Текст книги "Katherine in Gold"

Автор книги: J. B. Hartnett

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Katherine

Thanksgiving Day brought Holst and I closer to being one of those housebound, obese couples that require one of those grabby-handle sticks to reach the TV remote. Basically, we’d eaten our way through the holiday. I wanted to show off my culinary prowess to my man. Therefore, I left no yummy stone unturned: a roast turkey, brined in a salt bath of bay leaves and citrus rinds for two days. I then filled it with porcini and herb stuffing and braised it lovingly with lemon butter. I’d found a recipe for sweet potato pie, a savory side that pretty much combines every vegetable on earth into one dish.

We were eating pecan pie with a buttery, chestnut crumb crust when Holst turned to me and said, “I want you to know, that as much as I want to finish this day, our first holiday together, by making love to you, I think it’s physically impossible for me to move.”

The very next day, we were suddenly propelled into Christmas. Bing Crosby sung carols in the background at Bear Claw, and, at my insistence, we were knee-deep in eggnog lattes, hot apple cider, mince pies, and coffee, of course. Christmas had always been a non-holiday for me. Mom and Dad went somewhere for him to schmooze clients and ski. Most of the time, I was looked after by the non-skiing women or older kids. Not once did we ever have a tree or presents.

But I was determined to change all that. First off, shopping. I went to Tresso and paid our old boss, Greg, a visit. I needed to stock Tori up with Christmas decorations and holiday crap she absolutely didn’t need, but I knew she’d love. I didn’t own any Christmas decorations at all, so I stocked up for myself, too.  But me, being me, I also went into the baby section and found coffee mugs for Cam and Tori that said Mama Bear, Papa Bear and a little one that said Baby Bear. They were so freaking cute, I couldn’t help myself.

And what kind of auntie would I be if I hadn’t?

After dinner, on an unusually brisk December night, Holst announced Bear Claw needed a real tree. I bought fake ones that looked like they’d been felled and plonked into a stand. Gloria taught us how to make angels from paper cups, and she and Leo placed them around the shop with our names and a few regular customers’ likenesses. I commissioned Christmas garlands from Ruby, which had cinnamon sticks, paper oranges with cloves glued to them that smelled awesome, and paper coffee mugs with our logo. Two in the windows, and one across the faux fireplace, and if anyone ruined them, I’d kill them. They were fabulous. Holst said the only thing we were missing was the smell of real pine trees.

Walking through the Boy Scout lot, Holst held his coffee in one hand and my hand in the other and asked, “Hey, can you hold my cup a sec?”

“Sure,” I said and watched as he bent down. At first I thought he was tying his shoelace…but he was wearing leather boots, the kind you just pull on.

He bent down.

Then he looked up with his eyes smiling, his face smiling, and his palm flat with a little black box in the middle.

“I’ll give you a hint,” he said. “It’s gold.”

I looked around at the pine trees and asked, “Am I being punk’d?”

“No.” He shook his head and chuckled.

“It’s too soon,” I whispered.

“It’s not too soon. Getting married tomorrow would be too soon. This is just an engagement, and this part can take as long as you need it to.”

“Can you hold this for me?” I handed him my cup, nodded yes, and flipped him off at the same time.

“This is a thing now…isn’t it.” He chuckled. “You give me the answer I want, it just comes with the bird.”

Then, God knows why, because it was freezing down there, I kneeled in front of him and closed my hand over his and the little box. “I love you. But I need more time, Holst. Not a few more months. I don’t know how long. I just…I need…”

“I’m not going anywhere.” One at a time, he set both our coffees on the ground and, surrounded by pine trees, he pocketed the ring and placed his gloved hands on either side of my face. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I couldn’t say anything. They were just words, and I knew he meant every one of them, but that didn’t change the fact I was scared.

“Can I see the ring?” I asked.

“Are you going to wear it?” he returned.

“I…” …should not have hesitated.

“No.” He smiled. “But it’s ready when you are, my Katherine.”

“You’re too much,” I choked out. My eyes welled up, and I was pretty sure I was going to cry, but all of a sudden, and a great surprise to me, I changed my tune. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Baby, I’m not going to answer that question.” He grinned.

