Текст книги "Suit"
Автор книги: Jettie Woodruff
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Текущая страница: 1 (всего у книги 19 страниц)
This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locations are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used fictitiously. All other characters, dead or alive are a figment of my imagination and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author’s mind's eye and are not to be interpreted as real.
All rights Reserved.
Copyright © 2015 Jettie Woodruff
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the author.
Acknowledgements
I have no clue where to even begin. This has been a crazy year. I’ve met some amazing new author friends, and I’ve gained a crazy fan base. I wouldn’t be where I am today without both of them. THANK YOU!
To all the blogs who do what they do. Hats off to you, my friends. My dirty girl group. Thank you for following me the way you do, thank you for being there when my son had his accident, and thank you for all the kind words and donations. I love you guys!!!
Team J. You guys ROCK! All of you!
Nikki Reeves, girl—
I don’t know what I would do without you. Lesley Edwards, Catharine Gray, Connie Thompson, Erin McFarland, Karen Benton, Tiffany Daniels, Brandi Reeves, Katie Theobald, and Amy Davis. My awesome review team. You guys are my rock. Thanks for being there for every single book, through all the changes, the start overs, and the altering stories and plots. I <3 you.
Tabatha Thompson for singing me Journey.
Jenna Dixon, you are my shining star! Thanks for all your help, for answering my annoying messages, and for all the love and support. I don’t know what I would do without you. I <3 you!
Sheila Howell, Thank you for all you do for me. M. Robinson, well…Who would have thought? Heather Moss. Thanks for a rocking, blog tour and all the help.
YOU ROCK!
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Jillian Toth and Karen Steer, Best Proofreaders Ever. Thank YOU!
http://karensbookhaven.com/editing-services/
Rebecca Marie
For the best teasers and graphics this side of Texas!
http://www.thefinalwrap.com/
TO ALL MY FANS AND FOLLOWERS!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Prologue
The room filled with darkness as the heavy clouds lingered over the neighborhood.
“Is it going to storm now?” Rowan asked as she joined me at the window. I smiled down at her and ran my hand through her long hair. My palm rested on her back, covering it entirely as we stared up at the sky, the earlier bright blue gone, replaced with a cold, charcoal gray.
“Pretty soon. Are you all set in case we lose our power?” The wild energy of the storm loomed before us, sending a rush of rain-scented air and a prickle of apprehension up my spine.
“I don’t like it when it storms.”
“I like it,” Ophelia interjected, her little body squeezing between her sister and me. She wanted to see the storm, too.
“Are you kidding me? It’s fun,” I lied. I hated them, too. Had ever since I was a little girl. Rowan was the same way.
Ophelia cupped one hand over her brow as if the sun was bright. Up to a sun hidden somewhere behind dark clouds.
I sucked my lips between my teeth to keep from laughing. “I don’t see it. Where’s the storm?”
“Can I sleep in your bed?” Rowan asked, worry in her crystal-blue eyes. Rowan looked up for the answer and I grinned at her, brushing a lock of her blond hair aside.
“I was talking first, Rowan,” Ophelia said with angry words and a shove.
“Hey, stop that. We’ll see, Rowan. Let’s run to the store and pick up a few things. Just in case. Maybe we can stop at the park for a little bit. I’m going to go tell daddy we’re leaving. You clean up your crayons. There’s one under the sofa, too,” I said with a nod toward the coffee table. I turned my attention toward her sister, ordering her help with the mess. “Ophelia, help pick up the crayons.”
Ophelia did a flip over the sofa, assuring me upside down that she had nothing to do with it. “I didn’t do it. Rowan dumped them all out.”
Rowan dramatically complained. Full-on attitude, cocked hip and all. “I did not. You did it when you were looking for the green one. You’re lying. She is, Mom.”
I walked away from the front room with a stern look, a straight finger pointed from one to the other. I reminded them with a gesture toward the door that their father was home. That quieted the argument. Paxton had worked at home that day, giving his crew the afternoon off in order to get ready for the approaching weather.
The tinted glass at the end of the hall did little to hide the impending conditions. It didn’t look like the tropical storm was going to miss us. The last time I had looked, the swirling red circle on TV aimed a dead hit at us. I prayed that it was wrong. The weatherman always got it wrong. Maybe it would turn at the last minute.
With a deep breath of courage, I knocked on Paxton’s office door. I hadn’t seen him since breakfast. Unsure of his mood, I hesitated and then tapped lightly.
