Текст книги "Something for the Pain"
Автор книги: Victoria Ashley
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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 14 страниц)
I FIND MYSELF PARKED IN the alley, waiting for Memphis to arrive. It’s been months since we have been here together, and tonight I really need to sit back with him and enjoy a good fight, or hell, even a bad fight; just something to help me relax a bit.
It doesn’t take long for Memphis’ truck to pull up next to mine, parking in any random open space. It’s pretty jam packed here tonight, so most of the cars are practically parked on top of each other.
Memphis jumps out of his truck, dressed in his old leather jacket, a black shirt, and dark jeans. He wears the shit out of that damn jacket. “This better be a damn good fight for you to pull me away tonight.” He complains. “Lyric has the night free, yet I’m here in this dirty alley full of shirtless sweaty dudes with my annoying brother.”
I shake my head and laugh at his greeting. Nothing has changed about that over the years. It’s a welcoming feeling . . . strangely.
“I couldn’t tell ya, dick. I don’t have a clue who’s fighting tonight. My ass just needed to get out and see a show.” I walk over to Memphis and sling my arm over his shoulder. “What better way to enjoy that shit without my big brother? Come on, dude; live a little. You’re turning into an old man.”
I walk ahead of him, swerving my way through the crowd. A few random people stop Memphis, asking him if he’s back to fight, but I just keep walking, looking for a good spot to watch from; somewhere up front and fucking personal. I want to see some blood tonight and get my mind off everything else that’s been happening since moving in with Tripp and Lucas.
Out of nowhere some pretty brunette chick appears next to me, holding out a red cup. She smiles at me, before shoving it in my direction. “You’re that Alex guy, right? You fought here a while back and kicked that dude’s ass . . . I remember that night.”
I smirk and reach for the cup, remembering how good that fight felt. It was one of my first times fighting with a clear head . . . off of the drugs and heavy alcohol that I had been drowning myself in after my mom passed.
“Yeah, glad you enjoyed the fight.”
Smiling, she reaches for another cup from the tray she’s holding and hands it to Memphis as he joins us. “You’re both badass fighters. Hope you boys enjoy the show tonight.”
She waits for Memphis to grab the cup she’s holding out before winking at us both and walking away to refill her tray.
“What the fuck?” Memphis takes a swig of his beer. “Since when did they get chicks to pass out drinks?”
Laughing, I shake my head and take a swig from my own glass. “I have no clue, but that chick had perfect fucking timing. I’m definitely not complaining.”
Two guys enter the makeshift ring and stare each other down, ready to fuck each other up. The crowd starts going wild as the announcer introduces some guy named Cody and another name that I can’t even pronounce.
The blonde guy—Cody, comes at his opponent, swinging a bare-knuckle fist into the right side of his face, almost knocking him over. The blow causes everyone to get rowdy when the guy—whose name my mind can’t even remember, let alone pronounce–wipes at the blood pooling at the side of his mouth.
As he pulls his hand away and sees the blood, he starts rotating his shoulders, preparing himself for his comeback swing. After that hit, he needs something to earn his balls back.
“So what’s the deal,” Memphis asks, distracting me from the fight right as the other dude swings and misses. Damn . . . that was not the comeback he needed.
“What do you mean?” I point my cup out in front of me. “We’re watching a fight here and you’re worried about small talk?”
“Come on, dude,” Memphis growls out, being the overprotective pain in the ass that he is. “Something is fucking with your head. I can see it all over your face. Plus you’re tense as shit. You wanted me here, so talk.”
I pull my eyes away from the fight and turn to face Memphis, taking a quick drink of beer before talking. “Just some shit with Tripp. Nothing that I won’t be able to handle.”
“What kind of shit?”
“Damn, you’re quick on the questions tonight.” I point out in annoyance. “Just some shit. I’m dealing with it. I wanted you here so we could just chill and have a good time, so let’s do it. Drink up and enjoy the fight.”
