Текст книги "The body painter"

Автор книги: Pepper winters

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Chapter Eighteen

______________________________

Olin

-The Present-

FOR TWO DAYS, life tried to convince me things were normal.

I ate, showered, went to work, and travelled home each night. All the mundane tasks of living alone and fending for yourself in a large city dragged me along in some resemblance of normalcy.

Only, it wasn’t normal.

My body knew that. My heart knew that. Even my mind knew it, because it struggled to stop thinking about Gil for a moment, let alone switch off to sleep.

Starting a new job and falling into bed with the boy I never stopped loving weren’t a good combination.

I caught Shannon’s eye as she smiled at me from across the floor. Even though my thoughts were far from work, I did my best to perform well. The phone was always answered politely, my emails replied to promptly. I’d learned my role fast, so no one had to breathe down my neck.

Yesterday, when I’d messaged Justin that Gil was back at his warehouse, I’d bit my lip in case he went over there and figured out that we’d slept together. My cheeks heated as Justin replied, asking if I knew where Gil had been and what state I’d found him in.

Luckily, I’d had to duck into a team meeting, so I brushed him off and told him to go see Gil if he had any more questions.

That was over twenty-four hours ago, and I was tired. The clock showed just past four, and I begged for the rest of the time to disappear so I could go home, drink some cheap supermarket wine in a futile attempt to stop reliving the delicious, emotionally-dangerous sex we’d indulged in, and plead for sleep.

“Hi, Olin.” The guy from the coffee room who’d flirted with me on my first day smiled over my cubicle wall. His dark skin and darker eyes were highlighted by a white shirt and silver tie. He held a bunch of papers under his arm and his gaze travelled over my similar attire of cream blouse with navy pinstripe skirt. “You up to much this weekend?”

I stopped typing an email about a laptop that needed a factory reset and shook my head. “Not really. You?”

He grinned. “Not much.”

“Cool.” I smiled awkwardly. “Well, I hope you find—”

“I was gonna see if you wanted to do something, actually.” He interrupted me in a rush. “I mean...if you’re not doing anything.”

I stilled. My roller chair creaked as I sucked in a harsh breath. “Oh. Um...”

“We could do lunch? Or a movie? Even just a walk. I’m easy.” He hoisted the papers higher. “Say, Saturday?”

My heart bumped into ribs in its haste to refuse. It’d been a while since I’d been on a date. I didn’t think I’d even remember the rules and etiquette required.

You had sex two days ago.

I scowled. Yes, I did. But that couldn’t be classified as a date.

Sex with Gil was the opposite of a date. Unplanned, ill-advised, and stupidly spontaneous.

The guy inhaled, waiting for me to puncture his hope.

I fiddled with my pen on the desk. “I don’t even know your name.”

He slouched in relief that I hadn’t shot him down straight away. “It’s Hamish.”

“Hamish.” I nodded with a small smile. “Nice name.”

“Olin is nice too.”

I tilted my head. “It’s strange.”

“Strange is always better than normal.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” I sighed, mainly to myself but smiled brighter as Hamish cocked an eyebrow. “Look, Hamish, I—”

His entire body deflated. “You’re busy, after all?”

I couldn’t exactly lie after I’d told him I had no plans, but I didn’t know what else to say. Lying had never come easy to me, and I’d used up what little talent I had lying to the cops on Gil’s behalf. And besides, I didn’t want to fib to a new colleague who I might end up working with for a long time. “I can’t go out with you because...”

I don’t want to date work friends.

I don’t mix business and pleasure.

I’m...eh...a lesbian.

Good one, O.

“She’s in a relationship with me. That’s why.”

My head shot up at the chilly, commanding voice as Hamish spun around.

I blinked, not believing who stood in my cubicle.

My heart instantly sat up and glowed. Gratefulness that he’d sought me out after our fight. Insane relief that it wasn’t truly over, no matter the fierce words we’d thrown at each other two nights ago.

I’d done my best not to contact him. I’d forced myself to give him space.

It worked.

Hamish scowled, looking Gil up and down. “You’re her boyfriend?”

Gil stood tall and impenetrable, hands balled by his sides, hair cascading over his forehead. His black T-shirt and tan jacket held no paint, mud, or blood for once, and his jeans were semi-presentable. His boots, on the other hand, were a colourful, dirty mess.

