Текст книги "Date Me"

Автор книги: Jillian Dodd

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Текущая страница: 19 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Maggie lunges at me and wraps me in a hug. “You are not an idiot. You need to stop blaming yourself for what Dawson did. It’s not your fault. Boys suck.”

Katie waves her hand in the air. “I’ll second that.”

“Katie,” Annie says. “We need to talk about your drinking.”

“Yeah, we do. You would think that after what happened you wouldn’t ever drink again. But you got drunk at the Cave again on Saturday night,” Maggie says.

“Oh, so Keatyn can puke all over and it’s okay with everyone, but I get drunk and I’m in trouble?”

“I think my situation is a little different, Katie,” I say gently. “I hardly ever get drunk. You hardly ever don’t get drunk.”

She starts to tear up. “I don’t know how it keeps happening. I plan on only having a couple drinks, but then when the guys offer me shots, I can’t seem to say no. And when I do say no, they tease me about how I can’t keep up with them.”

“You can’t keep up with the guys. You have to be able to say no. Have one drink then have a bottle of water. And try not to drink more than one drink per hour. ”

She nods.

Maggie gives her a hug. “We just want you to be safe, okay?” Then she turns to me. “Can we please talk about Jake? I don’t care that you kissed at the party. What I care is that he didn’t kiss me. Didn’t even try to kiss me. He talked to me. Like we talked and talked for hours in the library. I think I fell a little in love with him.”

“He said he had fun talking to you and thinks you are really sweet and pretty, but he also said he wants to be single for a while and just have fun. Basically, we both decided to become sluts.”

Annie looks at me with wide eyes, “Really? You want to be a slut? Sleep with a bunch of guys?”

“Well, last night it sounded like a good idea but the truth is, I can’t do that I have to like a guy. And I really only want to do it with a guy that I really like. Love, hopefully.”

“Ace and I went a little further,” Annie almost whispers.

“A little further?”

“Well, yeah, just a little. Like, I touched it.”

We all scream and laugh.

“And?” I say.

“It seems very big. I didn’t realize they get so big. I can NOT imagine that thing inside me.”

Maggie hoots, “Oh, it will fit just fine. Are you thinking about doing it with him?”

“Well, I mean, I have thought about it. I’m not ready yet, but I’ve thought about it.”

“Trust me on this,” I say to her very seriously. “Wait. Wait until you think you can’t wait any longer. And then wait some more.”

“I’m surprised to hear you say that,” Katie says. “I thought you would encourage her because it was so great with Dawson.”

“It was great with Dawson. Sex stuff feels good. It can be great, but I think it makes you feel like you are sort of in love with the person. I think maybe Dawson thought he loved me because that part of our relationship was really exciting. But then when it came down to it, he didn’t really love me. Same with my ex. He said he loved me, we did it, and then he didn’t even respect me enough to not basically screw someone else in front of me. I think if I ever do it again, it’s going to be with a boy that I know loves me.”

Annie says, “But that’s the problem, isn’t it? The knowing.”

“Yes, that’s the problem.”

“So, I should wait?”

“You should definitely wait.”

“So, what are you going to do about Dawson?”

“He wants to talk tonight.” I hold my hands up in the air. “What is there to talk about?”

“Didn’t you read all his Facebook statuses while you were gone?” Annie asks. “If I were Whitney, I’d feel like complete shit. Everyone knew she wanted to get back together with him, and then he posted all those statuses.”

“What statuses? I haven’t looked at Facebook since I pressed the single button.”

“I think you should read them,” Annie says gently. “Actually, let’s read them together.”

She grabs her laptop and pulls up Dawson’s profile page. “Do you want to read them, or shall I read them to you?”

“Read them out loud, so we can figure out what they mean.”

“Okay, we’ll start on Friday night. After you left, he said, So confused. Then later that night, I really screwed up, and then there is a little broken heart. Aww, that’s so sad. Okay, so then I think this must have been after he saw the video. Just threw my computer across the room, shattered it. Going to kill my brother. Then at like two in the morning, he wrote on your wall, Keatie, I’m sorry. I love you. You didn’t comment, but some people did. Jake said, F you. Dallas said, Heard you liked the video. I said, Heart you, Keatyn.”

“Aw, that was sweet, Annie.”

“Let’s see. Then on Saturday after I know they had lunch together, he posted, I miss my Keatie.

