Текст книги "Masterpiece"

Автор книги: Xavier Neal

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 10 страниц)

Jovi

Sealing another box, I glance at Hayli, who has remains of the friend I once knew, but isn't the same person any more.

(I guess neither am I. Over the last couple of weeks she's started to pull away from not just me, but life. There are times when I'm not even sure she's present any more. Does that make sense? Like she's physically here, but mentally a million miles away.)

“You okay?” I ask, flopping on the edge of my bed.

She nods slowly. “Are you...are you sure you still wanna move away?”

“More than ever,” I rush to answer. “I think before I wanted to be free of this place, but now it's a need.”

(Away from my dad and his iron tight grip was what I thought I needed, but I was wrong. I just needed something worth living for. Something exciting. Something to make me feel alive. Something outside of the pages of an art book. I needed something to help me create my own masterpiece.  And I got it. And now it's gone.)

“I think it'll be good to have a fresh start. Some distance between what's happened here. A place where I'm probably not still on the front page cover for being kidnapped by a drug lord.”

“Any news on that yet?” Hayli rubs her arm. “Any word about where he is?”

“No,” I sigh softly.

(Which should worry me, but dad says he's got eyes all around the country watching out for me. Before I probably would've thrown a tantrum and bitched about how smothering that feels. If anything, I find it relieving. It makes the idea of shutting myself inside forever seem dumber and dumber.)

“What about you?” I clear my throat, the gnawing insecurity trying to creep up again. “Did you decide where you're gonna go?”

“Montana,” she answers and nibbles on her bottom lip.

(Her confidence is damn near non-existent. I haven't seen her flash skin since before the funeral. Haven't heard her talk about getting laid. Hell, other than to help me pack these last couple of days, she hasn't left her apartment. No. I haven't left my own house for more than the required grief counseling, and the occasional meal requested by Nadie, but I have been trying to move forward as best I can. A little bit. Every day. It sucks ass, but I'm doing it. Part of me feels like it's what Merrick would've wanted. I owe him that much.)

“My parents think some time away will be good and I don't know, I've done this whole city thing forever. Maybe some cows or tulips will be good for me.”

“Maybe.” I nod. “Think you'll get internet?”

“God I hope so,” she whispers. “I need to be able see your face at least once in a while.”

With a smile I state, “You better come visit me. I swear if I have to fly up there and put you in my suitcase to get you to come see me I will.”

“You know I hate to fly.”

“Road trip it,” my suggestion gets a goofy smirk.

Unexpectedly, there's a knock on my door before Nadie's face peeks in. “Jo' there's someone downstairs to see you.”

Confused I scrunch my eyebrows. “Who?”

“Ronnie? Johnnie?”

“Vinnie?” Hayli tries to help.

“Yes!” She points at her. “Vinnie! There's a Vinnie here to see you.”

“What's Vinnie doing here?” Hayli asks me as Nadie disappears.

“Beats the hell out of me. I haven't seen him since...” the end of the sentence fades, but I try to continue. “No clue why he'd be visiting me.”

“Maybe he heard you were leaving tomorrow? Wanted to say goodbye?”

“Maybe...” I turn the light switch off on our way out of my room. “Are you gonna come by one more time?”

“Definitely,” she answers with a gentle elbow to my side. As we head down the stairs she asks, “Did Nadie finally get you a car?”

“They decided I should just take her SUV and get her something smaller.”

“That's a terrible idea.” Hayli chuckles. “Giving you something you can run over small children in.”

“Hayli!” I snap arriving at the front door where Vinnie is waiting.

She winks and gives Vinnie a small smile. In a soft voice she says, “Hi.”

“Hey,” he cheerfully greets her. “Leaving already?”

“Yeah. We're done packing and Jovi's dad wants to do a father daughter dinner thing.”

“So he's not...here...” Vinnie looks around suspiciously.

“No. So, you can relax,” I giggle opening the door for Hayli.

“I wasn't...worried,” he nervously comments, following Hayli's footsteps. After she says goodbye to us, Vinnie turns to me. “I won't take up too much of your time. I just came by to give you something.”

“Oh yeah?” I fold my arms across my chest. “What's that?”

