Текст книги "Falling "
Автор книги: E. K. Blair
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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 29 страниц)
“Fuck!”
Bolting out of my office, I haul ass downstairs to the back door and out to the small employee parking lot in the alley.
“God, please! Stop!” a girl shrieks.
Before my mind can process what I’m seeing—naked girl, guy’s hand between her legs, girl thrashing, screaming—the bastard smashes his fist into her face.
Adrenaline fires through my body, and I run. Yanking the guy off her, I start slamming my fist into his face over and over. I completely lose control of myself and relentlessly whale on him. I’m gone. My knuckles start to burn as the flesh begins to split open. He manages to get a few swift hits to my jaw and ribs, which allows him a quick moment to work out of my grip and flee.
Before I can charge after the guy, I catch a glimpse of the girl. It doesn’t take but a second for me to refocus. She lies there, unconscious, bare, with her clothes ripped off of her. My stomach convulses at the image before me. I slowly approach her—scared—and kneel down next to her. Terrified to touch her, I take off my shirt and cover her naked, battered body. Her face is covered in blood and dirt, skin scraped off on one side and the other is already swelling from where the fucker’s fist landed. Her knees are ripped open and covered in gravel. The blood between her thighs tells me exactly what that piece of shit did to her. My heart thuds hard in my chest, and my gut is in knots.
I pat my pockets for my cell, but it’s not on me. I must have dropped it as I ran out here. Not wanting to leave her, I look around and spot her purse. I lean over and grab it in search of her phone. When I find it, I swipe the screen and dial 911.
My voice is shaky as I try to talk to the dispatcher. My thoughts are all over the place, and I stumble as I try to answer all of her questions. When she tells me that the police and EMTs are on their way, we disconnect. I slip the phone back into her gold purse and slowly zip it up as I stare at her. I don’t want to look, but I can’t stop.
As I sit next to her, she lies there, breathing peacefully. Whatever is running through her head right now has to be a million times better than the hell she’s going to wake up to.
What the fuck just happened? I watch her. I don’t know what else to do. She is so small, and when I look at her tiny hands, her nails are shredded. Shit. She fought. She had to have fought hard. The thought nearly makes me vomit, and when I shift my eyes away from her hands, I notice a little tattoo. An outline of a heart—simple black ink—on her lower hip that’s still exposed. Sliding the shirt over a little to cover it, I finally hear the sirens in the distance.
“Thank God,” I whisper.
The sound grows louder the closer they get, and when the red and blue lights strobe across the parking lot, I reluctantly stand to my feet, but don’t move away from her until the EMTs approach.
“Sir, can you step over here?” an officer asks.
We walk over to the rear of his vehicle. He pulls out a clipboard from the car and opens the top of it, retrieving a few forms.
“I need to get your statement,” he says while he organizes the papers under the clip. “You’re the one that called 911, correct?”
“Yes, sir,” I answer before turning my head to see them sliding the girl onto a backboard, strapping her down. She’s now covered in a large blanket, and it’s at this moment that I feel. Pain. Sadness. Anguish. It wells up and floods my eyes. I don’t even know this girl, but I hurt for her.
“Where are they taking her?” I ask the officer.
“You know her?”
“No.” I turn back and watch as they slide her into the back of the ambulance. Another EMT is collecting the scraps of her clothes that remain on the ground.
“Can you tell me what happened?” the officer asks.
“I don’t know,” I mumble. I can’t seem to get my head straight. What just happened?
“Take your time. It’s important that we get a detailed account of everything that occurred. Everything you saw.”
“Is she gonna be okay?” I ask as the ambulance drives off.
“Do you need to sit down, sir?” I faintly hear the officer as he speaks. Pressure on my arm shifts my focus when I realize he has his hand on me, guiding me to sit in the front passenger seat of his vehicle. The door shuts, and I lean my head back against the seat. I watch him walk in slow motion around the front of the car. He sits in the driver’s seat next to me.
