Текст книги "More Than a Memory "
Автор книги: Amber Nation
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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 13 страниц)
I’d come to the realization that it just wouldn’t work between us because it had always been the wrong time. We tried our hardest to come together and life just kept pulling us apart. Or maybe that was just my mind’s way of thinking before completely shutting itself down. I felt the edge of depression threatening to pull me under, like drowning in a pool of water and not being able to gasp for air.
Before I quietly went outside to wait for my mom I left Baylor a note saying goodbye. I neatly placed it on his fridge next to a self-portrait that Norah drew of her and her dad and secured it with a magnet of a covered bridge.
Walking out the front door and shutting it behind me, I turned around with my shoes clutched in my hand and ran directly into Norah.
She startled me but I quickly tried to cover up my reaction because I didn’t want her to think that I was taking the coward’s way out and just leaving, which was the God’s honest truth. I ran a hand down her arm, “Goodbye sweetie, it was great to meet you. Thank you so much for the email, this week has been one of the best of my life and exactly what I needed.” I felt the tears welling up in the creases of my eyes.
She adjusted the backpack on her shoulder and raised her eyes up to meet mine, “Then why are you leaving?” she asked, perplexed.
“It’s time for me to leave; I have a home, a dog, a job.”
“I love dogs,” I knew what she was trying to say but it just wasn’t possible.
My hand was still placed on her shoulder, “It’s not that easy, sweetheart. I’m under contract for my radio station.” I noticed my mother pull her car into the driveway. “Bye,” I ended quietly. I felt horrible for just leaving her standing there on her front porch, but I had to go. As I walked down the sidewalk towards my mother’s car in the drive I quickly turned back to Norah to see her just standing there watching me, the onslaught of tears swimming in her eyes. I pointed towards the house, “Your dad is still sleeping, please don’t wake him up.”
I quickly pivoted on my foot and rushed into the car and I didn’t release the breath that I was holding until I made it to the airport.
My parents insisted on walking me into the airport before saying their farewells. My mother had already become a blubbering mess on the ride over and my dad was his usual quiet self. I was trying to remain strong but my heart was shredding into pieces by the second and I had no one to blame but myself.
“Ok Mom, Dad, I gotta go.” My luggage was checked and I was holding my carryon bag with my purse slung over my arm.
“Honey,” my mom said in between sobs as she came forward to give me a giant hug that literally took my breath away. “I’m going to miss you so much. I hope you don’t wait another fifteen years before returning home again.” I closed my eyes tightly and opened them to look directly at my dad. He knew exactly what was reflecting back at him.
She finally let me pull away from her clutch and I walked straight into my dad’s arms. “It was great to see you again, Eden, your mom and I miss you when you’re not around.” I could hear the faint hitch in his voice. “You know you can come back home anytime and you wouldn’t even have to see him,” he whispered into my ear. Thank the Lord he didn’t mention his name because I was certain that would’ve been my breaking point. “I know you know that, but I also know that if we want to see our only daughter again we will have to come visit you. I want you to know that it’s completely all right. Your mother may not understand, but I do. I love you, Eden.”
I released my father’s neck and looked up to him, “I love you too, Daddy.”
During the plane ride back to Nashville I tried my hardest to fall asleep but the elderly gentleman next to me thought it was a good idea to keep me entertained by recounting his story about the one that got away.
“It was so many years ago, I met June right before I was drafted for World War II. I remember writing her every day and fighting with guns blazing just so I would be able to get home to her.”
I had nothing else to do for the remainder of the flight other than to wallow in my own misery, so I decided why the hell not make my heart hurt even worse. “What happened when you returned home?”
“I found out that shortly after I left she was killed by a random burglar.” He looked down at his frail hands, “She never even received any of my letters. She died not knowing how I truly felt about her because I was a coward. I left with the mindset that I may not return home so I didn’t want to leave her with any false hope. But I loved her with every breath that I took. I always had that feeling of ‘what if.’ What if I didn’t get drafted and was able to be there to protect my June? What if I told her that I loved her, would she have tried to fight off her attacker knowing that she was loved?”
Now my heart was aching even more for this old man who didn’t get to even enjoy being in love. I covered his hand with mine, “So did you ever get married?”
