Текст книги "Accidentally, Love"

Автор книги: Kate Harper

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Accidentally, Yours

Kate Harper

Chapter One

One night in August at Almack’s…

‘My dear Miss Hathaway,’ the Earl of Allingham murmured, staring down into Audrey’s eyes. ‘As ever, you are looking exquisite tonight!’

Audrey smiled up at Roderick Allingham, eyes alight with laughter. ‘My lord, you always say that. Indeed, if I were to believe everything you say, I would be the most exquisite, the most glorious, the most charming creature in London. And I must tell you, Sir, that I do not believe that to be the case.’

‘And I must tell you, Miss Hathaway, that I think I might know best in this matter,’ he assured her earnestly. ‘I know for a fact that your manners are too well developed to quibble over a gentleman’s honest opinion.’

Audrey laughed and they twirled with the other dancers around the floor. She was having a marvelous night. Indeed, since coming up to London in May, she was having a wonderful Season. Things seemed to be going so well for her family, the past darkness created by the untimely death of her father, now nothing more than a shadow in their lives. Her eldest sister Isabella – married for these past ten months to her beloved Harry – had just announced that she was expecting her first child, an eagerly anticipated event that only added to her already joyous union with Harry Carstairs. And then there was her brother, Marcus, miraculously returned to them – for they had believed him dead – from the brutal war in France. He had been forced to face the cold reality that his fortune and his estate was gone and his father was dead, killed by his own hand after a particularly unfortunate night of gaming. For all of his determination to go forward in his own way Marcus, bless him, after meeting Johanna Claybourn and fate – along with the determined machinations of Johanna herself – had redesigned his destiny. He had been elevated from a depressingly genteel poverty by marriage to the rich, beautiful heiress from Yorkshire. It had been inadvertent, that meeting, for Audrey knew that her brother had not gone off to find love but the entire thing had been quite remarkably fortuitous and they all liked Johanna very much. Of course, poor Marcus would be kept on his toes, trying to keep his headstrong wife out of mischief, but in its own way, that was a good thing for it gave him little opportunity to think about the trials he had experienced in France and made him focus instead on his future.

Two of the Hathaway children have found the most perfect happiness, she mused as she was guided into another graceful spin that made the satin skirts of her green gown flare and flutter. Now there is only Millie and me to sort out and Millie is still too young to worry about. Although she was sure that, when the time came, they would be worrying about Millicent, the most eccentric of the Hathaway children and the least inclined to accept the strictures of Society. But as Mama said, Millie was a bridge to be crossed when they came to it.

She glanced up at Allingham again, wondering if this was the man who would make her glow in the same manner Isabella and Marcus were glowing. For there was no doubt each of her siblings seemed to have discovered something very special since they had met their matches. Isabella had once described it as finding the other half of herself, a part she had not known she was missing. In fact, it wasn’t until she had fallen in love with Harry that she’d even known there was another half to be found. It had been, her sister had confessed, the most remarkable revelation.

Audrey had pondered the idea that each person might have another half, waiting out there for them. Was it really true or had Isabella and Marcus just been extraordinarily lucky? It all sounded very mysterious and wonderful but she suspected that they were the exception, rather than the rule. She had seen too many of her friends settle into marriage after forming connections from their first Season to believe that everybody was so fortunate. It made her realize that the fairytale her brother and sister had found was extremely rare, something that had been reinforced when she had paid a morning call on her friend, Charlotte Bennett, just yesterday. Audrey had been expecting that the girl would still be radiant with the joy of a newly married young lady, having been Mrs. Edmund Bennett for less than five months, but instead of the rosy contentment she had expected, she had discovered that Charlotte did not seem to particularly care for the marriage state – or her husband – in the least. When Audrey had inquired as to the health of Mr. Bennett, Charlotte had given a careless shrug.

‘I suppose he is well enough. I cannot say that I have seen him for several days.’

‘Oh?’ Audrey had been puzzled. ‘But where is he?’

‘At one of his clubs, I expect. He is never home at this time of day.’

‘I see.’ Audrey had studied Charlotte carefully, wondering how much she should say. There had been an air of brittle tension about the girl that was disconcerting. ‘Is that usual, not seeing him for so long a time?’

