Текст книги "Date Me"
Автор книги: Jillian Dodd
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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 20 страниц)
Sunday, October 16th
We should party.
11:30 am
We slept in late, got up, ordered a huge breakfast, and ate it overlooking the bay.
I stay out on the deck because it’s so incredibly peaceful.
Dallas and Riley yell at me to come inside. They’re both sitting on the sofa drinking beers and laughing. Dallas has in iPad in his hand.
“What are you two laughing about?”
“We’re watching our video. You know it has like 500 views already.
“It was really fun to make,” Dallas says. “That plane was freaking sweet.”
“You did a good job editing it. Really, Riley, you’re very talented.”
“Thanks, baby. So what are you gonna do about my brother?”
“What is there to do? He wanted her, not me. We’re done.”
“He’s been posting stuff about you on his Facebook wall. I don’t think he wants her. He wants you.”
“I have to tutor Aiden when we get back. Then I guess I’ll see what happens.”
“Do you want me to ask him? I mean, I think you’d want to know before you get there.”
“I kind of wish we could just stay here. You’re right, though. I do want to know what happened.”
As we’re being driven to the airport I text Jake.
Me: I’m heading back to school soon. Wondered what happened this weekend with Whitney and Dawson. Do you know?
Jake: They hung out on Saturday. I don’t know if they did anything. Bryce said they seemed awkward. I avoided them. Hung out with some other people.
Me: So aren’t they back together?
Jake: Don’t think so. He told Ace he screwed up, and he was stupid for thinking he wanted her back. I think it was just sort of an ego trip. He had wanted her back for so long.
Me: Are you doing okay?
Jake: I’m doing very well actually.
Me: Okay, I’ll see you later tonight. I think we should party.
Jake: Sounds good.
Riley says, “I’m gonna text Dawson. See what he’s thinking.”
I lean over and watch him type.
Riley: Headed back home. How did things turn out this weekend? You and W back together?
Dawson: This weekend sucked. And no, we’re not.
Riley: My weekend was AWESOME!!! The best weekend of my life.
“You’re such a liar,” I say to him. “This weekend was nothing but a clusterfuck.”
“Maybe, but he doesn’t need to know that.”
Dawson: Has Keatie read my Facebook statuses?
Riley: Nope.
Dawson: Things weren’t the same with Whitney. Keatie has changed me and I didn’t even realize it. I was so stupid. Has she said ANYTHING about me?
Riley: No. She forbid us to say your name.
Dawson: :( What should I do?
Riley: Try to talk to her I guess. You hurt her.
Dawson: I know. I’m going to try to fix it.
“So what are you going to do? Will you take him back?”
“I don’t think so. At least not for a while.”
“Wanna make him suffer, huh?”
“No. That’s not it at all. It’s just that after what he did, I don’t have much faith in him, or us, anymore.”
I get a text from Aiden.
Aiden: Are you going to be back in time for tutoring?
Me: Yeah. I can meet you in the library at 7. Will that work for you?
Aiden: I’ll make it work.
I think about Aiden. About the mystery dream girl. About what Riley said about Aiden.
“Riley, why did you tell me Aiden’s a player?”
“I heard that he dated and hooked up with a lot of different girls last year. This year, it’s weird. He didn’t even have a date for Homecoming.”
Dallas says, “I’m pretty sure you’re the only girl he’s kissed this year.”
“How many have you kissed?”
“A dozen, maybe. Are you thinking about Aiden?”
“Oh, no, of course not. I was just thinking that’s sort of weird. For a guy that’s a player.”
“I could see you together,” Riley says.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. You just seem to sparkle around him. And he seems to affect you in a way no one else does. You’re practically obsessed with him, but yet you say you hate him.”
“I do hate him sometimes. I think we might end up being friends though. Sometimes he can be really sweet.”
I guess I can relate.
7pm
I find Aiden in the library, sitting at our table, and grinning at me.
“So . . . saw the video. Dawson had to be going crazy.”
“I doubt it. He’s into Whitney now.”
