Текст книги "Both of Her"
Автор книги: Kathy Coopmans
Соавторы: Alisa Mullen
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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 13 страниц)
“Luca. What the fuck is going on?” Mitch pounds on the bathroom door. “Let me in right now, god damn it.”
“Mitch, I can’t do this,” I manage to croak out.
“For god’s sake, unlock this door.” Every single limb of my body is unstable as I try to stand, but I know he won’t leave my office until I tell him something. My reaction to the situation is completely unlike me. I’m never caught off guard. I’m never unprofessional. Twisting the knob, I open the door to my friend and colleague looking at me with concern all over his face. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he says as soon as he sees me before pulling me into his arms, wrapping them tightly around me.
“Oh hell, Mitch. I… I’m so sorry. This is a chaos. A mess, and I…” His hands slide up and down my back in a soothing motion.
“Luca, what are you going on about? You haven’t been yourself since you returned home. You need to start talking.”
“I’m not sure if I can.” I begin to cry, my tears soaking into his shirt.
“Sweetheart, what is it? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what is going on?”
Mitch guides me to my loveseat, where he pulls me into his lap, letting me curl into him like a small child. The two of us sit there in silence with him soothing me. How can I tell him? Where do I even start?
He beats me to it when he starts to talk. His words precise and to the point. “You know one of them, don’t you?”
“I know them both,” I whisper, clinging strongly to his now wrinkled shirt.
“Christ, Luca. Business or pleasure?” he questions. And here comes the moment of truth. The moment when the wheels will fall off of my life and I’ll be left clinging onto the brittle fragments that are left, or hopefully where my friend can help me find some sort of tiny shred of hope. The small trace of security and dignity that, up until a few moments ago, consumed me were gone.
For two long hours, I tell Mitch everything, leaving nothing about the last ten years of my life out.
He listens.
He asks several questions about things that he is curious about. He laughs when he thinks I have said something funny, then holds me close when I break down and cry.
When I finally get to the weekend prior and the time I spent with Heath, he tells me we will get through this as a team, a family. There is no disapproving tone in his voice, no bitterness, no pity. There is only concrete phrases of reassurance.
The soft sound of Mitch’s secretary, Renee’s, voice interrupts us through the intercom on my desk. I’m surprised someone hasn’t come in to check on us before this.
“Yes, Renee?” I find my strength, bringing my voice back into a professional mode.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” she says, sounding somewhat timid.
“It’s perfectly fine. I’m sorry I had to leave you like that. I had a pressing matter to take care of and Luca has been helping.” Mitch lies to her.
“I understand.” She doesn’t though. Not a damn person knows what I’m going through. What I’ve done. The position I have put my friends and our company in. She must think I’m crazy the way I ran down the hallway, past the three assistant desk, landing myself right where I am now.
“Luca, Mr. Steel would like to speak with you before he leaves,” she states rather abruptly.
I whip my head toward Mitch, unsure of what to do. He closes his eyes and I see a look of resolve shadow over his face. Finally, he looks at me and mouths. “You can do this.”
“Okay, send him to my office in ten minutes. Oh, and Renee?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.” I state calmly.
“You’re welcome, Luca. I hope everything is alright?” Her voice full of concern.
“Everything is fine. Thank you.” This time I lie instead of Mitch. I’m not fine. I may never be fine again.
I am undeniably, unequivocally pitiful looking, both inside and out. A disastrous mess. With nothing more to do with my appearance, I fidget in my chair, waiting for Camden. I glance down at the ring that graces my finger. It’s the only piece of jewelry I wear on a daily basis, from all the pieces I have, and it’s from him. Camden. The man who changed my life. I’ve always felt a pang of love for that man. He made me fall in love with my night life and with sex. Camden taught me so much in the little time we spent together. Did notice the ring still rested on my finger where he placed it all those years ago?
I glance down at the ankle bracelet I decided to keep on. This is some fucked up shit. The two men I’ve had the best time with, out of all of them, know each other. The rip roaring fuck of it all is that I slept with both of them.
EIGHT
“Luca.”
I hear my name every day, but hearing the sound of it coming from his mouth has my heart pounding clear out of the cavity that it is nestled in. I’m sitting in my chair, staring out at Lake Michigan, trying to focus so damn hard to see where the ice ends and the deep dark waters begin. That’s the best way to describe my life right now. Where does one of me begin and the other one end?