“Start from the beginning.”
“He raped her,” I choke out.
“My God.”
“He beat the shit out of her, Mom. I can’t close my eyes without seeing it,” I tell her. “I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I just laid in my bed, replaying it over and over.”
“Is she okay?”
“I don’t know. They wouldn’t tell me anything. It feels weird . . . to see that and not know.”
“Are you okay?”
“How am I supposed to answer that? What do I say?”
“Say how you feel,” she tells me with worry and concern.
“I feel sick. What he did to her . . . what I saw . . .”
“I hate that I’m not there.”
“It’s okay, Mom. I don’t really wanna talk anymore; I just needed to tell you. I needed to tell someone.”
“I’m so sorry that you had to see something like that,” she says.
I’ve seen so much shit in my life. Too much to ever forget. You can’t rid your mind of images that burn themselves into who you are. I’ve had to watch my mother getting the life knocked out of her at the hands of my father more times than I ever want to remember. But I also have her sounds etched in me. Her painful, pleading screams.
And now . . . now I have this girl. This unknown. A Jane Doe. Blanks that will never be filled.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you better,” I confess.
Guilt.
“Ryan, don’t.”
The knot in my throat makes my words painful to say, but I force them out. My confession. “I was right there. I heard the noise out back. If only I would have gone out there. Fuck, why didn’t I go out there sooner?”
“How could you have known?”
“I could have stopped it. Prevented it. But instead, I ignored it.” The whole time I knew there was someone back there, and I ignored it. I sat in my office while that girl fought so hard she had no nails left. “What have I done?” I breathe out, suddenly feeling the weight of the responsibility I now hold.
“You didn’t do anything,” she tries assuring me.
She’s right. I didn’t do anything. Nothing. I close my eyes, and I see it. The blood between her legs. The image I know will forever be with me. I toss the phone aside and rush to the bathroom, vomiting. Expelling the toxins, but not the images. Those remain.
Needing to move, needing to get out of the house, I drive up to work. I park out front and head straight to my office, shutting the door behind me. Fuck. Why am I here?
There’s a knock on the door, and when I say, “Come in,” Max walks in.
“Everything all right, boss?”
“Shut the door,” I tell him, and he does.
“What’s going on?”
I didn’t get any sleep last night, and I feel like shit. I know I look it, and by the expression on his face, I know he sees it.
Folding my hands, I lean forward on my desk. “Something really fucked up happened here last night after you left.”
He walks over and takes a seat in the chair.
“A girl was raped out back,” I tell him.
“Christ,” he breathes as he drops his head.
I don’t say anything else. I’m not sure I can. We both sit there in silence as seconds pass by.
I finally speak the words that have me so fucked up. “I saw her.”
“The girl?”
“I heard her screaming, and when I went out there, he was on her.” I spin around in my chair and stare out the window that overlooks the street in front of the bar as it rains.
“I want cameras installed back there,” I tell him.
“I’m on it,” he responds. “You okay?”
Still facing the window, I admit, “I don’t know, man. That shit was fucked up.”
“Did the police come?”
When I turn back around to face him, I answer, “Yeah. I gave my statement, and they took her to the hospital.”
“Was she okay?”
“I don’t know. He beat her pretty badly. She was unconscious.”
“And the guy?”
“Don’t know. I had him for a moment, but I couldn’t keep him in my grip. I couldn’t leave the girl though, so he fled.” I take a minute before telling him, “I don’t want the girls walking to their cars alone. You and Chase need to be with them when they leave. Got it?”
“Of course.” He takes a moment before asking, “You sure you want to be up here?”
Looking up at him, I let him know, “I can’t be home. I need a distraction.”
“I hear ya,” he says then switches the topic, which I’m thankful for. “I talked with Chase earlier today, and he says he knows of a band that’s gotten pretty popular lately. If you’re tied up, I can get Michael to see about getting them booked for Saturday.”
“Nah, I’ll take care of it. Is he here?”
