Текст книги "Apollyon"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

“I don’t want it to end like you fear, but there is only so much I can do to stay the hands of others.”

“Yeah, because after I take out this god—if we figure out who it is—there’s a good chance the gods will turn on me, because I will be a threat. And I bet they have an Order member just lying around, right? Even if I don’t do anything, they will act as judge and jury on a crime I haven’t committed?”

There was that damn pause again and then he said, “Everyone dies, but in the end it comes down to what you are willing to die for, Alexandria.”

Gods, there was a part of me—a huge part of me—that wanted to kick Apollo in the balls, but I got it. As messed up as it was, I got it. And maybe that was why I wasn’t flipping out on him. The loss of one life, maybe two, was worth the safety of billions. I could see that and if I was totally impartial about this—say, they weren’t talking about me—then I’d probably even support it.

But it was me.

It would be me.

That was a lot to swallow. It was something that I couldn’t really even begin to process. I felt too selfish, but I also knew what had to be done.

Gods, I was so not old enough or mature enough to be making these kinds of decisions.

It grew so quiet between us that the gentle winds stirring the branches seemed too loud. If I didn’t have my freaky god-sensing abilities right now, I’d have thought he’d left. But he was still there, waiting.

“And there’s no other way?” I asked.

He didn’t respond, and I took his silence as a no.

Heart heavy, I lifted my head. “What will happen if I die?”

Apollo didn’t answer immediately. “You will have a warrior’s death. There is pride in that and you will want for nothing.”

Except to live, but I figured that was a moot point. “Will you make sure that… that Aiden will be okay?”

The god’s eyes met mine and he nodded.

Throat burning and tightening, I focused on the dark gravel. “He… he had to see his parents afterward, Apollo. I don’t want him to see me, okay? Can you make sure he doesn’t?”

“If that is what you wish.”

I pressed my lips together, relieved a little that Aiden would be spared that horror—maybe not the bulk of it, but some of it. “And will you make sure Marcus and the rest of them are okay?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” I swallowed, but I still felt like I was choking. “I want to be left alone for awhile.”

“Alex—”

I looked then, meeting his gaze. “Please leave.”

He looked like he was going to say something, but then he nodded and simply vanished. I don’t know how long I stood there, but eventually I shuffled over to the porch and sat down on the steps.

The night air was still cool and it stung my hot cheeks. Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Crying served nothing. It wouldn’t change what would happen. If I somehow managed to get to Seth, transfer his power to me before he took mine, and destroy the mystery god, I’d still be put down like a rabid animal. Possibly even Seth would be, as well, although he’d no longer be a threat. Maybe without me around to influence him, he’d get better. He’d just be the Apollyon then, like it was supposed to be—only one of us and all that jazz.

I rubbed my eyes until they ached.

What day was it? Sometime in April? Less than a month from now, I was supposed to be graduating from the Covenant. That was so obviously not going to happen. So much had changed, and so much would never be the same. I wondered if my Fate had changed, too, or if this had always been a part of it and no one had thought to clue me in.

An idea occurred to me. It was insane, but I thought about letting the wonky connection with Seth happen. The ache was in my temples. Maybe I could tell him what I knew. Maybe there was a part of him that still cared enough.

I shook my head and lowered my hands.

Seth would probably just use it as another reason for me to jump ship.

Taking several deep breaths, I pushed thoughts of Seth out of my head and, for some reason, I thought about my father. Features roughened by a hard life fell into place. Broad cheekbones and a strong chin spoke of a warrior’s face. We really didn’t look too much alike, but it was his eyes… they were mine.

I tried not to think about my dad. Perhaps that was wrong, but it was hard sitting here knowing that he was in the Catskills. And it was even harder acknowledging that there might be a good chance we’d never meet face-to-face, aware of what we were to each other.

Squeezing my knees together, I thought about the sacrifice he was making—had made—for so many years. Deep down I knew he probably wanted to be here with me, but he had a job to do. Through and through, my father was a Sentinel.

