Текст книги "Frigid"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

“But you don’t want just a friendship.”

“No.”

Her brow rose. “But you don’t want a relationship?”

I opened my mouth.

Andrea leaned forward. “I get that you’re mad, and trust me, you have every right. Kyler has spent how long being the universal bicycle that had no training wheels? And he has a lot to make up for, because his actions hurt you. And I’m not saying you even have to forgive him. Honestly, I’d totally understand if you didn’t. Guys suck, Kyler among them, but…” She tapped her fingers. “But if you are in love with him, and not forgiving him hurts more than forgiving him does, Syd, and he wants to make it up to you, you’d be a fool to walk away from that.”

Knots formed in my belly as I stared at my friend. Not forgiving Kyler would hurt worse in the end, even if we only remained friends. Holding on to the anger would create nothing but bitterness. But I also didn’t want to be the person who gave so much of herself to someone who didn’t deserve it and ended up never being whole again.

I sighed, unsure of what to do or say. “I don’t know, Andrea. Maybe after some time passes, things will go back to normal.” I felt stronger for saying that. Hopeful. Maybe we could move past this, eventually. That seemed more likely than Kyler professing his undying love for me. “I guess we’ll just see.”

“You’re right. We will see.”

I raised a brow at her.

Andrea leaned back, dropping her hands on her legs. “All right, well, don’t hate me.”

Suspicion blossomed and spread like a weed through my mind. “Why would I hate you?”

A sheepish look crept into her expression.

“Andrea.”

She bit down on her lip and cringed. “I sort of invited guests to our dinner.”

My stomach roiled. “What?”

“Well, I sort of told Tanner that we were going out to dinner, and he made the suggestion that it would be a good idea to invite Kyler, so it’s really Tanner’s fault, not mine.”

All I could do for several seconds was stare at her while part of me started doing squealing jumping jacks and the other part wanted to get up and run for the door. “You didn’t.”

“Ah…”

“Andrea!” I whispered.

She smiled tentatively. “I sort of texted them where we were, and they should be here any minute.”

Chapter 22

Kyler

“This is probably the worst idea you’ve had in a long time.” I killed the engine and sat back, clenching the keys in my hand until the jagged edges cut into my palm. “Seriously.”

Tanner snorted. “I can come up with an entire list of worse ideas, but hey, you’re sober for the first time in two days. And just in time for the holidays.”

Leaning my head back against the headrest, I groaned. “It still feels like someone is slamming an ice pick into my temples.”

“You were pretty drunk,” Tanner commented, reaching for the door. “Which is why I think this dinner is the best idea ever.”

I rubbed my palm along my chin, frowning at the growth of stumble there. I hadn’t shaved since the first night at Snowshoe. “Yeah, you’d think that, since Syd doesn’t hate your guts.”

Tanner rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t hate your guts. I don’t think that would ever be possible.”

“Oh, it’s possible. Trust me.”

“Look, I don’t know what really went down between you two, but something did. It’s not the end of the world.” Tanner opened the passenger door and a wealth of frigid air streamed into the SUV. “So stop being a pussy and get out of the car.”

I shot him a dirty look, but I climbed out. As I joined him on the other side, I asked the question I’d already asked a dozen times. “She’s knows I’m going to be here, right?”

“Yep.” Tanner opened the door and motioned me in. Once we got past the hostess, he glanced at me. “Okay. I lied. I don’t think Syd knows.”

“What?” I stopped in the middle of the aisle, nearly causing a waiter to slam into me. I glared at Tanner. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Tanner clamped his hand on my shoulder, steering me away from the packed round table in my path. “Nope. Chill out. I’m sure she knows by now.”

Easy for him to say “chill out,” but I felt like I was walking in front of a firing squad. So many times since Syd left Snowshoe, I’d fought the urge to call her. I wanted nothing more than to hear her voice and to see her. And yeah, my fucking stupid-ass heart was bouncing all over the place, but Syd had made herself pretty damn clear.