“Yeah, I’ll send him up,” he says as he stands and starts walking out. When he gets to the door, he turns back and says, “I’m here, man. If you ever . . .”
“Thanks.” His friendship is genuine. It always has been. I might not be a man of many words, but I stop him before he walks out and tell him, “I really appreciate it,” because I feel like he should know.
He gives a nod, accepting my words, and turns to head downstairs.
I spend the next few hours reviewing the financials and going over payroll. It’s Michael’s responsibility, but I absorb myself in it for the distraction. I speak with Chase, and I am able to contact one of the guys from the band he suggested and get them booked.
Filing some papers away, I notice the sky darkening. Somehow the day has passed, and I still feel like I’m on autopilot.
“God, please! Stop!”
I shake my head, trying to wash out the shrill of her voice. The panic.
There’s a soft knock on the door, and before I can say anything, it slowly opens.
“What are you doing here?” I ask when I see Gina step in and close the door behind her.
This is the last thing I need to deal with right now.
“I never heard from you last night.”
“I wasn’t feeling well,” I tell her. “Look, things are getting a little weird, and honestly, I’m just not feeling right about what we have going on.” I should have told her this the other day, but I know that I can’t keep having her come around, thinking that this has any value in it.
She sits down and questions, “What do you mean?”
Getting up from my chair, I walk around to the front of my desk and lean back against it in front of her. I need to lay it out there honestly for her so that there isn’t any confusion.
“I’m starting to feel like what’s going on between us is exactly what I try to avoid. It isn’t working for me, and I’d feel like an ass if I led you to think otherwise.”
She looks hurt. Proof that she’s feeling too much. She plays it off well though when she says, “Well, it was fun while it lasted, right?”
I don’t respond as I watch her stand up.
“Keep my number though,” she says before turning her back to me and walking out.
I release a deep breath. A failed attempt to make me feel better. Truth is, I’m in a haze. A cloud. My mind is elsewhere—it’s back in the alley. But that girl’s cloud is no doubt thicker and darker than mine right now. Why didn’t I go out there sooner? What if I had?
“Fuck!” I grit out, slamming the door shut, knowing I’m at fault, that I could have done a lot more if only . . .
Walking through the back stockroom, I ask Mel, “Hey, have you seen Max or Michael?”
“Michael left a couple hours ago, and last I saw, Max was out back talking to Traci,” she tells me as she loads her arms with a case of beer, almost dropping it.
“Here. Give that to me,” I say, taking the heavy case from her. She follows me as I walk out and set the beer on the bar top. The place is starting to fill up. The band that Chase had recommended played here last week and really drew in a crowd. I went ahead and booked them again for tonight, and he wasn’t kidding when he said they were well-known around here.
I help Mel behind the bar, stocking the beer while she serves customers. When I catch Max heading to the front door, I shout, “Hey, Max!”
“What’s up?”
“You seen the guys yet?” I ask.
“Chasten is here, but I’m not sure about the others. Everything cool?”
“Yeah, if you see them before I do, tell them I need to talk with them before they go on tonight.”
“Got it,” he responds as he turns to head out to work the door.
I need to snag this band while I can. Getting them in a contract will alleviate the hassle of trying to book bands week after week. The guys seem pretty cool from what I got to know of them last week, which wasn’t a whole lot aside from the guitarist, Mark. He stayed late that night, drinking and bullshitting with me and Gavin after he was done playing.
Gavin tried leeching some chick on him but got a good laugh when he found out that his hard work with the girl went down the shitter when Mark told him he was gay. The look of disappointment, that he wouldn’t have another wingman, was something I selfishly took pleasure in.
He’s been on my case lately since I ditched him a couple of times this week. I haven’t been in the mood to go out just to find someone to use simply to make myself feel better. Ever since I saw that girl being attacked a couple weeks ago, it feels wrong.
“You got everything covered, Mel?”
