Текст книги "Until You"

Автор книги: Jeannie Moon

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

Chapter 13

‡

December

Kate slapped at the screeching alarm clock and stretched her arms over her head as she sat up. Mornings were hard, especially after a night that brought on the story fast and furious. It happened in waves. For days she wouldn’t write anything, and then inspiration would hit and words flowed like water. Last night had been one of those nights.

She threw the covers back, anxious to get back to her manuscript, but instead plopped her feet on the floor to get ready for work. It was seven and her first class was at ten. It was the first time in months that she really looked forward to her writing. The first time in months the day held promise, and Kate didn’t think about how long it would be before she could crawl back into bed. Instead, she thought about running errands and teaching her classes and writing. Maybe seeing David at the benefit wasn’t a bad thing. It allowed her to close the door on him and move on.

Even though it hurt like hell.

Kate’s mood dropped by degrees as she thought about her real life. It got more complicated when she looked up and Laura stared at her from the door of her room. Tan from her time in the Caribbean, Laura’s dark hair had picked up some subtle highlights and was pulled into a tight ponytail. Her jeans rode too low and her sweater rode too high. But it was her eyes, sharp, dark, and blazing, that were telling Kate this was not going to be an easy morning.

“You were up late,” she said.

“I was working. I have some revisions to make on the new book.”

Laura sauntered in. She was still angry about the vacation Kate took and had been shooting daggers at her mother for a week. “Still can’t get it right?”

Kate was in no mood for this. Her stomach was a little jumpy, probably from lack of sleep, and she changed the subject to avoid a confrontation at the crack of dawn. “Aren’t you going to miss your bus?”

Several inches taller, Laura stared down at her mother. “I’m going to Dad’s after school and I won’t be home till about nine. Marie is helping me with a writing assignment.”

Kate had to admit Laura was getting good at cheap shots, but something about the argument felt contrived, like Laura had planned to pick a fight. She wondered if it helped Laura feel better, if it justified the bad feelings between them. Might as well give her what she wanted. Kate took the bait. “What’s the assignment?”

“It’s a creative piece.” Laura stuck her nose in the air and tried to be indifferent. “Nothing you would understand.”

“Well, that insult was quite predictable.” Kate walked to her closet and picked up her robe. “Don’t let Marie force you into using that bombastic prose she’s so fond of. It’ll weigh down your story.”

“Marie is a brilliant writer,” Laura declared.

“Really?” Kate tilted her head and decided to stoop to her daughter’s level, just for fun. “Let me know when she’s joining me on the bestseller list and I’ll be the first to bow down to her talent.” Her daughter’s face twisted in anger.

“What do you know?” Laura snapped. “With the violence and the sex, your books are just… just… trash.”

“Trash?” Kate’s breath caught before she broke into a stunned smile. “Your father should be thanking his lucky stars for my trash.” Richard was unbelievable, he’d brainwashed her. Her trash was paying for his life. He should shut the hell up. “My writing is light fare compared to what other people are doing and it’s never going to win me a Pulitzer, but I’m very proud of my work.”

“Someday Marie will win a Pulitzer,” Laura said.

Kate sat at her dressing table and watched her daughter in the mirror. The girl was standing her ground. Her back was straight, her arms were folded. It hurt Kate that she was so protective of Marie, a woman who had been part of the destruction of their family. Kate met Laura’s gaze and sent out her last shot.

“Someone would actually have to like one of her books for that to happen.”

“People love her books.”

“What?!” Now Kate was fighting back the laughter. “The reviews of her last book were scathing. One said it was a crime that trees were sacrificed for her ‘incoherent nonsense’.”

Laura’s lips were pursed, her neck was tight, and the sheer frustration in her face told Kate that Laura was done being subtle.

“I’m going to live with Daddy. That’s why you’re seeing the lawyers today.”

Well, there it was. It hurt Kate to think about losing her rights to see her daughter, but seeing Laura’s face, she wondered if it hurt her, too. Something was not right about all of this, about the anger and the accusations. Laura seemed tired of the fight.

Kate turned and faced her beautiful daughter. How had things gotten this bad? “I know, but I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose you.”

“Why should you care? You never wanted me.” She spouted more of Richard’s lies, but Laura’s tears were real. She believed what she said; believed all the things her father told her.

“Laura, that is not true. I wanted you. I wanted you so much.”

“Daddy said…”

Kate held up her hand. “I don’t care what he said. He doesn’t know my heart.” Kate approached and laid a hand on Laura’s face. “You are my child and I will always love you. On this point, your father has not told you the truth. Deep down, you know that.”