Maggie says, “If I was Whitney, that would have made me feel like crap.”

Okay, so then he posted on your wall again. I miss you and another broken heart. Then we all know that he and Whitney were at the party together. Apparently, when he got home from that he posted, The past is history. Then on Sunday. Counting down the hours until I can apologize in person. Then Sunday night. Love sucks.”

“Wow. What do you all think that means?”

“It means he realized quickly that he screwed up. He was upset, but he still tried with Whitney, and it didn’t work,” Annie says.

“Plus, he knew she would read his status, and he didn’t care,” Katie says, defending Dawson. “They were all about you. I think you should take him back. He just made a mistake.”

My phone vibrates. “It’s him.” I laugh. “His ears must be burning.”

Dawson: I thought of something.

Me: Huh?

Dawson: You told me we’d have nothing to talk about. I thought of something we could talk about.

Me: I just read all your Facebook posts from this weekend.

Dawson: We could talk about that. I’m out for a walk, wanna join me?

Me: I’m at Annie’s dorm and I look like crap. Be prepared.

I walk out, and Dawson says, “Casual, yes. Crap, no.” He snakes his arm around my waist. “You always come out here with practically nothing on, then I have to give you my sweatshirt.”

“Oh, sorry, I, um, I’ll run back in and grab one.”

“No, you’re not. I love seeing you wear my clothes.” He pulls his sweatshirt off over his head and pulls it down over mine. “This feels familiar,” he says, then pulls the hoodie strings toward him.

“Did you really know right away you screwed up? Like before you even hung out with her?”

“I told you, the second you were gone, I knew I made a mistake. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You’re the last person I’d want to hurt.”

“And after you hung out with her, when you said the past is history. What did you mean by that?”

“I meant that she’s part of my past, not my future. You are my future. Well, I hope you are. Keatie, I love you.”

“Please don’t say that.”

“Will you give me another chance?”

“I don’t know.”

“Can we start over?”

“I don’t know, Dawson. Maybe. If we go anywhere, we’d have to go back to the beginning.”

He gives me a sexy grin. “Our beginning was pretty amazing.”

I lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek. “I have to get back in there.”

I go back inside and tell the girls about what he said. We dissect the entire conversation and consider the pros and cons of getting back together with him. And even though they come up with a lot of pros, I know I can’t do it.

At least, not yet.

My phone buzzes.

Aiden: I’m in the library. You’re not here.

Me: You’re gonna have to go it alone tonight. I’m not up for it.

Aiden: Just come talk to me.

Me: I have no makeup on. My hair is a mess. I’m not going anywhere.

Aiden: Then I’m coming to you.

Me: No.

Aiden: You missed the monthly birthday celebration at dinner tonight. I have cake for you. Double layer chocolate.

Me: Fine. But I’m warning you. I look scary. And I’m at Annie’s dorm.

Aiden: I can handle it. And I know. Meet me outside.

“Aiden is bringing me cake. I have to run outside.”

“You can’t see him with no makeup. Quick, put some on.”

“Naw, I don’t care.”

Annie says, “You must be really upset about Dawson if you don’t care.”

“I am really upset about Dawson.”

“Don’t forget to apologize to him,” she says, as she walks me to the door.

“So, cake, huh?”

“Come here.” Aiden takes my hand like it’s the most normal thing in the world and leads me over to a bench that is just off to the side of the entrance to Annie’s dorm. He spreads a napkin across my lap, takes the plastic wrap off the cake, sets it on my lap, and hands me a fork. “Dig in.”

I take a big bite.

I look like shit, I’m not gonna impress him with my manners either.

“Oh. Wow. Oh, yuuummm. This is goooood cake.”

“Told ya.”

I take another forkful and hold it up to his mouth.

He opens his mouth, so I give him a bite. “It is really good, but I already had a piece. This is for you.”

“Why did you get me cake, Aiden?”

He touches my index finger with his. Runs it slowly up my hand. “I saw you weren’t at dinner. Thought it’d be nice. Is it not nice?”

I take another bite, almost groan in ecstasy, and then say, “It’s very nice. But a lot of girls missed dinner. Did you get them all cake?”

He frowns at me. “No, I didn’t get them all cake. I’m sorry I made you mad today.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I was crabby. And I’m really sorry I puked all over your room. I’ve had a rough couple of days.”

“That’s why I brought cake, Boots. It’s a peace offering. Get it? Piece of cake. Peace offering?”