I respected him for that.

I don’t know how long I sat there, but it couldn’t have been that long before the door behind me eased open. Boards creaked as the footsteps drew near.

Aiden sat beside me, still in his Sentinel uniform. He stared straight ahead and said nothing. I looked at him. The dark waves were messy, going in every which direction. A slight shadow was forming on his jaw.

“Didn’t wake up Deacon?” I asked.

“Nah, if I did then I’d probably never get to bed. He’ll need entertainment or something and you know how that goes.” Aiden tilted his head toward me. “When did Apollo leave?”

“A little while ago.”

Aiden was quiet for a moment. “Is there anything I should know?”

My heart skipped a beat. “No.”

His eyes met mine and I couldn’t tell if he believed me, but he extended his arm. I scooted over, fitting myself against the side of his body as he locked his arms around me. He rested his cheek against my hair and I felt his breath.

Minutes passed, and then he said, “We’re in this together, Alex. Don’t ever forget that. We’re in this together to the end.”

CHAPTER 28

By the time Apollo reappeared later that night, I hadn’t really come to terms with everything. I mean, how could I? Going through all of this, facing only gods-knew-what, knowing there was a 99% chance I’d die in the end really didn’t help with the whole motivation factor. So I decided to do the only thing I could do.

Forget about the end result.

Probably not the wisest method, but it was the only way I could do this and keep sane, because right now I didn’t know how to change any of it.

Apollo didn’t return alone. When he popped into the living room, he brought along Dionysus. It was the first time I’d seen the god. He looked like a frat boy in his Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts.

Dionysus dropped onto the couch in a lazy, arrogant sprawl. His heavy-lidded gaze moved over the females in the room, sizing them up like one looks at a menu. When his freaky eyes landed on me, I arched a brow.

He grinned. “So this is the Apollyon?”

“That would be me.”

“For some reason, I expected you to be taller.”

What the hell? Folding my arms, I shot him a bland look. “I don’t know why people keep saying that.”

Aiden leaned against the desk I sat on. “You arepretty short.”

My height wasn’t our biggest problem. Thankfully Marcus reined the conversation in, bringing it back to more important things. “Do you have news of Lucian?”

The god stretched, folding his arms behind his head. “Well, I got as close as I could. Something’s different this time around.”

Apollo frowned. I didn’t like it when gods frowned—usually it meant something really, really bad. “What do you mean?”

“I could only get soclose. Something barred me from getting among them, even barred my nymphs.” He wiggled his toes. “No ward can do that. Only another god.”

“I don’t understand,” I said. “How could another god block you?”

“A powerful one can, little Apollyon.” Dionysus winked one all-white eye. “It would be like hitting an invisible wall. The First and the pure-blood are well protected.”

“Hermes?” Marcus said, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully.

Dionysus snorted. “Hermes couldn’t pull something like that off.”

“Who could?” Solos asked, gaze shrewd.

“One of the core,” Dionysus answered with a smirk.

“What do you mean?” Luke leaned forward in his chair, dropping his arms over his knees. “‘One of the core’?”

The god spared him a brief glance. “There’s a social… or political structure to things in Olympus—a ranking by power.”

Across the room, Laadan cleared her throat. Beside her, Olivia remained quiet. She hadn’t spoken since asking about Caleb earlier. I had kept his promise, as much as it sucked.

“Can you give us a little more detail?” Laadan asked politely. “I believe this is something that we are unaware of.”

“Not really,” Apollo answered. “You modeled your Councils after Olympus, with each Council having a leader, so to speak. Olympus is the same.”

My curiosity swelled. “So who is the core?”

Dionysus might not have had pupils, but I was pretty sure that, when his head swung back to me, he was staring at my chest. And I was also sure that Aiden believed so, too, considering the way he stiffened.

“Zeus and Hera, followed by the ever-popular Apollo and his sister Artemis, then Ares and Athena,” Dionysus answered. “Last but not least, Hades and Poseidon. They are the most powerful gods and the only ones who could pull that off.”

