Текст книги "Frigid"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

Chapter 14

Sydney

At first I didn’t know if he was kissing me to get me to stop crying or if there was another motive behind it. A really strange way to do it, but it worked. I stopped crying, because I just stopped thinking. He was kissing me. Years of wondering what this would be like and yearning for this moment had passed, and now his lips were on mine.

And it was such a soft, tender kiss that reached deep inside of me and stole my breath, and then my heart. But Kyler had always had my heart.

His lips brushed mine once, and then twice. I sucked in a sharp breath and my hands fell to his waist. A deep sound emanated from him, and it rumbled through every part of me, eliciting a series of shivers that skated over my skin. The pressure against my lips increased and his hands slid off my cheeks, delving deep into my hair. He slanted his mouth as he tipped my head back, his teeth tugging on my lower lip, coaxing my mouth to open.

My heart sped up so fast I thought it would come out of my chest. My fingers tightened around the soft material of his hoodie, and a small moan escaped me as his tongue flicked over mine. The kiss deepened, and I’d never been kissed like this before—like he was thirsting for the very taste of me. It left me spinning. An ache blossomed deep within me, starting in my heart and spreading like the sweetest fire possible.

Kyler pulled back as his hands slid down to the sides of my face again, cradling my cheeks. His lips brushed mine as he spoke. “Do you get it now?”

I could barely breathe as my eyes fluttered open. “Get what?”

He slanted his head, lining up our mouths once more. “You.”

“Me?” I shuddered as our lips brushed again.

“This is what you deserve.” He pressed a kiss against my lower lip, and I knew at that point I must’ve cracked my head on something and was dreaming, because this couldn’t be real. “And this,” he added, his hands drifting to my shoulders. He pulled me against him, until I was pressed so tightly I could feel every inch of him. “You don’t deserve what you wanted in that sunroom, baby.”

His tongue swept past my parted lips, and I kissed him back like I had dreamed of doing for years. He groaned as his hands snuck to my hips. When he lifted his head again, I was panting. “What else do I deserve?”

One side of his lips tipped up. “Everything, baby, you deserve everything.”

My heart swelled so much that I thought I’d float right up to the ceiling, but confusion trickled in, threatening the happy bubble building in me. “Kyler, I…I don’t understand.”

A dimple appeared in his right cheek as his smile spread, and my heart flopped over heavily. “Then you really don’t get it yet. I think I’m going to have to educate you.”

A thrill coursed through me. The old saying “never look a gift horse in the mouth” was screaming at me right now. Go with it, I told myself. Just go with it. Don’t freeze up. Don’t mess this up, whatever this was. I didn’t want to look back and regret that my mouth and endless questions got in the way. “Educate me?”

“Mmm-hmm,” he murmured, angling his body so our hips pressed together. “By the time I’m done, you will completely understand what I mean. And I think we’ll start with this sweater.”

“The sweater?”

Kyler nipped at my lower lip, and I gasped. “I like the sweater. The color is good on you. Perfect.” He picked up a strand of my hair that had fallen across my chest and draped it over my shoulder. “But you know what I like best about this sweater?”

“What?”

His lashes lifted and his stare pierced me. Tension stirred and coiled tightly within me. The heat in his intense gaze told me I was so, so out of my league with him. The dimple disappeared into a knowing smirk as he slid his fingers under the hem of my sweater. “Figure it out yet?”

I shook my head.

“Hmm…” That low grumble of his had me wanting to knock him flat on his back. His fingers spread across the bare skin of my stomach and my breath caught as they pressed into my ribs. His head cocked to the side and his brows lowered. “Syd, are you not wearing a bra?”

Before I could answer, his hands drifted up further, until the fingertips brushed the swells of my breasts. “You’re not. Very naughty, Syd.”

My lips twitched. “Not like I need—”

“Don’t say it.” His lips captured mine in a long, searing kiss. “Back to the sweater.”

“The sweater?” I repeated dumbly.

He nodded, and for a moment the only sounds in the room were my pounding heart and the crackling of the fire. “The best part about this sweater, other than the fact you look fucking hot as hell in it, is that it comes off.”

Oh, hot damn.

Kyler tugged the sweater off and dropped it on the floor. There was something much more intimate about this than earlier. Even in the shadowy room, I felt more exposed. His gaze traveled from my face and down my throat to my breasts. The tips hardened under his gaze.