“Yeah, Ry. I’m good,” she says, and I start making my way to the back.
I spot Chasten and Mark talking and announce, “Hey, guys, can you get the others and meet me in my office real quick?”
“Yeah, no problem,” Mark says and then introduces me, “Ryan, this is Jase, the guy I was telling you about.”
“Jase, man, good to meet you,” I say as I reach out to shake his hand.
“Yeah, same here,” he responds with a note of hesitation, but I don’t stick around ‘cause I’ve gotta get up to my office to talk with everyone. “I’ll catch up with you later, man.”
“Sounds good,” he says.
Once all the guys are in my office, I offer, “What do you guys think about making this gig a steady one?”
“You serious?” Aiden, the front vocalist, says.
“Yeah. I’m not gonna bullshit you guys. Finding bands is a bitch, so if you’re in at a ten percent pay increase, all you have to do is sign this simple contract and we’re good.”
I take the contract and hand it over to Aiden, who reads through it first and confirms, “I’m in,” before handing it over for the rest of the guys to read. When they are all on the same page with the agreement, they sign and call it a deal. Adding them to the payroll takes a load of stress off my back and simplifies my job even more.
When they leave to head down, I stay a little while to enter their info into our database. I write a note to Michael about the new payroll and employee additions and toss it on his desk before heading down. The band is just about to start playing when I make my way over to the bar and see Jase.
“Jase.” I move to stand next to him, leaning my elbows on the bar top. “You ever been here before?”
“Yeah. This crowd is a bit insane though,” he replies.
Watching Mel hand him his beer, I tell her, “Don’t bother with a tab, Mel.”
“Thanks, man,” he says as he turns to me.
“No problem.”
The music starts blasting through the bar when I say, “Your guy’s band is fuckin’ popular. They brought in a huge crowd last time they played here as well.”
He keeps his focus on the stage, not responding, so I leave it and ask, “You go to school together?”
“Yeah,” he hollers over the music. “We’re in the same major.”
“And what’s that?”
“Architecture.”
“That’s cool,” I say and then turn to yell for Mel to grab me a beer.
“Ryan! Fuck, man!” I hear Gavin shout with irritation from behind me.
I turn and question, “What?”
“That chick you flung on me last night was a fuckin’ psycho.”
Ignoring his complaint, I turn to Jase and say, “Jase, this is my dick of a friend, Gavin.”
“What the fuck ever,” Gavin says as he laughs. He looks to Jase and warns, “Watch out for this dipshit, and don’t let him hook you up with anyone. His matchmaking skills suck balls.”
“Find your own ass, Gav. I’m not your fuckin’ hookup,” I let him know because I’m not into his game tonight.
“Not anymore. What the hell has happened to you lately?”
“Nothing. Just sick of wasting my time.”
I take a swig of my beer while Gavin tells Jase that I’ve been acting like a pussy, so I clip him and say, “Don’t waste your time buddying up with Jase.”
“Sad. I guess it’s just me trying to get laid, huh?”
“Sorry. Looks like it,” Jase tells him, laughing.
“Are these the same guys that played here last week?” Gavin questions.
“Yeah, they’re gonna be playing here every Saturday now. They just signed a contract earlier.”
“They looking for a label?”
“Ask this guy. I have no clue,” I say as I tip the neck of my bottle towards Jase.
“You know them?” he asks Jase.
“Yeah, but I dunno,” Jase responds. “I only know Mark and just met the drummer.”
“This is Mark’s guy,” I tell Gavin.
He gives me a nod then says to Jase, “Yeah, I met Mark the other day. Cool guy.”
I turn away from them and spot annoyance. Gina. She’s here. I don’t even say anything when I walk away and head toward her to see why she’s here. She texted me the other day, but I ignored it. So seeing her here, when she knows this is my bar, winds me up a bit.
Weaving through all the people, I see her turn and spot me. Her smile grows along with my irritation.
“Hey, you,” she says as she slides herself up next to me.
