Текст книги "After We Fell"

Автор книги: Anna Todd

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chapter

eleven

TESSA

By the time I make it to my car, I already wish I’d have stayed in the bedroom with Hardin and his playful mood.

But I have too much to do. I have to call the woman back about the apartment in Seattle, get a few things for the trip with Hardin’s family, and, most importantly, clear my head about Seattle. Hardin offering me marriage nearly swayed me, but I know he won’t mean it tomorrow. I’m trying desperately not to overthink his words and let them change my mind, but it’s much harder than I expected.

I’ll marry you if you choose me.

I was surprised—shocked, really—when the words were spoken. He seemed so calm, his voice so neutral, as if he were announcing what we were having for dinner. I know better, though; I know he’s getting desperate. The liquor and his desperation to keep me from moving to Seattle are the only reasons behind his offer. Even so, I can’t stop replaying the words in my mind. Pathetic, I know, but if I’m being honest, that mix of hopefulness and knowing better than to feel that way is how I feel.

By the time I get to Target, I still haven’t called Sandra (I believe that’s her name) to discuss the apartment. It looks like a nice place from the pictures on the website. Not nearly as big as our current space, but it’s good enough, and I can afford to live there on my own. It doesn’t have bookshelves for walls or the exposed-brick wall that I have grown to love so much, but it’ll do.

I’m ready for this, for Seattle. I’m ready to take this step for my future; I’ve been waiting for this since I can remember.

I stroll through the store, daydreaming about Seattle and my situation, and soon I find my basket full of random things, none of which I actually need for the trip. Tablets for the dishwasher, toothpaste, a new dustpan. Why am I buying this if I’m moving anyway? I put the dustpan back, along with some colorful socks I tossed in there for no apparent reason. If Hardin doesn’t come along, I’ll need to start over and buy all new dishes, all new everything. It’s a huge relief that the apartment comes furnished, since that crosses out at least a dozen things from my to-do list.

After Target, I’m not really sure what to do with myself. I don’t want to return to the apartment with Hardin and my father, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. I’m going to be spending three days with Landon, Ken, and Karen, so I don’t want to drive to their house and bother them. I really need friends. Or one friend, at least. I could call Kimberly, but she’s probably busy planning her own move. Lucky girl. It’s Christian’s company that’s taking her to Seattle, granted, but I can tell by the way he looks at her that he’d follow her anywhere.

While scrolling through my phone to call Sandra, I almost tap Steph’s name.

I wonder what she’s doing. Hardin would probably lose his mind if I called her to hang out. Then again, he’s in no position to tell me what to do, being completely belligerent and wasted in the middle of the day.

I’m calling her, I decide. And she answers quickly.

“Tessa! What’re you up to?” she says loudly, trying to talk over the voices in the background.

“Nothing. I’m sitting in the parking lot at Target.”

“Oh, fun shit, then?” She laughs.

“Not really. What are you doing?”

“Nothing; going to lunch with my friend.”

“Oh, okay. Well, call me later or something,” I say.

“You can meet us there if you want; it’s just the Applebee’s right off campus.”

Applebee’s reminds me of Zed, but the food was incredible and I haven’t eaten yet today.

“Okay, I’ll come if you’re sure that’s okay?” I ask.

I hear a car door shut in the background. “Yes! Get your ass over here. We’ll be there in about fifteen minutes or so.”

I call Sandra on my way back toward campus and leave her a voicemail. I can’t ignore the relief that I feel when her voicemail picks up instead of her actual voice, but I’m not really sure what that’s about.

Applebee’s is really crowded by the time I arrive, and I don’t see Steph as I scan the room for bright crimson hair, so I put my name in with the hostess.

“How many?” The hostess asks me with a friendly smile.

“Three, I think?” Steph said she was with her friend, so I assume she meant only one person.

“Well, I’ve got a booth available now, so let me give it to you just in case.” The girl smiles and grabs four menus from the stand behind her.