Laura stared at Kate and swallowed hard. “I have to go to school.”

“Have a good day. Let me know if you need to be picked up.”

She shrugged. “I think Dad said he would bring me home.”

“Fine.”

The tightness in Laura’s voice told Kate her girl was holding back. Kate had the feeling a reservoir of emotion was waiting to break through the cool exterior she’d fashioned, and a glimmer of warmth formed in the pit of Kate’s stomach. Maybe her baby did feel something, maybe she wasn’t as cold as her father tried to make her, but Kate wouldn’t find out that morning as Laura turned on her heel and bolted down the stairs.

A few minutes later, the back door closed and Kate dropped to the bed, blowing out a breath. There was a point when she was sure she didn’t have a chance in hell of having a relationship with Laura, but now… something about the way Laura looked at her, a split second softening, that told Kate it wasn’t all bad between them, that maybe Laura missed having a mother. It was a mere kernel of hope, but Kate would take what she could get.

Chapter 14

‡

It was just a matter of time.

Kate had every intention of taking this to court, but she also knew her daughter had the final say. She was on the brink of adulthood and could articulate her wants clearly in any court. Sure, she wondered if Laura really wanted to leave her, but the truth was, Richard was a master intimidator and her daughter was ‘daddy’s girl’.

Kate had always held out hope Richard was bluffing and he wouldn’t really want to take Laura completely, knowing how devastating that would be. But once again, she’d underestimated him. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything but hurting her. This was a power play, a way for him to get what he wanted. And it was working. Feeling a heaviness in her chest, Kate closed her eyes and tried to think of a way to fight back.

She was on her bed staring at the wall when the phone rang. A glance at the caller ID told her it was her doctor’s office. Part of her just wanted to let it ring, but she knew they were calling with test results and she needed to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Kate. It’s Doctor Finn.”

Kate pushed herself into a sitting position. She expected to hear from the office, but not the doctor. If she was making the call herself, there must be something wrong. Great. Let’s add a terminal illness to what could go wrong with her life.

“Oh, God. What’s wrong with me?”

“Calm down. Nothing’s wrong. You’re healthy.”

“Then why are you calling?”

“Well, your test results did indicate something new.”

Kate’s stomach sank and she grabbed the glass of wine she’d placed on her night table. “New? New how? Oh, my God. I have a brain tumor, don’t I?”

“Well, since we didn’t examine your brain, I wouldn’t know about that, but the truth is, you’re pregnant.”

Kate froze, the wine glass touching her lips. She stared at the golden liquid and put it back on her night table. Pregnant? The shock was working its way through her system and finally, her brain processed the information. “Pregnant?”

“Yup. Hard to say how far along you are. Do you remember when you had your last period?”

“I’m pregnant?! How?”

The doctor chuckled a little on the other end of the line. “The usual way, I’m guessing. You’re seeing someone?”

“Yes. Well, not anymore.”

“Did you have unprotected sex?”

“No! He used a condom!” Now she was trying to remember when she had her last period. Was it in September? Did she really not notice?

“No birth control is foolproof, Kate.”

“That’s why I’ve been tired and a little queasy from time to time.”

“More than likely,” her doctor said.

“I don’t think I’ve had a period since September.”

Her doctor went silent for a moment. Silence like that was never good. “So you’re almost out of your first trimester then. Look, you need to see an obstetrician as soon as possible.”

“The doctor that delivered Laura only does gynecology now.”

“Okay. Your age makes you high risk, so let me give you the name of someone very good at University Hospital.”

Kate grabbed her journal and a pen from her night table and started to write all the information. With her free hand she touched her belly, and couldn’t believe how things could go from bad to nightmarish with a phone call.

*

Later that night, Kate sat in her den, still in shock, watching the hockey game. It seemed only right she share this moment with her baby’s father. Even if he had no clue what was going on. David was having a good game, brutalizing the New York’s top scorer, as well as having a goal and an assist. Of course he didn’t know their carelessness had produced a child.

When the panic set in, David was the first one she wanted to tell, and she’d made the mistake of dialing his cell phone. She hung up and didn’t leave a message. Hopefully, he wouldn’t see her number in the missed call log. It was too soon. She needed some time before putting herself in the position to be rejected by him.

Over the last three hours she’d made a list and gone to the grocery store because Kate realized she had to adjust her diet. She stocked up on produce, milk, cereals, yogurt—lots of real food. While she was out, Laura called and told her she was staying at her father’s house.

That left Kate alone in the house… just her and the baby in her belly. David’s baby. What the hell was she going to do?

Kate picked up the phone and dialed the familiar series of digits. Her lifeline. Her sister.

