Текст книги "In Pieces"

Автор книги: Gia Riley

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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

“You’re not a problem, Kinsley.” Kate stresses. “I just think we need to stop being too busy for each other.”

There’s no use arguing about it. I have one more day before we’re shipping off to some cabin in the woods to be a family. Though a real family wouldn’t have approached me like this—like I’m some druggie off the street who wouldn’t have sat down to have a normal conversation with each of them, one-on-one.

“I have to get to the diner.”

Carson jumps from the couch, chasing after me like a little puppy dog. “Wait, Kins. I’ll drive you.”

“I got it,” I tell him, as I walk away. Last night the idea of being completely alone brought me to my knees. Now, all I want to do is find someplace I can be by myself. It’s crazy how things can change in less than twenty-four hours.

Carson follows me outside even though I told him I was fine on my own. “You’re mad I called them, aren’t you?”

I stop, only halfway down the stairs. “Wyatt won’t even look at me. Becca said two words. Kate’s treating me like some case at work. I don’t need this stress, Carson. You meant well, but please stop interfering.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m going to need support and help, but Rhett and I have a lot to figure out as it is. And those decisions will be made by the two of us—not anyone else.”

“Okay, I get it. Will you still let me drive you? I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Maybe by the time we get to the diner, I’ll have figured out how to let Carson go without ruining our friendship. Though something tells me it won’t matter how gently I go about it. He’s going to be gone for good.

KINSLEY DIDN’T COME to school today. It was only a half day anyway, but she probably thought news of our baby would be spread all over school by now—and it is. I’ve fielded curious questions all day long, but it was the ones about us breaking up that pissed me off the most. I didn’t break up with my girl. As far as I’m concerned, she’s still mine. Whatever my mom tried to do to our relationship isn’t going to stick.

I spent most of last night and today thinking up the perfect plan. Finally, while I was running in gym class, it dawned on me there might be a solution. I’m not supposed to get any of my trust fund money until I turn twenty-one. My grandfather put aside a large portion of his estate for me so that when I was responsible enough, I’d have access to the money.

As long as I can convince my dad that I need some of the money early, and my mom doesn’t find out about it, I’ll be able to support my family while we both go to college. Preferably far enough away from here that I won’t be accused of tarnishing the family name any more than we already have.

When I open my locker, there’s a crumbled envelope taped to the inside. I pull it off the metal door, and when I open it up, I realize it’s the hush money Kinsley was paid to keep the baby’s paternity a secret.

“Thank fuck,” I whisper, unable to hide the smile on my face. I’m so proud of my girl and I take it as a sign that she’s not ready to give up on us like she said she was. That she’s not going to bow down to anyone even if the money would have made her life a whole lot easier.

I shove the envelope in my pocket and take off running toward my truck. When I push through the front doors to the school, I spot Kinsley getting into Carson’s Jeep. Considering how upset she was when she came to my house last night, even saying Carson almost hit her with a book, I’m more than a little surprised she’s already made up with him. Especially before she spoke a single word to me.

I follow them all the way to the diner, watching as he helps her out, just like I would have done. I hate that he’s trying to take my place, but what I can’t stand even more is the way she’s looking at him. Like she might actually have feelings for the guy.

He must feel it too because he leans in and kisses her on the forehead like I’ve done so many times. I have to close my eyes it hurts so bad. I’ve been willing to look past their friendship because they have a long history, and I would never ask her to give that up, but the guy I’m watching, loves Kinsley. Problem is, she’s already mine.

It takes everything I have to hold myself back—to give them a little space. I manage to wait until he’s back in his Jeep before I haul ass across the parking lot to catch up to her. When I’m close enough, I reach for her arm, slowing her down.

She jumps, yanking it out of my hand. Once she realizes it’s me, she clutches her stomach. I glance at her hand, wondering if she’s in pain. “Are you okay?”

