Текст книги "Until You"

Автор книги: Jeannie Moon

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

Chapter 15

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Driving into the city was never easy during the week, but Kate wasn’t going to take a train to see her obstetrician. Trish settled into the passenger seat of the Volvo, drank her coffee, and stayed quiet most of the ride. Her sister was never a morning person, and of course Kate had made an 8:30 appointment.

Kate’s mind was a little quieter today. She’d stepped off the emotional roller coaster sometime yesterday and actually had time to adjust to the idea of having a baby. She sat in the guest bedroom that was on the second floor right next to her room. It was big, but not huge, had lots of great light and a window seat. The floors were already refinished, so all it needed was some paint and new furniture.

She still didn’t know what to tell David, if anything. He may have cared for her, but as Kate told her sister, he wasn’t ready for this kind of relationship. What was he going to do? Marry her? She was too old to trap a guy into marriage, and David would end up miserable.

Although, she did think he’d be a good dad. He loved kids, and he’d talked about the work he did with youth hockey programs and with Children’s Hospital in the city. She also knew all there was to know about his nieces and nephew, whom he was seeing at Christmas. He was like a kid himself, describing the toys he bought for them.

Without a doubt, he’d be a wonderful father, and at that moment Kate felt a little guilty for not telling him.

“Thinking about Hockey Boy?” Trish was finally waking up.

Kate grinned. “How did you know?”

Trish laughed. “I’ve been here for less than twenty-four hours and every time you get that dopey look on your face, he’s on your mind.”

“Great.” That was all Kate needed. She was hoping to be a little less transparent.

“Kate, are you sure you shouldn’t tell him?”

“I don’t think so. I don’t want to saddle him with this. If I was worth it, he’d have fought a little harder for me.”

“I don’t think that’s fair.”

“I can do this on my own, Trish. Like I said, I don’t want to trap him. And…” She hesitated, knowing this was the most important part. “I don’t want to settle for someone who doesn’t love me.”

Kate glanced over when she slowed the car to a stop at a light. Trish was taking in all she said. Right or wrong, this was the most independent she had been in her entire life.

“I Googled him,” her sister said. “I can see why you’d think that boy would be a heap of trouble.”

“Yeah… and?” Kate was wondering what her sister had found out. The good and the bad, no doubt.

“Is he as good looking as his pictures?”

Kate smiled. “Better.”

“Damn,” Trish said. Kate laughed and Trish continued. “So, was it all the women?”

That question cut to the heart of it all. “Pretty much. I guess my own insecurity played a part in why I didn’t want to pursue it.”

“He wanted to pursue it?”

Kate nodded. “But it wouldn’t last. How could it?”

“Oh, no, it couldn’t possibly last.” Trish’s voice was laden with sarcasm. “You need to have more faith.”

Kate was trying to process everything Trish said to her over the past day so, including her latest jab, so she could respond. Yes, she was insecure, and she’d been impulsive, but with the baby to consider, she had to pull back. Kate turned into the parking garage at the hospital and found a space.

Before they got out of the car, Kate turned and faced her sister. “Trish, I need you to understand where I’m coming from.”

Trish nodded, ready to listen. “Shoot.”

Kate was doing all she could to keep the tears from welling up. Whenever she talked about David she tended to cry, and she couldn’t spend the rest of her life bawling every time his name was mentioned. “David is probably as perfect a man as you’d ever find. He’s handsome, smart, gentle, a wonderful lover, and he’s successful.”

“I hear a big ‘but’ coming…”

Kate nodded. “Where women are concerned, he has the attention span of a Golden Retriever.”

Trish laughed even though the whole situation was so sad. “Oh, Katie. I’m sorry.”

“God help me, I’m in love with him. I can live with that. What I can’t live with is the possibility of being left again.”

“Why do you think he’d leave?”

Kate felt her lip tremble as the faced her fear straight on. “Why…” She took a breath, trying to stem the tears. “Why would he stay?”

It was Trish’s turn to be thoughtful. She tilted her head and took hold of Kate’s hand. “If I could castrate that stinking ex-husband of yours, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Not every man is Richard. From the sound of it, David may have real feelings for you.”

Kate dropped her head and couldn’t respond. It was too much to hope for.

“So the question, little sis, has nothing to do with Hockey Boy. It’s whether or not you want that rat bastard ex of yours to have that much power over you. Are you going to allow him to keep taking up space in your head?” Trish opened the car door, and before climbing out she simply said, “Think about it.”

