Текст книги "Mine"

Автор книги: Dimon HelenKay

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The way she said it mirrored how he would have said it. On this, they were on the same page. “And you joined to stop them?”

“Yes.” She held up two fingers and wiggled them in front of his face. “That was two questions, by the way.”

Before she could say anything, she grabbed the hatchet. Performed the same drawn-out routine. Ended with her arm out and in perfect alignment with the target. With the blade embedded in the pseudo-circle she matched her first near-perfect throw with a second one.

She spun around on the heel of her boot and smiled at him. “Why did you leave the Army?”

“I was done being the government’s bitch.”

Her smile fell. “Now who’s giving a bullshit response?”

He held up his hands in fake surrender. “Totally true. I had been trained to track, to hide and to kill. I did my time and was done. Reached my limit and got out rather than re-upping.”

Maybe it sounded like a line, but it wasn’t. Every word rang true. He’d been raised to join the military and serve his country. There wasn’t an alternative plan, according to his father. Forget college or taking a year off. They had a responsibility, and each one of them, one after the other, lived up to it.

His dad died of cancer before Andy ever joined, but the man’s stern discipline and unbending belief system had rubbed off on all of them by then. It took Gabe years to break free from his father’s oppressive mental hold. Watching him push Andy to the point of cracking with all those “be a real man” comments finally did it.

“How many people have you killed?” she asked, without a trace of judgment.

Still, no fucking way was he answering that one. A number flashed in his mind and he had no intention of sharing it. “It’s not your turn.”

He took off for the target and slid the hatchet out. He barely made it back to the line before turning and letting the hatchet fly. Didn’t even look to see if it hit the circle before he started with his next question. “Who taught you that some men need killing?”

She hesitated as she stared at the handle sticking out from the target. A few seconds passed, then she looked at him again. “My father, but I’m guessing you knew that.”

There might be things she could hide, but not this. Her file outlined some pretty awful family secrets. He didn’t know all the details, but he knew enough. Enough to know her father killed her mother and that he should kick his own ass for asking the question in the first place.

She nodded. “Right, that’s what I thought.”

“Natalie.”

“Technically, that was your three.” She brushed her hands against her jeans and bent down to retrieve her gloves. Slid them on, one at a time, before heading for the steps.

He called out to her. “You have one more chance.”

She didn’t even bother to look around before she hit the door and opened it. “I’m suddenly not in the mood for games.”

Yeah, neither was he.

SIX

Silence might be golden but it was slowly driving Natalie nuts. She’d grown accustomed to the bustle of the office and being on call twenty-four hours a day. Going from being needed and vital to an operation to sitting in a cabin staring at a wall made her want to claw her way through it.

Sure, she had to be on guard in case anyone came after her. Even though she now saw the futility of running from Gabe and his assistance, she wasn’t the type to hide while he took the hits. Not her style at all. But in between those stark moments of tension were long periods of unending boredom that books and cards couldn’t shake.

But now something else worked its way into the cabin. A heated sensation. A simmering just below the surface. They hadn’t said a word since the hatchet game. Hours had passed, and they sat across from each other at the small folding table Gabe set up after he finally got bored with cutting wood.

The soup came from a can, but it was warm and it was food of some sort, so she didn’t complain as she’d dumped it into a saucepan and figured out how to heat the burner. She’d had worse. In survivalist training she’d had to go days on little sleep and dig for worms. The whole deal. It supposedly toughened her, but honestly, she was pretty damn tough already.

In those moments when her confidence faltered she let the memories flood her mind. All the blood. Her mother’s screaming. The knife. Amazing how that could shift her whole world back into perspective.

Despite all the turmoil of the past two months, those old haunting memories had remained blocked. She’d had enough to deal with thanks to the immediate danger. Watching her team walk into a setup on a rogue mission. Being called in to answer questions. Hunting the mole while Elijah and the rest of the team scattered, only to be picked off one after the other. She’d stepped in, thrown her weight around, took risks she never thought she’d take to save the last two—Elijah and Becca—but not before facing down another bloodbath.