He scooped up my hair, framing my chest with its long strands. “Now that we’re past the sweater, let’s talk about these.” His voice was gruff and thick. “These are absolutely perfect.”

With him staring at me like that, I’d never been more proud or happy about my breasts in my life. True story.

He bent his head and the edges of his hair tickled my chest. His lips were so close that I thought I’d die from the anticipation. He kissed one of the small cuts and another, then his lips closed over the tip. Pounding need took root. His hands splayed across the small of my back as he moved to the other breast and suckled deep.

“Perfect,” he said again, and his tongue flicked over the tightened nubs, teasing until I grasped his shoulders, my back arching. He straightened, staring down at me. “You know what’s next?”

My imagination had many answers for that, but I hooked my fingers under the hem of his hoodie. His wide smile, the kind that showed off the dimples in both cheeks, was my reward. He lifted his arms, and off went the hoodie and the shirt underneath.

His chest seemed more flawless now than I remembered. The hard planes of his chest and the dips of his stomach and all that golden skin beckoned me. I leaned into him, biting down on my lip as our skin touched. The cuts were a little sensitive, but it was nothing compared to the other sensations. A shudder rolled through me, and his head dipped to my shoulder. He placed a kiss there, and emotion clogged my throat.

“You’re learning fast. I’m not surprised.” He trailed kisses up my throat, stopping just below my ear. His hands moved between us, thumbs smoothing over the tips of my breasts. “You’ve always been so damn good at everything you do.”

“Not everything,” I admitted with a blush. “This…I’m not good at this.”

Kyler pulled back, one brow arched. “You are amazing at this.”

“No, I’m not.” I laughed, feeling sort of dumb. Sometimes I really just needed to keep my mouth shut. “I’ve only…well, you know, and it was…”

“It was that way because that punk-ass didn’t know what he was doing.” He dropped a kiss against my temple. “And trust me, I know exactly what I’m doing.”

I had no doubts about that.

He took a step forward, forcing me back until I hit the edge of the makeshift bed and the warmth of the fire traveled along my back. “Now about these jeans…”

“What about them?”

He winked, and damn if he didn’t look good doing it. “They’ve got to go.”

I took a breath, but it got stuck. Holding my gaze, his fingers found the drawstring on my sweats and undid it with amazing quickness. Again, this was nothing like before in the sunroom. There wasn’t an ounce of anger in his gaze or actions. There was just arousal and affection and something I was too afraid to acknowledge. And it wasn’t like with Nate, where there had been a lot of awkward fumbling and pushing and then it had been over.

This was slow and sweet and perfect.

God, he was perfect.

Kyler slipped the sweats down my hips. He steadied me as I stepped out of them and I was just in my panties—cute ones too, thank God. He brushed his lips across my forehead as his thumbs caught the strings along my hips. “So, do you get it now?”

“You want me?” My voice sounded strange.

He laughed. “Oh, you were so close, baby.”

I started to frown, but in one unbelievably smooth move, my undies joined the rest of my clothes on the floor. “Good God, if taking off panties was an Olympic sport, you’d have a gold medal.”

His next laugh was deep and rich. “The sport only counts when it’s something you really want to win.” Then he stepped back, his gaze moving over me in a way that made me want to hide myself and let him look his fill at the same time. “You are beautiful, Sydney. You know that? You’re so beautiful, and you don’t even know.”

My throat closed up. Before I started bawling and completely killed the moment, I reached for the button on his jeans, but he caught my wrist. I raised my brows.

He shook his head. “I’m still educating you, Syd.”

“Oh?” I said. The teasing quality to his voice was relaxing, except I was still buck-ass naked, and my skin was on fire for a multitude of reasons. I’d never been this naked with a guy, not even with Nate. When we’d had sex just that one time, I’d been topless and my skirt had been pushed up. That was all.

But now there was no way for me to hide. I’d have thought I’d be more uncomfortable, but as his gaze traveled over me, lingering on some areas more than others, I felt like a goddess standing before him.

Taking my hand, he tugged me down onto the pile of blankets with him. The moment my back hit them, every muscle froze up as I stared up at him. My throat seemed to seize and although I should’ve felt warm, I went ice cold on the inside. Where did my sexy goddess go? She’d run for the damn hills.

Kyler hovered over me, supporting his weight on a hand planted beside my head. His body wasn’t touching mine and he still was half-dressed, but I knew where this was heading. It was what I wanted—had wanted for so long—but I had such little experience in this and I couldn’t bear it if Kyler discovered I was as frigid as Nate had claimed.