Her eyes travel over every inch of my face like she’s memorizing me all over again. Finally, she blinks out of her trance. “I’m fine. What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you. Do you have to work?”

“No, I’m off, but I missed my shift last night. There’s actually a lot I need to discuss with Betty.”

As far as I’m concerned, her business is still my business, so I ask, “Like what?”

“I’m taking a little time off.”

Finally. I’ve been telling her to do less for weeks. “Good. You should rest more.”

“Did you follow me here?” she asks, looking around the parking lot for my truck.

“I got the envelope, and I saw you leaving school, so I followed you. I’ve actually done a lot of thinking, and I came up with this plan. It might not work, but there’s a good chance it could. I wanted to figure it out with you over break.”

At first she looks intrigued, like she really wants to hear what I have to say, but the hope that quickly appeared fades away when she glances at Carson’s Jeep. “I’m going away for break. With Kate and Wyatt.”

“Is Carson going?”

She nods her head. “He’ll be there for most of it. It’s his cabin.”

I don’t want Carson anywhere near my girl and my baby. “I still want you to stay with me. We can go to my uncle’s place like we talked about. My parents are doing the country club thing—Mom’s not even cooking this year.”

She chews on her lip, like she really wants to say, yes. Still, something’s holding her back. “Rhett, I can’t. Nothing’s changed, and they’re making me go with them.”

“But you gave me the money back.”

“I don’t need money to keep my mouth shut. I won’t spread any vicious rumors. Your mom doesn’t have to worry about me interfering, but I can’t deny where my baby comes from. I just can’t.”

“I don’t want you to. I’m proud that you’re my baby’s mom—I’m proud that you’re my girlfriend. I’ve told you that since day one.”

“I know. You never cared what anyone at school thought about us being together. Thank you for that.”

“I mean every word. I miss you, Sunny. You still love me, too—I know you do.”

“I never said I didn’t love you, Rhett, but I’m helping you. I may not agree with your mom’s approach, but she said a lot of things that were true. You have so much to look forward to. You would be settling if you stayed here with me. Nobody should have to settle for the rest of their life.”

“Just like you’re settling for Carson. I saw the way he looks at you. You’ve only ever looked at me that way. It’s me you want, Kinsley. He’s never been your first choice.”

“It doesn’t matter what I want anymore. The baby and I will be fine. Please, fix things with your mom—before it’s too late. You don’t know how lucky you are to have her.”

She turns toward the stairs, but I don’t want to leave here without her. “If you think I’m letting you raise our baby with Carson, you’re crazy.”

She stares at the steps in front of her, her shoulders drooping in defeat. I wait for her to tell me that isn’t what she’s going to do, but she never turns around. She reaches for the banister and walks into the diner like I didn’t just beg her to come back to me.

If I had a better relationship with my mom, maybe I’d listen to her. I’d go home and convince her that I’m going to marry Kinsley someday. But my mom already has me going away to college where I’ll meet some bitchy girl with a trust fund as big as my own. We’ll fall in love and have two kids, a dog, and a white picket fence around our perfect home.

And that sounds like complete and total hell.

I’m tired of being pressured to be someone I don’t want to be. My future won’t be spent at country clubs or fancy parties with horse owners. I like having Dawn to Dark, but even she’s not how I envision my future.

All I see is Kinsley and our baby.

THE DRIVE TO the cabin has me completely nauseous. We waited until Carson and Becca had finished their Thanksgiving meals with their families before we loaded up two cars with everything we’ll need for our own Thanksgiving at the cabin.

Carson leads the way, weaving his way through the last couple miles of the trip. I grip the arm rest, praying I don’t get sick all over his Jeep. “Are we almost there?”

“Yeah, it’s just up around the bend.”

It’s already dark outside, and I can’t see two feet in front of us let alone around the bend. I don’t know why, but morning and night seem to be when I feel the worst. The couple hours in the middle of the day are the only thing that make this pregnancy manageable so far.

