Текст книги "Blue"

Автор книги: H. J. Bellus

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

Chapter 27

Tuck managed to make love to me last night until I almost passed out, doing all sorts of dirty things to me, and then he was gone before I woke up. It’s game day, and I understand that’s part of it, but he made it clear he wasn’t going to be joining my parents and me for breakfast. He also skipped out on picking them up at the airport last night with some excuse of a team meeting running late. Funny thing is Lane wasn’t at that late meeting; I texted Sophie and asked.

He’s putting up a barrier, and I have the sinking suspicion he won’t even give my dad a chance, and that thought pisses me off. I’m already late to breakfast and have my cheer bag scattered all over Tuck’s room. It’s probably a good thing he’s not here, because I’d be forced to karate chop him in the nuts for slowly morphing back into his guarded asshole persona.

I scramble to stuff everything back into my school-colored duffle bag, not giving two fucks what’s wrinkled or not. The pad of my finger glides across the sharp edge of paper, slicing it open. I pull it up quickly to my lips to catch the drops of blood and dull the stinging throb.

“Fuck.” My voice echoes in the quiet room.

Out of curiosity, I pull the paper from my bag and freeze in horror. It’s the same writing and same message, only this time there’s a photo of me taped to it. The rush of bile racing up my throat is not a threat, but rather a promise. I race to the bathroom and let it out in the toilet, dropping the note in the bowl with it. My stomach cramps as the convulsions don’t let up, and all my air is lost between gut wrenching gags.

“Blue.”

I barely hear a voice and know it’s my mind playing a trick on me. I need to get out of this house and be with someone. The harder I fight to turn off the retches, the faster and harder they come out.

“Blue.”

Turning my head, I see Tuck standing in the doorway. When we make eye contact he rushes to my side.

“What the fuck, baby?” He brushes my hair back from my face.

My sobs take over, and even if I wanted to tell him how scared I was, it would never happen.

“Here, baby.” He lifts me up with his strong hands and sets me on the counter. He starts the water in the sink and begins cleaning me up, stopping every once in a while to shoot me a questioning stare, but I don’t answer. When he brushes my teeth, I don’t protest, I just open up.

“Did you forget something?” I ask.

“Aren’t we going to breakfast?”

“I know there wasn’t a team meeting last night.” The words echo in the small bathroom, and they may be more painful than those words on that damn hate mail.

Tuck leans back against the door, running his hands through the back of his hair, not making eye contact with me. His hoodie rises just enough for the burnt piece of his abdomen to show.

“I’m trying, Blue, I’m fucking trying and don’t know what else to do.”

I pound my fists against the countertop. “Just fucking love me, be with me, and fucking protect me. Just love me.”

My voice trails off, and raging emotion that I’ve never felt before leaves my body in tears and sobs. It’s an attack I didn’t see coming and try to hide from it by bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I rock back and forth.

“Stop.”

He places his hands on each side of my face, and then his strong, gentle lips on the top of my head.

“You promised me, Tuck. You said you’d give me all of you.”

“Stop, Blue.”

He forces me to stop rocking, then picks me up from the counter.

“You’re leaving me, aren’t you, Tuck?”

He never answers my question as he places me in his truck, tosses my cheer bag in the back, and hands me my make-up bag. When I look in the mirror, I scramble to put some make-up on. The last thing I need is my parents riding my ass about my puffy eyes and tears. With everything I have, I suck it all back and focus on today. It’s game day, televised, and my parents are here, and Tuck’s here…for now.

By the time Tuck pulls up to the hotel, I have enough make-up slapped on to cover up any emotions that may be lingering on my face. Not one word is spoken between us on the drive over, but just like every single time I ride with him, he holds the door open for me, waiting on me to shuffle across the seat. He takes my hand, and for a moment everything feels like it will be all right in the world.

“Blue.”

The screech pierces my ears before I even fully enter the hotel lobby. My mom is up and on her feet sprinting toward me. You’d think she hadn’t seen me for months rather than last night.

