Текст книги "Elusive Love"

Автор книги: K. A. Robinson

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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 12 страниц)

Apparently, I was throwing caution to the wind. Picking him up would either be really good for me or catastrophic if it ended with Joey learning the truth. Either way, I wasn’t going to back out now. It seemed I was taking all kinds of risks today.

Caley Sanders, the daredevil.

It had a nice ring to it.

When I pulled up outside a small white house, I saw Ethan sitting on his porch, smoking a cigarette. He stood and stomped it out before walking over to where my car was parked. He opened the door and climbed inside with a wide grin. I took a moment to look him over, surprised at just how much he’d changed since the last time I laid eyes on him. The photos I’d glanced at online didn’t do him justice. He was far more attractive than I’d remembered.

“You know, I never expected that you’d actually show up when I suggested you come pick me up,” Ethan said in greeting.

I checked to make sure there was no traffic before pulling back onto the road. “Honestly, I thought it was a bad idea when you suggested it.”

Ethan laughed. “Then, why did you come get me?”

I kept my eyes on the road, debating on what to say. “I guess I was just lonely.”

He was quiet for a moment before speaking again, “You were so lonely that you came to pick up a guy you hadn’t seen since you graduated from high school years ago?”

“I guess I was,” I mumbled as I made a right turn onto a less traveled road. I didn’t want to push my luck by driving right through the main part of town. I might be a fool for deciding to see Ethan in person, but I wasn’t a complete moron.

“Turn right up here,” Ethan said suddenly.

I curiously glanced over at him before turning as he had instructed. “Why am I going this way? I’m not even sure if this is a road or not. It might just be someone’s driveway.”

“It’s a road, I promise. I used to go fishing at a pond up through here. A pull-off spot is coming up. Pull over there.”

“Why?” I asked cautiously.

“Because I think you need someone to vent to, and it’s kind of hard to have that kind of conversation while you’re driving. I’d rather you get it all out of your system at once instead of trying to focus on both the road and what you’re saying.”

I pursed my lips but didn’t respond. Ethan had a point about my need to vent, so when I saw the pull-over spot, I turned the wheel, leaving the blacktop. Once I was off the road, I put my car in park and shut it off.

We were completely surrounded by trees, no trace of human life anywhere near us. The sun was starting to sink below the horizon. I suddenly felt uneasy about being so totally alone with Ethan. It wasn’t just the fact that I hadn’t seen him in so long, but it also felt wrong to be alone with a man who wasn’t my husband.

“So, do you want to vent or not?” Ethan asked. “Or we can just sit here in silence until you’re ready to go home. I’m good with either option.”

I looked over at him. “A man who is willing to talk about emotions and stuff? You’re full of surprises.”

He shrugged. “I call bullshit on that whole men-don’t-talk-about-feelings crap.”

“I couldn’t tell you the last time Joey actually sat down and listened when I tried to talk to him about my feelings,” I said.

“Then, he’s a fool. No marriage—hell, no relationship can last without communication,” Ethan said.

“I wish he would realize that. The only communication we have is during our daily fights. Let me just say, there’s not a lot of good communication going on during those.”

Ethan frowned. “Why don’t you start at the beginning and tell me what’s been going on between the two of you? I know you’ve been with him for a long time. You were with him back when we first met. You seemed so happy with him then.”

“I was happy,” I said sadly. “I was in love—or at least, I was in love with the idea of love. Until Joey, no guy had paid me a bit of attention. I’d thought something was wrong with me, and then Joey came along. He spoke to me and paid attention to what I had to say. He told me how pretty I was and made sure that we always spent time together. He made me feel important, like I was worth someone’s attention.”

“I never realized what a low opinion you had of yourself,” Ethan said.

I stared at him, shocked by his words. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You needed Joey’s attention to feel validated. You’re a pretty girl, Caley, and you’re one of the smartest girls I’ve ever met. You shouldn’t feel the way you do about yourself.”

“I hate myself,” I told him, surprised that I was being so honest. “I hate the way I look, and I hate the way things have turned out in my life. I wish I could be smarter, prettier, and just overall better.”

“Low self-esteem is something a lot of girls have. I’ve never understood why,” he said, like it was a fact, no condescension in his tone.

I shrugged. “I’ve always felt this way. Joey dulled the hate for a while, but now that things are so horrid between us, it’s come back tenfold.”

“What happened to you guys?” he asked.

