Текст книги "Crime and Punishment"
Автор книги: Fyodor Dostoevsky
Соавторы: Fyodor Dostoevsky
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Текущая страница: 28 (всего у книги 44 страниц)
“Oh, don't bother, please,” Raskolnikov cried, and suddenly burst out laughing, “please don't bother!”
Porfiry stood in front of him, waited, and suddenly burst out laughing himself. Raskolnikov rose from the sofa, suddenly putting an abrupt stop to his completely hysterical laughter.
“Porfiry Petrovich!” he said loudly and distinctly, though he could barely stand on his trembling legs, “at last I see clearly that you do definitely suspect me of murdering that old woman and her sister Lizaveta. For my own part I declare to you that I have long been sick of it all. If you believe you have the right to prosecute me legally, then prosecute me; or to arrest me, then arrest me. But to torment me and laugh in my face, that I will not allow!”
His lips trembled all at once, his eyes lit up with fury, and his hitherto restrained voice rang out:
“I will not allow it, sir!” he suddenly shouted, banging his fist on the table with all his might. “Do you hear, Porfiry Petrovich? I will not allow it!”
“Ah, Lord, what's this now!” Porfiry Petrovich exclaimed, looking thoroughly frightened. “My good Rodion Romanovich! My heart and soul! My dearest! What's the matter!”
“I will not allow it!” Raskolnikov shouted once more.
“Not so loud, my dear! People will hear you, they'll come running! And what shall we tell them? Only think!” Porfiry Petrovich whispered in horror, bringing his face very close to Raskolnikov's face.
“I will not allow it, I will not allow it!” Raskolnikov repeated mechanically, but suddenly also in a complete whisper.
Porfiry quickly turned and ran to open the window.
“To let in some air, some fresh air! And do drink some water, my dear; this is a fit, sir!” And he rushed to the door to send for water, but there turned out to be a carafe of water right there in the corner.
“Drink, my dear,” he whispered, rushing to him with the carafe, “maybe it will help . . .” Porfiry Petrovich's alarm and his sympathy itself were so natural that Raskolnikov fell silent and began to stare at him with wild curiosity. He did not accept the water, however.
“Rodion Romanovich, my dear! but you'll drive yourself out of your mind this way, I assure you, a-ah! Do drink! A little sip, at least!”
He succeeded after all in making him take the glass of water in his hands. Raskolnikov mechanically brought it to his lips, but then, recollecting himself, set it on the table with loathing.
“Yes, sir, a fit, that's what we've just had, sir! Go on this way, my dear, and you'll have your former illness back,” Porfiry Petrovich began clucking in friendly sympathy, though he still looked somewhat at a loss. “Lord! How is it you take no care of yourself at all? Then, too, Dmitri Prokofych came to see me yesterday—I agree, I agree, I have a caustic nature, a nasty one, but look what he deduced from it! ... Lord! He came yesterday, after you, we were having dinner, he talked and talked, I just threw up my hands; well, I thought... ah, my Lord! Don't tell me you sent him! But sit down, my dear, do sit down, for Christ's sake!”
“No, I didn't send him. But I knew he went to you and why he went,” Raskolnikov replied sharply.
“You knew?”
“Yes. What of it?”
“Here's what, my dear Rodion Romanovich—that this is not all I know about your exploits; I've been informed of everything, sir! I know about how you went to rent the apartment,just at nightfall, when it was getting dark, and began ringing the bell and asking about blood, which left the workmen and caretakers perplexed. I quite understand what state you were in at the time...but even so, you'll simply drive yourself out of your mind this way, by God! You'll get yourself into a whirl! You're boiling too much with indignation, sir, with noble indignation, sir, at being wronged first by fate and then by the police, and so you rush here and there, trying, so to speak, to make everyone talk the sooner and thus put an end to it all at once, because you're sick of these stupidities and all these suspicions. Isn't that so? I've guessed your mood, haven't I?...Only this way it's not just yourself but also Razumikhin that you'll get into a whirl on me; because he's too kinda man for this, you know it yourself. You are ill, but he is a virtuous man, and so the illness is catching for him...I'll explain, my dear, when you're calmer...but do sit down, for Christ's sake! Please rest, you look awful; do sit down.”
