Текст книги "Slow Twitch"

Автор книги: Лиз Реинхардт

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

“Sorry,” I said, pissed that my intentions wound up being so far off the mark. “I didn’t know that you were so sensitive about it.” Or I could have just said, ‘ You should throw a super hissy fit and scream at me now.’

“Sensitive? About being a girl? About being undressed with every pair of eyes out there? About being fantasized over? It creeps me out, but it fills my damn bank account, too. And there’s no one else to do it, you asshole!” Her eyes filled with tears that I knew for sure were the product of fury, not sadness. Just then Jimmy stuck his head in and offered us the drinks he just finished. She took her heavy tray and whirled out of the door, her smile big, fake, and for anyone and everyone but me.

I continued to take orders and bring food out. Cadence was right; the girls and women loved me, and they made it clear with their tips. And, like her, I felt a little cheap, but mostly grateful. Aunt Helene had been eyeing this ridiculously expensive farm sink and faucet, and I wanted to bring enough in to convince her to get it. By the end of a few hours, I had a steadfast argument based on a fat wad of cash.

But I wasn’t the only one with good luck in the customer generosity department. Cadence was chatting with a group of guys in a big, shiny pickup truck. She giggled and tossed her hair, making the most out of her generous breasts and touching one of the guys lightly on the hand and arm. The guy looked like one of those Scandinavian giants who hurl logs and drink beer out of animal tusks for fun. I’m no small guy, but he made me look like a toothpick. And that was the one Cadence was smiling at and rubbing the bicep of. By the time she finally tore herself away, I felt a lump of anger in my throat.

She skated into our booth breezily, her face relaxed and happy.

“Your customers’ drinks are practically warm,” I snapped. “Jimmy set them out here half an hour ago.”

“Half an hour?” She rolled her eyes at me. “You’re exaggerating.”

She snatched the tray of drinks up and skated away, clearly aggravated by my little outburst. I was also pretty aggravated at myself. I was pissed both that I gave a shit about her little flirtations and that I was being too much of a pussy to admit that it was normal and human of me to give a shit about it if Cadence was going to mean what I wanted her to mean to me.

I skated outside fast and almost collided with Cadence’s Goon.

“Watch it!” he snapped, his eyes already on Cadence, a few feet away, taking someone’s order.

“You watch it!” I yelled back. “You shouldn’t be out here! This area is for workers!”

It was. For workers. That didn’t make me sound like any less of a complete dweeb.

“Back off, Skates,” he snickered. His boys hooted. I felt a slow burn work its way down my arm, collecting right in my fist, which I was preparing to slam into Goon’s face.

Just then Cadence skated back. “Hey Jeff.” She gave Goon one of those little cutey girly kisses that girls give everyone; friends, babies, puppies, guys they don’t want to climb in bed with.

Except Cadence was looking at Goon with a look that I knew well. Because it was fairly often directed my way. It was the look of a girl who was definitely thinking about beds and climbing in.

She skated next to him while he walked back to the huge truck and she wasted another fifteen minutes with him before she skated back.

I hadn’t felt like that in…ever. I had never felt second best. Except with Brenna, and in that case I was second to Jake, so who the hell could blame her? But this asshole?

There was nothing appealing about him. Though he did drive. Which I could, but not now, without a vehicle. And he didn’t have to work six days a week, so I guess he could take Cadence out if she wanted to go. I noticed a Rutgers bumper sticker on his truck. He was probably older. A college guy.

I wished I hadn’t been such a pussy. I wished I had punched him in the face. Because now I had to live with thoughts that he had one-upped me in so many ways, I couldn’t even begin to get a handle on all of them.

When Cadence and I were alone again, I couldn’t help myself. “So you’re making the beast with two backs with Monstro?” I sneered.

She looked at me for a long minute. “That’s none of your damn business,” she said evenly. Her green eyes showed how clearly pissed she was. At me.

“It is my damn business if I’m spending all my time picking up your slack while you flirt.” The rage coursing through me was white-hot and completely blinding.

She just shook her head. “You’re pathetic, Saxon,” she said, and skated away.

I felt like I wanted to scream at someone. I felt like I wanted to break something. I couldn’t get a handle on myself. By the end of the night, I had a fat wad of money and a massive headache.

Cadence sat on the counter in the skate booth. She didn’t look up when I came in with my last tray.

“Cadence?”

“Mmm?” She was looking down at her phone. It looked like she was texting.

