Текст книги "HATE Sex"

Автор книги: Billy Storm

Соавторы: Sidda Lee Rain
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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 10 страниц)

Why do you care if she prefers waiting on old-timers instead of sorority girls and frat boys? I didn’t, I don’t.

Lost in my own fucked up thoughts, I almost miss her as she comes out of the diner and heads toward her car. Pulling my car up beside hers as she tosses her backpack in her trunk, I see the shock on her face when she slams the trunk shut. Skye doesn’t say anything as she heads to the drivers side door. I’m outta my car and pushing her door closed just as she opened it. “Skye!”

For a second, I don’t think she’s going to turn around and look at me let alone talk to me, but she does and the venom in her tone surprises even me. “Why the fuck are you here? Leave me the hell alone!”

Once again, I push the car door closed as she attempts to open it for a second time. “Dammit, Skye! You won’t answer my fucking calls or return my texts, hell, you won’t even read the fuckers!” Yeah, so I’m a little surprised by my own anger but…Come. The. Fuck. On.

“Take. The. Fucking. Hint. Then.” After each damn word her finger pokes into my flesh and all I can think about is how I like the sting as much as the spark in her eyes. My eyes are locked on the finger she has pressed tight against my chest still.

“You wanna know what hints I’m taking?” Stepping closer, I don’t stop until my body is pressed up against hers, and her back is against her car window with her hand trapped between our bodies. “I’m taking the hint when you yelled at me to shut up and fuck you.”

She says nothing. I look up from where I’d zoned in on her palm that now rested—rather was trapped, between us. Her eyes are wide and her mouth parts in disbelief, as if she’s rearing to argue. I laugh. Well aware that it sounds bitter.

“You’re such a pig!”

“Shut up, Skye!”

“I will not shut up, Jaden!” she screams at me. “I won’t shut up! You were a big ass mistake and one that won’t happen again!” By the time she finishes, her face is red and her body is shaking and I know it’s not from the warm rain that started to fall on us.

“A mistake? Us fucking was not a goddamn mistake!” I yell back at her so loud that my throat begins to burn.

“It was a mistake, you were a mistake!” she screams, still not as pissed as I am right now.

For the briefest moment, I think of getting out of the fucking rain, climbing into my car, and peeling the hell outta here. Fuck her, fuck Skye. Then go already! Leave! But I don’t, sonuvabitch…I can’t.

Neither of us wants to be the first one to cave, the one who can’t hold strong. It’s NOT going to be me. With a roar I can’t believe even comes from my already burning throat, I grab two handfuls of that curly long hair and smash my mouth against hers. I guess, it WAS me.

She fights me, but only for seconds, before her arms are wound tight around my neck, hands clenching my hair to the point of pain and she’s kissing me back with just as much brutal force as I’m kissing her with. “Now, right fucking now!” Knowing we’re standing in the back of the parking lot in the wide open for any one of these old folks to see us, I quickly push Skye behind the privacy fence that separates the property from the adjacent lot.

“No!” Skye suddenly snaps at me as she shoves me away from her body. I don’t go far. I’d never force myself on a woman, but I know damn well that she wants me as bad as I want her. When she pushes her now damp hair out of her face, I really look at her. Lips swollen from my mouth, skin flushed, mouth parted as she tries like hell to regain her breath, tits bouncing with each rise and fall of her chest. Goddammit, she’s gorgeous right now, right here with me.

Stepping closer, I stop instantly when her hand connects with my cheek. The burning pain snakes down my face and disappears into my neck. She hit me. Skye actually slapped me and from the look on her face, she’s as surprised by it as I am. Even though I see guilt play across the features I could sketch from memory, she quietly whispers, “I hate you, Jaden.” Her voice breaks, “I hate you so much.” And then her lips are pressed against mine once more but this time it’s gentle, too gentle. I can’t have gentle from Skye, I-I just can’t.

**Skye**

I hate him! I do—god…I want to hate him.