Raskolnikov sat down; his trembling was going away and he was beginning to feel hot all over. In deep amazement, tensely, he listened to the alarmed and amiably solicitous Porfiry Petrovich. But he did not believe a word he said, though he felt some strange inclination to believe. Porfiry's unexpected words about the apartment thoroughly struck him. “So he knows about the apartment, but how?” suddenly crossed his mind. “And he tells it to me himself!”
“Yes, sir, we had a case almost exactly like that in our legal practice, a psychological case, a morbid one, sir,” Porfiry went on pattering. “There was a man who also slapped a murder on himself, sir, and how he did it! He came out with a whole hallucination, presented facts, described circumstances, confused and bewildered us one and all—and why? Quite unintentionally, he himself had been partly the cause of the murder, but only partly, and when he learned that he had given a pretext to the murderers, he became anguished, stupefied, began imagining things, went quite off his head, and convinced himself that he was the murderer! But the governing Senate finally examined the case and the unfortunate man was acquitted and put under proper care. Thanks to the governing Senate! Ah, well, tsk, tsk, tsk! So, what then, my dear? This way you may get yourself into a delirium, if you have such urges to irritate your nerves, going around at night ringing doorbells and asking about blood! I've studied all this psychology in practice, sir. Sometimes it can drive a man to jump out the window or off a bell-tower, and it's such a tempting sensation, sir. The same with doorbells, sir...An illness, Rodion Romanovich, an illness! You've been neglecting your illness too much, sir. You ought to get the advice of an experienced physician—what use is this fat fellow of yours! ... You're delirious! You're doing all this simply and solely in delirium! . . .”
For a moment everything started whirling around Raskolnikov.
“Can it be, can it be,” flashed in him, “that he's lying even now? Impossible, impossible!” He pushed the thought away from him, sensing beforehand to what degree of rage and fury it might lead him, sensing that he might lose his mind from rage.
“It was not in delirium, it was in reality!” he cried out, straining all the powers of his reason to penetrate Porfiry's game. “In reality, in reality! Do you hear?”
“Yes, I understand, and I hear, sir! Yesterday, too, you said it was not in delirium, you even especially stressed that it was not in delirium!
Everything you can say, I understand, sir! Ahh! ... But Rodion Romanovich, my good man, at least listen to the following circumstances. If you were indeed a criminal in reality, or somehow mixed up in this cursed case, well, for heaven's sake, would you yourself stress that you were doing it all not in delirium but, on the contrary, in full consciousness? And stress it especially, stress it with such special obstinacy—now, could that be, could it be, for heaven's sake? Quite the opposite, I should think. Because if there really was anything to it, you would be bound precisely to stress that it was certainly done in delirium! Right? Am I right?”
Something sly could be heard in the question. Raskolnikov drew all the way back on the sofa, away from Porfiry, who was leaning towards him, and stared at him silently, point-blank, in bewilderment.
“Or else, to do with Mr. Razumikhin—to do, that is, with whether he came to talk yesterday on his own or at your instigation—you ought precisely to have said that he came on his own, and to have concealed that it was at your instigation! But you're not concealing it! You precisely stress that it was at your instigation!”
Raskolnikov had done no such thing. A chill ran down his spine.
“You keep lying,” he said slowly and weakly, his lips twisted into a pained smile. “You want to show me again that you know my whole game, that you know all my answers beforehand,” he said, himself almost aware that he was no longer weighing his words as he should. “You want to bully me...or else you're simply laughing at me.”
He continued to stare at him point-blank as he said this, and suddenly a boundless anger again flashed in his eyes.