Charlotte’s lips had twisted a little. ‘Perfectly usual, I can assure you. Why? Did you think he would be here? Most gentlemen do not hover about their wives in such a manner, I can assure you. As you will no doubt discover,’ she added, giving an Audrey an envious look. ‘I hear that Allingham is chasing you. How clever of you to have caught the interest of an earl.’

Audrey had felt her face warming a little. She knew, of course, that every step in the dance leading up to offers and marriage were monitored by the ton, who hung on what alliances were being made with which families but she still found it all very disconcerting.

‘There is nothing certain, I can assure you of, although Lord Allingham is a delightful man.’

‘Oh, pooh! Don’t be so missish, my dear. Allingham is the Season’s catch and all the world knows that he is now in control of his fortune since his birthday and can take any girl he sees fit to wed, which must be dreadfully annoying for his witch of a mother. Naturally, I am delighted that you will be the one that gets him.’ Charlotte didn’t sound particularly delighted. She sounded rather sulky, if the truth be told and Audrey had felt distinctly uncomfortable. Was it just her family that went about the business of marriage with delicacy and sensitivity? Audrey doubted she would ever get used to the intrusive curiosity of people who were practically strangers taking such an avid interest in her affairs.

She had cleared her throat, wondering what to say. ‘Is there some significance in the earl having a birthday?’

Charlotte raised an eyebrow. ‘Really, Audrey dear. If you are to marry the man you should know his history. His brother has held the purse strings until now. Actually, if rumor is to be believed, it is a wonder there is any fortune left. The wicked brother was supposed to have removed a good part of it.’

‘The wicked brother?’ Audrey repeated, bewildered. It had all been news to her.

‘Kirkwood.’ Charlotte gave a slow smile. ‘I have seen him about several times although he does not go into Society much, more’s the pity. A dreadful creature, of course, but gorgeous nevertheless. That sort always are, are they not?’

‘I’m afraid I do not know what you are talking about.’

The girl looked at Audrey for a moment, then shrugged. ‘I think I shall let Allingham tell you his family history. If you are to marry him, it would be a pity to hear it elsewhere.’

‘Is there something I should know?’ Audrey had demanded. ‘Truly Charlotte, I do not know what you mean.’

Charlotte had pursed her lips, annoyingly mysterious. ‘If you marry Allingham you will know, soon enough.’

It had been a very unsatisfactory answer but she had left it. They had chatted for a while longer before Audrey had prepared to take her leave. It had been a far from satisfactory visit. She had hesitated for a moment, but concern had impelled her to ask. ‘Are you all right, Charlotte?’

Charlotte Bennett had made a moue of impatience. ‘Why shouldn’t I be?’

‘It’s just that you seem a little… out of sorts.’

‘I am perfectly well. Tired, of course. There is always such a lot to do that I declare, I am quite exhausted at the end of the day.’

Audrey wondered what a married lady who was in possession of a comfortable household and a large amount of servants found to occupy her to the point of exhaustion. She had discovered after her father had died and they had been forced to retire to a small cottage no more than a mile from Barnstable, their former home, that there was a great deal to do each day to survive. She had joined her mother in the vegetable garden and, as they’d managed with no-one other than their devoted housekeeper and their mother’s equally devoted personal maid, had taken on whatever other household chores needed to be done. It had been an eye-opening experience and one that had given her a new appreciation of all of the services domestic staff performed for their employers. But Edmund Bennett possessed a good income and employed enough people to ensure his lady had nothing to worry about and curiosity had prompted the next question.

‘What is it that keeps you so busy?’

Charlotte had looked at her blankly. ‘Why, there are any number of things. Really, with shopping and attending the endless occasions one is forever being invited to, I swear I can scarcely keep up.’

‘Ah,’ Audrey murmured. ‘I see.’

She had wondered if she should ask if Mr. Bennett accompanied his wife to these numerous soirees but decided it would be an ill-advised question. The state of Charlotte’s marriage was obviously not the same as that of Audrey’s siblings. She was so used to Harry and Isabella spending time together – enjoying spending time together – that she had thought Charlotte would still be glowing with that flush of happiness she had seen in her when they had been discussing the girl’s forthcoming nuptials. Instead, wishing her visit to end on a happy note, she had retreated into the commonplace, a safe topic that was sure not to upset her friend in any way.