“It’s like I’m bipolar or something! I love you. You love me. We’ll have a long engagement because we haven’t been together long. The business is new, we’re new, so we’ll just do it when it feels right. So, give me my goddamn ring!” I stood up, and he tried to stand up, too, but I pushed him back down by the shoulder and said, “No way. You’re kneeling motherfucker.”

With his former huge smiling face, he joked, “When we have kids, you might have to curb that mouth.”

“And you might have to make me,” I returned, and that’s when he opened the little box. All I could see was a sparkling, emerald-cut diamond. Not quite ostentatious, but definitely gorgeous. I immediately demurred, “I won’t swear in front of the kids. And if I do, you can spank me.”

“That, I fear, will only make you swear more.”

“Can you kiss me now?”

He stood up and faced me. He looked concerned, his eyes moving back and forth, studying my own and probably trying to determine if I was crazy. But then, he leaned in and kissed me softly, a gentle peck, and said there, “I will not leave you.”

I nodded, though I wasn’t entirely committed to that belief. First, life had no guarantees, just like Holst had said before. Second, it wasn’t about him. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him. It was the damage done to me by the man who’d had my heart before him. But what I realized standing there, Holst absolutely knew that, too.

He confirmed this by saying, “We will always have ghosts, Katherine. But they don’t get to determine our futures unless we let them. I believe your ghost is gone, just not forgotten. But remember, I’m beside you in battle now.”

“Thank you,” I whispered then pressed my lips to his.

“You’re my Katherine,” he said. “Mine.”

“Yours,” I replied.

And I wasn’t even sure when he did it, but at some point, he slipped the ring on my finger.

A perfect fit.

***

Two days before Christmas, Holst and I were sitting on the couch, watching The Sound of Music—as you do, or I do anyway—when he turned to me and said, “I have to talk to you about work stuff.”

“Okay.” I muted the TV. It was the part when the Von Trapps are on the run, not much music. “You have my full attention.”

“Someone asked if they could hire out Bear Claw for a regular meeting every Monday night.”

“So, we need an employee there, right? I’m happy to do it, or if you want to trade off…”

He squeezed my hand and said, “This person is someone we trust, someone that can make coffee, clean up the place, and close it at the end of the meeting.”

“Holst…” I began, but he continued.

“Katherine, I have to share this with you because you’re my business partner, but also, my fiancée.”

“Your delivery of whatever you’re about to tell me is freaking me out. And not because you threw the ‘fiancée’ part in there. Just so we’re clear.”

“You’d possibly stop by, or the girls might ask you questions…”

“Stop beating around the bush. I’m not a blabber; I think you know that about me, babe.” Now I was getting kind of pissed-off.

“There’s going to be an AA meeting at Bear Claw every Monday night. They have a few meetings around town, but a few were looking for a new venue. As far as anyone else knows, that meeting is a bunch of nerds reliving their teens playing Dungeons and Dragons or Warhammer, one of those.” He chuckled.

“I have no problem with this, Holst. Tell me who it is.”

“Frodo, baby. He opened up to Dee, and when he did, he told her everything about himself. He didn’t want to keep any secrets from her, the good or the bad. She couldn’t handle it. I don’t know everything, but I know enough that, yeah, it would take a strong woman to handle his demons.”

“She is strong. She’s just scared of getting her heart broken again, and that, I totally understand. So, I’m gonna guess his demons are more than just a porn career?” I asked.

“He’s struggled with alcoholism, and the first time he found someone he believed he could have a future with…anyway, he started to drink again. I know him being at a meeting held at Bear Claw puts you in a position where you might have to lie to your friends.”

“It’s not my secret, Holst.”

“It’s going to come out eventually. Zack knows because he and Nico have had to cover for Frodo when he went downhill. They had a girl working for them, but she quit, and apparently, Zack’s sister helped cover, as well, but all those people saw a very drunk Frodo lose his proverbial shit in front of customers and co-workers and basically tear the place to shreds.”

“No shit?”

“No shit.”

“That seems…totally out of character for him.”