“Momma.” I nod and hug her back.

“Oh my heavens, this must be Tuck.”

He stands frozen in place with his hands resting comfortably in his pockets. By no means did he dress up for the occasion in his black gym shorts, a long sleeve team shirt, and a ball cap, but then I look down to my warm-up suit, and I just shrug.

“Mom, this is Tuck, and Tuck, this is my mom.”

He’s wrapped up in a hug before he has a chance to even smile.

“Welcome to the family,” I joke and look around for Dad. “Where’s Dad, and where are we eating?”

I pull Mom off of Tuck and notice the tears forming in her eyes. The woman has been so damn emotional lately, and I know it’s because she’s homesick for me.

“He’s on a call. He will meet us on the patio in a few.”

I watch in awe as my mom loops her arm through Tuck’s and begins leading the way. He snags my hand, and I follow the two. If you didn’t know any better, we look like the picture of perfection. The eager, overzealous mom about to watch her only child cheer at a college game. The cheerleader with all the looks and zapped confidence. And then Tuck, the gorgeous, dreamy star player who is nothing but perfection. When in reality the two of us are nothing but a train wreck that’s already crashed, and we’re just trying to put the pieces together. The terrifying thing is the pieces will never go back.

Tuck pulls out a chair for my mom. He’s playing her just like a fiddle, and she’s eating up every second of it. I wait for him to sit by her and leave me standing and staring, but he doesn’t. With his back to my mom, he whispers in my ear, “I’m here, Blue. You’re not. You might want to wake up and enjoy this.”

His words catch me off guard, and I pull back and look into his eyes, searching for the punch line to his joke.

“I’m doing my best. I love you, Blue, and that’s the only reason I’m here.”

“Sit, kids.”

Peering over my shoulder, I see my mom’s curious and beaming face. I place a quick kiss on his lips and repeat those three words back to him.

“I love you.”

Tuck and my mom fall into an easy conversation, seriously distracting me from the worry of him running out on me, and leaving me to focus on the damn letter I found this morning. I rub the pad of my thumb over the loose skin of the paper cut and repeat the words of the letter over and over in my mind.

“Blue.”

“Yeah.” The sound of my name sucks me from the nasty vortex spiraling around in my mind. When I look up, I see my mom and Tuck both staring at me.

“Are you all right, honey?” Concern covers my mom’s face, and I know she’s just inches away from figuring out something is bothering me.

“Fine, why?” I shrug.

“I was talking to you, and you didn’t even acknowledge me.”

“Yeah, where are you, Blue?” Tuck elbows me and then pulls me into a tight side hug.

“Sorry.” I slap his broad chest. “Just going over a routine in my head. A bit nervous for this televised game.”

“Blue,” says my mom in her ‘don’t feed me that line of bullshit’ voice.

Someone grabs me from the back, tipping my chair, and then I feel my dad’s whisker burns and hear his laughter. I fight to push him away just like I did when I was kid, but then laughter hits me and I can’t get away. The more he rubs his stubble on my cheeks, the harder I laugh. My mom hollers at him to stop, but it’s not until she throws a croissant at his head that he does.

“Dad.” I stand and turn into him, throwing myself into his chest and hugging him hard. “I love you.”

Something about his presence comforts me when I’m the most vulnerable. He pulls away and goes straight to Mom, placing a kiss on her forehead, and then takes a seat. I don’t realize the stare-down that’s going on until my mom clears her throat.

“Honey, this is Tuck. Blue’s boyfriend.”

“Hello, sir.” Tuck stretches his hand out over the table.

“Have you guys had sex yet?”

Holy shit, water spews from my mouth, sending ice cubes over the tablecloth, but it doesn’t stop my dad.

“I hope you’ve been HIV tested, or I’ll cut your nuts off.”

“Dad,” I squeal and then cover my face. “I told him you’d be nice.”

“Well, if you so much as look at her in the least sexy way with those horndog lusty college boy eyes while I’m around, I’ll kill you.”

