Текст книги "Katherine in Gold"

Автор книги: J. B. Hartnett

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Holst

Halloween had always been a favorite holiday of mine as a child. I enjoyed the fact I could be a superhero, never a villain. With a cape and a mask to hide my true identity, I was able to pretend I had the power to fix everything that was wrong with my mother’s life. When you’re a child to a single parent, your happiness is entirely wrapped up in theirs, even if they make you the center of their universe and try as they might to shelter you from reality, which my mother had. If she was unhappy, I always knew.

And she often hid that unhappiness.

I did my best to make things as easy as possible. I was a good kid and stayed that way until I left home at eighteen and moved in with friends. Those years, from eighteen to the time I bought the house with Chelle, I always took care of the women I was with. I took care of their feelings, let them down easy when it ended…because it would inevitably end. Even with Chelle, I loved her, but I made the commitment with the intention to “settle down” and think about having a family. I became serious with her because I thought it was time.

But Chelle was the worst possible choice. As a person, she was fun, she had a great smile and laugh. However, those qualities masked the fact she was not a good match for me. When I asked Katherine if she was an alcoholic, I needed to confirm her drinking, as I had suspected, was to hide her pain. I needed to know she wouldn’t turn to alcohol any time something came along she couldn’t handle. Because I had given into temptation in a moment of weakness. I may not have been that man anymore, but the fear of becoming him again was always there. Katherine simply taught herself to cope by any means possible. It was just lucky that she’d come to realize this on her own, before I entered her life, her bed, and her heart.

One of the reasons I hired an employee so soon after opening Bear Claw was the simple fact I wanted a future with Katherine. Working together six days a week, sleeping together each night…with the exception of going to my place to get clothes or do laundry, working out or surfing, we were together.

I wouldn’t say I was terrified she would burn out on this sudden relationship; concerned was probably a more apt term. And in feeling the anxiety of this realization, as we handed out free hot cider, I turned to her and said, “You’re done for the night, Katherine.”

“I’m…I’m what?” she asked, confused.

“I’ve got this under control. I’ll see you later.” I poured two cups for two men waiting on the sidewalk as their trick-or-treaters traipsed up to Paper Petal and Beachy Bride for candy.

“I don’t…” She stopped when she realized the two men were hanging on her every word.

Quietly, I asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t need you to manage me. It doesn’t make me feel equal. It makes me feel like an employee…amongst other things.”

“Katherine, we both work long hours. I’m simply suggesting that I’ve got this. We don’t need two people, and it would be fine with me if you want to do something for yourself. Maybe join your friends upstairs,” I said.

“First of all, I haven’t broken the seal with Dee yet, and second, you didn’t suggest, you told me. You bossed me. It’s all in language, babe.”

Babe. Her thinly veiled annoyance reared its head.

“Yes, you’re correct. I will be more careful about that in the future. But if it’s all the same to you…”

She didn’t let me finish. The strong, independent Katherine misunderstood me when I suggested she pace herself.

“I guess I’m breaking the seal now. Bye,” she said and began to storm off.

Only seconds later, Frodo joined me. “I believe I saw stomping,” he mused. He now had a full beard. I heard Zack one day refer to it as his “winter beard.” But he was changing, and not just his appearance.

“I’m forcing her to spend time away from me.” I smiled, and I did it with unadulterated, male pride.

“The pull of a great man to a beautiful woman is powerful, my friend.”

“Yeah.” I laughed. “Let’s hope it stays that way.”

“These are unchartered waters for our Katherine.”

“I’m aware,” I confirmed, and looked across the street at the small hotel and the ocean beyond. “I dissolved the relationships in my life when I took this on,” I told him. Frodo had this…thing about him that encouraged confession. I wasn’t Catholic, but I felt Frodo would’ve made a good priest.

“Why?” he asked.