“You’re a bastard,” I grumbled, running a hand through my hair. Man, I wished I’d shaved. While I had showered, I was sure I still smelled like whiskey. That shit would be bleeding out of my pores for days to come.

I saw Andrea before I saw Syd, and my heart pounded like I’d run up and down the quad, and I was sweating like a whore in church on Sunday. Tanner got in front of me somehow, proving that I was dragging my feet like a mofo.

The bastard took the seat next to Andrea, who had the biggest, fakest smile known to man on her face. Of course, I wanted to sit next to Sydney. I also wanted to touch her, hold her close, and kiss her. There were other things that I wanted to do to her, things that kept me up late at night in a drunken stupor with my hand between my legs.

But I was also sure she might punch me in the balls.

Needing to pull it together, I told myself that the best thing to do was to act normal. With that in mind, I stepped beside the table and looked at Syd.

A heartbeat passed and she looked up, large blue eyes fixed right on me, and it was like seeing Jesus. Okay. Maybe not seeing Jesus, but it was definitely like being socked in the chest and hearing angels harking.

God. Damn. She was beautiful. Wasn’t that I had forgotten that, but after things ending so fucked-up between us, it felt like years instead of days since I’d seen her. Those eyes…they were astonishingly blue and clear. Stunning. There were dark smudges under them, a shade darker than her skin. I wanted to smooth them away, but managed to keep my hands to myself. But then my gaze dropped to her lips, and they parted on a sharp inhale. A faint flush spread across her cheeks and I wanted to chase it with my fingers, my mouth, my tongue…

Everyone was staring at me.

Clearing my throat, I forced myself to sit down and placed my hands on the table. I glanced at Syd. “Hey.”

Her face was blood-red. No one blushed like she did. “Hey.”

Across from me, Tanner raised a brow. Andrea started playing with a piece of bread like she was two. No one spoke, and Syd was so stiff I thought she’d break in half.

Wow, this was awkward as hell. I needed to leave.

“So, is everyone excited about Christmas?” Andrea chirped.

Tanner looked at her and said in a deadpan voice, “I am so excited.”

Her eyes narrowed shrewdly. “You don’t sound excited.”

“Well, I’m not twelve.” Tanner cocked his head to the side. “Christmas ain’t that interesting once you grow up.”

“What?” she gasped, eyes wide. “Christmas ain’t that interesting once you grow up?”

He shrugged.

“You’re un-American,” she accused.

Syd’s lips pursed.

Tanner looked unaffected. “Man, I just like the time off from school, and the food. That’s it.”

“But it means more than that.” Andrea shook her head and curls flew everywhere. “What about the presents?”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s what Christmas is about,” he commented.

Andrea huffed. “That is what Christmas is about. Anyone who says differently is trying to make themselves look all spiritual and shit. I keep it real.”

My gaze slid over to Syd and she looked at me, brows raised. Our eyes locked and for a moment, a sweet fucking moment, it was like it used to be. Us sitting back, listening to Andrea and Tanner annoy the living shit out of each other. We should have popcorn when those two went at it.

But then Syd cast her eyes at her glass and started fiddling with her straw, and that was a cold reminder that things weren’t normal. Syd was never this quiet, and things were never strained between us.

I couldn’t say I regretted the time with her though, because I didn’t. Hated how it ended. Looking back, there were a lot of females I’d wished I’d kept my dick in my pants with, but Syd would never be one of them.

The waiter showed up and got our drink and food order. Small talk was made, mostly on Tanner and Andrea’s end. They kept it going so there wasn’t an awkward lull in conversation, but sitting here, not talking to Syd, was wrong on so many levels.

Leaning back, I looked over at her. She tipped her chin up at the same moment and our gazes collided for another second. I sort of felt like an inept schoolboy. It was that bad. “So, your lip looks a lot better.”

She blinked. I was a dumbass.

“It healed up pretty quickly,” she said, training her gaze on her glass. “Just a little mark.”

