Текст книги "The memoirs of a Russian schoolboy (СИ)"

Автор книги: Марат Нигматулин

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 9 страниц)

I returned home with heavy bags and no less heavy thoughts, squeezing me more and more as I approached my home: I was afraid that my parents found my disappearance, and therefore my knees were shaking. With incredible excitement I climbed the stairs of his home, waiting for subsequent executions of the parents, but my anxiety was in vain. I entered the apartment, snuck into my room, undressed and lay down in bed, hiding the loot in the closet, never being suspected of the crimes committed by me.

Chapter twenty-fourth.

Grishka.

About Gregory [Grishka – it's a Russiandiminutive from this name.] Potapov I have, perhaps, the warmest memories of those, what I have to have about the other students of our school. This remarkable person I will never forget not only as the good friend, but also as my first propaganda success.

The thing is that in those days I was very keen on the issues of propaganda and so-called «public relations», and therefore read a lot of relevant literature. It was the work of Dale Carnegie and Ron Hubbard, the speech of Joseph Goebbels and treatises of Cicero, written in obscure language monographs thick and thin tabloid books. I was interested in everything: methods of recruitment of totalitarian sects, Nazi propaganda, marketing issues and many other topics. I read any literature that touched upon the most pressing issue of my interest – how to turn other people into your obedient slaves. I considered first of all, of course, psychological methods of enslavement of other people, but did not give up completely and from methods much more rough, considering them as an option «as a last resort». My whole room was littered with various literature on the subject of interest to me: everything was here – from «Judgments and conversations» Confucius to «Encyclopedia of drug trafficking». Every single day I necessarily allocated several hours to train in rhetorical exercises which though were given to me easily, nevertheless took away a lot of time. Every day for two hours I learned to make speeches in front of the mirror at home, and in addition to everything I had a wonderful rhetorical practice in the form of reports at the lessons of history and social science, where I often spoke even more than Sergei Alexandrovich. As a result of such active exercises, I learned in some way political rhetoric, skills which later came in handy, though much earlier than I expected. About this, however, later.

When I sufficiently mastered the most important skill of any manipulator-namely, learned to carry a complete nonsense with a very serious face and an important kind – I decided to move from theory to practice. In practical terms, this meant that I set out to find a man and make him do what I needed to do myself. I did not want to build castles in the air, and therefore chose quite an achievable goal, deciding some sports and slender boy to make unsportsmanlike and well-fed. When to manipulate, I decided, was to choose a man on whom I had the manipulation to do. The choice fell on Gregory.

Now, when I described to you my then agitatory plans, I can finally describe the object of the implementation of these plans, – that is, Grishka. The first thing to say to that person, it is less suitable for the role of a fat man, I find, probably could not at all. The fact is that Potapov was not only slim, but also fantastic mobility, which caused such delight in his classmates and such indignation among teachers. In addition, he differed and very cool temper, and therefore fought in school almost every day, which contributed to those of his classmates who were jealous of the luxurious figure Potapov. In short, I hitherto not introduced to the reader properly with the appearance of Grigory Potapov, and therefore fix it now. Growth it was small, hardly exceeding in height the bar at 145 centimeters, which is somewhat reflected in his ego. Haircut he was «under the pot», and the hair had a very nice blond color, while the skin was dark, as the inhabitants of the Mediterranean, and his eyes were bright blue. His nose was small and snub, and the chin did not stand out, which usually for people Balts-Slavic race. Under the clothes he was hiding as hard as stone muscle – relief solid biceps and abs, which didn't seem to have an ounce of fat. He was originally from Belarus.

In the chapter about medical examination I already had to write about how I persuaded Grishka to gain at least a couple of kilograms, while he was still not ready to give his consent. Yes, my first attempts to persuade my friend to obesity did not have any success, because Potapov was disgusted with the idea of the possibility of getting fat. In short, this can only be blamed on mass culture that imposes stereotypes of behavior and standards of beauty on people. I had to change the influence of this very mass culture, which was difficult to do, but still possible.

Shortly before the new year holidays, which in those days lasted three weeks, we had a conversation with Grishka, given me further.

– Hey, Gregory! Let's talk! – I shouted at my friend on the stairs, when he once again rushed for one of his countless abusers.

– Well. – said the Grisha, stopping with a gesture beckoning me to the window on the landing that separated the third and fourth floors.

When we came to a huge panoramic window and the two of us stared at the snowflakes falling from the sky on our school yard, I continued: «Well, Grisha, – will you get fat? Now winter is the time.». After these words, frankly speaking, I expected that my interlocutor will simply shout out the word «no», and then will rush to catch up with the offender (or the victim). In reality, however, Potapov's answer pleased me much more.

– You know, Marat, – began he. – I thought and decided to, that, perhaps, to garner kilograms two-three can be. I think I'm too skinny for my age. I could use a few pounds of fat. Then, if that will be all this fat to turn into muscle. Soon winter holidays. On vacation I still have nothing to do, – all sports sections are closed. So. I have nothing to do, and so I'll lie on the couch and eat, eat, eat! It is possible that you will gain a few pounds extra.

All this tirade of his struck me to such an extent that I did not even know that I could answer all this, and therefore just blurted out: «Come on!». A friend probably took it as a kind of disapproval, which was evident from his confused face, but after a moment he continued.