This time he ends the kiss and then whispers against my lips. “You don’t hate me, Skye. Just like I don’t hate you.” I can hardly believe the words even though I feel them as he speaks them against my lips. What I really hate? I hate that he’s right. It takes everything I have not to let the tears that are stinging the backs of my eyes free.

A single soft sob escapes before I can collect myself. Jaden heard it; he’s watching me fight for the control I want so desperately. But, when he takes me by the hand and leads me to the passengers side of his car, I suddenly realize that it’s not taking control I want, but letting it go. Without further argument, I hand it over to him without even a word.

I’m fighting an invisible battle in my own head and heart. Part of me wants to demand that he lets me go back to the diner’s parking lot to my car. Another part of me wants Jaden to take me wherever he wants and let him lead the way. Let him tell me what to do, show me what to do. I know it’s wrong. I do, but why doesn’t it feel wrong? What in the hell is wrong with you?

He doesn’t even look at me. His tanned hands show what a tight white-knuckle grip he has on the steering wheel. Jaden’s not just mad but he’s obviously straight into pissed off.

“I’m sorry I slapped you.” And, I was too. I’m not that girl. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid to do what I have to do to protect myself, but I’m not a slapper. I wasn’t in any danger from Jaden, how I know that I have no clue, I just do.

His whole body is strung tight, the air in the car…thick. The red mark on his cheek reminds me of just how fast this man can enrage me.

“I said I’m sorry, Jaden.” I say hardly above a whisper once again.

Still not a word in return.

Looking out the window, I wonder where he’s taking me and why the hell I’m not panicking? Absolutely none of this makes any sense—not one fucking drop of this makes sense.

After fifteen minutes, we pull into a neighborhood filled with new builds. Most of the homes don’t even have grass yet, but a few are filled with rows of freshly laid sod. Driving up the slight incline, Jaden reaches inside the center console and clicks a garage door opener. Pulling inside, he clicks it once more, closing the door behind us.

I hear Jaden take a deep breath and exhale loudly. Risking what I might see, I glance over at him and find him looking at me with an expression I can’t quite make out. He doesn’t look as angry, but still he remains silent. His scrutiny makes me uncomfortable, and I look away.

“I’m sorry, too.” That’s all he says and I’m not exactly positive what he’s sorry about, but I’m not about to ask. I angrily swipe the tear that has breached my defenses before he sees it. When the pad of his thumb sweeps across my cheek just after my own fingers, I see I was unsuccessful in concealing my emotions. “Don’t,” he whispers hoarsely to me and I’m surprised at how sincere he sounds…almost as if he cares. I know he doesn’t, but it did sound like he did just now. The concern in his eyes disappears as fast as it appeared.

Without shame, I watch the view as he gets out of the car and comes around to open my door. Who is this man? He confuses me from one minute to the next. He’s rude, he’s crude, and then he’s wiping my tears and opening doors.

I take the hand he extends and find myself standing in an almost empty garage. The heat radiating from the car is the only thing warming the cool concrete space.

One second I’m being pulled around the front of the car and the next I’m being kissed to the point of pain. His mouth is speaking the impatience that my body is quaking with. When our lips part, Jaden mumbles filthy words that shouldn’t ignite me but they do. Oh god, they do.

His going to fuck me until I ’ m screaming his name. He ’ s going to make me beg him to come. How he ’ s going to watch my tits bounce with each thrust.

I swear this man’s mouth has some kind of spell over me…black magic.

I hear the tearing before I look down and see my Pinkies t-shirt torn from the neckline down. Not that I can see where the rip ends, I haven’t seen my feet since I grew boobs in the eighth grade; all I see now is my black and purple bra.

Jaden’s hands are quickly unhooking my bra, and as soon as the satin and lace cups fall, I see the heat flare in his eyes. “Christ, woman!” he mutters just before taking my nipple in his mouth. His hand works my other breast and that has me wishing he’d move his mouth to that one too. Stepping back, his blatant perusal of my chest is exhilarating. He’s looking at me with a hunger that only I could satisfy, a thirst only my body could quench. Drink me, Jaden. Eat me, Jaden.

