Текст книги "Shiver : 13 Sexy Tales of Humor and Horror"
Автор книги: Belle Aurora
Соавторы: Penny Reid,Ruth Clampett
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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 39 страниц)
Chapter 4
Renee and Raj pulled up to my apartment at precisely six thirty. God forbid Renee were a second late for this weekend’s festivities. She was probably worried the murder would happen without her there and she’d be clueless. I loved my best friend, but she was anal when it came to playing games and the rules.
A few weeks ago everyone was at Miles’s place for game night. It ended in Renee walking out because someone embezzled money in Monopoly. I tried to explain we were playing real life rules and that assholes at Boardwalk Place here knocking down the slums of Baltic Avenue and putting in million-dollar high rises. I could only imagine how serious Renee would be over this murder mystery game.
Miles was already at my place since he had to drop Dilion at his sister Kelly’s house, which was also in the city. Raj was driving his BMW S series, which was rather impressive. One of the things Raj and Renee had in common was his their love of cars and how they treated them like they were perfect children.
“Raj, you do understand we drive on the right side of the road, right?” I liked ribbing him since he grew up in England.
“Really?” he asked in a sexy British accent. “Someone might want to tell the cab drivers around here that.”
Have I mentioned another reason he and Renee got along so well? They’re both road Nazis. You were on your own if one of them saw you make a turn without your blinker on.
“Are you guys excited?” Renee turned and flashed and beauty queen smile.
“I can’t wait!” I said with too much zeal. There was only so much sarcasm I could throw at this weekend. But it was kind of fun just to annoy Renee because I loved how her nose crinkled up whenever she would get pissed.
“Moxie, don’t be a party pooper,” she chided.
Everyone in the car, including myself, laughed at Renee’s rebuttal.
We got out of the city and headed north to Wisconsin. The mansion wasn’t too far across the border, so the drive wasn’t long. Since it was Halloween weekend and Chicago traffic played a factor, we’d be lucky if we arrived next week. About a half hour into our drive, my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a text from the man sitting next to me.
Hi.
I looked up from my phone and to the beautiful man next to me. He was focused on his phone and acted as if he hadn’t just texted the person sitting next to him.
You realize I’m sitting right next to you.
I saw a hint of a smile tug at his lips. Within seconds his fingers where flying over the keyboard of his phone. I didn’t think you wanted me announcing to the entire car that your tits look great in that shirt.
I smiled at him, but he was still focused on his phone. Miles was a filthy talker, and I loved every dirty word that slipped from his mouth.
I thought about not wearing a bra, but everyone would see my nipples. I knew the comment would get a rise out of him. He loved all aspects of my body, but my nipples had a special place in his heart… and dick.
He growled low under his breath and typed, If anyone else saw your nipples, I’d shove their eyeballs up their asses. Those beautiful buds are mine and mine alone to suck and bite.
I crossed my legs and shifted in my seat to relieve some of the sexual ache Miles was inflicting on me. But two could play at this game. You know, I love those jeans you have on, but I like them even more when they are wrapped around your ankles while I’m sucking you off.
Miles cleared his throat, shifted in his seat, and typed, I’m fucking pissed at you.
What??
Miles continued typing. You’re not wearing a skirt so I can’t slide my fingers under your panties and make you scream in the back of this car.
I pouted. The thought of Miles taking me in the back seat of a car was hot. However, I would have to take lessons from a contortionist because the space was so small.
Well, I’m pretty pissed at you, I typed.
Oh, really?
There is no room in this car for me to get on my knees and suck on your cock until your come slides down my throat.
Miles let out a strangled cough and now it was his turn to readjust himself. Well, wouldn’t that be the car’s fault, then?
Fuck off.
Miles’s eyes went from looking at his phone to scanning my body. He licked his bottom lip and returned to texting. Trust me, there is nothing I’m rather be doing in the back of this car besides having you straddled on my lap fucking the shit out of you.
I was about to text back something equally as filthy when I received text from Renee.
You two are awfully quite back there. Everything okay?
I snapped my head up, forgetting there were other people in the car. Yep. I’m just looking out for ghost cows.
She replied quickly, What are you doing back there? Giving Miles a silent hand job?