“Look at me, Luca. Please?” Camden’s deep gravelly voice sends me back so many years.
“I can’t,” I whisper.
It’s quiet, so very eerily quiet. I know he’s still here, I can smell him. He smells the exact same as he did a decade ago. Natural. Pure male with no strong odor of cologne. When I shook his hand a few hours earlier I felt nothing. And now, alone with him in my office, I feel it all. The undeniable chemistry is there, surrounding me until he is all I can see and feel.
“Hide away from anyone else, Luca, but not me. Never hide from me. And for Christ sakes, do not deny me the honor of being able to look at you.” I’m suddenly spun around in my chair, both of his strong masculine arms cage me in. God, he is undeniably handsome. With a slight amount of graying at his temples and slight specks of gray mixed in with his dark hair, he looks even more handsome than he did a decade ago. He has age lines that surround his eyes, yet his intense look still pierces deep into me. His body still calls to me. He is still toned and clearly still takes amazing care of himself in such a way that makes Heath look like a boy. There is no other way to put it, he’s an older gentleman who is drop dead sexy.
“You’ve been crying?” A finger gently swipes, skimming under my eye. My makeup is long gone, cried during my time with Mitch. Something about the way he’s looking at me makes me not care about appearance.
“I have but I’m fine now,” I simply say.
“Are you?” He stands tall, questioning what I say.
“Yes,” I lie.
“Well, at least one of us is fine then,” he replies, crossing his arms over his wide chest. Like the woman I am, I cannot help myself but to reach out and take a trip down memory lane, touching every inch of his body. His chest is solid, muscles hidden under the white dress shirt he is wearing. My hands continue their exploration until they land on his dick that seems to be rock solid. I inhale in a ragged breath as I run my hand against his hardness, straining against the softness of his suit.
“Yes, you still make me hard just by looking at you,” he rasps out.
I merely whimper, squirming in my seat by his abrasiveness. “But, no games, Camden. This is my life, my business that we are going to discuss. Strictly business.” It’s obvious that I want my words bitter and angry, but at who? Him? No, I can’t be angry at him, not at all. He’s so big. So much larger everywhere than I remember. Especially the muscle in his body I know the best. God, I’m a mess. I’m a wicked, hopeless mess to even think about sex right now when my business could be tossed into the middle of the great lake outside my window.
“It’s a start, Luca, but you and I both know we will be discussing a hell of a lot more than business.” He turns, giving me a fine view of his rock hard, muscular ass.
Visions of my business sinking is all I can see.
“How did you find me?” I ask, straining to hold myself together and not fall apart from fear and worry.
He steps away, going to sit in the chair on the other side of my desk. I rotate my chair so I’m again facing him and place my folded hands on the table, trying to remain professional.
Whether he’s pondering my question or trying to come up with a lie, I have no idea until he answers with the last thing I ever would have thought about.
“Do you know how much of a coincidence it was, six months ago, when I happened to have the cockpit door open on my plane and I looked out to see the most beautiful woman who has graced so many of my dreams over the past ten years sitting in the very front seat of first class?” He raised his brow, looking at me, gauging my reaction.
“A coincidence indeed,” I say.
“There you were… after all these years, in the flesh. It wasn’t too hard from there to find out more about you. Your name right was right in front of me on the passenger list. Google is a splendid thing, Luca. I will say this, I’m very proud of you.” Camden winks at me.
God, how much does he know? Does he know everything? Does he only know about Heath? Does he even know about Heath or any of it? He can’t possibly know about my escorting. There isn’t a damn thing about me on google when it comes to that. It’s all kept very private for a reason.
“What do you mean?” I ask, tamping down my incredulity and curiosity that are getting the best of me.
“You’ve done exceptionally well for yourself. You’ve accomplished all of your dreams, haven’t you?” Somehow his proclamation doesn’t sound like he only means my billion dollar company. He knows about more that Heath. God damn it.
“I have, Camden. I’m still happily chasing my dreams. I never want them to end.” For some reason, I want to also say, there take that, fucker, but I don’t.
“Perhaps your resume and marketing strategy aren’t showing you in your best light, Luca.”
“Alright, Camden, damn it, enough. Spit it out. Just say what you want to say. Cut the bullshit.” I’m done with his beating around.