“Life,” I told him. “We grew up. Neither of us are the same people we were when we were in high school. We are two totally different people. If I say blue, he says orange. If I want one kind of food, he wants another. We fight over everything, and it breaks my heart. At first, it was just over little things, but then the little things turned into bigger things. Now, we’re at the point where everything is just one big battle.”

“I can’t help but ask, if you two fight so much, why did you have a child together?”

“Things improved for a while. We go through cycles. We bicker for a few months, and then we wage all-out war against each other for a few months. Then, we get along for a while before it starts all over again.

“When I found out I was pregnant with Amelia, we were in a good place. By the time I had her, it was war again. She settled us for a few months, but now, we’re right back to despising each other. The only time we don’t fight is when I’m drinking. He’s too busy helping me get drunk to disagree with me.”

“Wait, why does he help you get drunk?” Ethan asked, stupefied.

“Because he gets laid when I’m drunk. It’s the only time I want to touch him,” I said bluntly.

“Oh, wow,” he mumbled.

I chuckled. “God, I can’t believe I’m telling you all of this. I don’t even know you anymore.”

Ethan grinned, and for some strange reason, I felt my heart flutter in my chest.

“You’ve never really known me, Caley. We were friends before, but we weren’t best friends or even super close.”

“Then, why in the world am I sitting in a car with you in the middle of nowhere, telling you all my marital problems?”

“I just have that kind of face?” he joked.

“Maybe,” I said. I paused for a moment. “I trust you, Ethan. I don’t know why, but I do. I’ve needed someone like you, a friend—or maybe confidant is a better word—for a really long time. I’ve felt so alone.”

He reached over and grasped my arm, surprising me. “I can be whatever you need me to be. I’m here for you.”

“Thanks,” I whispered. “That means a lot.”

He released my arm and smiled over at me. “I never realized how much I missed talking with you until you messaged me the other night. We used to get along really well back when I was with Andrea. I hated how you started ignoring me after she’d broken up with me.”

“I didn’t ignore you!” I said, my words sounding harsher than I had intended. “We were getting ready to graduate and leave our high school friends behind. I knew I would probably never see you again, so I didn’t try to hang on to a doomed friendship. Plus, Joey hated when I spoke to the few male friends I had. I didn’t want to start an argument with him.”

“So, he was a controlling dick even back then?” Ethan said.

“Yeah, I guess he was. He just wasn’t so harsh about it when I was still in high school. He certainly doesn’t try to hide his controlling side now though.”

“What do you mean?”

I chewed on my lip for a moment. I knew that Joey’s words would sound twice as harsh coming from me. “He likes order in everything but especially with me. For example, I gained weight while I was pregnant with Amelia. He decided I needed to lose it, so he tossed out all the junk food in our house and put me on a diet.”

Ethan’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You’re joking.”

“I’m not, but I wish I were. It’s not only me that he likes to control. Our house has to be spotless at all times, or there will be hell to pay.”

“Yeah, he really is a dick,” Ethan muttered. “And regarding the weight issue, you look fine to me. I definitely wouldn’t consider you fat. At least now I understand where some of your self-esteem issues come from.”

“Huh?” I asked.

“You seem to think so little of yourself. You might have felt that way before him, but I’m sure he has made it ten times worse by telling you that you need to lose weight. Come on, Caley. You just had a kid. Sure, some women bounce right back, but most end up with a little weight leftover. My sister was a twig before she got pregnant. It took her a year or two to get back to where she was. It’s not a big deal.”

“Tell him that,” I said bitterly.

“Oh, I would if you’d let me. I’ve never met him, but from what little you’ve told me, he sounds like a jackass. It’s no wonder you’re so unhappy.”

Fear zipped through my body as I venomously shook my head. “No. You can never tell him anything if you two were to ever meet. Please, Ethan, promise me that whatever I tell you will stay between us.”

“Calm down. I won’t say anything to him—ever. I wouldn’t do that to you, not when you’ve put your trust in me like this.”

I relaxed a bit at his words. “Thank you. If he ever found out I had talked to you about all of this…I have no idea what he would do, but I do know it wouldn’t be good.”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand why you take this abuse, Caley. You’re so much better than this.”

“I made a vow to stay with him, for better or for worse. I have a child with him, a child who did not ask to be brought into this kind of life, and she will not suffer for my mistakes.”

“Did you ever think that staying with him might cause more harm than good?” Ethan asked.