There is nothing silent when I give this man a hand job. He screams like a banshee.
Renee giggled in the front seat while she continued to text. Oh, nice Halloween tie in there.
A text from Miles interrupted our exchange. Who are you texting? I tell you I want to fuck you senseless, and you’re texting someone else.
It’s Renee asking if everything is okay.
Miles looked like I’d just killed his dog. I lost the text-off?
I shook my head and rolled my eyes at Mile’s overreaction. Renee was worried. I couldn’t let her think we stopped breathing, could I?
You’ve been a bad girl, Moxie. Do you know what I do to bad girls?
I sat up a little straighter, eager to read his response. Oh, do tell.
Just before Miles could send a return text, Renee screeched, “Eek, we’re here!”
Raj parked the car on the street in front of a beautiful Victorian mansion. Even though it was dark outside, there were spotlights showcasing its beauty. The siding was painted a pinkish peach color while the cornices where painted green and white. There was a large round turret and windows in all shapes and sizes.
We exited the car and grabbed our luggage from the trunk. Miles, being the stud he was, carried my bag up the stairs and placed it on the gorgeous wraparound porch.
“This is so exciting.” Renee bounced up and down while clapping her hands. You would have thought she was a kid in a candy store.
“Okay, can you tone it down about three notches? You’ll scare off the ghosts,” I said.
“Oh my God. Do you think it’s haunted?”
I rolled my eyes, walked past her, and rang the doorbell. Someone inside opened the door and greeted us with a generous smile.
“Hello, welcome. You’re our first guests! I’m Sean, the innkeeper and your host for this weekend.” He held his arms out wide as if he were going to hug us all at once.
Sean was somewhere in his early fifties with salt and pepper hair. He had brown welcoming eyes and a long face that reminded me of a horse. His jaw had a few days of gray stubble. Sean was tall and lanky, maybe two hundred pounds soaking wet.
“Please, come on in. Let me help you with those bags.” He took our bags and set them in the entry. “Like I said, you’re the first ones here. Let me get my wife, Marie, and we can do some introductions.”
This gave me a minute to look around the room. It looked like a florist had a bad case of the flu and vomited flowers all over the place. Everywhere I turned I saw flowers – on the wallpaper, the rugs, and in vases all over the room. Looking at it made me dizzy. Although if I did puke, I’m sure no one would notice since the perfume from the flowers would mask the stench perfectly.
“Wow,” Miles whispered to me. “This is very—”
“Art Deco?” I added as I looked around and took in all the intricate designs.
“I was going with mortuary.”
“Welcome, welcome, welcome.” A female trotted from another room into the entryway. “I’m Marie, Sean’s wife, and your hostess for the weekend. We are so excited to have you here for a murderistic weekend.”
Marie hugged each one as if she had known us for years. It felt awkward to have that kind of intimacy with someone you didn’t know. It kind of reminded me of when my Aunt Beatrice, who I hadn’t seen in ten years, hugged me and told me I’d developed into a beautiful woman.
I leaned into Renee and said, “Is murderistic a word?”
“I wouldn’t know, I only teach the fifth grade. I believe it’s a high school word.”
Marie was a short middle-aged woman, maybe five three with heels. She had mousy brown hair that was somewhat curly and brown eyes to match. Marie wore an apron over her red top and floral ankle length skirt. Great, more floral.
“Well, I’m Raj, this is my girlfriend, Renee, and our friends Miles and Moxie.”
Marie looked at me as if I’d just grown three heads. “Moxie? Well, isn’t that a usual name.”
“My parents were hippies and continually high. They thought they put Margaret on the birth certificate,” I replied. Miles bumped me with his hip, and I decided I could behave for a while.
“Well, let me show you to your rooms while we wait for the others to get here. One of the gentleman called, saying he was lost, so hopefully it won’t be too much longer,” Marie said.
“Was the gentleman named Ryan?” I asked.
“I wasn’t quite sure. Another gentleman was screaming at him, calling him obscenities, so I couldn’t quite hear.”
“That would be Ryan and Tom,” I confirmed.