I follow her to the booth toward the back of the restaurant and wait for Steph to arrive. I check my phone for any correspondence from Hardin, but there’s none; he’s probably passed out by now. When I look back up, my adrenaline immediately spikes at the sight of flaming-pink hair.

chapter

twelve

HARDIN

I open the cabinet in search of something to eat. I need to soak up the liquor coursing through me.

“She’s so mad at us,” Richard says, watching me.

“Yeah, she is.” I can’t help but smile at the way her face was flushed with anger, her small fists bunched at her sides. She was furious.

It’s not funny . . . well, it is, but it shouldn’t be.

“Is my daughter one to hold grudges?”

I look at him for a minute. It’s weird for a father to have to ask a boyfriend about his own daughter’s habits. “Obviously not. You’re in our kitchen eating all my damn cereal.” I shake the empty box.

He smiles. “Guess you’re right,” he says.

“Yeah, usually am.” Actually, that couldn’t be further from the fucking truth. “Guess it sucks for you that you showed up now, when she’s moving in less than a week,” I say as I place a Tupperware container in the microwave. I’m not exactly sure what’s in it, but I’m starving and too drunk to cook for myself, and Tessa isn’t here to cook for me. What the fuck am I going to do when she leaves me?

“It does,” he says with a grimace. “I’m just glad Seattle isn’t too far.”

“England is.”

After a long pause, he says, “She won’t go to England.”

I give him a fuck-off look. “What the fuck do you know? You’ve known her for, what, two days?” I’m about to really go off when the obnoxious beep of the microwave interrupts us.

“I know Carol, though, and she wouldn’t go to England.”

So he’s back to being the annoying drunk he was yesterday.

“Tessa isn’t her mother, and I’m not you.”

“Okay,” he says and shrugs.

chapter

thirteen

TESSA

Molly.

I pray that her presence here is a complete coincidence, but when Steph appears behind her, I sink back into the booth.

“Hey, Tessa!” Steph says and sits across from me, scooting in close to the wall so her “friend” can sit next to her. Why would she invite me to have lunch with her and Molly?

“Long time no see,” Molly the skank says to me.

I don’t know what to say to either of them. I want to get up and walk out, but instead I half smile and just say, “Yeah.”

“Have you ordered?” Steph asks, completely ignoring the fact that she brought with her my biggest—my only—enemy.

“No.” I reach into my bag to pull out my phone.

“No need to call Daddy, I’m not going to bite.” Molly smirks.

“I wasn’t calling Hardin,” I tell her. I was actually going to text him; there’s a clear difference.

“Sure you weren’t,” she replies, and laughs.

“Stop,” Steph snaps. “You said you’d be nice, Molly.”

“Why did you even come?” I ask the girl that I loathe more than anyone in the entire world.

She shrugs. “I’m hungry,” she says matter-of-factly, clearly mocking my emotions.

I grab my sweatshirt and move to get up. “I should just go.”

“No, stay! Please, you’re moving, and I won’t see you again,” Steph says, pouting.

“What?”

“You’re leaving in a few days, aren’t you?”

“Who told you that?”

Molly and Steph look at each other before Steph answers. “Zed, I think; it doesn’t matter, though. I thought you’d tell me.”

“I was going to; there was just a lot going on. I was going to tell you here . . .” I say, then look at Molly as if to explain my reluctance to continue.

“I still wish you’d’ve told me. I was your first friend here.” Steph sticks out her bottom lip in a way that makes me feel bad but still seems a little comical, so I’m thankful when a server arrives to take our drink order.

While Steph and Molly are ordering their sodas, I text Hardin. You’re probably passed out, but I’m at lunch with Steph, and she brought Molly :/ I hit send and look back up at the two girls.

“So, are you excited to be leaving? What are you and Hardin going to do?” Steph asks.

I shrug and look around the room. I’m not discussing my relationship in front of Satan’s daughter.

“You can talk in front of me. Trust me, I’m not interested in your boring-ass life,” Molly scoffs, taking a sip of her water.

“Trust you?” I laugh, and my phone vibrates.