“I did. I met Mary about five years after I returned from war and found out about June. I kept comparing every woman to June and it was hard to be happy when I did. As hard as it was I had to push June out of my mind so I could lead a meaningful life. I met Mary and her grace captured my heart. Ended up being married for sixty wonderful years before she passed away four years ago. I loved Mary with everything that I was, but June always seemed to creep into my mind at the strangest of times. I hadn’t thought of her for many years and for some reason you reminded me of her.” His eyes seemed to grow heavy behind his framed glasses.
“How old are you?”
“Clifford, but you can call me Cliff. I’m ninety two years young,” he chuckled as he hung his head and proceeded to drift off into a nap until the plane landed.
While he breathed heavily through his mouth I studied the clouds that were beneath the plane as we flew over them. I never confessed how I felt towards Baylor; he knew that I loved him when we were younger but I never told him that I still did. Never actually stopped.
Thankfully the flight home had minimal turbulence and was actually rather peaceful, not even a baby cried during our time onboard. I gently nudged Cliff on his shoulder until he awoke, somewhat startled and disoriented.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to let you know that we landed,” I said apologetically.
He took his turn to stand and made his way out into the aisle, “Thank you for waking me. And thank you for letting me reminisce, it was nice talking to you, June,” he said with a wink before he used the backs of the seats to steady his pace while he exited the plane.
I just stood there with a faint smile on my face before someone let me out before them. I got my luggage which was actually where it was supposed to be for once and went to look for Julia.
Once my eyes landed on hers the first wave of tears broke free. I rushed off towards her and into her open arms; she knew by my tear-stained face that I needed reinforcements.
She rubbed along my back, “Oh honey, was it hard leaving him? Did he beg you to stay?”
I began crying harder and between sobs I tried my best to formulate the words, “No, he didn’t ask me to. I left before he woke up.” I buried my face in her shirt knowing that I was going to have to owe her a new one.
“Let’s get you home, your mutt misses you and I have ice cream waiting in the freezer. We can dig in while you tell me all about it.”
Chapter 15
Baylor
I awoke startled as I sat straight up in my bed. I looked over to the space on my bed that Eden had been occupying for the majority of the week and it was empty and cool to the touch. She had been up for a while. Something wasn’t settling right in my stomach so I threw on a pair of shorts and rushed out into the kitchen.
The TV in the living room caught my attention so I went towards the couch to see Norah watching cartoons with her feet tucked underneath her and a bowl of cereal in her lap.
“Where’s Eden?” I asked, starting to feel a bit frantic.
“She left,” she answered in between lifting bites of soggy cereal to her mouth.
“What do you mean she left? When?” My heart was beginning to sink into my stomach, fear was settling in.
“About two hours ago. I couldn’t sleep well last night so I came home around seven, she ran into me on the porch and said not to wake you. And she left you a note on the fridge.”
I ran my hands through my hair wondering why she would leave without saying goodbye.
“Why in the hell didn’t you wake me?” I yelled, not meaning to have as much force behind it as what came out.
Instead of Norah cowering to my raised voice, she straightened her posture and yelled right back, “Because she asked me not to!”
“The one time you choose to listen is now?” Her eyes narrowed and I felt awful, so I quickly calmed down, “I know, you always listen. I’m sorry, but I wanted to tell her goodbye. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”
My shoulders slumped and I slowly shuffled my feet into the kitchen to retrieve the folded note that was on the fridge.
I only got through the first sentence before I started to take matters into my own hands.
Baylor,
Please let this count as our goodbye.
“Norah, get dressed! We’re going to the airport!” I folded the note again without reading the rest and shoved it into the pocket of my shorts.
“I’m ready, Dad,” she replied breathlessly as she ran into the kitchen. “Let’s go get her.”
I darted to grab my keys and started running into the garage before Norah stopped me, “Uh Dad…You may want to put on a shirt and some shoes if you want to be allowed entrance into the airport.”
I stopped dead in my tracks once my foot hit the cool concrete of the garage floor, reiterating what Norah just said. “Shit,” I said under my breath.
I skidded to a halt in one of the open parking spots right next to the terminal entrance. It was a crooked parking job but it would have to do. I threw the Camaro in park and turned to look at Norah.