“Well it’s not Hades. He wanted to take me to the Underworld. And I doubt it was Poseidon since he went all water-god on Deity Island.”

Aiden slid Apollo a look.

The sun god’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah, like it’s me.”

“Could really be any of them,” Dionysus said, and then yawned loudly. “They’d have to be fooling everyone, so they could’ve fooled even us.” He shrugged as if none of this was a big deal. “It is what it is.”

“Did you sense anything?” Apollo’s hands closed at his sides when Dionysus shook his head. “Did you see anythingthat might tell us who the god was? Anything?”

“Really wasn’t looking for that. You told me to see how many that idiot pure-blood had with him, and I did.”

A muscle popped in Apollo’s jaw and he all but growled, “So what did you see?”

“Nothing good.”

“Details,” Apollo said, exhaling through his nose. “Details.”

I wondered if Dionysus was drunk or high. My gaze caught Deacon’s on the other end of the couch, and I could tell he was thinking the same thing. Even Lea, who was sitting on the arm beside Deacon, was giving Dionysus a what the helllook.

“He has damn near close to a thousand half-blood Sentinels and Guards, maybe more. Plus, he’s surrounded by some sort of inner circle—other pures. And it gets even better.” He paused, and I knew it was for dramatic effect. “There were mortals with him.”

My mouth dropped open. “ What?”

“Soldiers,” Dionysus replied. “Mortal soldiers—like the ‘Be all that you can be’ kind of soldiers. There were probably about five hundred of them.”

I almost fell off the desk.

“How is that possible?” Lea demanded. Then she squeezed her eyes shut, features pinched. “He’s using a compulsion.”

“No.” Marcus shook his head as he turned to Apollo. “No pure-blood could control that many mortals. Not even if he had a hundred pures surrounding him.”

“It’s the god.” Apollo looked disgusted.

My stomach heaved at the thought. Using mortals like that was wrong on so many levels. They’d never survive a fight against a Sentinel or Guard, no matter how many guns they had. We were simply so much faster and better trained. Mortals would be canon fodder and nothing more. It was revolting.

Anger filled the room, so thick I could practically taste it.

“I don’t get it.” Deacon ran a hand over his head, clasping the back of his neck. “How is the mortal world not paying attention to something like that?”

“One of the mortals must be high up in the army, someone who can make that kind of call and give some sort of reason.” Apollo’s lips thinned. “At least that’s what I’d do.”

“And they could’ve called some sort of state of emergency,” Marcus added. “No part of the U.S. has gone completely unscathed, and I’m beginning to wonder if this god even cares about exposure.”

Aiden gripped the edge of the desk. “I think it’s obvious that the risk of exposure isn’t important. Hell, maybe it’s even planned.”

All eyes turned on him.

“Think about it. Why else would a god be orchestrating all of this? Or going along with what Lucian wants?” Aiden asked. “To take out the gods and then what—rule Olympus? Or rule Olympus andthe mortal realm?”

A shiver raced across my shoulders. My wildest imagination couldn’t even fathom what it would be like if the world knew that gods did exist—and on top of that, if the world ended up being ruled by one.

“We can’t let that happen,” I said.

Apollo’s eyes met mine. “No. We can’t.”

I averted my gaze, because right now I didn’t want to think about what stopping this god meant. I cleared my throat. “I wonder if Lucian and Seth even know.”

“Does it matter?” Lea asked, snotty as ever.

My lips quirked at her tone. “I guess it doesn’t, but you have to wonder who’s using who. And what will happen to them in the end if the god is successful. Does he plan to keep them around or get rid of them? Do they even have a clue?”

Most of the people in the room couldn’t care less—that much was apparent—but Marcus strode over to where I sat and leaned against the desk on the other side of me. “I doubt they know. In a way, no matter what they have been responsible for, it is tragic.”