“You’re done with your weekend activities,” he says slowly, his voice low, almost a growl. His words send a jolt of absolute seriousness though my body making my spine lurch. Something is very wrong with this man and this situation.
“What the fuck did you just say?” I stand up, running my hands thought my hair which is already in complete disarray. Who the hell does this man think he is?
“You fucking heard me, Luca. You are done!”
His fierce bolt of control does not sit well with me at all. We’re standing, leaning slightly over the desk, both showing our assertion. Our mouths are so close to one another’s. It would take nothing for either one of us to fuse them together.
“So this is why you’re really here? It has absolutely nothing to do with business, with you wanting to use my firm. How dare you, Camden? You spent one weekend with me, ten years ago I might add, and now you think you have the right to storm into my office and tell me I have to give up what you so eloquently helped me achieve. Well, fuck you straight back to the land of fucking Oz, because there’s no way in hell I’ll give up what I love to do. Not for you or anyone else. Now get the hell out of my office.”
This man is insane. He needs a psychiatrist if he thinks he has the right to tell me what to do.
We study each other in silence for minutes, neither one budging.
“Camden, leave,” I whisper. “I’m none of your business.”
“What if I want to make you my business, Luca? What if I want to be the man I believe you need?” He paused for a moment, before continuing, his words softer, “And what if I want you to be the woman I’ve been searching for the last ten damn years.”
My stomach stirred to life with his admission. Dear god, what exactly is he saying? He wants to get to know me? Date me? Has he hit a mid-life crisis and suddenly realizes he could wind up alone for the rest of his life? I don’t understand. None of this makes any kind of sense to me at all.
“What are you saying, Camden? And how do you know I’m who you want?” Frozen stiff for a moment, I search deep into his eyes. My God, he’s serious.
“I know that when I spent time with you all those years ago that I never should have let you go. That’s all you need to know, Luca.”
All of my defense mechanisms tell me to slap him, hard, across the face.
“I want you and not in the way all those other men have wanted you. I want you to be mine. I want to show you the world and, by god woman, I want you to let me completely devour you. This?” He grabs my hand, shoving the ring he gave me in between the two of us. The diamond is glistening in the overhead light just as much as my unshed tears. “Means something to you. You wear it. Out of everything I know you have, you choose to wear the ring I gave you. If you can honestly stand here and tell me you haven’t thought of me every single time you’ve looked at this ring, I will walk.”
Camden’s pushing me. He knows he has me backed into a corner, yet he keeps pushing. I feel as if I’m plastered against the hard surface of a brick wall, unable to move.
“You can’t, can you?”
I merely shake my head. I’m scared of so many things. He cannot expect me to give it all up, can he? And what about this past weekend? Surely he knows about me being with his business partner if he knows about all the other men
“You’re thinking too hard. Have you forgotten the one thing I told you?”
“No.” My voice cracks.
“I told you to feel. Don’t think, just feel.” I try to maintain my calm. To hold on to any type of control, if only for my own sanity’s sake, but I can’t. This is all too overwhelming, too much to handle. I need time. I need to think. I haven’t been able to think straight for days. I don’t even know who the hell I really am anymore.
Maybe I’ve never known.
My lips begin to quiver and a whimper escapes from my mouth. I’m not sure if he takes it as a sign of weakness or a sign that I’m interested. I have no idea what he’s thinking or have time to think about it. His mouth descends upon mine almost the same moment the sound falls from my lips. His mouth is familiar in more ways than I ever thought possible. How can this feel so right yet be so very wrong?
When you move like lightning, you crash like thunder, and this is what happens when he wraps his arms around me and pulls me toward him, lifting me to the top of my desk. Papers fly all over the floor, as I scurry my body across the top of the glossy hard wood, tugging onto his tie, drawing him into me. On my knees, our mouths fuse together.
My sense of feeling erupts at his tender touch. The way he owns my tongue, twining it with his.
My sense of hearing awakens when our moans try to outdo one another’s.
My sense of taste comes deliciously alive, as he sexually lures me inside of his mouth when he sucks on my tongue.
My sense of touch explodes when he threads his big hands through my hair, cupping the back of my head.
And oh god, my sense of sight is the one that combines them all, because when I open my eyes to look at the man before me, Camden Steel is looking back at me. His eyes are speaking everything I feel, hear, taste, and touch. He wants me. He means what he says. Kissing is such an intimate act, one I have done so many times without a second thought, but this kiss is so much more.