“Yes?” Okay, that didn’t sound too bad. At least it wasn’t a hateful “What?” His tone sounded distracted, like he was busy. I pushed the door open and entered the office. Work didn’t occupy him. Instead, the update on the weather had his attention. Paxton’s eyebrows turned inward, one finger in the air, indicating I wait while he listened to the drama behind the chaos. As soon as he dropped his finger and looked at me with a nod, I spoke.
“I’m going to run to the store for a few things before it makes landfall.”
“Didn’t you just go to the store a couple of days ago?”
“Yes, but if we lose power, the store will be out of milk in a day. I forgot milk—and I better pick up a case of water, too. Is the generator ready to go?”
“The generator is not your department. Milk, however, is. You’re so irresponsible,” Paxton said with a heavy sigh and a frown. “Tell me… How does a mother forget milk? You only have two things to take care of. Two little girls and a home.” He stood and walked to the front of his desk where he rested his butt, a condescending glare on me
I wished that were the case. A house and two little girls meant way more than two things to take care of. If he came home and told me he signed the girls up for one more activity, I may have killed him. I didn’t need to remind him of what I did around there. Not that I could have anyway. He would have just shut me up. Besides, I didn’t really mind it. I loved my job. I took pride in my home and my family, keeping everything running smoothly just the way Paxton liked them.
I did, however, remind him why I hadn’t gotten everything I needed. “It was the day Rowan got stung by a bee. She was crying. I was in a hurry.”
Paxton crossed his ankles and rubbed his chin in deep thought. “Oh, right. That was the day you let her get stung by a bee.”
I held his gaze because I had to. Just like I didn’t speak until he did. I wasn’t about to comment on that one. No matter what I said, it would be the wrong answer. The bee had been in the car. It wasn’t like I’d told her go step on a bee. She’d swatted at it and it landed right between her legs where it stung her. Just above her knee.
“Don’t take the girls.”
“Why? I promised Rowan we would go to the park.”
“Go to the store and get back. If this storm keeps coming like this, we’re going inland. We’ll get a hotel somewhere. Don’t take the girls. She’s got the playset right out back that I built. They can play outside here. One hour,” Paxton ordered while he held my stare and talked to me in short sentences like I was five. With one finger in the air, he shot me a stern glare, and waited for a reply.
“Yes, okay,” I cowered and cast my gaze toward the floor.
“Close the door on your way out” he ordered with a brusque goodbye. He lowered his head, dismissing me.
I obeyed with a soft exhale and left his office.
“Jake said Rowan is a boy name,” Rowan claimed out of the blue as I entered the living room. My eyebrows arched toward the ceiling, wondering where that came from. Her attention moved from the television to the crayon box. I had no idea why she said that. She hadn’t even seen Jake since dance class, two days before. I sat beside her on the sofa and stared up at the preschool show on television.
“He did? Well, it’s not. Rowan is a queen of an enchanted land. In a perfect parallel world.”
“Where’s that?”
“In here.” I winked at her, fingers tapping lightly over her heart. “It’s where people never get sick, they’re always happy, and they love each other wholeheartedly.”
“And I’m the queen?” Rowan questioned with an impish grin.
“And me, too?” Ophelia wanted to know.
“Yes, for sure. You’re both my little queens.” I gathered my purse and an umbrella. “Now, I’m going to get going before the rain starts. I’ll be back in a little bit.”
Rowan slid from the couch, not about to be left behind. “You said I could come, too.”
“I know, but I want to get back before it storms. I’ll bring you something.”
“I started your car. Let’s go find a snack, Rowan,” Paxton said from the door. That was his subtle way of telling me he checked the mileage on my odometer.
I stood and thanked him.
“I’m going with my mommy,” Rowan insisted as her little hand slid into mine.
“And me, too,” Ophelia said just as persistent. She stood, took two steps, and tripped over her own feet. Paxton and I both turned toward the thump and laughed. She jumped up like a trooper and took my other hand.
“Neither one of you are going. There’s a tropical storm coming. Let your mom go so she can get back here. Who wants ice cream?”
Of course that did it. They both tossed little arms in the air, yelling in agreement, “Meeeee.”
Rowan took off, heading toward the kitchen, fixated on ice cream, Ophelia right behind. Rowan skipped like a pro, and her little sister followed suit with a hop, a skip, and a jump. She tried like hell to follow her big sister’s professional moves, but didn’t quite have it. Close, but not quite. I beamed after her, completely in love as she yelled her intent to have the pink spoon.