“You looked very sexy in the video. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that side of you. Well, maybe a little at the after-party. Everyone has been talking about it all weekend. You have a lot of views on You Tube.”
“I don’t care about the views. I just wanted Dawson to see it.”
“He looked miserable this weekend. Even when I saw him with Whitney, he looked miserable. I can't believe I'm saying this, but he probably just liked the idea that she wanted him again.”
“Whatever. I don’t want to talk about it.” But then I look at him. “What? Now you're pro-Dawson?”
“No. I just think it would suck to lose you. I guess I can relate.”
“You've lost someone you cared about because you were stupid?”
“Yeah, you, I think. That night, with the Keats toast.”
“I was fine with the Keats toast. It just caught me off guard, but then when I told you why it did, you completely changed. Got mad at me or something. Didn’t talk to me. Made me feel like I’d done something wrong.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I was mad at myself. Kinda like Dawson feels, I think.”
“Yeah, I don’t think Dawson liked the video too much.”
“I heard he smashed his computer. Remind me never to break up with you.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. We’re never going out.”
“Why's that?”
“I’m love cursed and I’m never going out with a boy again.”
Hell, I predicted it.
8:30pm
Sitting on the brick wall outside my dorm, dealing with Dawson.
“Keatie,” he pleads. “Please tell me we’re not over. Give me another chance.”
“Absolutely not.”
He looks at me with puppy dog eyes, but then he gets that determined set to his jaw, and pulls me into a hug. “I’m sorry.”
I try to stay stiff against the hug. I’m mad at him, but I also sort of understand. That doesn’t mean that I don’t hurt, or that I can forget, but I sort of understand.
Hell, I called it.
I knew it was going to happen. Screw the psychic panty hotline. Maybe I should become a relationship psychic. I foresaw the future. And, once again, I ignored the signs and fell for him anyway. I can’t decide which one of us was stupider.
I soften in his arms and hug him back.
He looks miserable.
“Look, I forgive you. I understand what you did. Hell, I predicted it. I knew it would happen. Knew we’d get happy, and you’d become more attractive to her because of it. I planned your makeover. I was just as much at fault as you. I never should’ve believed you. But you made me feel amazing and loved and sexy, and I didn’t listen to my head. I actually started to believe love could be a good thing.”
“Keatie, I was stupid too. I don’t know what I was thinking. You are so different, so much fun, and I feel like an equal with you.”
His eyes look moist. Like he’s on the verge of tears, which causes me to tear up. I try not to blink, so they won’t come out, but I can’t control them.
Dawson wipes away the tears from one side of my face and kisses the other side.
“I’m sorry. Please go out with me again.” He pulls the key necklace out of his pocket and tries to give it to me.
“I don’t want it, Dawson. Why don’t you give it to Whitney?”
“No. I bought you the necklace because I love you. You do have the key to my heart. I just thought for a second someone else did. And she used to, but I think you changed the lock because she just didn’t fit anymore.”
And although what he says is sort of romantic, I’m not buying it.
“We’re not getting back together.”
He looks defeated again. I hate seeing him like this. It’s the same look he had that night at the Cave, when I set out to make that gorgeous face smile again. And I did. But it wasn’t enough.
“Please tell me we’re not through.”
“I can’t say one way or another right now. I’m not trying to punish you or make you feel bad. I can see you feel bad already. But you know how parents always preach that there are consequences to the decisions we make? What you did hurt me, and I just can’t forget it.”
“Fine, don’t forget it. Forgive me. Understand. I was completely blindsided when she broke up with me. Then I tried for six months to get her back and now, all of a sudden, what I wanted for so long is being offered. I think I just needed closure, maybe. You once told me that Whitney should have forgiven me. Why can’t you?”
“That’s when you were drunk and pawing at my chest. I wish you had been drunk when she texted you. But, no. You chose her, stone cold sober, as you were supposed to be getting ready to go on a trip with me. Ego or not, it says a lot about whether you really loved me. If this is going to go anywhere further, you’re going to have to prove it to me. And, more importantly, you need to prove it to yourself.”
“I’m sorry,” he says again.
