Текст книги "More Than a Memory "

Автор книги: Amber Nation

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 13 страниц)

His nose glided around on my cheeks as he held me close and in a low breathless voice he made my heart ache all over again, “I’ve missed you so much, Eden. I’ve caught myself so many times over the years thinking about you and wondering if you were truly happy in all aspects of your life. I know it’s inevitable but I’ll continue to beat myself up over not going after you. I called a few times and not once would your mom give me the number to your nana. I just gave up…”

I reared my head back and cupped Baylor’s cheeks in my hands so I could lift his face and see those piercing green orbs that made me go week in the knees, “Enough with all this remorse and regret. I’m only here through Sunday and it’s now Wednesday. We need to make the most of the time we have left. Positivity only from here on out.” I tried to capture the sternest voice that I could muster, but even in the back of my mind I wanted to dwell on the fact that I was culpable in most of the transgressions of the past. “Hey, I have an idea. Will you take me to the bridge again tonight? I wasn’t in the right frame of mind when we went yesterday, and I’d really like to have a look around.”

He searched my eyes for something that I couldn’t exactly pinpoint but a bright smile broke out across his face, “Absolutely.”

Chapter 11

Eden

The atmosphere in Tillie’s Tavern during lunchtime was a complete one-eighty from the nightly crowd. While the numerously spaced out hanging televisions were tuned into a sports channel, no one was rambunctiously yelling at the screen for something the team they rooted for did or did not accomplish. It was almost relaxing, a nice, homey feel.

I scanned the area for Dean, but I must’ve been the first to arrive so I just grabbed the table nearest to the door and took a seat. A beautiful woman with long flowing blonde hair, who was also rather well-endowed, came up smiling and asked for my drink order, “What can I get ya?”

“Oh, I’ll just have a water, please. I’m waiting on my friend; he should be here within the next few minutes.” We each exchanged peaceful pleasantries but there was just something about her that I wasn’t so sure of. I shrugged it off as just me being insecure because she was a complete knockout and thought back to that morning when I arrived home from Baylor’s.

Growing up, I never took the walk of shame in my own house mainly because I was a virgin when I left home. But coming back home as a non-virgin adult and walking into your parent’s house wearing the exact same clothing that you wore the day before and your hair a total disaster was a little embarrassing. Especially when it wasn’t your mom who caught you walking in, but your quiet, never-knew-what-in-the-hell-he-was-thinking-at-any-given-time father. Could we just say awkward?

Being that it was ten in the morning, I didn’t really need to tiptoe into the house but for the overall effect of the moment I felt like I was inclined to. I opened the front door as Baylor drove away and was met head-on with a six foot two inch tall, broody, middle-aged man who had his arms crossed over his chest. “Daddy,” I screeched, placing a hand over my now-racing heart. “You scared me.” I wasn’t scared by him being there, but it was extremely out of the norm for him to be at home at that time on a weekday.

He didn’t budge and I could’ve sworn that I didn’t even see him blink. He just stood in the doorway unmoving like a statue and to tell you the truth it was beginning to freak me out just a tad. “Where were you?” He finally spoke, his voice unwavering.

My first reaction was to scoff at the beginning of his inquisition. I was thirty-three years old, for crying out loud, I really didn’t think that I had to answer that question. But after I shook off my initial shock at my father even caring about where I was, I decided it was best for all involved if I humored him. “I was with Baylor, at his house.” My voice came out a bit shaky even though I tried to cover it up. Not once had I ever had a confrontation with my father; hell, I’d never even really heard him raise his voice until the other night. That was just how my father was, he went with the flow and was extremely mellow and laid back. He absolutely loved both Baylor and Dean back when we were kids and it also probably helped that I never really ever gave him a reason to get all worked up. But I guess there was a time and place for everything, and exhibit A was right in front of me.

In a flash his stoic expression became incredibly relaxed, “Good,” he nudged his head in the direction of the couch, “Have a seat.” Ok, I really must be in the Twilight Zone. I followed him closely and as he sat on his worn old recliner I sat to his right on the couch, waiting for what would come out next.