And to think Kyler would’ve ended up with a broken nose for nothing.

“Hey,” he said, touching my cheek gently. “You there?”

I nodded.

Kyler stared at me intently. “We don’t have to do anything, Syd. We can stop right here if that’s what you want.”

Cursing myself for being such an idiot, I swallowed. “No. No, I don’t want to stop.”

He moved his hand to my shoulder and my body jerked at the contact. His gaze lifted and he didn’t say anything. Instead, he brought his mouth to mine. The kiss was slow and gentle and it kept going until the tightness seeped out of the muscles in my arms, and then my legs. A different kind of tension built again, turning my blood into molten lava. My hand shook as I placed it on the hard slab of muscle of his stomach.

“That’s good,” he said huskily. “I like when you touch me.”

And I liked touching him. Exploring the dips and rises of his muscles, I marveled at how smooth and tight his skin was.

Running did a body good.

I ran my hands up his chest and over his broad shoulders. His muscles flexed under my touch. His weight came down on me, inch by torturous inch, until my legs tangled with his. The material of his jeans against my bare skin brought forth a sweet rush. My hips tilted up, and he groaned in a way that made me yearn for more. His lower body pressed down against mine, and I could feel him.

Kyler’s lips left mine and before I could mourn their loss they were on my throat, trailing a heated path to my chest. He took his time there, his hands and mouth leaving me breathless. I moved against him, my fingers digging into his back. And then he went further south, his lips making their way down my stomach, around my belly button, and then on to the flare of my hip.

“Starting to understand yet?” he asked, grinning as he slid a hand under my hip, lifting me slightly.

“I…I think so,” I said, watching the shadows dancing over his face. A chill spread along my skin as his lashes lowered. With one hand, he gently spread my legs. I fought the urge to close them as he made the sexiest sound ever known to man.

“I have to do this,” he said, and I knew what he meant. His eyes flicked up, seeking permission. “I really have to do this, baby.”

Pleasure shot through me, but so did trepidation. “I haven’t…I mean, no one has done that before.”

“I know.” He sounded proud and possessive. “It’ll be amazing. I promise.”

I nodded and let my head fall back against the blankets. I knew what to expect. I wasn’t that naive or dumb, but when I felt his finger brush over me, I nearly came right then from the barely-there touch. Just a brush of one finger and my body started shaking and my hips rose up to meet his touch.

“So responsive,” he murmured, slipping one finger inside, causing my back to arch as a soft cry was wrenched from my throat.

Then his head dipped and my back came clear off the covers. The slight stubble on his jaw was tantalizing against my inner thighs. My entire body went rigid and my senses overloaded the moment his mouth touched me there in the sweetest kiss possible.

“Do you get it?” he asked again.

My fingers dug into the blankets as he did something truly wicked with his finger. “Kyler…”

“You don’t deserve to be fucked like a one-night stand.” He kissed the inside of my thigh, and I melted. “You deserve pleasure. It should be all about you, always about you.”

And then his mouth was on me again, his tongue and his fingers. Pleasure coiled tight, and the first pulse was sweet and sharp. My hips rocked shamelessly against what he was doing and his growl of approval sent me right over the edge. My body shattered, broke apart into thousands of little pieces as I cried out his name over and over in a way I might actually be embarrassed about later. It was the most amazing, most complete thing I’d ever felt. It was like flying and falling at the same time.

He rode out the storm, not stopping until the last shudder rolled through me and my breathing began to return to normal. He kissed my thigh again, and then rose up over me, planting his hands on either side of my head. I opened my eyes, dazed.

His grin was part-smug. “Told you it would be amazing.”

“It was…completely amazing.” I reached up, running my fingers over his jaw and then down his throat, his chest. My gaze dropped, and I could see the bulge in his sweats. I slipped my hand down his stomach, but he caught my wrist before I could reach what I wanted, and he rolled onto his side. I turned my head to him, confused. “Don’t you want…?”

His brows rose.

Heat swamped my face, which was so stupid considering what he’d just done. “Don’t you want to go further? I mean, you didn’t come and…” And I just wanted to stop talking all together. This was so embarrassing.

Kyler chuckled as he gathered me in his arms, fitting my back against his front, and I could feel him, still sprouting a raging hard-on. “I’m okay. This was about you.”

“You don’t feel ‘okay.’” I wiggled my behind, and he groaned. A smile pulled at my lips. “See?”