Come home. Hardin texts back.

I don’t know what I expected him to say, but I’m disappointed in his advice, or lack of it.

No, I’m hungry. I reply.

“Look, you and Hardin are cute and all, but I don’t really give a shit about your relationship anymore,” Molly informs me. “I have my own relationship to worry about now.”

“Great. Good for you.” I feel bad for whoever the idiot is.

“Speaking of which, Molly, when are we going to meet this mystery man?” Steph asks her friend.

Molly dismisses her with a flip of the hand. “I don’t know; not right now.”

The waitress returns with our drinks and takes our orders. As soon as she leaves, Molly turns to me, her real prey. “Anyway, so how pissed at Zed are you that he’s planning to put Hardin in jail?” she asks, and I nearly spit out my water.

The idea of Hardin going to jail sends ice through my veins.“I’m trying to stop that from happening.”

“Good luck with that. Unless you plan on fucking Zed, there’s nothing you can do.” Again she smirks, tapping her neon-green fingernail on the table.

“That’s not an option,” I growl.

I’ve got something you can eat here. Really, though, come home before something happens and I can’t save you.

Save me? From what? Molly and Steph? Steph is my friend, and I’ve already proved once before that I can take Molly, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. She’s annoying and I can’t stand her, but I’m not afraid of her like I once was.

I can tell by Hardin’s perverted message that he’s still intoxicated.

I mean it, leave there, his next message says when I don’t reply.

I shove my phone into my bag and direct my attention to the girls.

“You’ve already done it before, so what’s the difference?” Molly says.

“Excuse me?” I say.

“I’m not judging you. I’ve fucked Hardin. Zed, too,” she reminds me.

I’m so frustrated that I want to scream. “I didn’t sleep with Zed,” I say through my teeth.

“Mm-hmm . . .” Molly says, and Steph glares at her.

“Did someone say that—that I slept with Zed?” I ask them.

“No,” Steph answers before Molly can speak. “And anyway, enough talk about Zed. I want to know about Seattle. Is Hardin coming, too?”

“Yeah,” I lie. I don’t want to admit, especially in front of Molly, that Hardin refuses to join me in Seattle.

“So neither of you will be here anymore? That will be so strange,” Steph says with a little frown.

It’ll be strange to start over at a new campus after everything I’ve been through at WCU. That’s exactly what I need, though—a new start. This entire town is tainted with memories of betrayal and false friendships.

“We should have a get-together this weekend—one last hurrah,” Steph says.

I groan. “No, no parties.”

“No, no, not a party, just our group.” She looks at me with something like pleading in her eyes. “Let’s be honest: we’ll probably never see each other again, and Hardin should hang out with his old friends at least one more time.”

I hestitate and have to look away from her, glancing over at the bar area.

Molly’s voice interrupts the silence. “I won’t be there, don’t worry.”

I look back at them, and right then our food arrives.

But I’ve lost my appetite. Are people really saying that I slept with Zed? Has Hardin heard this supposed rumor? Will Zed really put Hardin in jail? My head hurts.

Steph eats a few fries, and before she finishes chewing she says, “Talk to Hardin and let me know. We could have it at someone’s apartment—Tristan and Nate’s, even. That way no random douche bags will show up.”

“I can ask . . . I don’t know if he will or not.” My eyes move down to my screen. Three missed calls. One text: Answer your phone.

I’m leaving after I eat, calm down. Drink some water, I respond and pick at my own fries a little.

But the tension obviously gets to Molly, and she starts talking like a pot boiling over. “Well, he should like that idea—we were his friends long before you came along and ruined him.”

“I didn’t ruin him.”

“Yes, you did. He’s so different now—he doesn’t even call anybody anymore.”

“His friends,” I scoff. “Nobody calls him either. The only one who even contacts him anymore is Nate.”

“That’s because we know—” Molly begins.

But Steph puts her hand in the air. “Enough; oh my God,” she groans, rubbing her temples.