“What are you doing here, Gina?”
“Just wanted to see what you were up to,” she flirts as she runs her hand down my stomach, straight towards my pants.
I grab her wrist and stop her, snapping, “If I were up to anything that had to do with you, you would know about it. You being here is just desperate.” I suddenly feel like crap for my harsh words. But part of me, the big part of me that used to use people like I used her, pangs with regret.
She doesn’t respond, and I know I just humiliated her, so I let go of her wrist and say, “Look, I’m sorry. I’m a dick, I know. But I need you to leave,” before walking away and back to the bar.
“What the hell is up with you? That chick was all over your nuts,” Gavin says when I approach, knowing damn well who Gina is.
Ignoring him, I lean over the bar and holler, “Mel, I’ll be up in my office. I’ll come down later, okay?”
“Yeah, no problem, Ry,” she says as she’s mixing a drink.
Gavin catches my arm and questions, “Dude, seriously? What the hell is going on with you?”
Jerking out of his grip, I tell him, “Not in the mood.”
“You haven’t been for a couple weeks.”
“You wouldn’t get it, man,” I exhaust and then walk up to my office.
Shutting the door behind me, I flop down in the chair, and close my eyes.
“You’re the one that called 911, correct?”
“Where are they taking her?”
“You know her?”
“Is she gonna be okay?”
“Take your time. It’s important that we get a detailed account of everything that occurred. Everything you saw.”
My eyes pop open, wanting to escape the scene that keeps creeping in. The rouse of my stomach weighs heavy when realization hits. My actions, though acted out on a totally different scope, are the same as that fucker who raped that girl. We both used someone to satisfy some twisted piece of our self with completely selfish intent. I’ve used so many people just to numb the ache I feel. Fuck.
I wonder how many girls I’ve hurt. I know of one for sure. She’s downstairs, and I just made it worse after throwing my words at her. What’s wrong with me?
I’m restless. It doesn’t matter where I am, it follows me. But I need to move, so I head back down, not knowing what else to do with myself. Mel can see right through me, telling me to go home. I say a few quick words to Jase and then do as Mel says and go home.
It’s been almost two months since I last saw Gina when she came by the bar. It’s been longer than that since I’ve been with a girl. Ever since that night in the alley, my mind hasn’t been in the same place. The images have started to fade, but I just can’t continue to use people like I used to. When I think about going out to find a hook-up, all I think about is that fucker I let get away.
I never heard anything regarding my statement that the police collected, so I have to assume no charges were ever pressed or else I’m sure I would’ve been contacted by now. I’ve only ever mentioned that night to my mom and Max. I never told Gavin about what I saw. He’s still running his game and has been hanging out with a couple of his buddies more often, now that I’ve been lying low. It doesn’t bother me because I’ve been spending more time with Mark and Jase.
The two of them are pretty solid guys. Although they’re a few years younger and still in college, I feel like we’re on more of the same level than Gav and I are. We’ve been hanging out and hitting the gym on a pretty consistent basis. That, along with seeing them every Saturday night at the bar, we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well.
I ran into Gavin the other day, and he gave me some extra tickets to check out a band that Sub Pop is considering signing, so I invited Jase and Mark to meet me at The Crocodile where this band is going to be playing.
I throw on a black v-neck t-shirt, a pair of dark-wash jeans, and black boots. Running my fingers through my long hair that is due for a trim now that it’s hit my ears, I grab my keys and head out to my jeep. When I drive past, there is a huge crowd gathered where the legendary club is located. I park down the street and walk. Once inside, I make my way backstage where Gavin told me to meet him.
“Ryan, you made it,” he says when he spots me.
“I told you I would.”
“Just didn’t know if you were gonna bail.” He gives me a friendly clap on the shoulder and then introduces me to the band before we head out to the bar to get a drink.
Mark is already there waiting on the bartender to take his order when we approach.
“Hey, man,” I say to him. “When did you get here?”