“Can I fucking talk to you?” I asked, my voice louder and meaner than I meant it to be.

She looked up slowly, tilted her head, and stared at me for a minute. “What do you want?”

“I want…to know if you want to go on a date with me?” I asked, and I felt my traitor wussy heart hammering in my chest.

“As sweet as that was, I’m going to have to say no,” she said absently, staring at the screen of her phone.

I grabbed her hand, the one holding the phone, and she jumped back a foot.

“Don’t touch me!” she hissed.

“Hear me out.” I realized that I was about to throw a match onto a big ass pile of lighter-fluid-soaked timber. “I feel like there’s something between us. I think you know what I mean. And if you’re willing to get busy with a meatwad like that Jeff guy, I deserve a chance.”

She stared at me with those killer eyes and that perfect pouty mouth and gave me a look of pure disgust that I should have expected but honestly hadn’t.

“Let me set you straight.” Her words frosted out, total ice. She was just as scary as her mother, and I was trapped in a tiny-ass booth with her. “You are a piece-of-shit, spoiled rotten, arrogant, unmotivated jerkoff. Guys like you are a dime a dozen. You’re going to compare yourself with Jeff? Jeff’s been working since middle school. Jeff has respect for the girls he dates. Jeff is enrolled in college and paying for it on his own. He’s interesting, he’s good-looking, and I like him. So back off, Saxon. You don’t stand a chance.”

“So you’re telling me that you don’t feel anything. Between us,” I demanded, forcing myself into her line of sight.

She kept her eyes down. One hand reached up and twirled a piece of silky black hair around her fingers. She looked straight at me. “That’s right, Saxon. I. Feel. Nothing. For. You.”

But her chest was heaving up and down from how hard she was breathing and her cheeks were red and her eyes were bright.

She was full of shit.

And I, Saxon Maclean, resident piece-of-shit, spoiled rotten, arrogant, unmotivated jerkoff was about to woo Cadence Erikson like a motherfucking romantic.

  Chapter Six

Jake

For the second time in my life, I had to sit Brenna down and tell her what an asshole fuckup I had been, and this time I told her face-to-face, so I had to actually watch all of her happiness crumble away and see her eyes get teary and blink hard.

I had to tell her about how I drank even though I didn’t want to, and how one drink turned into more than I could count faster than I could control. I had to figure out how to tell her about Caroline and skinny-dipping and my idiotic rescue, and I tried to make it sound less damning than it was, but also tell it fast, like ripping a tooth out by root instead of wiggling it slowly when you were a kid. When even the painful things were pretty simple.

When she finally opened her mouth to say something back to me, her voice was cracked and scratchy, the way I hated to hear it. Because I really did love her more than I could say, more than I could get a handle on. And that meant that seeing her sad or upset for any reason tore into me, and I hated it.

And when I was the cause of her pain? I hated myself.

“So, are you and Caroline a thing? Were you a thing?” She was holding her eyes open too wide, a trick she used to keep from crying. My heart seized and stuttered.

“Never. Not for one second.” I tried to make her hear the truth of it in my voice. “Listen to me, Brenna. I saw her totally naked, and I didn’t feel a thing. Not one fucking thing, okay?” I looked at her eyes. They shone kind of blue, kind of green, clear and pretty. Usually all I could focus on was how gorgeous they were. Now they just shifted and darted away from my gaze, frantic with all that hurt.

“She’s pretty. I mean, it’s stupid to lie and say that you didn’t feel anything. Any guy would have been turned on by her.” Brenna grabbed her hands in her lap and twisted them.

I knelt in front of her, laid my head on her lap and took her hands in mine. “I’m not any guy, Brenna. I’m your boyfriend. I’d be crazy to want another girl. It was a mistake. A big mistake.”

“Do you think you have a drinking problem?” she said slowly. “Like maybe you have, I don’t know, like, some kind of alcoholism and that’s why you drink so much when you don’t want to?” She rushed the words, like she wanted to push them out of her mouth before they left a permanently bad taste in it.

“Bren, I was just stupid. Once. I don’t want to drink anymore, and I won’t. Okay?” I was trying like hell to reassure her. I’d worried about telling her this for weeks, and now here I was, doing it and hating it, but at least it was getting done.

“Okay.” She swallowed hard, then looked at the door. I turned and looked too, but there was no one there.

“What is it, Bren?” I rubbed my thumbs over the soft skin on her knuckles. This girl even had great knuckles.