Kate hesitated, then got out of the car herself. Trish might be right, but Kate already had too much to think about.

*

The Maternal-Fetal Health specialist worked out of a practice two blocks from the hospital and the waiting area was still quiet, which was why Kate picked an early appointment. She’d rather fight rush hour traffic than wait in a crowded doctor’s office.

It was a little nerve wracking, actually, sitting there, filling out forms. Some of the questions should have had very simple answers, but of course, Kate’s life made the answers more complicated. She answered the questions correctly, like a good girl, but God, did she want to tell the truth.

When was your last menstrual period? Who knows, I’ve been too worried about my nervous breakdown. Method of contraception? The kind that failed? STD screening? Had one when I learned my rat bastard ex-husband was cheating. She liked Trish’s description of Richard. She’d use it again. Social history: Are you: Married? Single? Divorced? Engaged? Divorced and alone. She had space to write the name of her significant other, but Kate left it blank. There was a space for the name of the baby’s father and Kate left that blank as well. She didn’t want questions or complications. Finally, she had to answer a question about whether there had been abuse in the household at any point. Kate got brave on this one. She answered Yes. Admitting she was an abused woman was a step, wasn’t it? Trish was looking over her shoulder and even she raised an eyebrow.

Kate brought the completed forms to the desk and sat down with her sister. She looked around. The waiting room was filling up, and she looked like all the other women there. For all her problems, no one could tell she was going to do this alone. Kate pulled her journal from her bag and jotted some thoughts. Her book was taking shape and she only had another hundred or so pages to write.

She glanced around the room and bit her lip. Sitting across from her was a woman reading Past Lives. Seeing people reading her books became a more common occurrence, and it made Kate feel good about her work and herself. She liked knowing she gave people a break from real life. That was what books were supposed to do, right? The woman had a beautiful blonde girl with her who might have been five years old. Kate remembered when Laura was that age, and it made her wonder how life would be with this baby.

“Mommy? Look.”

Kate instinctively looked up and saw the little girl was staring at her, then examining the back cover of the book and pointing. Kate shook her head, not wanting to be recognized. Even a little attention embarrassed her.

“What is it, honey?” The woman smiled kindly at her child.

And of course, the little munchkin gave her up. “It’s the lady on your book.”

Her mother looked at the back of the book, looked at Kate, and smiled. “Oh! Oh, it is.”

“Busted,” Trish said.

The woman was grinning, dumbstruck, and so Kate smiled back and gave a little wave.

The woman gushed. “I just love your books. They keep me up at night.”

“In a good way, I hope,” Kate said. “You’re enjoying the new one?”

She smiled and nodded. “It’s amazing. But when are Elliot and Josh finally going to get together?”

Kate shrugged. It was a question she heard all the time. Women wanted to know when Elliot and her on-again/off-again boyfriend, Navy Commander Josh Gavin were going to make it permanent. It made her smile. Her readers loved the action in her books, the intrigue, but some people loved the love story.

The woman started fishing through her tote and Kate knew what was coming. “Would you mind signing… damn, you’d think I’d have a pen in this thing… would you…?”

Kate stood, walked over, and sat down next to the woman. “I have a pen.”

Her fan passed her the book with an absolutely giddy expression on her face. Kate opened the front cover, careful to hold the woman’s place. “What’s your name?”

“Amanda,” she said. “Thank you. This is so exciting.”

Kate inscribed the book and handed it back to her very happy admirer. The reaction she received from people still surprised and embarrassed her. Maybe it was because Kate still heard Richard’s voice when she thought about her work. She patted the child’s hand. “Be extra nice to Mommy, okay?”

The little girl nodded. “Did you write all those words?” she asked.

“I did.”

“Jeez Louise! I don’t even know that many words.”

Kate laughed, as did the munchkin’s mom. “You will someday.” Kate smiled again at Amanda and went back to her sister.

“Show off,” Trish said.

“I do what I can. You still have me topped with that vaccine you worked on.”

“Eh, I guess. But no one has ever asked me to autograph a syringe.”

They both laughed.

*

In the examining room, Kate waited on the table, looking anxiously at the stirrups and all the instruments lying out on a silver tray. The room was comfortable and nicely appointed for what it was, but everything in there made her think about some dungeon where prisoners were tortured. And Kate was nervous.

