Текст книги "Suit"

Автор книги: Jettie Woodruff

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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

The next few days were trying. Paxton and I butted heads numerous times. I backed down when I knew I needed to, and held my own when I could. When I could get away with it. Paxton had a look about him when I knew it was enough. Sometimes he would give in when he didn’t want to. Those times were the ones that made me scratch my head. Wonder how in the hell I ended up with a guy like Paxton. A man with a short fuse and a control streak a mile long.

Like our Disney trip. He told me to make the plans. I made them with two very excited little girls. It wasn’t like I could read his mind. How was I supposed to know that he didn’t want to stay inside of Disney? That I was on a budget? He never said that. He told me to plan it and he’d take care of the payment. I did what he told me to do.

We’d just got done eating fresh salads with garden fresh squash. Paxton and Rowan had grilled chicken. Mine and Phi’s sprinkled with shredded Munster cheese. Phi was the new vegetarian, unwilling to eat the meat. She was a vegetarian like her mom. Until her dad wanted bacon or cheeseburgers. Then she’d would wait until next time to be a vegetarian. She was so funny.

“Why can’t I just have real chicken? Barbequed on the grill?” Paxton asked while taking around his salad.

I scooted Rowan’s glass of lemonade back when she almost spilled it and raised my eyebrows toward the sky. “You can. You can even add a half cup of Pepto if you want.”

“Funny.”

“True story,” I said with a little sass. It was true. Every time Paxton insisted on something greasy and fried, he was on the hunt for Rolaids or Pepto.

“I did fine with that stuff before.”

“Did you? Watch what you’re doing Row-row. You’re going to spill that.”

“Well, Daddy gave me the heavy glass.”

“You wanted that one,” Paxton said in an argumentative tone.

Her elbow straightened out on the table, her hand fell beside her plate, and she gave him her very serious look. “Well, I’m six.”

I laughed. I had to. It was too darn cute, and point blank. Like he should have known better than listen to a six year old. Epic.

Paxton changed the subject. Only because Paxton hated to be put in his place. “Ha, ha. Did you make plans for Ophelia’s birthday vacation?”

Ophelia was the one to answer. “Yes, and we’re going to stay in a pool. Right, Mommy?”

“Something like that. It’s a water resort. Two miles from the park. It’s so cool, Pax. Wait until you see it. We can spend a few days just relaxing there.”

“And there’s four water slides,” Rowan said while helping me out with the excitement card. I couldn’t wait.

Paxton pissed on my Cheerios as soon as he looked at my plans. He didn’t say it words, he didn’t put out the excitement fire the girls had burning, but he didn’t have to. The look he gave me and the two little lines on his forehead told me he was pissed.

It wasn’t until I started carrying things in from outside that he told me what his problem was. He helped. That right there was a dead giveaway. Paxton never helped me with chores. It wasn’t his job.

“California? You know the geographical distance between California and Florida, right? What the fuck was wrong with Orlando? Now we have to fly, too.  Four-hundred-twenty bucks a night? We’re you born this stupid?”

“Were you? Even the girls know the difference between Disneyland and Disney World. You said Disneyland. Disneyland is in California, not Florida. You didn’t say anything about any of that, Paxton. How was I supposed to know?” He did say Disneyland. I heard him with my own ears.

“How many nights?”

I sort of ducked behind myself, hunkering my shoulders to hide. “Five.”

“Great. I’ll be in my office for the next two weeks, trying to get enough work to pay for it. Come in there as soon as you get the girls to bed. I’m going to take about five grand out of your ass for the next two weeks.”

“Paxton, how can you be mad at me for something you told me to do?”

“You shouldn’t have told the girls without talking to me first. Now what? Are you going to go out there and pull the five star resort out from under them now? Tell them we’re staying at Super 8 instead?”

“I would, Paxton. They wouldn’t care. They’re happy just to go to Disney. Do we need money?”

I grunted a little when my back hit the door jam. Paxton’s hand habitually went around my throat, and his lips moved close to mine. “Money in this house is never your business. Your business is this house, those girls, and taking care of me. You got it, Slut?”

I shoved him as hard as I could. “Fuck you! I’m not a slut. Don’t call me that again. Don’t ever call me that again.”

Paxton stumbled two steps back with a look of utter shock. Eyes wide with a dropped jaw.