“I just haven’t seen my mom since your grandmother took her. It’s weird.” She pulled in a long, shaky breath, and I realized she needed comfort, needed to get away from what had made her so sad. From me.

Brenna’s mother was kind of a constant worrier. She hovered over Brenna all the time. Not that I was complaining; if I had a daughter like Brenna, I’d guard her with a shotgun.

But I’d witnessed first-hand how the rules changed at Mama D’s house. Everyone lived in this responsibility-less, plastic happy bubble, and anything bad that happened, like a girl almost drowning, just got resolved as quickly as it could and was appreciated for all the drama it created.

“This place is like a casino.” I smiled at her, slow and cautious to let her know I wasn’t trying to cop out for being a dick earlier. “You can get sucked in and lose track of time. You want to go find her?”

“Do you think everyone’s being nice to her?” Brenna’s voice coasted out, small and muted.

I rubbed her hands again, loving how soft they were. “Yeah, Bren, as nice as they’re capable of being. They’ve been waiting for three weeks for your mom to show up, so they’re all going to be bugging her. You know she’s probably giving a lecture in front of some old oil painting of ugly kids somewhere.” This time when I put a smile out there, Brenna returned it. Then a laugh tripped out before she could hold it back, and my heart felt fuller than it had since I had said good-bye to her before she went to Ireland.

She pulled me on the bed with a gentle tug and we snuggled close in the block of afternoon sun on the bedspread. Her shiny, good-smelling hair was tumbled all over the pillows. It looked like dark honey.

There was something powerful about Brenna. When I was around her, it was like life suddenly got smoother, cleaner, more focused, and generally better. I’ve never been good with words, and talking about Brenna was basically impossible for me. It was always tricky for me to describe the way I felt about her.

All of that was going through my head, and the fact that her skin looked so soft, and her mouth was so pink, and she was smiling this smile that walked between the lines of being innocently sweet and dangerously sexy. Her eyes were wide open and looking right at me, and she blinked slowly, letting her lashes flutter a little. I have no clue why her lashes would have turned me on so much, but they were like a hot button that she knew just how to push.

So I rolled over and kissed her, letting my body press down on hers. She was all soft curves, dips, and creamy skin. I kissed her as slowly as I could, because if I didn’t wrap my head around being slow and precise, I sometimes got scared that I would just bust out and maul her. Even now, my hands were everywhere on her, unsnapping her bra, rubbing her neck and holding her head, moving down her back, and then down her stomach. The pace was based partially on pure giddiness at seeing her again after weeks apart, and partially on total relief that she was willing to let me hold her and kiss her after my colossal screw-up with Caroline.

“Jake.” The whisper of her voice made my brain crash. I had never felt like I wanted anything as badly as I wanted her. But, of course, I couldn’t give in to that.

Brenna’s virginity was really important to me.

It sounded ridiculous when I thought it out, but that was the absolute truth. I had been so stupid about sex and girls, and had been with so many it was insane. She wanted to have sex with me, but I didn’t know if I could do all the right things for her. If I’d ever been with a virgin before Brenna, I didn’t know it. And even if I’d known, I could guarantee I wouldn’t have cared too much. Probably wouldn’t even have remembered her name. Because then I was doing it for simple animal comfort. It meant nothing.

I didn’t want to have any trace of that with Brenna.

That didn’t stop me from doing other things. Hey, no one ever called me a saint, and nothing on this earth could make me happier than making Brenna happy.

I let myself kiss her down her body, along the smooth column of her neck, down under her loosened bra. I loved how she sucked her breath in hard. I loved her boobs, soft and full and perfect. My girlfriend had a lot of great qualities, and I wasn’t about to gloss over the physical ones.

I sucked on her skin until she was squirming under me. She had on this great short skirt, so short there was nothing for me to push up when my hand moved along the inside of her thigh. My fingers reached under her panties, and I could feel how wet she was. It was exciting, to the point where I had to close my eyes and take a couple of deep breaths to keep from turning into a horny beast on her.

All of this might seem kind of elementary for a guy with my past, but it was actually pretty much the opposite. There was never any foreplay before. Even my idiot move this winter, sleeping with that dumb girl from my math class, Nikki, hadn’t involved any of this.

I didn’t know if Brenna realized that in some ways, I was ten times the virgin she was.