“You are so beautiful, Luca. Don’t deny us this. Come away with me. Stay here in Chicago with me. I really don’t care. Just don’t turn me away.” Silence falls between us and his deep blue eyes hold mine in place.
“Alright.” My answer finally comes, startling myself even more than I think it does him.
“I have to fly someone to New York tonight, but I’ll be back to take you to dinner tomorrow,” he huffs out through a ragged breath.
“Let me cook for you.” What the hell is that? I never cook. I never stay in.
“Then I’ll be there at seven.” Camden takes an enquiring look around us. Papers are scattered all over the floor. His papers. His marketing portfolio. Releasing me from the hold he has me in, he presses one last kiss to my lips. I watch him in awe as he picks up every single piece off of the floor.
“I’m here for all of you, Luca. That includes your firm. I’ve done my research on every aspect of your life.”
I sink into myself as he walks out the door, leaving me to wonder where in hell I go from here. My thoughts are all cluster-fucked together, I jump when I hear Annie call my name through the open door.
“Are you alright?” She’s looking at me as if seeing a stranger.
“Yes, no,” I answer, completely unsure. I’m not ready to share any of this with her.
“Are you going to tell me who he is to you or do I have to guess?” She crosses her arms over her plump chest. Jesus Christ, enough already.
“He’s an old friend,” I say with a wave of my hand.
“An old friend who placed you on top of your desk? A leaving you with your face all flush like you’ve just been thoroughly fucked kind of friend?”
“I didn’t fuck him. God, Annie. I may have had my mind elsewhere these past few days, but give me some credit here.” Sliding down off of my desk, I straighten myself out the best I can.
“I’m sorry,” she says contritely.
“It’s ok. I would definitely think the same thing if I walked in on you with someone like that.”
“Well, I can tell you’re not into sharing any information, so I’m going to take off. I only wanted to tell you that Heath Landon has called three times in the past hour. That man sure is persistent. I mean, I kept telling him you were in a meeting with Mr. Steel and you would call him back,” she huffs, handing me a piece of paper with his number on it. God, how I wanted this number in a bad way the other day, and now that I have it, staring back at me, I don’t want it anymore.
NINE
My god, what have I done? How could I have given into Camden so easily? A few days ago, my life was perfectly fine and now, well now, I’m slipping into a pile of quicksand full of despair and desperation. I agreed to scale back my life for him, come to a grinding halt. I’ve worked too hard for all of this. I love my life and now I’m walking blindfolded on a very thin tightrope.
I immediately chastise myself even more than I already had been, when my hands pick up my phone, before setting it back down again; with this faceless new feeling of fear like I’ve never known before staring back at me. Heath, I have to call him. What do I say? Oh hey, by the way, I had a great time this past weekend, but I’m giving it all up for your partner. Would you like your anklet back?
“Lucia.” I immediately jump at the sound of hearing my name, my other name. A name coming out of the very same man’s mouth who, just days before, had it all over my body. The same man who gave me pleasure like no man before him did. Except for one. His business partner.
“Heath, how did you get in here?” I’m trying to pull my wits together, find myself. Even though I’m in my office, I’m not sure if I’m Luca or Lucia right now. With the way Heath is looking at me, it gives me the answer I need. He’s holding me in his gaze like he wants to spread me across my desk, whip out his glorious cock, and fuck me. No, I cannot let this happen. Even though every part of my body comes alive in his presence, craving nothing more than a release, if only from the tension my body holds.
“I never left. I’ve been with Mitch and Leo this whole time, while you’ve been hiding out in here with Camden. Care to explain how you know my partner? Was he one of your many conquests? It’s quite ironic, don’t you think?” He slams the door behind him, stalking my way. In an instant, his features change from lust to anger.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” I respond sarcastically.
“Don’t I? Because watching you run away and lock yourself up in this office did not come from just seeing me. No, it came from seeing the both of us together. What the fuck are you hiding?”
I retreat back into my chair, seeking safety. This isn’t the same sweet man from the weekend who worshipped me. This man speaks danger. My heart stutters and it becomes difficult to breathe, the air in the room turning ice cold.
“I don’t owe you anything, Heath.”
