Текст книги "In Pieces"

Автор книги: Gia Riley

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

“KINSLEY,” WAKE UP.

I open my eyes, and Carson’s staring back at me. Not even realizing I slept right through my alarm, I glance at my clock, shocked to see I slept twelve hours straight. “Shit, thanks for waking me.”

“You’re pretty late for school. Are you sick?”

I sit up, wiping the sleep from my eyes. “No, just tired.”

“You’ve been working too much. Why don’t you take some time off, I’ve barely seen you since Fall Fest and that was a month ago.”

Carson’s right. We haven’t had any of our usual couch conversations. We haven’t hung out at all really. With the holiday’s right around the corner, I’ve been working extra shifts at the diner to be able to afford presents. When I’m not at work, I’m usually with Rhett. I don’t even know what’s going on in my own sister’s life anymore. If she’s awake, I’m at school. When she’s at work, I’m home.

I slide out from under my warm blankets, shivering as soon as my feet hit the floor. “You’ve been back and forth to see Stacy a lot. You haven’t been home much either.” I don’t say it because I’m jealous, I say it because I don’t want him trying to make me feel guilty for spending my free time with Rhett instead of him.

“I go to the campus to see Wyatt, Kins.”

“Oh come on, you see her, too.”

“It’s hard not to. She’s practically his neighbor, but it’s not a big deal.”

Stacy bothers me, but it doesn’t bother me that they’re seeing each other—even if he swears it’s just casual fun and nothing official. “You can do way better than her, you know.” He stares at me, and I grab my towel off the back of my desk chair, holding it tightly against my chest.

“I know I can, but she hasn’t come to her senses yet. There’s breakfast on the table when you’re finished.” He turns and walks out of my room, leaving my head spinning.

I shuffle into the bathroom, praying my headache and cramps are for a reason, but I’m not that lucky—I’m still late. My mind wants to panic, but I try to block out the possibility of being pregnant and focus on getting out of this house.

By the time I get to school, I already missed first period. I wait for Rhett outside our photography class, and when he sees me, he smiles, instantly making me forget about my possible problem. “You need to stop being late. That class isn’t as fun without you.”

He kisses me, and I wrap my arms around his waist, soaking up his warmth. “I’d still be sleeping if Carson hadn’t woken me up.”

Rubbing my back he says, “I hate that he got to see you before me, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“I guess I’ll see you at lunch.” I make no attempt to move or to unwrap my arms from Rhett’s body.

He chuckles and kisses the top of my head. “Are you planning on letting go of me, Sunny?”

“No. I’m good.”

He peels me off his body anyway, and turns around so I’m staring at his back. “Hop on.”

“You can’t be serious. We’ll get in trouble.”

“Says the girl who’s holding a tardy slip. Just get on me.”

I hop up and wrap my legs around him. He takes off, running down the hallway, weaving in and out of bodies that are all staring at us like we’ve lost our minds. If I wasn’t awake before, I am now. “Rhett, slow down!”

He doesn’t. Not until we’re in front of the locker room where he places me back on my feet again. “I gotta run, but I love you.”

Shaking my head, I laugh as he runs back the way we came, high fiving Jake on his way. “I love you, too,” I murmur to myself.

I change into my gym uniform and wait for Becca on the bench next to our gym lockers, but when the bell rings, and she’s still not there, I reluctantly go into the gym without her. The only reason I survive this class is because she’s in it. She wasn’t joking when she said Wyatt was the athlete of the family.

We’re running our boring warm-up laps around the perimeter of the gym when I start to feel like I’m going to throw up. Running isn’t my thing, especially when I’ve only been awake for forty-five minutes.

“Okay everyone, grab a stick. We’re going to play some indoor hockey,” Mrs. Haines, the gym teacher on a permanent caffeine high, announces.

I pull a stick out of the box and stand back, letting the other girls move ahead of me. Some are actually excited to knock a hard plastic ball around the gym. Me, not so much. It only gets worse once we move into positions and Mandi ends up lined up across from me.

The whistle blows and she charges at me like we’re playing a game of football instead of hockey. “What is your problem?”

“I’m just playing defense.”

“Your team has the ball, back up.”

She listens and puts some space in between the two of us, but she takes a pass from her teammate, and then, like it’s in slow motion, she winds up and swings her stick with all of her might, sending the ball flying directly at me.