“We’re here, Kins.” I open my eyes, clawing the door for the handle. “That bad, huh?”

“The worst.”

Once all the bags are inside, Carson points to the bedroom and tells us all to pick one. Of course Becca follows Wyatt, as they’ll be sharing a room. Kate gets the master, and even though there’s two rooms left, Carson follows me into mine.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” he asks, with his bag slung over his shoulder.

“That’s not a good idea. Wyatt will flip out.” I have no problem using my brother as an excuse. Truth is, Rhett would flip out, and I don’t want to hurt him anymore than I already have. I’ll have to tell him about the kiss we shared at some point—and I’m already dreading it.

Carson sighs, obviously unable to disagree with me. Unless he has a death wish, it’s time for him to go to his own room. “Do you need anything before I go to bed?”

“No.”

“Why are you so quiet? You barely said two words on the drive here.”

“I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.” He saw me talking to Rhett outside the diner yesterday–he has to know my head’s still mixed up in that conversation. Rhett’s been on my mind ever since I walked away.

God, I miss him. Knowing I could have been at his uncle’s cabin instead, makes this trip that much harder.

“You’re sure you’re okay?”

“I’m good.”

He steps closer to me, and my body tenses before he even touches me. “Sweet dreams, Kins,” he says, as he hugs me tightly.

“Night,” I whisper against his chest, my arms still hanging lifelessly by my sides. Each time Carson touches me, I feel less and less in return. I shouldn’t have ever led him on the night I asked him to hold me. He took my need for comfort as more than it was—and I was feeling so low, I never bothered to correct him.

He gives me one last glance before pulling the door closed behind him. I sigh with relief, before climbing into my bed. The blanket’s a little scratchy, and the pillow a little lumpy, but I’m thankful for the peace and quiet. Tomorrow will be another full day of family time, and if I want to survive it, I’ll need some sleep.

Closing my eyes, I think about Fall Fest, and how perfect it was. What it felt like when Rhett touched me, and how much I wanted him. But most importantly, how protected he made me feel—like he would never let anything hurt me.

Recreating our night is the only way I can fall asleep.

Around three in the morning, I wake up to go to the bathroom. I use the light from my phone to light up the hallway and notice it’s blinking with a message. I slide my finger across the screen and my stomach does a little somersault when I see Rhett left me a message. Only it’s not one, it’s three—and he’s worried.

Rhett: Are you at the cabin?

Rhett: Let me know you’re okay.

Rhett: Talk to me.

I feel bad I never thought to text him, letting him know we got here safely. There’s no way he’s still awake, but I type out a message anyway. At least he’ll see it when he wakes up.

Kinsley: I’m okay. Sorry. I fell asleep.

I set the phone on the counter, but it vibrates with a return message right away.

Rhett: I’ve been freaking out.

Quickly, I use the bathroom, before hurrying into my room and dialing his number. It barely rings one full time before he picks up. “Sunny?”

“Hey, um, I guess I wanted to call you so you knew I was okay.”

“You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. My head’s been like a horror movie, coming up with all kinds of shit of what could have happened to you.”

“The ride made me sick, so once we got here, I went right to bed. I just woke up to pee.”

He laughs, and I realize I could have left that last part out. “You should go back to sleep. It’s still pretty early.”

“And you should go to bed.”

“Yeah, now that you’re safe I can.”

“Rhett,” I pause for a second, wanting to ask him something, but not sure I have the right considering we’re not what we used to be.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I’ve been having trouble falling asleep lately.”

“Close your eyes,” he says, in a soft, comforting voice. “I’ll stay on the line until you’re asleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. My girls need some sleep.”

More flutters hit me from head to toe. “Night, Rhett.”

“Night, my Sunny-girl.”

I have no idea how long he stayed on the line, but the call is no longer connected when I wake up a couple hours later. I even check my call log to make sure it wasn’t all a dream, and I’m relieved when I see his text and his name.