“My roommates’ main goal in life was to work as little as possible so they could surf and get high. Those friendships were based on a shared interest, paddling out, having someone else as a witness to what you could achieve on the board. When I moved in with my ex, it was all about her, all about work and those people. My life was never about me and my needs, even when I was in the water.”

“And now?” he asked.

“Now, I have friendships based on mutual respect. They’re not dependent on those outward interests, and my emotional needs are met and sustained by the woman who just stomped off in a huff.”

“Yes,” he agreed and stared in a daze upstairs.

“I’m sorry about Dee.”

“As am I,” he said. “I took this job as a fresh start, as well. I had this great, ideal vision of the future here….Zack and Teensy, their child who I’m told is a girl. Nico and Lark, their twin boys and another girl on the way. Then came Victoria and Cameron, a little family of their own in the works. Ruby, I’m not sure who her beau will be, but he will be strong, virile, someone she feels safe with, then you and Katherine. I fear the road ahead will be rocky for the two of you, but a straight road to anywhere isn’t very interesting. You’ll make it because her love for you is so powerful, she doesn’t know what to do with it. It’s your job to guide it, not control it. Deirdre…Dee, no longer my dove, and thus, I wonder what my place will be amongst my new friends.”

There wasn’t much more I could say in response. He pretty much nailed it, and I knew he understood the odd position I found myself in when I took on a new relationship and a new business.

A woman nodded at him as she walked past and into Coastal Ink. “My next appointment. I must away. Guidance, not control,” he said and went to work.

Then one of the dads I’d completely forgotten was standing there said, “I feel like I just watched a movie with my wife.”

“Everyone’s life is a movie.” I chuckled, and luckily, their children arrived with bags significantly fuller than when they went up the stairs.

When it was clear the remaining Halloween revelers were more interested in booze than cider, I closed the shop. Sitting in one of the giant, leather chairs and looking around the place—decorated, homey, warm, familiar—I called Katherine.

“Hello?” she greeted, but continued, “I can’t come to the phone right now, but you can talk to my evil twin who might call you a dickhead overlord.”

I smiled into the phone. “Don’t be angry.”

“I’m not angry. I’m pissed. There’s a difference.”

“You do understand, I was trying to give you some space.”

“Loud and clear…dickhead.”

“I don’t require space, Katherine.”

“And that means what to me?” She wasn’t trying to hide the bitchiness in her tone, but my words had disarmed her commitment to that attitude.

“It means that I had a conversation with a friend who helped…guide me, and if you feel that the time is now, I will eventually find someone to take over my lease, and your garage will be filled with surfboards and skis, your closet will be filled with my clothing, and my name will be added to the utilities.”

Then, without warning, she hung up.

And promptly called back.

“Hello, Katherine.” I chuckled.

“Stop fucking doing that!” she demanded.

“Doing what?”

“Making me happy. Just…try to piss me off a little. Like, leave the toilet seat up or something.”

“I’m going to take this opportunity to remind you I pissed you off an hour ago, and less than a minute ago, you were still holding tight to that anger.”

“Whatever,” she huffed, but I could hear she was fighting a giggle.

“Where are you?” I asked, rising from the chair and turning off the lights as I went.

“I’m home. I chickened out on the face-to-face with Dee. I was already pissy and didn’t want to take it out on her.”

I walked out the front door and locked it. “We have things to discuss, baby.”

“I figured. You’re all about the fine print on my feelings, aren’t you?” she laughed.

I began the walk up to her place…our place…and asked, “You like the way I fuck you?”

“Hang on,” she said, the phone muffled for a moment. “I had to turn down the TV and put down my drink.”

“Why?” I asked with a grin.

“My legs are parted, heels on the coffee table, and now I’m playing with my nipple. So, ask me again how I feel about the way you fuck me.”

“You like the way I fuck you?” I repeated.

“I really, really do.” She laughed.

“And you’re not going to argue with me about utilities?”

“No. Sneaky how you’re using the sex thing to get your way though.”