Gil looked at me, then back at Hamish, his jaw working hard as if chewing his lies, doing his best to make them sound believable. “Yes. Since high-school. She’s the love of my life.”

My chest ached at the way his voice gruffed with honesty, even while masquerading as falsehoods.

Hamish looked at me. “You didn’t say you were with someone.”

To be fair, I’d only worked here a few days. And I wasn’t the type of person to share such personal details with strangers. I smoothed my minor annoyance away, saying kindly, “I’m rather private about stuff outside of work.”

“Which is why she kept me a secret.” Gil strode forward, broaching the smallness of my cubicle and placing a possessive hand on my shoulder.

My skin instantly conducted electricity, sprouting goosebumps as if lightning forked from Gil’s touch. I hadn’t slept in days, yet all my sleepiness vanished just having his hand on me.

My legs bunched to haul me upright. I didn’t want to be sitting while Gil towered over me, but his fingers latched into muscle, pressing me firmly down.

I shot him a dirty look as I smiled as normally as I could at Hamish. “Anyway, thanks so much for the offer. I hope you have a great weekend.”

Hoping Hamish got the clue that he was dismissed, I kept my smile pasted on my face, waiting for him to go.

He licked his lips, then looked one last time at Gil holding me prisoner before sighing and heading back to his desk. The second he was gone, I swatted Gil’s hand from me and swooped to my feet. “What on earth are you doing here?”

My whisper sounded far too loud in the suddenly quiet space. Colleagues pretended to work but kept their attention on the new girl and her uninvited beau.

“I’ll tell you back at mine.” He grabbed my wrist, tugging me with urgency and strictness. “We need to leave. Right now.”

“What, why?” I twisted my arm, dislodging him. “I can’t go anywhere with you. I’m at work, Gil. I have a commitment to—”

“Olin? Everything okay?” Shannon stretched an annoyed smile with bright pink lip gloss, her hair tied back with a matching coloured ribbon. Her shrewd gaze flew from me to Gil and back again. “You know company policy. Friends and family have to be signed in and approved by management.”

“Approved by management?” Gil coughed. “You can’t prevent me from seeing her.”

Shannon’s lips pursed. “I can if you’re disrupting other employees.”

“I’m not disrupting anyone. Olin needs to leave. I’ve come to take her—”

“I’m staying,” I whispered harshly. “I finish work in less than an hour. I’ll come to yours when I’m done.”

“I’m not going anywhere without you.” His voice darkened with warning. Looking frostily at Shannon, he added, “Don’t penalize her for this. Blame me. Blame me, but it won’t change the fact that I’m taking her.”

My mouth hung open. I rushed to do damage control. “I can’t take time off. I literally just started here. I told you, I’ll come to you when I’m finished, and not before.”

His gaze flashed, his body rippling with energy. “You’re not leaving here on your own.”

My mind tangled the past with the present. He’d always escorted me home. Always there to chaperon and guard. I’d always felt so safe in his presence, knowing he’d never let anything or anyone hurt me.

Despite Shannon watching us, a twinge of pain left over from our fight made me whisper, “You were fine letting me walk home in the dark the other night.”

His face turned to grey ash. “I know. It was the hardest and shittiest thing I’ve done in a very long time. I’m so sorry, O.”

I wasn’t expecting that, nor the sincere anguish on his face. It gave me nothing to argue against. It made me see the seriousness of his request.

Not that it’s a request.

I sighed, glancing furtively at Shannon. “Sorry about this, Shannon. I value my employment and won’t jeopardise—”

“It’s fine.” She nodded. “I’m sure there’s an explanation.”

“There is. An exceedingly simple one.” Gil raked a hand through his unruly hair. “I need Olin to come with me—”

“I’m staff, Gil.” I cut in. “I have an obligation to stay until it’s time to go home.”

Couldn’t he see he was messing up my chances for long-term employment?

I need this job!

I needed to pay my bills, so I no longer had to stare at my ceiling late at night and fear the words ‘bankruptcy’ and ‘homelessness’.

“Olin.” His big hand captured my cheek, erasing the outside world.

It was just us.

Us.

In a sea of people who no longer mattered.