“Alcohol, or anything in excess for that matter, is poison. But the mindset of an alcoholic—I went to Alanon meetings for a while, just to wrap my head around the man my father allowed himself to become—they can rationalize anything for their addiction and the behavior that comes from it. Whether it’s beating your wife or hurting the people you love, they will find an excuse. Anyway, Frodo’s strong enough to start his recovery again, and that’s what matters now. Well, he has started his recovery again. But there’s something else, and this is the part I think is going to be the hardest for you.”

I turned off the TV. “Hit me.”

“Interesting choice of words,” he commented.

“Huh?”

“The day after he tore up the shop, he and Dee had final words. He hit her, Katherine. He doesn’t even remember doing it, just like my dad, and…he hit Dee.”

“Oh my God,” I whispered as he went blurry before me and tears streamed down my face. “She didn’t tell anyone, Holst. She went through that all alone?”

“Lark. Nico called Lark. She wasn’t alone, baby.” He pulled me into his arms, and I felt even worse, him comforting me when I wished I could comfort Dee. “That’s why he got help. His job comes with a lot of pressure and I think—”

“Giving people tattoos is a high-pressure job? What’s he afraid of? Misspelled words and Chinese symbols that mean fork instead of love?” I asked.

“That’s a story for another time, but yes.”

“I don’t want to hear anymore. It’s time for some happy. I want to open some ornaments, and I know we’re late on tree decorating, but I figure we can make this tree last until next July. We just won’t put any fire or electricity near it.”

He chuckled and closed his eyes. That was a lot for him to tell me, and my quick change in topic wasn’t for him; it was for me. The enormity of what Dee and Frodo were going through was extreme.

“So, Christmas day, we head out to your mom’s. Are we still on for drinks at Tori’s?”

“Yeah, we’re still on for drinks at Tori’s.” He brushed my hair away from my face, his body strong and sure before me as he said, “You’re a good friend, baby. You have no control over the choices your friends make.”

“I don’t know how to feel about Frodo,” I admitted.

Holst looked away from me and waited for what felt like minutes. “He’s a man with a disease. It doesn’t excuse what he did, but I believe he is a good man who reached his limit of all life has thrown at him. He reached out to hold the hand of a good woman, someone who would help him in his battles, and she chose not to take that on. The loss of the one person who holds the fate of your heart is a terrible pain, and it’s a pain you’ve felt before, Katherine. If for no other reason, you can empathize.”

He was right. Frodo and I had a lot more in common than I’d ever admit.

“Love you, Holst.”

“My heart, Katherine.”

Holst

I’d often mentioned to Katherine that I was now her partner in battle, because to me, that’s what life felt like sometimes. It was comforting to know you had someone by your side, through the thick and the thin. To pick you up when you fall, to help you be the man you were destined to be, but only fully realized when you had a good woman at your side.

I’d found that woman, like a prospector finding gold where no one thought to look. No one saw beyond her veil, beautiful as it was, as if they couldn’t be bothered. But I did, and there I’d found treasure within Katherine. Her heart was big, but too many people in her life, the ones that mattered, had discarded it. And though she accepted my ring on her finger, something wasn’t right.

And today, more than usual.

Early in the morning, I heard her phone buzz with a text message. She didn’t mention it, and I didn’t question it. I had no reason not to trust her, but she’d been on edge ever since.

We arrived at work after Leo opened in the morning. Our day and evening was planned, and tomorrow, Christmas morning, we would drive out to Temecula and see my mother and Al. This would be another first for Katherine, and I worried she was nervous, but since her entire being was nervous, I knew there was more.

As far as my mother was concerned, Katherine had covered her bases well. She bought the biggest gift basket I’d ever seen, which seemed to include the entire Yankee Candle collection—I mentioned they were a favorite of hers—and Al was covered with a box of cigars and a beer gift basket from Trader Joes.

I’d hefted presents she bought for all of her friends into the store room since we were to meet at Victoria and Cameron’s house that night. And now, she was busy, on fire, scrubbing and cleaning and tidying to the point each Bear Claw coffee mug on the display shelf was angled so the customer could see the branding when they walked in the door.