“I’m going to ask for a takeout box and go home. This was a bad idea,” I tell her. I don’t know what she was thinking bringing Molly here anyway; she could have at least warned me.

Steph looks at me sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Tessa. I thought you guys could get along since she’s not trying to fuck with Hardin anymore.” Then she glares at Molly, who shrugs.

“We are getting along—better than before,” Molly says.

I want to smack that smug look off her face. But Steph’s ring tone interrupts my violent thoughts.

A puzzled look crosses her face. Then she says, “It’s Hardin, he’s calling me,” and holds her phone up for me to see.

“I haven’t been texting him back; I’ll call him in a minute,” I tell her, and she nods okay and ignores the call.

“Jeez, stalker much?” Molly bites down on the end of a french fry.

I bite my tongue and ask the server for a to-go box. I’ve barely touched my food, but I don’t want to cause a scene in the middle of a restaurant.

“Please think about Saturday. We can even make it like a dinner thing instead of a party,” Steph offers. Then she gives me her best smile. “Please?”

“I’ll see what I can do, but we’re going on a trip until Saturday morning.”

She nods again agreeably. “You can choose the time.”

“Thanks. I’ll let you know,” I tell her and pay my bill.

I don’t like the idea, but in a way she’s right—we won’t ever see any of them again. Hardin’s going somewhere; maybe not Seattle, but he isn’t staying here now since his expulsion, and he probably should see his old friends one last time.

“He’s calling again,” Steph tells me; she doesn’t bother trying to hide her amusement.

“Tell him I’m on my way.” I stand up and head for the door.

When I turn back around, Steph and Molly are talking, and Steph’s phone is resting on the table in front of them.

chapter

fourteen

HARDIN

Tessa, if you don’t call me back, I’ll come looking for you, hammered or not,” I threaten, then throw my phone against the couch too hard, so it bounces up off the back and hits the concrete.

“She’ll come back,” Dick assures me ever so helpfully.

“I know that!” I shout at him and grab my phone. Fortunately, the screen’s not cracked. I glare at the old drunk and then stalk into the bedroom.

Why the fuck is he here, again? And why the fuck isn’t Tessa? Nothing good can come out of her being in the same room with Molly.

Just as I start plotting how to go out and find her when I have no keys, no car, and a blood alcohol level that is far beyond the legal limit, I hear the front door open.

“He’s, uh, lying down,” Richard says loudly, with incongruous cheerfulness. I suspect he’s trying to give me some sort of warning of Tessa’s arrival.

I pull the door open before she can and sweep a long arm to invite her in. She doesn’t look the least bit intimidated or concerned by the deep scowl on my face.

“Why didn’t you answer when I called you?” I demand.

“Because I told you I was leaving soon. And I did.”

“You should have answered. I’ve been worried.”

“Worried?” She’s clearly surprised by my choice of words.

“Yes, worried. Why the hell were you with Molly?”

She puts her purse on the back of the chair. “Beats me. Steph invited me to lunch and brought her along,”

Fucking Steph. “Why the fuck would she do that? Was she mean?”

“No meaner than usual.” She raises her brow, watching me.

“Steph’s a bitch for bringing her. What were they saying?”

“I don’t know, but I think people are spreading rumors about me.” She frowns and sits on the chair to remove her shoes.

“What? What sort of rumors?”

What I really mean to ask is: Who do I have to kill?

Fuck, I’m still drunk. How is this possible? It’s been at least three hours. I vaguely remember being told some time ago that each drink takes an hour to sober up from; I’m fucked for at least the next ten or so hours, then. That is, if I’m remembering correctly.

“Did you hear me?” Tessa’s voice is calm, worried even.

“No, sorry,” I mumble.

Her cheeks flush. “I think people are saying that Zed and I . . . you know.”

“You what?”

“That we . . . slept together.” Her eyes are weary and her voice is soft.

“Who’s saying that?” I try to keep my voice at the same level as Tessa’s despite the slow burn of anger building inside me.

“Supposedly there’s a rumor about it; Steph and Molly were talking about it.”