“Mom! Mom! Rowan spilled her drink.”

Paxton gathered his bearings with the distraction. “Walk away, baby girl.”

I did. I walked away with a roll of paper towels, and a pounding heart. Holy shit. I just shoved Paxton Pierce. I had a death wish.

Paxton didn’t lie about spending his time in his office. As much as I wanted to go to him, try to talk to him, and get him to see how much he was overreacting, I didn’t. I even let both girls fall asleep beside me on the couch so he would come out and carry them to bed. He did that, but he also ignored me.

I could see him busy at his desk. Engrossed in the papers in front of him and his computer screen. It took me at least ten minutes to get up the nerve to interrupt, but I finally did it. Fast with words running together. “They’re both out, Paxton. Can you carry them to bed?”

He looked up from his work still wearing reading glasses with dark frames. Damn. Paxton was one of those guys. Glasses looked sexy as hell on him. He slid them from his face and dropped them to his desk without a word or another glance.

Our eyes locked again when he lifted Rowan from my right arm. My eyes soft and pleading, hoping to lighten the mood. His was tainted and angry. Talk about pouting over spilled milk. Jesus Christ. I took a deep breath when he walked away, kissing Rowan’s blood head, and rubbed the whiplash out of my neck. The exact same thing was repeated with Ophelia. I didn’t get the time of day. Restricted eyes and a glare. That’s it. And there went the two steps back again.

Paxton walked right past me without another glance, back to his office. This time, closing the door. He never requested my presence to bend over his lap or his desk like he’d promised. As messed up as it sounds. I felt rejected and that made me sad.

I tucked both my Clydes in with kisses and left him alone in his office. What else was I supposed to do? I tried. I tried every day to please this man, and I couldn’t do it. Maybe a lavender bubble bath and a nice stiff drink would make it all go away.

That was a nice plan. One that didn’t work. I downed the drink, and I was out of the calming bubbles. Rowan and Ophelia dumped the rest of a half a bottle in my shower. They spent at least an hour, slipping and sliding in there while I sat on the counter and read a book that automatically downloaded on my tablet. Evidently I preordered months before. I was engrossed in this girl’s life and didn’t even realize what they were doing. Black Rain by Jettie Woodruff. I read it in one sitting and instantly preordered the next one. Luckily I only had to wait a few days. Perfect for vacation. It would be on my tablet before our upcoming vacation. An amazing book that had my total attention was the reason I didn’t have bubbles.

The drink was good, and I think it did help settle my nerves a little, but something else was weighing on my mind. I knew I was irrevocably in love with Paxton. Why? I had no clue. Paxton was the most difficult man on earth, and I was fascinated by him. I wasn’t stupid though. I didn’t know if my heart could do Paxton Pierce for a lifetime. This wasn’t working for me. I didn’t know if I could do this.

I didn’t get to go to Paxton’s office that night, or the next, or the next. Paxton worked late every night. He spent a couple hours with the girls in the evenings and ignored me even more. My excitement for our trip became less and less thrilling. I didn’t want to go anymore. Paxton proved to be more of a dick than I ever thought possible. Nine days. That’s how many days he worked late. That’s how many days he ignored me. Even sex. He didn’t touch me. Not even a kiss. When Paxton played the silent treatment card, Paxton meant business. I tried. I tried like hell to get through the thick skin with no avail. I gave up and dreaded the five day trip with him.

Paxton Pierce was an impossible man. One that no woman could please. Not even me.

Chapter Nineteen

 

Rowan and Ophelia were beside themselves the day we were set to take off on our trip. I packed all our clothes and had them loaded in the car before Paxton ever got home from work the night before. I was over it. Over his childish silent treatment, over the vacation, and over Paxton. I couldn’t do it anymore. Maybe before, but not now. Not anymore.

I’m the one who copped the attitude when we got to the airport. It was just before sunset, around eight o’clock. Paxton did that. He knew we were going to be in the air for a very long time. A night flight was perfect. My problem wasn’t the evening plans Paxton made. It was the airport, the plane, and his holier than thou attitude.

“Oh look, girls. A private plane,” I smartly said while I watched a two seated golf cart arrive to retrieve our things.

Paxton looked at me with a dark glare. “Don’t move.”

