Текст книги "Katherine in Gold"

Автор книги: J. B. Hartnett

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Katherine

It was the end of October, the day before Halloween. Summer was officially over. The first cool days began, and things between Holst and me were…fantastic. I don’t think I’d ever been happier, and comparing—which I tried not to do, but couldn’t seem to help myself—my relationship with Holst to the one I had when I was young…this was no comparison. Just like I’d told Tori, my hope was confirmed. It was the biggest. It was the best. My heart was full, and I had bruises on the insides of my thighs from all the delicious sex.

And I couldn’t stop smiling.

Holst hired a new employee, a tattooed guy named Leo that Frodo introduced him to. He’d been a manager for another café in town and was more than happy to work weekends. It seemed Coastal Ink was a great way to network.

Meanwhile, Ruby, Tori, and I decided to have an intervention with Dee. From what we could see, she was pretty unhappy since whatever had been going on with Frodo had ended. But she wouldn’t tell us what happened or why.

And that wasn’t cool.

I decided to be the leader since I was the most tight-lipped of all of us. Actually, Ruby still hadn’t explained what happened when her ex took her for three days, but that was different. We all respected Ruby would talk if she needed to. But Dee? This was Frodo, unnaturally blue eyes, random huge-ass tattoo of Gandalf the Wizard on his back, large, silver plugs in each ear, a great beard in the making, and never mind he was short. Apparently the guy packed a jackhammer.

So, what the fuck?

Oh, and most important of all, she was clearly in love with him.

Operation carve-the-pumpkins was set. Paper Petal had a huge, rustic table in the middle of the shop, all shabby-chic style. But my girl Tori covered it with plastic trash bags, big, silver bowls for pumpkin guts, and Ruby provided all the tools we would need for what she called, “The best decorated pumpkins on the West Coast.” Her tools included an actual electric drill and a small hand saw which, to be honest, kinda scared the crap out of me. I considered myself a handy, do-it-yourself gal, and if I couldn’t figure out how to do something, I called in a professional. But using a saw on a pumpkin? I was having a hard time envisioning why a good, old-fashioned serrated knife wouldn’t do.

Then Ruby pulled a little, red wagon out of the back with a giant-ass pumpkin and all was clear to me.

I leaned my head to Dee, who was laughing at the orange monstrosity, and said to her, “Power tools. I get it now.”

An hour later, we were all carving, and I let out a long, happy, satisfied sigh. This was part of the plan.

And, as planned, Tori commented with faux sarcasm. “What happened to you?”

“What?” I asked innocently, just beginning to carve my little pumpkin. I was past the goopy-pumpkin-guts stage and onto the creative, make-it-awesome stage.

“I seem to remember you being irritated with me when I was falling in love with Cam,” she teased.

“Well, that was annoying, because I never thought I’d have a shot at what you did. Now, I’ve got my shot. All we need is you two whores to get your asses in gear and find good men.” I then turned my attention to Dee. “By the way, what happened with Frodo?”

It wasn’t subtle, not at all. But we needed to corner her and get some answers.

She stabbed her pumpkin, which was looking very pretty with a little bride silhouette on the front.

“So, guessing the bride dies in your horror movie pumpkin carving theme?” I joked, doing my very best to keep things light.

But then she began hacking away at the thing. Ruby grabbed her wrist mid-stab and smiled. “I can rescue this pumpkin if you stop the bloodshed now.”

And Dee began to cry. Not a pretty cry. Not a nice dainty cry. This was face-contorting, guttural, animal-sounds crying.

We all surrounded her, and finally, she said, “He married her.”

“Who married who?” Tori asked.

“My ex. He married the girl from Exeter. They worked together, but not for a few years. He kept her in a flat, spent long nights working, sometimes didn’t come home…that’s where he was, with her. He married her.”

Tori rubbed her back and said, “I’m so sorry, honey.” Ruby and I were both looking at Tori, letting her take the lead, and to my total surprise, she powered on with the plan. “I, uh…” She paused.

Dee looked at her and asked, “What?”

Tori carefully asked, “Sorry, Dee, but I’m still wondering why Frodo’s out of the equation?”

“He’s had a lot of women, and he has a lot of secrets,” she replied.

“Frodo?” I asked with surprise.

“Yeah,” she returned.

I decided to add my own two cents, but did it as gently as possible. “From what I hear, your future brother-in-law, Nico, was a total man-whore before Lark came along. And he worships the ground she walks on, right?”

Dee gave a humorless laugh and asked, “How many woman do you think Cam has slept with, Tori?”