I don’t know whether to try to comfort her or let my anger take over. I’m too drunk for this shit.

She holds her hands in her lap and looks down. “I don’t want people to think of me in that way.”

“Don’t listen to them, they’re fucking idiots. If there is a rumor, I’ll be sure it’s cleared up.” I drag her over to sit with me on the bed. “Don’t you worry.”

“You’re not mad at me?” she asks, blue-gray eyes meeting mine.

“Yes,” I say. “I’m upset because you weren’t answering, and then Steph didn’t fucking answer. But I’m not mad about this rumor shit—not at you, at least; they probably just made it up because they wanted to be assholes.” The thought of Steph and Molly saying shit to Tessa to purposely hurt her feelings really fucking irks me.

“I don’t understand why she brought Molly, who then, of course, had to remind me that she slept with you.” She cringes. So do I.

“She’s a fucking whore who doesn’t have shit else to do but reminisce over the days I used to fuck her brains out.”

“Hardin,” Tess whines at the too-descriptive reminder.

“Sorry; you know what I mean.”

She unhooks the clasp on her bracelet and gets up to place it on the desk. “Are you still drunk?”

“A little.”

“A little?”

I smile. “A little more than a little.”

“You’re being so weird.” She rolls her eyes and pulls that damn planner out of the desk drawer.

“How so?” I walk over to stand behind her.

“You’re drunk and being all nice about everything. Like you were mad that I wasn’t answering you, but now you’re being . . .” She looks up at my face. “ ‘Understanding,’ I guess is the word, over this Molly thing.”

“What did you expect me to do?”

“I don’t know . . . yell at me? You don’t have the best temper when you’re drunk,” she says softly.

I can tell she’s trying not to upset me, but wants to let me know she’s not going to dance around the issue. “I’m not going to yell at you; I just didn’t want you around them. You know how they are, especially Molly, and I don’t want anyone hurting you.” Then I add, emphasizing each word, “In any way.”

“Well, they didn’t, but . . . I know it’s stupid, but for once I just wanted a normal lunch with a friend.”

I want to tell her Steph isn’t an ideal choice for a friend, but I know she doesn’t have any, aside from Landon and me . . . and Noah.

And Zed.

Well, not Zed anymore. That shit is over, and I’m fairly certain that kid won’t be showing his face around here for a while.

chapter

fifteen

TESSA

The fact that Hardin is being reasonable surprises me, and I’m able to relax a little bit. He crosses his legs and leans back on his palms. I’m not sure if I should bring up Seattle now, since he seems to be in an easy mood, or if I should wait.

But if I wait, who knows when he’ll be ready to talk about it.

I glance at him, notice his green eyes watching me, and decide to ease into it. “Steph wants to have a going-away party,” I tell him and wait for his reaction.

“Where’s she going? LSU?”

“No. It’s for me,” I explain, leaving out the small detail of telling them he’s coming along to Seattle.

He gives me a look. “You told them you’re moving?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you haven’t decided yet, right?”

“Hardin, I’m going to Seattle.”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “You still have some time to think about it.”

“Anyway . . . what do you think about this party? She said it could be a dinner-party-type get-together at Nate and Tristan’s place instead of the frat house,” I explain, but Hardin’s still intoxicated and he doesn’t seem to be listening to me. I look over my moving schedule for next week. I really hope Sandra calls me back soon about that apartment; otherwise I won’t have a place to live when I get there, and I’ll be stuck living out of a suitcase in some motel room. Ugh, motel rooms.

“No, we aren’t going,” he surprises me by saying.

I turn to him. “What? Why not? If it’s a dinner it won’t be so bad—no Truth or Dare or Suck and Go, you know?”

He chuckles and looks up at me with amusement clear on his face. “Suck and Blow, Tess.”

“You know what I mean! It’ll be the last time we—well, I see them, and they have sort of been my friends, in a really strange way.” I don’t want to think about the beginning of my “friendship” with the group.

“Let’s just talk about it later. This shit is giving me a headache,” he groans.