I turned the corner to the beginning of her street, right behind the high school. “I’m also thinking you need an herb garden. You’re a great cook. I could plant you a little garden off the deck so you would have fresh basil, tomatoes in the summer…”

“Back to the fucking-me talk.”

I smiled, and not for the first time, I took great pleasure in knowing I was going home to her. “I’m not far away. Pinch your nipple, baby.”

“Yes…”

“Hard, don’t let it go.”

“I won’t…”

“Harder. I’m walking with an erection, one block away. You know what I want to do with my cock?”

“Tell me…”

I lowered my voice and slowed my approach, mostly because I was wearing jeans. My cock was straining against them, and the thought of Katherine, her legs open on the couch, wasn’t helping. “I’m thinking about your…”

“Say it…,” she begged.

“I’m thinking about your pussy. The way it tastes, the way it feels when I slide one finger inside of you and whisper against your lips…and now, I want you to let go of your nipple and move your hand into your panties. Then I want you to pinch your lips together, over your clit. Have you done that?”

“Yes,” she rasped.

“Good girl. Now, rub them together, back and forth until you can feel your clit beg to be released.”

“I fucking love you,” she breathed.

I climbed the stairs to the apartment and asked, “Can you hear that?”

“You’re home.”

“I’m home, baby. And when I get inside, I’m coming inside.”

“Hurry,” she urged.

I opened the door to find her exactly as I imagined she’d be. I locked it behind me and shimmied off her jeans, which were already mid-thigh, along with her panties. “You kept your clit locked up for me.”

“I listen when you talk, Holst.”

“Say it again,” I demanded and took off my jeans and boxers, my cock springing upward, pre-cum across the head.

“Holst…damn, that’s a beautiful cock.”

I leaned forward, my hands braced on the couch as her lovely face rose to meet me. “You’re beautiful,” I told her as I bent down to kiss her mouth, not a coaxing kiss, an aggressive kiss, claiming her, and in turn, she showed her gratitude in every magnificent sweep of her tongue.

“Holst,” she whispered, pulling her lips from mine.

I breathed my response against her mouth. “Yes, my Katherine.”

“You’re in love with me?” she asked, her eyes pleading that I answer her question exactly how she wanted to hear it.

I moved my hand between her legs, over her own and held it there as I explained. “We’re good together. I knew at Tori and Cam’s engagement. The way you reacted to me, the way you fought it…You knew we’d be good together, too.”

She then told me something I’d known, though I never expected her to confess. “You remind me of him.”

“I figured, baby.”

“No competition. None at all, but I needed to know. I needed more. Tori went through the same thing with Cam; she needed more. And you know what made tonight worse? I wanted to go to her and Dee and Ruby and talk to them…but I couldn’t. ”

My voice was gentle, content in the knowledge I was exactly where I should be, and told her, “I’m here.”

“If you leave me, don’t do it like he did.”

“Katherine…that’s not something you will ever have to worry about.”

She took a deep breath, shaking, and on the exhale said, “I’m in love with you. I know I’ve said the words, but you need to hear me. You need to know…I…”

Her eyes filled with tears, and my response was to fill her in every way I knew how. I moved her to lay on her back and fell between her legs. Her arms instantly wrapped around me, her feet at the back of my thighs, urging me on as I pushed inside.

She gasped as I entered, keeping our eyes locked as she asked, “What made you fall in love with me?”

“For me, my Katherine, it was your heart. The day in the bridal shop, standing in that dress…I discovered treasure…I knew, in that moment, I’d found treasure. You were my Katherine in gold.”

My lips and tongue gathered every tear that landed at her temples as I made love to the woman I loved. All we needed now was time, for her to trust my feelings for her were genuine, to know I would never do anything to hurt her, and to build a foundation for both of us, for our futures.

Together.