His thumb caressed my cheekbone. His breath caught. And my heart answered his. My need matched his. I—

“You need to come with me.” His voice shattered the illusion of aloneness. Bringing his lips to my ear, he added, “Please, don’t argue. I don’t have the strength today.”

I pulled away, shivers still dancing over my skin. “I’m not being difficult, Gil. I truly can’t leave.” I pointed at the bank of elevators. “Go home. I’ll come by after work and we’ll talk.”

He crossed his arms, bracing himself against the many curious stares we’d invited. “Like I said before, you can’t leave this building alone.”

“What? Why?”

His jaw clenched. “He knows where you work.”

My heart tripped. The rush of adrenaline from unsuccessful kidnappings and Gil’s subsequent punishment sent worry-filled fire through my blood. “That arsehole? How the hell does he know where I work?”

“Look...I’m going to leave you guys to it.” Shannon cleared her throat. “This is obviously private. I’m sure if this is a family emergency, the company will understand if Olin leaves a little earlier than normal.”

“It is an emergency.” Gil never looked away from me while answering her coolly. “And she’s family. So it fits both criteria.”

I sucked in a breath.

Family.

I thought I was the only one who remembered that promise.

Family.

You’ve slept with this man.

Family.

You’ve loved this man.

Family.

Yet right now, you can’t understand this man.

“Okay, not a problem.” Shannon waved and tottered quickly away on her heels. The second she was gone, I repeated my question, my breath thin. “How does he know where I work, Gil?”

“Same way I do.” His body tensed. “Your contract with all your work info must’ve fallen out of your bag when he...when he tried to take you. He paid me a visit today...he showed me.”

So that’s where it went.

I’d looked highly incompetent when I’d arrived on my first day missing my signed contract.

My heart sank, two anchors of terror dragging it down. “He’ll know where I live too. My address was on there.”

He nodded.

Fear for myself was quickly overshadowed by fear for him. Placing a hand on his forearm, I did my best not to be hurt when he twitched and acted as if I’d stabbed him with my pen. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

His gaze snapped to mine. “I tell you I’ve put you in mortal danger and you still ask if I’m the one okay?” He backed away, rubbing his mouth with his hand. “Olin, you really need to stop caring about others and put yourself first. Your goddamn goodness is going to get you killed.”

“I’m sorry if my ethics annoy you.”

“They don’t annoy me, they’re just not wise. Worry about yourself for fuck’s sake.”

“Don’t you think it’s up to me who I worry about?”

“All I’m saying is, don’t waste your concern on me.”

“Ha!” I rolled my eyes. “I’ve literally worried about you my entire life.”

“Did I ask you to?” His temper thickened.

“No. It’s just what someone does when they care—”

“Stop.” He sighed heavily, torment cloudy in his gaze. “Shit...why are we fighting?” One hand opened and closed by his side, the other reached for me despite himself. Once again, he fought the familiar urge to touch, to connect, to bond. “I’m sorry for causing you stress, O. I—”

“It’s fine—”

“No.” He shook his head. “I never deserved you. Not even when I had you. I definitely don’t deserve your concern.”

His hand dropped.

He went to shove it into imprisoning pockets.

I reached out and stole it, wrapping our fingers together, binding us tight. Power ignited between us—something pure and transparent, honest and true. It hummed from his palm to mine, tingling and kissing its way up my arm and down my spine. “Just answer my question. Did he hurt you?”

Gil pulled away with a grimace. “No.”

That was a yes.

He glanced at the elevators, his desire to leave obvious. “Please...just trust me.” His eyes flickered with the past, with a younger Gil who I very much used to trust.

Before he’d broken my heart.

My questions and worry could wait.

“Okay.” Snatching my handbag, I logged off the work system and brushed past him with quick steps. He didn’t say a word, following me like a queen’s guard, waiting possessively close for the elevator to arrive.

My heart beat skipped and tripped having Gil so near. My body steadily betraying me, filling with desire, remembering what it was like to be with him, to kiss him, to have him inside me.

By the time the elevator scooped us up and swallowed us from the curious stares of employees, my knickers were damp and blouse far too tight.

I struggled to catch a proper breath.

I leaned forward to press the button for the ground level, but Gil beat me to it. Our fingers brushed on the button, sending a bolt of lust through my blood.