– You know, I read an article in a magazine. I don't remember the name of the magazine, but I read the article. So, it says that fat is even more useful than thin! Can you imagine?! Now, it says that people with little overweight live much longer than thin people. Even it said that people with fat on the flanks and belly less cold in the winter, because the fat is what sort of insulation. Well, as on water pipes there is a thermal insulation, and here isolation. But there's a pipe, here, people. And here's what I thought: and I'm just very cold in the winter. I have no thermal insulation! That's why I have to get fat! Even it said that fat people are actively lean, because they carry energy as fat. Fat is energy! That's why skinny tired much faster than fat: when the thin energy is over, the fat man it is still full. Right people say: while the thick dries, thin will die. Still there stated that it is easier for fatties to swim. That's because fat is lighter than water. That's why fat people don't drown. I swim twice a week. That's why I thought it would be nice to gain a few pounds. What, – I'm better on the water to stay! In that magazine I read about the fact that the fat layer may be from blows to protect. That's what I especially need! I fight all the time! I was reading that if you have great abs and the top of the abs has a layer of fat, then you have no blows are not terrible. Except for knives, of course. So. Absolutely I have, – you only have to build on top of a little fat. That article also said that obesity is not a bad thing. That's good. I've told you before that people with a little extra weight live longer than thin?! He said Yes. Now, there was also written that there is fat external and internal. Here is external, – this hanging side, ass and so on. Here is external fat-this at all not harmful. On the contrary, it is very useful. But all the trouble is from internal fat. Internal-this is which accumulates on the internal organs. Heart, in the liver... they say that only boring to watch that the internal fat especially not accumulate. And so get’s fat to your health! There is still said that human health, and especially to move something is not necessary. So, walking in the fresh air to make three times in a week. This we all the teachers are brainwashed that, they say, you need a sport, you need a sport... And in actual fact sport we really do not need. You will think: three hours a week walk to yourself on the street, – and you will be healthy! And the rest of the time you can play computer games and crack sweets. Why do we need sport?! But not only that, the sport is not needed: it is also very harmful! Sport destroys health! You look at the professional athletes: they are all disabled by the age of forty! Sport is bad, of course... But I say I because the sport do not want to throw I have to play sports to beat all these motherfuckers. My classmates, I mean. Classmates to beat, – this, of course, sacred! Without this in any way. But on vacation I still have nothing to do, and so I stock up on chips, popcorn-and I will lie on the couch. I'll gain a few extra pounds!

– Okay, Marat, I'm gonna go, or it's gonna ring. – said Gregory and run away.

Yes, he pulled away from me, easy going down wide stone stairs while I was left standing looking out the window at the falling snowflakes, not even knowing what to think about all of this. Honestly, I was incredibly happy and my joy knew no bounds, for I realized that I had managed to win over Grigori that was supposed to be fat.

That night I didn't sleep, being in an incredibly excited and almost manic state, being in some anticipation of something great. All winter holidays were spent in heavy and painful expectation which, however, was for me very pleasant, as well as the first day of the third academic quarter. In that wonderful frosty morning I came to school twenty minutes earlier than usual, finding his friend even before the first the day of the lesson. I took my dear object of manipulation in the men's room and began to ask about everything.

– Well, what can I say, Marat? – rhetorically started talking of Floods, are starting a chocolate bar. – Great vacation! Actually great!

– What did you do?  I asked with burning eyes and deep interest.

– Well, how to say... – started Gregory. – I will tell directly: all the holidays I spent at home. Like Wake up in the morning... Well, morning... I Woke up hours are usually twelve to thirteen approximately. I also went to bed very late: about three o'clock in the morning. Stayed up late at night. So, I woke up, brushed my teeth, took a heavy pack of chips and sat at the computer. That's how I sat all day at the computer. Played computer games mostly. At the same time I constantly ate. Ate, ate and ate again! I constantly ate: as soon as I ran out of a pack of chips – so I immediately went for a new one. So I spent the day sitting at the computer and ate non-stop. I ate chips, corn sticks, cakes, pizza, ice cream, all sorts of cakes and chocolates and so on. I also watched horror movies at night. While I ate, so that will not find it. And you know, I'm feeling a lot better. Seriously! I became somewhat more cheerful-that is, more resilient... in short, I don't even know how to describe, but I feel fantastic. I've never felt so good. I gained four kilograms of excess fat during this vacation. At the beginning of the holidays I weighed 30 pounds, and now – 34. You know, I loved eating and not doing shit, so I thought I'd probably quit this stupid sport. I can beat my classmates.

At this point, Gregory lifted up his shirt and showed me all of his own achievements in the noble cause of intentional obesity: his abs thickets decent layer of very gentle young fat.

It was then that I cried in my soul, for it was the first time that I was able to sway another person to my side, manipulate him and make him do what I needed to do in the end. After this our conversation, things have gone incredibly quickly and easily, and my friend, the former parallel to this Guinea pig in my experiments – rapidly gaining weight. Potapov soon after this conversation completely abandoned the sport, choosing him a sedentary lifestyle at the computer, which turned out to be much more cute than active lifestyle.