He says nothing; the only sounds are the cooling car echoing in the space mingled with our choppy breaths. In a single smooth motion, he reaches back and pulls his t-shirt up and over his head. Pushing me backward until the backs of my thighs hit the front of his Mercedes, he lays his shirt behind me on the hood. Oh. My. God. Here?

“Yes, I’m going to fuck you right here, Skye.”

Shit! Had I said that out loud?

His hands pop the button on my jeans, and within seconds, they’re around my ankles and I’m kicking them aside. When I reach for his jeans, he merely shakes his head. “One thing I know how to do is drop my pants.” He smirks with that bad boy look he pulls off so well and a charge runs through my body. “Panties. Off.” He all but snarls out and goosebumps dot my flesh at his command.

As soon as my panties hit the ground, I’m hauled up again and kissed as if his life depends on stealing my next breath. Well, he’ll live, I may not, but he will because he’s taken my last breath and guaranteed my next. Why the need to cry is so strong today, I’ll never know. Jesus! Is it the fact that he’s the only man who has gifted me with an orgasm? Is it because the feeling I’m being used is so strong? Maybe it’s the guilt knowing that’s all I’m doing to him? Using him. It could be…Rhett. Stop! My body needs this; I need this.

With his eyes locked on mine, I feel his fingertips find my already damp sex. He groans when my wetness coat the two fingers he slides inside of me. So many sensations overwhelm me, and I no longer know which way is up and I let my chin fall to my chest. Quickly, my forehead is pulled from where I rested it against the hot skin of Jaden’s chest. His pulse is racing against my head. At least, I think it is his pulse but then again, it could’ve been my own throbbing through me like a freight train. The stinging sensation from where Jaden grips my hair morphs into a welcomed burn. His knee widens my stance as his other hand continues to torment my sex. “Isn’t this where you pretend you don’t want this?”

His husky voice holds my attention as much as his words.

Swallowing, before I can even speak. “I don’t pre—“

“Yes, you do. You pretend you don’t want me to kiss you, to…” he leans closer and right against my ear, “fuck you.” Matching the rhythm of his fingers moving in and out of me, faster and faster he licks my earlobe making the cool silver hoop press against my neck. “C’mon, pretend for me, Skye. At least put on a show for me that you don’t want my dick in your snatch again.” His laugh that follows is mocking and I feel my temper building, even through the impending climax that is quickly approaching. “Hard to pretend though when you’re pussy juice is dripping down my hand, isn’t it?” This time his laugh is deeper and he tightens his hold on my hair. “What’s wrong, baby? Is the truth pissing you off?”

I say nothing. I want to push him away, I want to hit him, I want to be able to walk away from him but…but I can’t and that pisses me off more than any of his words.

I shake my head.

“Oh so we are pretending then, huh?” With a bump of his hips, I find my ass on his shirt lying on the hood of his Mercedes. Bracing myself on my elbows, I watch as he strokes himself once, twice and on the third stroke, I watch as a single drop drips from the small slit on the tip of his cock. “You know what I noticed?” Stroke. “You can’t keep up the show very well when my dick’s inside of you.” Stroke. “Let’s see, shall we?” Stroke.

My eyes close and I rest my back against the cooling metal of the luxury sedan, silently hoping I don’t dent the damn thing. That thought has a small smile on my lips.

“Fuck. You’re beautiful lying there waiting to be fucked,” he pants out, I open my eyes and watch as his hand picks up speed. “Show me how wet you are.”

My entire body tenses. Does he mean—

“Spread that pussy open and let me see, Skye,” he commands.

Everything in my body is telling me to do as he says. Hesitantly, I part my sex with two fingers. Just as I’m thinking of fleeing, Jaden growls, and the rumble paired with the desire in his eyes has me shamelessly caressing my clit as he watches.

“Keep going.”