“Can we, Daddy? Can we get out?” Rowan and Phi asked, exciting adrenaline, pumping through their veins. I hated when he did that. Usually he was good about not being a dick around them, but sometimes he slipped. Or they overheard, like this time. They didn’t get it, not like I did. Thank God they were too excited to notice the dominance their father had over their mother.

Paxton smiled back at his prides and gave them their wish. “Yes, you can get out.”

I sat there like a good little girl and waited for permission to get out, too. Five minutes. That’s how long Paxton left me waiting. He talked to the pilot while the girls helped load the cart with our things. I played on my phone, fuming from the inside out. We couldn’t afford Disneyland, but we could afford private planes. Made perfect sense to me.

I defiantly held up a finger when Paxton opened the door. My phone was taken right out of my hand and placed in his shorts pocket. Jerk. I declined his hand and sidestepped him, smiling brightly at the girl’s excitement. One finger through my belt-loop stopped me.

“Calm down now, Pumpkin,” I heard in whisper through a smirk. Paxton did this shit on purpose. Not being used to this side of me, Paxton got off on me being disobedient.

A twist of my arm separated his body close to mine. I’ll give you pumpkin. Jerk. Paxton laughed behind me, and I shook my head. Not at him. At myself. I loved this Paxton. The playful one that liked me. I could tell myself a million times that I wouldn’t let myself get wrapped up in him the next time he decided to be normal. I promised myself that I would stay somber. Even when we had sex. I hadn’t had to worry about that. We hadn’t had sex. In nine days! That was the longest I’d gone without sex since I could remember. Inside jokes aside, that was a long time for me.

Paxton turning into this man twisted me into Jell-O. No matter how much I wanted to be stronger than him, show him what I was really made of, I couldn’t do it. I melted to this man. To this side of Paxton.

Paxton slowed his pace and answered his ringing phone, still laughing.

The lighthearted laugh turned to business in an instant, “Pierce Pools and Landscaping.”

I walked ahead, rolling my eyes. I was about to go to Disneyland with Rowan and Phi. I didn’t want to be angry, and Paxton couldn’t take my happy. This was too special. It’s not every day you turn five, let alone get to fly clear across the United States for your birthday.

I continued to enjoy my excitement with my two overzealous girls, paying little attention to the one sided conversation behind me. I wouldn’t have been a bit surprise if he didn’t do that the entire trip. I didn’t care, and I wasn’t letting him ruin this for me.

The plane was actually a lot bigger than it looked on the outside. An open sofa in front of a big screen television on one side, and four white-leather-seats on the other side faced each other.

That’s where we started, buckled up and ready for liftoff. Paxton sat directly in front of me with Ophelia by his side. We shared the excitement, talking back and forth as a family. Mommy and Daddy played games. Paxton kept giving me the eye, undressing me with his eyes. I watched them linger on my breasts, my lips, and my throbbing sex. He hadn’t even touched me and the sexual tension was crazy between us.

The flight started it all. A hole other can of worms. We ate snacks while we watched a movie on the C shaped sofa, talking through it with Disneyland excitement. The thrill of meeting Belle and Cinderella kept Phi and Rowan’s minds from focusing on anything else. I thought it was adorable.

The bear movie couldn’t keep my attention either. Paxton had that. His hand tenderly held mine, and he doted on me like he was madly in love. Surprise kisses and loving hands. I gave up. My hands were internally tossed into the air and I silently screamed in frustration.

Rowan crawled to Paxton’s lap and snuggled into his chest first, yawning with sleepy eyes. Ophelia called her a baby and assured her she wouldn’t be sleeping. No way. Not until she saw Disneyland.

Ten minutes later, I was slipping her shoes off her feet, and pulling her by the ankles to lie down. I may have leaned over in front of Paxton a little longer than needed. I figured I may as well play along. Enjoy it while it lasted.

My breath caught in my chest when I felt his hand slide up the inside of my leg. Score. We have lift off. My lady parts instantly reacted. Between my legs and behind my bra. Nine days was a really long time.

I turned with eyes smoldering in rebellion, forcing his hand off my leg. I held the gaze while I slipped Rowan’s sandals from her feet, too. Paxton slid from beneath her body and laid her down with a kiss to her blonde hair. I moved to sit below her feet, but he stopped me by taking my hand. We stepped to the side and he pulled a blue-velvet-curtain closed.