“Dad.” My voice comes out muffled between my palms, and when I look up, Tuck’s hand is no longer stretched out and he’s turned off.

“Just shitting ya, kid.” Dad’s laughter fills the tiny café. “Please take her annoying ass off my hands, and my Visa will thank you.”

I feel the blood rush back into my face and my jaw relax. “You asshole.” I toss the croissant back in his direction, but he deflects, sending it into my mom’s hair.

“Get over here, Tuck.”

I watch as my dad rises to his feet and walks halfway to our side of the table. Tuck mimics his actions and is pulled into a tight hug. Dad pats his back, making a loud thumping sound as Tuck stands rigid.

“Sorry, can never pass up scaring the shit out of someone.”

“Well, sir, you sure did.” Tuck takes his seat next to me.

“Let’s talk ball.” Dad takes a long drink from his ice water. “Because god knows I’ve spent way too many years hearing about cheer and dance.”

“Dad, you’re an ass.” I flick water in his direction.

“You know you love me, baby Blue.”

The two men quickly and very easily fall into a conversation about college ball, and the sound of their voices mingling soothes me. The two men I need in my life…actually have to have in my life.

I have to cut them off so we can get to the stadium on time.

“Okay, we have to go, Dad. We will see you after the game, or at least I will.”

I shoot Tuck a sideways glance.

“Oh, I’ll meet up for dinner and keep arguing about the fact Emmett Smith is and always will be the best running back in the history of running backs.”

“Boy, I have a lesson or two to teach you.”

Tuck stands and gives my mom a long hug without hesitation, and then shakes my dad’s hand, and even lets my dad wrap him up in a one-armed hug.

“Blue.”

“What, Daddy-o?”

He steps away from Tuck and closes the distance between us. The pad of his thumb rubs along my jawline.

“When did you get this scar?”

“What?”

“This long scar on your jawline.”

“Oh.” I stall with terror and should’ve known my dad of all people would’ve noticed the fading scab. “I, uh, connected pretty hard with the mats one day at practice, but I’ve been using that cream.”

“It’s a nasty one, baby Blue. When you come home this summer, I can do some treatments on it.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” I wave him off.

“Just keep your face from the mats from now on.” He wraps me up into a full body hug and then whispers into my ear. “I expect the full damn story when your mother isn’t here.”

“Dad.”

“Blue, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Fine.” I push back off him. “We really need to get going, or our coaches will have our asses.”

One final wave of hugs and goodbyes are exchanged before Tuck and I finally make it out into the parking lot.

“So?” I ask, clutching his hand.

“What?”

“You are such an ass, Tuck, I swear.”

He scoops me up in his arms and throws me over his shoulder, and I break out in laughter. I swear the man knows when I start to get pissy and then breaks the mood. He begins jogging, dodging, and juking fake defenders.

“Stop.” I helplessly beat at his back. My fingers find the waistband of his boxers and try tugging them up.

He gently slides me down the cab until I’m pinned between him and the truck with my feet barely touching the ground. His sweet lips brush against mine, but don’t stop long enough to kiss me. Instead they trail down to my neck, and he begins and dragging his tongue along my skin, in between quick kisses. I shiver against him and practically moan, begging for more of him. He has this power, or maybe it’s part of the curse—hell, I don’t know—but he makes my knees quiver and heart race with the simplest of touches.

His lips move on my neck, and I try to comprehend each word he says. “I just wish you’d get help, Blue. I know you’re still struggling with the attack, and you won’t let anyone help. Meeting your family was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but I’d do it again just for you.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my head against his shoulder. “I’ll be okay, Tuck, I just want to forget. I need to forget.”

He forces me to look into his face. “You won’t forget without help. You don’t believe you’re safe with me, and I don’t know what else I can do.”

“I don’t think…”

The words stick in my throat, and no matter how hard I push, I can’t get them out.

“You don’t think what, Blue?

“I don’t think I’m in danger with you.”

Lying has to be the worst thing in the world. I just lied to my dad, and now to Tuck. It’s wrong, so very wrong, but an addicting drug that I need to have to cover up the pain.

