Текст книги "The Year I Became Isabella Anders"

Автор книги: Jessica Sorensen

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

I shrug. “Like I said, it’s not—”

“Don’t say it isn’t a big deal,” he cuts me off. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, mainly when things with your sister went south, and I realized I can come off as an arrogant dick sometimes.”

“Why did things going south with my sister make you realize that?” I don’t know why I ask, but I have this overwhelming urge to know.

“I kissed her,” he says almost guiltily. “And I never should have kissed her, because I didn’t like her that way. But the fact of the matter was I kissed her and she took it the wrong way, and it made me feel like such a douche. And then I started thinking about how many times I acted like a douche, and it started to drive me crazy.”

“Hannah’s ego can take it. I promise.”

“I know.” He steadily carries my gaze. “But there’s other people who might—who shouldn’t have to put up with my shit.”

I shrug. “You never really did anything to me. And you’ve always stuck up for me when other people were acting like douches.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He tosses the paper towel into the trash and then scratches his forehead. “You know, you’re so easy to talk to. I don’t know how, but I somehow forgot you were like that.”

“You know, you’re not the only guy who’s told me that.”

“Really?” He seems intrigued. “I guess I’ll have to think of a better compliment then.”

“I guess you will.” The light, flirty tone of my voice shocks the crap out of me, and I honestly kind of feel silly for even attempting to flirt. Fortunately, my phone buzzes. “Hold on a sec,” I tell Kyler. “My grandma just texted me back.”

Grandma Stephy: Goddamn that child. She’s such a pain in the ass. Of course u can stay, but does your father know about this? Because he’s been really upset with me lately.

Me: Maybe we should just keep this between us. If I text him about Hannah kicking me out, it’s just going to start more drama, and there’s way too much of that already.

Grandma Stephy: Okay, sweetie. I’ll come pick u up.

Me: I actually have a ride, but I need to ask u for another favor. I have a friend who has a cooking crisis and needs help baking a few batches of chocolate chip cookies. I love eating me some cookies, but u know I suck at actually making them, so I thought maybe u could help us out.

Grandma Stephy: So u want me to cook for u? Jesus, aren’t u needy ;)

Me: I know. It’s your fault, though, for giving me everything I want ;)

Grandma Stephy: Glad to c u haven’t lost your sense of humor.

Me: That’ll never happen, no matter how bad things get.

Grandma Stephy: You’re a strong girl, Isa. U really r. And I love u to death. I’ll cook for u, but only if u tell me who this friend is.

Me: Um . . . Kyler Meyers, a guy who lives next door to me.

Grandma Stephy: Is that the boy u and Indigo were always whispering about?

Me: Maybe

Grandma Stephy: Interesting.

Me: Please don’t say anything weird while we’re there.

Grandma Stephy: I’ll try my best, but no promises.

“So what’d she say?” Kyler asks. “Will she help us out?”

I glance from the screen and find him standing in front of me, close enough I can smell his cologne. “She said she’s down.”

“Really? That’s so fucking awesome. Thanks, Isa.” He hugs me. Actually freaking hugs me, with both arms and everything. “I owe you big time. And not just for the cookies, but for teaching me how to kick ass at free shots.”

“I am pretty awesome,” I joke, daring to wrap an arm around him and hug him back.

“You’re more than awesome. You’re like the awesomest of awesomeness.”

I smile at his sentence, because it sounds like something I would say.

“Okay, who died?” Kai says, sounding like he’s right next to us.

“Huh?” Kyler pulls away from me and his gaze cuts to his brother. “What are you talking about? No one died.”

He might be wrong, because I’m pretty sure my heart stopped beating for a second or two there.

Kai gives me a condemning look as he drops his jacket onto the table. “I don’t know. Isa might have.”

My lips do a great Elvis impression as Kai and I stare each other down. Surprisingly, Kai is the one to give in first and whisks by me to grab a package of Oreos from the cupboard.