He holds up a finger then points to the road where I see Shelby pull into my driveway in a car that cracks my still healing heart. Words don't seem to be able to find their way out of me as I watch Shelby climb out of the white Audi.

“I can't,” I whisper my denial.

“You can,” Vinnie counters. “It's legal. All the paperwork is in your name. Tags are real. She's even insured in your name for the next five years.”

My jaw bobs in disbelief.

“I promised Merrick that if anything happened to him, I'd return her home where she belonged. To you.”

Shelby bounces over to us and dangles the keys out for me. “Drives like a dream.”

(Please hold all I drive like a nightmare jokes until the end.)

“Vinnie...”

“Look Jovi,” he states in a shaky voice. “There's nothing I can say or do to express my apologies for what you're dealing with or with what you went through. You were thrown into this world and not once blamed any of us for what we did or why we do it. You've got a good heart, Jovi Carter, and the world needs more people like you in it. If you ever need anything, big or small, do not hesitate to call on me. Ten minutes, or ten years from now.”

In a small sob, I thank him. “I appreciate that.”

He nods and starts to back up slowly. “Good luck at college, Jovi.”

“Good luck with...everything,” I retort.

Vinnie gives me a short wave, drops an arm around Shelby and heads towards his car.

Clutching the key tightly, I rest it against my heart, the ache I had just started to cope with hurting more than ever before.

The sound of the door opening causes me to glance over my shoulder. Nadie immediately rushes to me at the sight of the tears in my eyes. She pulls me into her arms and cradles me.

“What's wrong Jo?” Trying to stifle a sob, I shake my head. “Is that...whose car is that?”

“Mine,” my answer causes more tears to fall. “It's mine now...”

**

After I cried over the car, I buried myself in my room, looking through my favorite Van Gogh books and scrolling through the pictures we used for my project. The memories seemed to cushion the initial pain, but add to the underlying lingering despair. Eventually my dad came home and insisted we grab food from The Box.

In honor of my fiance I order a thing of nachos that I poke at instead of eat.

“You're back to not eating,” my father points out, having a bite of a burger.

“It comes in waves.” Picking the cheese off, I stare down at the plate filled with food I know I won't consume. Food I know Merrick would've. “How's your burger?”

“Good,” he answers as he wipes his hands. “You wanna talk about what's bothering you?”

I shake my head.

My father leans back in his seat. “Are you all packed to leave tomorrow?”

“I am.”

“Good.” Dad wets his lips and asks, “Anything we need to get you before we leave in the morning? New sheets? Pillows? Shamp-”

“We're good dad,” I cut him off. “Just have to fill up with gas and go.”

“And that Audi in the driveway?”

“It's mine.”

Uncomfortable he tilts his head at me. “Jo-”

“It was Merrick's.” Pushing my plate away I lean back in the booth. “He wanted me to have it. Well, that and this hat.”

(His favorite black hat. It was waiting for me in the front seat. Looks good on me, when I'm not bawling over it.)

“Can you even drive that thing?”

“Yeah,” I quickly answer. “Err...Kinda.”

Surprisingly he says, “I can show you how.”

Baffled I croak, “What?”

“I know how to drive a stick. I'll show you how.”

“Why would you...you hate cars like that.”

“I hate what people who drive cars like that do with them. I trust Merrick didn't turn you into one of them.”

“They weren't bad people, dad.”

“I believe that,” he surprises me again. “After hearing the stories and a little research of my own, I've gathered that conclusion.”

(That's a relief.)

“But they made bad choices, Jo'. They have to pay for them.”

“They did. With their lives.” Running my fingers through my hair I ask, “Any news on The Devil?”

“Not at this time,” he answers quickly. “I don't want you to worry about it either. I want you to focus on your future. What you plan to do with your life now. I want you to know that you're my daughter and I love you. I know this is hard, but you have to trust me to do my job Jo'. More importantly you have to do yours...”

(My job is to move forward. To move on with my life. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting Merrick. God, I could never forget him. He would want me to keep my life going. To follow my dreams. How the hell do you let all your other dreams live when your biggest one died?)