Paxton strolled toward me, a smirk in a thin line across his lips. His hand pulled me to his body from the small of my back and I fell into him. “Do you have any idea how sexy you are? I love this dress. Now if you just had a little lipstick. Red lips. Hmmm,” he hummed while whispering warm words in my ear. After a long moment of taunting me with soft kisses, he said, “You should probably get going.” His lips caressed my skin and I held my breath. It was Florida. If he thought I was sexy, it wasn’t from trying. I had my hair in a messy bun on top of my head and I wore little makeup, a plain maxi-dress, and sandals. And I sure as hell wasn’t about to wear lipstick.
“I’ll see you in a little bit.” I pulled away and he drew me back, holding my fingers with his. His thumb brushed over my hand while his eyes held mine.
“According to the weather channel, we have about four hours to buckle down.”
“I promise to be home before the storm,” I said with a hidden sneer. For a split second, I thought I’d pulled off the sarcasm. But Paxton knew exactly what lay behind my words. The storm wasn’t supposed to hit for another four or so hours. I couldn’t be ten minutes late. Never mind four hours.
Paxton narrowed his eyes with a crooked grin and patted my ass. “Hurry back, love.”
I walked out to my car, which Paxton had already backed out of the garage. I’d hit a trashcan once. One time. Now Paxton always backed it out for me, leaving the motor idling as if I didn’t know how to start a car. Another way for him to be better than me, make me feel less than him. It didn’t bother me, not really. I’d grown used to it, and this was a brand-new car. It was mine, bought for me…but not really. He would be quick to remind me that it was in his name if need be. That and everything else within my sight.
A cool shudder traveled down my spine when I felt the eerie atmosphere. The neighborhood sounded quiet, matching the gloomy overcast. My eyes drifted to the time on the clock as I backed out of my drive, just after two. It seemed more like nine o’clock at night. Even the neighborhood seemed glum, with empty yards and boarded-up windows.
My eyes shifted to my neighbor’s house. My best friend—for now, anyway. I sighed and shook my head. I couldn’t think about that. Not now. I’d think about that later, when I had to. The liftgate was up on Candace’s car and a black duffle bag sat on the ground. Lane must have decided they were going inland. I hoped we were, too. I wasn’t overjoyed about the rain and wind, pelting our house half the night. It gave me the creeps just thinking about it. My other neighbors, Tricia and Brant, must have gone already. The ghostly atmosphere of their house matched the neighborhood. A tire swing in the side yard swayed lightly with the wind.
How eerie.
There’d been something I thought of earlier that I wanted to add to my list. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what it was. I searched my brain and frowned at the mirror when I watched the strange car pull out behind me. The old Honda didn’t appear to belong on our cul-de-sac—nothing about it rang as familiar. I turned the annoying voice down on the radio, reminding us again of the tropical storm. They were repeating the same thing. Over and over. We probably wouldn’t get any of it.
“Band-Aids,” I called aloud, still watching the car behind me. My girls went through more Band-Aids than anyone I knew. Every little scratch justified a bandage. I turned right, and the car behind me followed. A shortcut to the left had the same results. That’s when the surge of nerves hit.
My heart sped up a bit when I saw the driver. Was it? Surely not. My eyes stayed focused on the driver while the beating in my chest thumped faster and faster. I pulled into the First Carter Bank parking lot with trembling hands, a dry mouth, and a yearning stronger than I had ever felt in my life. The old car followed, parking right beside me. She didn’t waste any time. Not one second. She was at my door in two point seven seconds.
My hand covered my mouth with an audible breath and tears instantly formed in my eyes. I blinked away my blurred vision and opened the door. Words can’t begin to describe that feeling. I didn’t know if it was a sister thing or a twin thing, but it was there. A bond that can never be broken. Strong like it always had been. Seeing her face, knowing she was right in front of me, watching her walk toward me. It was all so surreal. It was her. My sister. My twin. A hazy ache formed in my chest, settling to the pit of my stomach. My entire body shook with anticipation, and I could hear beating with loud thumps in both my ears.
I was blindsided for a second, unsure of what I should call her. Choosing the safe route, I didn’t refer to her by any name.