“It will be tragic if they succeed.” Dionysus stood and stretched his arms over his head. “Well, I’m out.”

Apollo nodded and Dionysus bowed to the room, sweeping his arms out to the sides with a flourish. And then he was gone.

I shook my head. “Okay. Who else thinks he was high as a kite?”

Hands went up across the room and I grinned.

“So, we’re leaving tomorrow morning for the University?” Olivia asked as she pulled on a springy curl. “Don’t you think that, if this god is so conniving and smart, he’s figured out that Alex will be going there? I mean, even if he’s using Lucian and Seth for his ultimate evil plans, he’s still going to need Alex, right? Because he’s probably controlling Seth, or wants to.”

Everyone grew quiet and I felt like a little ant under a magnifying glass.

I glanced at Apollo, but he was staring at the globe on the desk.

“Making any move is going to be as dangerous as sitting here,” Marcus said finally. “But in South Dakota, we will be safer.”

“Alex will be safer there, too,” Luke murmured, staring at his hands.

I opened my mouth, but Lea spoke. “Well, I think our job is to make sure that Seth and this god don’t get to Alex.”

My mouth really dropped open.

She smiled smartly at me. “Can’t have you going all psycho-Alex again and ending the world as we know it.”

“She has a point.” Deacon grinned.

I narrowed my eyes. “Wait. Guys, I don’t want—”

“What?” Aiden nudged me with his elbow. “You don’t want us having your back?”

“That’s not what this is.” I stared at Apollo, but damn, that globe fascinated him. “If there’s going to be a god gunning for my butt—”

“It is a nice butt,” Aiden murmured as he studied the toes of his boots. A small grin was on his face.

I stared at him a moment. “ PlusSeth is out looking for me, this… this is going to be really dangerous. I don’t want you guys risking your lives for me.”

Lea snorted. “Damn, Alex, your ego is out of control. You know me. I’d sooner throw you in front of a daimon any other day, but if keeping you away from them means saving millions of lives, then I’m on your team. So this is bigger than you.”

“I knowthis is bigger than me.” My cheeks burned, and Deacon’s idiot grin wasn’t helping. “And I know you’d toss me in front of a daimon, but I don’t want to see any of you get hurt.”

“Everyone here knows the risks, Alex.” Marcus’ voice was stern, reminding me of the days back in the Covenant when he’d spent the majority of his time yelling at me. “No one is being forced to do this.”

“And none of us would do anything else.” Olivia offered a tentative smile. “All of us have lost people because of what’s happening. We all have reasons to make sure this stops and doesn’t happen again.”

“Even me,” Deacon said. “I haven’t gotten my regular twelve hours of sleep since all of this went down, and that is damn tragic.”

Aiden rolled his eyes.

“Everyone is ready to fight.” Laadan crossed the room, smiling as stood next to Marcus. “This isn’t just your battle.”

“It was never just your battle,” Solos corrected.

“In other words,” Marcus said, his jade-colored eyes meeting mine, “you’re not in this alone. You never were.”

“And you’re not going to be,” Aiden finished quietly.

Wow. I think I sort of loved everyone in this room right now, even Lea. Tears burned my eyes, and I tipped my head forward so no one could see. The thing was that, ever since I realized how all of this could end—probably would end—I’d never felt more alone. But sitting here, hearing them…

“Group hug time?” Deacon suggested.

“Shut up,” I said, but I laughed.

Aiden slid an arm around my shoulders and tipped me toward him. Right in front of the entire room full of halfs, pures, and a god, he kissed my temple. “You’re just going to have to accept that this isn’t going to just be you. It’s going to be all of us.”

I lifted my head and looked at all of them, at a loss as to what to say.

Luke smiled. “I know. We’re awesome.”

I laughed again.

“And we were born to do this,” Olivia said, shrugging. “We’d be doing this in a month or so, anyway. We’re ready.”

Lea slid Olivia a grin that said she was more than ready. “Bring it.”