“Can we fuck tonight after dinner?” He thrusts up into me, letting me know how excited he is.

And we are back to our typical duck and weave tactic when hard topics arise.

“You could fuck me right now, right here, if you wanted, Tuck Jones.”

A low growl rumbles in my ear as he swings open the truck door and throws me back on the bench seat and takes me.

Chapter 28

With football season over, Tuck has been driving me fucking nuts. I still have cheer practice, and now a strict schedule with basketball season and national cheer competition coming up. He still works out and does school work at lightning speed. I swear the man is borderline genius and the best athlete I’ve ever met. It took him weeks to bounce back from losing the national championship, but it seems he’s more determined and driven to win it next year.

In the last three months, I’ve avoided the dorms as much as possible, only checking in with Steve and cycling out my clothes. I never let Tuck go in because I don’t want him to stumble across a letter. They’ve been few and far between, but haven’t left my memory. Last time I logged into Facebook, the same messages filled my inbox.

“Tuck, move your ass,” I holler from the couch as I slam my math book. “You promised me.”

“Calm your tits, Blue.”

I’ve finally talked him into going to the beach with me. It’s something I’ve wanted to do since spending time there with Noah. It’s one thing Tuck doesn’t do. He works out there running in the sand, but never spends leisure time bathing in the sun, and I get it.

“Hey, I’ve swallowed like ten times for this afternoon.”

Tuck pulls me up from the couch and drags me into his solid chest.

“I thought the deal was eleven times.” He smiles down on my lips.

I bite down on his lower lip until he winces in pain.

“Take me to the ocean right now, Tuck Jones. Spend a few hours there with me. Then bring me home and thoroughly make love to me, and then do my homework.”

“Damn, I’ve really turned you into a princess, haven’t I?”

“Only yours, Tuck.” I clamp down on his lip again just to make him squirm. “And you’re my prince.”

“You mean Beast?”

I shoot him a dirty look. “You’re either the asshole or my prince. Way too beautiful to be the beast of this story.”

“I’d like to put it in your asshole.”

“You’re such a jerk.” I slap his chest and grab the bag I packed. “Let’s go.”

On the drive, Tuck is quiet and reserved, but just like in the beginning, I push him because I never want him to think anything less of himself. I bought him a short-sleeved t-shirt that barely shows any of his burns, but he’s still less than thrilled to be wearing it.

“Look,” I squeal as we pull into the parking lot. “It’s deserted like god reserved it just for us.”

Tuck chuckles at me. “A bit overdramatic, there, Blue.”

Before he has a chance to back out, I nudge him in his shoulder, urging him out the driver’s side door, and then follow him.

“Grab the cooler. I’ve got the bag.”

“Yes, boss.” He pulls his shades down, and I see a twinge of hardness cover his face.

“Stop.” I slap his ass as he hoists the cooler up on his shoulder, and he only growls back at me.

I could literally do cartwheels across the sand. First getting Tuck here was a battle, and then it being deserted is like the cherry on top of my dessert. I stop for a second and slip off my flip-flops, letting the sand tickle every single inch of my feet.

“Where to, Blue?”

I point off to an area around a slight bend with a mass of large rocks, thinking it would be the perfect spot even if someone did show up. Tuck would appreciate any sort of privacy.

“Damn, you’re so hot.” My gaze is locked on Tuck with that cooler perched on his shoulder and the barest slice of his abs peeking out through his t-shirt.

Every time I tell him how gorgeous or hot he is, he always has the same reaction. Nothing. I used to wonder if he even hears me, but that stopped the one night he wrote me a letter explaining why he can never accept my compliments. It was heart wrenching and made me hurt for him.

“You know what, Blue?”

His voice startles me. Peering up into his shaded eyes, I wait for his reaction.

“It feels really good to be loved.” He leans down and places a quick peck on my cheek. Freezing cold water escapes from the cooler, landing on my shoulder and flowing right down the middle of my back.