“Hello!” The bright sunny voice that came from the other end of the line brought the tears.

“Trish?” Her voice cracked—the fear, the confusion, all flooding to the surface.

“Katie? What’s wrong, honey?”

The tears choked her. “I-I need you to come here.”

“Oh shit, Kate, what did Richard do now?”

“It’s not Richard.” Kate tried to compose herself, but watching David on TV and talking to her sister broke any control she had on her emotions. “I’m pregnant,” she cried.

“What? Holy shit.” Trish had no idea how to respond because Kate hadn’t ever told her about David. “Kate… who…?”

“Can you come, Trish?”

“Absolutely. I can be there tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

“Kate, are you all right?”

“Umm, other than being pregnant by a man who doesn’t love me, yeah, I’m just peachy.”

Trish drew in a deep breath. “Hang in there, honey. I’ll be there in the morning.”

“Thanks. I really just…” She started to cry again. “I need you.”

“I know.”

After she hung up with Trish, she focused on the TV and watched David in the postgame interview. It brought the tears harder than ever. She wanted to tell him about the baby so badly, but she couldn’t bear the fact he didn’t love her. Since the night they spent together three weeks ago, Kate was certain she loved David. The night had been her romantic fantasy come to life. He was gentle and kind and they emptied their hearts to each other. At least she had. She talked to him about things she hadn’t even told her sister.

Then reality intruded in the form of Chelsea Connor. She didn’t think David cared for her old student; Kate knew she had his heart, but for how long? The photo shook her out of her stupor and forced her to face the fact that while David could have been hers for the moment, it wouldn’t last. How long would it be before David got tired of her and moved on to someone else? He was completely wrong for her, but she loved him anyway. She was adjusting to the fact she’d have to move on, and now this. His baby. Something that would always remind her of the man she couldn’t have.

*

David held the phone and had his thumb on the button that would dial Kate’s number. When he saw the missed call, hope shot right through him. Maybe, just maybe, she’d changed her mind about him. About them. Glancing at the time on the phone, he saw it was after eleven, and knowing she had to go to work in the morning stopped him from making the call. He’d have to wait until tomorrow to hear what she had to say.

*

Kate called in sick.

It wasn’t a lie, really. She was an emotional wreck—exhausted, nauseous and in no shape to teach. Thank God her sister would be there soon.

Kate had been up half the night thinking about what she was going to do, and when she did sleep, she was restless, dreaming about her baby and David. Their baby.

She’d called the doctor and gotten an appointment for the following day. The fact she was so far along was probably what caused the concerned tone in the receptionist’s voice. This was going to be very different from the last time.

Her pregnancy with Laura had been uneventful in the sense that Kate delivered a healthy girl. She had been twenty-three and the doctor had little doubt that all would be fine. Richard, however, became the Svengali of expectant fathers.

Being older and wiser in Kate’s eyes, she did everything he said. He researched pregnancy and nutrition extensively. She ate a special diet that was meant to limit her weight gain and maximize the baby’s health. He made her walk three miles a day regardless of the weather.

When she went into labor, he was a beast. She was miserable and having back labor. The baby wasn’t breech, but was facing the wrong way, so Kate didn’t dilate. The doctor offered an epidural to ease her pain, and Richard refused it, bullying Kate into going natural. It proved a problem when they decided to do a C-section and Richard fought that as well.

Kate had few memories of anything from that day, but she vividly remembered Richard telling her she was a failure as a woman, if she couldn’t do something as natural as give birth. Her doctor finally threatened to remove him from the maternity ward if he didn’t back off.

It turned out Kate and the baby would have died if they hadn’t performed the Cesarean.

Richard would have been crushed if he’d lost the baby, but Kate doubted he would have cared at all if he lost her. A month after Laura had been born, he hit her for the first time. She kept hoping he would settle down and become the loving husband she needed, but he didn’t, and no matter what she did, Kate ended up alone anyway.

Now she stood in the kitchen and looked out at her big backyard. She shook her head, wondering how this happened. She knew the biology, but how was it that shit just kept raining down on her? The abuse, the cheating and divorce, the custody problems, falling in love with a guy who was too young for her, and now getting pregnant—would it end?

Her biggest concern was the baby’s health. If she got pregnant in California, she was an easy two months gone, and she’d been living it up. She’d had alcohol on multiple occasions, had been in a hot tub, exercised vigorously, and actually lost weight. She placed both hands on her abdomen.

“Sorry, honey. Mommy will feed you better from now on.” She heard a car pull in the driveway and looked at the clock.