My bestie blushed a little and said, “His numbers are well under twenty. Mine, not so much.”

She then turned her head to me and asked, “What about Holst?”

I actually didn’t know, so I filed that away for more twenty-questions nights. “I have no idea, but I don’t care. Mostly because I know my number is probably higher, for one, and two, it’s in the past, babe.”

“Okay,” she said, “let me rephrase: how many women do you think he’s had at the same time?”

We all shared a look, and I, for one, needed more information. “Wait. What? What do you mean?”

“It can’t leave this room, and I mean it. You share with anyone, and it gets back to him, I’ll never trust any of you again.”

Ruby was the first to speak. “I don’t have any friends except for all of you, and I don’t want to screw that up. So your secret is safe with me, Dee.”

Tori seemed more reluctant, but was honest. “I don’t keep things from Cam. Not when it’s important stuff. But I know he absolutely detests gossip, so if it’s something juicy, he’d rather not know.”

It was down to me. “Yeah, you’re just gonna have to tell me and trust I won’t go blab it from the rooftops. That’s not my style. So honey, fucking talk!”

Then she laid it on us.

“He has a series of pornos.”

Ruby made a screeching noise and threw her hands over her face. Tori’s eyes bugged out as a smile spread from ear to ear. Me? I was a big fan of porn and had a pretty good collection of clips on my Tumblr page to prove it. So I had to ask, “What was his name? I’m assuming he isn’t doing that anymore.”

“Frankie Fastlight.”

“Oh my fucking fuck,” I whispered.

“Of course.” She threw her hands up and looked livid.

“He didn’t have tattoos then,” I told her, and, unfortunately, the image of Frodo and his huge schlong popped into my head.

“You’re picturing him, aren’t you?” she asked.

“I’m not gonna lie, yeah, but here’s what I can tell you. He must’ve been a lot younger, Dee. His hair was super long then.”

“I’ve seen pictures,” she said.

I was pretty open-minded, and really, he wasn’t still doing porn now, so I tried to reason with her, help her see the bigger picture. “He was an actor doing a job, Dee. It isn’t like he was a hitman or something.”

In no way was I trying to make light of his past or her feelings about it, not really. But that’s exactly how she took it, and her next words dripped with acid as her eyes narrowed on me. “Listen, you may be able to just forget that about, oh, five seconds ago, you were not in a good place, Kath.”

“I know that, and I’m not exactly out of the woods. I just got lucky I found someone who opened my eyes—”

“No, you got lucky you opened your legs to a good guy for once,” she bit, and when her words went through my ears and finally arrived at my heart, I decided it was probably best I leave.

I wiped my hands on the towel Ruby had thoughtfully laid out for each of us and grabbed my purse from the floor by my feet. “I better get going.”

“Kath,” Dee said in a small voice, “God, I didn’t mean—”

“Yeah...yeah, you did, honey. And every word of it was true. But I’m telling you, the day you started playing matchmaker with my life and called Frodo to get Holst into your bridal shop…I might as well have been naked. He saw me completely vulnerable, and you manipulated that, babe. So, thank you. If you hadn’t, I’d still be trying to fuck away the pain I’d been living with since I was twenty. I was just trying to return the favor, before you let the best thing in your life get away. See ya, Dee-ya,” I said, choking back tears, because she hurt me. She knew it, and I wasn’t going to stick around and let her try to kiss my ass and make up for it.

I walked out the front door of Paper Petal, the sun setting on the horizon, and headed home. I used to have a car, one I shared with Tori, but after she and Cam got together, I sold it. I never drove it, and all it did was sit there, free room and board in the guise of insurance and registration. But my place wasn’t far, and I knew Holst would eventually find his way to me. He’d have a late surf after closing, go to his place and do whatever he had to do there…but we always slept at my place. Always.

I was in the alley behind the cottages and just at Tori and Cam’s back gate and garage when I heard Tori behind me.

“God, you’d think after all that hiking I did on the honeymoon, those stairs wouldn’t wind me, but they totally do. Every time!” she huffed.

“I’m gonna go home, Tor,” I said over my shoulder. I’d slowed down, but didn’t stop.

“If you make me chase you to the apartment, I’m telling Cam on you,” she threatened, and I smiled, because I didn’t think Cam would hurt a fly, let alone raise his voice to me. Then again, knowing how he felt about Tori, I probably shouldn’t poke the bear.

I turned around and made my way back to her. She was trying to be pissed, tapping her foot, hand on her hip, but Tori, try as she might, could not give good attitude.