Like a fool, I squeal and take off, trying to dance the cold liquid out of my swim top.

“Careful, toots, you might blow a tit,” Tuck hollers.

He was less than pleased with my bikini top, claiming it left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

“Catch me, then you can put it back in for me.”

I take off down the beach with our bag swinging behind my back and don’t look back, because Tuck is one of the fastest men on the freaking planet, so if I have any chance of escaping him, I can’t waste time seeing if he’s coming or where he is. About thirty strides in, my body is lifted from the ground and cradled up into Tuck’s arms. The man’s strength and power still shock the living hell out of me.

“Nice try, little bird.”

“Ass,” I holler.

The closer we get to the tide, the louder we have to talk.

“Call me that again and I’ll punch you in the balls.”

“Not much you can do about it, is there?”

“Oh, over there, Tuck, see that white sandy spot?” I point and try to kick free from his hold.

“Got it.”

He doesn’t put me down when we hit the place I want to camp out for the day. Instead, he drops the cooler to the sand and then flips me around, gripping my ass and forcing my legs to wrap around his mid-section. I drop the bag when my arms frantically grip around his neck.

“Tuck.”

“I fucking love you, Blue. I hate the shit you make me do, but I fucking love you and want to remember how each second feels with you.”

My lips break open to respond, but before they have a chance to, he claims them in the most aggressive kiss I’ve ever tasted. He’s completely shocked me with his confession and powerful kiss. Tuck drops to his knees, still holding me above the sand, and I know things are about to get dirty. When he wants sex, nothing stops this determined train of a man.

I find the hem of his shirt and pull it up over his head, only breaking our kiss for a few seconds.

“I’m just loving you, so enjoy it.” The words are lost on his lips as he continues to ravage mine.

He flips us around, so that he’s sitting on the sand and I’m straddling his lap. Tuck’s hands leave my face and begin fumbling with the button on my shorts. I’m afraid he’ll rip them off in a second if they don’t start cooperating. I rub up and down the rippled skin on his back. I’ve forced my palms to memorize every single one of his burn marks. They are what makes him who he is, and I never want to forget.

He grips my hips, raising me up and then slamming me back down onto him. A deep gasp of shock and pleasure escapes me. Tuck hypnotized me with his kiss and surprised me by entering me so quickly. I drop my head onto this forehead, pulling from his kiss and soaking up all the emotions running through me right now. He splays his hands on either side of him, digging into the sand.

“Watch me,” I whisper.

I wait for Tuck’s eyes to meet mine and then begin riding him. I find a steady rhythm that threatens to ruin our moment all too quickly. My hands lace in the back of his hair, knocking his hat to the sand. We’ve been completely exposed to each other before, but out in public like this is almost too much for me to handle. Every square inch of my skin is alert, reacting to any touch with overwhelming passion.

“Tuck,” I moan, and then everything inside me tightens up and releases with painful, beautiful pleasure shooting from the tips of my toes all throughout my body. I feel Tuck go limp underneath me, falling back onto the sand. I giggle when I realize I hadn’t even noticed he found his own release.

“That.”

I place a kiss on his lips.

“The best.”

Another kiss.

“Sex ever.”

This time I don’t pull up from the kiss, pouring everything I have into it. He rolls me over, pushing my back into the sand, and enters me again. And just like the first time, I gasp in shock and pleasure and send my hands flying over my head to rest in the sand. I let him take me and enjoy each stroke of it.

“I love you, Blue.”

He grunts after my name leaves his lips and slams back into me one more time, filling me with the most delicious feeling in the world. I prop myself up on my elbows and kiss the tip of his nose.

“Thank you for this.”

Tuck tilts his head to the side, not understanding me.

“You just gave me the world by coming here with me and doing this. I love you, Tuck Jones.”

“Enough mushy shit, little girl. I’m going to dunk your ass.”

And in Tuck fashion, he scoops me from the ground, snags my swim bottoms, and races toward the ocean. He has us both in the freezing cold water before I can protest, and this time when I go under, I’m holding onto him and staring straight into his dark eyes.