I found the little bead of her clit and rubbed at it, my fingers slick from her. I loved seeing how fast and hard she breathed. I loved how she curved her spine up off of the bed and pushed her hips at me so fast. Then her eyes opened and she grabbed at me and moaned and kissed me, and I could feel that she was coming.

She was kissing me hard, and I tried to pull my hand away, but she grabbed at my wrist.

“Let’s do it, Jake.” She licked her lips and her eyes shone bright. “Please.”

Then I realized that itwas sex. “Not now, Bren.” I kissed her hard. “Not here. This is such a shitty place.”

“Why does that matter?” Her voice was still eager, but also a little wobbly, like she knew that she probably wouldn’t change my mind.

“Because it’s your first time, and I want to make sure that it’s special.” What was there to argue about with that kind of reason?

“It will be. It will be special if it’s with you,” she said, her voice and kissing and touching all a lot more urgent suddenly.

“Brenna, I promise, if you want we can do it soon. But not now. It’s almost dinner time,” I said, finally grasping onto the one fact of real life that might snap her out of the quiet of this over-decorated room and this almost-sex thing we kept getting too close to.

“Dinner.” The insistent glow went out of her eyes. She looked like a rational, normal girl again, and I felt a breath of relief.

“Dinner. C’mon. Let’s go and find Mom before we get to the table.” Brenna’s mother was not usually the first person I wanted to see, but in this place, she was the next sanest after Brenna.

“Okay.” She kissed the tip of my nose and smiled. “I’m going to change.”

I shook my head. “You look great.” I pulled her hand, luring her back towards me. She fell next to me with a smile so big and sweet, it made my heart trip.

“Jake, I’ve been in this outfit since yesterday! Let me change.”

“Let me watch.” I could feel my voice stick somewhere low and deep in my throat.

She didn’t say anything. If I had to make a bet, I would bet that she was running through her head the image of a naked Caroline on the beach with me. She looked up and her eyes radiated pure challenge.

I should have stopped her then, but I couldn’t. She took her tank top off over her head, then slipped her skirt down. She was wearing blue, sky-blue underwear and a tiny little bra with lace. Weird that I had felt both pieces, but didn’t know their color until the minute she wanted to show me.

She walked to her suitcase and opened it up. I loved the way her shoulders curved. I loved the dip of her bellybutton. I loved the smooth rounding of her thighs. I tried to tell myself that this was exactly how much of her I would see if I saw her in a bathing suit.

But it wasn’t a bathing suit.

No one else would see this particular version of Brenna.

Just me.

And that made all the difference.

She bent and dug through her outfits and found a yellow dress with a little system of holes and embroidery. I knew the name: eyelet. She put it on, and I guess she assumed the show was over, but as far as I was concerned, it was still going strong. I watched her brush her hair and put it back in a ponytail. I liked being able to see all of her face. She turned to the side to check the dress, then turned around and looked over her shoulder at the back, straightening the straps. I loved the way her body moved. I loved the serious expression that scrunched her nose and lowered her eyebrows when she was trying to decide whether or not she really liked an outfit.

She went into the bathroom and ran the water to wash her face, and I was left lying on the bed, wondering what would happen tonight. Because she looked way beyond good. And the other guys here were hot for something new.

Caroline had been right about the fact that this place was incestuous, and the fact that Brenna was new meat made her vulnerable to them all. I couldn’t afford to let her out of my sight, not for a minute. I needed to keep her close.

When she came out of the bathroom, I pulled her back onto the bed, on top of me because I wanted to feel her, solid and real. This house, these people, had freaked me out since the day I walked into their big, over-crystalled dining room, and I had wanted Brenna with me to face them. Now I just wanted Brenna and not them.

She was kissing me lazily when I heard footsteps. We stopped, and her eyes flew wide open. She didn’t want me in here if it was her mother, but short of getting under the bed, I didn’t know what to do. The door popped open just as we finished straightening our hair and clothes in that way that always looked a hundred percent guilty.

“Hey. Dinner.” Caroline smiled smugly, like she knew she was crashing a party where every single person wanted her gone. Why that would make her feel so good was beyond me, but girls like her never made any sense to me anyway.

“Ready, Bren?” I put my hand out and took hers, noticing that her palm was slightly sweaty.

Caroline snickered. “Let’s hope so.”

“Mind your damn business,” I bit out.

Brenna touched my arm, her eyes wide with nervous anticipation. And I wanted again, badly, to leave.