“You keep lying!” he cried out. “You know perfectly well that the criminal's best dodge is to conceal as little as possible of what need not be concealed. I don't believe you!”
“You're quite a dodger yourself!” Porfiry tittered. “There's just no getting along with you, my dear; you've got some monomania sitting in you. So you don't believe me? But I shall tell you that you do in fact believe me, you've already believed me for a foot, and I'm going to get you to believe me for a whole yard, because I'm genuinely fond of you and sincerely wish you well.”
Raskolnikov's lips trembled.
“Yes, I do, sir, and I'll tell you one last thing, sir,” he went on, taking Raskolnikov lightly and amiably by the arm, a little above the elbow, “I'll tell you one last thing, sir: watch out for your illness. Besides, your family has now come to you; give a thought to them. You ought to soothe them and pamper them, and all you do is frighten them . . .”
“What's that to you? How do you know it? Why are you so interested? It means you're spying on me and want me to see it?”
“But, my dear, I learned it all from you, from you yourself! You don't even notice that in your excitement you're the first one to tell everything, both to me and to others. I also learned many interesting details yesterday from Mr. Razumikhin, Dmitri Prokofych. No, sir, you interrupted me just now, but I shall tell you that, for all your wit, your insecurity has made you lose a sober view of things. Here's an example, on that same theme, to do with the doorbells: I let you have such a precious thing, such a fact (it is a complete fact, sir!), just like that, lock, stock, and barrel—I, an investigator! And you see nothing in it? But, if I had even the slightest suspicion of you, is that how I ought to have acted? On the contrary, I ought first to have lulled your suspicions, giving no sign that I was already informed of this fact; to have thus diverted you in the opposite direction; and then suddenly to have stunned you on the head as with an axe (to use your own expression): 'And what, sir, were you pleased to be doing in the murdered woman's apartment at ten o'clock in the evening, or even almost eleven? And why were you ringing the bell? And why did you ask about the blood? And why did you bewilder the caretakers and incite them to go to the police station, to the lieutenant of the precinct?' That's how I ought to have acted, if I had even the slightest suspicion of you. I ought to have taken your evidence in accordance with all the forms, made a search, and perhaps have arrested you as well. . . Since I have acted otherwise, it follows that I have no suspicions of you! But you've lost a sober view and don't see anything, I repeat, sir!”
Raskolnikov shuddered all over, so that Porfiry Petrovich noticed it only too clearly.
“You're lying still!” he cried. “I don't know what your purposes are, but you keep lying...You talked in a different sense a moment ago, and I'm surely not mistaken...You're lying!”
“Lying, am I?” Porfiry picked up, obviously excited, but preserving a most merry and mocking look, and seeming not in the least concerned with Mr. Raskolnikov's opinion of him. “Lying, am I?... Well, and how did I act with you just now (I, an investigator), prompting you and letting you in on all the means of defense, and coming out with all this psychology for you myself: 'Illness, delirium, you felt all offended; melancholy, policemen,' and all the rest of it? Eh? Heh, heh, heh! Though, by the way—incidentally speaking—all these psychological means of defense, these excuses and dodges, are quite untenable, and double-ended besides: 'Illness, delirium, dreams,' they say, 'I imagined it, I don't remember'—maybe so, but why is it, my dear, that in one's illness and delirium one imagines precisely these dreams, and not others? One might have had others, sir? Right? Heh, heh, heh, heh!”
Raskolnikov looked at him proudly and disdainfully.
“In short,” he said, loudly and insistently, getting up and pushing Porfiry a little aside, “in short, I want to know: do you acknowledge me to be finally free of suspicion, or not?Speak, Porfiry Petrovich, speak positively and finally, and right now, quickly!”