It was as if death followed her. But never, during all of those dark CIA days and the ones that followed at the negotiating table, listening to Bast weave his magic with words and schemes that made her think he’d missed his calling by being a lawyer instead of an agent, had she called up the soul-sucking memories from those years before. Not until Gabe stood outside today and asked his question. Now the images ran through her mind until all she wanted to do was forget.

Done with the thin broth, she dropped her spoon next to the bowl with a soft clink and glanced across the table. “Since I cooked, you get to do the dishes.”

“Technically, you opened a can.” He actually grinned at her. Sent all that smoking heat in her direction.

She never knew she had a thing for beards or big men or quiet talkers until him. But the punch of that combination made her dizzy. And she didn’t get breathless or silly for any man, not before him.

She cleared her throat because she had to. “Same thing.”

“Not really.”

A knocking sound grabbed her attention. It took her a second to realize it came from under the table where she’d crossed one leg over the other. Seemed one foot had taken to a fit of wild jumping. She rested a palm against her knee to stop it. “You’re an expert at cooking, too?”

He leaned back with his arms folded behind his head. “I know my way around most rooms in the house, including a kitchen.”

Prey. That was the only way to describe what set off the wild thumping inside her. She suddenly knew what a gazelle felt like the second before a big cat pounced.

She forced her voice to stay even. “You sound very domesticated.”

“I am.”

“You, the former sniper.” That didn’t make any sense to her. She pictured him going from assignment to assignment, bedding women here and there. Enjoying a country then moving on, with brief stops at what functioned as home for him before heading out into danger again.

The chair screeched against the wood floor as he sat up straight again. “Not to keep throwing the word out there, but technically I’m still a sniper.”

The move put him closer. A table still separated them, but she was ten seconds away from flipping the thing to get to him. The answer was to circle back to a safer topic. Something mundane and not open to debate. “Well, the cooking might help if you ever decide to put the gun away and settle down to start a family, but I don’t think the other skills will.”

“Already did.”

Words screeched to a halt in her brain. “What?”

He rested his elbows on the table and stared her down. “I have a family.”

The air hiccupped in her lungs. So much for thinking anything with this guy would run smoothly.

“You mean your brother Andy?” She’d met him in the office. Actually, knew him from before, back when she knew Andy and Elijah slept together on a regular basis because Eli was on her team and her responsibility. Even knew that when Eli walked out, Andy struggled to deal and ended up in a rough place. She could understand why Gabe might be protective. It seemed ingrained in his DNA.

“I mean my son.”

“I just . . . You mean . . . ”

He leaned in. “Yes?”

He just put it out there. No explanation or anything. Surely he was joking or she misunderstood . . . but he just sat there.

When she just sat there, he continued to stare. Finally, he spoke up again, which was good because she couldn’t find the words. “I have a son.”

That couldn’t be right. She’d read his file and wanted to shake her head in denial, but she could see the truth in his eyes. She struggled to imagine him as a dad. Holding a kid and throwing a ball. All normal, or so she’d seen on television and in movies. Her life had never worked that way. She knew exactly what it was like to have a lethal father, but not Gabe’s kind of lethal. Not the controlled kind.

And a kid meant a wife or a girlfriend. Yeah, that.

A wave of nausea rolled over her. She was going to kick his ass if he really thought she’d be some sort of vacation candy for him.

She dropped both feet to the floor, ready to shove him if needed. “You have a kid?”

“That’s what ‘son’ means.”

Wrong time to be a smartass. She still had that gun he gave her. He’d be wise to remember that. “So, you’re married?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t say that.”

“Divorced?”

“Never.”

The game of verbal gymnastics ended right now. A sudden fury on behalf of a woman she didn’t know and envied in a weird way overtook Natalie. “All those passes and comments about getting me into bed—”

“Which is not something I do on a job.”

“—and you have a wife.” Her voice vibrated from the restraint of not launching across the table to smack his smug face.

He shook his head. “No wife.”

The two words had the tension fizzling out, but Natalie’s head kept spinning. Her emotions bounced from anger to relief. Fought with being ticked off for feeling either. He was her bodyguard, and an unwanted one at that. Getting wrapped up in his life, caring, all amounted to a huge mistake.