“Oh, my God. What are you doing here?” It was haunting. I didn’t even remember getting out of my car. It was like seeing myself, but not really. She even wore a similar dress and had her hair back. I read once that twins separated at birth and raised apart often lived the same way. Her taste was the same as mine. I swear, it was like seeing myself in a mirror. Even more now than before.
Her fingers ran through her hair and she pulled on it with a tight grasp in both fists. The expression on her face surpassed the surprise on mine, and I noticed the swallow. A lump. Probably the same as the one I had. “Gabby! Oh, my God!”
“Izzy, what are you doing here?” Not waiting for her answer, I said, “I don’t have much time. I’ve got to get going.” My palms sweated and my body shook as if Paxton watched from around the corner. I wrung my hands and worried about this outcome. It was critical that Paxton not find out about this.
Izzy gawked at me like I had just slapped her across the face. Twice. Complete disbelief. “Are you joking? You desert your sister for almost thirteen years, and you’ve got to get going?”
My head tilted to the side, guilt riding my conscience. “I didn’t desert you,” I said in an unconvincing tone.
Izzy smiled and tilted her head the exact same way I had. Paxton used to tell me to stop doing it all the time. Sometimes, I still did it, forgetting that he forbade it.
“I’m kidding. How are you? You look, well, just like me.” Everything in me told me to brush her off, continue on my mission, and get home to my family. I tried my best to send her away. It was right there on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to sit on my sofa with her and catch up. Huddle up in pajamas and watch a movie. Find out what she’d been doing and let her meet her nieces.
I mirrored her smile and tilted my head—again—thinking about the ticking of the clock. I didn’t have time for this. Paxton would be furious if I came home empty handed. I had to go, yet I didn’t. I couldn’t. A hurricane could have been coming and I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. I laughed inwardly at my inside joke when I remembered a hurricane was coming. A tropical storm, anyway.
“Let’s go get a cup of coffee or something,” Izzy suggested with a pleading tone and sad eyes. I couldn’t blow her off. I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to.
“Izz, I can’t. We’re under severe weather warnings, you know? I have to get home. Rowan doesn’t do well with storms.”
Even with the smoky gray clouds, Izzy’s grin brightened the day. “Rowan? Boy or girl?”
That brought an instant grin to my face. God, I’d missed her. “Little girl—two girls. Rowan is six and Ophelia will be five in two months. They’re so cute, Izzy.” The sense of pride edged my words while a feeling of deep love burned my soul. I wished they could know her. I wished they could call her Aunt Izzy. The thought of them seeing us both brought joy to my heart. I pictured their confusion while they tried to figure out which one was their mommy.
“I can’t wait to meet them. How are you? Wow, Gabby. Two kids.” Izzy hugged me and I closed my eyes. There’s a feeling between twins that can’t be explained. In an instant, I felt whole again. I hugged her back, embracing her with everything in me, everything I had missed.
“Let’s go for a ride,” Izzy said in a coaxing tone with the same desperate plea, head tipping to the side. Her hands held a tight grip on my shoulders while her eyes fixated on mine. God. It was her. I couldn’t believe it.
My gaze darted to my phone when I realized the time. Paxton would be livid. I searched my brain for the best time to meet her. A time when Paxton wouldn’t be with me. Rowan’s dentist appointment. That was the best I could come up with. Paxton would be busy with his work. I grabbed my purse from the seat when the idea came to me. I handed her the appointment card with the address. Without thinking it through of course. Rowan and Ophelia would race to be the first one to tell their dad about Izzy. Someone who looked identical to their mommy.
“Meet me here tomorrow. I’ll come a little bit early.”
“Wait. Where’re you going? I haven’t seen you in almost thirteen years. You’re ditching me?” Izzy stared at me, eyebrows scrunched toward her nose with confusion and hurt written all over her face.
Silence stood between us while I tried to obey my husband. I knew it was a bad idea before I agreed, but it was so good to see her. I missed her. I missed us. I would make up some lie to tell Paxton and hope for the best. Maybe I could say I got stuck behind a wreck or something. Traffic. That wouldn’t be a lie. The road was a lot more crowded than normal. People like me, out for supplies, or going inland to get away from the storm.
I looked up to the dark clouds hovering above our heads with a heavy sigh. “We’ll go for a short ride,” I said in agreement. Izzy smiled with excitement and jumped in the passenger seat of my car. That worried me, too. Paxton would know. Her butt would leave a print in the new leather, she’d lose an earring, or her shoes would leave dirt. He’d find out some way.