“I love you, and I love Dee, too, for that matter. And I don’t think there’s gonna be a time I’m not reminded I used to be an easy lay. I just don’t need to hear that from my friends. She’ll get over that scene, and so will I. But I’m gonna need a couple of days to regroup. Got me?”

“I’ve got you, Kath, but I’ll raise you,” she said softly. “Her ex married the woman who stole him, and, in the same week, the guy she was reluctant about because she thought he might be the one,” she air quoted, “doesn’t just tell her he used to be a porn star, he opens up the laptop, goes on some porn site, and says, ‘that’s me. The one with the long hair.’ But it wasn’t just that. It was all the women. Her ex didn’t cheat on her once. He’d done it before, a few times, but she forgave him.”

“Frodo isn’t her ex.”

“I know, but Kath…”

“Yeah, I’m hearing all that, but as many women as Frodo was paid to fuck, it’s probably the same as I have fucked, and it wasn’t my job. It was my crutch.”

“Kath, there’s no way you’ve slept with hundreds of men. I lived with you for most of your sexual history.”

I was choosy, but still...

“Thirteen years, Tori. There’s a lot of mileage on this car, and I’d like to say I have no regrets, but right now, I’m feeling them. I love you, big time, but I gotta go home, honey.”

“Kath…” she whispered, but said nothing.

I stood there and just tried not to cry, but I failed, and that’s when she threw her arms around me.

“Thanks, Tor,” I said, trying not to squeeze the life out of her.

“Dee isn’t used to friends. We were there once. We just need to teach her and Ruby how it’s done.”

“Going now,” I said, pulling away first.

“Call me if you need me. My fairy costume doesn’t fit, so I’m gonna wear a big hat. Are you and Holst handing out candy tomorrow? I’m sorry, I didn’t even think to ask.”

Holst decided we should hand out cups of hot apple cider on the sidewalk in front of Bear Claw to promote the business. I’d planned on getting a costume that night, but now, I didn’t really care. In fact, my entire attitude was now ambivalence, which told me it was time to go home and bake.

“We’re handing out cider and one-dollar-coffee coupons,” I told her.

“Okay. Tell Gozer hi for me.” She smiled. It was sympathetic, but not filled with pity, and I loved her for that.

“Yeah. Tell that whore, Zuul, I’ll see her tomorrow.”

And with that, I walked home.

Then I baked my ass off.

Katherine

Later that night, the minute I walked in my front door, I took out the food processor, a stick of unsalted butter, and plain flour. Within five minutes, I’d blitzed the mixture for pâté brisée, or pie dough, wrapped it into two discs, and popped them into the fridge. Then I opened the cupboard to see what fillings I had on hand. I settled on cherry. I had this bad habit, almost like a weird fetish, for buying fancy jars of berries with the intention of making some kind of dessert with them. And this wasn’t some willy-nilly “Hey, what’s that jar in the back of the cupboard that expired four years ago” fetish. No, I baked…a lot, especially since Tori moved out.

While the dough chilled, I ran down to my neighbor, Terry’s. He left me a text that said we had a suspected plumbing problem bigger than his skills, and probably my own. I stood in his living room and saw the color difference in the wall. First things first, I went back upstairs and checked to see if anything was leaking or running, and the last place I looked was Tori’s old bathroom.

“Motherfucker,” I sighed, with a wrench in one hand and a bucket under the S-bend of the sink.

I went back to tell Terry that I’d get a plumber in the next day, but it was obvious to us both, the water damage was pretty bad and probably extended into Frank’s apartment, as well.

“I noticed it smelled a little damp, if that makes sense,” he said apologetically. The leak had probably been going on for months. “I’m so sorry, Katherine.”

“Terry.” I smiled and waved it off like it wasn’t a big, thousands-of-dollars deal. “It’s cool. We haven’t had any problems for years. I know a guy who knows a guy.” I laughed. “You mind if he comes inside tomorrow?”

He smiled back at me. “Make sure he’s hot.”

“I’ll make sure he’s hot and a good plumber.”

***

By the time I called a plumber—one I’d picked up a card for in the grocery store and now hoped he was good looking and skilled—then cleaned up that mess, Holst was walking through the front door.

I was baking a pie.

“Honey.” He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I’m home.”

“I’m baking,” I murmured through each delicious touch of his lips on the skin of my neck.

“Why are you baking?”

“I’ll tell you later, when we eat it.”

“What are you baking?”

“Pie,” I managed to get out while I let my hands move into his thick hair.