I nod at him and smile. “I get it, and I like both kinds of peace.”

He stops moving his finger across my hand and looks at me intently. “Good. Remember that in a few minutes.”

“Why . . .?” I start to say, but I can’t finish because his lips are on mine.

He gives me one of his long, slow, perfect, electrifying kisses.

Our lips touch.

They barely move.

They don’t have to.

Just touching is somehow enough.

The kiss ends. He must have ended it.

There’s no way I pulled away from a kiss like that.

I want to be kissed like that forever.

I’m frozen, holding my breath, and staring at his beautiful face. Those green eyes that make me feel emotionally naked every time he looks at me.

He touches my bottom lip with his finger.

Slowly glides it from one corner to the other.

“How are your lips?’ he asks. And I know exactly what he’s referring to. The night when he fixed my lips.

“Perfect,” I reply, with a contented sigh.

“So you’re not mad at me anymore?”

“How could I be mad?” I say.

But I want to tell him that I know it’s all bullshit. The lines. The kisses.

I want to tell him that I’m not falling for him again.

That I was crushed when he didn’t call me after our 29 dances.

That I saw our future.

That I just got hurt by a boy and I don’t ever want to be hurt again. That I could never give him my heart.

For one reason.

He could destroy it.

If Dawson had the potential to break my heart, crack it in two, Aiden has the power to annihilate it.

And I would never be the same.

That’s why we can only be friends.

That and the fact that he’s hung up on someone else.

He gets up and says, “For once, I’m gonna end it on a good note. Goodnight, Boots.”

“Night, Aiden,” I say, trying to keep the wistful sound out of my voice.

I stop before I go back into Annie’s room and take a deep breath.

It’s just cake.

He felt bad.

It’s just cake.

He’s a nice guy.

It’s just cake. He’s finally not failing French.

You are his tutor. It’s just cake. A peace offering, so you will keep tutoring him.

I set the cake on the floor and let the girls dig in.

“Oh my gosh. We are never missing cake night again!” Maggie exclaims.

“It was sweet of Aiden to bring you cake,” Annie gushes.

“I wish a boy would bring me cake,” Katie says.

I touch my lip and say quietly, almost to myself. “He kissed me.”

“Like made out or kissed?” Maggie asks, her mouth still full of chocolate.

“Just one of his super slow, lips-barely-touching, amazing kisses.”

“But you’re still done with boys?”

“Definitely,” I say with conviction. “But, I mean, he brought us cake. He deserved a kiss, don’t you think?”

“I’d do more than kiss for cake this good,” Maggie laughs.

“You’re bad.”

She grins. “I wish.”

It’s a mess.

10:30pm

Katie and I roll into our room just before curfew. I brush my teeth and walk out of the bathroom.

And see my side of our room.

There are books all over the floor by my desk. There are clothes piled high on my chair.

I slowly walk towards my closet and peek in.

It’s a mess.

My shoes aren’t in their boxes.

My expensive handbags are tossed in a pile on the floor instead of lovingly placed in a row on my shelf.

I back out of my closet and look at my bed. My bed, which I stopped making every morning.

Oh my god.

I’ve become Dawson.

I almost quit the play because of him. I almost gave up on my dream because of a boy.

Mom always says that Tommy encourages her to shine. That he’d never try to change her.

But Dawson didn’t try to change me. I let myself change.

What did Kym say after I broke up with Sander? I’m doing me.

And I think that’s exactly what I need to do.

Promise to myself #1: No more getting drunk and out of control. You are not that kind of girl. You’ve never been that kind of girl. You like being in control.

Promise to myself #2: You are single. But you don’t need to act like Dawson did. Kissing everyone to make your ex jealous. No. You need to kiss whoever you want. Whenever you want. No apologizing for it.

There are too many hot guys here to apologize for it.

Oh, yeah, I’m going to like being single.

Welcome to my whoredom, boys.

I pick up my room while Katie showers. Then I call Mom.

“Hey,” I say.

“Hey,” she says. “Garrett is pretty upset with you.”

“I was hoping he wouldn’t tell you. Dawson and I broke up, Mom. His ex texted him and wanted to get back together. I was going to surprise you this weekend. I didn’t tell anyone what I was doing. I chartered a plane and was going to just show up at your house. I thought we could stay in all weekend and no one would know I was ever there. I was bringing Dawson with me. I was going to tell him the truth on the plane. That’s why I was so upset. Why I went to Miami. I needed to see Damian. I needed my friend.”