A wave to the four seats on the other side was my direction to sit. Things felt awkward between us for a little bit. Paxton sat across from me and crossed an ankle over his knee, folding one arm over another.

I crossed my arms, too. Defiantly. My head tilted to the side and I put him in his place. Sort of. “I’m not giving into you being a dick. That was totally uncalled for. You’ve been an ass for nine straight days.”

His head leaned in the same direction as mine with a smile. The silly one. The one I loved. The one that turned me into mush.

“Damn. You sure you don’t want call it truce? I feel like this trip would be a lot more fun if you told me you learned your lesson and moved forward from here.”

A loud scream echoed in my head, telling my vagina to calm down. No way. I wasn’t backing down. What was he going to do? Throw me out of the plane? My expression matched the nod of my head, assuring Paxton of my submission. Just when he smiled in victory, I kicked his feet from under him.

“Um, no. Fuck you. That was stupid, Paxton. You’ve treated me like I didn’t exist for nine straight days.”

“It was an experiment. I haven’t had to do that in, God, like three years. You’ll be begging for it before you know it. That’s the lesson you need to learn. I let you come. Don’t ever forget that. I’m just wondering if I should add another nine days for the fuck you.”

Nope. This wasn’t the way it was going down. Two could play this game. I scooted from my seat, stood right in front of him, and unfastened my shorts. His jaw dropped a little and his eyes shifted to my fingers. One leg went to each side of him, and the zipper echoed.  Paxton’s head tilted up while my lips moved close to his. My hips swirled into him, grinding in a circular motion.

“Go for it, baby boy. Let’s see who caves first,” I said in a low sultry tone. Each word touched his lips and I way overstepped my boundaries. Maybe he would be nice enough to give me a parachute. I didn’t wait for Paxton kiss to me. I did it. I parted his lips with mine and grinded into his hips again, making out like a couple newlyweds. Like we were in love. The make out session lasted for at least twenty minutes. He grew harder, I grew wetter, and desire ignited around us.

My panting breaths mixed with needing moans when his hands found the soft skin below my shirt. Just my back. That’s it. That’s how much power Paxton Pierce had over my body. That was when I would do anything the man told me to do. Tenfold.

“I hate you,” Paxton said with broken words spoken between light kisses to my throat.

I moved my smile to his lips and kissed him. A sigh escaped with the change in my expression. I sat back and moved my eyes to my lap. “No you don’t. You don’t hate me at all, that’s why this is so hard for you. You’re too busy trying to make me someone I don’t remember to enjoy what we have here.”

Paxton moved his eyes to mine and made me look at him. “Passion changes things, huh?”

I smiled back and took a deep breath. “Big time,” I said in agreement. My head nodding to my chest.

Paxton’s head dropped that time. His finger flipped my zipper, up and down while the throb between my legs went crazy. The flip back up barely brushed over my overzealous nub.

“I’m the one who’s supposed to torture you. You’re the one who is supposed to beg me let you come. That’s how it is. Not like this.”

Now would have probably been a good time for a serious conversation. He finally talking, opening up bit by bit, but I didn’t want to talk about feelings. I wanted sex.

“You are torturing me. Let’s go in the bathroom and fuck at thirty-thousand-feet.

Paxton shushed me with his lips when I screamed a little. He stood in half a second, taking me unexpectedly with him.

Had I known the bathroom was big enough for a broom and a dustpan, I might have suggested an alternative. The wing maybe. We tried to do it with my shorts down to my knees, but that didn’t work. I had to step out of the bathroom to get them off. We tried standing up, me straddling his waist. That didn’t work either. There was so much passion searing around us and nothing worked. The hand sanitizer dug into the middle of my back.

“Ouch, stop. Put my feet down,” I said while wiggling away. Paxton asked why, but I didn’t answer I spun toward the sink and bent over as much as I could.

“Damn, baby. You’re so fucking wet,” he rasped while his cock slid up and down my slippery folds. I moaned in pleasure every time his head touched my clit. And then I froze.

“Can I?” he asked with his head at the pucker in my ass.

A surge of adrenalines went through me when I realized what he was asking. “Um … Did we do that before? Did I like it? I don’t feel like I did,” I said while rattling off nervous run-on-sentences.

“No, that was your one and only stipulation, but before you wouldn’t even let me use a finger.”

I snorted and looked over my shoulder. “And you listened?”