“Just now. I ran into Mel’s husband a second ago.”
“Zane’s here?” I ask.
“Yeah. He’s around somewhere.”
“Mel here?”
“I don’t think so. Haven’t see her,” he responds.
“Mark, good to see ya,” Gavin says after he’s done putting in our drink order.
“You too. Thanks for the tickets.”
“Have you ever played here?” he asks Mark.
“Shit, I wish,” he laughs. “No, man. Before our gig at Ryan’s bar, we were just taking anything we could get.”
“I hear that a lot. Well, I gotta go meet a couple guys from work. I’ll see you all in a bit,” Gavin says as he grabs his beer and walks off.
I pick up the bottle that’s on the bar for me and take a long pull when I notice Jase isn’t around.
“Where’s Jase?”
“Got tied up with a friend. He’s not gonna make it,” he tells me.
“Tied up all night?”
He nods his head and explains, “Yeah. She’s going though some heavy stuff, so Jase is staying the night with her.” He takes a sip of his beer, and then adds, “He’ll be at the bar tomorrow though.”
We sit and talk for a while as we continue to drink. The place is packed tight with people, and when the band takes the stage, the music blasts through the place, and there’s no more talking.
When Zane finds us, he orders a round of Jack and Cokes, and it isn’t long before Mark orders his second. He isn’t paying attention when I hear a woman’s voice in my ear.
“Did you need anything?” she asks as she sets Mark’s drink down. She’s hot. Deep tan, long brown hair, tall, and wearing a short black skirt that raises the question of what’s underneath.
I shoot her a smile and nod my head for another Jack and Coke. She turns to make my drink, and maybe it’s the alcohol that’s already flowing through my veins, or maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t gotten laid in months, but lust takes over.
My indecent thoughts are interrupted when Mark stumbles into me, laughing uncontrollably. As soon as he opens his mouth to slur out his words, it’s clear he’s wasted.
“How many of these have you had?” I say as I point to his drink in hand.
“Check this shit out,” he nearly shouts as he shoves his phone in my hand, and before I get a full view of what that chick is doing with a glow stick, I shove it back to him, saying, “Dude, that’s fucked up.”
Mark can hardly catch his breath, he’s laughing so hard, and I’m getting a kick out of the show he’s giving me, so I sit back on my barstool and laugh right along with him. Mark is a cool guy, much more outgoing and funny than Jase is. Jase tends to be more on the serious, calm side.
“I bet you’d like to be that glow stick, huh?”
“That’s sick,” I cringe. “Plus, you’re the one that has that crap stored on your phone. Does Jase know that you get off on that?” I tease.
“You wanna see what I get off to?” he says as he starts scrolling through his phone.
“No. Love ya, man, but I don’t wanna see what you’re about to show me,” I say as he starts pushing his phone towards me.
“Oh, come on,” he taunts while I continue to laugh at him. “I know you think Jase is hot.”
“What?”
“He’s totally hot. Admit it! HOT!”
Holy shit this guy is far gone.
“I’m not saying a word,” I tell him.
“That’s a yes,” he says in a singsong voice followed by an evil smirk. He’s trying to get a rise out of me, and I find it pretty hilarious.
“It’s not a yes.”
“The dude is sexy as hell and you know it.”
He’s not gonna stop, so I just give him what he wants, and for the hell of it, I say, “Yeah, man. He’s hot.”
“I knew it!” he shouts through his laughter as I shake my head at all the attention he’s drawing to himself. He takes a moment and then, with a straight face, sets his phone on the bar next to me and says, “Here, you enjoy glow stick girl. I gotta take a piss,” before stumbling off.
I turn around in my seat and don’t touch the phone. The girl behind the bar looks over at me and gives me a small grin. When she walks over, she looks at my glass and asks, “More?”
“I’m good.”
“Your friend’s pretty funny.”
“My friend is pretty drunk,” I tell her, and when she rests her forearms on the bar top and leans forward, she asks, “And what about you?”