I fall to the floor, and my stick hits the ground as hard as I do. Immediately, I know something’s wrong. I try to peel my body off the floor, but it hurts too much. “I’m going to throw up,” I say to whoever’s close enough to hear it. Before the trash can gets to me, I heave all over the floor in front of everyone.

Mrs. Haines blows her whistle, backing everyone up. “Mandi, you’re out of the game. Sierra, tell the nurse we need her. Hurry up.”

Sierra, like a deer in headlights, runs through the doors, and into the hallway. She’s back in a couple minutes with Nurse Cathy by her side. She gives me a once over before she moves me into the wheelchair she brought with her. Everyone’s staring, which I hate, but I let her wheel me to her office, too weak to go on my own two feet. I’m trying too hard not to throw up again to really care who sees me.

She opens the small room all the sick kids rest in until their parents pick them up, and wheels me next to a cot. “Lie down for me, Kinsley.”

I listen to her, as she runs through a series of questions. I answer them all honestly, even the one about how I was feeling before I came to school. She listens to every word I say, and I think nothing of it. That is, until her next question. “When was your last menstrual period?”

I sit up, not wanting to discuss this with her. “I’m fine.”

“We need to discuss this if there’s a possibility you could be pregnant. Is this something we need to consider?”

“I’m not talking about any of this at school. You’re not my doctor.” She can’t force me to do anything. “Can I get my stuff from the locker room? I want to go home.”

She nods her head. “Will you take this for me at home, and let me know the results.”

I take the pregnancy test out of her hand, and stare at it. I’m not walking around school holding a test. Like she can read minds, she hands me a paper bag. “You’re not going to tell anybody anything, are you?”

“I can’t by law, but if you are pregnant, Kinsley, you need to get to the doctor. Go home and take the test. You’ll want to open it, and—.”

I hold up my hand before she can go any farther. Even talking about it makes me want to throw up again. “I’ll read the directions and take the test.”

She lets me leave, but I have to stop in the bathroom to throw up again. It’s only when my face is close to a disgusting public toilet that I realize the nurse is right, I need to see my doctor because I’m almost positive this test is going to be positive.

I haven’t had a panic attack since the football game, but right now, one’s threatening to grip me by the throat, making it almost impossible to catch my breath. Why is this happening to me? Rhett’s always been careful—at least I think he has.

As I peel myself off the bathroom floor, all I can think about is how disappointed my mom would be. Kate’s going to kill me. Wyatt’s going to hate me. But Rhett—he’ll leave me, and that’s what scares me the most right now.

An hour later, I’m sitting in the doctor’s office with a tiny plastic cup in my hand. The test I took at home was positive—just like I knew it would be. I’m not ready to be a mother. This was all an accident—a really big accident that’s going to cause a ton of trouble if this second test ends up positive, too.

And it does.

Now I’m listening to Dr. Royer’s go on and on about my options while I’m still trying to process the fact that I’m pregnant. I can’t be more than a couple weeks along, but the second he mentions termination, I already know it’s not an option. We learned about what happens in health class, and there’s no way I want to go through any of that. “I don’t want an abortion.”

Nurse Kimberly nods her head, and Dr. Royer, continues to type on the laptop she carries around with her from room to room. “What are you typing?” I ask her, when curiosity gets the best of me.

“Everything we’re discussing. It makes dictating easier for me.”

“Who looks at it?” I’m already trying to figure out if it’s going to get back to Kate, who was my legal-guardian, up until my eighteenth birthday this past summer.

“It all goes into your medical records account.”

“Oh, okay.”

Another woman walks into my room, pulling a cart with a machine on it. She gives me a hesitant smile, like I’m a fool for getting knocked up at such a young age—like I purposely tried to make a baby with my boyfriend.

“My name’s Tammy, I’m going to do your ultrasound for you.”

“Why do I need an ultrasound?”

Dr. Royer looks up from her computer long enough to answer my question. “It’s protocol, especially for someone who was hit in the stomach.”

All this time I’ve been freaking out, I never once considered that when the ball pounded into my stomach, it could have hurt the baby. I’m too scared to find out the answer, so I don’t even bothering asking if they think the baby’s injured. I’ll know soon enough.

Nurse Kimberly helps me lie on the table, and holds my hand once I’m in position. She’s only known me less than an hour, and still, it’s comforting having her by my side. I’m glad I’m not going through this alone.

“You can watch the screen, and once I have the probe in place, you’ll notice some movement.”