She’d seen the signs in agents over the years. They got sucked in, and their lives imploded. Of course, she’d moved past implosion a month ago. There wasn’t much further for her to fall.

“I give up. You said not divorced, so is she dead?” Natalie blurted out the question because there really was no way to finesse it. Not now.

“She never existed.”

Something blinked inside her brain. “I don’t—”

He smiled. “You know how babies get here, right? Being married isn’t a mandatory thing.”

Like that, a wave of heat flashed through her. Him, in bed. Sex. Coming inside her. She was never going to survive this captivity that was supposed to save her. “I can’t figure out if you’re joking.”

A nerve ticked in Gabe’s cheek. “I don’t joke about him, ever. Never talk about him on a job either, so this is new.”

That sounded more like the guy she’d come to know. Dependable and clear. “Your file didn’t mention a son.”

“I’ve had some help keeping his existence under wraps.” He grew even more serious. “For his protection.”

“Where is he now?”

“In school.”

Back to curt answers, but that one told her enough. It also deflated her all over again. “You send him away so you can play G.I. Joe?”

His eyes widened. “Wow, so many assumptions in one question.”

Yeah, probably too harsh. Likely unfair. She didn’t care. Not in that moment. Not when she could remember sitting in her room during holidays and having dinners with the staff. She’d been one of the charity cases that the school staff passed around because no one wanted to pick her up and take her home. She didn’t really have one of those.

“Am I wrong?” she asked, hoping she was.

“About almost everything in that sentence, yes.” When she started to ask more, he cut her off. “Is this some sort of payback for the comment about your father?”

The question shut down something inside her. He knew enough about her past to throw her those pitying looks. She’d experienced those her entire life and had no interest in dealing with them as an adult.

Being vulnerable sucked. “No.”

“Because I shouldn’t have gone—”

“I said no.” She jumped up, needing to walk or move or at least get away from him and the table. She scooped up her bowl and held out a hand to him. “You done?”

“I’ll do the dishes.”

Even better. She dropped her bowl, letting it clank against the table. “Good.”

She got as far as the doorway to the bedroom before his deep voice stopped her. “Natalie?”

With a hand on the frame, she stopped but didn’t bother to look around. “What?”

Silence settled between them. For a few seconds he didn’t say anything. “Nothing.”

SEVEN

Gabe stayed outside as long as he could stand it. Walked the perimeter and re-walked it. Spent some time in the shed. Checked coordinates and the satphone for emergency messages from Andy. Nothing.

With his feet almost frozen and the cold sapping some of his strength, Gabe gave up and went back inside. Before opening the door, he knocked in the agreed-upon sequence to give her fair warning. After that dinner, she might shoot him just for fun.

He walked into the dark cabin and relocked the door. An oil lamp cast the main room in a soft light and heat poured out of the woodstove. He should sit his ass down on the small couch and time out a thirty-minute break before he got up and took watch duty again.

He probably would have done just that if he hadn’t looked into the small alcove by the front door. A doorway to the bed. The mattress just fit, with the edges touching every wall. A small bed in a small space. Going in there spelled disaster. He should walk away. Ignore the need pulling at him to lie across the bed and listen to her breathing.

As if her senses clicked on, she sat straight up. Brushed that sexy hair out of her eyes and squinted. He could see her just fine. Make out every devastating curve despite the covers she had bunched up at her waist. That thermal shirt sure didn’t offer much protection. Not from him.

“Hey.” That’s all she said. A simple greeting.

It pulled him in close. Before he knew it, he stood in the doorway with his knees balancing against the end of the mattress. “Sorry to wake you.”

“You didn’t.” She didn’t even look away as she lied. “I thought you’d keep watch.”

Before dinner he’d gone over all the procedures and the drop spots for her to get to in case danger came calling. She knew about his patrols and the perimeter defense he’d set up. She even spent time watching with her gun ready as he rested for a few minutes while she prepared the soup. He didn’t need to explain what he was doing now, but he did anyway. “I’m taking thirty minutes.”