“I’m not buying it. “Memphis reaches for my cup and finishes off my drink after he tosses his cup in the trash behind him. “There. There are no drinks and the fight just ended. Apichatpong lost his ass off.”
“Who the . . .” I look over Memphis’ shoulder to see the taller dude sprawled out on the dirty gravel, bloodied up and breathing hard. “Son of a bitch. . . . You’re good at ruining shit sometimes.”
Memphis shrugs as if he doesn’t care. “Tell me something I don’t already know. Like what’s going on with Tripp. That’s a big thing to deal with. You and Tripp are . . . well you and Tripp. I’ve never seen a friendship like the freaky one you two have.”
Well so much for coming here to watch a good fight. Damn . . .
“Follow me to Blue’s. Then we’ll talk.”
After fighting our way through the crowd, we both hop in our separate trucks and meet up in Blue’s parking lot. I haven’t been here since that night I left Jade’s to meet Tripp here; the night that she asked me to move in with her.
I jump out of my truck. “I need a few drinks to talk about this. Until then, don’t expect too much.”
Memphis just nods in understanding and follows me inside. He’s used to my shit by now.
We’re here for a good twenty minutes, him watching me as I slam back my third shot, before he decides to jump back in and push the subject.
“You slept with her didn’t you,” he says without hesitation. “It’s all over your face, Alex . . . and trust me, downing those shots aren’t going to do shit to clear your head. It doesn’t work. Trust me.”
“Is it really that fucking obvious?” I push the empty shot glass away and run a hand through my hair in frustration. “It’s eating at me, bro. I want more. I can’t look at her without wanting to put my hands all over her now and claim her as mine.”
“Why don’t you,” he questions. “Do it. Make her yours. You guys have been friends long enough to know if it would work out. You haven’t gotten tired of each other yet, right?”
I peel the label from my beer bottle and then slam back my beer. “It’s not that simple. She has a ‘boyfriend’ or whatever you call that douche. We all live in the same damn house.”
Memphis smiles knowingly and takes a drink from his beer bottle. “We both know that’s not what’s holding you back. You’d win her over that fucker any day. There’s not a damn thing that girl wouldn’t do for you. You’ve been there for each other through everything. He has nothing on you. It’s not even a competition.”
My heart speeds up as his words set in. He’s right. Lucas has nothing to do with me not making Tripp my girl. I’d steal her from him in a heartbeat without giving a shit. It’s the loss that scares me; the loss that we’d both feel if things didn’t work out and we had to move on from each other. I never want to be hurt by her and I sure as fuck would never want to hurt her. I care about her way too much.
“I know, man. I don’t know. It’s some shit I’ll have to figure out. Until then, I’ll just have to do my best to keep my hands to myself. No more sexual shit between us. Strictly friends.”
Memphis snickers. “That won’t last long.”
“It’ll have to.” I finish off my beer and stand up, ready to go home and jump in the pool to cool off. “Or I’m fucked.”
“You want Lyric to talk to Tripp and see how she’s feeling about all this shit?”
I shake my head and toss down some cash. “Hell no. That’s the last thing I want right now.” I throw my arms around Lyric and squeeze her as she attempts to sneak up on me. “You’re not that smooth, doll.”
“Damn you, Alex!” She slaps my chest and pulls away. “Why won’t you just let me scare you once? Just one time and I’ll be happy, dammit.”
I can’t do that.” I tease. “Well, I’m out of here so you guys can enjoy dinner. I have food waiting at home for me.”
“Lucky dog you.” Lyric teases. “Tell her to send dinner my way sometime. She’s got skills in the kitchen and I’ve been dying for her homemade dumplings.”
“Alright, man.” Memphis looks up at me, before wrapping his arms around Lyric and pulling her against him. “I’m here if you need anything. I mean that shit.”
“What’s going on,” Lyric questions, looking between the two of us. “Something I should know?”
“Not right now, doll.” I wink and start walking backward to get away before she can get it out of me. “Later.”