I do as he says, but all I can think of is that I want him inside of me; I want him pounding into me, I want him to make me forget everything else but remember everything, too. My body is aching to the point there’s a pain deep within me that only he can stop at this moment. God, how I want him to stop it.

“Fuck!” he says and without warning, he is slamming into me in one ungraceful thrust.

I gasp as he thrusts into me over and over at a speed that surprises me. I can’t breathe! My god, I can’t breathe! I know he’s claiming me. Jaden is taking what he wants from me and I don’t do anything but allow him to take what he wants. My back sticks to the hood of the car and squeaks as the force of his hips slamming into mine cause me to slide on the car. He doesn’t slow. No, Jaden takes both of my breasts in his hands and kneads them before pinching my nipples, causing a bite of pain that I welcome, I crave, I fucking need.

“These tits—fuck these tits,” he mutters. “These. Are. Mine,” he says.

Looking down to where we are joined Jaden pulls himself out enough that only the head of his cock is still in me. “Look at that, fuck!” Pinching my nipples harder, he demands, “Goddammit, Skye, look at that shit!”

Raising myself back onto my elbows, I look down and see the swirls of creamy whiteness that coat his shaft and piercings and the sight has my core clenching. Jaden’s thrusting becomes harder when he feels my insides grabbing him.

“Can’t pretend that, sweetheart!”

“Shut up!” I yell at him. Jesus, why can’t he just fuck me? This doesn’t have to be social hour.

His answering laugh pisses me off even more.

The man is completely controlling my body.

He’s completely claiming me.

Yet, he mocks me.

When he crushes his mouth against mine, my anger gets the better of me, and I bite his lip, I bite it hard.

“Goddammit, Skye!”

His rough hands grab onto my ass, and Jaden begins lifting me each time he slams home.

“No more pretending,” he pants, “this pussy is mine, too.” With his eyes on mine, his jaw clenching tightly, he demands, “say it. Tell me it’s mine.”

His voice no longer sounds like his own, and the muscles in his jaw continue to twitch as he waits for me to the say the words he wants so badly. I refuse. The crack of his hand on my ass is no surprise. I expect it from him, but it still effects me more than I’d care to admit…to him at least.

“Tell. Me. Now.” Echoes from each smack paired with each word rings through the garage.

“Fuck you!” I yell at him as I try to strive closer to climaxing.

“Fucking tell me this pussy’s mine, woman!” he hollers.

When his fingertips start playing with my clit, I feel my eyes roll back in my head and I whisper, “fff-fuck you.” I feel his piercings with each fast withdrawal and even faster re-entry. That’s when it hits me. “Fuck!” It takes all I have to speak. “Con-con-oh god!” I gasp. “Condom!”

When my hand slams down on the hood, I hear the clank of my thumb ring hit. Jaden’s taking me with such force, he grunts with each thrust.

“Condom, Jaden!” I yell at him.

“Too late! I can’t…I can’t—“ And, I watch as his face contorts, the vein in his neck pulses angrily and he pushes into my body as deep as he can get. He comes so hard that the force and the heat from his come has me craving my orgasm with a hunger I’ve never felt before. “Can’t stop,” he says against my neck as his body twitches on mine from the aftershocks of his orgasm. “I’m done pretending with you, Skye.” I feel him take a deep breath against my skin. My flesh cools but then heats within seconds. “I fucking wish you’d stop pretending with me now,” he whispers.

Looking at me, he pulls out of my body and not so gently lifts me from the hood of his car. Grabbing his shirt that was beneath me he cleans himself off before handing it to me to do the same. My nerves buzz to life when I see his come mixed with my juices running down my thighs.

“I’m clean, Skye.” Jaden says as he hands me my jeans and underwear. I nod—it’s all I can do then. When my bra lands on the hood, I look up just in time to see his retreating back as he goes in the house leaving me to dress alone. Alone. And, it was the most alone I’ve ever felt in my entire life.

Suddenly, I feel sick.