He comes closer to me. I try and observe his face, examining the death glare penetrating through me. Jesus, he looks like he wants to kill me. Suddenly, I am not so excited about this man the way I was earlier. No, he looks like a ravage animal waiting to fuck with his lunch. When I was with him, I thought he was the nicest and sweetest man I’d ever met, but obviously I can’t trust anything I think anymore. This whole situation is a twisted up game of “see Luca run” and “I need to get the hell out of here now”. Two Alpha males are in my professional world trying to dictate who I am.
It is true that things can switch without any notice. I am living proof.
“You need to leave or I’m calling security,” I demand.
“You won’t call anyone or I’ll expose you for who you really are. Nothing but a god damned whore.” I’m horrified as he locks his arms around me, caging me in like a trapped animal, but beyond furious that he called me a whore.
“I’m not a whore. You bastard!” I look up, meeting his harsh eyes.
“No? Then what are you?” he questions.
“I’m a business woman. A very good one.” My temper was quickly elevating.
“Yes you are a very good one. The best Lucia. You suck cock like no one else.” His hand grabs ahold of my chin painfully hard. I cry out from the pain he is inflicting on me.
“Camden has been researching over a year for a marketing firm for us. What I want to know is, why you? Why would he want a fraud like this company? And with you, a slut, for its marketing director?” He laughs.
“Leave. I don’t need you or your business,” I say through gritted teeth. This is the first time in the last decade anyone has made me feel like a whore and I’m not stopping him. I’m letting him continue his verbal assault on me. I’m disgusted with myself. I want to go home and scrub my body raw, to erase Heath from my memory. This man is not the man I spent those wonderful moments with in Georgia. He is a gross, disgusting person, who gets his kicks by beating other people down. No wonder he couldn’t find a woman for the weekend. I smile on the inside. I don’t want him to know that I am finding this amusing in any way.
“But you needed my cock, didn’t you? Perhaps you need it again.” Keeping his hold firmly on my face, he moves his other hand down to cup my center, fondling me through my clothes. His touch instantly taints the memories of my weekend with his filth, and then shame, as he moves his fingers up and down my folds, pushing my panties up inside of me. I feel sick.
“I’m going to find out whatever it is you’re hiding and when I do, trust me, I’m going to destroy you.” With that, he lets me go, staring down at me with even more disgust than before.
Fuck him. He isn’t any better than I am. I bend down and yank the chain off of my ankle. It’s difficult to break at first. I tug until it releases. As soon as I feel it break free, I clutch it in my hand, before heaving it at him, hitting him in the chest.
“Fuck you. You lowlife son of a bitch, don’t you ever touch me again. Now get out.” I feel like I’m on repeat with these men, only this time I mean what I’m saying. I want this scum gone from my life. I need to rid my body and my mind of him. He bends at his waist, picking up the anklet, tossing it in the air with a cocky smirk on his face. He circles in the opposite direction of my door, dropping the bracelet in the garbage can on the side of my desk. The clink of the gold, along with all those stunning diamonds has me closing my eyes. No more words are exchanged as he leaves me trembling and wondering if both he and Camden are not the ones who are playing me. And if they are, what the hell do they want?
***
“Twice in one week? Only this time I’m seeing your… What the hell happened?” Lola screeches. I skyped her the moment I walked through the door into my home. The minute Heath left, I called Mitch and Leo into my office, filling Leo in on everything. He made a few wise ass remarks about my escorting that had me laughing, until I told them both about Heath threatening me. The three of us agreed we do not need their business. However, we still need to tread lightly, even with Camden. I tried to explain to both of them I trust Camden; that this is not only my life, but theirs as well and I will not let it go to hell. They both have been faithful, loyal friends for years – I will not do anything to betray them. Then, I called Colin, giving him the night off after Leo demanded he was driving me home.
And now, here I am, crying out of control at the mess my life has become.
“Luca, what happened?” I drop my head with a heavy sigh, trying to regain my composure.
“Lola, for the first time in years I feel like I don’t know who I am. Like a ghost has awakened inside of me. One I had no clue was even there. I’m tired, frustrated, scared, and helpless.”
“Talk to me. What happened?”
And I do. I fill her in on the day’s events. I even tell her all about Heath and I mean all of it. “Well, damn, Luca,” she mutters when I finish my story. After a pause, she continues, “Listen, the Luca I know would never let a man control her. You need to own this shit. Own yourself with both of these men. Camden is right about you and that ring. You know it as well as I do.