CHAPTER 29

I’d only gotten a few hours of sleep by the time the sun broke through the blinds the next morning. Listening to everyone tell me they were ready to face whatever was thrown our way… even hours later, I still couldn’t find the right words for how much it meant. But an unseen weight also had settled on my shoulders and it’d grown overnight, pressing me straight down through the mattress. I couldn’t stop any of them—and I wouldn’t just like they wouldn’t stop me—but a thousand things raced through my head.

And the main thoughts centered on any of them losing their lives in this. So many had already perished, and no matter how Positive Polly I tried to be, I knew deep in my core that something terrible, something violent, waited in the future. Death had come long before they’d pledged to see this through, and it was on the other side of the door, or in another state, waiting patiently, because nothing was as unwavering as Death. It probably had the most time in the world.

Even though I knew what awaited them—awaited us all—in the Underworld, I couldn’t bear the idea of seeing any of them fall. If I could, I’d seal them all up in the cage downstairs, even Aiden. No doubt that wouldn’t go over well, but I knew that, between what Apollo needed of me, what Solaris had warned, and how far gone Seth seemed to be, this would end in disaster.

When Aiden shifted beside me and dropped an arm over my waist, I grimaced. “Sorry.”

He snuggled closer. “About what?”

“I kept waking you up.” I pressed back against him, looking over my shoulder. Two silvery eyes peered from behind a mess of dark hair. “I know I did.”

“Not that much.” Aiden rose up on one arm. His body was relaxed, but concern radiated in his gaze. “How much did you sleep?”

I thought about lying, but I shook my head, and then wiggled onto my back. “We’re leaving in a few hours.”

Aiden nodded as his eyes searched mine.

Twisting my fingers together, I tried to smile. “How long will we be on the road?”

“We’re looking at about ten hours.”

Yikes. “Deacon’s riding with us?”

“Yes. So are Luke and Marcus. Solos is taking the girls.”

Something stirred restlessly in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t want to name it. “You think that’s okay?”

Aiden placed his hand over mine, stilling them. “Olivia and Lea are very good. You know that.”

They were. Especially Lea—she was like She-Ra. And Solos and Marcus had gone out earlier, picking up two throwaway cell phones to help us keep in communication.

“And you know Solos will never let anything happen to them. Neither will Laadan.” As he spoke, he eased my hands apart and threaded his fingers through mine. “We have six hundred miles of no man’s land to get through. We’re going to be okay.”

That thing in my stomach tipped over. “I’m not afraid.”

“I didn’t say that you were.”

My eyes narrowed.

Aiden cracked a grin. “But you are.”

“I’m—”

“Do I need to find a sensory deprivation chamber again?” When my cheeks flushed at the memory, his grin spread into a full smile. Deep dimples appeared and, instead of my stomach tumbling, my heart did. “It’s okay, Alex.”

“What is?” My voice sounded terribly fragile, and normally I would’ve hated that, especially considering I was this big bad Apollyon, but with Aiden, I didn’t need to pretend. Sometimes I forgot that, though.

“To be afraid, Alex, it’s okay. What we’re facing is some scary… shit.”

I smiled then. “You cussed.”

“I did.”

My smile quickly faded though, because we werefacing some scary shit. Crap that Aiden didn’t even know the half of. “Are you scared?”

For a moment, he didn’t answer. All that could be heard were the slow, steady ticking of the ancient wall clock and the distant chirping of the birds outside the rustic log walls. “Yes.”

Hearing him admit that was both relieving and frightening. “You’re never afraid.”

Aiden shook his head, his smile slipping into a wry one. “You know that’s not true. There’re a lot of things that terrify me, Alex.”

I met his eyes. “Tell me.”

Stretching out beside me, he tugged me over so my cheek was pressed against his chest. “I’m afraid that Deacon is going to get hurt… or worse. I’m afraid that we will lose more people.” There was a pause and his heart picked up under my cheek. “I’m terrified of what you’re going to face—what you have to do and how it’s going to affect you.”