Chapter Fourteen

**Jaden**

It’s been three days since I fucked Skye on the hood of my goddamn car in my own garage. I shake my head just thinking about it. I’d planned to take her home, to my bed. I’m not even sure why, but I wanted to have her in my home, my domain. I’d taken her against the desk in my office at the gym already and it just felt like I needed her here too. Well, I’d definitely gotten her. I’d fucked her like some goddamn animal and came prematurely like some wet behind the years fucking teenager too. Not my finest moment¸ but I really didn’t give a shit at the time either. The woman pissed me off like no one ever had.

This…what’s the word I’m looking for? I don’t know…This thing, I guess, between us started out as a one-time quickie, or so that’s what I thought it’d be. I was wrong. Once wasn’t enough. Nowhere near enough. I want her and I’m done fighting this battle with myself by saying she’s all wrong for me or I don’t do anything longer than a fuck or two.

Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t want anything more than sex. No, once bitten twice shy on the monogamous relationship shit. I’m quite happy with my fuck ‘em and forget ‘em way of life. It works for me—rather it did work for me until Skye. I still don’t know what the fuck it is about her.

Okay, so maybe I like the way she looks at me one second like she wants me dead, but soon enough she’s begging me to fuck her. I’ve never been with a woman so inhibited. Most chicks wanna make you believe that they’re open to anything in bed but when the time comes it’s a whole different story. Plus, there’s no faking it with her. She isn’t going to act like I’m some sex God and then go home and masturbate just so she climaxes. The other day in the garage, she didn’t come—I was being a bastard and I knew she hadn’t come and honestly, I didn’t want her to. I wanted her achy and uncomfortable, and fucking A I wanted her needing me.

For some damn reason, I needed those words from her. I wanted those full ass lips saying she was mine—I mean, that her pussy was mine. But did she? Fuck no. She refused over and over and basically told me off as my dick was buried deep inside of her. It pissed me off. She pissed me off. I’ve heard her orgasm on the phone and I’ve felt her orgasm when I was clenched inside those tight ass pussy walls of hers, and I didn’t want her coming. Yeah, I was bitter. Truth is I’m not used to not getting what I want and I wanted her complete submission and I wanted her admission that I owned her. Fine, there it is…I want to completely own her. Not as in his and hers towels and shit but only in bed or on a desk or on the hood of my goddamn car.

Yeah, my car there’s another reminder I see every fucking day. There’s a nice little inch long or so scratch from where her ring scraped along the paint. And, the killer part? I’m not even pissed. No, I get hard every time I look at the scratch like some fuckin’ perv. It’s a Mercedes for chrissake. Thing is? I’d fuck her thirty times over and let her scratch my hood every time if she’d let me.

Skye is basically haunting me. She’s put her mark on my car, I replay the other day each time I pull in or outta my garage. I swear I can still smell her in my office. She’s invading my thoughts. Yesterday, I was spotting for a client while bench pressing and I asked him if he wanted a lift off and then I completely spaced. Only when Todd said my weight a couple of times did I realize my hands were gripped on the bar. I don’t fucking hold ever, I follow.

It’s just so confusing. We make no sense, but when I’m inside her? I can’t think of anywhere else I want to be. Nothing else makes sense but me and her and that moment. I’m starting—who am I kidding? I’m way past starting to need to see her. And no, I don’t like it one fucking bit.

Once again, she is ignoring my calls and text messages. Although, this time I can’t really blame her. I was pissed, okay. Damn straight I know it was shitty of me to leave her body on fire and not give her the orgasm I know—oh I fucking know I could’ve. Why the woman has to be so damn stubborn is beyond me. I’ve caved into the fact that I want her. Why can’t she admit she feels the same toward me? Trust this, when she’s meeting me thrust for thrust? That pussy’s mine. Skye’s mine. And she’d do best to say it when I tell her to.