I didn’t know what it was about elevators, but it seemed all great romances had an epic kiss in the claustrophobic transportation. Our tale wasn’t exactly a romance, but Gil’s hand cupped my cheek, his thumb feathering over my bottom lip. “I’m sorry about the other night.”

I moaned under my breath as his thumb dipped into my mouth.

His emerald gaze darkened, his body pressing into mine until he crowded me against the mirrored wall. My spine crashed against the coolness, my breasts and belly tingling as he imprisoned me with his weight.

He trembled, his hips tight on mine, one arm braced on the mirror. “I’m sorry for being so rough with you. What I did...wasn’t right. I wasn’t...myself.”

My heart galloped as his voice caught with something dark and dismal.

My mind was useless, already drunk on his almost-kiss, but temper flared with coherency. “Wait...you’re apologising about having sex with me?”

He frowned, his stare fixated on my lips. “I was rough with you.”

“I liked it.”

“I fucked you like an animal.” His forehead furrowed as he shut his eyes. “I never wanted to treat you that way. I made a promise when I was younger to always treat you with—”

“With silk gloves?” I moved, trying to push his heavy weight off me. He didn’t let me, trapping me harder against the wall.

“With respect.” His eyes locked on mine. “Men are monsters, O. I learned that lesson right from childhood.”

The whorehouse of his youth.

The screams of sex.

The howls of men.

For the first time, comprehension bowled into me. “Is that why you never attempted to sleep with me when we were younger?” I didn’t know how I felt about that. In awe? In pain? Grateful? Frustrated? “You knew how much I wanted you, yet you never touched—”

“How could I touch you when I was that bastard’s son?” His mouth bracketed by strain. “I didn’t know if I could control myself, and judging by the other night, I was right to keep my dick in my pants.”

“Wow.” I went to push him away but wrapped my hands behind his neck instead. “You’re an idiot.” Jerking his head down, I kissed him.

He convulsed as my tongue broke the seam of his lips, tasting him, claiming him. His hands dove into my hair, holding me still as he opened his mouth and kissed me exquisitely hard.

The hushed world of the elevator, the weightlessness of falling—it became a tinderbox. A mirrored prison where lust was a scalpel and desire a blade. Need sliced at my skin, blood bubbled with want.

Our lips slipped and glided, our teeth clacked, our tongues tangled.

His hips thrust into mine. His hands dropped to my ass, squeezing me, massaging with animalistic paws, wrenching me against the hard steel in his jeans.

The elevator pinged.

The doors opened.

The architecturally light-drenched lobby ripped apart our hushed, erotic world.

Gil tore himself from me, stumbling backward with his hands shaking and lips wet. I swayed on my heels, swallowing hard, smoothing my skirt down with trembling fingers.

I managed to walk off the elevator and ignore the amused stares of two security guards, my body still clenching for Gil.

What the hell just happened?

Pulling me to the side, wrapping us in shadows of a corridor leading to the washrooms, Gil gritted his teeth. “That shouldn’t have happened.”

“I kissed you. I started it.”

“Yeah, but I—”

“Don’t worry, Gil. I wanted you to maul me. I like it when you lose control. The only thing I don’t like is when you apologise for it.”

“It can’t happen again.”

“I’m getting tired of hearing that.” I sniffed. “It’s repetitive.”

“It’s the truth.”

A dagger slipped through my ribs and found my heart. “Why are you so determined to stop this?”

His eyes sought mine, empty but depthless at the same time. “Because I only destroy those I love. And I fucking refuse to destroy you.”

I rubbed at my aching chest. “But what about us?”

He exhaled hard, his tan jacket creaking a little. “There is no us.”

“There’s always been an us.”

“It’s because of us that you’re in danger!”

“What does he want from you, Gil?”

His face shut down, his features unreadable. “Nothing.”

I walked away, my heels condemning and loud on the travertine floor.

“O.” His fingers wrapped around my arm, dragging me to a stop. “I can’t let you leave. You can’t be alone. Not until I figure this out.”

Annoyance trickled with previous passion, creating a cyclone of unresolved emotion. “You’re forgetting I’ve lived alone for most of my life. I’ve managed perfectly well without you. ”

I aimed for that to bruise just like he’d just bruised me, but I wasn’t prepared for the way sorrow painted his body with tragedy. “I know.”