“Go, Dad, I’ll sit right here.”
“Thanks, sweetheart,” I yelled as I slammed the door on the car and rounded the front of the hood to rush inside.
Once I got through the door, I really didn’t know where I would go from there. No one would let me past security without a ticket and boarding pass but I was going to try and give it a shot. I went over to the board that listed the arrival and departure times and saw the one from Eugene to Nashville. I followed the line that told me what the flight number was, but the departure time was wrong. That couldn’t be, it said nine a.m. and that the plane had already departed.
I approached a ticket agent to confirm that the board was misinformed. “The arrival and departure board, is it always accurate?”
The agent continued pecking away on her computer for a few moments before she looked up at me with a sour expression painted on her face. “Sir, whatever those boards say,” she pointed to exhibit A, “is the most up-to-date information we have. Now if you’ll excuse me I have work to do,” she ended with an eye roll.
I walked away from the counter just wandering around aimlessly. How could Eden outright lie to me about the time her flight left? I had to physically palm my chest because I felt my heart breaking. Had the entire week just been a bit of fun for her? I was under the assumption that she felt the same way I did, but you knew what they said when you assume. I really hoped that I wasn’t the one to be made an ass.
Feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket, I quickly fished it out and connected the call before bringing it to my ear. “Eden?”
“What? No, it’s Dean,” he replied.
“Dean, she’s gone. She left without telling me goodbye. I don’t understand it.” I found an empty bench and sat down while listening to Dean.
“Did she leave a note?”
Him asking that sparked my memory and I felt around for the note in my pocket and dug it out. “Yeah, she did.”
“Well, what does it say?”
Baylor,
Please let this count as our goodbye…
I had already read that part but I actually kept on reading until the very end.
I know you, Baylor, and I know you ended up running to the airport without reading the rest of this letter. I could’ve saved you the time. I want to admit that I did indeed lie to you about the time my flight left because I figured this would be easiest for all parties involved. I didn’t sleep much last night because my mind was constantly running in a million different directions. How would our goodbye go? Would you ask me to stay? Would you send me on my merry way? You might think that this wasn’t the right way to go about this, but in my heart it was.
This week was one of the best ones of my life and I’m so thankful that we were able to reconnect and explore each other in a more intimate light. You were my first love, Baylor Jenkins, and they say that the first is always the hardest to get over. If nothing more becomes of us I wish you a happy life with lots of laughter. Take care of yourself and Norah.
Love Always,
Eden
I finished reading the letter, more confused than before. “Baylor? Are you there?”
Focusing my attention back on Dean, “Yeah, I’m here. Listen, is there any way that Eden can get out of her contract at the radio station?”
“I don’t know, man, I’m not that kind of lawyer. You know that.”
“Well, don’t you have friends or contacts that can find out for me?” I snapped.
Dean replied, deadpan, “I can try. Listen, I’m coming over, I need to run something by you. I’ll be there when you return from the airport.”
I ended the call and quietly walked back to my car without my precious cargo in tow.
Noticing an airport security officer standing in front of my car and Norah’s wide eyes from inside I knew that I was going to be on the receiving end of a ticket. Rushing up a little faster, I raised my hands in surrender, “Officer, I’m getting ready to move.”
“Sir, is this your car?” He pointed his pen towards the Camaro, I nodded in response. “This isn’t a parking zone for your pleasure, it’s an unloading zone. Now I’ve already written out the warning,” he ripped off the paper and shoved it in my direction, “Consider this your lucky day.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I grumbled under my breath and then got into the car.
“Did you find her?” Norah immediately asked, the optimism apparent in her voice.
“No,” I was sad to burst her bubble because her face immediately fell, “Her plane had already left.” The sadness in my own voice was obvious and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I wanted to understand where Eden was coming from, but I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. She’d spent the week drilling into my head that she was under contract so this was just a visit, but I definitely didn’t expect to go falling even deeper in love with her. If I had known of there being even a remote possibility of her staying I would’ve begged every moment of every day. I wasn’t above begging, especially when it came to matters of our hearts.
When I pulled back into my driveway, Dean was waiting just like he said he would be. I couldn’t help it when my hand accidentally slipped and slammed the car door after I exited.