My stomach growls so strongly it’s painful, so I slide out of my itchy bed in search of some breakfast. Carson’s the only one awake, and he’s standing in front of the toaster with a butter knife in his hand.

He doesn’t even have to turn around to know it’s me behind him. “Morning. Sleep okay?”

“Um, yeah. I woke up once, but I got back to sleep.”

He sets a plate of toast in front of me, and a glass of juice. “I heard you get up.”

“Oh, did I wake you up?”

He shakes his head. “No, but I couldn’t seem to get back to sleep. Been working on the puzzle ever since.”

I glance at the other end of the sprawling antique table, and he has puzzle pieces all over the place. The frame is loosely built with a few pieces to connect it all together, still missing.

“Do you want to go out for a little while? Maybe take the four wheelers for a drive?”

“I don’t know how to drive one of those things.”

“You can ride on mine. I won’t go fast.”

It actually sounds kind of fun, and I don’t want him to think I’m not grateful for the offer. He’s always trying to make me happy, and I should probably make the most of this little getaway since I’m here. “Sure, sounds like fun.”

He smiles and sets some scrambled eggs on the table. “Eat up,” he says.

I narrow my eyes, and he laughs. “When were you planning on telling me you knew how to cook something other than toast? All this time I’ve been making food for you so you wouldn’t starve.”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe I liked you taking care of me.”

“Maybe,” I whisper. I concentrate on my food, hoping the awkwardness between the two us will disappear. I would do almost anything to get our friendship back to the way it was before he kissed me. Ever since, it’s been weird, and I don’t have the heart to tell him I can’t be with him. Even if I have to.

“Meet me out back when you’re finished. There’s someplace I want to show you. Wear something warm.”

After I finish my breakfast, I take a quick shower and throw my hair into a lazy ponytail. I dress in a warm sweater, my coat, and jeans. These are the last pair I can actually get on and still breathe. They were my period jeans, as Becca called them—the ones you buy a size or two bigger for days you’re super bloated. Now, they’ve become my everyday staple.

“Who’s all coming?” I ask Carson, as he pulls his four wheeler out of the shed. He hands me a helmet, and I put it on, clipping it under my chin.

“It’s just me and you. Wyatt’s taking Becca to some wine tasting thing. Kate was going to tag along with them. I figured since you couldn’t drink, I’d find something for us to do.”

“Becca’s not even twenty-one. How can she go?”

“It’s a little vineyard. Wyatt plays football with the owner’s son. So, he invited them to stop by.”

I guess when they wanted to spend more time together as a family, it didn’t include me. They could have at least invited me. I would have been okay watching.

“Are you mad?”

“It’s whatever . . .”

Carson stands in front of me, holding my face in his hands. “It’s not whatever. If you’re upset, say so.”

“I’m pissed my own brother still hasn’t spoken to me. And I’m pissed I was forced to come all the way here, and they don’t even want to spend time with me. So, yeah. I guess I’m just pissed.”

He leans forward and kisses the tip of my nose. “You’re pretty damn cute when you’re pissed, Kins.”

Right now would be the perfect opportunity to tell him I’m not comfortable with him kissing me, not when I’m pregnant with someone else’s baby, but again, I chicken out. It’s not in my DNA to hurt feelings. “Can we go now?”

“Sure, come on. I’m taking you about a mile from here. There’s this really cool bluff that leads to a waterfall. It’s not huge or anything, but it’s pretty cool. I think you’ll like it.”

I stare at the four wheeler, wondering where he wants me to sit. “What do I do?”

He chuckles, hopping on first. “Grab onto my shoulders, and pretend you’re getting on a horse.”

“Sounds easy enough.” Once I’m on, Carson reaches behind me, and wraps my arms around his stomach. “Hold on tight, and don’t let go. Even if we’re not going very fast, okay?”

“Okay.” I don’t tell him, but I’m actually pretty scared about being on the back of this thing, but he would never put me in danger, so I trust him to get us where we’re going in one piece.