‘I must say, that’s a delightful gown, Charlotte. It becomes you very well.’

It had been an excellent tactic for Charlotte had launched forth on the manifest skills of her dressmaker, how she had made a variety of exquisite gowns for a variety of occasions, how she could not wait to go to such-and-such’s assembly or rout or masquerade and show all off her new creations to the world. It had all been said in such a rush of frantic gaiety that Audrey had been taken aback when suddenly, in mid sentence, Charlotte’s face had crumpled and she began to cry. Horrified, Audrey had set down her teacup and had hurried across to perch on the arm of Charlotte’s chair, putting an arm around her shoulders.

‘My dear, whatever is it? What is wrong?’

After a few, breathless, snuffling attempts to control her tears, Charlotte had told her what was wrong. How her marriage was a sham, nothing like she had thought it would be. How she spent so very little time with her husband that he was practically a stranger to her; how he always had somewhere else to be, usually in the company of his friends. How she was sure he was keeping a mistress – a mistress after only five months of marriage! – and, how infrequently they shared a conjugal bed together.

Audrey had been appalled and not just because she had ended up the recipient of so many personal, disturbing revelations. She had seen Charlotte the day before her marriage and the girl had been aglow with happiness, sure that a new, wonderful life was waiting for her just around the corner as she started her journey into the future with a man she loved and who, she was convinced, loved her just as well.

‘But it must have been a sham, don’t you think?’ she had sniffed miserably into a handkerchief. ‘All those pretty words, those protestations of eternal devotion. I had thought Edmund loved me but it must have all been a lie for we were no more than a few weeks married before he began to lose interest.’

‘I’m sure he did love you,’ Audrey had tried to reassure her. ‘That he does love you. Of course he must. He is just… well, gentlemen do spend time at their clubs, do they not? And as for the rest,’ Audrey had not been at all sure what she was supposed to say about the rest of the revelations she had heard. She knew it was commonplace to take a mistress or a lover after marriage – she was not naïve, after all – but it did seem unusually callous so soon after marriage. And she was quite certain she would not want to be married to a man who did so.

Not surprisingly, Charlotte was having none of it. She was already convinced that she had been shamelessly bamboozled by her husband and her resentment was obvious. After a time she appeared to collect herself and once again assumed that rather brittle, hard edge that Audrey had noticed earlier.

‘Oh I am making such a fuss! What will you think of me?’ she’d said, affixing a smile firmly in place that held no genuine warmth whatsoever. ‘As Mama delights in pointing out, I have nothing to complain about, after all. I made a good match of it and my position is hardly unique. Look at poor Letty Hindmarsh, married to a man who, if the rumors are true, beats her regularly. Indeed, her Papa had to intervene now that she is expecting. And Margaret Hartley. Do you remember her, Audrey? She thought she was so lucky, snaring a lord but he took her back to Devon and left her in his moldering ruin of a castle while he returned to London to continue on as if his marriage had never taken place. At least Bennett isn’t inclined to lock me away and he doesn’t beat me.’ The smile faltered for a moment, the misery clear in her eyes. ‘Indeed, I have done very well for myself. The most I have to complain about is that my husband is rarely here. And perhaps that is a good thing. It is impossible to quarrel with a man one never sees.’

It had been a very unpleasant call and Audrey had taken her leave feeling as if she had done very little to comfort Charlotte, for she had had no notion of what to say. It had been an insight into a world she was unfamiliar with, where marriage was no more than a convenient alliance. It seemed that it had been entered into by Edmund Bennett to secure himself an heir, but how unfair to poor Charlotte. It seemed to Audrey that her friend had been duped and she had left Martin Place feeling as if the life she assumed people lived behind their neat, respectable front doors might have nothing to do with the reality of the situation. How many of the unions the girls she had known during her first Season had turned out the way they had dreamed they would? Despite the fact that everybody knew about the cold common sense of the Marriage Mart, she was prepared to wager that most females took on the role of wife with an optimism that was rarely justified. Was marriage merely a conduit to loneliness, which was surely the exact opposite of how it should be? Had Marcus and Isabella been shamming their apparent delight with their partners?