So maybe I was more than a little pissed when I dropped her back off at the diner that night. Hey, she was ticked too, but I’d be miffed to if I hadn’t come. Boy oh fucking boy had I ever came. I never, ever take a bitch without latex. How in the hell I forgot blows my mind. Once again…just Skye. There was no way I could stop by the time she’d realized I was bare either. Fuck. Thing is? I’d fuck her thirty times over raw again. It took all I had not to fuck her again after I saw my come leaking out of her pussy when I pulled out. Fact is, I had to leave her in the garage while she dressed because all I wanted was to fuck her again until she and I came together like we had at the gym.

Three days is long enough, hell, it’s all I can handle. She can still be pissed if she wants, but she can throw that attitude around while my dick’s inside of her because it’s a fucking turn on. One minute she looks at me like she hates me but soon enough her eyes roll back and I know that Skye’s where I want her.

Picking up my phone, I do exactly what I told myself I wouldn’t do…again. I text Skye once more.

Jaden: “We need to talk, Skye.”

For the first time in three days, she responds and the alert surprised me because I didn’t expect her to answer. Like the 20 times before.

Skye: “We have nothing to talk about. Lose my number. Forget my name.”

Like hell!

Jaden: “Bullshit. You come to me before seven or I’m coming to you.”

Skye: “I’m blocking your number. Stay away from me.”

Jaden: “Knock the shit off. See you by seven.”

Message send failure.

I hit re-send.

Message send failure.

FUCK!

She seriously blocked me. Without thinking, I throw my phone and watch as the eight hundred dollar explodes against my office wall. Dammit! I’ve only had that phone for a few weeks.

******

Watching the big hand on the clock hit the twelve and then the one, two, three, I feel my pulse rising. It’s now well past seven and no sign of Skye. Did you really expect her to come to you? No, no I didn’t. The broad has more stubbornness than is good for her. And, yet I’m hooked on her. Like some fucking fiend, I watched the clock all damn day. Every time the bell sounded, I stared at the door to see if it was the black haired woman herself. No, it wasn’t—it never was. I’ve pushed my body to its fucking brink today. I didn’t have any clients after three, and I couldn’t stand to be in my office any longer. The million pieces from my phone ridiculed me all afternoon so I worked out.

I jumped rope, I ran nine miles on the treadmill, I benched fifteen pounds over my top weight, and still all I can think of is Skye. Fuck. I grab the back of my sweat-drenched shirt and pull it off on my way to the locker room. She wants to do this the hard way? Fine. But fuck, I reek and Skye and I have a little date after my shower.

“Hopping in the shower and then I’m taking off. Lock up when you leave, Becks,” I yell over my shoulder as I push open the door to the locker room.

“No problem, boss,” Becky answers.

Fifteen minutes later, I’m pulling off Forrester and turning onto Fifth. No doubt she’s working at the club tonight. Last place I want to go, but here goes nothing.

As I approach the corny ass neon pink lights of Pinkies, I say a silent prayer I make it outta here without the ‘roid apes fist prints on my face. And, I’m not a religious man. I take a deep breath and head toward the front door with my cover charge in my hand and a fucking wish in the other.

Chapter Fifteen

**Skye**

He doesn’t say anything, but I know he’s waiting for his chance to corner me. No way in hell am I going to take his drink order. If Jaden wants a drink he can go to the bar and get one from Nate himself. Thank God, Rhett isn’t working tonight. That’s all I need. Yeah, yeah, I know I did it to myself. Well…that’s not completely true. Rhett’s been firing me up daily for weeks now and he’s yet to seal the deal. It’s not an excuse and I’m not even going to pretend that it justifies my behavior, it doesn’t. But, on the other hand Jaden’s given me what my body needed when Rhett hasn’t. I hate myself right now.

This is what I do and what I’ve been doing. I tell myself how wrong I am and then I think of all these reasons that have brought me to this fucked-up situation. Morally? I’m screwed. Physically? I’ve taken what I needed from Jaden while my head and heart took what I needed from Rhett.