“I feel the need to apologize about…well, everything.” He took in my wide-eyed expression but continued on, “After hearing about how your mother has been meddling in your life I guess I feel like I should’ve been giving her more attention. I go to work, I come home and eat and watch a few hours of television a night and then go to bed, just to do it all over again the next day. And I have been like that for as long as I remember. I wasn’t very active in your life but then again I didn’t feel like I needed to be too much. My parents harped on me for every little thing and you were always so grown up for your age and independent. I never really ever had the need to mistrust you or even scold you for some wrongdoing. But by not really doing anything I missed out on a lot of important things for you growing up. If I had to do everything all over again I would change many things. But evidently with me not paying much attention to your mom I left her with all of this free time which I’ve now learned she used in trying to route your life to what she thought was good for you. Baylor Jenkins is a good boy, always has been and always will be. I’ve been watching from the sidelines all these years and I could see in his eyes how he felt about you, Dean too…But nah, you were oblivious to it all. You’re a good girl, Eden. I’m just sorry I can’t say that I have been a good father.”

Hearing him say all of those things made my heart ache for him and quite frankly took me aback. “Daddy, now I can honestly say that I’ve never thought of you just as a good dad. I think of you as a great one. Sure, you weren’t a very active participant but Mom surely made up for the both of you put together,” I chuckled, trying to shed a bit of light-heartedness on the situation. “Dwelling on the past is something that I’ve been doing a lot of over these few days that I’ve been home, but what good does it do? If you feel that you need to change then do it, don’t make any excuses. And if we are airing out our transgressions I think I need to apologize for not being the best daughter, leaving home so abruptly fifteen years ago and not coming back until now. I let my naïve heart lead the way and let some vindictive bimbo ruin one of the best things in my life.”

“Oh now, Eden, you were young you didn’t know what else to do. But if you’d have told me about what you thought happened between Baylor and you I would’ve slapped him six ways to Sunday. But because I chose not to be involved I just stayed at a centralized location. I was Switzerland. But now that you have come home do you think you’ll be more inclined to visit?”

I looked down at my hands which were clasping my tank top to the point of wrinkling. Did I know the answer to that question? I wanted to say that I would but could my heart take it? Could Baylor and I actually have a long distance relationship? If I were to leave things to chance I would have to say no. I couldn’t very well come back and see Baylor all cozy with someone else and I couldn’t do that to him if the roles were reversed. “I’m conflicted. Things are so great between Baylor and me right now but it has literally only been a few days. I feel like everything that has been missing in my life has been found when I’m with him. But I have a job back home, one which has me under a contract. I have my condo, my dog, my friends…”

“What’s up, buttercup?” Dean startled me from my flashback from earlier in the day. I lifted my head from the palm of my hand and looked up at him, giving him a small smile. He reciprocated by kissing my cheek. “Sorry to have kept you waiting, I had some business to attend to.” He was dressed in a fitted gray suit with a white shirt and teal tie. He unbuttoned the two buttons on his jacket so he could move freely to have a seat.

“Business during your vacation?” Even I who was a complete workaholic hadn’t brought any work to accomplish that week, not that I had much time anyway. I really needed to call Blaine and make sure that things were going smoothly, make sure he hadn’t quit on me for leaving him with the intern, Ryan. He was definitely an acquired taste and Blaine wasn’t a fan.

“This business just literally fell into my lap right before I came. So I thought I’d incorporate business and pleasure. And at least I can claim this trip as a tax write off.” He winked.

“Vague much? You can’t just give me tiny snippets of information and leave out the best parts.”

“Tsk tsk,” he said while waving a finger in front of my face, “I can’t disclose anything. I don’t want to jinx anything before the final touches are in place. But it’ll be great news if it goes through.” I wanted to roll my eyes at him but he turned towards the waitress who had approached the table. As soon as she saw Dean sitting next to me she started to give me an irritated look as if she cursed the ground I walked on. I knew something about her was off and that stink eye proved I was right.

“Dean,” she greeted with a smirk plastered on her face. Her shirt was a little more low cut than I remembered it being just a few minutes ago. “What can I get you to drink?”

“Hey, Maisie.” I’m sure my eyes were to the point of bugging out of my head. That was Maisie? The same Maisie that Bentley mentioned as the person he thought Baylor had slept with? “I’ll just have a Coke, thanks,” he answered flatly then turned back to me after watching Maisie walk away.