“Oh, Keatyn,” she says with a sigh. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom. I’m done with boys. I just want you to know. I won’t make any more mistakes. I won’t see anyone or risk anything. I’ll take better care of me. I promise. I’m sorry, Mom.” I start crying. It’s all catching up to me. I want my mom. I want her to come in my room and sit on my bed and talk to me and hug me when I feel like crying. I want to go to my sisters’ room. I want all four of them to jump on me and hug me at once. I want Tommy to tease me. I can’t do this here.

I just want to go home.

“Sweetie, you’re seventeen. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t make a few mistakes. I think you have been beyond responsible. You left to protect the girls, right?”

“Yes. I love them so much. That letter in Avery’s backpack freaked me out. I don’t want Vincent to ever be anywhere near them. And, obviously, he is still looking for me. He’s not just forgetting about me and giving up. But I was upset about Dawson. And I let it cloud my judgment. He told me he loved me, Mom, but he didn’t really.”

“You know, honey, you can’t fully love anyone until you learn to love yourself.”

I hear a blood-curdling screech from one of the girls, then Mom yells, “I’ve got to go! I love you!”

The call disconnects but I’m still holding the phone to my ear. Mom’s words are resonating through my head.

You can’t fully love anyone until you learn to love yourself.

I’ve been so worried about if a boy loves me or not. I give them my heart only to get it back stomped on and broken. I can blame Brooklyn and Dawson all I want for breaking my heart.

But the truth is, I let them.

I didn’t listen to the nagging voice in my head. The voice that knew when we were on tour with Damian that things weren’t right with B. The voice inside my head that knew all along that Whitney would want Dawson back and that he would want to go.

I didn’t listen to them for one reason.

Love.

I kept telling myself that it wasn’t true because they loved me.

I think it’s time to figure out what I want out of my life.

It’s time to learn to love me.

I lie down in my bed and close my eyes.

My bed feels so good.

I hear Katie brush her teeth, flip off the lights, and then get into bed.

“Night, Keatyn.”

“Night, Katie.”

I take a couple deep breaths and relax.

I’m so ready to go to sleep and have this day be officially over.

“Keatyn!” Katie exclaims a few minutes later. “They’re so pretty! I love them!”

“Love what?” I say, keeping my eyes shut tight.

Please, just go to sleep.

“You mean you didn’t do it?” she asks.

“Didn’t do what?”

“Open your eyes, silly.”

“I don't want to open my eyes. I want to go to sleep and forget today. Forget last night.”

“Keatyn, you need to open your eyes.”

“Fine,” I say, as I slowly open them.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Oh my gosh.

Our entire ceiling is covered with hundreds of little glow-in-the-dark stars.

“They’re beautiful,” I tell Katie. “When did you find time to do that?”

“I didn’t do it. That’s why I asked if you did it.”

“I didn’t do it,” I say again.

“Who do you think did?”

“I have no idea. Unless, it was Annie. Is that why she was so adamant that we come to her room tonight? Is she trying to cheer us up?”

“Could be. But she was with us the whole time.”

My mind drifts to Aiden handing me a little star today in French. Me getting mad at him and tossing it back.

Then tonight. The cake. The peace offering.

Could Aiden have done this?

But that doesn’t make sense.

They were for the dream girl.

But in class he said something about my sisters liking them. About how they reminded me of home. Was he just trying to get rid of them?

"I think it might know,” I whisper to Katie.

I grab my phone from my bedside table and call Aiden.

“Hey, Boots, what's up?” he says, in his smooth delicious voice. “Get it? What’s up?”

“Aiden, did you . . .”

He doesn't let me finish. “The answer to your question is yes. I did put stars all over your ceiling.”

“They’re beautiful. But I don’t understand why you did it.”

“I did it because I think it’s time you finally knew that the stars were always for you. Always. Only. Ever. For you.”

The End.

love me.

The Keatyn Chronicles

Book four.

Coming soon.

**Because the ending of this book is pretty explosive, I’d like to ask that you do not spoil it for others or quote the last line in your reviews.

I want all readers to be as surprised as you were at the end.

Thanks so much for understanding <3

Speaking of reviews . . . If you loved this story, please leave a review wherever you purchased it.