The screen’s black and white, and suddenly, it sounds like I’m in the middle of the ocean. One summer at the beach, I held a giant seashell to my ear in a souvenir shop. It’s the same kind of whooshing sound I heard then. “What is that?”

Kimberly smiles, looking down at me. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat. One of the best sounds in the entire world.” She points to the blob on the screen that’s wiggling around. It looks like a gummy bear—a hyper one. “And that right there is your baby.”

I sit up a little bit, propping myself on my elbows while keeping the rest of my body exactly how it was. Staring at the screen, it doesn’t seem like I’m looking at something inside my own body—that I have a tiny person inside me. “Do you know what it is?”

Tammy shakes her head. “No, it’s too early. We’ll be able to tell around twenty weeks. You’re measuring between five and six weeks today.”

I do the math in my head. Fall Fest was six weeks ago. That means Rhett and I made a baby one of our first times together. “You’re not going to tell anyone about this are you? I can tell them?”

“This baby is your responsibility now, Kinsley. We respect your privacy as our patient, and we’ll send you home with everything you need to begin a healthy pregnancy.”

I rest my head against the exam table, wondering how I’m ever going to break the news to my sister. I never meant for this to happen, but now that it has, I’m afraid I’m going to lose everyone I love.

I should tell Rhett first, but I don’t know how. What if he breaks up with me?

As soon as the test is finished, I take my papers, and practically run out of the office into the cold November air. It all hits me at once, the baby, losing my friends and family, how disappointed my parents would be—and all I can do is sit on the bench and cry.

The playground across the street is filled with kids, and suddenly elementary school doesn’t seem that long ago. I feel closer to a bunch of kids than the adults I was just with. I’m practically a kid having a kid—it only makes me cry harder.

I cry for every dream I’m going to have to give up, every person I’m about to disappoint, and a baby who never asked to be brought into the world. A baby I don’t want to have, yet somehow already care about—even if it has the power to destroy me.

“WHERE’S KINSLEY?” JAKE asks when we sit down to lunch.

“I don’t know. She disappeared after gym.”

Mandi, who still insists on sitting at the end of our table, glances at me, and then ducks her head. She’s been acting weird since she sat down.

Grayson slams his tray on the table, sitting next to Mandi. “What the hell happened in gym this morning, slugger?”

For the first time ever, Mandi’s almost speechless. “It was an accident,” she whispers.

“That’s not what I heard. Rumor has it you made the slap shot of the century and knocked Kinsley on her ass.”

I throw my sandwich down on my tray. “What?”

“Yeah, man. It’s all over the school. Your girl threw up on the free throw line. How do you not know this?”

I spent last period in the wood shop, grinding the shit out of wood. I pull out my cell phone and dial her number, but it goes straight to voicemail. A text goes unanswered, and now I’m freaking the hell out. “Did she go home, Mandi?”

“I think so. She was throwing up.”

I run my hands through my hair, “Jesus, what did you do to her?”

“Nothing! It was an accident.”

Accident or not, it still happened. And I know better than to believe she didn’t do it on purpose. Everything with that girl does is calculated and planned—to her advantage. Regardless of what she had planned, I try messaging Kinsley a couple more times, but there’s still no answer.

I have no choice but to sit and wait.

Each period that passes, the clock moves a little slower. By the time the final bell rings, I skip my locker entirely, not even caring if I have the books I need to do my homework. Now that football is over, I can actually leave school on time which means I’m in her driveway in six minutes flat.

I run up the stairs to her apartment, and knock. Nobody answers, but her car’s parked right next to mine. I turn the knob and push the door open. “Kinsley?”

The house is quiet. Her bedroom door is cracked, so I push it open, trying my best not to scare her. She’s in her bed with her blankets covering her, but I can hear her crying. “Sunny, what’s wrong?”

She sits up, no doubt shocked to see me standing in the middle of her bedroom. “You didn’t expect me to stay away, did you?”

She shakes her head, and lays back down. “I was going to call you back in a few minutes.”

“How long have you been home?”

“About twenty minutes.”

“Where’d you go after gym class?”

“The doctor’s office.”

“Grayson told me what happened at lunch. What did the doctor say? Are you okay?”

She doesn’t answer me, so I take my shoes and coat off, and kneel on the floor beside her bed. Reaching out, I hold her cheek in my hand, running my thumb back and forth across her skin. “I missed you,” I tell her, hoping she says something. Right now, she’s scaring me a little.