Now I had ample time to conduct my eye roll. “That was Maisie?”

“Yes…Why?”

“Oh no reason, really, Bentley just mentioned her name earlier this morning at Baylor’s.”

“Maisie has her sights set on Baylor, that’s for sure, but he wouldn’t ever touch her. Actually I’ve been hearing that you and Baylor have been getting pretty cozy with each other,” he smirked while raising his eye brows up and down.

“Oh? But that’s strictly hearsay, right?”

We each chuckled but abruptly stopped when Maisie slammed down Dean’s drink. There was so much force behind her hand that Coke sprayed all over Dean’s tie. Quickly grabbing a handful of napkins, I took Dean’s tie from his hand and began blotting the material.

“Seriously, Maisie?” Dean straightened up his slouched posture in his seat with an all-knowing look, shooting daggers her way. “This,” he indicated to his tie and the mess of Coke on the table, “was because we were talking about Baylor, huh? Maisie, give it up, it’ll never be you. All along it’s been Eden, for over fifteen years it’s been Eden.”

Hearing him talk about me like that right in front of me wasn’t very comforting. I almost wished at that moment that I was anywhere but there in that bar in the midst of a confrontation with a girl I didn’t even know, over a guy who I technically didn’t have.

A slight old lady came out of the back room and shuffled her feet over to our table. I literally had to do a double take. I just couldn’t believe that it was Tillie. She’d aged so much since I’d been gone but there was still that twinkle in her eye that only Tillie could have. Her white hair was stacked high upon her head in a neatly secured bun and she was wearing a bright pink pantsuit with the same shade of pink painted across her lips. The closer she came, the more narrowed her eyes became towards Maisie, then she raised her hand and pointed a shaky, slender finger her way, “What do you think you’re doing, Maisie?”

Maisie quickly opened her mouth to object, “Why do you always think that I’m the one responsible?”

“Because you always are! If you look guilty and act guilty, nine times out of ten, you’re guilty!” She looked around Maisie and straight at me, I gave her a soft smile and a little wave before she resumed her stance back in front of her granddaughter. “I can just ask Eden what happened, she was always a good kid around here. Unlike a certain granddaughter that I could name.” She tried to straighten her slouched posture, folding her arms in front of her chest and pursing her lips. Good lord she had the look!

“I’m sorry, Granny,” Maisie muttered, then turned towards us and mumbled a hasty, “sorry,” before scurrying back into the back room where Tillie had just emerged from.

“Sorry, you two, I don’t know what goes on in that brain of hers. Only after a good time and doesn’t want to work. She thinks she’s making a name for herself but obviously it’s the wrong one. Now why don’t you two let me know what you want and I’ll cook it up quick for you.” We each ordered the bacon cheeseburger with extra mayonnaise and an order of her home fries. On her way back to the kitchen she stopped and turned around, “It’s good seeing your face around here again.” With my dad owning one of the local supermarkets and me working there in high school we closely worked with Tillie, making sure she had the freshest vegetables and bread for the Tavern. I often delivered there but only was able to go as far as the back door. Tillie was a free spirit but she didn’t need to get in trouble for letting a minor in her bar, so she was pretty strict with the rules.

“Still like your burgers, huh?”

“Oh goodness, yes! I did become a vegetarian once; it was the worst four hours of my life. I work out to eat whatever the hell I feel like. Well, let me rephrase that, my friend Julia makes me work out so I don’t get a fat ass, so therefore because I do, I eat whatever I want.”

“Nice logical thinking. This friend, Julia, seems like a real hard ass.”

“Only the best kind. Jules is definitely one of a kind. She’s the one who has been married and divorced twice like you, she says she hasn’t been able to find another who’s been able to handle her. She’s a real trip.”

“And you? What about you, Eden? Can’t seem to find anyone to handle you back at home?”

I was almost thrown off guard by the seriousness in his tone. I looked at the dull shine on the oak table as I confessed, “I think I held every man that I’ve ever dated or even talked to on a high standard. A standard that only Baylor could succeed in matching. He was my first love and to tell you the truth I don’t think I’ve ever fully gotten over him. And now there is this week, and so far it’s been wonderful but what happens when it ends? Because we both live in almost the opposite sides of the United States. I can’t ask him to uproot his daughter and his company just like he can’t ask me to break my contract and suffer a major downfall for my radio career. It’s a stalemate,” I shrugged my shoulders, trying to hide the fact that I was emotionally dying inside, “so I’ll try my best to enjoy myself this week without letting my heart get too involved and try and resume life as I know it when I return home.”