My fight faded as fast as it had arrived. “You can’t keep what you’re hiding a secret. Not anymore. I deserve to know what’s going on. You can tell me. You know I won’t judge you. I’ll help—”

“Stop.” His eyes darkened, glinting like chiselled stone. “You want to know? Fine. He wants you because he knows you mean something to me. That you’ll ensure I’ll obey.” He snarled as if he could deny it. “He’s right.”

“Gil, I—”

“I didn’t want this to happen. I tried to keep you away so this wouldn’t happen. But it has and...”

“And?”

His muscles locked in place. “And now we both have to pay.”

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Chapter Nineteen

______________________________

Gil

-The Past-

“OLIN MOSS, WHAT have I told you about talking in class?”

I looked up from the pop test Ms Tallup had assigned us. Olin’s shoulders hunched, her head slid to the side, her gaze catching mine.

My fingers tightened around my pen.

The class was silent.

It’d been silent since the test began.

My hearing was acutely attuned to Olin’s every noise, and she hadn’t made a peep.

My eyes narrowed to blades as Ms Tallup snapped her fingers with a sniff. “Detention, Miss Moss. This afternoon.”

“Wait. But I—” Olin held up a hand. “I wasn’t talking—”

“Arguing won’t help your case.” Ms Tallup sat in her chair and ignored the class as Olin threw me a disbelieving look.

I wanted to tell her not to worry. That she didn’t have to do detention because she hadn’t done anything wrong. But I couldn’t because I knew why this had happened.

Last week, the deputy principal had found Olin and me hiding behind the school gym after hours. I’d had a rough night. My ribs were sore from being punished for not getting payment from some john at three in the morning.

My father decided to take payment in blood.

My blood.

After he’d finished, I’d walked out of the house—if that was even a word for the hellhole I lived in—and wandered (stumbled) the streets. At dawn, I’d found an old sketch pad abandoned on the footpath a block away from school. Some of the pages held doodles of dogs and flowers, but the rest were blank, offering a distraction from my pain.

I’d always liked to sketch, but I hadn’t attempted anything in years.

But as the sun rose and I waited for Olin to arrive at school, I drew the building, the street, and the tree outside our classroom. I even drew Olin—or what I could from memory.

All day at school, I deliberated whether to show her. The work wasn’t very good, but it’d made all the other shit in my life fade knowing I could create art from nothing.

The magic it gave me while dragging a pen over paper had been life-changing.

As life-changing as Olin.

Despite my lines being rudimentary and my skill lacking, I decided to show her, picking a spot where we wouldn’t be seen by other students behind the gym. She’d been so happy to share in my newfound hobby, so grateful that I’d given her another piece of myself, and we’d hung out for far longer than we planned.

And of course, we’d been caught.

Caught at the exact moment Olin put her hand on mine and our eyes locked while we sat against the brick wall. My mouth watered. My heart galloped. My stomach churned for the taste of her lips.

We’d been so close.

So fucking close to our first kiss.

But then the gruff command from the deputy ripped us apart.

I’d been furious.

But in an awful way, I was grateful.

Furious to have the perfect almost-kiss ruined, but thankful that I didn’t lose control and ravage her.

If I touched her.

When I touched her.

She deserved to be pampered and adored. To be given sweet and softness. Not devoured and mauled like I was desperate to do.

I’d thought keeping my distance physically would be easier as time went on, knowing we could be with each other when I was sure she loved me and could never take that back.

But...it only grew harder.

So damn hard it was a physical ache every second of every damn day. I couldn’t breathe some days. I woke up at night with an unbearable pain to run over to her house and climb through her window.

To crawl into her bed, to kiss her as hard as I could, to take everything she offered me.

And that sort of desperation terrified me.

I’d have nightmares about making her scream like the whores inside my home.

I’d wake in full sweats at the thought of making her cry with my inherited savagery.

As the weeks went on, more and more fear layered my fraying self-control.

I was afraid to kiss her more than ever now.

Afraid I’d hurt her with the naked violence coursing in my blood.

Olin shrugged helplessly.

I shook my head, commanding her to stay quiet. I’d deal with Ms Tallup after class.