“I missed you too,” she says, nervously.

“What’s wrong, Sunny?”

She bites her lip, tears forming in her eyes again. “Rhett, I don’t know how to tell you this.”

“You can tell me anything. Just talk to me. I’ll make whatever’s bothering you go away.”

She closes her eyes just as the first tear falls. “You can’t make it better this time.”

“Why not?”

“Because—because I’m pregnant, Rhett.”

Her words literally knock me on my ass. I hit the carpet and fall flat on my back, staring at the ceiling. She cries harder, and I realize my reaction wasn’t the best, but she just told me I’m going to have a kid. A fucking kid. “You’re sure?” I ask from my spot on the floor.

“I took a test.”

“Could it be wrong?”

“No, I had an ultrasound after the test.”

I get off the floor. Still a little dazed. “You saw it?”

“I heard the heartbeat, too.”

No wonder she’s crying. She’s had a long ass day. “What did it look like?” It’s a stupid thing to say, it’s a damn baby, but I don’t know what else to say to her. I’m probably supposed to have all kinds of questions.

“Like a dancing gummy bear.”

“Seriously?” She slides her hand under her pillow, and pulls out a little black and white picture. “Is that?” I can’t even say it out loud. Our baby.

“I don’t know what it is yet, but they’ll tell me when she’s bigger.”

I stare at the picture in my hands, amazed that we created something—a little gummy person. She’s right, it looks exactly like a bear. “You said, she. Do you think it’s a girl?”

“Did I? I guess I always pictured myself having a little girl someday. Not now, though.”

“What do you mean, not now? It’s already done, Sunny.”

“I know that,” she snaps.

“Sorry, I just.”

“I’m scared out of my mind, and I know it’s going to ruin our lives, but I can’t,” she sobs.

“Shhh, it’s okay, Kinsley. It’s not going to ruin our lives—I won’t let that happen. We’ll figure it out.” I don’t have a single clue how we’re going to figure it out, but I tell her anyway, because I’m the one who did this to her. I just want to protect her. “Until I figure out what to do, we can keep it between the two of us.”

“I have to tell Kate. I can’t go through this without her.”

“Just for now, just until I figure out what we’re going to do, I want you to keep this a secret. Can you do that for me? I need you to promise me, Sunny.” If my parents find out, we won’t stand a chance. They’ll rip Kinsley and the baby away from me.

“What’s to figure out? In seven and a half months, I’m having a baby.”

“We have college next year. We’re graduating in seven months. There’s a lot to consider.”

She sits up on the edge of her bed, protectively wrapping her arms around our baby, her chin quivering. “So, a couple weeks after we graduate, I’ll have a baby. I might not even make it to graduation, Rhett.”

“We’ll have a baby.” Still on my knees, I move between her legs. I wrap my arms around her back, while her hands instinctively comb through my hair. I kiss her still flat stomach picturing what it will look like a couple months from now. Never in a million years did I imagine this would happen, I mean, we’re having sex, but we’ve been pretty careful.

“I’m scared, Rhett,” she whispers.

I pull my head away from her stomach, looking into her teary eyes. “Sunny, I don’t know what we’re going to do yet, but I’m going to do everything I can to keep us together—no matter what.” She’s quiet, but I need her to believe in us. “Tell me you trust me, Sunny.”

“I trust you.”

IT’S BEEN A week since I found out I’m pregnant. Each night, I stay up beyond the point of exhaustion, trying to wrap my head around the idea of becoming a mom. An actual mom with a baby of my own. No matter how many times I run different scenarios through my mind, I can’t make any situation work. Rhett and I don’t have a place to live, or enough money to survive without the both of us working full-time jobs, yet we don’t have diplomas to get decent jobs in the first place.

My interview with Parsons is coming up, which only depresses me more. There’s no way I can still go to New York. It was going to be a struggle to support myself in the City. Adding a baby to the mix would be next to impossible. Still, I don’t have the nerve to call and cancel the appointment—not yet anyway.

“Are you okay? You’ve been quiet today.” Rhett asks, as we leave school for the day.

“Just thinking, sorry.” I haven’t told him I haven’t cancelled yet. I guess a part of me is still hoping I can make it work—even if I already know there’s no way I could split up my family. Not having one of my own is all the more reason that this baby should have both parents.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Sunny. I get it.”

“I hate being a problem.”