“Well, it looks like you two are having a fan-fucking-tastic time,” Kai says dryly to Kyler and me. “I’ll leave you guys to your awkward hugging.”

“I actually came here to bring you your phone,” I call out after him as he turns to leave the room. “I somehow ended up with it last night.”

He turns around, facing me again. “I was wondering where that went. I was worried I lost it at Bradon’s and he’d already hocked it.” I notice a red mark on the side of his cheek and wonder if it’s from where his dad slapped him upside the head last night.

You need to make sure everything’s okay.

“He sounds like a great friend,” Kyler says sarcastically as he puts the eggs back into the fridge.

“Yep, the best,” Kai quips, peeling apart an Oreo to lick off the frosting. Then he fixes his eyes on me. “Did you bring my phone with you? I’ve been expecting a few texts.”

Kyler chucks it at him before I can answer.

Luckily, Kai has the reflexes of a ninja and he effortlessly catches it. “Thanks.” He smiles at Kyler, but it’s not a friendly smile. “Have fun with your new friend, Isa.” He winks at me, trying to get under my skin, then turns to leave, scrolling through his messages.

I hurry after him as he walks toward the stairway. “Who’s this T guy?”

He glances down at me, not looking very happy. “You know who he is. He’s that dude who talked to us last night.”

“But who is he exactly?”

“Just some dude.”

“Don’t lie to me, Kai. I read one of your messages from him.” I shift my weight as he glares at me. “It wasn’t on purpose. I thought it was my phone.”

“You should probably just forget what you read.” He punches a few buttons then stuffs it into the back pocket of his worn jeans.

“Are you in trouble?” I ask. “Because that message . . . it sounded like you were in trouble.”

“I’m always in trouble,” he replies simply then stuffs a cookie into his mouth and licks his lips.

His tongue.

Those lips.

That kiss.

“Kai, about last night and what happened in the driveway—”

“Relax.” He cuts me off. “I kiss almost everyone when I’m drunk.”

“I wasn’t actually going to say anything about the kiss, but thanks for the info on your kissing routine,” I say, and he stares at me, unimpressed. “I just want to make sure you’re okay . . . with what happened with your dad.” I suck in an inhale, mustering up the courage. “And to give you this.” I wrap my arms around him and give him a quick hug that lasts just long enough for me to notice he smells like vanilla frosting. “You looked like you needed this last night, but I didn’t want to make your parents madder, so I thought I’d wait until today.”

The hug is not as awkward as I thought it would be, but when I step back, Kai’s staring at me with his mouth hanging open.

“You’re a strange girl sometimes.” He grabs another cookie from the package with a quizzical look on his face. “But in the best way possible.”

“So I’ve been told,” I say with a small smile. “You’re okay, though, right?”

He nods, swallowing hard. “I’m okay.”

I glance at the welt on his cheek. “Promise?”

His fingers drift to his cheek and he winces. “I promise.”

Then he turns his back on me and jogs up the stairs without saying anything else.

I’m not positive I believe he’s okay, but I’m not sure what else to do, other than keep an eye on him.

I head back to the kitchen, feeling sullen.

Kyler has gotten everything cleaned up by the time I walk in, and has his jacket and shoes on, ready to go.

“Everything okay?” he asks as he collects the car keys from the counter.

I nod. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

That’s the second time I’ve lied in the last ten minutes. But who I’m lying to, I’m not quite sure.

BY THE TIME we arrive at my Grandma Stephy’s house, she’s halfway done with baking the cookies. I give her a good, stern lecture for not waiting for us, but she tells me that she doesn’t need my sucky cooking skills tainting her cookies and to go sit my ass down in the living room while she works her Baker Fairy Magic in the kitchen.

“She’s funny,” Kyler says after we settle on the living room sofa.

“Yeah, she’s pretty funny, I guess.” I shift on the sofa, feeling nervous as hell with how close he’s sitting next to me.