Finally, as the morning rush died down, I asked her what was in that message.

“Katherine?” I tried to pull her away from literally making the cash register shine—it was plastic, but she was relentless.

“Yeah?” Her task had reached a level of cleanliness often classified as OCD.

“Stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop doing that before you rub through the plastic and hit the motherboard.”

“What?” She finally turned to me, completely distracted.

“Katherine, what’s going on?” I held her wrist gently, because I’d learned from my previous relationships that there are days when you should not cross a woman.

My caution wasn’t enough.

“Let go of me,” she demanded, though my touch was light and only meant to take her attention from whatever was on her mind.

“Katherine,” I said more quietly. “Talk to me.”

“I need a break,” she said and yanked her hand away.

“Okay,” I replied without argument.

Her phone buzzed with a new text. She took it from her pocket and looked at the screen.

“No,” she whispered.

“No…what? What’s going on?”

She looked to the door and moved in its path, and the second she planted her feet, a woman walked in, and I knew immediately that woman was Katherine’s mother.

“Leave,” she told her, standing as tall as she could, her body rigid like she was preparing for a fight, protecting her territory.

“Katherine.” The woman came right to her and desperately urged, “They’ll be here any minute. You need to listen to me—”

“No. I told you I didn’t want to hear from you or Dad, and yet, here you are, trying to fuck this up for me. When are you gonna stand up to him, Mom? When—”

That was when the door opened…

There was one customer seated in the far back corner with headphones on, completely unaware of what was happening. Leo stood back and watched, then silently moved toward me with a small nod, letting me know he was there for whatever we needed.

I nodded toward the back and said, “Get Tori.”

Then I stood with Katherine. Not behind her. I stood at her side.

A man walked in with the same eyes and jaw structure as Katherine. Her father loomed before us. I hated him instantly, a pig of a man, the kind of man that would save himself before the women and children.

But the next man…I reached for Katherine’s hand and squeezed it. I said one word into her ear so she could hear me, “Battle.”

“Dad,” she said, holding her ground, still standing proud and tall, surrounded by her dream. With me at her side, and, hopefully, Tori not far away, I hoped it would be what she needed to fight.

“Katherine,” her father said. “You’re a difficult girl to get a hold of.”

“Woman,” she corrected. “In case you didn’t notice, I’m a woman.”

“Female,” he countered. “All the same.”

“Max, you always had a way with her. Tell my daughter here what a terrible idea this was,” he said, nodding to the man behind him as he took in the shop.

Max was younger than her father, but not by much, and when Katherine began to shake beside me, her resolve fading, I looked to her mother, who shook her head, trying to communicate something to her daughter.

“Why?” Katherine rallied. “Why did you come here?”

“We have an engagement party over New Year’s, which I’m sure your mother explained to you. You did give her that message, am I wrong?” he asked his wife. She nodded her answer. “That one does what I ask. You…do not.”

I wanted to turn our café into the set of a horror movie and paint the walls with the blood of these two men, but I contained my anger for Katherine. I needed to allow Katherine to take this stand against her oppressive, asshole father.

“This is my business partner, Holst. We’re making a profit, and that’s all you need to know. Now go away.”

He raised his brow and looked at our clasped hands. “Looks like he’s more than a business partner.”

Her grip tightened as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and declared, “Yeah. I’m gonna marry him. Now, we sell coffee and we have,” she looked over her shoulder, “two lemon poppy seed muffins and one cinnamon roll left. But I insist you make your order to go,” she spat.

And that was when the identity of the second man became clear. I surmised that he worked with her father, but now I understood as he stepped forward and told her, “You’re making a mistake, Katherine.”

“No, I made a mistake when I was fourteen and gave my virginity to a predator that took his fill of my body and my heart then left me…” she faltered, “…broken.”

I moved my hand around her waist as the other man approached.

“Katherine.” Her father said her name like an accusation. “What in the hell are you talking about? Whatever you got yourself mixed up in as a teenager is not the point of this conversation. This conversation is to determine if I need to clean up your mess. And your mother said you’d renovated the apartment building? You cannot throw money away on an investment like that unless it’s completely necessary—”

“Dad!” she shouted.