“Sounds smart.” She slid over, making room for him to basically fall onto the mattress.

This was the part where he should have said “no thanks” and moved on. He knew that as he took off his gun and put it on the one shelf overhanging the mattress. As he put a knee on the bed and crawled up to join her on the pillows.

A few seconds later, he lay flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. “I don’t sleep very deep, so you’re fine.”

She curled on her side and faced away from him. “I guess that’s a good trait. Having a kid and all.”

This was the right time to tell her about Brandon. She talked about him like he was in elementary school and abandoned by his father, which probably made sense to her in light of Gabe’s age, but didn’t come close to being right. But for some reason he couldn’t get the words out. Not after seeing the mix of shock and disappointment on her face.

Whatever esteem she’d had for him had fallen, and that pissed him off. He wanted to earn it back without having to give her every detail. And up until now she hadn’t exactly been shy about asking him things or speaking her mind.

He turned and faced her back. Pushed up on his elbow and watched her. “Do you want to ask me something?”

“Do you see him?” she asked, in a voice muffled by blankets and pillows.

“All the time.” Letting Brandon live a normal life had been a daily struggle for Gabe. His instincts told him to protect and hide, but his early years with his father had been such a shitshow that he refused to take Brandon down the same path. The kid had been blessed with book smarts and street smarts, and Gabe had to let go enough to trust those.

She rolled to her back. Didn’t face Gabe but kept her eyes open as she stared into space. “So, it’s not like you sent him away to a boarding school in another country.”

As much as her immediate belief that he left his kid behind pissed him off, he did like the way she rushed to Brandon’s defense. Didn’t even know him and her first thought was to protect him. All those men who tagged her as being cold and unfeeling were jackasses.

“He’s very close by at all times,” Gabe said, carefully dodging the wrong words.

She glanced at him then. “Here?”

“I live in Virginia.” Not that he ever divulged that information. Anything that could possibly threaten Brandon and his normal life caused Gabe to hold back. But for some reason, he trusted her to know this much.

“Your file says Maryland.”

Of course it did, because that’s what he let people think. “A lie.”

“I’m surprised you shared that with me.”

“Me, too.” The place in Maryland was a real place but just an outpost of Tosh. A business property, not his house.

She laughed. “Now that’s the Gabe I’ve come to know.”

The sound of her voice was contagious. The thoughts running through his mind . . . her under those sheets . . . “Are you a danger to me, Natalie?”

“Only if you act like an asshole.”

And there was the Natalie he’d come to know. “I could be in trouble then.”

Her smile and her gaze skipped away from his face to the wall behind his head. “It just sucks to be sent away. That’s all.”

He wondered how long it would take her to circle back there. “Like you were?”

“Do you have my file memorized?” Her gaze met his.

“Pretty much.” He reached out and smoothed the hair off her cheek. Let the silky strands slip between his fingers. “I know the basics. Your uncle got custody and sent you to a girls’ boarding school.”

“Right.”

His fingers lingered on the side of her face, brushing over her soft skin. “I’m guessing it sucked.”

Her eyes searched his. “Are you saying that because you’re worried about your son?”

Now was the time. He could just set the record straight and move on . . . but the need to test her pulled at him. “The situation is very different.”

“Forget I said anything.”

He dropped his hand to the mattress. “I think you’re disappointed in me.”

“I don’t know you.” She looked away, but not before a shadow moved behind her eyes.

“We’re in bed together.” Him on top of the covers and her beneath, but the inches of material didn’t matter. Being right on the edge, if she gave him the okay he might just rip through the covers to get to her.

“I thought you were supposed to be sleeping.” She picked at the blanket. Folded it down and tucked it under her armpits.

The shirt outlined her breasts. No bra here. That meant no sleep for him. Blew his concentration all to hell as well. “Not really in the mood right now.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Touch you.” A stupid but honest answer, and it was out there now.

He started to get up, move away. Last thing he wanted was for her to worry that the threats to her safety started inside the cabin. No matter how many times he told her she held the power and he had full control over his needs when he dropped his zipper, he needed to back it up by showing her.

“Do it.”