“You smile around her a lot,” he remarks as he slides his arm across the back of the chair.

“Do I not smile a lot when I’m not around her?” Do you notice that I don’t?

“I’ve seen you smile a couple of times,” he says. “But not a lot.”

“Maybe it’s because you haven’t been around me a lot,” I reply with a shrug. “Generally, I try to be a happy person, even when things are super sucky. And I’m seriously easy to please. I mean, give me a cookie and a comic book, and I’m like a freaking unicorn sniffing rainbows.”

“A unicorn sniffing a rainbow?” He cocks a brow.

I shrug, picking at my nails. “What? Unicorns are totally crazy happy when they sniff rainbows.”

He chuckles. “Funny. I didn’t know unicorns were real or that they sniffed rainbows.”

“Oh, they’re totally real,” I joke with a grin. “Now, I’m not positive the rainbow part is true, but I like to think it is, because I’m just that awesome.”

“That you are.” He gently tugs on a strand of my hair for God knows what reason. “You remember that time you wore a cape to school?”

I pull a face. “Yeah, I remember. Don’t judge me, though. I was like ten and going through this phase where I wanted to be a witch.”

“No, I wasn’t judging you at all,” he quickly says. “I always thought it was cool you were so comfortable with being yourself.” I glance down at my stylish outfit and he hurriedly adds, “I like this look too. I promise. And you’re still you and everything. And really cool and comfortable with yourself.” He’s rambling and nervous, and I can barely keep up with what he’s saying. He finally takes a breath and shakes his head at himself. “I don’t know what my problem is. You’ve totally thrown me off my game.”

He’s trying to use his game on me?

He moves his arm from the back of the sofa and rakes his fingers through his hair. “You just make me nervous.”

I almost bust up laughing. I’m making Kyler nervous? “Are you being serious?”

He nods, lowering his hand to his lap. “I’m usually better at reading people, but with you . . . I have no idea what you’re thinking.” He waits, like he expects me to tell him.

I shake my head. “There is no way I’m telling you what goes on in here.” I tap my temple with my finger. “If I did, then you might run out the door.”

“I doubt that.” He sits up straight and twists to face me. “But how about we try it and see? You tell me one thing you’re thinking, and we’ll see if it scares me enough that I run.”

“That seems like a game I’ll lose no matter what, because either you leave, or you stay here and think I’m crazy.”

“Okay, well how about this? You just tell me one thing, and I won’t think you’re crazy and I’ll stay.”

“How can you possibly predict that?” I ask amusedly. “Are you secretly a psychic?”

“I have an aunt who is,” he says in all seriousness.

“Really? That’s crazy cool. Does she, like, tell you your fortunes and everything? Do you know when you’re going to die?”

He shakes his head. “Nope. I’m not telling you anything more until you tell me something about you.”

I give an overdramatic sigh. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I press my lips together, thinking, What could I possibly tell him about me that won’t make him think I’m crazy? All my interests are weird, and I don’t think he’d get my obsession with zombies. Maybe I could tell him some of the things I did this summer, like dancing at the club or kissing Nyle . . .

Oh, my God, why would I tell him that? “I skinny-dipped in a pool this summer.” I slap my hand over my mouth. Holy shit. Out of all the things, that’s what I decided to go with?

“You did what?” From the kitchen, Grandma Stephy stares at me in shock.

“We weren’t totally naked,” I tell her, mentally cursing myself. I’d been doing so well, lightly flirting, saying fun things, and then my weirdo gene decided to make a grand appearance.

She points the spoon she’s holding at me. “We’ll talk about this later.” She goes back to her cooking, leaving me to sit here in shame as I blush.

“You really did that?” Kyler asks, trying not to smile.

“I didn’t mean to say that aloud. I do stuff like that sometimes. Talk without thinking.” I lean back in the sofa. “But yeah, Indigo—my cousin—and I went swimming in our underwear when we were in Scotland. It was more her idea than mine. She was really big on making sure we had a ton of crazy experiences.”