I could tell that Dean was getting ready to put in his two cents worth with the way his brows were furrowing together trying to process everything I’d just spilled. Bet he wasn’t expecting all of that. No sooner did he open his mouth my phone rang and it was my work tone. “I’m so sorry, I need to take this, it’s my cohost.” Pressing the talk button on my smart phone I brought it to my ear; definitely no more speakerphone after that morning’s fiasco. “Hey, Blaine, what’s going on?”

“Oh, nothing, just trying to ward off Ryan and all of the amazing ideas he has for the show, which roughly translates to Ryan is driving me freaking insane with all of his awful ideas for the show. How’s Oregon? I hope you know that you now owe me, big time.”

“Oh no, I tried to back out of coming but you wouldn’t hear it, so nope, I don’t owe you nothing. Have any more marriage proposals been coming through?” I glanced up at Dean and saw his perplexed glare and shooed him off.

“You better believe it, every day this week I’ve gone home wielding a bouquet of flowers and a corny poem or a box of chocolates. I even had a singing telegram show up today for you. Some of these guys think they know how to romance a girl, but if they are regular listeners to the show they know that you’re not here so why bother?”

“Glad I’m missing all of that,” Tillie emerged from the kitchen holding a steaming plate in each hand, “listen, I’m at lunch with a friend so I’m going to have to call you back later. Hold the fort down and don’t kill Ryan.”

I said my goodbyes just as Tillie was setting our plates in front of each of us, “Thank you, Tillie, this looks and smells fabulous.” I said as the aroma from the crisp, smoky Applewood bacon filled my nostrils.

“I second that, thanks Tillie,” Dean followed.

She nodded her head and gave a sideways smile before leaving us with our monstrous plates of food. “I’m sorry about that, Blaine is with a guy that he really can’t stand so he was just trying to give me a hard time about it.”

“What did you mean when you said something about marriage proposals?”

“Oh,” I chuckled as I wiped my mouth on my paper napkin, “well, my mom has been harping on me to start going out on dates. Somehow Blaine caught wind of the situation and thought it’d be funny to have a segment where I would actually go out on a blind date on a Friday and then come back the following Monday and talk about how it went and yada, yada, yada. Well, the day I actually got the email from Baylor, which ended up being from Norah, I was reviewing a horrific date; the guy was utterly clueless so I asked Blaine on the air to marry me. It was all a joke but he turned me down and now all of these men have been vying for my attention by sending in flowers and other asinine gestures, trying to propose to me. It was really bad that week but I thought it had mostly died down; I guess I was wrong. I don’t really know why men would propose to me. I mean without knowing me really. They could all see me out and about when I do on-location broadcasts or see my face around town on billboards, but I just don’t get it.”

“Eden, are you fishing for a compliment or just obtuse?”

I reared back as if he had smacked me in the face; he might as well have. “I don’t know what you’re talking about and I certainly wouldn’t be fishing for a compliment. That’s not who I am.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he stressed after releasing a breath. “I’m perturbed and just taking it out on you. But Eden, you are absolutely beautiful, every man in his right mind should be fighting in line just to get your attention. Lord knows I did.”

I wrinkled my brows and pulled my lip in between my teeth, then released it and sighed. “What do you mean?”

“Eden, was there ever a time that you saw me before you did Baylor? Did you ever have feelings for me like you did him?” He looked almost nervous as he awaited my answer.

“Dean, you were one of my best friends. Of course I loved you, but only as a brother, I’m sorry.” A wave of penitence consumed me for not giving him the answer that he anxiously wanted to hear.

“You didn’t?” he said flatly, his mask slipped for a moment before cementing itself back into place. “I did everything that a gentleman should, I crammed myself in the back of Baylor’s car so many times. I took you to prom. I was just hoping that something would’ve been there. I guess the old saying is true, nice guys finish last, but then again I can’t deny that you and Baylor are perfect for each other. I just have to put my old feelings aside.”