Jovi

(The first month was the hardest. I spent very little time outside of classes and studying. I got a job at a local art museum, which helped further the distraction on how much I missed Merrick. During that time, I found myself checking my phone constantly for texts, convinced it was vibrating when it wasn't. Sometimes I swore I saw his face around campus or at the local restaurants close to the apartment. I know that sounds a little crazy, but haven't you ever lost someone? Didn't you go through that? September and October both got a little easier. Instead of missing him in everything I started pretending he knew. Started communicating with him, like he could hear me. Eventually it took away the remaining aches. I'm not ready to have a life without him in it, so if talking to him like he can hear me is what I have to do, then so be it. And yes, I still wear my engagement ring. I just try to change the subject when he's brought up. I'm not ready to relive it again and again, so for now, the tag line is...we're in a long distance relationship. Just so happens it's a very long distance one. Longest one possible.)

“Dad, I really gotta go,” I insist on the outside of the lecture hall.

“Did you get Nadie's care package?”

“I did.”

“Did you get mine?”

On a small huff I push my hair behind my ear. “Not yet.”

“It should be there soon.”

“Okay Dad. I'll let you know. But I really have to go.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” He playfully asks on the other end.

“No. I'm trying not to waste your hard earned dollars and be late for class. I'll call you later.” Seeing some of my study partners, I wave to them. “Promise.”

“Fine. Fine,” he grumbles. “You know I love you, Jovi.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

After hanging up, I hit the silence button, and slide it into my bag.

(We've come a long way since August. The aftermath of my kidnapping broke a lot of walls that needed to come down. Not just between us, but between him and Nadie. I confessed everything I could about Merrick without completely selling out Vinnie and the others. It killed my father to hear it. I could tell by the way rage constantly came into his eyes. I'm not sure it was always because of Merrick or because of the secrets I had been keeping. However, I vowed to stop that. To be honest, even if I knew it would hurt. Grief counseling helped a bit with that aspect. Even though Dad and I are the furthest we've ever been physically we are definitely the closest. Like I said before, it's sad that it takes death to bring people together, but it happens.)

As soon as I flop down into my seat, Trey leans over my shoulder and asks, “Are you still coming to The Tank tonight?”

“It's half price beer and nachos,” I comment back. “Of course I am.”

“They have these ones called Ultimate Nachos on the menu now. Saw them and knew you would go for them.”

Pulling out my tablet I smirk. “I do have a huge appreciation for nachos.”

“One of a very few ladies who does.”

In a joking tone I shrug. “What can I say? I have a taste for the finer things in life.”

Trey chuckles a little and belts out, “Oh! Speaking of taste for the finer things in life, have you seen the mural someone painted on the sidewalk outside of the Drauary building?”

Shaking my head, I turn in my seat to finally face him. “No. Someone made a mural on the sidewalk?”

“Yup. In the history of Ashwin, I don't recall it ever happening.”

“Do you have a boring history?” When Trey laughs I ask, “So, what did someone paint? Mr. Rodgers Rainbow? A penis painting?”

Trey laughs under his breath, “Ha. A penis painting.” Shaking the laughter away he declares, “You just gotta see it. I'll show you after class. You got time?”

“Uh...yeah. I don't have to meet Julie for dance until this afternoon.”

(I know what you're thinking. Me? Dance? Well I had to have some sort of physical education and it's an art based school. I'm in Modern Dance, which is a bit out there, but you've seen me, nothing about me says ballerina. No. Strip teasing isn't offered. You're starting to sound like Hayli, which just makes me miss her more. Haven't heard much from her in the past couple of months, but with Thanksgiving on the horizon, I'm hoping maybe she goes home at the same time I do.)

Our professor walks in the room and wastes no time starting the lecture. Slouching down in my seat, I take notes on my tablet, fully engaged in everything that's being given to me. Between her delivery and the information she's sharing, I'm captivated for the entire two hours, the only thing on my mind being how to make the facts stick for the final exam.

At the end of class, Trey waits for me to put my stuff away before escorting me out of the room. “Hey, how's the new Bronsua exhibit at the museum? I keep meaning to make it down there to see it, but between dating Andrea and teaching music lessons to the Foster twins, time's been a tight.”