“It sounds like that’s exactly what you did.” He playfully bumps knees with mine. “Maybe one day you could tell me more crazy stuff you did.”

I bite back a smile. “Maybe one day, if you’re lucky.”

He grins, totally noting my flirty tone. “Maybe when you come watch my game, we can go out and get something to eat. Hit up a party or something.”

Okay, he’s definitely asking me out. I get all giddy, but then I hesitate. I don’t know why, but at that moment, I think about Kai and the party we went to. We had so much fun. More fun than I’ve ever had. Would I have that much fun with Kyler? I’ll never know unless I go. Besides, going out with Kyler has been my dream since practically forever. I owe it to my eight-year-old self to do this. And talking with him today has been so easy.

“That sounds like fun,” I say. “And I think it has crazy adventure potential.”

“I think so too.” He glances at his watch. “You’ll have to be the leader of our little adventure. I’m not very good at impulsive things.”

“I’ll think of something,” I promise him as he glances at his watch again. Am I boring him to death?

“I still can’t believe you went to Scotland,” he says, staring at me in awe. “I mean, I knew you went somewhere for the summer, but not Scotland.”

I wonder where he thought I was this summer. Did he buy into Hannah’s mental institution thing? “Where exactly did you think I went this summer? I’m just curious.”

“I knew you went on a trip with your grandma, but Kai never said exactly where you went.” He pauses, seeming conflicted. “Were you worried about Hannah’s rumor and the mental institution thing? Because, you should know, no one believes that.”

“Really?” I hug a pillow against my chest. “Why not?”

“Kai told everyone that it wasn’t true.” He intently studies my expression. “You didn’t know that?”

“No, I didn’t. He never said anything to me about it.” My thoughts drift to Kai.

Why didn’t he tell me? I wish I knew, so I could at least thank him.

God, I need to thank him, like a lot.

“Okay, I’m new at this not-being-a-douche thing, so you can totally tell me if I’m being rude,” he says with a hint of remorse in his voice. “But the games on in, like, five minutes and I—”

I laugh, cutting him off. “Kyler, you can turn on the game. It’s cool.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.” I’m just glad I know what all the watch-checking was about.

I turn on the television for him and his attention instantly goes right to the screen. I think about sending Kai a text and thanking him, but a text doesn’t feel like the right way.

No, it should be in person.

Eventually, the air laces with the scent of soon-to-be done, yummy-in-my-tummy cookies. I’ve just started contemplating getting up and going into the kitchen, wondering if it makes me rude, when Kyler turns to me.

“You want me to explain the rules to you?” Kyler asks as a commercial comes on. “If you’re going to come watch me play, you should probably know what’s going on. That way you can cheer me on when I kick some ass.” He winks at me. “I kick ass a lot.”

“I bet you do,” I tell him, smiling from the wink. “You can try to explain the rules to me, but I’m going to warn you that I usually don’t catch on to stuff very quickly, unless I’m actually doing it.”

“I guess we’ll have to throw the ball around sometime then.” The dimple grin appears and my pulse quickens. “But I’ll try to explain it now, if that’s cool.” He gets an excited look in his eyes, like he’s pumped to be doing this.

The look is contagious and gets me pumped too, even if we’re going to be talking about football.

He faces the television again, sitting back in the chair and putting his arm on the back again. “Okay, so how much do you know about football?”

“A little bit.” I’m hyperaware that he’s playing with my hair. I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it. “My dad watches it sometimes, but he’s not a fan of me being anywhere near him when he does.”

“But you’re good at sports, right?”

“I’m okay, I guess. But football’s always seemed kind of boring to me.” I offer him an apologetic look. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m not one of those guys who thinks the game is everything. You don’t have to like it. But I want to try to get you to kind of maybe like it enough not to be bored out of your mind when you’re at my game, okay?” he asks and I nod.