“You’re taking this hard, aren’t you?” Dean asked.
Norah spoke up first, “That’s an understatement. You didn’t have to sit the entire twenty-five minute return home in absolute silence.”
“Norah,” I warned.
“What, I’m just telling the truth. I’ll be inside watching TV if you happen to need me,” she waved a hand as she walked away from us and into the garage.
“Well, this may warrant some bad attitude from you, but you and Eden never were the best at communication. I’d think that after all these years it would definitely be stronger now, but by the look on your face I’d be wrong. So what’s your next move?”
That earned him a murderous glare and I was almost inclined to sucker punch him in the gut so he’d at least be feeling the same as me, but I decided to spare him. He seemed like he was in a really good mood and there was no reason to bring him down as well. I released a long drawn-out sigh, “I’m not for sure.” Placing my hands on my hips, “But I need to come up with something fast, I already miss her. She belongs here with me, with her family.”
“Speaking of belonging here, that’s what I initially called to tell you. Remember old man Baxtor?”
I looked at him quizzically, “The only lawyer in town?”
“That’s the one. Well he wanted to sell his law firm and retire, that’s the business I had while I was up here for the reunion. You are now looking at the sole owner and operator of Baxtor’s Law Office. I’m here to stay!”
This was definitely a turning of events and I couldn’t be more happy or proud of my best friend. Even in my state of emotional duress I couldn’t contain the smile that broke out across my face as I pulled him in for a hug and clapped him on his back.
“Congratulations, man! That is great news. Norah will be excited that her Uncle Dean will be sticking around.” We pulled away from our bro hugs and he arched a brow at me. I chuckled, “Yeah, well I can’t deny it, I’m pretty excited too.”
Dean clapped me on the back and guided me inside the house through the open garage and said, “Now, let’s figure out how you’re going to get your girl.”
Chapter 16
Eden
Three Weeks Later
Things were back to normal, for the most part. Only it was as if I was just going through the motions of life, completely void of any and all emotions, because it seemed as if my well of tears had run dry. I went to work and performed my job almost on full autopilot, came home, slept when I could turn my mind off and did the same thing over again the next day.
After I initially returned home, I cried my eyes out and had sobs torturing my entire body for an entire day, but after that I couldn’t will myself to shed another single tear. And it wasn’t for my lack of trying. I hadn’t heard from Baylor at all for the twenty-one days after my abrupt departure. I wanted to wallow in my self-pity and keep on force-feeding myself insane amounts of ice cream, but true to Julia fashion she put her foot down and quickly squashed any desire to remain in bed for days on end.
“You’re going to have to suck it up buttercup and pull up those ugly ass granny panties.” She raised a brow at my dirty laundry pile that had begun ascending up the wall, “And for Pete’s sake do some laundry.” She jutted out her hip and continued on with her rant, “At least you’re showering, because if not I wouldn’t dare come within a three mile radius.”
“And what, miss out on this nice little uneventful visit from you? Not in a million years,” I retorted as a small giggle escaped my throat. No matter how hard I tried to fight it she always had a way to make me laugh.
I was sitting at my desk with my headphones on, fiddling with my bracelet that I hadn’t dared to remove from my wrist, and stared off into space wondering what Monday morning would bring. Having spent the entire weekend washing, folding, and putting away every last piece of dirty laundry that had accumulated in my laundry basket and overflowed to the floor and cleaning my house from top to bottom I was still in need of recovery. So a nice relaxing day would certainly be appreciated.
So far it had been the exact opposite of a relaxing, easy going show; the phone lines were already ringing off the hook and it wasn’t even seven a.m. Apparently teeny boppers and fan girls alike got wind that we were going to be giving away a pair of tickets to see Two East, one of the biggest boy bands of the past couple years, and thought that they would just continuously redial the station’s number, thus clogging up our phone lines.
For every ten phone calls I answered, nine of them were teenagers begging and pleading for the tickets; why they weren’t getting ready for school I didn’t know. I was almost near the point of shouting out on air that Blaine would be in the parking lot personally giving them away just to give him a little taste of his own medicine. Let’s put him in the spotlight and see how he liked it. The show of course would have to be placed on hold because there was no absolute way that I would miss him being trampled down to the ground just for the possible chance at a ticket.