An attractive woman with long, blonde hair and dark brown eyes entered the room. She wore a wide smile, a white coat, and extended her hand. “Katherine, I’m Michaela Emmanuel.”

Taking the doctor’s hand, she felt herself relax a little. “Call me Kate. This is my sister, Patricia Reed.”

“Brought moral support? Perfect! So…” She pulled up a rolling stool and sat. “Let’s chat. You’re forty?” She had Kate’s file in her hand and she started reading. “One child, uncomplicated pregnancy, but you had a section seventeen years ago. Placental abruption. Dr. Mariani delivered. Okay.” She looked back at Kate. “Your daughter is fine, though?”

“Oh, yes. She’s perfectly healthy, intelligent.”

“Good.” She stood and kept her eyes on the chart. “No father listed. Any reason for that?”

Kate drew a long breath. “We’re not together and we won’t be. I don’t feel the need to involve him.”

“Except that it’s his child, too.” Trish shot out the comment before Kate could stop her.

Dr. Emmanuel glanced over and grinned. “It’s your decision, naturally, but if there are medical issues, it would help if we had his family history. Just having his blood type could give us an advantage.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“You don’t remember when your last period was?”

“I’m very irregular. It could have been September.”

“Oy. Okay. Let’s get you settled in. I’m going to do an exam and a sonogram to see how old your baby is.”

During the sonogram, the doctor asked about medicines, alcohol, and stress. She also alluded to the abuse Kate acknowledged on her intake form. By the end of the exam, Kate had a prescription for prenatal vitamins and a picture of her child. She was eleven weeks pregnant. She made an appointment for a screening test the following week and she and Trish left the office.

“Eleven weeks,” Trish said. “Plenty of time to break it to Mom before you start to show.”

Kate felt sick. “Oh, good God.”

“Forgot about her, huh?”

“She’s going to go nuts. It’s not like I haven’t caused her enough grief.”

Trish laughed. Their mother was the least of Kate’s worries.

*

After the game, David walked into the hospitality room where he and Jay were meeting Annie. Even though David wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, he’d agreed to go to dinner with them. Annie suggested she could invite a friend to come along, but David wasn’t into to a fix up. And honestly, he didn’t know when he’d be ready to date again. His friends were being as supportive as guys could be, but that usually meant they would drive him home if he got drunk. He didn’t have anyone to confide in, and even if he did, he wouldn’t be baring his soul any time soon. As much as Jay was his best friend, he didn’t get it. If David was this miserable over Kate, he hoped Jay never had to find out what life would be like without his wife.

Playing in Washington was always a good time, especially when they won. The city had great restaurants, and for some reason this weekend a good number of the wives had decided to drive down and see the game. They were gathered in the room like a giggly pack, waiting for their husbands and boyfriends, gossiping, talking about the upcoming holidays and reveling in this very unusual life. He knew a good number of the women were different—mature and settled—especially the women the guys tended to marry, but some of them were just like Chelsea.

He heard a peal of laughter from one side of the room. Mark Blauvelt’s wife was at the center of a small group, telling a story. He liked Amanda. He didn’t know her well, but it seemed she was pretty level headed, and that was always a plus in his book. She and Mark were a nice couple, and when her husband came in the room Amanda’s face lit up. The night David was with Kate, he thought maybe she looked at him like that, like he was everything. He was such a fucking goner it was pathetic. It was just like David thought when he first met her—Kate owned him.

“So,” Amanda said, “I’m sitting in the O-B’s office and Carissa goes, ‘Mommy, there’s the lady on your book.’ Can you believe it? Katherine Adams was sitting right across from me. She was so gracious. She signed it without a problem.”

Annie was standing with the women, a fake smile plastered on her face. She looked at David, who felt his legs turn to stone. He was stuck where he stood, trying to make sense of what he was hearing.

“So I guess I’ll be seeing her because we use the same doctor. Maybe if we’re pregnancy buddies, she’ll tell me about her next book.”

Annie piped up, hoping to get more information. “Are you sure she’s pregnant, Mandy? Dr. Emmanuel sees women for a lot of reasons.”

“She’s pregnant. I overheard her make a screening appointment.” A flutter of conversation rose from the assembled group and Amanda continued. “She must be older than I thought—they gave her the information about amnio.”

David felt physically sick and leaned into the wall. That was why she’d called, to tell him. Why hadn’t she called him back? Annie walked over and placed a hand on his back.