“Do not raise your voice at me!” he returned.

Quietly, evenly, she explained…everything. “It’s not an investment, you asshole, it’s my home, and I will live in it until I’m ready to have a family. Then I’ll eventually convert it back into a house when we outgrow the two bedrooms upstairs.”

“You’re an idiot,” he retorted.

“Fuck you,” she returned, and with that, he moved to stand above her, his fat finger pointed in her face, and that was when I pushed him—not hard—but I pushed him all the same.

“You need to back off,” I warned.

“And you need to know your place.”

“This is my place, right beside this woman. Back off.”

“Ron, back off,” the other man spoke in agreement. “Ron,” he urged, and the second time did the job. Katherine didn’t move, but the other man did.

“Max,” she whispered.

“My darling, Katherine,” he returned in a way I knew he’d said it before to watch her face soften, to watch her bend to his will, and the power he held over her. And when I felt the weight of her body slacken beside me, as if she was going to fall to her knees, that’s when I knew…

He still had that power.

“What…?” her father asked as her mother came forward.

I never let go of her hand even though that scum…Max…reached his hand to touch her face.

“Do not. Fucking. Touch her!”

“Someone tell me what’s going on here? Claire?” he demanded of his wife. “What’s going on?”

“Wait outside, Ron,” she told him. “Just…wait outside.”

“I’m not going anywhere!” he shouted.

The man in the corner was now standing behind the counter next to Leo, essentially watching the drama unfold.

Then, Max spoke. “Thirteen years ago, I left the woman I loved.”

I moved Katherine back a fraction of an inch, not for her sake, for his. Any closer, I’d have to hurt him.

“Afraid of what people would say,” Max continued. “Afraid of what my mentor and business partner would think, of how it would affect my future. And I thought…staying away from her was the best thing I could do, and it killed me, Katherine. It killed me not to come back to you.”

“You…!” her dad bellowed with what appeared to be a forced reaction. “You screwed my daughter?”

Max ignored Ron for the most part. He only turned to him and said, “You treated her like she was nothing but a disappointment. I treated her like a queen,” he countered.

“Ron.” His wife moved in and pulled her husband by his jacket toward the door. “Ron, they need to set things right.”

“You knew!” He pointed his finger at his wife. “You fucking knew?” Then he slapped her across the face with the flat of his hand and yelled, “Get in the fucking car!”

“No,” she screamed. “No, I will not get in the fucking car.”

“You forced my hand with the apartments for Katherine. You told me she was in a bad way, that she needed to stay here, and you didn’t think to tell me why?”

“Do you think, Ron, if I had come to you and said our daughter is in love with a man who is fifteen years older than her, who she’d been seeing right under our noses since she was fourteen, and that man happened to be your business partner, you’d be happy about that? By the time I put all the pieces together, it’d gone on for so long, my only option was to pretend like I didn’t know, so I could get you and Max as far away from her as possible. One man who should’ve protected her, the other, who you should’ve protected her from. Both of us, Ron. We both should’ve protected our daughter.” Her tears came silently, a reaction I thought was familiar to her. “I knew Max would leave her, and if she came to Florida with us, he’d keep hurting her over and over again, because, just like you, he has no spine.”

“You knew?” Katherine asked her mother.

I could hear her own silent tears next to me and wanted this all to end as quickly as possible. It was time to put a stop to Katherine’s pain.

As I took in the situation, Max lifted his hand to wipe her face.

I felt every inch of my body ignite in pure hatred. My hands began to shake as I tried to control my temper, and told him, “Touch her again and I will break your hand.”

I’d never felt hate like I felt it then, but it was nothing compared to the pain that seared right through me when Katherine looked at me, took her hand from mine, her eyes red and swollen, and said, “I have things I need to say to Max without an audience, H.”

I took her hand back, too hard, and watched her face wince at the pain, but she gave me a soft squeeze and implored softly, “Please.”

And then, I let her go, and watched, as everyone else did, her mom and dad standing to the side. Victoria, who was behind us now, moved beside me, sobbing, and just like that, Katherine led Max out the front door.