The remaining one phone call would be a random proposal to me. The stream of proposals had for the most part dwindled down since my return, but every now and again we would get the one inconsiderate fellow who thought he was the bee’s knees and had an ego to prove it, who would call in with his cocky attitude and demand my hand. I was over it, plain and simple.
Honestly, I was beyond ready to release a whole spiel about finally putting an end to the nonsense, but apparently I was the only one not amused. The producer himself said, and I quote, “This shit is quality entertainment.” So there you had it, my single life was useful for amusing radio, who would’ve thought.
I would bet if the numerous mundane proposals were spouted off to them they’d quickly be changing their tunes. So for the moment I had to bite my tongue and go with the flow, biding my time until men decided that they were done. I knew I was giving the entire male species a little too much credit by believing that they would just up and quit on their own accords.
“Eden, how about we take the next call on the air…” Blaine chuckled, his voice laced with amusement. I was nervous about taking a call live without the option to edit anything out; it wasn’t a wise decision but I guessed things could definitely get a little more interesting.
Rolling my eyes in his direction as my way of a reply, I muttered a few expletives under my breath for good measure. Pressing one of the numerous nonstop blinking phone lines, I connected it to my headphones. “Hey, you’ve got Blaine and Eden in the morning, who’s this?” I answered with my upbeat tone even though I was cringing inside and praying like crazy that the call wanted Two East tickets instead of the alternative, me.
“Oh my God!” A young girl screeched on the other end of the line. I was never so relieved to hear a teenage girl’s voice in all my life. I could have done without the screaming hysterics, but it came with the territory. “This is Meagan! Did I win? Oh my God, this is the best day of my entire life!”
Blaine chuckled upon hearing her reaction, “You did indeed win two tickets to see Two East next Saturday, Meagan! So what are you up to this morning?”
“AHHHHH!!!” she screamed again, this time a few decibels higher than before. “I was supposed to be getting ready for school, but I spent my time trying to get through, which was SO worth it! Even though now I’m going to school in my pajamas. Anything for Two East. AHHH!” I looked up to Blaine with extra wide eyes and made a cutting motion across my throat, trying to convey to him to get her the hell off the air while people still had their hearing.
“Ok, well, Meagan, hang on the line while I get your info and just try to have a good day at school, I know that’ll be hard for you.”
I quickly put the line on hold and began speaking in a normal tone to our audience, at least those still with us after all that excitement, and allowing Blaine to handle the rest of that phone call. Just as a little payback to him, I smiled brightly in his direction before I began speaking, “Wow, how about that? She was full of all kinds of excitement. Well, how about we go ahead and play a few songs, but don’t worry, if you didn’t get your chance to win a pair of tickets to Two East, we will have another chance tomorrow morning right here on 98.9 Nashville’s Powerhouse!” I turned off my microphone and quickly began playing the next song that was up in the queue which just so happened to be “Love Story” by Taylor Swift.
How freaking ironic.
As I listened to the song, completely ignoring Blaine, I couldn’t help but compare it to my life, wondering if Baylor would’ve actually asked me to stay if I hadn’t gone on about my contract at the studio, and what my answer would’ve been. It all didn’t matter, but there was always that inkling of debate in the back of your mind after you made a major life decision. It would take root and continue to force you to dwell on it until it took over your life entirely.
He was supposed to be my Romeo and me his Juliet…Where the hell was my fairytale ending? Perhaps Julia was right; with her two failed marriages she did have a bit more insight into love than I did. Her motto was that fairytales were for losers and happy ever after’s didn’t belong outside of a story or Hallmark card. It still didn’t help with the way my heart was hurting.
Blaine was off of the phone with Meagan and pecking away on his cell phone as the Taylor Swift song ended and another song began. It wasn’t much better for my mood: “Let’s Get Married” by Jagged Edge. I slid off one side of my headphones and looked across the room to Blaine, “Seriously, did you queue up these songs just because you knew how much they went along with my pathetic life?”