And, please, don’t upload or share this file on the internet. If you want authors to keep writing the stories you love, please respect their work by not sharing or uploading copyrighted material.

And . . . if you need to talk about the ending, the series, or are just suffering from hottie overload, please know that there is help.

Join the Keatyn Chronicles Addicts Groupon Facebook.

And be sure to check out my website for added content.

Clothes, playlists, dream casts, merchandise, and sneak peeks.

When I get to certain review levels, I will be posting the clothing Keatyn wears in Date Me as well as a sneak peek from Love Me.

Other books by Jillian Dodd

Read That Boy Read That Wedding

Read Stalk Me Read Kiss Me

Other books by Bandit Publishing

Acknowledgements

Where do I even start?

I cannot even believe that less than two years ago I hit publish on That Boy and am now releasing my fifth book. If you ever dream about doing something, don’t be afraid to try. Sometimes things turn out better than you could have imagined.

To quote Keatyn, “It's been better than I could have scripted.”

Thank you, readers. Books are fun for me to write, but it’s even funner when you know people are enjoying them. Thank you for all your emails, messages, tweets, and facebook posts. Thank you for your amazing reviews and telling your friends. Thank you for wanting to take Keatyn under your wing and tell her a thing or two about boys. Thanks for remembering what it’s like to be a boy-crazed 17-year-old girl. I know there were many times that I promised myself I was done with boys, but then some cute guy would smile from across the room and I’d be all like, What broken heart?

Thanks to the following KC Addicts for sharing part of their names for this book: Melissa Stewart-Allum, (Who is now Facebook officially Melissa Danny-Diamond. Wasn’t sure which name you would prefer I use.) Mireya Sauer, Jessica Miremadi, Pernille Meldgaard Pedersen, Amy Cosse, Mandy Morgan, and Taryne Ross.

To the winner of the Keatyn Polyvore boards contest: Julie Kady. I love how you totally get Keatyn’s style. I love how you paired the sequined shorts with the cowboy boots for Keatyn to shop in.

To the Triple M Book Club: Thank you for adopting my brother and teaching K about the fun way to use big ring gummy Lifesavers and Fruit Roll-ups.

To Happy Chin-Sang Driggs: Thank you for having a “druk” night on Facebook and inspiring Dawson’s scene from the book.

To Allison Jones: Thank you for sharing the way a boy asked you to Homecoming with glow-in-the-dark stars. I loved that, obviously, as it was a huge part of this book’s storyline.

To all the bloggers who have reviewed my books. Thank you so much for all your support. You are the new booksellers. Instead of people going to the store to browse the latest covers, readers are flocking to your sites to discover new books. Y’all are AWESOME and I can’t thank you and all the other bloggers that have reviewed this series enough!! And a special shout out to: Mollie at Tough Critic Book Reviews (Thank god you got over Cush.); Gitte & Jenny at Totally Booked; Autumn at Autumn Reviews; Ellen & Judith at I Love YA Fiction; Denise at Flirty & Dirty Book Blog; Christina at Cocaine & Cupcakes Blog; Julie Brazeal at A Tale of Many Reviews; Alexis at Reality Bites; Lisa at Rock Stars of Romance; and Leslie at The Indie Bookshelf.

Dang, this is getting long. Good thing I’m not on the stage at the Academy Awards. They’d start playing the music now. To my friends: Jenn Sterling, Nigel Blackwell, David N. Walker, Rebecca Donovan, Diane Capri, Molly McAdams, Charles Sheenhan-Miles, Leslie Fear, Melissa Stewart-Allum, Mireya Sauer, Jessica Miremadi, and Beth Suit. Thanks for all your support and advice!!!

The beta readers for this book: Jessica Miremadi, Beth Suit, Megan Broussard, Jacquelyn Hansen, Lexi Ly, Mint Martijn Bkk, Amanda Halvorson, Jamie Lynn McBryan, Mireya Sauer, Melissa Danny-Diamond. Thank you so much for all your feedback. I really appreciate it.

And my support team: Rebecca Peters-Golden for your editing. Sarah Hansen at Okay Creations for your amazing covers. Julie Brazeal at ATOMR book tours for well-run promotions. Jessica Miremadi for kickass Polyvore boards. My daughter and assistant, Kenzie, for keeping me sane. Well, trying to.

And lastly, to my family. As always, you mean the world to me.

xoxo.