As soon as I get out to my truck, I strip out of my shirt and pull out of the parking lot. I need to hit that pool at full speed to blow off steam, and quick.
Before I blow off steam in the one place that I can’t. Between Tripp’s thighs . . .
OH MAN! OH MAN!
I don’t know what made me think that this tattoo was a good idea. I have to be stupid to think that I’d be able to handle his hands on me after last night. I can’t. I couldn’t, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to again.
Ever since I left his room at the shop today, I’ve been imagining the feel of his strong, tattooed hand holding my breast. Every time I looked down and saw his hand there, flashes of him between my legs invaded my mind. I couldn’t see anything else. I couldn’t seem to shake the image off. All I wanted was to feel what I was I was imagining. I wanted to feel him filling me.
“Babe . . . damn, you’re somewhere else tonight. Hello . . .” Lucas snaps his fingers in front of my face, saving myself from the dirty thoughts of Alex that I’ve been drowning in the whole night.
Even at a party I can’t seem to keep my mind straight. There are over thirty people here, yet the only person I want to talk to is Alex; the one person that isn’t here.
“Lucas . . .” I warn. “Don’t snap your fingers in front of my face. You know how much I hate that.” I push my way out of his arms to go make myself another drink. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long week and I’ve got a lot on my mind with the bar and stuff.”
Lucas pushes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, squeezing my breasts and jiggling them. Ugh . . . I fucking hate when he does that.
“Let me wake you up then, baby.” He rubs his lips up the side of my neck, before biting. I slightly pull away, before he can leave a mark.
“Alex . . .”
Shit . . .
My whole body becomes heated in embarrassment from calling Lucas by the wrong name. I seriously just cannot function tonight. This is so not good. I’ve never been this distracted in my entire life.
“Alex, huh? Is that who’s on your mind?”
Just as I think Lucas is about to pull away and get pissed at me for calling him by Alex’s name, he pulls me closer to him instead and slips his hand up the front of my dress, sliding his finger through my folds.
“Close your eyes, baby. I can finger fuck you as Alex if you want.” I lose my breath for a second at the mention of Alex finger fucking me. “You’re so fucking wet and warm. Fuck me . . .”
Just as he’s about to slide his finger inside me, I open my eyes and quickly push his hand away. He’s not Alex, and this shit with him pretending that he is, is beginning to fuck with me. “What the hell is it about Alex and me together that turns you on so much? Huh? Tell me.”
He grabs my arm and holds me in place as I attempt to walk past him. He’s making me so damn angry and uncomfortable right now. “You act as if I’m the only one that gets turned on by it. I think we both know that’s a lie.”
“Let go.” I yank my arm away and walk through the crowded kitchen to find a quiet place in the hallway. I really don’t want his friends to hear this. Lucas follows behind me with his arm around my waist, as if I’m going to run away from him. I should, because right now . . . I want to.
Lucas pins me against the wall and gets close to my face, with his hips pressing against me. “You don’t think that I’ve seen the way you and Alex are together? You guys sleep in the same damn bed. The two of you cuddle and shit. He even sings to you and plays the guitar to calm you down. He protects you. You protect him and look out for him. You guys are the perfect fucking couple without being an actual couple.”
He stops to brush his lips over mine. “There is so much sexual tension between you and Alex that even I can feel it in my balls. Watching two people that have wanted to fuck for as long as they have known each other finally break down and do it is by far the sexiest thing a man can witness, so yes, it turns me on. It makes me so fucking hard that it hurts, and it makes me even harder to know that I get to be the one to fuck you when he can’t anymore. Soon, I will be the only one between those sweet thighs of yours, and Alex will be left with a small taste that he can never sample again.”
Anger floods my body and all I want to do is knee Lucas in the fucking balls. I should have known there was an ulterior motive. “Lucas, you can be such a dick.” Placing my hands to his chest, I shove him backward and rush down the hall toward the back door. He can be such a little bitch sometimes when he drinks.