It’s over. I ended it—whatever the hell it was with Jaden. I want Rhett and I’m willing to risk his rejection. There it is…the truth. I’m waiting, just waiting for Rhett to reject me. Sure he acts like I’m the one he wants, but don’t guys usually try to sleep with the ones they want? Hell, they’ll sleep with the ones they don’t want. There’s no doubt that he likes me. But I’m not sure he wants me. His kisses tell me he does, but every time he walks out my door leaving me wanting? Doubt sneaks in and takes hold and I’ve let it lead me into Jaden’s arms of all people. No more.

Rhett is coming back tomorrow. He’d left four days ago to some family thing with Ryan at his Pasadena rehab facility. Every night he’s called and we’ve talked for hours. I’ve learned so much about him during our phone calls, and I’ve shared so much with him as well. The last thing I want to do is hurt him and if he does care as much as he claims to, I made the decision that whatever it is Jaden and I were doing is done. Completely. Done. The risk of losing Rhett if he ever found out is far too great than some quick fucks.

When I hear the open bars of Twisted Sister’s “I Wanna Rock” I know that Candy’s hitting the stage. Jesus, would the woman die if she picked a song not from the 80’s? Probably.

Risking him seeing, I glance at Jaden’s table, but it’s empty. Where in the hell?

“Looking for someone, sweetheart?”

I gasp and almost drop my tray.

“You know you make a similar sound when I first slip my dick inside you?”

“Get the fuck away from me, Jaden!” I say through clenched teeth, my heart racing as much from fear as adrenaline. Not fear that he’ll hurt me, but fear I won’t be strong enough to resist him once again. Then, I think of Rhett, and I know I can. He’s admitted that he’s kept me at a distance because he’s afraid of screwing up whatever is happening between us.

“You didn’t follow my orders today—”

“I don’t follow orders.”

And there’s that damn mocking laugh of his again. “Oh I noticed, Skye. Believe me, I’ve noticed.” His growl all but has me combusting. My shameless body clenches remembering the last time I heard that same growl as he came deep within my body. I’d never had a man come inside me without a latex barrier before. I’ll admit I fucking loved it and want it again, but not with him. No, not with Jaden, but with Rhett.

“Fuck you!” I all but scream at him before I walk away.

Tossing my tray on the bar top, I find Nate. “Tell Cal I didn’t feel well and I had to leave.” Without looking, I know Jaden is approaching, I feel him. “I’ll make up my remaining 45 minutes tomorrow. Kennedy can cover my tables—“

“What’s goin’ on, Sunny?” His eyes leave mine and land on something—rather someone over my shoulder. Jaden. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just got this stomach thing. Maybe something I ate earlier. Night, Nate.” He nods, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me.

This time I don’t risk glancing at Jaden, I know he’s not far behind me when I head toward the back. No way in hell will Charlie let him backstage.

Grabbing my jacket and backpack, I head out the backdoor toward my car tonight instead of the front door. Trying to avoid the puddles of rain water quickly forming in the pothole riddled backlot of Pinkies, I make it to my car in record time and soon enough I’m cruising down Oakly about to turn on Fifth headed home.

The rain is really picking up and I’m just hoping we don’t get hail. The last thing I need is to deal with my insurance company and my hefty deductible right now.

Waving at the security guard as he opens the gate I fake the smile I give him. My nerves are strung tight and my mind is racing right now. Rhett wasn’t there tonight, but what if he was? What if Jaden comes back tomorrow or the next day or the next day after that? Fuck! How did I get myself in this mess?

Once in my garage, I sit as the rain pounds, and I get lost in thought as the sound begins to calm me. It’s beautiful, the storm outside is beautiful. It hits me…I don’t deserve beautiful. Rhett calls me beautiful, he’s beautiful. Resting my head against my steering wheel, I let the tears come. I’ve been fighting them since Jaden drove me back to my car three days ago in complete silence. I’ve fought them after I hung up the phone after talking to Rhett for hours. I’ve fought them when the guilt hit me so strong I thought I was going to vomit. I just can’t fight them anymore. Rhett’s admission that he hasn’t taken our physical relationship further because he’s scared to move too fast, too early haunts me.