That was good to hear. “Your jaw?”

“It doesn’t hurt at all.”

It seriously was a relief to hear that. Even drunk off my rocker, I’d been going out of my mind with worry for her.

“Your knuckles still look a little raw,” she said, causing me to look up.

Our eyes locked and held this time. “What?”

“Your knuckles,” she said in a quiet voice as she reached over to the hand I had on the table. I held my breath as she ran her fingertips over my knuckles. It was a feather-light touch, but it traveled straight through me and I jerked. She pulled her hand back, casting her gaze to the table. “Do they hurt?”

“No.” My voice sounded thick. “They don’t hurt at all, baby.”

Her lashes swept up, and her eyes darted across my face like she was looking for something, but then she looked across the table.

Andrea cleared her throat. “Did you guys hear that they’re calling for another snowstorm next week, on New Year’s Eve?”

And so that’s how the conversation went for a while. Andrea or Tanner would smooth over the tense silence with some random statement, Syd and I barely said more than an entire sentence to one another, and then the food came.

Syd had ordered a steak, but she just seemed to cut it up into tiny pieces and push it around her plate with her fork. “You’re not hungry?”

She glanced up, tucking back her hair with her free hand. “I guess I ate too much bread.”

My gaze went to the half loaf that remained and I arched a brow. “Doesn’t look like you ate that much.”

Her fingers tightened around the handle of her knife, and I wondered if she was fantasizing about stabbing me with it. “How do you know that’s not our second or third loaf?”

“It’s our first,” Andrea announced, stopping a deep conversation about the differences between the zombies from The Walking Dead and 28 Days Later.

Syd shot her friend a look, and I hid a grin. Andrea shrugged and turned back to Tanner. “The infected are not the same as the zombies in The Walking Dead.”

Tanner shook his head. “Is there really a difference?”

I shook my head as she went into a deep description of the differences. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Syd grin as she speared a piece of steak with her fork. She glanced at me. “The infected are different,” she whispered.

A smile pulled at my lips and tugged at my heart. “I believe you.”

She met my stare for a moment, and then attacked another piece of steak, dipping it into her mashed potatoes.

“Are you going to your grandparents for Christmas?” It was a stupid question to ask. She always did, but I wanted to say something.

Syd nodded. “My parents want to leave Christmas Eve and stay the night with them. How about you?”

“Grandpa is coming down this year, doing the Christmas morning thing with us.”

“Wow. He’s driving down from Morgan County by himself?”

“Yep.” Pride filled my voice. “The man is as old as dirt, but he’s still running around like he’s twenty.”

“Your grandpa is so funny. Remember when he tried to build a redneck playground in your mom’s backyard with the crane?”

I laughed. “Yeah, Mom wasn’t too happy about that.”

“Neither were the neighbors.” Out of habit—and I knew that was what led to this—she pried off half the shrimp off the skewers and placed them on my plate. She didn’t even seem to realize she’d done it until she was done, but then her brows knitted and she fell silent.

I already missed the ease of conversation and felt the chill like a harsh arctic wind. “I told Mom about going to vet school.”

“What?” She dropped her knife as she twisted toward me. “You did?”

Thrilled with the fact I had her full attention, I ignored Andrea and Tanner, who’d stopped arguing for five seconds. “Yeah.”

“Well?” Excitement turned her eyes into shining sapphires. “What did she say?”

The dreaded conversation had happened about fifteen minutes after I’d walked through the door when I’d gotten back from Snowshoe. And approximately fifteen minutes after that, I’d started drinking. “Ah, she wasn’t too thrilled about it. There were tears, but I think in the end, she knows it’s what I want.”

“She cried?” Syd winced. “Oh, no.”

I nodded. “She seems better with it now, but I think it’s going to take a little bit for her to get used to it.” Leaning back, I spread my legs until my thigh pressed into hers. Totally on purpose, and she didn’t shy away. I took that as a good sign. “I’m glad I finally got it out in the open. It’s really because of you.”