Marie led us up a squeaky wooden staircase to the bedrooms. After depositing Raj and Renee at their room, she led Miles and I down the hall to ours. Marie opened a door that could have used some WD40 in its hinges. Miles walked into the room first and I followed. The room was a decent size, but held a small four poster bed. This posed as a problem, considering Miles said I were bed hogs.
The room was decorated in shades of deep crimson The wallpaper was scarlet with shiny red imprints of flowers. The carpet was also red, but instead of flowers, it had specks of gold woven in. The portraits on the wall were of people from the nineteenth century. I doubted they were relatives of the owners, but instead purchased at Frames R Us. Next to the bed there was an antique oil lamp, probably a replica.
“I’ll let you two get comfortable and unpack. Sean or I will alert you when the other guests arrive, and we’ll meet in the sitting room,” Marie said before closing the door behind her.
I turned to Miles to say something sarcastic about the room, but he grabbed me so fast it almost knocked the wind of out me. He scooped me up in his arms and walked us over to the bed were he proceeded to throw me onto the mattress. The mattress made a loud squeaking sound when I landed; it was probably as old as the house.
Miles hovered over me and braced his arms on each side of my head. I could feel some growth when his groin rubbed against me.
“Miles, there’s no need to be afraid. I’ll hold your hand during the scary parts,” I said with a sly smile.”
“Oh the only person who should be scared here is you. You were very naughty in the car and need a good spanking.”
“Whatever do you mean, Mr. Dane?” I tried to do my best southern belle impersonation, even pretending to fan myself for extra effect.
Miles rolled us over so I was on top of him. He gripped my ass in both hands and squeezed hard. But then he surprised me and slapped one of my ass cheeks. Maybe I should have been pissed, but holy hell, it was such a turn on. Before I could retaliate there was a knock on the door.
“Hey, Miles and Mox, we’re wanted in the sitting room,” Renee called.
I dropped my head into the crook of Miles’s neck and whined, “Can’t we just have sex all weekend? We can role-play. You be Hannibal Lector, and I’ll be the woman you want to eat… You can start with my pussy.”
Miles chuckled as he rolled out from under me and pulled me up from the bed. “Don’t think you’re off the hook, Miss Summers. I’ll get you, my pretty.”
“And my little pussy, too,” I cackled as we left the room to join the other guests.
Chapter 5
Miles and I walked down the wooden staircase met Ryan and Tom at the bottom. Ryan look devilishly handsome as always, reminding me of the time I hit on him and subsequently found out he was gay. The dark jeans and V-neck sweater did it for me every time. Tom had a few years on Ryan when it came to age and was starting to gray at the temples. He said Ryan was making him go gray from all the shit he caused, like leaving dirty dishes out on the table.
When Miles and I approached them, they were still amid the argument from the car.
“I told you we should have turned at Spruce Street, but you insisted on going straight. And now we’re late.” Tom huffed.
“I would never insist on anyone going straight,” Ryan said, winking.
“If you kept your damn hands out of my crotch then I could have paid attention to the damn road.”
“Right. ‘Please don’t give me a hand job’ said no man ever,” Ryan said in a mocking voice.
“I don’t like to do shit like that in the car. It makes a mess everywhere,” Tom continued to argue.
“Ah yes, how can I forget my OCD boyfriend and his frantic need to keep everything in order.”
Ryan turned to Miles and I. “I would have taken it in the mouth anyway.”
Miles coughed at Ryan’s statement. “Okay, then. On that happy note, let’s we meet Raj and Renee in the sitting room.
“Good, I need a drink.” Ryan sped past Miles and I into the sitting room.
I whispered close to Miles, “Seems like everything isn’t kosher under the rainbow.”
“Seems to be a love-hate relationship,” he said.
“Yeah, Ryan loves Tom, and Tom hates all the crumbs Ryan makes.” I laughed.
In the sitting room Sean and Marie served wine and appetizers, and my heart started to pound and I started to shake.
“Moxie, what’s wrong?”
“Oh, she’s fine,” Renee said. “When she gets into a room full of appetizers, she goes into a seizure-like state because she doesn’t know which one to try first.”
“It’s just so… overwhelming. Pigs in blankets, assorted cheese. Is that a relish tray? Get the defibrillator, stat!”