“I’m guessing from the look on your face you didn’t know.”

“No. I got a call the other night…”

“From Kate?”

“Yeah. She didn’t leave a message.”

Annie rubbed his back like a child. Of everything that could have blindsided him, this was the last thing he expected. He looked down and shook his head. He was going to be a father. David may not have thought about getting married much, until recently, but being a dad was always high on his “important things to do” list. “She has to tell me, doesn’t she?”

Annie shrugged. “She should. That would be the right thing to do, but I don’t know, Dave. She may not be planning on it.”

Jay came into the room after working through the reporters. “So are we ready? I’m freaking starved.”

The last thing David wanted to do was go out, but he didn’t know what to say. Jay glanced from his friend to his wife and back, waiting for one of them to answer. David straightened up and made a decision to get the hell out of there.

“I’m gonna pass,” David said. “I’m not feeling very good.”

Jay’s face dropped and he looked at his wife. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” David slapped him on the shoulder. “I’m going back to the hotel. I’ll see you later on.”

Jay nodded and David knew Annie would tell him the news. He pulled out his phone and went to the missed call log. Her number was still there. All he had to do was hit send and get his answers. But he closed the menu and decided to wait until he could see her in person.

He stepped out into the cold night air and decided to walk to the hotel. It was only two blocks away and he needed the time to clear his head and think.

What a fucking mess.

Legally, he had parental rights, but he hoped that Kate would come to him on her own. He wanted things to be good between them, even if they weren’t together.

*

Kate sat on her bed, surrounded by pregnancy books and literature from the doctor. So much had changed from when she was pregnant with Laura. Worries about mercury in fish and nitrates in cold cuts and microwaves and environmental toxins… she wondered how any babies were born healthy at all. Kate’s biggest concern was the alcohol she’d consumed. There’d been the resort on St. Bart’s, the night she went to the theater, champagne at the benefit, a glass of wine here and there. The doctor assured her she probably had no reason to worry… she just shouldn’t drink anymore now that she knew she was pregnant.

Eleven weeks.

She got pregnant when they were together in California, that wonderful night when Kate felt like a desirable woman for the first time in her life. The night David saved her from momentous despair. Her birthday.

She patted her tummy. “A birthday baby.”

Trish bumped open the door with her hip and carried in a steaming mug of tea. “You conceived Junior on your birthday?”

Kate took the tea her sister offered and sipped the hot brew. “Yup.”

“I can only imagine what that must have been like for you.” Trish made a space on the bed and sat. “Living all those years with Richard and then falling into the arms of a guy like that? Wow.”

“I’m trying not to think about it.”

“You are a piss poor liar. All you do is think about him.”

Kate put her tea on the night stand and faced her sister. “Then I’ll get over it.”

“That’s a lie, too.” Trish’s voice had grown soft, and had a hint of pity behind the drawl.

Kate looked away and pushed her hair from her face. “I have to get over it.”

Trish scooted over and wrapped her sister in a hug. It was the kind of hug meant to comfort, but this one was also for support. Kate needed the support if she was going to do the right thing.

“No, Kate, what you have to do is tell your baby’s father what’s happened.”

Chapter 16

‡

Laura ran around her bedroom, looking for her black platforms while talking to Tracy on the phone.

“He’s so nice and polite… shit…” Laura dropped the phone. “Are you still there?”

“Yes,” Tracy said. “Has anything you know, like, happened?”

“We’ve been together for over a month.” They knew what the other one was talking about, but how sad that neither one could say it. There hadn’t been any sex yet, but the operative word was ‘yet’.

“So he’s kissed you?”

“Well, duh.” She tried to be cool about it, but kissing? Boy did he kiss her. His kisses were addicting. Laura didn’t know boys could kiss like that. Then it dawned on her that Jack didn’t kiss like a boy, Jack kissed like a man.

“Sor-ry. I’ve barely talked to you.”

Laura sat on her bed and blew out a breath. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I like him, Trace, and this has disaster written all over it. He’s going to want to sleep with me, and I don’t know…”

“You’re still a virgin, right?”

“Yeah, although I wish I weren’t. It would be easier then.”

“Laura, if he has sex with you, he could get arrested.”

“Don’t exaggerate, Tracy. I’m seventeen; he’s not going to get arrested.”

“So, you’re thinking about it?”

Of course she was. She thought about it all the time. Jack made her body heat up in places Laura didn’t know she had. “I have to finish getting ready. He’s picking me up in a few minutes.”