“Me?” she squeaked.

Tanner tilted his head to the side, brows raised.

I was going to punch him in the face later. “Well, you know, after we talked about it, I knew I had to say something to her soon. You…you gave me the courage to do it.”

Tanner choked.

I was seriously going to spin-kick him in the balls, but Syd smiled—smiled so widely and beautifully that Tanner’s balls might be safe. “That’s great,” she said. “I’m happy for you. Really. I know that’s what you want, and you’ll be great at it.”

Pressure clamped down on my chest, and there was so much I needed to say. Now wasn’t the right time, but I had to say something, because I was two seconds from climbing all over her. “What are you doing afterwards?”

“Nothing,” Andrea answered for her. “She’s doing absolutely nothing.”

Syd slowly turned to Andrea, and I wanted to hug the damn girl. “So you have nothing to do,” I cut in before Syd could say anything. She turned back to me, and I felt like everything came down to this minute. If she said no, then I knew it was done. My muscles seized like I was about to hit a high slope. “Can we—?”

“Kyler Quinn,” a smooth, throaty voice interrupted. “Hot damn, it’s going to be my lucky night.”

Sydney

The dinner had started off in the seven different circles of hell, but over the course of the meal, I’d relaxed. Not completely, because sitting next to Kyler was a true test of self-control. I was torn between wanting to crawl into his arms and wanting to kick him out of the booth.

But with him looking at me like I was the only thing he needed in his life? I was starting to side with the crawling-into-his-lap part when a voice made to get guys drop their pants slithered over my skin like snakes.

Forcing my gaze away from Kyler’s dark brown eyes, I saw a girl I barely recognized. Took me a few minutes to remember her name was Corie. We’d gone to high school together. Had no idea what she’d been up to over the years, but I remembered who’d been up her several times in high school.

My gaze traveled over her red, skintight sweater. Corie had boobs dreams were made of. She looked at me, and I knew she dismissed my presence outright. Like there was no way the fact that Kyler was sitting next to me at a table meant anything.

Any other time, this probably wouldn’t have bothered me. If anything, I was used to random chicks approaching Kyler everywhere we went. The boy was well-traveled, but right now, after everything? Yeah, it did not make me feel warm or fuzzy.

Andrea muttered something under her breath as Kyler turned slowly. “Hey,” he said evenly. “How’ve you been, Corie?”

Corie popped a hand on her hip as her red-painted lips spread into a smile. “I’ve been good. Haven’t seen you around lately. Guess you’re home for Christmas?”

“No shit,” Andrea muttered under her breath, and I was sure Corie hadn’t heard her.

Tanner pressed his lips together as he suddenly became invested in the food on his plate.

“Yeah, I’m home for a little while.” Kyler dropped his arm along the back of the seat behind me. “Then we’re heading back to school.”

If “we’re” was a hidden code for something, no one got it, especially not Corie. She tossed pretty blonde waves over her shoulder, and then crossed her arms. Even my eyes went straight to her cleavage. “I’m on break, too, from Shepherd, until the fifteenth of January. We should get together.”

It was like I wasn’t even sitting there.

“I don’t know about that,” Kyler replied diplomatically. “I’m going to be real busy, but it was good seeing you, okay?”

Corie blinked, and her lips formed a perfect O. I was doing the same thing. I couldn’t even think of a time that Kyler had shot down a pretty girl. Granted, it could be because I was sitting right there, and given our newly acquired history, he was being a little more discreet than normal.

My gaze caught Andrea’s and she had this biggest cat-ate-every-canary-in-the-cage grin, and I couldn’t help the smirk that graced my lips.

“Well, call me. I’ll make time for you, if you make time for me.” Corie smiled, but it lacked the confidence of earlier. “See you around.”

Kyler nodded.