“You keep saying that. You’re like a freaking broken record. You should tell yourself you’re sorry. I thought things were good. You wanted to meet my family, we were having fun, you seemed happy, the sex was amazing, you told me I owned you, and then poof. A few texts from her, and I’m history. I can’t forget that because you think you’re sorry.”
He hangs his head. “Shit. Everything you’re saying is true.” He pulls me close to him, holds my face like he does after sex, when he’s the sweetest. Then he tries to kiss me.
“I can’t do this. I gotta go.” I tell him.
I run into my dorm and collapse in a heap on my bed. Then I decide I don’t want to face my girlfriends yet. They will ask me a million questions that I don’t know the answers to, so I sneak out the back door and over to Riley’s room.
Revenge sex.
9:15pm
I’m lying on my side on Riley’s bed. He’s sitting on his wheeled desk chair, rolling around, unable to sit still.
“So, you talked to my brother and you’re not back together, right?”
“Right. And I’ve been thinking.”
“Oh, no.”
“Shut up. Now is not the time to make fun of me!”
“Sorry,” he says, as he throws a pencil toward me and winks.
“This is serious. Talk to me about hooking up.”
“Well, see, there’s your problem. Hooking up is not supposed to be serious. It’s supposed to be fun.”
“Well, I’m trying to decide which way I want to go. I'm leaning toward bad girl. Carefree. Emotionless. You know, a girl version of you.”
“I'm not emotionless.”
“I know that, but you can have meaningless sex. Well, maybe that’s what I want. I’m tired of caring. When I was in detention, we made a list of the top five hotties at school. I think I'm gonna work my way down that list.”
“Who else was on the list?”
“Jake, Aiden, Logan, and you.”
“Really!? I was on the list? Who put me on the list?”
“Uh, I don’t remember. So anyway, Logan is cute, but he kinda hates me. Which might make it difficult. Aiden is into some other girl. And then there’s Jake. I think he should be my first target. Plus it would have the added bonus of revenge.”
“Baby.”
“What?”
“You deserve more than that.”
“Oh, I know, I just don't want it. I'm done with boys toying with my emotions.”
“I don't think you should.”
“Why?”
“Guys don't like sluts.”
“You like sluts.”
“Yeah, short term, but not long term.”
“Exactly! I want short term. The shorter the better. Uh, and when I say short, I’m referring to the length of the relationship, not the length of his you know what.” I smile at him and raise my eyebrows.
“What am I gonna do with you?”
“Just what you've been doing. Picking up the pieces of what's left of me.”
“Dawson wants you back.”
“Well, this is about what I want. And tonight I wanna get fucked up. In more ways than one. You in?”
“I'm always in.”
“Good, tonight’s gonna be fun.”
Monday, October 17th
Maybe it was a lot of puke.
7am
I wake up feeling horrible. My head is pounding and I feel sick.
Last night. Oh, last night.
I don’t think I want to remember it.
I lie in bed and look through my Facebook feed to see if there is anything on there I need to be embarrassed about.
Fortunately, I don’t find anything.
Then I take a quick look at my emails. I scroll through all the sale ads and see one from Grandpa. It’s one line.
-So, Hotshot, did you find yourself yet? Cause we haven’t heard from you.
I feel bad that I haven’t emailed Grandma and Grandpa for a while.
I reply.
-I’m working on it. Sorry I haven’t emailed in a while. It’s been busy.
Grandpa, I have a question for you. What’s the difference between love and true love?
I want to add, And why can’t I seem to find it?
But I don’t.
My mind flits back to last night.
I’m pretty sure I was the life of the party.
And not in a good way.
I remember telling Bryce to go get the good stuff out of his room. Doing shots. Dancing with Jake and Bryce in front of Whitney and Dawson.
Kissing Bryce.
Kissing Jake.
No. Really, I was making out with Jake.
We were dancing. His hands were all over me. My hands were all over him. I didn’t care who saw or what anyone thought. I had one mission.
To get laid and forget about Dawson.
To hurt him back.
Jake pulled me onto his lap. I was straddling him. Making out with him. Giving him a drunken lap dance. Dallas was putting dollar bills in my skirt.