“Of course it won’t. She’ll be raised in a home with both of her parents. She’ll know she’s loved.”

“She’ll grow up in a home surrounded by fighting and tension. If things are as bad as you say, there’s no way that she won’t notice it when she’s older. Both of you can love her from separate homes. It might even be better for her that way.”

I shook my head. “When she’s older, I’ll make sure the fighting stops.”

“How can you possibly make that happen?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll figure out a way. Maybe if I start agreeing to everything he says or wants, then things will go smoother.”

He frowned. “That’s weak, Caley, and you know it.”

“I’ll make it happen somehow. I just need time to figure it out.”

Speaking of time, I glanced down at my phone and let out a little shriek.

“What?” Ethan demanded.

“Shit. I was supposed to be home ten minutes ago!” I shouted as I started the car.

I turned it around, and I was speeding back down the narrow blacktop before Ethan could respond.

“Jesus Christ, woman, slow down!” He gripped the dashboard.

“I can’t! I still have to drop you off and then get home. He’s going to be furious. He told me no more than an hour.”

I was shaking with fear and nerves. I knew without a doubt that Joey would be livid by the time I arrived home. I could already envision the fight that was sure to occur.

As if on cue, my phone beeped with a voice mail. I’d had no service where we were parked, so it was hard to tell when Joey had left the message. I knew it had to be him. No one else called me anymore besides my parents, and they never left messages.

I picked up my phone and unlocked the screen. It took every ounce of willpower I possessed to click on the message and listen to it. I wished I hadn’t as soon as it started playing.

“Where the fuck are you, Caley? It’s been an hour, and you’re still not home. Now, you’re not even answering the fucking phone. I told you, one goddamn hour, and that was it. You’d better get your ass home now, or I swear, I’ll deadbolt the door and you’ll be locked out!”

Tears gathered in my eyes as the message ended. He’d sounded pissed when he left the message, and that was ten minutes ago. By the time I made it home, he would be even more upset.

Suddenly, Ethan jerked my phone out of my hand. I watched in horror as he pressed Play and listened to the message. As he listened to Joey’s shouted words, the look of disbelief on his face quickly turned to one of anger.

“Fucking bastard!” Ethan said as he tossed my phone into the center console. “Nasty fucking piece of work. How the hell do you put up with that?”

I ignored him as I turned onto his street. When I reached his house, I pulled over and waited for him to get out.

“Caley, are you okay?” he asked, his voice much calmer.

I shook my head. “Please just go. I need to get home.”

“Every part of me is screaming not to let you go face him alone. Is he always like that?”

“Sometimes, he is. Then, other times, he’s fine.” I impatiently tapped the steering wheel. “It doesn’t even matter right now. Please get out. I’ve got to get home.”

Ethan shook his head as he opened the door. “If he lays a finger on you, you call me. I mean it. I won’t let him hurt you.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, knowing I would be anything but. Once our fight started, fine wouldn’t be a word I could use to describe myself.

Ethan climbed out and closed the door behind him. I waved once before quickly pulling away from his house.

I drove like a madwoman all the way home, cutting the fifteen-minute drive down to ten. I was still shaking when I pulled into the parking lot and shut off my car. Praying that Joey wouldn’t be angry, I climbed out of the car and all but ran up to our apartment.

When I opened the door, Joey was sitting on the couch with Amelia playing on the floor in front of him. I was relieved to see that she wasn’t crying.

“Where have you been?” he demanded as soon as the door shut.

“I told you, I was driving around.”

“Why the hell didn’t you answer your phone?” His voice was barely controlled.

“I took back roads, and I lost service. When I realized my hour was up, I turned around and came back home.”

“I told you, an hour, Caley! It’s been an hour and a half. It’s bullshit that you lied to me and stayed out longer than we’d agreed to.”

“I’m sorry!” I said, not really meaning the words, only saying them in hopes of placating him.

“Sorry isn’t good enough!” he shouted.

Amelia stopped playing with her toys and looked up at Joey. Her face turned downward into a frown before she burst into tears.

“Now see what you’ve done?” I said as I hurried over to her. I scooped her up into my arms and held her close, whispering soothing words into her ear.

“What I’ve done? I wouldn’t have been this pissed if you had kept your end of the deal!” Joey shouted as he jumped to his feet. “You know what? Screw you, Caley. I’m out of here.”