The scratch in her voice hit him first. He froze, then sank back down with his weight on his elbow. “I’m not sure that’s a great idea.”

“Me either, but I want you to.” She lifted her hand and traced the backs of her fingers over the scruff of his beard. “Just wipe everything away.”

He could give her relief. Let her find a release of some of the tension trapped inside her. She deserved that. Probably needed to find some sense of peace, if only for a few minutes. But that meant touching her, just like he’d been aching to do.

The call to forget the job and lose himself in her echoed in his head until he couldn’t hear anything else. He’d taken this assignment instead of farming it out to his team because he needed a diversion. Rick kept coming around, insisting they talk. Gabe had never been a runner, but he’d needed to break away. Gain perspective. Not kill Rick even though every word he uttered begged for it.

“Here.” She took Gabe’s hand, weaving her fingers through his.

Her warm palm pressed against his as her shoulder touched his arm. The brush must have had her nerves jumping around because her legs shifted in a flurry of constant motion. She’d gone from stiff with an expression of deep concern, to one of wonder.

A danger sign flashed in his brain. He should drop her hand and scoot his ass off that bed. Should have done a lot of things. He picked kissing her. Not a shattering move. A simple one. Lifted their joint hands and pressed his lips to the back of hers. Licked his tongue down to her wrist.

She watched him, her gaze following every touch. “The beard.”

“You don’t like it?”

“The opposite.” She traced a finger around his mouth. “I can’t help but wonder what it will feel like everywhere.”

Jesus. “You are a temptation, Natalie Udall.”

And that was a fucking understatement.

He didn’t hold back one more second. Shifting his weight, he leaned in, giving her all the time to pull back, slap him, hell, knee him in the groin. But none of that headed his way. If anything, she lifted her chin, bringing her mouth closer to his.

Then he was kissing her. Not sweet or lingering. No, he dove right into a devouring, oxygen-sucking kiss. Heat blasted around him as a hand slipped around her waist and tugged her in closer. Soft grumbling sounds filled the room as he crossed his mouth over hers.

Forget treading water. Hands, lips, the sweep of his tongue over hers . . . it all mixed together and combined to pull him under. Before his brain could send a signal to his hands to keep still, they started moving.

His fingers slid under the covers. Over her stomach, learning every amazing curve. He didn’t stop until his palm rested on top of her underwear. Her heat warmed his hand. Raising his head, his gaze locked with hers as he started a gentle rub, a brushing back and forth of his thumb, inching lower.

When she opened her legs even wider, he peeled away the sheets and blankets cocooning her. Pushed them to the side, freeing her.

He needed to see her, all of her. Touch her.

A sudden burst of energy pumped through him. He could feel his nerve endings snapping to life as he trailed his fingertips along the inside of her thigh. The lean muscles intrigued him, but the softness of her skin turned him inside out. The curves, every inch of her alive with feminine power.

She didn’t wait for him. She covered his hand with hers and brought his fingers right to the place she wanted them—between her legs—pressing them tight against her.

He leaned down and kissed her neck. Felt the thump of her erratic heartbeat under his lips. His mouth traveled over her as his finger slipped under the elastic band of her underwear. Over the soft patch of hair. Sliding down as he drew the tip through the wetness there.

He circled and caressed as her muscles tightened. “You’re ready.”

“Yes.” Her fingers clenched against his arm.

“This time.” He kissed a line from her throat to the back of her ear and felt her shiver in response. “But you won’t be in charge after this.”

“Yes.” She exhaled the word on a breath.

He eased his finger inside, just barely, and stopped. “Say it, Natalie.”

Her head shifted on the pillow as she reached down to drag him in deeper. “Now, Gabe.”

“I say when.” He toyed with her. Licking her ear. Rubbing his fingertip around her clit.

A low groan rumbled in her throat. Her knees rose and her inner muscles clamped down on him.

Sweet damn, she was ready. Her body begged for more, and he needed to see her lose it. Watch that mouth drop open and feel her close around him. But not yet. He knew he could get her there, make them both ache for release.