“We always said if we quit teaching, we would start a restaurant that only served appetizers. We’d call it Appiteasers,” Renee continued.
“Can you imagine? A restaurant that had jalapeño poppers, egg rolls, and spinach artichoke dip? It’s like an orgasmic smorgasbord,” I added.
The doorbell rang, and we all looked toward the entryway as Sean moved to open the door.
“Welcome!” Sean greeted the new guests. “You’re just in time to mingle.”
A woman missing ninety percent of her clothing and didn’t look a day over twelve walked in. She wore booty shorts, although they showed more booty then shorts. On top of her nice-sized breast she wore a Clash T-shirt under a leather motorcycle jacket. The outfit was completed by cowboy boots and a straw cowboy hat. She had, from what I could tell, dark brown hair that lightened to blond at the tips.
Next to her was, what I assumed, her date for the weekend. He looked like he’d just crawled out of the cradle too. He wore a wife-beater and jeans that sagged way past his ass. He was probably five eleven and wore a White Sox hat with the shiny MBL sticker firmly attached to the visor.
“I didn’t realize we were babysitting this weekend,” I whispered to Renee.
“If I ever have a daughter walk out of the house looking like that, I’ll shoot her.”
“It will be too late because I would have already shot you for raising a daughter like that. That would be something from my loins, not yours.”
I peeked at Miles to see if he was enjoying the bootyful view, but he was deeply engrossed in conversation with Raj about the Cubs. Good man I had there.
Sean walked over with our newest guest. “Everyone, I would like to introduce Destiny and Sam.”
All six of us waved to our new arrivals as the doorbell rang once again.
“That must be our last arrival, excuse me,” Sean said as he darted back to open the door.
Meanwhile Sam left Destiny’s side and sauntered up to me. “Hey, I’m Sam. And what is your name, fair maiden.”
I looked around to see if there was a girl dressed in a princess costume with one of those tall cone hats and streamers coming out. But Sam’s gaze was directed at me.
“I’m taken,” I said with a rush.
“I would only assume,” he said with a wink.
“My boyfriend Miles is over there talking with the British Indian guy. He’s very tall and fierce. Oh, and he’s territorial. Likes to mark me with pee and all,” I added. I usually didn’t get nervous around anyone, unless they were threatening to discontinue Snicker bars, but there was something about Sam that made my skin crawl. Maybe it was because he looked like he hadn’t washed his hair since the extinction of the dinosaurs.
“Mmm, kinky. I like it.”
“Umm, isn’t that you’re girlfriend.” I pointed to Destiny.
“We don’t use labels. We are always opened to new adventures,” he said, eyeing me as if I were a piece of prime rib and he were a lion.
“Yo, dipshit,” Destiny called to Sam. “Stop waving your dick around and help me get the bags upstairs.”
“Dipshit is her nickname for me,” he said, giving me a toothy grin. He did a full body scan of me before helping Destiny carry their stuff to their room.
Renee looked at me, “What was that?”
“That was an uncomfortable moment.”
“Kind of like when you have to take a crap and the only place around is McDonald’s? And then you plug up the toilet and don’t tell anyone because you’re utterly embarrassed?”
I turned to her. “Did that happen?”
“Totally hypothetical,” she replied.
“Well, howdy, y’all!”
Renee and I turned our attention to our newest arrivals. A stunning raven-haired beauty came prancing into the room. She was dressed in a cream, silk shirt that was buttoned low showing her ta-tas, which were too perky to be considered natural. This was paired with black straight-leg pants and fuck-me shoes. That wasn’t what caught my eye, though. This woman was dripping in jewels. I had to snap my mouth shut because my mouth hung open so big I could have caught hundreds flies in it. I seriously considered getting my sunglasses because all her bling was making my eyes hurt.
Walking in behind her was a white-haired man who had to be double, if not triple her age. He was dressed in a tweed sports coat, slacks, and white button down shirt. He too had a very interesting accessory: something that looked like a furball a cat threw up. The object moved in the man’s arms and let out a bark, which sounded more like a shriek. Fantastic!
“I’m Debbie and this is my husband, Bob.” Then Debbie reached toward Bob’s arms and pulled the rugrat into her arms. “And this is Ruby, our shih-poo.”