Ugghh.
I throw my covers back, get out of bed, and turn on the shower.
I pull the hairband out of my ponytail and shake out my hair.
Oh gosh, my hair smells like puke.
Which makes me feel like I could throw up.
Again.
I shower, grab a towel, and stand in front of the mirror and dry myself off.
I stare at myself in the mirror to judge how bad I look.
I’m going to have to dress nice today. Pretend that I feel fine. That I’m not embarrassed.
But as I dry myself off, I see that I have three little hickeys. One on the side of my neck and two more on my chest near my bra line.
I remember Jake was sucking down the side of my neck.
I remember giggling as he was kissing down the front of me.
I’m also pretty sure that’s when Dawson got pissed and left.
I very clearly remember telling Jake I wanted to go back to his room. That we should have revenge sex. I even told him that I wanted to, um, do it. But I used the F-word.
And I never say anything like that. Not even with molten-lava-hot-asshole Dawson. I’ve said that I want him, but never used that word to describe it. Ever.
I remember Jake telling me we’d go soon.
I was feeling groovy, as Brooklyn's dad would say.
Well, I was until I wasn't.
All of a sudden, the alcohol I'd consumed hit me.
I remember telling Jake I didn't feel so good while we were on the chair kissing, but he didn’t stop.
I’m pretty sure that’s about when I puked all over Aiden’s room.
Then it all gets blurry.
Riley holding me.
Riley taking me to his room. Riley holding my hair while I puked. Riley waking me up this morning at four and sneaking me behind the dorms and then through my window.
I put on a lot of eye cream and concealer to hide my puffy eyes, use the concealer to hide the hickeys, then go into my closet to try and find something to wear.
I dig through my closet and decide I just can’t do it. I don’t care what I look like today. I know Kym always says that looking good helps cure a hangover, but I just can’t do it.
I grab the plaid skort, a long sleeved white T-shirt, and the black cardigan, since black fits my mood. I add some black knitted thigh highs to keep my legs warm and a pair of red suede fringe boots.
Okay, so those might make me feel a little better. I grab my red furry Longchamp bag and pet it. Decide it needs to come with me too.
I go back in the bathroom to throw on some powder and mascara and brush my wet hair.
I add some sea salt spray and scrunch it into waves.
I look in the mirror and decide that it’s just going to have to do.
Katie had an early morning Spanish Club meeting, so she was gone before I even got up.
There’s a knock at my door.
I open it and find Riley with Revive Smart Water, pumpkin bread, and Advil.
“You are a life saver,” I say, grabbing the Advil from him and downing it.
As we walk to history, he says, “So, I’m thinking breakups and shots are not a good mix for you.”
“No shit. Do I need to die of embarrassment now?”
“You have ceramics with Jake this morning. That ought to be interesting.” He starts laughing. He seems to think this is just so freaking funny. “I think you may have gotten a little puke on Jake last night.”
“Oh, god.”
“Okay, well, maybe it was a lot of puke.”
“Just kill me now, Riley. What would be a fun way to die?”
He tosses his arm around my shoulder. “Oh, no. I'm not killing you. You're too much fun.”
“You held my hair while I puked.”
“Yeah, baby, that's okay.”
“Thank you. In case I didn't thank you last night. Like, during the puking.”
“Oh, you thanked me. You bawled, thanking me.”
“I bawled?”
“Oh, yeah. You had a drunken bawling meltdown. You kept thanking me for not being a stupid boy. You cried about the surfer and the orange, fake-boobed slut. You cried because you have a monkey nickname. I have no idea what that was all about. You cried about wishing on the moon and how since then your life has been shit. You cried about Dawson. About how you hate love. About how you are love cursed.” He licks his lips and smiles. “You want to be embarrassed about something, that’s what you should be embarrassed about. And that I changed your shirt. Did you even notice you were wearing my shirt this morning?”
“Uh, no.”
“I swear. I didn't look.” He laughs. “Well, not too much, anyway.”
“I love you, seriously. You're still my hero.”
“Yeah, I know. You told me that about a million times too.”