I watched as he stormed across the room and opened the front door. When he slammed it shut behind him, I winced at the sound, and Amelia’s crying intensified. It took me several minutes to get her to calm down. By then, Joey had been long gone. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved. Having him storm out of our apartment was a much better option than him sticking around to yell at me over and over again.

Still, I couldn’t stop the tears from running down my cheeks. In that moment, I hated him so much. I hated myself, too.

Ethan was right. I was weak. I knew I was, but that didn’t mean I would ever be able to do anything about it.

The next morning, I was able to leave Amelia with my mother. Amelia usually spent the days at my parents’, but her teething was so bad that I had decided to stay home with her.

Normally, I dreaded going to work in the mornings. I considered any time before noon an unreasonable time to be conscious. But after days of being trapped at home with a screaming baby, I’d practically skipped out of the house that morning.

I spent the morning catching up on paperwork I’d missed when I was off. I loved my dad, but paperwork wasn’t one of his strong suits. Once that was finished, I focused on stocking the shelves in the parts room and the floor room. I was checking inventory in the back when a message from Ethan popped up on my phone.

Everything okay?

I checked to make sure no one was nearby before I responded.

Yep.

How was he last night?

Pissed, but it wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. He yelled for a little bit, but then he took off. He didn’t come home until after Amelia and I were in bed. He didn’t talk to me then or even this morning.

I was worried about you. I almost texted, but I was afraid he might see it. I didn’t want to cause you more problems.

I’m sorry I didn’t let you know that things were okay. I was busy with Amelia all evening.

It’s okay. Just glad you’re okay.

I smiled down at my phone, touched that he’d been so worried about me.

Thanks for being such a good friend and for worrying about me. I know I dropped a lot of personal shit on your lap yesterday. I appreciate the fact that you didn’t run away, screaming.

No problem. I meant what I said last night. If you need anything from me, all you have to do is ask.

I know. Again, thank you. I need to get back to work, but I’ll talk to you later, okay?

Sure. I’ll talk to you soon.

I shoved my phone back into my pocket and resumed working on stocking inventory, a smile lingering on my face. Ethan was helping me more than he could ever realize. He was making my days brighter just by taking the time to check on me and even carry on a conversation with me. It was strange how happy I could feel when I spoke with him. For the first time in a long time, I felt almost human again.

For the next few weeks, Ethan and I fell into a routine. We would text back and forth throughout the day while we were at work. Once I made it home, we would text if Joey wasn’t paying attention to me, which was most of the time. On the random evenings when he decided I was worthy of his attention, I would text the word red to Ethan, and he’d know it wasn’t safe to talk.

I felt a twinge of guilt over the fact that I was sneaking around behind Joey’s back, but I pushed it aside. Rekindling my friendship with Ethan brought me far more joy than I had ever experienced, and I was unwilling to let it go even if that meant hiding it from Joey. I knew he’d never understand why I’d suddenly decided to start talking to Ethan again. If Joey knew just how often Ethan and I messaged each other, Joey would force me to stop. There was no way I would let that happen.

I’d been learning a lot about Ethan. Most of the things we messaged about were insignificant, but I clung to every bit of information he had given me. He had been opening up to me, showing me who he really was.

Some days, we’d talk about Joey, usually after a particularly bad fight. Other days, we’d never mention him. It was strange to show so much of myself to someone, but I trusted Ethan more than I trusted anyone else. It was funny to think that, only a few weeks before, I hadn’t spoken to him at all. It seemed he had wormed his way into my life with almost no effort at all. Our friendship was as easy as breathing.

Amelia’s teething pains had finally subsided, and that had also brought me great relief. My now seven-month-old baby girl was back to her happy self. I’d spend my evenings playing with her on the living room floor, or we’d go out for a walk. Pushing her in her stroller, I would follow the sidewalks around town. I’d told Joey I needed the exercise, but that was only half the truth. I used our walks as a way to escape our home life. In a way, it helped both of us. It seemed the less we were around each other, the less we’d fight.

After a particularly calm week, I came home from work on a Friday evening to find Joey packing a bag.

“What are you doing?” I blurted out as soon as I saw him.

He glanced up at me before turning his attention back to the bag in front of him. “Work asked for volunteers to head out of state for a few days to help another crew on a job. They offered double the pay, so I volunteered.”