I will not comment, I will not comment, I chanted to myself. But Renee had it covered for me.
“What’s a shih-poo?” Renee tilted her head and scratched her chin in confusion.
“It’s a shih tzu poodle mix,” Debbie said with a very strong southern drawl.
“I thought that was something that happened after you eat a lot of Arby’s in on sitting,” I muttered to Renee.
Miles, Raj, and a now harmonious Tom and Ryan joined in our small gathering and offered introductions since I seemed to be focused on Debbie’s assortment of fine gems.
“Hi, I’m Miles. This is my girlfriend Moxie and our friend Renee, Raj, Tom, and Ryan.”
“Well it’s a pleasure to meet y’all.”
“I like your puppy,” I said, reaching to pet the ball of fur. But the crapper growled and bared its teeth.
“Oh, Ruby. Stop that nonsense,” Bob scolded from behind is wife and placed his hands on her shoulders. “He’s very sweet, just a little territorial when it comes to my Debbie.”
“You’ve got quite the southern drawl. I can’t imagine you’d be from anywhere around here,” Ryan said.
“Oh no.” Bob shook his head. “We’re from Dallas. I own several farms up in this area, and we heard about this adventure and thought it would be fun. It’s nice to get out amongst every day folk instead of dealing with the old fuddy-duddies of the cooperate world.”
Again, I leaned into Renee and whispered, “Do I make the joke about Debbie Does Dallas first or the one where Bob is an old fuddy-duddy?”
She elbowed me in the side and gave me a sideways dirty look. Sam and Destiny came down looking disheveled and joined the rest of the party. Sam entered the room and threw me a wink while adjusting himself. The thought of Sam and Destiny having a quickie upstairs was enough for me to toss up the appetizers I had eaten.
The group mingled for a bit, and I was able to get some information out of our new guests. Bob owned a large cattle ranch in Texas and sold a lot of cattle to dairy farms around the county, hence his business here in Wisconsin. Debbie was thirty-three years his junior and did charity work. Basically he needed some hot tail, and she needed his finances to fund her Liz Taylor Diamond collection. Apparently Rudy went everywhere they went, and I wondered if the dog even had legs because Debbie hadn’t put him down on the floor even once. At one point, Ruby and I had a stare down over the last pig in a blanket. I won because, frankly, I was human and could squash that piece of shih-poo with my toe.
And then there was Sam and Destiny. Destiny was a twenty-year-old exotic dancer studying to become a licensed masseuse. Sam was a twenty-three-year-old guy. He seemed to be lost and searching, which was a nice way of saying he was unemployed. When I asked what he was looking to do, he answered. “Grow weed.” Ding, ding, ding! I do believe we have a winner here folks.
Sean and Marie made it back into the sitting room with a cluster of paperwork. “First, Marie and I would like to thank everyone for joining us on this very mysterious Halloween weekend. We have the characters you will be playing in the murder mystery game. Each of you will get your identity and some background information about your characters. We will give you some time to become familiar with your characters before continuing. The theme for the mysterious murder weekend is High School Reunion.”
Oh. Dear. God. To say I hated high school would be a lie. I flat out loathed it. I was the chubby redhead with enough metal in my mouth to conduct electricity. The fact that I had to reenact any part of that time in my life caused a plethora of angst. A knot formed in my stomach and the room started to spin.
“I wish I’d known you in high school,” Miles said, looking at the mixture of emotions on my face.
“Why is that? Did you need someone to stand on your roof to get a better TV signal?”
“What?”
“I had a mouth full of braces and was teased constantly.”
“I was thinking more like stealing you away underneath the football bleachers and devouring you between your legs.”
I gave him a wry smile. “While it sounds nice, I wouldn’t have been able to return the favor. Unless you wanted your penis torn apart like paper going through a shredder.”
“Well, thank God for present day and straight teeth.” He chuckled.
“Moxie and Miles, here are your characters.” Sean handed each of us our packets. Characters were designed around the questionnaire you filled out.”
I opened the manila envelope and pulled out the contents. I was not surprised at what the paperwork revealed.
Your character for the high school murder mystery is… The Punk.
