Текст книги "Falling "
Автор книги: E. K. Blair
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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 29 страниц)
I can barely focus on the road as I drive to Thinkspace for the gallery showing tonight. Candace looks amazing in the lace dress she’s wearing. I never thought pencil skirts were sexy until I saw them on her. Most of her dressier outfits are of the same style and tonight, I would have rather stayed in with the dress tossed to the floor, but I have every intention of ending the night that way.
Candace hasn’t stayed over with me since she went back home, and I’ve missed not having her there with me. I also worry. There is rarely a night when she doesn’t have problems sleeping. Ever since that one horrifying nightmare, she’s been back on her sleeping pill, but she says they only help control the really vivid dreams. She still wakes often from night terrors, and I don’t like the idea of her dealing with that alone, but she insists that she’s fine.
When we arrive, I help Candace down from her seat and lead her inside. She’s been so excited for tonight, inviting Jase, Mark, and Gavin. I never took my photography that seriously until lately. I’ve been spending more time shooting, mostly Candace, and editing. I like the focus of having a hobby, and knowing that I can share that with her is a bonus.
“I’m really proud of you, you know?” she says as we walk inside.
“Babe, the only reason that photo is on display is because you’re in it. You’re perfect.”
I take her coat and check it when I hear a lady call, “Candace!”
“Stacy, hi,” Candace says and hugs a tall, slender woman who looks close to my age with short, raven hair.
“That dress is amazing,” she says to Candace.
“Thank you.”
“And this is . . .?” she asks as she looks at me.
“Ryan,” Candace introduces.
“Ahh, ‘Nubile.’ Beautiful photograph,” she says as I reach out to take her hand. “I’m Stacy Keets. I work at the Henry Gallery.”
“Ryan Campbell,” I say.
“Well, your piece is great. I saw a couple eying it a minute ago. Do you have more pieces?”
“A few,” I tell her. “It wasn’t ever something I intended to show anyone or have displayed, but Candace insisted,” I add with a smile as I wrap my hand around her waist.
“I’m glad she did. I’d love to see more of your work,” she tells me before looking at Candace and asking, “Do you still have my number?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Give me a call,” she says to me. “We have some wall space opening up soon, so if you’re interested, we can discuss the possibility of displaying some of your pieces.”
“Will do. I’ll have Candace give me your number.”
She turns back to Candace, telling her, “And I owe you a congratulations. I heard about your audition from Sergej.”
“I hope it was all good.”
She softens her voice when she says, “He thinks people will be fighting for you to sign with their companies.”
“I can only hope,” Candace responds with her modesty that I love so much. She’s humble and gracious. She knows she’s amazing but would never say it out loud.
“No hoping. I’m looking forward to seeing you perform in May.”
“Thank you. I’ll be sure Ryan calls you,” she tells Stacy.
“Enjoy your night.”
“You too, Stacy,” I say and then head over to the bar where we spot Jase and Mark.
“Hey, man,” Mark says when we approach.
We visit for a few minutes when Candace excuses herself to roam around the gallery with Jase. Art showings really aren’t my thing, so I grab a beer and chat with Mark. I don’t wait too long before I make my way over to the registrar.
Walking up to the desk, there’s an elderly woman in a black cocktail dress who greets me. “Sir, how can I help you?”
Leaning my elbows on the counter, I say, “I’d like to inquire about one of the pieces being shown.”
“Title?”
“‘Nubile.’”
After a few clicks on the computer, she says, “It’s been flagged by three interests, but no purchases yet.”
“I’d like to purchase it then.”
“Great! I have it marked for twelve hundred.”
Shit. I had no idea my work would be worth that much. I had the photo canvassed in a large 24x40 wrap after it was accepted.
When I hand her my credit card, she begins to explain, “The piece is scheduled to remain on display until mid-April. At that time, preparatory will wrap it and have the piece delivered, unless you would like to pick it up yourself.”
“Delivery is fine.”
“Name?”
“Ryan Campbell.”
She types it into her system and then looks up at me. “Ryan Campbell?”
“Yes.”
She grins, asking, “Mr. Campbell, is this your piece?”
I respond with a mere wink as she continues to enter my information. There is no way in hell I’d let that photo of my girl hang in anyone’s home but my own. Taking that photo was a huge deal for her, and I wasn’t lying when I told her it was hers. She doesn’t know I’m buying it. She’d probably be mad if she knew, but that’s a memory I refuse to let someone else enjoy.