“Yeah, I see and I feel.”

I tipped my head back so I could see him and I bit down on my lip, hoping my next question wouldn’t sound incredibly lame. “Don’t you want to?”

“Don’t I want to?” Disbelief colored his voice. A hand fell to my waist as he pushed his hips forward, grinding against my rear in a way that had me aching all over again. “I want nothing more than to get inside of you and stay there.”

A shudder worked its way down my spine. “Then why aren’t you?”

He smoothed my hair off my cheek, tucking it back behind my ear. “I wanted to do that for you and I…well, I usually don’t do that with other girls.”

My stomach soured at the mention of other girls, but I ignored it. “Are you blushing?”

“No,” he huffed. “I don’t blush.”

“Uh-huh, must be the shadows, then.” I folded my arms across my chest. “So you don’t do that? Because it felt like you really had a lot of experience with that.”

He laughed again as he sat up, reaching for a blanket. He pulled it over us, tucking it around me. “I didn’t say I never did it.”

I considered that. There were a few girls over the years that he had hung out with for a while. I could imagine that he must’ve done that for them, but that still didn’t answer why he hadn’t gone further with me. I wished my brain would shut up because it was really starting to get on my nerves.

Kyler’s hand slid around my waist. “I want to, Syd. I really do. So don’t start filling your head up with bullshit. I just wanted to do that for you.” He paused, pressing his lips against my cheek. “And there’s the fact that the condoms are upstairs and walking is going to be difficult for me right now.”

I giggled, unable to help myself. “I’m on the pill.”

He groaned. “You’re so not helping.”

“You always use condoms, right? Please tell me you’ve used condoms.”

“I’ve never not used a condom.”

Relief washed over me. “So…”

“Syd, baby, you are killing me.”

I grinned as I rolled onto my back. “There’re other things I can do, you know. I’ve done other stuff.”

His chest rose sharply and he stilled. “You don’t owe it to me, Syd. That’s not why I did that.”

I thought about the few times I’d given head or hand jobs. All of them had been with Nate throughout those years in high school and whatnot. I’d done it because I’d felt like I had to or Nate would’ve moved on. Such a stupid thing to worry about, and I honestly would’ve been better off if he had, but all that was beside the point. I wasn’t sure if I’d do it as well as everyone else, but it wasn’t because I owed Kyler.

Wiggling onto my side, I tipped my head back and met his gaze. The blanket slipped past my shoulders, but I barely even noticed. “I want to do it. Not because I feel like I need to, but because I want to.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw as he lifted himself up on one arm, and I thought he might run away. Taking a deep breath and mustering up my courage before I lost it, I placed my hand between his legs and cupped him. His entire body jerked as if he’d been shocked. I forced my eyes up, meeting his. “Are you going to tell me no?”

His eyes looked almost black, and what felt like forever passed before he reached down, placing his hand over mine. He didn’t say anything, but he rocked his hips forward, pressing himself into my hand.

That was answer enough for me.

Chapter 15

Kyler

Honest to God, this hadn’t been my intention when I started this. Hell, I wasn’t sure I even knew what I was starting when I’d kissed her, except that I wanted to and I wanted her to stop crying, to understand that she deserved so much more than what she’d been asking for.

But now?

Yeah, all thoughts of pleasing her, and then going to sleep—albeit uncomfortably—jumped right out the window the second she gripped me in her small hand. Even with my hand over hers, I knew I shouldn’t let her do this. I’d lost count of how many times I’d gotten a hand job and it seemed to go against nature to refuse one, but Syd…?

It was like my wildest fantasies coming true all over again, and with her taste still lingering in my mouth, I’d never been harder in my life. No one, no girl I’d ever known, compared to how she felt around my finger and against my mouth.

But this was Sydney, beautiful-as-fuck Syd.

She peered up at me through those dark lashes and, aw hell, I was always a sucker for those big blue eyes of hers. A small, tentative grin appeared on her swollen lips. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

The eagerness in her gaze was my undoing, and my self-control broke faster than an egg hitting the floor.

Probably made me the biggest asshole in the country, but fuck the whole gentlemanly thing. I was seconds away from coming already and I still had my sweats on. How awkward would that be?

I removed my hand from hers. “Take it however you want, baby.”

Her grin spread into a smile that was so bright it was almost too hard to look at. Pressure clamped down on my chest, unexpected and intense. I moved to stop her, but then her hand slid down the length of me and…and yeah, she had me. I was all hers.