“Oh,” I said, surprised at the sudden disappointment I felt. For a brief moment, I had thought that maybe he had decided to leave me. My disappointment turned to shame. What kind of person was I to feel disappointment over the fact that my husband was not leaving me?

“When will you be back?” I asked.

“Probably on Monday evening. I’ll text you once I know for sure.” He zipped up his bag and walked over to where I was standing.

Without a word, he took Amelia from my arms and kissed her forehead. He softly whispered something in her ear before handing her back to me.

“You’ll be okay with her all weekend, won’t you?” He grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder.

“What do you mean?”

He shifted uncomfortably in front of me. “I don’t want to start a fight before I leave, but you know what I mean.”

I raised an eyebrow. “No, I really don’t have a clue.”

He sighed. “The drinking. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve noticed that you haven’t been doing it nearly as much these last few weeks, but you haven’t stopped completely.”

“You think I would drink while I was watching Amelia on my own?” I demanded.

“I doubt if you would, but I had to bring it up. I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

“I’m her mother, Joey. I wouldn’t do anything at all to put her in danger. If it’ll make you feel better, you’re more than welcome to take all the alcohol in the house with you.”

I was raging on the inside, barely able to control the anger.

“I had to ask, Caley. Don’t make it out so that I look like an ass.” He started walking to the door, but he stopped and turned back to face me. “I’ll text you when I know what time I’ll be home.”

He surprised me when he reached out and pulled both Amelia and me to him. He hugged us before stepping back. “I love you both. I hope you know that.”

I watched in disbelief as he walked out of our bedroom and down the hallway before disappearing from sight. A few seconds later, I heard the front door open and close. Then, he was gone, leaving me more than just a little confused.

Joey had been mostly silent over the last few days. We hadn’t fought, but we hadn’t exactly been friendly either. The fact that he’d hugged me, that he’d said he loved me, shocked me to my very core. I couldn’t think of the last time he’d uttered those words to me. I had assumed he felt the same way I did—trapped. If he’d truly meant those words….well, that could change everything.

I shook my head. I would never understand that man.

What are you doing?

Just put Amelia to bed. You?

Sitting on a barstool, drinking a beer, and wallowing in self-pity.

Wow, sounds like a ton of fun. Why are you having a pity party?

Because I have to pay for all this beer, and it isn’t making me feel better at all.

I thought I was the one who drowned my sorrows in alcohol. If we’re switching it up, let me know, so I can be the supportive sober one.

Please do. I need some damn support.

What’s bothering you?

I’d sent the last message before a thought occurred to me.

Wait, how are you drinking? I’m twenty-one, so you’re only nineteen.

I have friends in high places…at bars.

I rolled my eyes.

Okay. Anyway, what’s bothering you?

I’m just in a bad mood, I guess. Work sucked today, so that didn’t help any.

I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?

You could come to the bar and drink with me.

I frowned. He must really be down to have suggested that. He knew it wouldn’t be safe for me to be seen out with him. All it would take was one person seeing us together and reporting back to Joey to ruin everything.

You know I can’t. Joey might find out. Plus, he’s out of town, so I’m home by myself with Amelia.

I know. Just wishful thinking. Why is he out of town?

Work apparently. He was really…nice before he left. It was strange.

At least he wasn’t yelling at you, right?

I suppose.

If he’s gone all weekend, then you should hang out with me tomorrow.

I bit my lip. I wanted to see Ethan, I really did, but it wouldn’t be safe. Texting was one thing, but meeting him again was something I couldn’t do. There would be too much risk involved. I couldn’t risk losing his friendship. I needed it too much.

You know I can’t. If anyone saw us…

I know a place we could go. No one would be there.

Where?

I knew it would be a bad idea.

There’s a fishing hole that’s privately owned, and pretty much no one knows about it. Come with me tomorrow, please?

Instead of telling him no, I stared down at my phone. I wanted to go—badly. Ethan and Amelia were the only two people in this world who made me feel truly happy. I hated that part of my happiness required me to sneak around behind my husband’s back, but I was in far too deep to walk away now. I’d had a taste of what most people felt every single day, and I clung to it. I knew the road I was going down was paved with nothing but deceit, and if Joey were to ever discover the truth, he would be so angry, but I kept walking straight ahead on it.

I finally sent back a reply.

I don’t have a fishing pole.

No problem. I have two. So, is that a yes?

Maybe. I will have to check with my mom to see if she can watch Amelia.

Do you think she’ll say yes?