“I know, right. It wasn’t much fun. Not before anyway. I love the way your hips wiggle into my finger, inviting me in.”

My cheeks burned and I lied, thinking about the few times that he had used a finger. “That wasn’t an invitation.”

“No?” he questioned while his fingers picked up my arousal slid in. Just the tip. A middle finger I think. I hesitated not about to move, to get busted in a lie. Not a muscle moved, not even a breath. Not until he did the reach around. One pinch to my aching core had me pressing back.

Paxton took the lead by a head when I pushed back. He was the one to stay perfectly still that time. All but the twisting back and forth he did on my clit, that is. I whimpered and backed up more.

“That’s it my little slut, come to your owner.”

I was so messed up in the head. His gravely tone and dominate victory chilled me to the bone. I can’t really call it a premonition because I didn’t really see a vison. It was more like a knowing. I liked it. Paxton was the poison and I liked it. What the hell was wrong with me?

Paxton was a pro. Paxton knew exactly how to set up a plan. Bait the hook for later. I whimpered when he slowly removed his finger and slid into me.

“I might let you have that later. Not in a bathroom. Not now.”

From the time Paxton slid into me, to the time we were both spent, may have been five minutes. I didn’t make it that long. That was a second one for me. That’s how crazy turned on I was.

Once we were finished I stayed behind and cleaned up. Paxton opened the door and I turned to look at him, not expecting him to be looking back. The look in his eyes and the tone in his voice told me I had just chipped away a little more. I would take it.

“You’re driving me crazy.”

I smiled and placed my hand on the door. “You love it.” The door broke our contact and let the back of my head beat off the wall. He did love it, and I loved the crazy I caused. Truth was, he caused the same crazy in me. He knew that, too.

I curled up on Paxton’s arm with a soft white blanket when I returned. His typing fingers stopped for a moment while his ego reacted to me watching him work.

“Is that going to be a waterfall?” I asked with my finger pointing to rock-wall in the making. His lips kissed my head and he replied. I relaxed.

“I’m not sure yet. This is the job that’s kept me late all week. It’s a lot of space. The guy wants four-thousand-square-feet turned into a retreat.”

“Wow, I bet that’s expensive.”

Talking to Paxton like this made me the happiest girl on the planet. “That’s the problem. His budget is a quarter-million-dollars. I need at least three-hundred to pull off what he’s expecting.”

I studied the landscaping design in front of him with constricted eyes. “That’s a huge waterfall. Why so big?”

“He wants a waterslide going down the middle. Thirty feet. That’s a lot of stone. Stones not cheap around these parts. Not to mention I have to break up a hug slab of concrete. Twenty five by eighteen. That’s an expense on its own.”

I moved a little, repositioning myself for a better view. “You could use those. The pieces. They’re free. It would be all profit.”

“Shut-up. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh really? Well I’ll have you know, you can stack them and use a mixture of concrete and three different colors of dioxide for the stone look. Mix it up like porridge shovel it on. Let it gravitate toward the bottom before you shape it into a stones. It’s easier to work with that way. Oh, it’s better because you’re not giving any little creatures a habitat to bread. Nobody wants snakes or lizards hanging out at their pool. Good selling point,” I added not missing a beat. “Maybe you could even put a couple deeper holes to plant some color.” That’s when I stopped. My eyes went to Paxton’s, looking just as shocked as his. I snorted and smiled. “I have no idea how I know that. I wonder if there’s any truth behind it.”

Paxton didn’t blink an eye. He stared over at me like I had just figured out Newton’s Law. Like building waterfalls was my specialty. He finally grunted when I elbowed him in the ribs.

“What’s wrong with you? Stop looking at me like that.”

“You’re a fucking genius. That could work. That could work and I could make one hell of a profit off this job. I’m going to look into that. I don’t get it. You just rattled that shit off like you did it every day.”

My eyebrows turned toward inward and my nose scrunched with a silly smile. “Right? Where did that come from?”

“Where do you want a waterfall? I have a whole pile behind my shop from an old basement I dug out. I don’t want to go to Disneyland. I want go home and build a waterfall.”

I laughed and snuggled back into his side. This was going to be a good trip. I felt it deep in my soul. Paxton talked about his plans for the property, totally asking my opinion. Again, I gave my opinion and he listened. For the first time since I met him, I felt like he valued me as a person. Not just a piece of meat, a maid, and cook. Like I mattered.