“What an assignment! Ah, you're a real assignment!” Porfiry exclaimed, with a perfectly merry, sly, and not in the least worried look. “But why do you want to know, why do you want to know so much, when we haven't even begun to bother you in the least! You're like a child: just let me touch the fire! And why do you worry so much? Why do you thrust yourself upon us, for what reason? Eh? Heh, heh, heh!”
“I repeat,” Raskolnikov cried furiously, “that I can no longer endure...”
“What, sir? The uncertainty?” Porfiry interrupted.
“Don't taunt me! I won't have it! ... I tell you, I won't have it! ... I cannot and I will not have it! . .. Do you hear! Do you hear!” he cried, banging his fist on the table again.
“Quiet, quiet! They'll hear you! I warn you seriously: look out for yourself. I'm not joking, sir!” Porfiry said in a whisper, but in his face this time there was nothing of that earlier womanish, good-natured, and alarmed expression; on the contrary, now he was orderingoutright, sternly, frowning, and as if suddenly breaking through all secrets and ambiguities. But only for a moment. Puzzled at first, Raskolnikov suddenly flew into a real frenzy; but, strangely, he again obeyed the order to speak more softly, though he was in the most violent paroxysm of rage.
“I will not allow you to torture me!” he began whispering, as before, realizing immediately, with pain and hatred, that he was unable to disobey the order, and getting into even more of a rage at the thought of it. “Arrest me, search me, but be so good as to act according to form and not to toy with me, sir! Do not dare . . .”
“Now, don't go worrying about form,” Porfiry interrupted, with his usual sly smile, and as if even delightedly admiring Raskolnikov. “I invited you here unofficially, my dear, only as a friend!”
“I don't want your friendship, and I spit on it! Do you hear? Now look: I'm taking my cap and leaving. What are you going to say to that, if you were intending to arrest me?”
He seized his cap and walked to the door.
“But don't you want to see my little surprise?” Porfiry tittered, seizing his arm again just above the elbow, and stopping him at the door. He was obviously becoming more and more merry and playful, which was finally driving Raskolnikov into a fury.
“What little surprise? What is it?” he asked, suddenly stopping and looking at Porfiry in fear.
“A little surprise, sir, sitting there behind my door, heh, heh, heh!” (He pointed his finger at the closed door in the partition, which led to his government apartment.) “I even locked it in so that it wouldn't run away.”
“What is it? Where? What?...” Raskolnikov went over to the door and tried to open it, but it was locked.
“It's locked, sir, and here is the key!”
And indeed he showed him the key, having taken it from his pocket.
“You're still lying!” Raskolnikov screamed, no longer restraining himself. “You're lying, you damned punchinello!” And he rushed at Porfiry, who retreated towards the door, but was not at all afraid.
“I understand everything, everything!” he leaped close to him. “You're lying and taunting me so that I'll give myself away . . .”
“But one could hardly give oneself away any more, my dear Rodion Romanovich. You're beside yourself. Don't shout, I really will call people, sir!”
“Lies! You've got nothing! Call your people! You knew I was sick and wanted to annoy me to the point of rage, to get me to give myself away, that was your purpose! No, show me your facts! I understand everything! You have no facts, all you have are just miserable, worthless guesses, Zamyotovian guesses! ... You knew my character, you wanted to drive me into a frenzy and then suddenly stun me with priests and deputies...Is it them you're waiting for? Eh? What are you waiting for? Where? Let's have it!”
“But what deputies could there be, my dear! You have quite an imagination! This way one can't even go by form, as you say; you don't know the procedure, my friend...But form won't run away, sir, as you'll see for yourself! . . .” Porfiry muttered, with an ear towards the door.
Indeed, at that moment there seemed to be some noise just behind the door to the other room.
“Ah, they're coming!” cried Raskolnikov. “You sent for them! ... You've been waiting for them! You calculated...Well, let's have them all here—deputies, witnesses, whatever you like...go on! I'm ready! Ready! . . .”
But here a strange incident occurred, something so unexpected, in the ordinary course of things, that certainly neither Raskolnikov nor Porfiry Petrovich could have reckoned on such a denouement.