Katherine

Bear Claw was busy. Not people lining down the street busy, but steady for sure. We hired Leo full-time, and Gloria was now on twenty hours a week. I was so fucking happy I hardly recognized myself. I doubted anyone else really noticed, because the novelty of happy-Kath had worn off. But for the first time in years, thirteen to be exact, I was happy, I was in love, and I’d followed my dream.

Keeping firm on my determination to maintain that happiness, I didn’t return the forty-four messages my mother had left hot on the heels of the conversation with my dad. Six months ago, I would have returned a text or email to my mother, feeling obligatory daughter guilt. I supposed that was what I should feel, but no more. I had nothing to say to her or to him. If they happened to stop by the shop, so be it, but I was done taking his abuse, and though I’d like to think differently, I was sure my mother didn’t call because she wanted to; she called because Dad told her to.

Fuck ‘em.

It had been four days since the tiff with Dee, and I finally decided to bite the bullet and walk up the stairs to Beachy Bride. I needed to make the first move, and Tori was right; Dee didn’t have a lot of friends, except for us. When she left England and her asshole ex, she left that life and the friends she’d made there, too.

“Hey.” I bumped Holst with my hip and smiled up at him.

He leaned down and said into my ear, “I think we need a week somewhere with complete and total privacy.”

“That’s so spooky, it’s like you’re reading my mind.” I laughed. “Listen, I’m going upstairs. I gotta make the Dee thing right. You cool?”

“I’m cool. And, uh, Katherine?” he asked as I grabbed my purse from under the counter.

“Yep?”

“Thanksgiving. I know we’ve been invited to spend it with your friends…”

“They’re your friends, too, Holst.”

He gave me a small smile and asked, “Do you mind if it’s just us this year?”

This year. Meaning, there were going to be more.

I put my hands behind his neck, my purse hitched on my shoulder, and stared into his beautiful brown eyes. “I think that’s a great idea.”

His thumbs moved in circles on the sensitive skin of my ribs. “Dee probably feels terrible, baby.”

“It’ll be fine. Besides, I’d like to go in and check on my dress. It might be wondering where I went, and I would hate for something so pretty to have abandonment issues.” I giggled, not really even thinking about what I’d just said to him.

“Katherine.” He squeezed me in his hold, his face stern, all signs of happiness gone.

“Whoa, what just happened?” I asked.

He shook his head then pinned me with his eyes. “Buy the dress,” he ordered.

“What?” I asked, like he was suddenly speaking to me in Greek.

“You heard me. Buy the dress.”

I tried to take my hands away, but he held my arms tight. “Remember when I said you need to piss me off more?”

I tried to shake off his hold again, but nope, no good. The man was stronger than me.

“Katherine…” he began, still not letting me get away.

I didn’t want to make a scene since there were customers and Leo was only standing a few feet away.

“Katherine…this is happening.”

“It’s barely been three months,” I countered.

“And it’ll be many more.” He squared his shoulders, actually growing in power right before my eyes. There was no denying this man was in love with me. He saw marriage and babies, the whole enchilada.

“What happened to taking things slow?” I asked.

“You didn’t want slow,” he reminded, his lips curving into a small grin.

“You’re right,” I agreed and grinned as heat hit the back of my eyes and tears threatened. “You fucking motherfucking fucker.”

“Buy the dress,” he said with a full smile then let me go.

“Okay, but just so we’re clear, fuck you.” I giggled and wiped under each eye.

“I understand you feel the need to keep the emotional playing field level by swearing at me, but what I just heard is that you’re madly in love with me and cannot wait until I kneel in front of you with a ring and ask you to be my wife. Am I wrong about that?”

I nodded and flipped him off at the same time.

“I didn’t think so.” He chuckled.

With my purse over my shoulder, I went out the back door, behind Bear Claw and Coastal Ink, and up the stairs to Beachy Bride.

First, I stopped in to see Ruby and check on my always nauseous bestie. “Hey, what’s happening?”

Tori looked miserable. The kind of miserable you see on a commercial for cold and flu medicine.