Rhett stops walking in the middle of the sidewalk, turning me to face him. “You’re not a problem. I don’t want you thinking like that.”

“Everything’s different though. You’re not the same, I’m not the same. All I do is throw up and cry. I kind of can’t stand myself.”

We start walking again, and when we get to my car, Rhett opens my door and tosses my bag in the passenger seat. He even helps me get inside like I’m nine months pregnant instead of two.

He kneels down beside me, reaching for my hand as soon as my seatbelt clicks into place. “Are you okay to drive? I can take you home.” He slides his fingers underneath the seatbelt, making sure it’s not too tight on my stomach.

“I’m fine—still feel nauseous, but it doesn’t really go away. At least there’s plenty of crackers and a never ending supply of ginger ale at the diner.”

Rhett sighs, and runs his hand through his hair. It’s what he does when he doesn’t like what I’m saying. Trust me, I’d rather go home and sleep, but I have to make as much money as I can before this baby comes. Especially considering I might be on my own, sooner rather than later, if Kate decides she’s ready to move to Philadelphia. Her own relationship has been strained and I see how much she misses her boyfriend. I hate that she’s stuck because of me.

“I’ll stop in and see you. At least if I’m sitting at one of your tables, it’s one less person for you to wait on.”

I reach out and run my thumb along Rhett’s cheek, wondering how I got so lucky to get this guy, and so unlucky to get pregnant. In the back of my mind I always knew getting pregnant was a possibility, yet I never imagined it would happen to me. It’s stupid to be so naïve, but I thought I had been through enough already. There was no way I’d have to deal with a baby on top of everything else. Or so I thought. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I need the money—this baby is going to be expensive.”

So much for going balls to the walls this year. I’m back in parent mode—right where I started. Maybe this is the person I was meant to be all along instead of trying to be someone I’m not. The real Kinsley West is responsible, hard-working, and determined. I need to find her again.

“Don’t worry about money, okay? I’m going over to the club. There are a couple positions there I think I can get. If I can’t, I’ll toss around my dad’s name until someone caves.”

“Did you forget you’re the Rhett Taylor? They’ll want you working for them.”

“Do you want me?” He asks, quickly.

I stare at him a second, trying to figure out where he’s going with this, but I don’t have a clue. “Of course I do.”

“That’s all that matters to me, Sunny. We’re going to get judged once everyone finds out, but I like the idea of just you, me and the baby. I want to stay like this for as long as we can.”

“I do, too, but I feel like everyone’s been staring at my stomach all day. Do I look different?”

“No, you look perfect. They don’t know anything. It just seems like they’re watching you because we’re protecting our secret.”

“I need to tell my sister the truth, Rhett. I can’t wait much longer. If she finds out from anyone but me, it will only make it worse for us.”

Rhett looks over his shoulder, making sure nobody can hear our conversation. That’s all we need, for someone like Mandi to hear about it. It would be all over school faster than I can blink. “We shouldn’t be talking about this here.”

“I know. I have to get going anyway.”

Rhett leans in for one more kiss before closing my door and resting his palm against the glass of my window. I match my palm up with his before reversing out of the parking space, and heading home.

The drive’s short, but by the time I get there, I already feel sick again. Hurrying up the stairs, I sigh in relief when I don’t have to stop to unlock the front door. I’m not sure I could have made it to the bathroom had I stopped.

My backpack falls to the cool tile floor, as I heave into the toilet. My ribs ache, and my headache returns instantly. I’ve never been so sick in my life. Even the flu has never been this bad. At least that comes in with a vengeance and goes away. This has the potential to linger for seven more months.

When there’s nothing left inside me, I flush the toilet, and use the sink for support as I try to stand up. I brush my teeth again, and splash cool water on my face. I’m exhausted.

I reach for the door but it opens on its own. Carson sticks his head inside. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I must have eaten something bad at lunch. Haven’t felt right all afternoon.” I expect him to buy my lie, but I’m still so nervous, I can’t even look him in the eye. This is what my life's turned into—one lie after another.

I move to leave the bathroom, but he blocks the doorway, not letting me through. He stares at me, his eyes raking over every inch of my body. “Tell me the truth, Kins.”

Instantly, I panic. He knows. But how? “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m going to be late for work if you don’t move.”

“Then you’re going to be late because I’m not moving.”

“Carson, please. Betty is expecting me.”

“Tell me,” he pleads. “Just say the words.”