He keeps his promise, and doesn’t go very fast. As he points out places he’s been hunting since he was a kid, we see two deer near his tree stand. He shows me where he shot his first deer, and a couple minutes later, he pulls up next to a rocky cliff. After he helps me off the four wheeler, I peel my helmet off my head.

“We can walk around the back side. There’s a little trail over there.”

“Thank goodness, I thought we were going to expect me to scale this thing.”

“We’ll save the real adventures for after you have the baby.”

The way he hints at the possibility of a long-term relationship, only makes me feel guiltier for spending time with him. Rhett’s the one I should be with today—at his uncle’s cabin. I didn’t even get to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving yesterday, but falling asleep with him only a phone call away, makes me smile. Even through the rough parts, he’s willing to help me.

I follow Carson and he reaches for my hand, helping me slide between some trees. The leaves on the ground are a couple inches thick, and mixed with the rain we’ve been getting, it’s slippery. But he gets us to where he wants to go, safely.

“We can sit here.” He points to a large rock with a flat surface that looks like it’s been placed here on purpose.

“It’s really pretty out here.”

He looks around at the trees and all their changing leaves. “It’s one of my favorite places to be. Ever since I was a kid.”

“It’s really special.”

“We’re you ever going to tell me?” he questions, out of the blue.

I assume he’s talking about the pregnancy, so I answer him honestly. “I probably wouldn’t have told you yet. Rhett was set on keeping it between us until we figured out what to do.”

He nods his head. “Good to know, but I meant about last night.”

“Last night?”

“I came to check on you when I heard you get up. I heard you talking to someone, and there’s only one person you would talk to that late.”

“I didn’t realize you were awake.”

He stares off into the distance as he says, “I came into your room, and you were asleep. I saw your phone resting on your face, and pulled it off. When I did, I saw he was still on the line.”

“Did you hang up?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you say anything?”

“Yeah.”

“Why would you do that? You have no right coming into my room and messing with my stuff. What did you say to him?”

“That we were going to sleep—and that I’d make sure you were taken care of from now on.”

I gasp, covering my mouth with my hand. “Please, tell me you’re lying.”

“Why does it matter? You broke up with him. You said you couldn’t be with him.”

“I’m having his baby. His child!”

“I told you I’ll take care of you. You don’t need him anymore, Kins.”

I rip my phone out of my pocket, trying to dial Rhett’s number, but there’s no reception. I hold the phone in the air, spinning in a circle to get it to work—but there’s still nothing. “I have to call him.”

I hurry back the way we came, slipping a couple times, but managing to make it back to the top on my own. I check my phone again, but there’s no service. “Take me back. Now.”

“Kinsley, you’re making this a bigger deal than it is. It was late.”

I spin around to face him. “No, Carson! You’re rubbing it in his face. Nothing about what you did is okay.”

“Just, calm down. Talk to me, Kins. I love you so much.”

“Carson, no.”

“Baby, this is our chance. We can finally be together.”

I look him straight in the eye, and never second guessing it, I tell him the truth. “I love Rhett. He’s the one I want to be with.”

Carson runs his hands over his face, growling with frustration. He throws his hands up in the air, and starts walking in the opposite direction. Where to, I have no idea.

“Carson, if you don’t take me back, I’ll do it myself!” My threat doesn’t faze him. He just shakes his head and keeps walking.

I straddle the ATV like I did the first time, and turn the key in the ignition. I haven’t actually driven one on my own, but it can’t be that much different than the motorcycle my dad used to have. I get it started, only it’s a lot more powerful than I anticipate. I lurch forward a couple times before I get it going.

“Kinsley! No!”

I hear Carson, but I don’t stop. He didn’t stop for me. I press the pedal all the way down and gun it back to the cabin. The last thing I remember is hearing Carson’s voice in my ear, telling me to hold on.

I never figured out what I was supposed to be holding onto before the daylight was replaced with darkness.