“Now, I don’t know him at all, but I do know you and there is no way in hell you would give up anything for anyone if you didn’t trust them. So, you keep your mouth shut about Heath. You let Mitch and Leo deal with him. You know they can handle him. You take some time off of work for you, and I don’t mean time off like those weekend trips you take. I mean time off to get out and have some fun. If you have tons of great sex, great, call it an added bonus. But do something different, damn it. No contracts. No strings. Let loose and soar. Camden’s a pilot with his own plane. Go somewhere together. Your team can take care of Divider. Hell, as organized as you are the damn company could run itself.” Maybe she’s right. The thought of leaving all this behind even for a few days might be what I need.
“Your right,” I say on a whim.
“Repeat, please?” Lola croons in a poorly fake English accent, making me smile rather easily.
“You heard me.”
“Yeah, what the fuck ever. Seriously though, Luca. Your nice little tidy life is on one of those roller coasters that feels like it will never end, but so what. Fuck ‘em, girl. And I don’t mean literally. Take that cold iron heart of yours and make it the hot melting point of your body. Open the damn thing up and let yourself be suffocated with other things besides jewelry and designer dresses and shoes.” Her head is bobbing up and down as if she has all the answers in the world, and in this moment, she does. She has my answers.
I cannot promise her I will be able to take my mind off of the things I’m so used to receiving. I can however try. That’s what I do after I disconnect my session with her. I will try. I just pray to god my gut is steering me right, because if Camden is out to destroy me like my intuition is telling me Heath is, I may never recover. I only hope that during these few days I take off the guys can figure out what exactly Heath has up his sleeve, while playing nice with their charismatic wit and charm. The man is way too smart for his own good. Any slip up and he will be onto them, but I trust them to be able to fix this.
I need to stop thinking about the cluster that is Heath and focus on Camden and what he expects out of me, except, nothing will feel right again until I know why Heath is so dead set on destroying me.
***
“Oh, Annie. What would I ever do without you? I owe you big.” I’m not even the slightest bit embarrassed that I called her in a pinch about what to make for dinner tonight. Thank god Annie is full of ideas when it comes to cooking, unlike me.
“Not a problem, but could you tell me why Mitch and Leo are huddled in the boardroom like two dumb ass wanna-be football players?” I look down at my phone, resting on my counter, just to make sure it really is Annie I’m talking to. She sounds distraught. My dear friend feels left out.
“I’m sure they are going over all the contracts, on top of taking over my schedule for the rest of the week, Annie. Or who knows with those two. Maybe they really are strategically planning out their fantasy football thing-a-ma-jig they do,” I tell her, trying to make her laugh or at least smile.
“Whatever you say, Luca It’s your company.”
Her abruptness stops me mid-step in my kitchen. “I’m sorry, Annie. What is it you would like to know?” Annie is one of my best friends. I understand completely where she is coming from. I would feel the same way as she does, but she doesn’t have to act like a bitch about it.
“You can fill me in when you return. Enjoy your pizza.” She hangs up before I can say anything else.
I feel so guilty. I should explain everything to her. I just don’t want to do it over the damn phone and she was so abrupt in leaving yesterday. I sigh, bringing down the second wine glass I was reaching for. My thoughts are trained on Camden and the fact that he should be here within the hour. My stomach grumbles when I think of the Chicago style pizzeria right up the street. Perfect for a night in.
I look down at the jeans I have on, my APO custom designed fit dark wash. The most comfortable pair of jeans I own. Ones I very rarely wear. In fact, I have dozens of pairs of jeans I never wear. Dozens of old sweatshirts too, just like the NYU one I have on now. It’s the very first one I bought, the same one I had on when I met Camden.
“Oh shit.” I scramble around the island in my kitchen toward my bedroom. I don’t want to wear this. What if he remembers? I cease halfway to my room when the doorbell rings. My head swinging back and forth, trying to decide if I should make a run for it to change or answer the door. When it rings again, I have no choice but to run to the door. When I open it, I’m winded from the small run, plus the anxiety that creeps its way back into my mind – the same anxiety I had the night before. I had tossed and turned from a restless night’s sleep, picking at my fingernails which I had to go and have redone earlier in the day. All of that worry squanders away when I see the man standing at my door, holding a small bouquet of tiny white and pink roses.