I covered his hand with mine and pulled it towards me, holding tight, “Dean, you are amazing and one of the best guys I’ve ever met. I have no doubt in my mind that one day soon you’ll find your special person who can handle all that you have to offer.”

“Gosh, I feel like such a loser. I promise I haven’t changed into this bonafide pussy in the years you’ve been gone.”

“I would never think that at all,” I said with a sly smirk causing us both to laugh. It was great to catch up and laugh with him, my heart had missed Dean too.

Pulling up in front of the old covered bridge, our bridge, I couldn’t believe that I had completely missed seeing it yesterday. I hurried out of the truck just as soon as Baylor put it in park. The area was abandoned even when I was younger; it was one of the more forgotten bridges in Cottage Grove. By the looks of things, bits and pieces of the wood had been refurnished or replaced; the area outside of the bridge had been weeded and thoroughly taken care of.

I walked over to the entrance where the railings started to lead across the little creek underneath. The slats in the railing brought back the most memories, Baylor and I used to sit right at the entrance where our feet would dangle right above the rippling stream. I unzipped my raincoat since the rain had taken a little break and sat down in between the beams just like we used to do when we were younger.

I looked back to Baylor who had his hands in his pockets and was just standing on the wooden platform. He looked off into the distance and began to speak, “I come here often and touch up on different parts that have rotted. Norah and I even make it a project to stain the wood once a year, kind of a father/daughter bonding time. But we enjoy it and it keeps the bridge looking a little less worn down,” he lightly chuckled.

“Why would you do that?” I couldn’t understand why he would take time out of his busy life to take care of a useless old bridge.

He sat down next to me, hanging his legs over the side and making some stray rocks fall into the creek. “Because this bridge has a lot of meaning to me,” he slapped a hand on a beam of wood, “it’s a piece of my youth. I remember us always coming here after school; we would sit here and talk while Dean traveled down into the creek like the adventurer he is.” He looked down at his overworked hands and spoke a bit lower than before, “It was the place I fell in love with you, and I now own it.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around what I was hearing; he loved me when we were younger? And he bought this bridge because of all the memories that it inhabited. I had to place a hand over my erratically beating heart. “You own this bridge and preserve it because of me?”

“I love this bridge,” he looked down the entire length of the structure. “When I heard that they were planning to tear it down, the boy in me couldn’t let that happen and just wash away years of memories along with it, and the architect in me couldn’t just sit around and let it crumble because of lack of attention.” He leaned back on his hands, still taking in all of the wooden beams. I couldn’t help but to watch him closely observing and admiring the structure that he helped rejuvenate.

My cell phone rang so I pulled it out of my pocket and noticed it was Julia. I needed a breather so her call really couldn’t have come at better time. “Hey, its Julia, I’m going to just be a minute,” I told Baylor. He nodded while I stood up and walked around to the back of his truck to take the call. “Hey,” I answered, my voice sounding mildly deflated.

“What’s wrong? Whose ass do I need to kick for making you sound so sad?” That’s what was so great about Julia, all I needed to say was the word and she would come running with guns blazing.

“No one’s ass needs kicked. You remember when I told you about the old covered bridge we used to go to when I was a kid? Well, Baylor bought it and has been restoring it all these years. I’m trying my hardest here to keep my tears at bay but I’m hanging on by a thread. This week is becoming more than I can handle. I am thrilled for the time we are getting to spend together but what happens when I leave?”

“Have you asked him that?”

“Jules, you know the answer to that question. I can’t bring up the future; I just don’t foresee anything happening.” I looked back at the bridge to see Baylor still sitting staring down at the creek.

“Just don’t go falling in love with him, Eden, you’ve gotta protect your heart.” Sympathy showed through in her voice.

“Oh you won’t have to worry about that, I won’t go falling in love with him,” I said before a tear escaped the corner of my eye. “You can’t fall in love with someone you already still love.”

“Oh, Eden,” Julia gasped.

“It’s too late for my heart. I just hope that when I get home you’ll help me restore the pieces.”

“You bet, sweetie, you know I’m always here for you. Tell you what, I’ll make a run to the store and be sure to stock up on that German chocolate cake spectacular ice cream you love so much. I can tell that you’re gonna need it.”