In reality, even though I’d been with everyone else, I’d always been Syd’s.

Putting my weight on my shoulders, I lifted up so she could tug off my sweats. I figured she’d hesitate with the boxers, so I wasn’t surprised when she stopped, her fingers wrapped around the band.

She glanced up, brows raised. “Christmas elves?”

I gave a lopsided shrug. “I’m sticking with a theme.”

“I can tell.” She bit down on that damn lip, and that made me want to kiss her again, but then she pulled my boxers down carefully, freeing me, and the air punched out of my lungs. She didn’t stop until they joined my sweats, and then she sat up, the blanket pooling around her waist.

Damn.

Staring at her, my entire body twitched. Damn it, she was sexy as hell with her dark hair tumbling over her shoulders, partially obscuring her breasts. Whoever said men were visual creatures was totally on point with that.

Reaching up, I brushed the heavy locks over her shoulder, baring one of her perky breasts. She stilled, looking incredibly adorable as she squirmed. I could watch her forever and a day.

She ducked her head and her hair fell back on her shoulder as she wrapped her fingers around my base and holy shit. My back bowed as her hand slowly slid up and then back down. I squeezed my eyes shut because I knew if I kept staring at her I’d lose it in seconds.

Not that I was far away from doing so anyway.

Her hand moved in slow, determined strokes, the movements a little clumsy, but there was something even sexier about that. She was unsure of herself, but that hadn’t stopped her. Nothing stopped Sydney, and I bet if I opened my eyes, that little jaw of hers would be set in concentration.

I had to see, and damn if I wasn’t right. My entire body tightened as her grip became more confident and faster. “Uh, baby, I’m not…”

She looked up, her lips slightly parted and cheeks flushed. Her chest moved rapidly, and pleasure built at the top of my spine, about to power down. “Am I—”

“You’re fucking perfect—too perfect.”

She smiled again, and I had to close my damn eyes again, because if I fell into her eyes, I’d never resurface. Her hand slowed at the top, her thumb crested the head, and I groaned as my legs stiffened. I wasn’t—

Holy hell!

The hot, wet warmth of her mouth closed around me and that sent me right over the edge. My back jackknifed. I tried to pull her away, but she was latched onto me and not going anywhere. I kicked my head back, my fingers clenching in her hair. The explosion rolled down my spine and there was no stopping it. The release shook me from the inside, and she stayed there, her mouth and hand working until I stopped pulsing. I was utterly destroyed in a way I’d never been before—that amazing, perfect kind of way.

Breathing raggedly, I gripped her by her upper arms. I pulled her up over me, laying her across my chest. Our legs tangled, and her weight was nothing on me, but I felt her in every bone.

An unexpected tremor got me as she rested her cheek just above my heart. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. I knew she’d get cold soon, but I was too much of a selfish bastard to let her go long enough to find that damn blanket.

Feeling her softness all around me, I held her until my heart slowed, until I could open my eyes again, and that felt like forever.

A languid peace invaded my body, but I didn’t fall asleep easily. There was a part of me that didn’t want to fall asleep, because I didn’t want to miss a second of her soft breaths. She’d passed out atop me and, with a smile pulling at my lips, I placed her on her side and nestled her against my chest with the covers pulled snug over us. The fire would last until the morning, but a chill had already seeped into the room.

I’d never slept with a girl before, like, shared the same bed or even the same blanket after sex. The other girls usually left, and if they fell asleep afterward, I’d slept wherever they weren’t. Syd had always been the only female that I’d ever spent an entire night with, so I wasn’t surprised that it didn’t feel weird to do so now, even though everything was different between us.

Starting with the fact she was curled up against me—completely, beautifully naked. Her bare back rested against my chest and the fantastic curve of her ass pressed against me. I hadn’t put any clothes back on, so I was hard. Actually, I don’t think I’d lost the hard-on.

I was propped up on my elbow, cheek against my fist. I’d been like that for at least an hour, watching her. She had the thickest lashes I’d ever seen. Not the cosmetically enhanced kind that were clumpy or spidery. They fanned the tops of her cheeks—cheeks lightly dusted with pale freckles. Her lips were slightly parted and plump. Swollen from my kisses. A surge of male pride came over me, and I leaned down, pressing a kiss to her temple.