I checked my tongue and we walked downstairs where the exact same set of faces from my first night smiled too wide at us. I knew names now, but the bottom line was there wasn’t one of them I cared about enough to actually bother introducing Brenna to. And there wasn’t one of them I felt deserved to meet her.

“Hello, Brenna!” Mama D called.

I saw Mrs. Blixen sitting next to Mama D, waving happily to Brenna and me. She was definitely into this whole scene, which shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did.

Of course Brenna’s mother would want her to spend her summer with some of the richest, most cultured people in country. Of course, she was seeing them as an adult and a guest. Not as a potential fortunate son. There was a big difference between our perspectives.

Brenna and I sat down next to each other, and I could see her glancing down the table at her mother uncertainly. Mrs. Blixen was chatting away, accepting another glass of wine, and having a fine old time. It looked a little like Brenna’s feelings were hurt.

I squeezed her hand under the table. “Don’t feel bad, Bren. They have that effect on people, you know? They make you feel like you’re with celebrities or something.”

She gave me a tiny smile and didn’t have to reply because the salad course was being set out. We ate through the next few plates without saying anything. This sucked. Brenna was the one person I could be myself with, open up with. I didn’t want this awkward, bumbling silence. They were ruining what we had together.

It was the quietest Brenna’d ever been in the whole time I’d known her. She was almost withdrawn. I wanted to put both my arms around her and not let go. I wanted to take her somewhere, just the two of us, and kick this whole fucking fiasco to the curb.

Mama D wasn’t going to let anything go that easily.

“Brenna!” she cried. “Your mother has told us that you studied at Trinity.” Her eyes were the same color and shape as mine, but I don’t think mine ever looked like they were actually boring into another human’s skull.

“Yes. Under Dr. Gorman,” Brenna said clearly.

“That pisser!” Mama D howled. “He failed poor Gerald two semesters in a row, didn’t he dear?”

My father looked up, his eyes extra red-rimmed. He held up his glass. “Here’s to the old bastard,” he said and took a long drink.

The table full of people laughed like crazy. I thought he was acting like an asshole, but apparently I was in the minority.

“How did you find him, Brenna?” Mama D asked, totally throwing down.

“He expects hard work. But I’ve never had a problem with that.” Her smile bloomed, innocently sweet.

I chuckled, and after a short pause, the rest of the table burst into laughter.

“You and Jake make a wonderful couple.” Mama D looked Brenna up and down and stamped her approval. I felt my blood go a little cold. Mrs. Blixen had been cool so far, but this was taking it to a whole new level. I knew that any minute she was going to jump up and disagree with Mama D in that polite way that made it all seem so civil. I could practically hear the words ringing in my ears; too young, plenty of time, see other people, keep things casual.

She didn’t do a thing.

“I’m just glad that Brenna ever agreed to date me,” I said in the silence. Every single person eyed Brenna, and it was pretty damn clear that most of them thought Mama D’s proclamation was overly complimentary. Which made my blood run hot.

“She obviously knows a diamond in the rough when she sees one.” Mama D smiled. Sort of smiled. At least her lips curled. Up.

Caroline stood suddenly. “Ready, Bryce?” she snapped.

Mr. Abercrombie stood up and followed her sashaying behind, and the rest of the high school and college set got up and slowly started towards the door.

Brenna looked at me like she was unsure, and that was really weird. Usually Brenna knew exactly what she was doing. She didn’t need to ask me about anything. I wasn’t sure how to answer this unasked question. Going down to the lake was what they did, and mostly what I had done too, just because there was nothing else to do and no one else to do it with. Now that Brenna was here, I felt like the possibilities were open again. Her mother’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Brenna, Jake, you should go with the kids. Don’t worry about me.” Her smile was warm, bordering on toasted. Brenna smiled back, and I could tell that was exactly what had been bothering her all along. She got up, and I followed her.

She stopped to kiss her mother on the cheek, which I thought was nice, but I caught a couple of rolled eyes. The jealousy and judgment here was so thick it could practically choke you. They were all smiles to your face and big-ass daggers in your back.

“Come on, Bren,” I urged, and she took one look at her mother, laughing at some story someone had told before she followed me.

“It’s just weird,” she said once we were out in the cool night air.

“What’s that?” I took her hand in mine. I noticed she was wearing the gold posey ring I had given her this past Christmas. Man, I had agonized over that damn ring. I wanted to give her something nice that wasn’t clingy. I think I wound up just freaking her out, because she broke up with me a few days later. It had been a fairly shitty few weeks between us after that.