He smiles and jumps right in, yammering about downs, defense and offense, goals, two point conversions. By the time he slows down, my mind is on football overdrive.

“It’s okay if you don’t get it all at first,” he says when he notes the crazed, wild-eye look I’m probably rocking.

“Good, because I’m definitely not getting it at all.” I look at the television screen. “I mean, I get the gist of it, but there’s so many rules and so many guys just running around on a field.”

“I’m probably boring you to death, aren’t I?” He shifts positions, sitting up straight and lowering his hand to his lap. “I have an idea. How about for every rule I tell you, you get to tell me one thing about comics and superheroes.”

“You know I’m into that stuff?”

He nods. “I’ve seen some of your drawings at school too. They’re pretty good.”

I mull over his offer. “All right, Kyler, you have yourself a deal.”

An hour later, he’s leaving with his freshly baked cookies and his head crammed full of superpower knowledge. I feel like I’m floating on clouds and skipping on rainbows, even if my head aches from football facts.

The second the door closes, I overdramatically fall to the floor. “What the hell just happened?” I say, draping my arm over my head. “Did I seriously just spend over an hour talking to Kyler about football and Jedi mind skills?”

Grandma Stephy laughs at me as she starts piling dirty bowls into the sink. “To be young and in love again. I’ve completely forgotten how silly love can make someone.”

“I’m not in love with Kyler. I’m just . . .” I push up on my elbows. “You did hear him, right? I mean, I didn’t dream what just happened, did I? Because I’ve dreamt about him asking me out for a long, long time.” Well, up until recently. Lately, my dreams have been chock full of worries about never finding my mom.

“You’re awake. I promise.” She grabs a dishtowel and tosses it at my face. “Now, get your ass over here and help me clean up this mess.”

I drag myself off the floor and put the flour and sugar into the pantry. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Isabella Anders, you need to stop asking that question before you ask a question,” she gripes as she puts the egg carton back into the fridge.

“Sorry, but I kind of wanted to prepare you for what I was about to ask.”

She pauses, worry creasing her face. “What is it?”

I sigh then tell her about the photo and the birth certificate, omitting the details of what Kai and I did with the certificate.

“I thought I told you to leave this alone and let me handle this. That snooping around wasn’t a good idea,” she says when I’m finished.

“I can’t just sit around and wonder what’s going on.” I pull out a barstool and sit down. “It’s driving me crazy not knowing what happened, where she is, who she is. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. Like I’m just this person floating around in the world, lost, without a family. And I don’t want to float anymore.”

She takes a seat on a barstool beside me. “Honey, I know it’s confusing right now, but give me some time to get the story out of your father. I know it’s not happening as fast as you like, but I really do believe that eventually he’ll break down and tell us if I push him just enough.”

I glance down at my bandaged knee, remembering the last time she tried to push him. “You really think you’ll be able to get him to tell you?”

She hesitantly nods. “Eventually, yes.”

I want to believe her—I really do—but I’ve heard the two of them yelling on the phone at each other over the last couple of weeks, and my dad seems pretty dead set on no one telling me anything about my mom.

“Do you have that photo on you?” she asks, wiping her hands off on a dishtowel.

I retrieve the picture from my pocket and hand it to her.

A faint smile rises on her lips. “You look a lot like her.”

“Have you ever seen her before?”

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I really am. I wish you didn’t have to go through this.”

“It’s not your fault.” I suck back the tears, get up, and start sweeping the kitchen floor.

But one question is stuck in my head. How did my dad manage to keep my mom such a secret?

“Isa, stop sweeping. The last thing you should be doing is cleaning.” She stands up and grabs her purse from the table. “Why don’t we go out for dinner? We can go to that diner you love, and I’ll even let you order dessert first.”

“That sounds nice.” I smile so she’ll relax, but deep down, I know that even sugar isn’t going to cure the hole forming in the center of my heart.

The only thing that will ever fix it is finding my real mom.