“Whoa! Baby!” Lucas follows at my heels, not getting the hint. “Stop, please. Come here.”
I turn around, stopping him dead in his tracks. “What? Just leave me alone, Lucas! You’ve had too much to drink and you’re acting like a straight up ass.”
He reaches out and runs his hands up my arms to soothe me. “I didn’t mean for it to come out as harshly as it did. I’m sorry. Okay? I’m jealous of what you guys have. I’m human. I’m really fucking jealous, and I thought that after you guys realized how awkward it would be together, that it would change, but it wasn’t awkward at all.”
Swallowing hard, I look up to meet his desperate eyes. I almost feel sorry for him, but not enough to lie and tell him that I want him more than I do Alex. “I don’t really know what to say right now, Lucas. I’m pretty pissed and just want to go home.”
“I’m leaving in the morning, Tripp. The bank wants to fly me out to New York to see how I do running one of the biggest branches that they have. I’ll be gone for a week. I think when I get back that we should discuss making us exclusive. It’s been long enough, and I’m ready to make you mine.”
What the fuck . . .
“In a week, Lucas? One week . . . as in seven days?” I swallow hard and fight to catch my breath. I don’t know if a week is long enough. I feel as if I’m suffocating at just the thought of being serious with Lucas. That’s definitely not a good sign. “I don’t know . . .”
“A week is plenty of time, Tripp. It’s been almost a year. I really don’t want to wait anymore. I can’t. Those other girls have nothing compared to you. You wanted us to keep it light and fun . . . so that’s what I’ve been doing. After next week I’m done with that shit.”
I reach out for Lucas’ keys as he dangles them in front of me. “Sorry for being an ass. I’ll let you drive us home.”
I squeeze Lucas’ keys in my hand as he leaves me alone to say goodbye to his friends. Normally I would say my goodbyes too, but tonight I just can’t seem to bring myself to, so instead, I jump into the driver’s seat of Lucas’ vehicle and wait for him. All I really want to do right now is go home and crawl into the warmth of my cozy bed. No more thinking . . .
WHEN WE GOT BACK TO the house Lucas tried talking me into sleeping in his bed, but that’s the last thing I can force myself to do right now. Then he tried to talk me into just a quickie, which I declined as well. Lucas just needs to sleep his stupidity off and get ready for his early morning flight.
The sounds of Alex in the pool cause me to pause in the kitchen and listen for a minute. It’s taking everything in me not to go into that room, knowing damn well that Alex is most likely swimming naked. I don’t know what it is with him and naked swimming, but it’s extremely hot. I hate that it’s such a temptation.
Wondering if he ate the dinner I left him, I open the microwave to see that the plate of Steak and fried potatoes are gone. I smile to myself, knowing that it’s one of Alex’s favorite meals and that he gets extremely happy every time that I make it for him. It gives me a sense of pride.
Making my way up the stairs, I strip down to a silky camisole and my panties, before crawling into the bed and turning off the bedside lamp.
I can’t help but to toss and turn, while listening for Alex to come up to his room. Just knowing that he’s close by will help me fall asleep. It always has.
Not even forty minutes later, once I’m close to finally drifting off to never-never land, I feel the bed beside me dip and the mouthwatering scent of Alex fills the air as he slips in next to me, then pulls me into his cold, slightly wet arms and holds me like he’s been doing since we were kids . . .
Except now . . . it feels so much different.
Seven years ago . . .
I SIT UP IN BED to the sound of someone slowly raising my bedroom window. My heart swells, knowing that it’s Alex sneaking in once again. I’m starting to look forward to this very sound and I’ve been finding myself watching and waiting for it more often these days.
My heart speeds up with anticipation as he climbs inside and shuts the window behind him, trying to be quiet enough so that he doesn’t wake Tara up.