“Okay then. Your pie first. Can’t stop thinking about your pussy, Katherine.”

“I had a bad day, Holst,” I said quietly.

He turned me in his arms, his hands slowing, and said, “Thank you, baby.”

“For what?” I asked, letting my head fall against his shoulder.

“For telling me. New guy is opening, and he’s training a woman who has two kids who just left the nest and doesn’t care how much she gets paid…which means, we get to sleep in tomorrow.”

“You’re not…running a marathon or surfing the coast of our great state?” I teased.

“Even better, I’ll be waking up with you and getting my exercise another way.” He grinned, but when he did, his face softened. His eyes searched my own, and out of nowhere, he said, “I told you to say the words when you’re ready…”

“Holst—”

“I’m in love with you, Katherine.”

My entire body began to shake when I asked, “Is it this easy?”

He brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear and said, “Apparently, when you’ve found the one, it is.”

“Damn,” I mumbled.

“Damn?” he enquired with one thick, dark eyebrow raised.

“I wanted to say it first.”

“Baby…” He laughed quietly, his chest moving up and down as he held me.

All I had to do was say the words I knew were inevitable, ones that rolled off my tongue without reluctance, without fear right from my heart, to him.

And I did.

“I love you, Holst.”

“I hoped so, my Katherine, but to hear you say the words…I’ve never heard anything sweeter in all my life.”

***

I made us sandwiches and hot cherry pie for a late dinner. We always tried to get to sleep before ten, since six came early, and for Holst, even earlier if he wanted to go for a surf. We also had a healthy sex life, and late nights might have started with the intention of a quickie, but lasted much longer.

I told him I’d had a bad day, but hadn’t elaborated yet. Not until I asked, “How many women have you slept with?”

I was eating pie, so was he, my feet in his lap with CSI Miami on in the background.

“Would you really like to know?” he asked.

“Actually, it never mattered to me before because I’ve never been emotionally invested in the men I sleep with. Hm, let me think about that for a sec,” I told him and continued to chew.

“What prompted this inquiry?” he asked and finished his last bite.

“Ah, something I think you already know. About Frodo.”

He contemplated his response. I could only assume, if Frodo did tell him, he must’ve asked him to keep it quiet, like Dee had asked us.

“Is his past the reason he and Dee are no longer not dating?”

“Yeah. I mean, there was more to it than that, stuff with her ex, but in addition to all that, she basically called me a slut in front of Ruby and Tor.” I waved my hand like it was no big deal, deciding at that moment to make light of it. I didn’t want Holst to think badly of Dee. “It was the heat of the moment. She was pissed. I pushed her—”

“That’s not an excuse.”

He set his plate down on the floor and took mine from my hands. He wiped the corner of my mouth with his thumb and sucked the gooey pie filling into his own. For a minute there, I forgot what we were talking about. Then he hit me with.

“If the fact you had many men before me, and I had many women prior to you, infers we are both…sluts…” He grinned. “I’m grateful. I’ve learned your body, your tells, what sends you flying, and what makes you moan deep in your throat…something I now strive for, by the way. But I hold no judgement over you or your past, and, unfortunately, Dee slung her arrow to a wound that seems to be frequently opened for you. I can’t tell you how to feel, but I can tell you I’m exactly where I want to be, no care of who came before me, with the woman I intend to spend the rest of my life with and—”

“Excuse me?” I started to push back from him. I needed distance. I needed CPR.

“Katherine, relax.” He chuckled and grabbed my ankles to keep me put. “I’m not hiding a gold band in my pocket, waiting for that perfect moment. I also won’t lie to you about what I’m feeling, but if it’s too intense, too much too soon, I won’t mention it again.” He paused and studied me before his smile widened again. “Until I’m hiding a gold band in my pocket, waiting for that perfect moment.”

“You did it,” I whispered, tears clogging my throat.

“What did I do, baby?” He put his hands on either side of my face, his long lashes closing down over his deep brown eyes.

“I had this top-of-the-line force field built around me…and you got through. I mean, I’m kinda bummed in a way, because I worked really hard on that thing.”

“Katherine.” He smiled and brushed his lips against mine.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “But after tonight, I think I’m done with this crying bullshit. For years, I kept that shit locked up tight, and then you come along, and it’s a Sob Fest.!” I let out a dramatic crescendo at the end of my brief tirade. But Holst held me, didn’t say a word, and let me slow down enough to say, “I can handle the arrows, as long as I don’t have to handle them alone.”

“You don’t have to handle them alone,” he said gently. “Pace yourself, Katherine.”