“You don't have to explain,” I assure him, bumping my body with his. “It's cool. I get it. Life happens to the best of us.”

He smiles softly at me.

(No. We haven't hooked up. Haven't even thought about it. Didn't you hear me tell you I tell people I'm in a relationship still? Just because he's gone, doesn't mean he's gone. To no surprise though, Trey has been a pretty great friend. Easy to talk to. Easy to be around. Most importantly, easy to ask when you get lost on campus. Hey! It's a big campus!)

The thoughts of Merrick have me toying with my engagement ring, which has become an unconscious, as much as conscious, habit every time I think about him. Trey starts asking me about my choice on the final semester art project during our cross of the campus to where the art work is waiting to be seen. While I half-heartedly answer, I try to keep as much of my mind there as I can, instead of on the last time I saw a sidewalk mural.

(Do you remember?)

“There!” Trey yanks me by the hand. “Look!”

On the ground is painted the most gorgeous blue swirled pond with beautiful bright yellow, bright orange, and bright red ducks painted in it. The sight causes a gasp out of me that I try to catch with my hand.

“Crazy right?” Trey adjusts his shoulder bag. “It's got a whole Starry Night thing to it.”

“Van Gogh,” I whisper out trying not to cry. “It's...it's got a Van Gogh style.” Feeling panic settle in, I start to back up, and insist, “I um...I really have to go Trey. I completely forgot I was supposed to be meeting Ray Ray for um...coffee.”

(You're damn right I'm full of shit. But telling me after seeing something like that you wouldn't run too?)

He barely gets out bye before I have turned around and am rushing towards the parking lot. Shaking away the thoughts that are trying to strangle me, the impossible possibilities that are trying to rattle, I pick up speed until I'm stopped sharply by a sight that I can't fathom.

“Looks like you've seen a ghost...” he says slowly before smiling so wide that he rips out my heart with it.

(No. Fucking. Way.)

Merrick

(You probably want a few answers too huh? Jovi first. Well, assuming she's willing to listen. Hey! Hey! Don't use that tone with me...)

I slide my hands into my jeans and simply stare at the vision I've only been able to observe from afar for months.

(Fuck, it's felt like lifetimes.)

On a low whisper I sigh, “Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to be this close to you?”

Jovi's mouth creaks open, but shuts immediately. Watching her body shake I realize that maybe there was a better way to do this.

(Maybe I should've called first?)

“Jovi-” Without waiting for me to finish, she slaps me across the face.

(Fuck! Being hit with a ring hand is no joke.)

“You....bastard...” She growls under her breath. “You...monster..” Storming past me, she picks up her pace still mumbling, but I'm not sure what.

(I'm not sure I wanna know what.)

“Jovi, wait! Wait!” I call out behind her, jogging to get in front. As soon as I do, I beg again, “Wait! Let me explain!”

“I don't wanna fucking hear it,” she chokes, tears clearly doing their best not to leak out.

“You do,” I plead and grab her arms to stop her in place. “Hear me out. Please.”

In a sharp whisper she shoves me away. “You died!”

“I-”

“I watched you die!”

“Give me a few minutes to explain everything. I'm begging you.” My desperation seems to be weighing her down. “Take me to the ducks.” Her eyebrows lift. “Still haven't seen 'em. Take me, please?”

“I shouldn't...”

Bravely I push and whisper, “Please.”

Jovi presses her lips together clearly losing whatever internal debate she is suffering. On a sharp breath she turns around. “Come on. They're this way...”

(Oh thank God. I don't think I could've handled her not at least giving me a second to explain. Trust me. I didn't want to keep this from her any more than she wanted to be out of the loop, but I did what I had to do. Look, I'll explain in a few. Probably apologize to you too. Chill out.)

The two of us walk around to the pond I've seen her sit by and study. I've seen her laugh beside with her new friends. Even get hit on by some of them.

(Do you have any idea how fucking hard it was not to storm over here and beat the fuck out of them?)

We settle on a bench, probably both thankful the area is deserted. I've walked around enough times to know more or less the busy hours. Just so happens this isn't one of them. For a few moments we simply sit in the stillness. I don't mind. Just being this close to her is enough.

“Start talking, Merrick, before I get up and walk away without ever looking back.”