He kissed her, deep and long, as his fingers slid in just a bit farther. When he raised his head, she grabbed the back of his neck and kept him close. “Gabe . . .”

“What do you need, baby?” He kissed his way back down her throat to that sexy collarbone. “Tell me.”

Her back arched. “I want to come.”

Good girl. He debated using his finger versus his mouth but the need to taste her overtook him. Sliding along the mattress, he took the covers with him, pushing them to the end of the bed. Of course she didn’t wear pants or sweats, because then he might have stood a chance against his need for her. He sat back on his heels and took in every last inch. Her long legs carried a faint hint of a tan from the summer that had ended months ago. From the dark purple toenails to the shadow at the edge of her underwear, he loved every secret she hid under all those boring work clothes. But he had one left to discover.

He skimmed shaking hands up the outsides of her legs and up her thighs. Didn’t stop until his fingers slid under the leg bands of her underwear and his palms traveled around to her ass. Firm and tight, her cheeks filled his palms perfectly. He’d enjoy that sensation another time. Now he needed her on his tongue.

He peeled the material down and off in one long, tortuous pull. Whipped the underwear behind him, not caring where it landed. With all his focus centered on her body and the peek of the flat stomach he saw beneath the hem of the shirt, he put his hands on her ankles. Pushed her legs up and out, opening her wide.

His shoulders fit perfectly between her thighs. He inched his way in as her scent filled his head. At first his finger dipped inside her. Then, no longer able to play and tease, he slid his finger deep and felt her pulse around him. His tongue danced across her clit while his finger pumped inside her, first slow then fast, then back to slow again.

Stiffness settled in her muscles and her fists twisted in the sheet underneath her. He did not stop. He licked inside her, tasting her as a tremble moved through her. He felt every pulse and every shift. When her hips lifted, he blew a breath of hot air over her that had her insides clenching.

The tension wound around them, and the room filled with a thumping sound from the leg of the bed against the old floor and the heavy breaths escaping her lungs. All those days of wanting her piled up on him. He increased the pressure, so slightly. Pressed a second finger inside her and opened them to caress her slickness with his mouth.

With the last swipe of his tongue, her body went wild. Her hips bucked and she whispered his name. Those beautiful eyes drifted shut as her chin lifted. He sat there, taking in every moment of the stunning view playing out in front of him. The long line of her body and tightening of every muscle inside and out. When she let her body go, she came with a rush and a punch of an exhale that had her dropping back into the mattress.

For a few seconds, he stayed there, with her legs wrapped around him. The temptation to get up and slide inside her nearly overtook him. But this moment was for her. She’d had her world tossed upside down, her life dissected, been pushed around and dragged across the country by him. She deserved a release of tension and a few minutes to think. He needed an ice bath.

When she tugged on his arm, he gave in. Crawled up her body, stopping to kiss a sliver of exposed stomach, before settling in beside her. Before he could roll over and away from her, she had her arm around his back and her fingers brushing over his skin.

None of that helped him restore his common sense. “You okay?”

“That helped.”

He rested his forehead against hers as he struggled to keep his breathing even, or at least out of heart attack range. “Happy to hear it.”

When her mouth found his again, all thoughts of work and protection slipped from his mind. Those fingers trailed down his chest, burning a path through his shirt. Much more of this and they’d both be naked. No boundaries.

Yeah, he had to sit up. Walk away. Just for a second before he pulled them past the line between professional and very fucking personal.

Even with his brain scrambled, his muscles got the message. He leaned back, trying to put at inch of space between them. No way would he be able to stand up and slip out if she continued to touch him.

“I need to . . .” Yeah, that was close enough. He didn’t really have the strength to say much more.

He made it to the end of the bed and stopped. His legs better work or he’d fall on his ass. There was nothing impressive about that.

“Where are you going?” Amusement kept her voice light.

“Outside.” He barked out the word as he grabbed the doorjamb and stood up. He was half surprised he didn’t rip the wood from the wall.

“Gabe?”

“Huh?” He gave in and glanced over his shoulder at her then.

“Well”—she balanced her upper body on her elbows—“it’s freezing.”

That was the point. “I sure as hell hope so.”