The idea had made her especially vigilant in the company of her brother and sister but it had taken very little time to reassure herself that her siblings’ marriages were exactly what they appeared to be; Audrey was reassured by the sight of four truly happy people who were very much in love. Nobody could counterfeit such contentment. That was what real love was. It made her feel sorrier than ever for poor Charlotte Bennett but all the more determined to discover a similar love for herself. If Isabella and Marcus had found it, surely she could manage to do so as well.

And so it was that she considered Lord Allingham with fresh eyes when he had presented himself before her, asking for a dance. For Charlotte was quite right; Allingham was paying her particular attention and she sensed that a declaration was not far distant. She knew that she was in the very fortunate position of not having to accept his offer if she was not so inclined. Her mother only wanted her happiness and if Audrey took it into her head to refuse such a stellar match, there would be no recriminations.

But would she refuse him? She considered him now as he swept her around the dance floor. In his favor, he certainly danced very well. And there were any number of other positives.

He had an excellent sense of style.

Hi manner and address were impeccable.

And he was considered to be very good-looking, something that was not to be sneered at, given that half the young gentlemen in London seemed to have been born without chins, or very little hair (so sad, in a young gentleman) or had enormous Adam’s apples that moved about in the most disconcerting way.

Allingham had a satisfactory amount of brown hair that was always modishly arranged in the latest fashion. He did not affect the more extreme styles favored by those young gentlemen who considered themselves in the first stare of fashion, something she had reason to be grateful for as it was difficult to take ridiculously high shirt collars and exotically patterned waistcoats seriously. She also knew that her mother liked him very much and considered him an excellent match. And there was no denying that Audrey enjoyed his company for he had a rather shy sense of humor and was interested in any number of subjects she found fascinating, including a love of poetry. One did not want to spend the rest of one’s life with a man one would have no conversation with, after all.

But there were other things to be considered. Truthfully, she did not know him very well for there had been little opportunity to spend time together. It seemed quite nonsensical that a couple usually learned about each other after they were wed. A little knowledge before the marriage might save considerable heartbreak later.

Audrey did not want to end up like Charlotte and she had to wonder if what she did know about Allingham was enough. She liked what she knew of the man but she had yet to meet his sister, Constance, for Lady Greely had not come to town for the Season, having been widowed some months before. Although, if rumor was to be believed the loss of Lord Greely was most fortuitous for the man had apparently been a loose fish. Allingham had briefly touched upon his sister’s situation, dwelling more on the fact that she had a young son who had yet to reach his first birthday rather than the fact that Lady Greely had undergone a tragedy. It might be expected that her mother would be with her but Lady Allingham was very much present in London. On the two occasions that Audrey had met the woman she had found her distantly polite, which was hardly encouraging.

Allingham had certainly not mentioned a brother, wicked or otherwise and Audrey had to wonder if Charlotte had the right of it for how could there be? If there were such a creature, then he would be younger than Allingham and she could see no reason why he would have control of the family fortune.

No, clearly there was a great deal more to learn about the earl. Perhaps, she reasoned, it was too soon to be contemplating offers of marriage? She might suggest that she meet more of his family first and get to know them a little better? Actually, when she thought about it she realized he had been a little reticent on the subject of his family and she was keen to know more. She was keen to spend more time with Allingham, as well for she wished to give them both an opportunity to fall in love. The earl was quite delightful but she knew that she was not in love with him as yet, although she felt as if she might be on the brink. She didn’t want to stay on the brink, however. She wanted to fall headfirst into love, to have the world  stop for a moment when the man she had given her heart to entered the room. She wanted to feel as if he were the only man in the world and that she was the only woman that mattered. She wanted love; breathtaking, earth-shaking and utterly magical.

She suspected such ambitions might be ridiculous. Indeed, she knew that they were quite fanciful but it did not stop her from wanting the experience, no matter how unlikely it might be. The question was, could she find it with Allingham? None of the much-anticipated experiences had occurred as yet and it was making her hesitate. The idea of marriage to Roderick Allingham was quite thrilling but at the same time it was increasingly unsettling for if he did make an offer for her, what would she say? She knew what she should say. A girl would be a fool to refuse a good-looking earl who was financially solvent and in possession of all his wits. And he truly seemed to like her. There was a look in his blue eyes when he regarded her that convinced her this was not some fleeting fancy. The warmth she saw there was no figment of her imagination and it was gratifying to know that she was capable of inspiring such fervent admiration.