“It’s weird how the rules are all different all of a sudden.” She trailed her fingers over the high clumps of grass on either side of the path. “Like we’re allowed to do what we want here.”

I would have expected that kind of freedom to make her happy, but she just looked worried.

“This is like an alternate universe,” I said. She smiled nervously. “They do what they want. Whatever they want, whenever. It’s just a weird way to be.”

“So, you’re not feeling it? I mean, being here with your family hasn’t been what you expected?” She pulled her hair out of its ponytail and it all swished down her back in a long, shiny rush. I loved when it flowed long like that.

“I don’t think I really expected anything.” I tugged her close and kissed her neck, under all that soft hair. “I don’t like them. I think they’re mostly full of shit, and there won’t be any tears shed on my end when I finally leave here. I’m ready to go back to normal life, you know?” She smiled sadly. “I’m ready to go back to you and me and work and school. It was hard, but it’s who I am. All of this lounging around makes you spoiled, I guess.”

She swung my hand in hers. “You deserve a break.” A slow, sweet smile unfolded on her lips. “And maybe this whole thing doesn’t have to be a waste.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, and I couldn’t help grinning. I loved when her voice got like that, like she was going to tell me to break the rules and not be a baby about it.

“Let’s not go to the beach.” Her mouth was suddenly on mine, right there on the path.

I kissed her back and ran my hands down her arms, then pulled her to me. “I can’t do that yet, Brenna.” I pulled away with a lot of effort. A whole lot of effort.

“I didn’t say we should do anything in particular.” Her eyes blinked slowly and her voice rasped out, low and coaxing.

“There’s a little boat house,” I said after debating for about half a second, and led her by the hand.

The only light was from the nearly full moon. The boat house was just a huge garage, but the boats stored in it were fancy, decked-out boats. The kind that had cabins below deck. My family, and the others, were so rich that these were just the older spare boats. There were still a ton docked on the far side of the lake for everyday use.

Because everyone needs a garage full of emergency luxury boats, right?

Brenna was giggling, and she looked so cute, I was in on the plan without any regrets. I hoisted her up on the deck of one boat and climbed after her. I took her hand and led her down into the stale-smelling cabin. It was a pretty simple set up; a galley kitchen and dining room, a little sitting space and a room with a big bed, all compact.

“It’s like a tiny house,” she whispered, though no one could have heard us down there.

I took her hands. “If we stole this boat, we could live on it and go around the world.”

She looked around as if she were considering the plan. “Can you sail?”

“No,” I admitted. “But I can figure it out.”

“What if we get caught in a hurricane?” She dragged her fingers along my jaw slowly.

“I’ll keep you safe,” I said into her ear. And then I bit down on her earlobe because I knew she would suck her breath in fast, and I loved making her do that.

“What if we get attacked? By pirates?” She ran a trail of quick, light kisses up and down my neck.

I was already backing up and pulling her over to the bed, drawing her into the little secluded space that would only fit the two of us. I wanted to feel claustrophobic with her.

“I’ll fight them all. I’ll protect you,” I whispered and fell back onto the bed, yanking Brenna on top of me.

She kissed me, a soft rain of her lips on my mouth and skin. I was happy to have her, so happy I got sloppy. In my defense, it was only a tiny dress, one little piece of yellow fabric that came off so easily there almost didn’t have to be forethought before it was just gone without any real contemplation.

And the light blue fabric underneath got wiggled out of so easily, I swear it was just because our bodies were rubbing against each other and it happened.

And I was so busy appreciating Brenna, her beauty, her nearness, the smell of her, the way her skin tasted, and the feel of her breath on my neck when my hands and mouth made her sigh and gasp, that reason and logic and thought all bled away.

Her hands were fast and sure, so my clothes were strewn around the bed soon, and every place we touched was hot and good, because it was just my skin on hers and hers on mine.

It wasn’t even temptation; that would mean one of us had something like a thought in our heads. That would be a stretch. This was pure feeling, pure instinct, and it was leading us places that were really, deliriously good.

And really fucking scary.

Brenna rolled over and slid against me, her body one long, smooth, soft rub against mine. I felt a little bit like I had been punched square in the face, and when I closed my eyes, I could see stars bursting against my eyelids. We were right against each other, perfectly lined up, and with an easy adjustment or two, we’d be at a place we couldn’t come back from. Brenna pushed up and then back down, warm and wet and, I knew, ready.