VI
Afterwards, remembering this moment, Raskolnikov pictured it all in the following way.
The noise from behind the door quickly increased all at once, and the door opened a little.
“What is it?” Porfiry Petrovich exclaimed in annoyance. “Didn't I warn you . . .”
No answer came for a moment, but one could see that several people were outside the door, and that someone was apparently being pushed aside.
“What is it in there?” Porfiry Petrovich repeated worriedly.
“We've brought the prisoner Nikolai,” someone's voice was heard.
“No! Away! Not now! ... How did he get here? What is this disorder?” Porfiry cried, rushing to the door.
“But he . . .” the same voice tried to begin again and suddenly stopped short.
For two seconds, not more, a real struggle took place; then it was as if someone suddenly pushed someone violently aside, after which a certain very pale man stepped straight into Porfiry Petrovich's office.
The man's appearance, at first sight, was very strange. He was staring straight ahead of him, but as if seeing no one. Determination flashed in his eyes, but at the same time there was a deathly pallor on his face, as though he were being led out to execution. His completely white lips quivered slightly.
He was still very young, dressed as a commoner, of average height, lean, with his hair cut like a bowl, and with gaunt, dry-looking features. The man he had unexpectedly pushed aside was the first to dash into the room after him, and managed to seize him by the shoulder: it was one of the guards; but Nikolai jerked his arm and tore himself free again.
A crowd of several curious onlookers formed in the doorway. Some of them made attempts to enter. Everything described here took place in no more than a moment.
“Away! It's too soon! Wait till you're called! ... Why did you bring him ahead of time?” Porfiry Petrovich muttered, extremely annoyed and as if thrown off. But all at once Nikolai went down on his knees.
“What's this now?” Porfiry cried in amazement.
“I'm guilty. The sin is mine! I am the murderer!” Nikolai suddenly pronounced, somewhat breathlessly, but in a rather loud voice.
The silence lasted for about ten seconds, as though everyone were simply stunned; even the guard recoiled and no longer tried to approach Nikolai, but retreated mechanically towards the door and stood there without moving.
“What is this?” cried Porfiry Petrovich, coming out of his momentary stupor.
“I am...the murderer . . .” Nikolai repeated, after a short silence.
“What...you...what...who did you kill?” Porfiry Petrovich was obviously at a loss.
Again Nikolai was silent for a moment.
“Alyona Ivanovna and her sister, Lizaveta Ivanovna—I...killed them...with an axe. My mind was darkened . . .” he added suddenly, and again fell silent, he was still on his knees.
For a few moments Porfiry Petrovich stood as if pondering, then he roused himself up again and waved away the uninvited witnesses. They vanished instantly, and the door was closed. Then he looked at Raskolnikov, who was standing in the corner gazing wildly at Nikolai, made a move towards him, but suddenly stopped, looked at him, immediately shifted his eyes to Nikolai, then back to Raskolnikov, then back to Nikolai, and suddenly, as if carried away, he fell upon Nikolai again.
“Why are you rushing ahead with your darkening?” he shouted at him almost spitefully. “I haven't asked you yet whether your mind was darkened or not...Tell me, you killed them?”
“I am the murderer...I'm giving testimony . . .” Nikolai said.
“Ehh! What did you kill them with?”
“An axe. I had it ready.”
“Eh, he's rushing! Alone?”
Nikolai did not understand the question.
“Did you do it alone?”
“Alone. And Mitka's not guilty, and he's not privy to any of it.”
“Don't rush with Mitka! Ehh! ... And how was it, how was it that you went running down the stairs then? The caretakers met both of you, didn't they?”
“That was to throw you off... that's why I ran then... with Mitka,” Nikolai replied hurriedly, as if he had prepared the answer beforehand.
“So, there it is!” Porfiry cried out spitefully. “He's not using his own words!” he muttered, as if to himself, and suddenly he noticed Raskolnikov again.