Once I finish with the purchase, I walk around and find Candace sitting on a bench with Jase.
“There you are,” I say as I walk over to them. Jase stands and excuses himself, giving me and Candace time alone. “Where have you been?”
“Just walking around with Jase,” she says as she leans into me.
“I heard someone bought your photo.”
“Really?” she questions excitedly, and I get a kick out of her enthusiasm. But I’m done here tonight. I just want to be alone with her, away from everyone, because I’ve missed her.
I stand up and take her hand. “Walk with me.”
When she slides her hand in mine, I lead her through to the back of the gallery, hoping I can come across a private area so that I can get my hands and mouth on her in a way that just wouldn’t be appropriate in front of all these people.
“What are we doing back here? We’re gonna get in trouble,” she says nervously.
I laugh at her. “You’re so cute.”
We turn to go behind a wall, far from everyone else. I back her up against it, caging her in with my hands braced on either side of her. She knows what I want and gives it to me when she takes my face in her hands and draws me in, kissing me. I take over, eager for her. I want her right here, but I know my girl, and she’s a private person. I’m shocked she’s even doing this with me right now.
“We should go,” she mumbles between kisses.
Pressing my hips against her, she grabs on to me, whispering my name.
I don’t waste a second, taking her hand and leading her out the back, avoiding the time it would take to say goodbye to everyone. I just want to have her. Alone with me. In my bed.
Pulling up the driveway, I open her door, scoop her into my arms, and carry her up the stairs to the front door and then up to my room. I lay her on the bed and stand to look down at her. The light from the moon filtering through the clouds drapes a muted silvery hue on her fair skin.
I take my hands and run them down the length of her body, needing to feel the lace under my hands and the curve of her body beneath it. When I get to her legs, I wrap my grip behind her knees and trail them over her calves and down to her ankles, slipping off her heels, letting them fall to the floor. I toss my jacket over the chair and remove my shoes and socks before I climb into bed and back over her.
“I love you so fuckin’ much.”
“I love you, too.”
I need her. The desire to have her is powerful. She looks incredible tonight, and I want her to give me another piece of her, so I make my request, saying, “Make love to me, babe.”
By the look in her eyes, I know she understands what I mean. She’s a little apprehensive every time we’ve had sex, so I have always taken the lead. But I need this from her—the certainty. I know she’d never do anything she didn’t want to, but I also know that there is a level of fear about sex with her, and I want to give the control over to her.
She nods her head, and we pull up to our knees. As my lips land on hers, I fix my hands on her hips and slowly drag them up her lace-covered body before finding the zipper and sliding it down. She begins to unbutton my shirt, grazing the tips of her fingers against my chest while she works her way down. After she removes my shirt, she adjusts her shoulders, allowing the dress to slip off of her and pool at her knees.
She hangs on to my neck when I lower her down to the mattress and then pull the dress over her legs, tossing it on the floor with the rest of our clothes. My lips trail up her legs as I nip gently on her sensitive flesh, making her sigh, but she grips the sides of my head when I start planting soft kisses along her inner thigh. She clamps her hands on me, pushing me away before my mouth can reach her panties.
Patience is hard when I want her in ways I know she isn’t ready for, but I move at her pace and allow her to lead me when she pulls my head up to her stomach. I kiss her heated skin as I start to shift her underwear down her legs. Sitting up on my knees, between her parted thighs, I run my eyes over her bare skin before she hitches her legs around my waist and pulls me down to her. But I pull back so that I can unhook my pants and kick them off.
Before I return to her, I slip on a condom and then reach around her back, shifting her on top of my lap as I sit with my legs in front of me. With her straddling me, I unhook her bra, slipping it down her arms. She rests her hands on my shoulders, staring into my eyes, when I move my hands to her hips. Lifting up on her knees, I reach down and help guide myself inside of her as she lowers herself on top of me.
Her head falls onto the curve of my neck when she slides over me slowly, and I let my head drop against her as pleasure radiates through my body. Her frame is so small, and she’s so tight around me. My arms slide around her waist, and I hold on to her tightly when she finally lifts her head and looks into my eyes, foreheads pressed together. She rises up and takes her time as her body slowly falls back down over me.
“God, I love you,” I breathe out.
Our bodies are pressed together, her arms wrapped around my neck, my head dropped to her chest. I needed her to give this to me, and hearing the soft moans coming out of her, I know I’m gonna need her like this again and again. Watching her take this pleasure from me is intoxicating as I begin to lose myself in her. The way she’s moving, the way her skin smells with the light scent of her perfume, the way her hair feels as it brushes along the skin of my arms—it’s a heady combination of elements that consumes my senses, but I still crave more.