Izzy’s fingers glided over the tan leather. “Wow, nice ride. I bet this cost a pretty penny. I love this.”
Personally, I hated the tan. I’d wanted the gray. Paxton had wanted the tan. “It’s not as much as you think. Paxton just knows people. He got a good deal.”
“It’s a Lexus,” she said with a nod and a smirk, fingers brushing over the soft leather in front of her. “I don’t care how good a deal he got. This car cost a shiny penny.”
I stared at her, unbelieving. Izabella really sat there, in my car. Right next to me. “It’s new. Paxton just picked it up yesterday,” I said while rambling off word vomit. I didn’t know what to say. All these years of rehearsing it, of practicing what I would say. Gone. Noting came to mind.
“You look great, Izzy,” I said. A feeling of nostalgia blanketed me when I glanced at her and remembered us. Gabby and Izzy. Jonnie and Clydes.
“I’m a carbon copy of you, silly,” Izzy said in a quiet tone.
“You do amazingly resemble me. It’s a little creepy. We could swap clothes and you could take my place. We’ll swap lives for a while,” I said with a laugh. If she only knew how I wished we could. Like we did when we were kids. There was only one person we could never fool. We tried. We tried many times and she always knew. Our mother could tell us apart from fifty feet away.
Izzy dropped her eyes and crossed her ankle over her knee. “Yeah, you wouldn’t want my life.”
“Don’t tell me that, Izz. I’ve always pictured you with a really cool job, happy and in love.”
“It’s sort of that way,” she said through a lie. Even after all these years, I could tell she wasn’t telling me the truth.
“What have you been doing? Tell me? Did you go to school?”
“I did go to school. Want to know what for?”
A concrete smirk froze on my lips. “Duh! Of course.”
“Business, landscaping, and design.”
My heart felt a pang of longing, but I wasn’t sure what for. Missing all of that, or wanting it. I never got to go to college. “I’m not surprised by that. You were just like mom. Always needing to be on the move and outside. I can see you doing that. So you have your own business?”
Izzy played with the strap on her sandal with a troubled expression. I internally smiled when I realized her shoes were almost identical to mine. Other than the gold buckle, mine were just likes hers. Her closed-mouth grin faded into a frown, and then it returned. “Nah, not really. I tried it, but it didn’t really take off. I live in Michigan; not really the market for something like that. I need to move to Los Angeles or something. Ya know?”
“Is that the plan?” I questioned, returning her frown.
Izzy sighed, a look of shame and disappointment marring her face. But then she smiled. “I doubt it. I don’t know. It takes a lot of money. I’m working as a waitress on the side. Weekend tips pay pretty good.” Izzy’s grin wasn’t convincing. It seemed fake. Something weighed heavy on her mind. I could tell Izzy had trying events in her life, too. I wanted to hear all about it, every last detail of the past thirteen years. Everything.
“Oh, yeah? Where?” I tried not to sound depressed. I wanted her to have the fairytale, the one where she was happy, in love, and successful. I suddenly thought of Paxton and his fury. The digital clock screamed for me to turn around and go home where I belonged.
Izzy laughed and jiggled her boobs. “Hooters.”
I giggled and glanced away from the clock. I need this time with her.
“You’re doing all right for yourself. I love your house, the neighborhood, the beach. You live by a beach! Oh, my God, Gabby,” she said with happy excitement.
“I know. Who would have thought, right? Do you have someone, Izzy? Are you married, kids?”
Izzy playfully drummed a rimshot off the dashboard with two fingers, the kind a drummer plays after a joke. “No kids, and I just got out of an eight-month relationship. Before that, I was just a slut, trying to drink you away.”
She meant it to be cute and happy. I didn’t feel that way. “That makes me sad, Izz. You drink?”
“Nah, not much. I’m fine. I had a decent upbringing. I’ve made mistakes, but hey, who hasn’t, right?”
I stared up the street and agreed. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Let’s go somewhere and talk. I want to hear all about these little girls.”
The market loomed ahead on the right. I knew with everything in me that I should turn in, go to the store, drop Izzy back off at her car, and go home. That’s what I should have done.
The pit of my stomach balled and tightened. A gut feeling. That dreaded instinct when you know you’re doing something wrong, or you can sense something bad about to happen. I passed the parking lot with a deep sigh.