I sigh in defeat. I can tell by his tone that he’s not going to continue the discussion.

“Come here.” He sits back down on the mattress and opens his arms to me.

I close the planner and go to join him on the bed; as I stand between his legs, his hands move to my hips. He looks up at me with a crooked smile.

“Aren’t you supposed to be mad at me or something?”

“I’m getting overwhelmed, Hardin,” I admit.

“Overwhelmed by what?”

I throw up my arms. “Everything. Seattle, transferring to another campus, Landon leaving, your expulsion—”

“I lied,” he says plainly and nuzzles his face into my stomach.

What now? “What?” I thread my fingers through his hair and lift his head to look up at me.

He shrugs. “I lied about the expulsion.”

I take a step away from him; he tries to pull me back, but I don’t allow it. “Why?”

“I don’t know, Tessa,” he says, and stands. “I was upset about you being outside with Zed and all this Seattle shit.”

My mouth drops. “So you told me you were expelled because you were pissed at me?”

“Yeah. Well, that and another reason.”

“What other reason?”

He sighs. “You’re going to be angry.” His eyes are still red, but he seems to be sobering up quickly.

I cross my arms over my chest. “Yeah, probably. But tell me.”

“I thought you’d feel bad for me and come to England.”

I don’t know what to think about his confession. I should be upset. I am upset. I’m pissed the hell off. The nerve of him, to try and guilt me into moving to England with him. He should have just been honest from the start . . . but still I can’t help but feel a little better about finding it out straight from his mouth instead of the usual way his lies are revealed.

He looks at me with questioning eyes. “Tessa . . . ?”

I look at him and almost smile. “Honestly, I’m just surprised you came clean before someone else told me.”

“Me, too.” He closes the distance between us, bringing his hand to my neck, the span of his fingers covering my jaw. “Please don’t be mad at me. I’m an asshole.”

I blow out a harsh breath, but love his touch. “That’s a terrible defense.”

“I’m not defending myself. I’m a dick. I know this, but I love you and I’m sick of all the shit. I knew you’d find out sooner or later anyway, especially with this dreadful trip with my father’s family.”

“So you told me because you knew I’d find out?”

“Yeah.”

I pull my head back a little and look at him. “You would have kept it from me and still tried to force me to go to England with you out of pity?”

“Basically . . .”

What the hell am I supposed to say to that? I want to tell him he’s insane, that he’s not my father and needs to stop trying to manipulate me, but instead I just stand there with my mouth open like a fool. “You can’t try to force me into things by lying and manipulating me.”

“I know it’s fucked up,” he says, with a look of worry in his green eyes. “I don’t know why I am the way I am. I just don’t want to lose you, and I’m desperate here.”

I can tell by his expression that he really doesn’t understand how he’s been acting. “No, you don’t know. Otherwise you wouldn’t have lied.”

Hardin puts his hands on my hips. “Tessa, I’m sorry, I really am. You have to admit that we’re both getting much better at this relationship shit.”

He’s right; in a messed-up way we really are much better at communicating than we used to be. Far from a normal-functioning relationship, but normal has never been our thing.

“So, the marriage thing—that isn’t going to make you come with me?”

My heart beats uncontrollably in my chest, and I’m sure he can hear it. But I say simply, “We’ll talk about it when you’re not drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk.”

I smile and pat his cheek. “Too drunk for that type of conversation.”

He smiles and pulls me closer. “When will you be back from Sandpoint?”

“You’re not coming?”

“I don’t know.”

“You said you would. We’ve never traveled together before.”

“Seattle,” he says, and I laugh.

“Actually, you showed up there uninvited, and left the next morning.”

He runs a hand through my hair. “Technicalities.”

“I really want you to come. Landon is moving soon.” The thought of that alone pains me.

“So?” he asks, shaking his head.

“And your father would love it if you came, I’m sure.”

“Oh, him. He’s just upset with himself because they gave me a bullshit fine and put me on academic probation; the slightest fuckup and I’m done.”

“Then why not transfer to the Seattle campus with me?”