“If you whisper the words egg roll, I’m gonna throw up everywhere,” she warned. Her face was actually a very pale shade of sage green. I’d never seen anything like it.

“Did you have a craving?” I asked.

“Don’t talk about it,” she whimpered and tried to make a paper crane, which I assumed was for wedding favors…or Chinese New Year.

“Why don’t you go home? Ruby’s here. She can make paper cranes in her sleep and run the shop.” I nodded to Ruby, who saluted me with a hot glue gun in one hand and a white cardboard butterfly in the other.

“I need to be productive,” she moaned.

I dropped my purse on the closest chair and moved behind her. She’d been leaning over at the big table, probably uncomfortable considering her body was accommodating another person now.

I put my hands under her armpits. “Come on,” I coaxed.

“Where are we going?”

“Slowly now. I like these shoes, so don’t get semi-digested egg roll on them.”

“Don’t…just…don’t,” she begged.

I moved her to the corner, where her big comfy armchair sat, and held onto her arms until she was settled. Then I pulled off her shoes, one by one, wrapped her afghan over her and started to rub her feet.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Close your eyes, babe.”

“Really, I took something for the nausea. It just hasn’t kicked in yet,” she said.

“Then when you wake up, you’ll feel like a million bucks.”

“Kath—”

“Don’t argue with me, and I promise, when you wake up, Dee’ll have some gossip for you. You don’t get it unless you go to sleep.”

“I am pretty tired.”

And not two minutes later, she was sleeping soundly, her hands under her cheek in her big-ass flamingo-colored armchair.

I walked back over to Ruby and sat across from her. “You’re, like, the greatest friend ever,” she told me.

“That chick over there would walk through fire for me. The least I can do is rub her feet. Listen, I’m going next door. I need to make things right with Dee…and I was told to buy that beautiful gown in the window.”

“By whom?” she asked, setting down the glue gun.

“Who do you think?” I smiled.

She said nothing and stared at me with a blank face.

“Yeah, I know,” I replied. Even though she gave nothing away, I knew exactly what was on her mind. “Fast. But there aren’t any plans or anything. That dress is mine though, and dude, I never, ever thought I’d be buying a wedding dress.”

Still no smile, but her eyes were wide. “Not fast at all. Go forth and buy. Remember, I have all the decorations and everything in my head.”

“See ya later, Rubes.” I smiled.

“I’ll be here with my butterflies.”

***

I walked in the door of Beachy Bride and watched as Dee moved like lightning across the room to me. “Listen, I was an asshole. I don’t want to talk about Frodo. Please, please forgive me.”

I quickly returned, “It takes one to know one. We won’t talk about him, but it sucks, and of course I forgive you.” Then I took a big breath. “I have to buy a wedding dress.”

“What the…?”

“No,” I shook my head, then explained exactly what happened with Holst.

Dee bent to a wood box that sat on the table, opened it, and took out a little parchment card with the word sold in gold letters. “I’ll keep it for you. You pay whenever you want.”

“I don’t want to talk about what it does or doesn’t mean. I just need to know it’s there when I want it, because I really love that fuckin’ dress.”

“Yeah. Kinda like when Tori saw her dress. It was just…made for her.”

“Yeah. So, we’re good? And by that, I mean, are you good?”

It was then I watched as Dee crumbled. She fell onto the couch behind her and burst into tears. I joined her and wrapped her in my arms while she sobbed.

“He’s too much for me. I can’t, Kath. I just can’t be who he needs me to be.”

I stayed with her for half an hour, just letting her cry, telling me more about her ex, and how her friends in England knew about the other women, but none of them wanted to be the one to tell her. The worst part was knowing just how deep her love for Frodo went, but her reluctance was driven by fear. And I knew that fear. It was still there in the back of my head, pushing and prodding, never letting me forget. But I told my fear to fuck off, and Holst never gave me any reason to doubt.

And now…

I had a wedding gown.