“Alex . . .” It’s dark, so I can’t really make anything out except for the dark figure coming at me, dressed in a hoodie. The hood covers his face and his body appears to be shaking. He seems to be taking his time walking toward me, as if he doesn’t want me to see him. “What’s going on? Alex?” I start to panic as he gets closer and I can finally make out the sounds of his heavy breathing.
Placing a finger to his mouth, he shushes me and crawls into bed beside me, slipping under the blankets and getting comfortable. “Go back to sleep, Tripp. It’s late.”
“What time is it?” I ask while sitting up on my knees and reaching to pull his hood down. The sight of his bloodied, swollen face in the moonlight causes me to gasp and reach out to comfort him. My hands cup his face, being careful not to hurt him even more. His right eye is so fat that he can’t even open it. “Oh my God, Alex! Are you okay? Please tell me that you’re okay. Let me take care of you,” I cry out. I can’t help but to cry whenever I see him hurt like this. It kills me so damn much, knowing what his father puts him through, and what he does to him.
Alex is my best friend. He means everything to me. I feel his pain as if it were mine. “I hate him, Alex. I hate him so damn much. Why does he have to do this to you? Why? Please leave there and stay here. I can ask Tara . . .”
“I’m fine, Firecracker. I’m going to be fine.” He gently reaches for my hands and pulls them away from his face, placing a gentle kiss to each one. “This is becoming routine for me. It gives me a reason to sneak out and sleep in your bed. You’re my something for the pain,” he says with a painful laugh. “Now lay down so I can hold you and fall asleep. I’m tired as hell and you have to get up early, babe.”
Knowing that Alex will refuse to talk about his father and what happened tonight, I pry my eyes away from his achingly beautiful face and lay down beside him, shifting to my side. I scoot in as close to him as possible, and then squeeze his arms until my nails are digging into his skin through his hoodie. In this moment I just want to be as close to him as possible. I want him to know that someone does love him. His father may not give a shit anymore, but I sure as hell do.
I hate this so much. It’s becoming more and more frequent for his father to hurt him. I’m starting to worry that if no one stops him he may end up killing him, and there’s no way that I can live without Alex. He thinks that I keep the pain away, but he’s wrong . . . he’s always been my something for the pain, not the other way around.
I can hear him struggling to breathe as he rests his head above mine and pulls me in closer. It’s ripping me apart from the inside out. Every single part of me hurts for him, as well as the thought of ever losing him.
Please don’t take him from me . . .
HOLDING TRIPP AS TIGHTLY AS I can, I try to get comfortable without hurting myself too much. I hate letting Tripp see me hurting, but I can’t stop myself from coming here to be with her after every fight. Being with her just numbs the pain and makes me believe that things will get better.
With my mother close to dying and my brother always out on the streets fighting, Tripp is the closest comfort that I have. My father has become a crazed lunatic that I can’t even look in the face anymore. He’s dead to me now; a total piece of shit that isn’t strong enough to take care of his family. He’s not a real man. A real man fights to his death to keep his family together, but he’s doing everything he can to rip us apart. I’m only sticking around for my mother and Memphis. If it weren’t for them I’d be long gone by now. Well, maybe . . .
I look down at Tripp in my arms and then I realize that isn’t true. I’m stuck here. She will always keep me here. She’ll always be my reason to come back. She’s so fucking precious to me.
I close my eyes and sigh, before running my thumb under Tripp’s eye to wipe away the tears. She’s close to falling asleep now. I can tell by her breathing. I feel bad for waking her up in the first place, but I wasn’t strong enough to be alone tonight. She’s always my strength when I have none.
I’ll spend the next two hours holding her and pretending that life is okay, and then I’ll slip out of her window and sneak back into my bedroom, where everything is far from okay.
Until then . . .
“Love you, babe,” I whisper once I know that she’s asleep; when I know that she can’t hear me.
This may be the only time I say it. If it slips again, I’ll know for sure that she means more to me than just a friend, and everything will have to change.
I’m not sure I can handle that . . .