But it didn’t help her to decide what she should do when the time came to give him an answer.

It is all the fault of Marcus and Isabella, she thought wryly. That and those wretched romantic poets!

When the dance was over, Lord Allingham returned her to her small party and went in search of lemonade, for it was warm and the dancing had made Audrey even warmer. Lady Hathaway gave her daughter a look of gentle inquiry when he had disappeared into the crowd.

‘The two of you look very well together, my dear.’

It was her mother’s subtle way of asking a question that Audrey was sure was hovering on everybody’s lips. ‘Lord Allingham is a very good dancer,’ she observed demurely.

‘Good enough?’ Isabella asked, dark blue eyes inquiring.

Audrey hesitated, then shrugged. She so wanted him to be the one. Lord Allingham was such a perfect gentleman. ‘Perhaps. I cannot be sure but I believe he might be. Certainly, I would like to discover more.’

‘As long as you are happy, my dear,’ Eliza Hathaway said with a smile, then more shrewdly. ‘There is no rush, you know.’

Her mother was telling her that she, at least, did not have to hurry into marriage. With two of her children having made extremely advantageous matches, the fortunes of the Hathaways had gone from being in a sorry state to remarkably robust. Audrey could please herself in her choice of suitor and had no need to choose anybody, if she did not feel ready to do so. It was a luxury rarely enjoyed by girls in her situation. Even those with excellent dowries were expected to hurry into marriage as soon as a likely offer came along, for what should a woman want more than a husband? Audrey understood the sentiment behind such thoughts, although she doubted very much that Millie would agree.

‘It’s true,’ Isabella gave her an impertinent grin. ‘After my noble sacrifice of marrying Harry and Marcus’ equally noble venture into the marital state, you are at liberty to take your pick. The possibilities are endless. An impoverished music master or aspiring poet… why even a footman would do, I daresay, if one were to take your fancy. We could probably train him up quite nicely, as long as he has the shoulders to carry off a set of evening clothes,’ she added, eyeing a particularly plump gentleman that had somehow managed to squeeze his ample proportions into a pair of satin half breeches.

‘Now Isabella,’ Lady Hathaway chided, although her lips twitched. ‘I see no need to be silly about it.’

‘Of course,’ Isabella continued on cheerfully, ‘if Audrey does opt for a wealthy earl, then we can depend upon Millie to marry scandalously. Not that I doubt for a moment that she will do so. I foresee an interesting life for our youngest sister.’

‘Don’t we all,’ their mother sighed. ‘I only hope that my nerves are up to it.’

Audrey laughed. ‘We shall all be reaching for the hartshorn before Millie is settled, I think. And I thank you for your encouragement in the subject of a likely husband, Belle. I will endeavor to locate an appropriately moribund poet. Not a footman, I think,’ she added. ‘The poor man would quite likely not enjoy the experience in the least.’

The subject was dropped when Lord Allingham returned, bringing with him a footman who carried not one, but three glasses of lemonade on a salver, which his lordship presented to Audrey, Isabella and Lady Allingham with a bow.

‘Very nice,’ Isabella said appreciatively as she took a sip. It was really quite warm in the ballroom, the press of bodies exacerbating the summer heat. Many ladies were employing their fans to cool their flushed skin. ‘What charming manners you have, my dear Lord Allingham.’

‘I am humbled that you think so, Mrs. Carstairs,’ he returned gravely. ‘Your good opinion is something I treasure.’

Isabella dimpled at this. ‘Is it indeed? And why is that, do you suppose? Is it because you are trying very hard to make a good impression?’

These questions had the effect of throwing poor Allingham into some confusion and Audrey patted his arm soothingly. ‘Pay her no mind, Sir. She is forever teasing. Indeed, I am afraid my sister has not a very serious outlook on life. It has been a great trial to us all, I can assure you.’

‘Has it indeed?’ Isabella returned, but without rancor. ‘Well you can rest assured that my sister is very serious. One only has to hear her on the subject of Lord Byron or any of the romantic poets to know that she has a very philosophical outlook on life.’