“I’m in total control,” I say in a low voice, and when I do, I get the look I was hoping for.
“We’ll see about that,” she says as she pulls back and walks away to continue helping customers.
I sit there for a while and nurse my drink. When I realize how much time has passed and Mark hasn’t returned, I grab his phone to go look for him. I spot him towards the back of the club, talking with Gavin. When I step up to them, I hand Mark his phone and tell Gavin, “Call this guy a cab, will ya?”
“Yeah, man,” he responds. “You heading out?”
“Not yet,” I say, heading back towards the bar, but before I can get there, I run into the bartender as she’s about to turn down a hall that looks like it leads to an office.
“You leaving?” she asks.
Wanting to know if this is worth wasting my time, I cut to the chase. “Not if you don’t want me to.”
An all-too-transparent grin spreads across her face before she says, “Come here.”
She takes my hand and starts leading me down the hall. Opening a door to a small closet, she pulls me in and shuts the door. I can’t see shit; it’s so dark, and the smells of bleach and booze fill the room.
Her body presses up against mine, and I begin running my hands up underneath her top, grabbing her tits. She starts kissing my neck while fumbling with my pants, and the heat takes over. We begin moving at a frantic pace. I yank her top up and pull her bra down as she shoves her hand down my pants, fisting me tightly.
I throw my head back and hear the thunk as it hits the wall.
“Are you okay?”
“Is she gonna be okay?”
Suddenly, I’m back in the alley as my words play back in my head. This chick is all over me, but in an instant, my mind is somewhere else completely. Somewhere it hasn’t been in a long time. I try to shake it off, but it’s so dark in here that my eyes have nothing to focus on.
“God, please! Stop!”
“Stop.”
“What’s wrong?” she pants.
“Stop,” I repeat and move her away from me. Buttoning up my pants, I know I can’t do this. I know that she isn’t, but all that floods my head is that this girl could be that girl. And what the hell am I doing with her anyway? Using her for a quick fuck to satisfy some sick need I have that I can’t seem to get rid of? Fuck.
“Did I do something?” she questions, and the last thing I wanna do is make her feel like shit.
“Pull your shirt down,” I tell her before opening the door. When I do, I look at her and say, “You didn’t do anything. I’m just . . . I just can’t do this. Sorry.” I turn to walk out and back into the club. I don’t even look for the guys; I just head straight out the door and continue to my jeep, to head home and jerk off.
I sit in my office at the bar, drinking beer and not getting much work done at all. Last night was messed up, and I know I can’t be doing that shit again. I need something else to focus on, so I spent the morning clearing the images off of my camera and loading them onto my computer to start editing and enhancing. I figure I can work on those to suck up all the free time I seem to have on my hands at night now.
When the door to my office opens, Jase walks in.
“Hey, man,” he says as he walks straight to the little fridge that’s behind my desk that I keep stocked with beer.
“Can you toss me another one of those?” I ask as I throw my empty bottle into the trash.
Handing me the beer, he asks, “So, you been up here all day?”
“Pretty much. You know how Saturdays are—crazy as hell all day.” I take a drink and then add, “Missed you last night. Mark said you got hung-up with a friend.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. She’s been going through a rough time, so I decided to stay with her last night.”
“You missed a pretty good show,” I tell him, referring more to his boyfriend than the band.
“That’s what Mark said.”
I can’t help but laugh at the thought of him last night. “Your guy’s a little crazy when he drinks.”
“I’m not even gonna ask, but he was in a piss-ass mood when I saw him earlier.”
“Ha! I bet. He drank a shitload, probably hungover as fuck.”
We both laugh when the door opens and Mark walks through. “What’s so funny?” he asks as he stands there.
“You, man,” I chuckle.
“If this is about last night, I don’t even wanna know what the hell I did. My head has been pounding all damn day, and now I have to play for the next two hours.”
“Go find Max. He always has earplugs,” I tell him.