“Is he going to meet your father?”

“Marie’s covering for me. Tonight, one of her friends is having some kind of seminar on Cosmic Meditation, so they went to center their karmas or some shit like that.”

“Oookaaay. I’ll bet your father will love that.”

“Who cares? I have to go. Jack just pulled up.” Laura glanced out the window and saw the headlights of Jack’s Envoy go out. She hung up the phone, spritzed on some perfume and gave a last look in the mirror. Maybe it was time to grow up and have sex. She could do a lot worse than Jack as her first. The phone rang again and Laura picked it up as she left her room. “Tracy, I have to go, he’s here.”

“Laura, it’s Mom.”

“Mom! Hi, uhh, I thought you were Tracy.”

“Apparently. Who’s there?”

“Oh, a friend from school.” The doorbell rang. She opened the door and held up one finger to Jack, who nodded when he walked in and closed the door behind him.

“Is it anyone I know?”

“No, I don’t think so. Look Mom, can we chat some other time?”

“Is Dad there?”

Laura rifled through her purse and popped a mint in her mouth. “No, he’s out with Marie.”

“Laura? You know the rule about dates. One of us has to meet who you are going out with.”

Laura walked into the kitchen and let the swinging door close behind her. “That’s your rule,” she hissed. “When I’m here Dad and Marie treat me like an adult. And… and… they have met him.” Okay. That was a big lie.

“Laura, I’m just concerned.” Her mother’s voice was firm, but Laura could hear the worry.

“Don’t be. Since I won’t be living with you much longer, it’s not your problem. Goodbye.”

She hung up and tossed the phone on the kitchen counter. Then she looked at it and felt a pang of guilt. Her mom did care about what was going on in her life, and she didn’t sound meddling or difficult. Laura wished she could talk to her about this—but if she did, no more Jack.

Laura left the kitchen and found Jack looking at the pictures on the table in the foyer. He smiled when she approached. He was so sweet. Laura figured she could stall sex for a little while, but looking at him, why would she want to?

“Are you ready?” he asked before kissing her hello.

“Yes, sorry. That was my mother.”

“I’ve met your future stepmom, but never your actual parents.” He helped her on with her coat and Laura looked up into his big blue eyes.

“I guess you’ll meet her eventually. My dad works all the time and my mother and I aren’t close. That’s why I live with my dad.”

“That’s too bad.” Jack paused as Laura locked the front door and took her hand when she put the keys in her purse. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why aren’t you and your mother close?”

Pausing, Laura couldn’t name one thing. Why did she hate her? She opened her mouth to say something, but it wouldn’t be the truth, so she stopped before taking the easy way out. “I’d rather not talk about it, if that’s okay. It’s pretty complicated.” He nodded and touched her cheek. Laura saw genuine concern in his eyes and she thought about how nice it would be to be able to talk to him about everything. “Where are we going?”

“The movies? Is there something you want to see?”

Laura smiled, and held his hand tighter. The movie was irrelevant. She wouldn’t be watching anyway.

*

Kate hung up when she heard the dial tone. “Shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Julie entered the kitchen. She’d been with Kate since Trish left for the airport.

“Laura’s going out. I think she had a date.”

“A date? On a Sunday? Where the hell are Richard and Morticia?”

“Who knows, obviously not giving a shit.”

“Calm down. I know you and Laura have problems, but she is a good kid.”

“I know.” Kate had to agree Laura tended to do the right thing. She had her father’s attitude, but she seemed to have Kate’s conscience.

“Why do you think she had a date?” Julie was licking chocolate chip ice cream off a big serving spoon.

“The way she answered the phone. Then she told me to mind my own business.” She paced. “I can’t believe they’re just letting her do whatever the hell she wants.”

“Is there anyone you could call?”

“No, I don’t… well, maybe her friend Tracy.” Kate picked up the phone, held the receiver to her chest and hung it up. “Call about what? I don’t even know what to say.”

Julie put a glass in the sink, came up next to her, and rubbed Kate’s shoulder. “My sister said to me once that being a parent is like hell and heaven at the same time.”

“She’s right.” Kate turned around and folded her arms. “I really, really hate this.”

Julie ventured where Kate didn’t want to go, into reality. “You’re going to have to get used to it, though. If you don’t step up the fight, you won’t have any say in her life.”