After Corie bounced off somewhere, silence descended on the table and the smirk slipped away from my lips. Unease turned the food in my stomach and I wished I hadn’t eaten what I had. Tanner was still studying his food like he was going to be tested on it. Andrea was remarkably quiet, which meant the apocalypse had started, and Kyler was staring off in the distance, a muscle working in his jaw. I don’t know exactly what made it all sink in then, but I suddenly realized, like really understood, that what had happened between us affected every aspect of our lives.

Even our friends.

Because right now, Tanner and Andrea were most likely experiencing a mad case of secondhand embarrassment, or they just didn’t know how to handle the situation. Maybe they felt bad for me, or they felt awkward on behalf of Kyler. They were probably waiting to see how I’d react, if I’d get mad or jealous or run off in tears.

Even if Kyler and I got past this and moved on as friends, our friends would always be uncomfortable. The weight of that knowledge settled on my shoulders and I slumped down, wanting nothing more than to go home and crawl into bed.

The truth, no matter what Andrea said or I wanted to believe, was that Kyler wasn’t the kind of guy who was into commitments. And if he wanted to be with me, he would’ve called or done something after I left. Anything other than drinking himself into a stupor, and of course he probably wanted to salvage our friendship. He was…he was a good guy like that.

Andrea smiled at me, and she seemed to sense how far my mood had plummeted. “You ready to get out of here?”

Ignoring Kyler’s sharp look, I nodded. I don’t think at that moment there was anything I wanted more than to get the hell out of there.

Chapter 23

Kyler

The girls made a quick exit, leaving Tanner and me to our own devices. He ordered a beer, and if I weren’t driving, I would’ve ordered an entire bottle of Jim Beam.

“That went brilliantly,” I said, rubbing my temples.

Tanner snickered. “I didn’t think it went that bad. Well, when Blondie showed up, that was about ten kinds of awkward, but…”

“That was just awkward?” I couldn’t believe that Corie had popped by our table. Syd and I seemed to be getting somewhere and then BAM, a blast from the past. Perfect fucking timing. “I’m sure Syd enjoyed that.”

He took a swig of his beer. “Buddy, you need to tell me what happened between you two, because a week ago, Sydney probably would’ve been irked about that, but she wouldn’t have cared that much. So stop with the bullshit and tell me what happened.”

I arched a brow at him.

Tanner winked. “Or I’ll get the girl version from Andrea, in which you will come across as a giant ass. Tell me your side of the story.”

“I am a giant ass.”

He tipped his chin down. “Do tell.”

The last thing I wanted to be doing was talking female problems with Tanner, but shit, I could tell by the way Andrea acted, she knew. He’d find out sooner or later. So I told him the bare basics. No way in hell was I going to go into detail, not about Syd, because that was just wrong. When I finished, I really didn’t feel any better. Sort of just confirmed how much of an ass I’d been this entire time—years of being the King of Assdom.

Tanner sat back, shaking his head slowly. “I think I need another beer to digest all of that.”

“Shit. You and me both.” I ran a hand through my hair. “So yeah, I fucked up. Royally.”

“Well, people have fucked up more than you have, bro. Trust me on that.” He leaned forward, expression serious. “The shit with Zach is fucking terrible, but you didn’t know that stuff was going to happen. Sydney’s a reasonable girl. She’ll get over that.”

“I don’t think I can get over that.” I paused, staring at the table. “The fucker hurt her because of what I did in my past. If it wasn’t for me, she never would’ve gone through that.”

“But you didn’t do that to her.”

“Is there really a difference?”

“Yes,” Tanner said adamantly. “It’s not a huge difference. You did create the situation, but you didn’t force that fucker to do anything. That’s not on you, bro. It’s not.”

I got what he was saying, but it would take a lot to absolve me of that guilt.

“And that’s not the big issue,” Tanner said, eyeing me. “Did you lie to her about Sasha?”

“Shit.” I raised my hands. “I really don’t know. I mean, when Syd asked me about her, it was before anything went down between us. I didn’t think Syd really thought of me any different. All I said was that Sasha and I weren’t like that. And we’re not. We hooked up once over a year ago. I just wasn’t thinking when I said it to Syd.”