My breath caught around a denial as I curled my fingers into the sheet tangled around his hips. “I’ll be okay.” Those words were bitter on my tongue.

His chest rose sharply. “I don’t want you to be okay.”

I lifted my head so I could see his eyes. They were a dark gray and shadowed. He tried for a smile, but like mine earlier, it looked pained.

“I want you to be more than okay.” Aiden cupped my cheek gently. “I don’t want you to have nightmares for the rest of your life, and see Seth’s face instead of your mother’s. I don’t want thisto haunt you.”

Suddenly, everything felt too real and I was too close. Sitting up, I put some space between us, but I still felt hot and suffocated. “I know what has to be done.”

And I also knew what that likely meant for me.

He followed, capturing the newly gained distance. His face, those beautiful lips were only inches from mine. “I know, Alex. I also know that you’re going to do it, because I cannot even think for one second that you will fail. You can’t. You won’t.”

At the pain and determination in his voice, I pressed my lips together. Failing and succeeding kind of ended the same.

“Look at me,” he ordered.

I hadn’t realized I’d looked away, but I felt his hand on my cheek. He guided my chin up until our eyes locked and I couldn’t move.

“But I also know that killing Seth isn’t going to be easy, and I don’t mean on a physical level. I know deep down you care for him. Maybe a part of you even loves him.”

Horrified of what he must think, because he’d nailed it right on the head, I shook my head. “Aiden—”

“I understand.” The small grin that played on his lips was real. “I know it’s not the same as what you feel for me, but it doesn’t make it any less strong or important.”

“He…” I didn’t know what to say. Aiden was right. Part of me still loved Seth, and it wasn’t in the way I felt for Aiden, but it wasn’t any less real or powerful. Even after all that Seth had done, I couldn’t forget all that he had done beforethat. It had been the same with my mom, but in the end, I had taken her life like it had been fated all along.

You’ll kill the ones you love…

Aiden’s forehead pressed against mine. “Seth was there for you when you needed someone. You guys share this bond that… that is more than him connecting with you. We broke the connection, but there’s something else underneath that. He’s a part of you.”

I drew in a surprised breath. “He’s… he’s done such terrible things.”

“He has.” Aiden pressed a kiss to my temple. “But he has done some good things, and I know you can’t forget how he used to be. I know none of this will be easy for you.”

Killing Seth would break a piece of me, and no matter how long I walked this earth afterward, it couldn’t be repaired. He was a part of me—a part that was a bit insane—but still. It would change me in a way I couldn’t fathom. Just as facing down my mom had. But this time was different.

Apollo didn’t want me to kill Seth; he wanted me to strip him of his power. Knowing Seth, he’d probably prefer death. And if Seth figured out what I was up to, he’d come after me. So I would have to stop him—kill him. Killing Seth would be the only way I walked out of this alive.

“Alex?” Aiden whispered. “Talk to me, agapi mou”

“Don’t be afraid.” My voice was hoarse. “I’ll be… okay.”

His hand slipped to the nape of my neck, and he held on as if he could keep me there forever. “You’ll tell me that you’ll be okay. And you’ll act like you’re okay, but…”

I squeezed my eyes shut. Aiden would know better. Seconds passed in silence. The truth was on the tip of my tongue, burning me from the inside out. I wanted to tell him what could happen—I really needed to—but putting that on him wasn’t fair. Time stretched out, but it wasn’t enough.

“‘You will kill the ones you love.’” My laugh was dry and brittle. “I hate that damn oracle.”

Aiden’s fingers splayed across my cheek. “If I could change this, I would. I’d do anything to save you from this.”

“I know.” I tipped my head a little to the side and kissed him softly. “But Fate is a bitch.”

“Or a bastard,” he said lightly.

I laughed, because whenever Aiden cussed, I couldn’t help it. It sounded wrong rolling off his tongue, but still elegant, somehow. Like a British person cussing. Anyway, I just couldn’t talk about this anymore. I didn’t even want to think about it, but I’d need a brain scrub to fix that.