“I can’t hear the word ‘Seattle’ again tonight; I’ve had a long day and have a headache from hell now . . .” He kisses my forehead.

I snap my head back slightly, away from him. “You got drunk with my father and lied about being expelled—we’re talking about Seattle if I want to,” I say sharply.

He smiles. “And you wore those pants out after teasing me with them, and didn’t answer my calls.” He runs his thumb along my bottom lip.

“You don’t need to call me that many times. It’s suffocating. Molly even called you a stalker,” I say, but smile beneath his gentle touch.

“Did she, now?” He continues tracing the outline of my lips, and they part involuntarily.

“Yeah,” I breathe.

“Hmm . . .”

“I know what you’re doing.” I reach down and remove his other hand from my hip, where his fingers have begun to slip below the waistband of my pants.

He smiles. “What’s that?”

“You’re trying to distract me so I won’t be mad at you.”

“How’s that working for me?”

“Not well enough. Besides, my father is here, and there’s no way I’m having sex with you when he’s in the other room.” I reach around and smack him playfully on the butt.

Which only makes him thrust himself against me a little. “Oh, you mean like when I fucked you right there”—he points to the bed—“while my mum was sleeping on the couch?” He thrusts gently against me again. “Or the time I fucked you in the bathroom at my father’s, or the multiple times I fucked you while Karen, Landon, and my father were just down the hall?” He reaches down and touches my thigh softly. “Oh, wait, you must mean like when I bent you over your desk at work—”

“Okay! Okay! I get it, I get it.” I flush, and he laughs.

“Come on, Tessie, lie down.”

“You’re sick.” I laugh and step away from him.

“Where are you going?” he says with a pout.

“To see what my father’s doing out there.”

“Why? So you can come back in here and—”

“No! Gosh—go to sleep or something!” I exclaim. I’m glad he’s still being playful, but despite his confession, it’s still annoying that he lied to me and is being so stubborn about even really discussing Seattle.

I thought for sure that when I got home from my late lunch at Applebee’s, he’d be furious at me for not answering his texts. I never suspected that we’d talk things out and he’d admit to lying about being expelled. Maybe Steph had reassured him that I was on my way, so he had time to calm down. Then again, Steph’s phone was on the table when I turned back around . . .

“Did you say Steph didn’t answer when you called?” I ask.

“Yes; why?” He looks at me, confused.

I shrug, unsure what to say. “I’m just wondering.”

“Why, though?” His tone is off.

“I told her to tell you I was on my way, and I’m just wondering why she didn’t.”

“Oh.” He looks away, reaching for a cup on the dresser. This whole conversation is so awkward—Steph not telling him that I was on my way, him avoiding my eyes.

“I’m going out there. You can join us if you want.”

“I will. I’m just going to change.”

I nod and turn the door handle.

“What about your dad, though? He just came back into your life, and you’re going to leave?” His words stop me in my tracks. It’s not like I hadn’t thought about it before, but Hardin lobbing that question at me like a missile when my back is turned doesn’t sit right with me.

I take a moment to recover before leaving the room. When I get to the living room, my father is asleep again. Binge drinking at noon must be exhausting. I turn off the television and head to the kitchen for some water. Hardin’s words about leaving so soon after seeing my father again keep replaying in my mind. But the thing is, I can’t put my future on hold for a father whom I haven’t seen for nine years. If the circumstances were different I would consider rethinking this, but he’s the one who left me.

When I get back to the bedroom door, I hear Hardin’s voice speaking from inside.

“What the fuck was that shit today?” he says, his voice muffled.

I press my ear to the door. I should just walk in, but I get the feeling I’m not supposed to hear the conversation. Which means I really should hear the conversation.

“I don’t give a fuck, it shouldn’t have happened. Now she’s all upset and shit, and you’re supposed to . . .” I can’t make out the rest of the sentence.

“Don’t fuck this up,” he snaps.

Who is he talking to? And what are they supposed to be doing? Is it Steph? Or, worse, Molly?