The eyes that’ve haunted me, broken me, and absolutely captured my heart from the beginning. I bring one hand up to his face and cup his cheek. Within moments, he paddles to the top of the water, still holding me.

“Damn, it’s cold.” Tuck flips the water out of his hair. “Wipe that goofy grin off your face, Blue.”

“I can’t help it.” My fingers brush beads of water off his shoulder.

“So, what now?”

“We just relax. Do you know how to do that, Tuck?”

“No, I mean there’s no weights or anything to lift.”

I send a splash up into his face and then kick away from him, taking off into the water. I find it comical that I can swim faster than Mr. All-Star Jock. Hours pass as we play in the water, sunbathe, nap, eat, and then hop back in the ocean. And to our delight, nobody shows up to invade our slice of privacy.

“I need some real fucking food.”

I roll up from my belly to see a disgruntled Tuck propped up on his elbow. “I packed food.”

“No, like real fucking food that sticks in your belly.”

Being an ass, I spread my legs wide open, and say, “Help yourself.”

Tuck pounces on me, and I scream out in a fit of laughter.

“No.” I pull him up by his hair.

“You can’t taunt me like that, missy.”

“Not here.”

“Really?” He crooks an eyebrow at me. “Because I’ve taken you like four times here today.”

“No, that’s just too…”

“Too what?” His smile shines brightly while he waits for my answer.

“It’s too intimate. My favorite thing you do, and I don’t want anyone interrupting us.”

“Good to know.”

Tuck’s stomach rumbles against mine.

“Burgers?” I ask.

“Please, for the love of all things fucking holy.” The pitiful look and puppy dog eyes melt my heart.

“See if Lane and Sophie want to meet us there, and I’ll pick up, big guy.”

He rolls off of me without a second question, scrambling for his phone while I gather our few things and nibble on the remaining carrots in the cooler. This moment is bittersweet. It was the best day of my life, and I don’t want it to end.

“They will meet us there. Ready?”

I look up into Tuck’s excited face and can’t help but smile back.

“Yeah, baby.” I plop the last carrot into his mouth and then grab his hand as we make our way back to the truck.

For one of the first times in our relationship, I don’t talk or bring up sore subjects. Instead I relish every second, branding each memory of our day on my heart.

“I don’t care if they are here or not, we are fucking ordering food.”

“Geez, Tuck, you act like I made you eat tofu and seaweed all day.”

“You did, didn’t you?”

He pulls me out of the truck, practically dragging me into the diner. If I wasn’t on such a lust hangover, I’d be a little shit and drag my heels the whole way. He heads straight to the counter to order while I use the restroom to wash up.

I shake my head at my goofy face reflecting back at me as I soap up my hands. I’ve never in my life looked so ecstatic and overwhelmed by one person. It makes me giggle harder at the insane day I experienced with Tuck. A light squeak invades my happy moment, and I turn around to see a dark-haired stranger staring at me.

It’s enough to spook spiral me back into reality where I have no idea who the enemy is. Quickly, I dry off my hands and rush back out into the main area of the restaurant and find Tuck, who is already eating. I fucking swear he has the waitresses and cooks wrapped around his little finger.

“Happy?” I ask, looking down at him.

“Now I am.” He drags me into his lap as he chows down on his food.

He’s so intent on eating, I’m afraid I may lose a finger if I snag a fry from his plate. Moments later, a server places a chef salad in front of me and I grin stupidly at it, realizing Tuck knew better.

“Thank you.” I pet Tuck’s thigh before digging in.

“What the hell?” Sophie stands before us with her hands perched on her hips.

I shrug. “You know that no one gets between Tuck and his food.”

“Bitch.” She plops down on the bench opposite of me.

I slide my plate over to the center of the table and let Sophie pick off her favorite parts.

“What did you guys do today?” I ask around a mouthful of food.

“You know.”

“Okay, okay, shut up now.”

Lane sits down, and Tuck doesn’t share a damn lick of his food.