I closed my eyes when he moved the shrubs around for the fifth time. I yawned and felt a kiss to my head. A relaxing calm blanketing me with love and admiration. It might have taken a lot of time and effort, but I was sure we were going to beat this thing. We had to. People didn’t have this much gravitational pull toward one another without it being real. It was real, and I would take the days like this and deal with the other ones for as long as I could handle it.

~~

“We’re you headed, pretty little thing.”

I didn’t have to turn around to know Tommy Boy’s voice. His arm went around my neck and I smelled the sweat from his armpit.

“I have to go home. Ms. Porter needs her medicine.”

“When we gonna hang out, Yo? You never want to do anything but school work. You gotta live a little. Have some fun. Tell you what. How about you meet me on your stoop at eleven tonight. The old bag will be half dead by then.”

“I can’t. Sorry. I’ll see ya around.”

I tried to get away from him, but he wouldn’t let me. Three other guys enclosed me, one I didn’t even know from our hood. He was young. Like me. The other three were Falcon’s age. Old enough to know better.

“Leave me alone. I’ll scream,” I threatened, my heart pounding heavy in my chest. I was a pea next to one of them, let alone three of them.

“Leave me alone, I’ll scream,” The ring leader patronized me by mimicking my words. I bet his heart wasn’t pounding though. Not like mine.

“Stop it,” I said again, repeating myself over and over. The young one was the daring one.

“Stop it,” Tommy said again in a whiny tone. Mine wasn’t whiny. Mine was scared shitless. Shaky and full of fear. Fear that pumped rapidly through my veins.

I didn’t see what happened directly after that. The next thing I knew I was somewhere else. Somewhere besides the street that I kept myself planted on.

I was an initiation. A seventeen-year-old helping a thirteen year old get into the Birds. A commencement into a gang. Three of them held me down and watched while the newest member did whatever he wanted to me. And just when I thought I was done, the other three helped themselves, too. They didn’t care about me. They didn’t care about my cries, my pleas to stop. They didn’t care. Nobody cared.

I knew where I was because it wasn’t the first time I’d been on that nasty mattress. Falcon took me there when his momma was home. But nobody else. Everyone knew better. The thought of asking for the drugs Tommy Boy promised crossed my mind. I wanted to go there. Where my mom used to go when a needle was inserted to her veins. To a better place.

I ran all the way to Ms. Porters, tears streaking my face for solitude. For a sign of one decent human being. Somebody who cared.

“Where the fuck have you been? I could have stroked out waiting for my medicine.”

It wasn’t her. She didn’t even see the devastation on my face. She wanted her TV dinner and another glass of wine. That’s all she cared about.

“I’m talking to you, you little slut. I knew it. I knew it would just be a matter of time before you started spreading your legs for every black boy in this neighborhood. That where you been, slut?”

I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to die. I wanted my twin. That’s when I ran. I went to my small bedroom and packed only what I had to have. A few clothes, a stuffed moon, and seven dollars that I had been saving to run away. Money I kept back every time Ms. Porter sent me to the store.

That would get me to the end of the street, but I didn’t care. I left anyway. I left with Ms. Porter calling after me.

“Hey, where you going? Get back here, you little slut.” I ran until I couldn’t run anymore.

 

~~

              My eyes opened to me on my computer. Not this me. The before me. Paxton was watching a muted video of him behind me. My heart hurt and I understood why. Why I looked like a robot when he touched me. I shut down. I shut all the way down. The only expression I showed was blank. Had I not seen Paxton pounding me from behind, I would have never known we were even going at it.

“Paxton?”

The screen instantly closed in front of me. I didn’t even care about that. I just didn’t want to remember anymore. I knew what was happening. I read about it. Some trauma patients remembered in steps. Their brain rested and gave them just enough each time. It wasn’t even like a memory, but it was. I knew it happened, and I knew that’s why I had nothing for Paxton then. I wanted it to stop. I didn’t want to remember anymore. My life was better off from this point forward. Post-accident.

“What?” he said, barely a whisper.

I swallowed the lump and spoke through the horsiness. “Will you put your arm around me?”

I moved a little and snuggled into his chest. Eyes wide open. I wasn’t about to go back to sleep. I wasn’t sure I’d ever sleep again. I had enough. I didn’t want to remember.