He had evidently been so carried away with Nikolai that for a moment he even forgot all about Raskolnikov. Now he suddenly recollected himself, was even embarrassed . . .
“Rodion Romanovich, my dear! Excuse me, sir,” he dashed to him, “this simply won't do; if you please, sir...there's nothing for you to...I myself...see what surprises! ... if you please, sir! . . .”
And taking him by the arm, he showed him to the door.
“It seems you didn't expect this?” said Raskolnikov, who of course understood nothing clearly yet but had already managed to cheer up considerably.
“You didn't expect it either, my dear. Look how your hand is shaking! Heh, heh!”
“You're shaking, too, Porfiry Petrovich.”
“Indeed I am, sir; I didn't expect this! . . .”
They were standing in the doorway. Porfiry was waiting impatiently for Raskolnikov to go out.
“So you're not going to show me your little surprise?” Raskolnikov said suddenly.
“He says it, and his teeth are still chattering in his mouth, heh, heh! What an ironical man you are! Well, sir, come again.”
“It's good-bye,I should think.”
“As God wills, sir, as God wills!” Porfiry muttered, his smile becoming somehow twisted.
As he passed through the office, Raskolnikov noticed that many people were looking at him intently. Among the crowd in the waiting room he managed to make out the two caretakers from thathouse, the ones he had incited to go to the police that night. They were standing and waiting for something. But as soon as he walked out to the stairs, he suddenly heard the voice of Porfiry Petrovich behind him. Turning around, he saw that he was hurrying after him, all out of breath.
“One little word, Rodion Romanovich, sir; concerning everything else, it's as God wills, but all the same we'll have to ask you a thing or two formally, sir...so we'll be seeing each other right enough, sir.”
And Porfiry stood in front of him, smiling.
“Right enough, sir,” he added once more.
It might be supposed that he wanted to say something more, but it somehow would not get itself said.
“And you must forgive me, Porfiry Petrovich, about these things just now...I lost my temper,” Raskolnikov began, now thoroughly cheered up, so much so that he could not resist the desire to show off.
“Never mind, sir, never mind...” Porfiry picked up almost joyfully. “And I myself, sir...I have a venomous character, I confess, I confess! So we'll be seeing each other, sir. God willing, we shall indeed, sir!”
“And finally get to know each other?” Raskolnikov picked up.
“And finally get to know each other,” Porfiry Petrovich agreed, narrowing his eyes and looking at him rather seriously. “So, now you're off to the name-day party, sir?”
“To the funeral, sir!”
“Ah, yes, the funeral, that is! Your health, do look after your health, sir . . .”
“And I really don't know what to wish you in return!” replied Raskolnikov, who was already starting down the stairs but suddenly turned back to Porfiry. “I would wish you greater success, but, you see, your job is so comical!”
“How is it comical, sir?” Porfiry, who had also turned to go, instantly pricked up his ears.
“Well, just take this poor Mikolka, whom you must have tortured and tormented psychologically, the way you do, until he confessed; you must have been proving it to him day and night: 'You are the murderer, you are the murderer . . .'—well, and now that he's confessed, you're going to pick him apart bone by bone: 'You're lying, you're not the murderer! You couldn't have been! You're not using your own words!' How can it not be a comical job after that?”
“Heh, heh, heh! So you noticed I just told Nikolai that he wasn't 'using his own words'?”
“How could I not?”
“Heh, heh! Sharp-witted, you're sharp-witted, sir. You notice everything! Truly a playful mind, sir! And you do touch the most comical string...heh, heh! They say it's Gogol, among writers, who had this trait in the highest degree?” [105]105
Nikolai Gogol (1800-52), prose writer and dramatist, was the greatest of Dostoevsky's predecessors. Dostoevsky was deeply indebted to him as an artist, particularly in his notion of "fantastic realism"; his works are full of references, hidden parodies, and polemical responses to the writings of the great satirist.