“I owe you.”
“Naw. That was me paying you back because my brother was an asshole. We’re even, okay?”
“Okay. Riley?”
“Yeah?”
“Don't ever let me do that again.”
Have fun, no strings.
Ceramics.
I should skip ceramics, but I don’t.
I drop my bag down on the table I share with Bryce and Jake. Neither of them is here yet. Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll both be sick.
But I’m not lucky today.
Bryce strolls into the room with Jake right behind him.
Shit.
What am I supposed to say? Do I apologize for puking on him? Or should I pretend I was so drunk that I don’t remember. I mean, really, I don’t actually remember that part. I could try to giggle and flirt with them. Go with the I-was-so-drunk routine that always seemed to excuse all the things Vanessa had done the night before.
Or maybe I’ll go with how I feel. The poor-pathetic-feel-sorry-for-me-because-my-boyfriend-dumped-me-so-I-got-drunk route. And the best part of that route is I won’t even have to act. It’s just the truth.
Bryce pats me on the back. “How we feeling, there, slugger? Remember kissing me last night?”
I keep my head down and groan slightly. That way I don’t have to look at them directly.
Jake bumps my side with his hip.
I look up at him then cover my face with my hand.
He says, “So . . . last night was, um, interesting.”
“I’m told I may have puked on you. I’m very sorry and extremely embarrassed.”
He pulls my hand off my face and smiles at me. “That’s kinda my fault. You told me you didn’t feel good. But I was pretty drunk and having too much fun.”
“Hopefully that means you don’t remember some of the things I may have said.”
His blushes a little. “Oh, that I do remember. Revenge sex. Revenge sex. Let’s have revenge sex. You’re lucky I’m a nice guy.”
“I didn’t want you to be a nice guy last night. Why were you?”
“Umm, well, me and Dawes are friends. And it’s cool we stayed friends even though I was dating Whitney. Kissing you was one thing, but sex would’ve been another.”
“The whole bros before hoes thing, huh?”
“Well, you’re my friend too. And you were drunk. You never get drunk. You always have fun and party, but you always seem like you know when to stop—before it gets ugly.”
“I like to get tipsy, but I don’t like that out of control drunk feeling, and I hate being hung over.”
“You a little hung over today?” He laughs at me.
“What do you think?”
“So last night was just about getting back at Dawson?”
“No. I mean, maybe, kinda. Plus, I decided I just want to have fun. No strings. Strings do nothing but get you hurt.” I sigh. A really big sigh.
Jake leans his arm on the table next to me and puts his fist under his chin. “You don’t really seem like that type of girl.”
“I never have been, but it makes sense.”
“You’re a good kisser.”
“From what I remember, you are too. I heard when things didn’t work out with Whitney and Dawson that she said she wanted you back.”
“She did. And she was pissed I was kissing you. But what she did to both of us pretty much sucked. So, I don’t really care.”
“Do you want her back?”
“Not at all. Can I tell you a secret?”
“Yeah.”
“This weekend, Maggie and I talked in the library for a really long time. You know, about you and Dawson. About Whitney. She is really nice. And really pretty. And making out with you was a whole lot of fun. I’m thinking I just want to be single.”
Bryce asks, “So you gonna get back together with Dawson? He’s miserable.”
“I don’t know. Right now it just hurts. He promised me that he didn’t care about her anymore. So, no matter what he says now I’m not going to believe him.”
“I’m glad you showed me the texts.”
Bryce interrupts. “Plus, we got the video, so, ya know, some good came out of it.”
“Everyone saw the video, didn’t they? The video of me acting like a slut.” I put my face back down in my hands and mutter, “I hate boys.”
“Better not hate me,” Jake says.
“Better never date me then.”
I was happy with you.
Lunch.
I sit down at a table all by myself. I don’t want company today. I want to wallow in aloneness.
This is the kind of day when you wish you could stay home from school and pretend to be sick. I suppose I could’ve pretended to be sick. Maybe I still can.
Dawson sits down next to me. “We need to talk, Keatie. Seriously.”