Syd murmured something and shifted. My hand stilled against her stomach. I’d been tracing circles around her belly button, but every time she’d move that sweet ass, it antagonized what hung between my legs.

She settled down pretty quickly, not waking at all.

My gaze traveled over her face. There was no need to commit each delicate, beautifully-crafted line to memory, because I already had ages ago.

The blanket had slipped off her shoulder, and I pulled it back up. In her sleep, a smile graced her lips, and my chest tightened.

Sighing, I stretched out beside her and tightened my hold, repositioning Syd so her head fit under mine. Didn’t take long to drift off to sleep. I might’ve only slept a couple of hours before a noise woke me, but it was the best damn sleep I ever had.

My eyes snapped open. Pale gray light slipped in through the gap in the curtains, and the fire was almost out. Immediately on guard, I held my breath as I listened. The noise came again—a deep howling of wind. I released my breath slowly. I hated being jumpy as fuck, but after everything that had happened, I would rather be paranoid.

Tipping my head down, I checked out Syd. She had turned in her sleep, snuggling close. One leg was thrown over mine, and her head rested on my chest. Her hand was curled above my heart. And I was still so damn hard I was beginning to wonder if it was going to become a permanent fixture.

Damn.

My hand shook as I reached up, brushing the hair off her cheek. I loathed getting up, but I didn’t want her to wake up to a freezing room. As gently as I could, I slid out from underneath her. The girl had to have been worn out, because she barely stirred as I rose and pulled another blanket up over her.

I tugged on my sweats, ignoring the urge to get back under those covers and wake her up in a way I doubted Nate ever had. Throwing the hoodie on, I padded out of the room. I immediately winced.

Hell’s bells, it was freezing in the rest of the house.

I peeked out around the Christmas tree and saw that the snow was still falling, but it was lighter. Everything was covered to the point it looked like Antarctica outside. Man, I had no idea how long it was going to take them to clear the roads up here, or even if the plows could get out now.

Moving around the house, I checked the doors and windows like I had OCD. Everything was fine—locked and secured. As I headed down to the garage for firewood, my brain replayed everything like it was stuck on the Syd channel.

In the early morning hours and in the silent house, I couldn’t believe last night had happened. Cursing as my feet hit the ice-cold cement of the garage, I hurried around the SUV and snowmobiles and gathered some of the dried-out logs. Shoes would’ve been smart, dumbass. That was how bad my brain was stuck on her. Fuck, when she’d said the “love” part, I was completely lost in her.

I had been lost in her for a while now.

It wasn’t like my feelings for her were new, or that I’d discovered them when I had my mouth on her or when she blurted out that half-finished sentence. Shit like that didn’t happen. Maybe some people woke up one day and fell in love. Not me. This had grown over a period of time, kicking off when she’d gone out on her first date with Nate. Till this day, I still remembered that bitter bite of jealousy when she’d told me she was dating him. Before then, I really hadn’t understood how I felt for Sydney. Fuck. We’d still been kids in a lot of ways, and I was just discovering the happy, happy times to be had with the opposite sex.

Not until after Syd had told me that Nate had ended things had I realized the extent of what I felt for her. Because I hadn’t been sad or upset—I had been glad. I had felt relief. That alone made me so undeserving of Syd, but it was the truth. I was a bastard. Still was.

I knew that moment, while we stood outside the science building on campus, that I loved her. Not in the best-friend kind of way. Not in the almost-like-a-little-sister kind of way. I loved her in a way that transcended those things. And I was in love with her.

None of that had changed anything. My feelings for her were just something I didn’t acknowledge. I refused to let it grow into something more than a yearning that couldn’t be quenched. People did that all the time. I was just one of many.

Syd was always too good for me. Never once had I thought she could’ve possibly felt anything more than friendship when it came to me, and I still wasn’t a hundred percent sure, because I couldn’t understand how she could be in love with me after watching me—her words exactly—“fuck anything that walks” for years.

How could she?

I didn’t get it.

And I also didn’t want to question it, at least not right now. I had, what? A day or two of living out what I’d always wanted before reality bitch-smacked me in the face, because I did know one thing for certain. There was a really good chance that, when she left this place, got back in the real world, she’d realize she could do better than me. Find a guy who wasn’t about to turn down a career guaranteed to make money—and who hadn’t spent the last seven years going after every girl except her.

Sydney

I woke to the smell of freshly-brewed coffee, which didn’t make sense, because I was sure that we’d lost power. Maybe I’d dreamt that.