Kissing her breasts, enjoying the feel of her soft skin against my lips, her body shudders as she rocks her hips into me. She’s clinging tightly to me, and I can hear her unsteady breathing picking up. I’m able to read her body after all the times we’ve been together, so when her thighs tighten on me and her body grows more rigid, I know she’s getting close, and knowing that she’s giving herself this makes it all the better for me.
“Look at me, baby. I want to watch you come,” I tell her as she leans her damp forehead against mine and opens her eyes.
She grips my hair in her hands, and I begin to feel her pulse around me.
“God, Candace,” I moan, unable to hold on anymore, and she’s right here with me as she rides out her pleasure, all the while giving me an intense release. Heat explodes throughout my body as she continues to move over me. I run my hand up her back and catch the sweat rolling down her spine. She lets go of a heavy breath, laced with a whimper, as she draws out the last of her orgasm with me.
My heart is pounding, and I can barely keep myself upright, so I hold her close and lie us down. Candace brushes the hair off of my forehead, and when she does, I tell her, “‘I love you’ will never be enough for what I feel for you.”
She smiles, planting her lips on mine, and I keep myself inside of her as I pull the sheets over us and band my arms around her. This is the part I love. Having her completely content in my arms. Eyes closed and peaceful.
Candace scares me out of a deep sleep when she violently thrashes up, gasping for air. Her breaths hit hard as she fists the sheets, knuckles white, completely shaken.
“Babe, are you okay?” I ask as I pull the sheet up to cover her bare chest, knowing how modest she is. She clutches the sheet and begins to cry as she brings her knees up to her chest.
“Baby, it’s just us,” I assure as I pull her into my arms.
She’s tucked in a ball as I move her between my legs and cuddle her against my chest. She hasn’t scared me like this in a while, and I can tell that she’s completely overwhelmed right now, so I keep her close, stroking her back as I soothe her.
“I’m sorry,” she mutters when her cries weaken.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
Taking in a deep breath, she lets it out slowly while I ask again, “Are you okay?”
She nods her head and sits up in my arms as I run my fingers under her eyes.
“I forgot to take my pill,” she says to me.
“Shit, babe. I’m sorry,” I tell her, feeling guilty that I didn’t ask her before we fell sleep. I brought her home and never gave her a moment before we made love and went to bed.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Where are they?”
“In my purse, but it’s too late to take it now,” she says, and when I grab my phone and touch the screen, it reads a quarter past three.
She’s right. If she took her pill now, she’d sleep most of the day.
“What do you wanna do?” I ask.
“Nothing. It’s fine,” she tries telling me, but I know it isn’t. I remember her last nightmare, and I worry if she falls asleep that it could happen again. “Ryan, I promise,” she says, sensing my concern. “Let’s go back to sleep.”
I lay her down, but keep her tucked into me and wrap my body around her from behind. We spend the rest of the night in a state of restless sleep because she continues to toss and turn, and I find myself awake and watching her as she drifts in and out.
When we arrive at my mom’s the following day, it’s late, and Candace is overly exhausted with a bad headache, so she goes to bed early while my mom and I stay up visiting. By the time I wake up the next morning, Candace is already out of bed and downstairs with my mom. While drinking our coffee, Mom mentions that she has to drive out to Portland for the day to take care of few things, leaving the day open for me and Candace.
While Candace is in the shower, I check the weather report, figuring I’ll take her to Indian Beach to try and get her up on a board. When the bathroom door opens, she’s wearing nothing but a towel and leftover drops of water, and suddenly, she has my full attention.
“Fuck, babe,” I say as I walk towards her.
Holding her hand out to my chest to keep me from coming any closer, she says, “Don’t start. Your mother is downstairs.”
“I don’t care who the fuck is downstairs when the only thing covering your wet body is that towel.”
“That’s why I’m getting my clothes,” she says with a smile before running back to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
Once she’s dressed and comes back into the bedroom, I start getting my things together and tell her, “Tori has an extra wetsuit in my closet that should fit you okay.”
“What?”
“Surfing. You and me.”
“I’m fine with trying anything new, but that water is freezing,” she says.
“I promise, when you’re in that wetsuit, you’ll be fine. Tori loves to surf, so she has her wetsuit here and some swimsuits in my closet.”
Grabbing Tori’s wetsuit, Candace finishes getting ready before we hop into my Rubicon and head to Indian Beach.