“Hmm, technicalities are a bitch.” Tanner finished off his beer, eyes narrowed. “Did you really think Sydney didn’t have it bad for you?”

“No. I didn’t. I couldn’t think that, because if…”

“If she didn’t, then it would ruin your friendship. I get that, but damn, that girl…you must’ve been rocking some serious denial.” He shrugged. “Makes sense, though—you secretly wanting her and shit.”

“It does?”

Tanner laughed. “Yeah, man, you didn’t like it if a guy even looked in her direction. Hell, if I looked at her too long, you’d get pissed. And when you went after Nate? That’s some pretty hardcore ‘friendship’ right there.”

“Shut up,” I growled.

He smirked. “So what are you going to do? Be a pussy, or fix this?”

“Excuse me?” I shook my head. “Dude, you’re lucky I like you.”

“You’re lucky I don’t bullshit around.” He winked as he pulled the sleeve of his sweater down, covering one of the intricate tattoos etched into his arm. “Look. I’m being serious. You love this girl, right?”

For once in my life, I didn’t hesitate. “Yes. I love her, Tanner.” Holy shit, that was the first time I’d said it out loud. It shook me up and my voice was thick. “I love her more than anything.”

“Then what’s the deal?”

I stared at him. “I’m pretty sure I listed all the problems.”

“You listed a bunch of unfortunate shit is what you did. Nothing not fixable. It isn’t like you did something unforgivable. It’s not like one of you two is dead.”

I didn’t know what to say at first. “Damn…” And that was all I could say.

Tanner sighed. “A lot of people would kill to have the chance to be with the one they love. Don’t mess it up.”

He never really talked about his past, and other than the weirdness between him and Andrea, he didn’t really talk to girls. Slipping in and out of their beds? That was more up Tanner’s alley. “What about you?” I asked.

“Me?” He laughed again. “I am allergic to that shit. Love? Nope. All I’ve seen that do is tear people down and fuck up lives. I don’t want any part of that.”

My brows shot up in surprise. “Whoa. That’s…that’s positive.”

“Whatever. We aren’t talking about me and we aren’t going to, so get that look off your face.”

I raised my hands. “Message received.”

Tanner cocked his head to the side and gave a tight smile. “Anyway, all I’m saying is, why are you still sitting here talking to me?”

Staring at him a moment, I shrugged. “Who else is going to drive your grumpy ass home?”

Sydney

Changing into my pajama bottoms, I tugged a long, thick cardigan on over my tank top as I padded downstairs in my slippers. Feeling incredibly mommy-needy, I was disappointed to find her already passed out on the couch next to Dad, the multicolored lights from the Christmas tree flashing over their forms. I resisted the urge to wiggle between them and demand attention.

I headed into the kitchen and grabbed the box of cocoa out of the cabinet. Once done, I took my chocolate goodness upstairs and set it on my nightstand to cool down. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun as I shuffled over to the bookcase. What I needed was to lose myself in a good book—one with tons of sex and angst, complete with an unbelievable happily-ever-after that made me love and hate the book at the same time.

As my gaze traveled over the spines, some straight and others warped, my brain wandered right into annoying territory. It had a name—Kyler. God. I didn’t want to think about him. I didn’t want to think about how he’d looked at me when I’d left with Andrea, like I’d hurt his feelings or something.

Pulling out an old favorite, I headed back to my bed and plopped down. I dropped the book on the bedspread and picked up my hot cocoa, wishing I’d had the foresight to grab some of those tiny marshmallows.

I tried getting into the book, but I found myself reading the same paragraph two or three times and still having no idea what I was reading. Flopping onto my back, I placed my arms over my face and groaned. I wanted to cry, to scream, to rage, and to shove my head under a pillow.