Eleven o’clock. Trish was right on time. Kate went to the side door and opened it just in time to launch herself into her big sister’s arms.

Patricia Adams-Reed had a life most women would envy. The wife of a congressman from a district just north of Atlanta, she had a fulfilling career as a research scientist with the Centers for Disease Control, two great kids, and a husband who adored her. She was stunning to look at, defying her forty-eight years with incomparable grace. She was taller than Kate, but with the same large hazel eyes and dark hair. It was her irreverent sense of humor and “screw the world” attitude that made Trish exactly what Kate needed.

Kate fell apart as soon as they got into the kitchen.

“Shhh, now, shhh.” Trish’s voice was laced with just the slightest drawl, the result of over twenty years in the south. “Honey, tell me what happened.” Kate stepped back, wiped her eyes on her sleeve and her sister placed a hand on her belly. “I’m going to be an auntie again?”

Kate nodded. “I-I can’t believe this is happening.” Her voice was hoarse, raw from the endless crying.

Trish took her arm and guided her to the couch in the den. The room was a mess, with tissues littering the floor and coffee table. “You need to tell me the whole story. First—who’s the daddy?”

Kate pointed to the table. There sat her laptop, and on the screen was the team website, featuring a photo of last night’s star of the game—David.

“What? Does he work for that hockey team?”

“Sort of.” Kate took the clicked the link enlarging the photo and pointed again. “David Burke. The hockey player. He’s the father.”

Trish blinked. Looked carefully at the picture and then back at her sister. “You shagged a pro athlete?”

Kate nodded.

“Goddamn.” Trish leaned back and extended her long, slender arm across the back of the leather sofa. “We have some catching up to do.”

Kate wiped her eyes with her sleeve, nodded, and launched into the story.

*

Trish hung on her every word, wiped every tear, and finally Kate got to the point she was at right now. Alone and pregnant. Kate was sniffling like a five-year-old with a runny nose. Trish walked into the kitchen and grabbed the box of tissues that was sitting on the counter. She wasn’t falling all over herself, so Kate imagined her big sis was a little peeved.

“I have to give you credit… you do nothing small. It’s like the old days.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Like Kate didn’t feel shitty enough already? Trish was going to lecture her now? She remembered what it was like. Perfect Trish never made a wrong move and Kate, well, that was something else.

“Never mind.” Trish sat on the coffee table and took her sisters hands in hers. “Have you made an appointment with the doctor?”

“I’m going tomorrow.”

“Good. I’ll go with you.”

“Okay.” Kate swallowed hard, relieved.

“You need anything from the store? Baby’s gotta eat.”

“I went grocery shopping. There’s lots of healthy food in the house and I got rid of all the alcohol.”

Trish shook her head, disapprovingly. “Oh, darlin’, that’s just a crying shame. After that story, I need a drink.”

Kate chuckled, but just as quickly turned serious. “I think I love him, Trish, but it’s not going anywhere.”

Her sister wrapped her in a big hug and when the phone rang, Kate picked up the cordless and froze. It was David.

“Please answer this.” Kate thrust the phone at her sister.

“Why? Who is…”

“It’s David.”

“Why is he calling you?”

“Trish, please?!” Kate was frantic.

Trish didn’t answer, the answering machine did, but her sister turned up the volume to hear David’s message. “Hi Kate, it’s David. I saw you called last night. I hope everything’s okay. I’m going on a short road trip tomorrow, but if you need to talk to me, well, ah, call back. Thanks.”

Trish listened to the click disconnecting the call and glared at Kate. “You called him?”

She nodded. “He didn’t answer, so I hung up.”

“He sounds worried, Kate. You should call him back.”

She didn’t say anything. Instead, Kate stood and walked to the kitchen to get some water.

Trish followed and leveled her gaze at Kate. Damn her sisterly instincts—she knew what Kate was thinking. “You are going to tell him, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Kate! You have to tell him.”

“Why?” She was serious. Why did he have to know?

“Because he’s the father?” Trish approached her. “Why wouldn’t you?”

The knot in Kate’s heart twisted again and she ran her hand over the plane of her stomach. “He’ll try to do the ‘right’ thing.”

“Is that a problem? There’s nothing wrong with doing the right thing.” Kate could see her sister didn’t understand.

“I don’t want to trap him,” Kate said. “It would be a disaster.”

Trish wrapped and arm around her shoulder and Kate felt more raw sadness than she could ever remember. The only thing that would be worse than being rejected by David was if he was with her out of pity. She knew that kind of relationship wouldn’t last. As much as she wanted to be with David, as much as she missed him, she couldn’t risk her heart again.