Audrey gave her sister a quelling look. ‘I have read the romantics,’ she agreed sweetly. ‘Don’t you recall how you pressed me to do so and offered me your own copies of Lord Byron’s works?’

Lord Allingham smiled at the pair and opened his mouth to reply but nothing emerged from his mouth. Indeed, his entire expression changed and he suddenly seemed to go very still. They watched the smile disappear off his face, to be replaced by an expression of angry disbelief. He had been looking towards Isabella but his eyes had gone past her to focus on something – or somebody – behind her. So extraordinary was that glance that all three ladies turned to look in the same direction and saw a tall, rather rakish figure strolling towards them. He was dressed in immaculate evening clothes that sat very well on his long, lean frame but there was something in the loose-limbed way he carried himself that suggested that the man was not the usual domestic animal to be found among the glittering crowds of Almack’s. Indeed, Audrey was reminded of a large feline, the kind that stalked through the veldt as it hunted its prey with ruthless determination and she shivered a little. The newcomer was dark, a little saturnine in fact, and as he drew nearer she saw that there was a twist to that well cut, full-lipped mouth that suggested that he thought very little of his surroundings.

Extraordinarily, considering none of the ladies present knew him, he came to a stop several feet away and made the group a mocking little bow.

‘Kirkwood,’ Lord Allingham muttered, causing all three of the ladies to turn their attention back to him. ‘What the… what are you doing here? I didn’t even know you were back in England.’

The man raised a long eyebrow. ‘Really, Roddy? I would have assumed you would have been expecting me. You’ve turned three and twenty, after all.’

His lordship flushed a little. ‘I was not… that is to say -’ the earl broke off, apparently remembering that he was the focus of three pairs of interested eyes. He turned and looked at Audrey, obviously trying to master himself and his obvious shock at seeing the new arrival. He managed a smile. ‘Forgive me, Miss Hathaway. I must excuse myself.’

‘Oh now,’ the man drawled, his heavily lidded black eyes sliding appreciatively over Isabella and Audrey in turn. There was an inappropriate amount of interest in that look that he didn’t even begin to disguise. ‘I did not mean to interrupt your party. Aren’t you going to introduce me?’

‘No,’ Lord Allingham said from between what sounded like tightly clenched teeth. ‘I am not. If you will excuse us, ladies -’

‘I am Kirkwood, Lord Allingham’s brother,’ the gentleman continued on, ignoring the earl entirely. ‘May I have the pleasure of an introduction?’

Audrey blinked, taken aback. So this was the wicked brother, the man who had been in charge of the Allingham fortune. He certainly did not resemble his sibling in any way. On the contrary, he looked decidedly exotic. The man standing before them did not look like a younger brother, either. Audrey would have put him in his late twenties, surely a few years older than Lord Allingham himself who, as had just been mentioned, had turned three and twenty only the week before.

Perhaps he is the black sheep, she reflected, eyeing him with interested curiosity, aged by dissolution. He certainly looked like he knew a thing or two about sin. The announcement of his identity had left an unpleasant little void behind it. Not unexpectedly, Lady Hathaway stepped in to fill the awkward silence when it seemed that Lord Allingham had been overcome with a sudden paralysis.

‘How do you do, Mr. Kirkwood. I am Lady Hathaway. Please allow me to introduce you to my daughters; Mrs. Carstairs and Miss Hathaway.’

Both Isabella and Audrey gave him a curtsey. He offered a bow to each in turn and Audrey found herself once again being scrutinized far more closely than must be considered proper. By now she was used to seeing interest in the eyes of other men but the expression that glowed in Mr. Kirkwood’s dark eyes was a great deal less respectable than she was used to. He was a great deal less respectable, she amended silently and she unconsciously raised her chin and gave him a cool look in return. Obviously he had not inherited his brother’s affability or delightful manners. On the contrary, the reprobate before them seemed to embody the kind of man one’s anxious parents specifically warned a girl to stay away from.

‘Miss Hathaway. Do you know, I believe I have heard your name only recently in connection with my brother.’

‘Indeed, Sir?’ Audrey replied warily. She did not quite trust this man to behave as he ought and from the restless way Lord Allingham stirred, neither did he. It was nothing more than instinct, but there was something about Mr. Kirkwood that told her he was a man used to pleasing himself, not Society.