Stretching my arm around the back of the seat, I begin, “When you were kidnapped, I went to your father for help. I told him it was my fault you were kidnapped and that I would do everything in my power to get you back safely. In exchange for helping me, I offered myself up. I confessed I was Ghost and that he could lock me up, but had to let me save you first.”

“How could you do that?” Jovi turns her body at me sharply. “How could you just give yourself up like that?”

“Saving you was all that mattered.” Her face twitches as her hand looks like it's aching to touch me. “Did he tell you any of this?”

“No. All he would say was, you helped the police find me and that the rest was not allowed to be discussed.”

(Such a 'by the book man'. Well, for the most part.)

“After I confessed, I pitched my plan to him. Told him what I needed from him. At the end of it, when he had agreed to do his part, I did mine. He wanted names and all the details I could give up about The Devil and his associates. I gave up the crooked cops, the crooked lawyers, doctors, city officials. Anyone who associated with The Devil were all fair game except the family. I'd never give them up. About half way through my ramblings about it all is when he pitched me a deal. If I brought you back to his life, he would give me back mine.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, if I agreed to give up all that information and testify against The Devil in open court, I wouldn't have to serve a day behind bars. Instead, he would put me in WITSEC until it was safe for me to come out.” Cautiously I scoot closer. “That once I came out, my time would be considered served and I would have a clean slate.”

In disbelief Jovi shakes her head. “No...”

“Yeah. Not exactly the kind of deal a person can pass up.”

(Would you? Didn't think so.)

“So, we faked my death.” Anger appears on Jovi's face and I quickly state, “I didn't have a choice. Once your father realized there were so few people he could actually trust, he arranged this on his own. The death had to look real as did the aftermath.”

In a hurt voice she says, “I mourned for you...”

“I know.”

“I've been mourning...”

“I know.”

“I've been to grief counseling!”

“I know...”Swallowing my own sadness I say, “I know it all and I'm sorry baby, but I didn't have a choice.”

“I watched that house explode!”

“Because it did. The Devil had underground escape tunnels. I used the one underneath and blew up the house with a little help from a device your father gave me. Afterwards I was escorted out of the state and brought here. Put in an apartment I share with an officer fresh out of the academy and began being pumped for information on record the next morning. New name. New identity. New life. I was given the clean chance I wanted. When I took that final job for The Devil it was to get out. To get here with you, with no ties to that world. No part of my past lurking. So, when your father offered me everything I wanted, I couldn't turn it down.”

Slowly she shakes her head. “Unbelievable.” After a short pause she snaps, “Do you have any idea the emotional hell I've been suffering?”

“I do. Believe me, I do...”

“Whose idea was it for you to be brought here? To the city where I am?”

“Your father loves you more than I think you know.” The comment causes tears to come to her eyes. “He said the only man he trusted as much as himself to take care of his girl, was the man who would risk his own life to bring her home.” When she tries to smile I continue, “Aside from testifying and giving up all information I possibly could, I had to keep my distance from you until he gave me the okay. Oh! And I couldn't commit any illegal acts.”

“So you're little painting escapade?”

“May or may not have been me. Crazy how those cameras weren't working last night.”

(Destin may or may not have rubbed off on me just a bit.)

Jovi fights the urge to smile. “Unbelievable.”

“I am.”

“Ugh,” she grunts. “Don't get cocky.”

“Don't get sassy.”

When I smile this time, I lean forward. “I missed you so fucking much.”

Her face trembles as her shaky hand rises to touch my cheek. “I missed you too...”

“I couldn't live without you,” my confession is preceded by my forehead resting on hers. “Not then. Definitely not fucking now. Please don't make me.”

Jovi grips the front of my t-shirt shutting her eyes, the last of her tears falling in my lap. “I can't just forgive you that easy.”

“I can't just give you up that easy baby...”

“I can't either,” she whispers before pushing her lips feverishly against mine.

Hungry, hopeful, and just down right happy, I bury every emotion I've been fighting inside her as I suck in every one of hers. Our mouths stay connected as my arms flex around her, protecting her from everything and everyone.

(You better fucking believe nothing else will ever hurt this girl again. Damn sure not me.)