I push on his chest, begging him to move, but he only grabs my wrists and holds them so I can’t get away. “Stop it. Leave me alone!”

“Kinsley, I know. I found the box when I was taking out the trash.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie to me, Kins.”

Tears prick my eyes, and no matter how hard I try to keep them inside of me, I can’t. “Let go of me.”

“It’s true. Isn’t it? You’re really pregnant.”

“Yes,” I whisper. As soon as he comprehends what I’m saying, he lets go of my wrist, and drops his head in defeat. He rests his head against the doorframe, and it’s clear how disappointed he is in me. But what he feels is nothing compared to the way I feel about myself.

“How could you let him touch you? Did you really think it would last? That he’s going to blow off college to stay home and take care of you?”

Each word out of his mouth stings more than the last. I want to scream at him, but I can’t. Not when there’s a good chance everything he’s saying is the truth. Rhett loves me, but he might love his future more. “Please, stop.”

He doesn’t. He only drills his point home harder, wrecking me completely. “Does Kate know? Wyatt’s going to lose his fucking mind. You realize this, right?”

“You can’t tell anyone, Carson. Please. Not yet.”

“I’ve waited an entire week for you to tell me about this. I’ve heard you throwing up, but I was praying like hell it was a virus and not because of a damn baby. You’re in so much trouble, but you don’t seem like you care.”

“I get it. I’m worried every single second of every single day. It’s all I think about.”

“How could you let this happen, Kins? How?”

“It was an accident. I didn’t ask for this to happen, Carson. I didn’t!”

“You messed up the second you let him touch you. You’ve been more worried about keeping Rhett Taylor happy than staying true to yourself. But let me tell you one thing, the thrill is over. He doesn’t want a kid or a needy girlfriend. He wants to go away to school and do whatever the hell he wants with whoever he thinks looks good that night.”

That’s not how Rhett operates. I know better, but hearing it from a guy who’s already in college scares me. “Shut up! You have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t know what we have.”

“I know enough to know he’s going to run like hell the first chance he gets. He’s not going to take care of you the way I would have.”

And here we go again, more jealously. I thought we moved on from this, but apparently, we’ve been running in circles. “This isn’t about you, Carson.”

“You’re right, because everything always revolves around you. Everyone makes sacrifices for you while you do whatever you want. For someone with next to nothing you have a real sense of entitlement, Kins.”

I can’t believe he’s turning on me like this. He’s always been my friend—the guy I would turn to when I was down or needed someone to cheer me up. More than anyone, he knows how much pain I’ve dealt with. I didn’t ask to lose my parents. I didn’t ask to have my life ripped away from me, and I most definitely didn’t ask to be pregnant. “You moved in here on your own. Kate stayed here to take care of me because she wanted to. Not once have I asked for a single favor or thing from either of you. I can take care of myself.”

“You keep telling yourself that, Princess. I’m done. I’m done giving a shit about protecting you.” Carson storms off to his room, and throws his suitcase on the bed. He grabs handfuls of clothes out of his drawers and shoves them inside in a heap. Each item he tosses in, he throws a little harder. “I came here for you!” he shouts.

I slither around the corner of the hallway, watching in horror as he destroys his room, shattering picture frames, and upending anything that’s not attached to a wall or the floor. He’s allowed to be mad, but he can’t move out. We can’t afford to stay here without him. “Please, don’t leave,” I beg. “We need you.”

“Maybe that’s the problem with this arrangement. You need me, but I don’t need you, Kinsley. I could be living in some bachelor pad bringing girls home any night of the week—like a typical twenty-year-old guy.”

That’s not Carson. He’s never been a player and he’s never used girls to fill empty space in his life. “You don’t mean that.” He stares at me before reaching for the book on his desk and chucking it with all his might. I scream, ducking my head before it hits the wall next to me. “Are you crazy?”

For a minute he looks remorseful, like he realizes he’s out of control and needs to rein it in, but it doesn’t last long. Once he sees I’m okay, the anger replaces any trace of remorse he may have had. The Carson I cared about has already moved out, and I’m not about to stay here and listen to this one rip me to shreds again.

I turn around and run to the bathroom, grabbing my bag off the floor and tossing it on my shoulder.

He’s struggling to catch his breath after his temper tantrum when he asks, “Where are you going?”

I don’t respond, I just keep moving. I’m in my car and pulling out of the driveway by the time I see him standing on the stairs outside the apartment, watching as I drive away.