Candace is such a sport about being outdoors, and it’s great that we share that. The running, the hiking, and now, getting her up on a board—she’s a natural and is taking her first wave in on her second try. I knew she’d be great at it, and she didn’t let me down. We spend the morning hanging out in the water and having fun with each other. When we aren’t surfing, she’s fighting me when I try getting frisky with her.
After a few hours, we decide to call it and head back. She’s freezing and wrapped up in blankets that I packed in the car. When we get back, she heads upstairs to take a hot shower and warm up. I unload the jeep, giving her just enough time before I go up to join her. I made a bet with her on the beach that if I got her up on the board, I would get a little action from her. I know she thought I was just kidding around, but when I strip off my clothes and walk into the bathroom, I take a moment to look at her through the fogged glass of the large walk-in shower before opening the door.
“What are you doing?!” she startles as I close the door behind me and wrap my arms around her.
“It’s time to ante up, babe,” I tease as I duck my head under the water and then push her against the glass wall. She gasps as the cold surface meets her skin, arching into me in response.
She doesn’t push me away or make light in this moment. She stays quiet as I dip my head to kiss her. Gripping my hands behind her thighs, I easily lift her off her feet as she wraps her legs around my waist. My mouth runs down her wet neck, licking and sucking as she holds on to me, breathing heavily at my touch.
The water cascades down her naked body, between her breasts where my hand finds her, squeezing her soft flesh. When I press myself against her, she breathes hard, “I want you.”
“I don’t have anything with me in here,” I tell her, but before I can set her down so that we can move this to the bed, she says, “It’s okay. I’ve been on the pill for a while. I trust you.”
“When did you get on the pill, babe?” I ask in shock, never knowing that she did this.
“I’ve been on it. I got it . . .” She hesitates before finishing, “I got on it after what happened.”
Leaning my head on her shoulder, I sigh as she assures me, “It’s okay. I just want you.”
“I’ve never . . . I promise you I’ve always been safe,” I tell her. “I’ve never been with anyone without a condom.”
“You don’t have to explain. I know you’d never do anything to hurt me.”
She holds my face when I kiss her, water seaming between our lips as it falls over us. I focus on her mouth, exploring it with my tongue, tasting her slow and deep. Her arms stay slung around my neck, hands trussed in my hair as I begin to drag my kisses along her neck and down to her chest. Lowering my head, I circle her nipple with my tongue before gently sucking it into my mouth, pressing my tongue against the hardened bud.
Her body writhes in my arms, and I pull back to look at her when I move my hands under her bottom and lift her up, reaching down to hold myself for her. Slowly, with her head rested on mine, I lower her down. We take each other completely as our bare flesh meets, and I slide myself inside of her. She’s so warm; she always has been, but to feel her like this, to have her give me this, I know it comes solely from our love for each other.
The air is heavy with steam, making my breaths ragged as I hold on to her. She clings her arms tightly around my shoulders, hugging me as I listen to her soft panting in my ear. I pull her off the wall and simply hold her. Feeling her naked body with mine. Savoring having her this close to me. Bared to each other with nothing but trust.
She draws her head back to look at me, and when she does, she brushes her lips across mine, breathing into me, “I love you.”
With those words, I use my hands to move her, and when I do, I find it hard to stand with the pleasure that courses through me. Being inside of her like this, nothing separating us, it’s an intensity that takes over my body. I turn so I can rest my back against the glass as I lift her back up and let her descend slowly down on me. Her legs are tight around my hips as I steadily maneuver her up and down.
It’s hard to hold on to everything I’m feeling in this moment, and the pleasure moves us to the floor of the shower. I sit back against the wall as she keeps her legs wrapped around my body. The air is thick and she’s all around me as I watch her. She’s stunning with her soft eyes on me, her labored breaths escaping her lips, fingertips pressing into my back as we move together. Never in a rush, because I need this. Every piece of this.
“God, I want you,” I say on a heavy breath, and she braces her arms around my neck, using the leverage as she sways her hips into me.
“You have me.”
When her body begins to respond, she drops her eyes to mine. I don’t even have to tell her, she just knows. It’s my security of knowing that she’s always with me in this moment. Never wanting her mind to drift. It shouldn’t be the reason, but it is, and it’s something that, even though it originates from such an ugly place, has become something I can redeem with her, because she’s so beautiful when she comes.