It was worth it. I would deal with Paxton later. For an afternoon with my sister, I would face Paxton’s wrath. With no direction in mind, I drove through town and took the next right. My nerves jerked a little when I realized I’d driven way past my boundaries. Paxton would be furious when he checked my mileage. I had gone past my seven-mile allowance within minutes. Three point two miles each way. That gave me a little bit in case I needed to detour around a block or something. I was at nine. That was two miles over.
“Remember when mama would pull us out of bed in the middle of the night, needing to run. The stupid games we played on our way to our next destination?”
My lips turned upward while thinking about it, allowing the memory to creep back in. “Do you think she really ever knew where we were going?”
“Hell no. Why do you think we slept in the car half our life?”
“True, but think about it, Izz. We didn’t care where we slept, how long we stayed, or where we went next. Remember how we would park underneath bridges and climb up the concrete walls every time it rained? We didn’t even care that we were eating peanut butter sandwiches again.”
“Yeah, we would sit up there and listen to the rain while mom told us stories of how our lives were about to change. Remember how she always promised we were going to have our own house with matching twin beds?”
“Or the dirt roads we would take for the hell of it? Like taking all rights. There is no way in hell she knew where we would end up. Not like that.”
“Jonnie and her Clydes,” I concluded, lifting the corners of my mouth in wistful memory. That’s what she used to call us. She did have a boy name. Unfortunate for her, she’d been born without a penis. Her parents still named her Jonnie. After a dead uncle or something.
“I’m Jonnie, and these are my Clydes. Get it, Jonnie and Clyde?” Izabella said, voice mimicking our mother’s. She always said that. Every time we met someone new, she’d stick out her hand and introduce us as Jonnie and Clyde. The name was perfect. It suited us just fine. Most little girls got cute nicknames, like Princess and Half Pint. Izzy and I got the same one. Clyde. If my mom yelled for Clyde she meant both of us. I was Clyde and Izzy was Clyde, and we were Jonnie and Clyde.
“Want to go right?” I asked, eyes twinkling to match the smile on my face. Izzy was here. Izzy sat beside me. My Clyde. I told myself that I wouldn’t go far, maybe turn around at the next stop sign. That was my plan. An uneasy feeling bubbled in the bottom of my stomach. The darker the clouds became, the more the strong breeze picked up. The treetops swayed back and forth, whipping wildly across the ominous sky as sporadic gusts of wind shook the car.
Izzy’s eyes grew larger and she nodded. “Uh, yeah!” Thirteen years had been such a long time to be away from her. How surreal. I always knew we would find each other again. I just didn’t know in what way or when.
For the first time since I had met Paxton, I defied him. Not with little things that irked him, like being a few minutes late. I mean something big. Something like this. I would be punished for a month, but I would face it. It was worth it to spend an hour with my sister.
Happy memories were spoken in words between us as miles flew by. One hour was quickly over and I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the time, Paxton’s anger, or the storm. I didn’t even feel anxious when I glanced at the clock, knowing he was angry with me. The damage was done. His feet were pacing back and forth, dialing my number, and watching out the window. I could see it in my mind as plain as day.
I listened to Izabella tell a story about our mother’s song while I tried to keep my mind there. With her and nowhere else.
“Free Bird. Lynyrd Skynyrd,” Izzy recalled through a yell when it suddenly came to her.
I remembered the story well. We’d slept outside on a beach in California that entire summer. Tent City. My mother had crazy danced to that song. I mean straight-up crazy. Arms flowing in the air while her body rose and fell with the tune, her eyes were closed and she had an expression of appreciation on her face. It had been as if she’d talked to God, praising the universe through twinkling stars. Izzy and I sat huddled up in front of a fire, waiting for her to come down. We couldn’t have been more than four or five years old, but we knew. We didn’t know that she acted like that because of the shrooms they talked about. We just thought she was sick.
I silenced my phone with the controls on the steering wheel, seeing Paxton’s name take over the screen on my dash. I’d already immersed myself knee deep, but that was no different than chin deep. The consequences were the same. “You do know she was higher than a kite that entire summer, right?” I questioned.
“It didn’t matter. Those were the best days of my life. Think about what a boring life we would have had if we would have been born to a sane mom. Turn right,” Izzy said while directing me with a straight finger. I turned right again and silenced my phone for the fourth time. An hour and fifteen minutes of nothing but right turns can have you out of the city and in the middle of nowhere pretty damn quick. I had no idea where we were headed, and I didn’t care. I would figure it out later with the GPS. For now, I was enjoying my time with Izzy, reminiscing about the good old days.