Leaning forward, I looped my arms around his neck and all but climbed into his lap. “Can we talk about something else?”

Aiden looked like he was going to argue, but he nodded.

Staring into his eyes, I thought back to the days when he used to pop in and watch me train. That made me smile. “I used to think you were the source of my failure.”

“What?” He arched a brow as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I could never get things right when you were around, especially when you used to watch me in class.” I shrugged. “I wanted to be perfect in your eyes. I wanted you to be proud of me.”

“I am.”

I beamed at him, smiling for real for the first time since this conversation began. “But you’re kind of like my source of strength, even when I couldn’t concentrate because of you.”

Aiden tilted his head to the side, causing his lips to graze my cheek. “We had the same problem then.”

“Doubtful.”

“You have no idea how hard it was.” Aiden sighed against my lips. “To train you—to be so close when all I wanted…”

There was a flutter in my chest. “What did you want?”

He leaned in, his warm breath becoming my world. “How about I show you?”

Oh, I so liked where this was heading. So much better than the doom and gloom crap that wanted to pull me under, bringing Aiden along with me. “I’m down with that.”

Laughing softly, he erased that miniscule distance and I let out a little sigh. If he kissed me like that every couple of hours, it would keep the darkness at bay. It would obliterate everything I feared and would probably come to regret. My world would be close to perfect.

There was a knock, and we drew apart an instant before the door swung open and Deacon’s mop of a head popped in. Aiden groaned, but his eyes lightened by several shades.

“Good morning!” Too much cheer rang in his voice for this time of the morning.

My cheeks burned as I mumbled, “Morning.”

Before either of us could say another word, Deacon darted from the door and launched himself onto the bed, soaring through the air like a human projectile. I jerked to the side with a split-second to spare. He landed with his legs on his brother and the upper part of his body between us.

Deacon threw his arms behind his head, folding them as he tipped his head back and grinned at us. “It’s like a puppy pile.”

“A puppy pile?” Aiden arched a brow. “You are so weird.”

“Whatever.” Deacon’s gray eyes flicked to me. “Was I interrupting anything?”

Aiden rolled his eyes and I fought a grin. “Not at all, brother.”

“Good, because you guys better get your butts in gear. We’re leaving in an hour.” Deacon crossed his ankles, letting out a content sigh. “Time to hit the road.”

I tucked my hair back, wondering how much coffee he’d had to be up this early and this hyper. “You’re so unnaturally wound up.”

“I’m excited,” he replied. “I’m looking at this road trip like a real life game of Oregon Trail.”

My brows rose. “Are you going to catch typhoid fever?”

“Actually, I was thinking about breaking a leg or drowning.”

“There’s always starving to death.” My lips split into a grin. “Or you could get kidnapped by Indians.”

Deacon’s eyes widened dramatically. “They’d want me for my glorious blond locks.”

“It’s about time someone cut your hair.” Aiden mussed the already unruly curls and then threw the covers back. “I’m taking a shower.”

The look Aiden sent me said he hadn’t planned on doing it alone, and my stomach did all kinds of crazy twists and turns. It didn’t help that he strode across the room in all his bare-chested glory. The heat that zinged through my veins was hard to deny, but Deacon apparently wasn’t going anywhere.

I waited until Aiden closed the door and I heard the hiss of the shower before I glanced down at his younger brother. “What?”

His lips tipped up on one side. “We need to chat.”

Having no clue what was going to come out of his mouth, but positive it would be entertaining, I wiggled down and stretched out beside him. “Okay. About what?”

“You need to stay alive.”

Okay, so not what I was expecting. “I’m not planning to off myself, Deacon.”

“No, but you have that look of someone who is facing down death, practically even expects it.” Deacon paused and his gaze went to the bare rafters in the ceiling. “I know what that looks like. I saw it in the mirror for a long time.”