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“Yes, Gogol.”
“Yes, Gogol, sir...Till we have the pleasure again, sir.”
“Till we have the pleasure again . . .”
Raskolnikov went straight home. He was so puzzled and confused that, having come home and thrown himself on the sofa, he sat there for a quarter of an hour simply resting and trying at least somehow to collect his thoughts. He did not even venture to reason about Nikolai: he felt that he was defeated, that in Nikolai's confession there was something inexplicable, astonishing, which at the moment he was totally unable to understand. But Nikolai's confession was an actual fact. The consequences of this fact became clear to him at once: the lie could not but be revealed, and then they would set to work on him again. But at least he was free until then, and he absolutely had to do something for himself, because the danger was unavoidable.
To what extent, however? The situation was beginning to clarify itself. Recalling his whole recent scene with Porfiry, roughly,in its general outlines, he could not help shuddering with horror again. Of course, he did not know all of Porfiry's purposes yet, he could not grasp all his calculations. But part of the game had been revealed, and certainly no one knew better than he how terrible this “move” in Porfiry's game was for him. A little more and he mighthave given himself away completely, and factually now. Knowing the morbidity of his character, having correctly grasped and penetrated it at first sight, Porfiry had acted almost unerringly, albeit too resolutely. There was no question that Raskolnikov had managed to compromise himself far too much today, but still it had not gone as far as facts;it was all still relative. But was it right, was it right, the way he understood it now? Was he not mistaken? What precisely had Porfiry been driving at today? Did he really have anything prepared today? And what precisely? Was he really expecting something, or not? How precisely would they have parted today, had it not been for the arrival of an unexpected catastrophe through Nikolai?
Porfiry had shown almost the whole of his game; he was taking a risk, of course, but he had shown it, and (Raskolnikov kept thinking) if Porfiry really had something more, he would have shown that, too. What was this “surprise”? A mockery, perhaps? Did it mean anything, or not? Could it have concealed anything resembling a fact, a positive accusation? That man yesterday? Where had he dropped to? Where was he today? Because if Porfiry had anything positive, it must certainly be connected with that man yesterday . . .
He was sitting on the sofa, his head hanging down, his elbows resting on his knees, and his face buried in his hands. A nervous trembling still shook his whole body. Finally he got up, took his cap, thought, and made for the door.
He somehow had a presentiment that for today, at least, he could almost certainly consider himself safe. Suddenly his heart felt almost joyful: he wanted to hasten to Katerina Ivanovna's. To be sure, he was late for the funeral, but he would still be in time for the memorial meal, and there, now, he would see Sonya.
He stopped, thought, and a sickly smile forced itself to his lips.
“Today! Today!” he repeated to himself. “Yes, today! It must be . . .”
He was just about to open the door, when it suddenly began to open by itself. He trembled and jumped back. The door was opening slowly and quietly, and suddenly a figure appeared—of yesterday's man from under the ground.
The man stopped on the threshold, looked silently at Raskolnikov, and took a step into the room. He was exactly the same as yesterday, the same figure, the same clothes, but in his face and eyes a great change had taken place: he now looked somehow rueful, and, having stood for a little, he sighed deeply. He need only have put his palm to his cheek and leaned his head to one side, to complete his resemblance to a peasant woman.
“What do you want?” Raskolnikov asked, going dead.
The man paused and then suddenly bowed deeply to him, almost to the ground. At least he touched the ground with one finger of his right hand.
“What is this?” Raskolnikov cried out.
“I am guilty,” the man said softly.
“Of what?”
“Of wicked thoughts.”
The two stood looking at each other.
“I felt bad. When you came that time, maybe under the influence, and told the caretakers to go to the precinct, and asked about blood, I felt bad because it all came to nothing, and you were taken for drunk. And I felt so bad that I lost my sleep. And, remembering the address, we came here yesterday and asked...”