“Pace myself?”

He let his long fingers glide down the outside of my neck, over my collar bone and shoulders, until he reached my bra straps and pulled them down, one by one. “Arms up,” he requested and lifted each garment over my head and down my arms. Then he set my body on fire as his lips moved across my skin. Every curve and dip from my jaw to the top of each breast was explored. He was slow and casual in his actions, but every single one of them counted.

His lips touched the corner of my own, his breath awakening my mouth with the promise of his kiss.

“I like waking up with you,” I breathed and let my tongue give the briefest touch to his bottom lip.

“I do, too,” he agreed.

“I also like going to sleep next to you.”

That time, he didn’t reply. He only chuckled.

“I want you here, Holst. Before the gold band, I want this to be your home.”

Fuck, I couldn’t believe those words just came out of my mouth. And as he pulled back, slowly, painfully slow, his hands moved to my hips and squeezed.

“Living together and working together…” That was all he said. It wasn’t no. It wasn’t yes. It was noncommittal, and that freaked me out.

I didn’t move or even bother to cover myself up, but I called him on that shit. “Thirty seconds ago, you were preparing me for a future of china patterns.”

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and, once again, opened them. “And I need to make sure you get there with me. It’s all new,” he said, his hand brushing across my bottom lip. “You’ve never done this. I have, and I know all too well how it can end,” he breathed. “I’ll be next to you every night and wake with you each morning, and when the time is right, we’ll talk about what comes next. But…” He grinned. “I’ll tell you what that is and when it’ll happen, and I promise, you’ll be ready for it when it does.”

“So…you’re not thinking that, by keeping your place, you have an escape if you get sick of me?”

“No.” He laughed.

But I didn’t. I didn’t at all.

Carefully, I tried to explain why I was freaking out. “Because, see, when I was twenty, there was this guy, and for five years, I went to his place, and then one day, there were packing boxes lined up against the bedroom wall, and all the furniture was gone…except for the bed. That was there. That was there so he could have one last fuck before he threw me away.”

“Don’t do that,” he said gently.

I was being matter-of-fact. I didn’t raise my voice or get bitchy. I was simply telling him what I knew. “All I’m saying is, the fact I felt you retreat just scared the shit out of me.”

He grabbed my hips and yanked me forward, flush against his body. “I cannot and will not give you guarantees, Katherine. There are too many unknowns in this world that could conspire against either one of us. My intentions are to keep you bound to my heart until the day I die, fuck you hard and often in between, and if I pass before you, know that you’ve built a shrine to worship my memory, wear black and wail from morning till night, because nothing else would even come close to what we had. Are you understanding now why I don’t want to rush you into all of that and fuck it up?”

“I was wet before,” I said on a shaky breath. “I’m very wet now.”

“Do you understand?” he asked. Maybe his patience was wearing thin, because he seemed almost angry, but I couldn’t help myself; it was hot.

“I like your cock,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

“Katherine…” he warned, and I felt the tension build in his body.

“I understand,” I whispered.

My voiced shuddered as the words left my mouth, and that’s when he pushed me back and ripped the zipper open on my jeans, yanked them down along with my panties, over my ass, turned me around…

And spanked me. The sound of the smack still echoing in the room, my nipples instantly hard, and I just could not believe he fucking did that!

“Oh…my…Jesus! Did you just…spank me?”

“You’ve never been spanked?” he asked, with surprise I might add.

“Who do you think would dare spank me?”

“That sarcasm is going to see more than my hand on your ass. You deserved it for making me wait.”

Smack!

His hand came down again, and this time, he let three fingers glide down the small of my back, between my cheeks and through the wetness gathered at the opening of my sex.

“More?” he asked with a rough voice, and that made me instantly want to submit to whatever the fuck he asked of me.

“Just fuck me,” I requested, but it sounded like a ragged plea.

“Hard?” He moved from the couch to the floor, stepping on a plate and cracking it in the process. Then he pulled my jeans and panties free of my feet.

“Until I scream,” I replied.

And when I knew he was behind me, preparing, the clack of his belt buckle, the tracks of his zipper, the fevered movement of cotton on skin, he curved the long fingers of each masculine hand on my hips and said, “I can do that,” and surged inside me, a moan from his throat and a whimper from mine accompanied it. “Every time I fill you with my cock, every time I feel you wrapped around me, I feel like I’ve come home, and I’m telling you now…” He pushed further and stayed buried to the hilt as he leaned down and promised, “No one else but me, my Katherine. Ever.”