Kate had been trying to block out the custody petition, and the anxiety over her new pregnancy was allowing her to do that. Of course, the new baby wouldn’t be a secret forever, and since no daddy was in the picture, she was fairly certain Richard would paint her as an unstable and unsuitable influence on Laura.

He would conveniently forget he cheated with Marie and had his own closet full of skeletons. But she wasn’t in any position to say anything.

“You know what? Considering how things are going with me, maybe I’m not the best person for her to live with.”

“What? Kate, don’t say that in public.”

“Julie, I’m not in a relationship and I’m pregnant. The baby’s father is a playboy, for lack of a better word, ten years younger than me, and not in my life. That doesn’t exactly make me a good role model.”

“Well, if that’s the problem, you need to make him part of your life.” Julie took her coat off the hook by the back door and put it on before she wrote something on the blackboard by Kate’s phone.

“What’s that?” Kate examined the information.

“The Flyers have an open practice tomorrow morning at their facility in New Jersey. If you don’t want to be the woman you described to me, go and talk to your child’s father.”

“I can’t.”

“No, you won’t. You’ve known about the baby for almost a week. I’m with your sister on this one. You don’t want to tell him on the phone, fine. But tell him.” She picked up her keys and gave Kate a hug.

“I thought you guys would take it easy on the pregnant lady.”

Julie grinned. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. People always handle me like I’m going to break.”

“Everything else that’s happened has been out of your control. This isn’t.”

*

The training complex in Voorhees, New Jersey, was almost a full hour away from Kate’s house, which gave her lots of time to think about what she was going to say to David.

She’d called in the morning to confirm the practice time and, as planned, she was getting there about twenty minutes before it ended. Hopefully she would be able to see him, otherwise, she’d have to screw up her nerve for a second time and try again.

As she walked into the main door of the facility, a flood of memories hit her. It was a new building, but in some ways it was the same as the ice rinks she knew on Long Island and Boston. The smell and feel of the air, which was always a little cooler and drier than normal, had her feeling like she did when she had been five and entered a rink for her first skating lesson. She heard the sounds of skates and sticks hitting pucks and followed it to the rink. There were three coaches on the ice in warm-ups, and the players circled around, passing and shooting one of the hundred pucks on the ice.

At first, it didn’t seem like there was any organization to what the players were doing, but in a few minutes she saw a pattern emerge with the way the players were working together, passing and shooting.

David skated forward with two other men—his linemates, she guessed—and they brought the puck toward the two defensemen and the goalie. After some quick work with the puck, and before she could see anything, David let go a shot and he watched as the puck flew past the goalie’s left shoulder. He pumped his fist in celebration and rejoined his teammates back at center ice. Even though he’d complained about the workouts and the intensity of the practices, just like she used to, it was obvious he loved what he was doing. The love of the game came from inside.

There were only about twenty people watching practice and Kate settled herself on the back of the bleachers. She was there for about ten minutes when practice started to break up. Some of the players headed off the ice, but David continued to horse around with his friend. They were passing the puck and playing a little two-on-two with a couple of the rookies. Kate had picked up a considerable amount of information about the team in the two months she’d been following. David and his friend Jay had played together for a long time, and the younger players didn’t have a chance. David and Jay toyed with them, and she could see him having a ball with kids—especially his own.

He stopped for a moment, breathing heavily, and leaned on his stick. When he glanced up, he froze when he spotted her in the stands. His smile went wide at first, but then he sobered when he realized she was there for a reason and held her gaze. He said something to his friend, who looked in her direction, and as David came toward the stands, she made her way down.

When they met, by the entrance to the ice, she still hadn’t come to any decision about what to say to him. Should she blurt it out or break it to him gently? The drawn brows and weak smile said he wasn’t sure of what to do either.

He took off his helmet and rubbed his gloved hand on his forehead. Beads of sweat dripped off his face, and never had a big, sweaty, smelly man been so appealing. Kate’s entire body reacted. Of course, along with being completely crazy about him, she was terrified, and had no idea what she was going to say. Telling him she loved him was out of the question.

“Hey, this is a surprise,” he said. “Bring your skates?”

“Not today.” This wasn’t going to go well. “I guess I should have called.”

“No, it’s fine. Are you okay?”

Kate felt herself nod. “I’m fine. I… umm… I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay.” He kept trying to get a look at her eyes. “Kate, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Mmm hmm. Yes. Should I wait for you?”