In a weird way, it felt like a year had passed since I’d left for Snowshoe. So much had changed in such a short span of time. Had it really only been last week that I’d briefly considered seeing if Paul was interested in me? Was it only a week since my heart had been slightly bruised but completely whole? Now I couldn’t even think about going out with anyone.

And my heart was utterly demolished.

What was I supposed to do from here? Try to pretend like nothing happened? That wasn’t going to work. Avoid him? That would be so hard, almost impossible to consider. I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears. How could I avoid him when he was such an intricate part of my life?

What if Kyler now thought I was as frigid as Nate had claimed?

Rolling over, I shoved my face in the pillow. I was going to drive myself crazy, because I didn’t have answers for any of this. And there’d be no—

Tap.

I lifted up onto my elbows and frowned. Had I already gone crazy? Because I’d swear I thought I’d heard a—

Tap.

Pushing onto my knees, I twisted, scanning the room. I didn’t see anything that could have made that noise.

“Okay,” I whispered, sliding off the bed. I walked to the center of the room and stood completely still.

Tap.

I jumped.

Oh my God, what if my house was haunted now? Or what if I was about to pull some Black Swan shit? What if—

Tap.

I whipped toward the window. Aha! It was coming from my bedroom window…two floors off the ground. What in the world?

And then it hit me. The sound—oh, holy-baby-Jesus-in-a-manger—the sound was familiar. It wasn’t a ghost, but insanity was still an option, because it couldn’t be what I thought it was.

Years ago, Kyler used to throw rocks before he’d climbed the massive walnut tree outside my bedroom window. So cliché and ridiculous, but he did it up until middle school.

It couldn’t be.

My legs shook as I took a step forward, and then two. I reached the window, and hands trembling, I parted the filmy white curtains. A second later, a small rock smacked off the thick glass of the bottom part of the window.

I froze as my heart sped up, and then I lurched forward, unlocking the tiny latch and lifting the window up. I slid the screen up next and leaned out into the freezing December air.

And my heart skipped a beat.

Kyler stood below, next to the lit wire reindeer, a knit cap pulled low, one arm raised. He let go a second before he saw me. “Oh shit!”

I jumped back as a small pebble zoomed past my face. Holy crap. I put my hand over my racing heart and gingerly approached the window again. I leaned out.

Kyler waved his arm. “Sorry about that!”

“It’s okay.” This was really surreal. Maybe I was dreaming. “What are you doing, Kyler?”

“Talking to you.”

“I can see that. Why…why didn’t you call me?” Because that seemed like the easiest way to talk to me.

He shuffled from one foot to the other, huddled down in his jacket. “I needed to talk to you face-to-face.”

The porch light came on and I winced. A face-to-face conversation was so not possible with him standing outside and with obviously one, if not both, of my parents awake. “Kyler—”

“Hold on,” he called out. “I’m coming up.”

I’m coming up? Then I realized he wasn’t using the door. Oh, dear Lord, he was climbing the tree. He was going to kill himself! I leaned out the window, my breath puffing small white clouds in front of my face as he shimmied up the trunk. “Kyler, are you insane?”

“No. Yes.” He pulled himself up on the first thick limb. Straightening, he glanced down with a frown. “Well, this is harder than I remember.”

My mouth dropped open. “Maybe you should just go back down and use the front door, like, I don’t know? A normal person would?”

“I’m already halfway there.” He got his foot in a groove and propelled himself up to the limb closest to my window. Wrapping his hands around it, he looked at me. His cheeks were rosy from the cold and his eyes glittered in the moonlight. “If I fall and break my neck, will you say something nice at my funeral? Like ‘Kyler was usually more graceful?’”

“Oh, my God…”

Kyler chuckled as he pulled himself up, so he was crouched against the massive trunk, holding onto the tree above him. “Don’t worry. I got this.”

My gaze dropped to the snow-covered, hard ground below. I wasn’t so sure about this. “Why didn’t you just knock on the door?”

He cocked his head to the side, like he hadn’t thought of that. “I didn’t think you’d answer.”