I sighed.

I’m sure she will. She loves spending time with Amelia.

Good. Then, meet me at my house at noon tomorrow.

Maybe.

I tossed my phone on the couch and sighed again. I knew without a doubt that I would be at his house tomorrow. The elation I felt over spending time with another human being who didn’t berate me or spit up on me was dimmed slightly by the never-ending guilt. It seemed that all I ever felt was guilt.

“I knew you’d come,” Ethan said the moment I climbed out of my car.

“Then, I should’ve skipped out on this little adventure just to prove you wrong,” I said with a grin.

He laughed. “But then you would have sat at home all day, watching cartoons and thinking about all the fun you were missing out on.” He studied me for a moment. “Hey, have you lost weight? You look like you have.”

I felt my face heat up as I looked away. I did not like discussing my weight or my issues with it with anyone, not even my own mother—hell, especially not my mother. For Ethan to ask about it was extremely embarrassing.

“Yeah, I’ve lost a few pounds over the last few weeks. It’s nothing to brag about though. I’m still fat,” I said, feeling twenty shades of awkward.

I couldn’t believe that he’d noticed. Joey hadn’t, or he would have said something. He made sure to regularly comment on my weight.

Ethan rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to stand here and tell you that you look like a Victoria’s Secret model, but I certainly wouldn’t call you fat. Stop beating yourself up over bullshit like that. I think you look fine.”

“Whatever,” I mumbled.

Apparently satisfied that he’d put me in my place, Ethan grabbed two poles, a cooler, and a tackle box off of his porch, balancing everything carefully. “Let me toss these in the back of my car, and we’ll go.”

“Can we take my car instead? I’m worried about leaving it in front of your house all day.”

He frowned and opened his mouth, as if to say something, but he must have decided against it. He clamped his mouth shut and nodded as he walked over to my car. After arranging the tackle box and poles in the backseat, we climbed in.

“So, where are we going?” I asked as I started my car.

“You remember the road we were on the night you came to see me?” When I nodded, he continued, “The fishing spot is on the same road.”

We were quiet as I drove, and neither of us spoke until I hit what I now considered our road.

“So, what was up with the pity party last night?” I finally asked.

He shrugged. “Nothing. I just had some bullshit in my head that I was trying to figure out.”

“Like what?”

“Nothing important. Turn left up here,” Ethan said.

I frowned but turned left onto a narrow dirt road. “Uh, is my car going to be okay while going down this road? I didn’t realize we’d be going off-road.”

“It’ll be fine. There are no pot holes or anything out through here. Just some small tree limbs sticking out since the owner hardly ever comes out to clear it.”

I kept going down the road, slowing down at each winding turn. After about a mile, I saw a clearing up ahead. When we reached it, I was surprised to see a large pond in front of us. A dock ran out into the middle of it. It was the perfect fishing spot.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know about this place. I used to go fishing all the time when I was a kid.” I parked my car next to the dock.

“Hardly anyone knows about it, which is why I like it so much,” Ethan said.

We climbed out and grabbed our gear along with the cooler from the backseat. I followed Ethan down the dock to the very end. We baited our hooks and cast the lines out. I sat down on the edge of the dock with my feet hanging over the end. The dock was high enough that my feet were a foot or two above the water.

Ethan sat down next to me and flipped the lid of the cooler open. He pulled out two beers and tossed me one.

“Thanks,” I said, trying not to wrinkle my nose.

Apparently, I’d failed because he laughed and took the beer out of my hand. He grabbed a soda out of the cooler and handed it to me.

“Better?” he asked.

“Much. I’m not a fan of beer. It tastes like piss. I’m a vodka kind of girl.”

“I don’t mind it.” He took a drink.

We sat in silence, waiting for even the slightest nibble.

After a little while, I glanced over at him. “Are you sure there are fish in here?”

“Patience, young one,” he said with a grin.

“Young one? I’m older than you, remember? You haven’t even hit your twenties yet.”

The grin slowly slipped away. “Some days, I feel like I’m forty. Life is a lot harder than I expected it to be.”

“How so?” I asked as I reeled my line in and cast out again.

“Money is a pain in the ass to come by, for one. I never realized how much everything costs—rent, bills, food. I took those things for granted when I lived with my dad. It seems like, no matter how many hours I work, I can’t get ahead of it all. I’ve been working odd jobs on the side just to be able to save a little.”