I take a bite of the calorie-laden fried chicken strips that I got for lunch today. They taste disgusting. “I’m really not in the mood to talk right now.”
“When, then? After school? Please, Keatie?”
“Dawson, you don’t even get it, do you? Do you know how embarrassing this is for me? I was going to take you home to meet my parents. You swore that you loved me and that you were over her. I have never felt so embarrassed of my decisions in my life.”
“Jeez, I know, okay. How would you feel if your surfer dude did that to you? He was your first love. What would you have done if he had said he wanted you back?”
“He did. Remember? You were with me. I told him I was happy with my boyfriend. That I was happy with you.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.” He runs his hands back through his gorgeous dark hair. I try not to notice how his muscles flex or how sexy a gesture I’ve always thought it was. “Look, I’m so, so, incredibly sorry. I got caught up in it. It was like I wanted it for so long, and then when she finally wanted me, I just, I thought I needed to see. But what I realized is you are what makes me the me I am now. I’m so much happier with you than I ever was with her.”
I get tears in my eyes. “Yeah, but not happy enough to tell her no. Not happy enough to go with me. What you did sucked. It hurt. And I’m not over it. Sorry. You chose the path. I’m just trying to deal with it. And I really would like to sit alone.” I change my mind and stand up quickly. “Never mind. You stay. I’m leaving.”
He grabs my arm. “You kissed Dallas and Bryce last night. You made out with Jake. You gave him a lap dance in front of me. Told him you wanted to have revenge sex.”
“Yeah, I did. It was fun. Single girls can do that. And I know you kissed Whitney this weekend.”
“No. She kissed me. Only once. She said we had to see if it felt the same, but it didn’t. I’m not the same guy I used to be. I don’t fit with her anymore. I fit with you. I love you, Keatie. Please, give me another chance.”
“I can’t do this right now, Dawson. Seriously, I can’t. I feel like shit. And I don’t want to start crying in the middle of the café. Please, I’m embarrassed enough by all of this as it is.”
“You were drunk last night.”
“No shit.”
“Tonight. We’re going to talk.”
“I don’t know what else there is to say.”
“I’ll think of something,” he says, as I walk away.
Seal off.
French
I leave the cafeteria and go into the bathroom and cry. Then I clean up my mascara and go to French class early.
Aiden walks in early too.
“Hey,” he says, giving me a god-like smile and taking his usual seat behind me.
I don’t reply. I just give him a S’up head nod and then lay my pounding head down on my desk.
Apparently, his godly smile has no effect on a hangover.
I feel a tap on my back. I roll my eyes and turn around. “What?” I say exasperatedly. I don’t want to talk to him, or anyone else, for that matter.
He smiles at me and says, “Are you mad at me?”
“Are you happy that Dawson and I broke up?”
“Well, yeah, but I have my own reasons for that.”
“That sucks, Aiden. Because I’m hurt and if you had even a remote desire to be my friend, you wouldn’t want to see me hurt.”
He winces. Like what I just said hurt him.
God, I’m being a bitch. I’m taking my frustration out on him instead of Dawson.
I’m getting ready to tell him that I’m sorry when he reaches out and hands me a little star.
I take it in my hand and look at it. It’s one of the glow in the dark ones from his ceiling.
From his failed attempt to get the dream girl to go to Homecoming with him.
And that does make me mad.
I toss it back at him in disgust. “Why would I want this?”
He catches the star and lowers his head just a little. “I just thought, um, you said they remind you of your sisters and how you miss them. I just thought . . .”
“I don’t need the leftovers from your failed attempt at asking your dream girl to Homecoming,” I snarl.
“You're crabby today,” he states.
“No shit.”
“You probably shouldn't have drunk so much last night.”
I hold my hand behind my head, flash him my middle finger, and say, “Seal off, Aiden,” as Annie sits down.
She gives me an adorable look. The kind of look that makes me know she’s on my side.
She leans over and says to me, “Girls’ night tonight?”
“Abso-fricken-lutely.”
My life has gone to shit.
3pm
As I’m about to walk into the dance locker room, Whitney grabs me by the arm. “We need to talk.”