My muscles tense up when I feel her spasm around me, moaning my name in the heat of the air as we both lose ourselves to each other. The pleasure she gives me radiates through my entire being, and I clutch my hands to her hips when our movements begin to falter as passion takes over.
She’s incredible. She doesn’t know it, and if I told her, she’d deny my words, so I don’t speak. We just remain like this, together, on the bottom of the shower as our tired bodies collapse against one another.
We decide to stay the week here, so after Candace spends a couple of days with my mom, shopping and dining out, leaving me to fend for myself, I choose to steal her for the day.
We went to Astoria this morning for a late breakfast with Tori and the kids, and now I’m driving her up to Washington to take her to Long Beach to drive her along the water and spend the rest of the day together.
When we get there, I pull off the road and onto the sand, and she asks, “Are you sure this is okay?”
Laughing at her, I say, “Yes. Everyone does it.” When I pass a sign that states the driving dates for the beach, I point, and tell her, “See. There’s the proof,” with a smile.
It’s still cold this time of year, and today can’t be any higher than fifty degrees, so aside from a group of guys hanging out, the place is pretty empty. We drive along the water, and I get a kick out of her laughing the whole time. The simple fact that driving on sand can make this girl so giddy is a trip, and I’m enjoying every giggle coming out of her.
Pulling away from the water, I find a spot back by the sea oats that’s already set up for a fire. I pull the jeep up the beach and park.
“You wanna grab the blankets?” I ask as we get out of the car.
I open the back hatch and pull out the firewood to start a fire while Candace bundles up. Once I have the fire going, I sit next to her, wrapping the blankets around the both of us as she cuddles into me.
“I had fun at Tori’s this morning,” she says as she clutches the blanket to her. “She’s really nice.”
“Yeah, she is.”
“So her mom is Donna’s sister?”
“Uh huh.”
She laughs quietly, saying, “It’s hard to keep it straight.”
“It’s my mom and her two sisters. And then all my cousins are girls as well,” I explain. “Tori and I always linked up because of our age, and she’s really into surfing too, so we get together a lot to hit the beach.”
When the wind kicks up, she turns her head and rests it on my chest. “I was wondering something.”
“What’s that?”
“If that’s the house you grew up in, why does your mom still live there?”
“I don’t know. I asked her that not too long ago,” I tell her. “She told me that she loves the house and that she chooses to remember all the good memories we had there.”
“What about you?” she asks as she looks up at me.
Adjusting to pull her between my legs, I lean back against the log lying behind me before answering her. “It’s hard for me to remember anything good. Being in that house is sometimes hard on me. I’ll see things that remind me of a particular beating and stuff like that, and it dredges up a lot of shit for me.”
She lets go of the blanket and wraps her arms around me, asking, “Why did she stay?”
“Honestly . . . I never asked her. Now that I’m older, I would just assume that she was scared. Worried about how she would support the two of us if she did leave.”
She doesn’t say anything, just leans into me as we hold on to each other. I stare into the fire when I continue to talk and explain, “My dad was a frightening man. I was terrified of him. Scared he was going to kill my mom one day. He would drink heavily and lose control. You never knew how far he would go. I used to sit and watch him beat her, scared if I left that he might go too far and I wouldn’t be able to help her.”
“So you watched?” she asks, horrified.
“I couldn’t say anything because every time I would scream for him to stop, he would just go harder on her, making it worse.”
“I can’t even imagine. But what about you?”
“He hated me, Candace. At least with my mom, he had once loved her. But never me. He didn’t give a shit what he did to me. I was always walking around in pain. Broken ribs, concussions. That’s mostly why I started using X. It just felt good.”
She looks at me, and I watch her eyes puddle with tears that don’t fall.
“And nobody ever knew? Nobody helped you?” she questions.
“The only other person who knows, beside me and my mom, is you.”
“No one in your family?”
“Only you,” I tell her.
“Does Donna know that I know?”
“No.”
She shifts to her knees and faces me. I know she doesn’t know how to respond to everything I just laid on her, so I take away the pressure when I hold her face and kiss her. She grips my wrists with her hands, and I keep my eyes open as I watch her tears finally fall.
I pull back and wipe her cheeks before I lie us down on the pile of blankets in the sand, the only heat from her and the fire. I’ve never unloaded this weight that I’ve been carrying for years the way she allows me to.
“You’re the strongest person I know,” she whispers against my neck.
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“Before I met you, I hid everything. I was selfish and used people. I was weak.”
“But you’re not now. I don’t see any of that in you,” she says, and I know the only reason for that is her.