She gave me a grateful smile, blew me a kiss, then returned to her test with tense shoulders.

For the remaining twenty minutes, I scribbled answers as best I could while my brain focused on more important things. The deputy obviously told Ms Tallup he’d caught us. Therefore, she’d done this to punish me.

But why?

What the hell does she want from me?

The bell rang, signalling chairs to squeal away from desks and papers to be gathered in a fast rustle. The mass exodus of students was good because it meant I could speak to Ms Tallup and get far away before my temper exploded.

Olin stood, slinging her messenger bag over her shoulder. She caught my fingers as I walked past, but I pointed at the corridor. “Go.”

She bit her lip. After a second, she obeyed, disappearing with the throng of other teenagers.

The second she’d gone, I looked at Ms Tallup.

She stood at the front with her arms crossed and a sick smirk upon her lips. “Mr. Clark. Not rushing off to spend time with your girlfriend today?” She cocked her head. “Does this mean the allure has finally worn off? Are you going to focus on your studies instead of your...” Her gaze dropped down my front, locking on my crotch.

She licked her lips.

Thick disgust rippled down my back.

I knew that look.

It was the look of grotesque hunger when a man looked at a whore he’d bought for the night.

I wasn’t a whore.

Yet my teacher looked at me as if I was one.

Thick fear filled me, whispering answers to why Ms Tallup picked on me. Why she watched me more than any other student. Why I felt so on edge around her.

She wanted something from me.

Something sickening.

Something she would never fucking get.

I marched toward her and punched my test onto her desk. “Olin doesn’t deserve detention. Tell her it was a mistake.”

Her face darkened; she laughed coldly. “A student telling a teacher what to do?” She shook her head, clucking her tongue. “Now, that will never do.”

My nostrils flared, doing my best to control my rage. “I’ll do it. I’ll serve the detention.”

“You weren’t the one talking.”

“Don’t care. Olin wasn’t either.”

“Punishment is given to those who deserve it.”

I shivered. Her words were a little too close to the thoughts in my own head. I got it rough at home, but maybe...I deserved it.

Maybe I wasn’t as good as I strived to be. Maybe my dad knew something about me that I didn’t, and his beatings were part of a punishment I did deserve.

I shook those thoughts away. If that was the case, I would weather the storm. But I wouldn’t let Olin be hurt. She’d never done anything wrong in her life.

Removing my fist from her desk, I backed up a step and lowered my voice. “Why do you hate me so much?”

Her eyes widened. “Hate you? Why on earth do you think I hate you?”

“Oh, I dunno. A few reasons.”

“None that are real.” She waved her hand, her gaze once again landing on my body. “Now, run along.”

“I’m not a child. I don’t ‘run along’.”

She smiled coyly. “Oh, believe me. I know you’re not a child, Gilbert Clark.”

I crossed my arms against the sudden chill. “I should be done with school if it wasn’t for you. I think the least I deserve is the truth. You don’t like me. I get it. I’m fine with it. But don’t take it out on Olin. She’s one of your best students.”

“She was.” She sniffed. “Until she started hanging out with you.”

“Her grades are still excellent.”

Ms Tallup leaned over the table, casting a subtle glance at the door and empty corridor. “It’s not her grades I’m bothered about.”

I swallowed hard as her eyes once again skated down my front, lingered on my jeans, then snaked their way back to my face. “I’m worried what you’re doing to her. She’s underage. You could be arrested.”

“Arrested?” I backed up. “For what?”

“For sleeping with your innocent little girlfriend.”

I swallowed hard. I didn’t like this conversation at all.

The dynamics were off. The subjects all wrong. No way should a teacher discuss a student’s love life. No way should the power she held be used to condemn and control me.

Terror slicked down my spine. “Why do you care what Olin and I do outside of school hours?”

She stilled. Her eyes flashed as she made a show of fluffing papers into a neat pile. “I don’t. But you should.”

“Why?” Goosebumps dotted my arms as her face sharpened, dropping the pretence she’d held for years.

With a short, tight chuckle, she whispered, “You’re a smart boy. You’ll figure it out.”

She left me standing wordless and disgusted as she swept from the classroom with her hips swaying and a sly smile on her lips.

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