“Talk about what? I’m not talking to you.”
She looks around to make sure no one is near and admits, “I’m sorry, okay. He looked happy with you. I was jealous. Wished things could just go back to the way they used to be.”
She gets tears in her eyes. “What you did at Homecoming. In front of my family. No one has ever stood up for me like that. Since I broke up with Dawson, my life has gone to shit.”
“That happened to me too,” I confide in her. “Last spring, I broke up with my perfect boyfriend. Except he wasn’t perfect, and I wasn’t happy. But I wish I could take it back, because since then, my life has gone to shit too.”
“Your life has gone to shit? Everything you do here turns to freaking gold.”
“I’m just trying to have fun. I don’t want to be involved in all the drama.”
“Do you think we could ever be friends? Dawson and I were never the way you are with him. We kissed. I made him. Told him that we needed to see.” She dabs a tear from the inside corner of her eye. “But you changed him.”
“No, you changed him, Whitney, when you broke up with him for reasons that had nothing to do with love. You broke his heart. Sometimes people just can’t get over that.”
She looks at the ground. “Yeah, I know,” she says quietly and I know she’s thinking about when Camden broke her heart all those years ago. “You should forgive him. It was all my fault.”
“Actually, it’s not all your fault. He could have told you no. And if he really loved me like he said, he would have.”
“I feel bad. I don’t usually feel bad about this kind of stuff.”
“I’m pretty sure I feel worse, but thanks. It makes me feel so much better to know that your breaking us up was for nothing.”
She puts her bitch face back on. “You made out with Jake last night.”
I stand up straight. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. Jake and I are both single. Because of you.”
Peyton walks up to us. “Keatyn, are you okay?”
I shake my head at her and quickly walk into the dance locker room.
Because I am not okay.
A peace offering.
6pm
I’m walking back to my dorm room, looking forward to having a girls’ night when I get a group text from Annie.
Annie: Hey! We’re all going to meet in my room tonight. My roommate has a swim meet, so we’ll have the place to ourselves.
Me: I just want to go back to my room. Can’t we do it in my and Katie’s room like we planned?
Annie: No. You need a change of scenery. And I already ordered in food, have wine, and copious amounts of chocolate and junk food.
Katie: Yeah, can’t we just do it in our room?
Me: PLEASE??
Annie: Are you REALLY going to ask me to move ALL of what I’ve set up?
I feel bad. Shit.
Katie: No, we won’t. We’ll all be there.
Me: I’m going to stop, change clothes, and wash my face. I’ll be there in a few :)
Annie: Good :)
I get to Annie’s room and curl up on her bed. She sits on the bed, pulls me into a hug, and then hands me a piece of chocolate. “Here, eat this. It will make you feel better.”
I look at what she handed me. A little purple foil wrapped square. The word Bliss written on it.
I hear Aiden’s voice in my head. Vos lèvres sont mon béatitude.
I unwrap the candy, pop it in my mouth, and let the chocolate slowly melt. It really does taste like bliss.
“That’s really good, Annie. Thanks for doing all this.”
She brings three pizza boxes down to the center of her floor and hands out paper plates.
I decide to try and enjoy girls’ night and not whine and bring everyone else down. Plus, I’m so incredibly grateful that I didn’t have to show my face in the café tonight.
I get a text from Dawson reminding me that we’re supposed to talk tonight. I tell him I’m having a girls’ night.
“So, I need updates on everyone’s weekend,” I say to the girls.
Maggie giggles. “So what do you guys think of Jake? Do you think I could possibly have a chance with him? Is he getting back together with Whitney?”
“He is super hot,” Annie says. “Keatyn, you know him the best. What do you think of him?”
I look at Maggie. “I kissed him last night. Made out with him. We were both drunk and trying to get back at Whitney and Dawson. It doesn’t mean anything. God, I even puked on him.”
“I heard about that,” Annie says. “Aiden told me that you puked all over his room and he had to clean it up.”
“Shit. I was mean to him in French, wasn’t I? I should have thanked him or apologized. I think that’s all I did today. Apologize for being an idiot.”