He jerked both of his hands up in a mock surrender, “Hey, I just had a request for this song. Just looking out for our listeners, nothing pertaining to you and your life. Please stow away the dirty looks; I can only be killed so many times today by your stares. Definitely not a cat with nine lives, and besides,” he shot me a knowing glare of his own, “you know you love this song…”
Ugh, he was completely right. I remembered when I first heard it on the radio back in February of 2000. It wasn’t the slow-paced version that many radio stations played; no, this was the Remarqable Remix. I was still very much bitter towards the ordeal that transpired between Baylor and me, or rather the vicious lies that Kristina spewed. I wanted to hate the song about love and meeting at the altar on that one special day, but I couldn’t. They beckoned me with their lyrics and catchy beat that just made me want to bust out dancing. Even now I couldn’t resist getting a little groove going while seated in my chair, add a little lip sync to the mix and I was sure I was one hell of a sight.
Blaine replaced his headphones in their proper position so he could talk on-air; normally we had a specifically timed script that we abided by, but that morning had been so out of whack that we’d long since ditched it. “That was ‘Let’s Get Married’ by Jagged Edge which was requested by a recently newfound loyal listener. Now, why don’t we open the phone lines for another call this morning…Hello, good morning, you’ve got Blaine and Eden on 98.9 Nashville’s Powerhouse.”
“Uh yes, hello,” a small female voice spoke up. “I wanted to thank you for playing my requested song, it wasn’t really for me but for my dad. You see he has this longtime love, who he’s let slip through his fingers one too many times.” My ears had since perked up and I was hanging onto her every word. Her voice sounded extremely familiar to me, but sometimes on air they could appear a bit distorted. I was quite certain that this wasn’t the first time hearing her; I just couldn’t quite place where I had heard her before. She could very well have called into the station before for all I knew. But something about what she was saying compelled me to listen a bit closer. Letting a longtime love slip through your fingers one too many times was something that I could relate to on an extremely personal level. “And this time he finally learned his lesson and he wasn’t going to back down. Eden, hear him out, please. He’s in a fragile state and will soon be there on bended knee if he needs to be, pleading for you to choose him, and choose Oregon.” My heart rate began speeding up and my bottom lip trembled in response, “For you to choose us…”
“Norah?” My voice finally broke, as well as the dam that was keeping my tears at bay, letting just a single solitary tear roll down my cheek. “Baylor…he’s here?”
About that time a knock sounded on the door to the studio and Blaine stood up, waving the guest in. I sat completely still in my chair, with my hand closing in around the wrist that held my bracelet, just willing it to be him. I didn’t want to turn around until I was entirely certain, because if by some chance it wasn’t Baylor I didn’t know how I was going to keep my composure and finish out the rest of the morning set.
I felt his presence even before his hand touched my shoulder. Swiveling my chair around to face him, I looked up into those pale green eyes that I’d dreamt of so much of the past few weeks and took in his disheveled state. He looked about as bad as I felt: a little more scruff was apparent on his chin and the square of his jaw, and those magical eyes of his looked as if they hadn’t slept a wink since I’d been gone.
He crouched down so he was almost down on both knees, just so he could be on eye level to me, and brought both of his hands forward to cup my face, being cautious of my clunky headphones that were perched in place on my ears. I quickly moved to pull one of my earpieces off my ear so I could hear him clearly.
It took him a minute before he began to talk because he was taking his time roving his eyes over my face, never once breaking contact. “Edie,” he broke the silence in a pained whisper and slid his hands from cupping my face, bringing them down to tightly grasp my hands. “I couldn’t let you slip through my fingers again. I wouldn’t allow my future to be left to chance again and let another fifteen years go by without seeing you, so with the help of Norah and Blaine, I took matters into my own hands, which I should’ve done the first time. You gave me no greater joy than getting just a glimpse of waking up next to you in the mornings. And when you took that away, when you left this last time without saying goodbye, I found myself dreading falling asleep because I knew you wouldn’t be beside me. I know we have had our problems with communication, but that stops here and now.” I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth and saw the brief flash of desire shine in his eyes as he continued saying the most heartfelt words I had ever heard in my life. “You, Eden, are meant to be more than a memory and I want you as my reality for the rest of my life. I love you, Eden, and I’m here to bring you back to where you belong, back to Oregon with Norah and me. That is, if you’ll have us.”
