Текст книги "Broken Skies"
Автор книги: Theresa Kay
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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 18 страниц)
Oh. I’m still clutching my improvised weapon. He’s the only help I have so I’m going to have to trust him. I lower my hand slowly. “How are we going to get Jace out?”
He doesn’t answer, merely shifts through the rubble until he finds a long metal rod and then slides it underneath the concrete. Pushing down on one end of the lever, his face reddens and there’s a small shift in the rock, enough that I’m able to slide Jace out from underneath.
After I pat his cheek a few times, Jace’s eyes flutter open and focus on my face. He struggles to stand, but his leg is twisted in a direction it’s not meant to go in and his face goes pale before he can reach his feet. Leaning down, I pull him up and throw his arm over my shoulder. I’m not strong enough to hold him up though, so Jastren steps up.
Jace furrows his brow and looks at me. “You sure seem adept at finding alien admirers. This one’s a little old though.”
I chuckle and Jastren tries to conceal a smile. “Yeah, say hi to Grandpa.”
THIRTY
I scavenge for a change of clothes and a pair of boots as we navigate our way out of the building. There is only so much blood covered fabric I can take and the gown keeps sticking to my side one moment and ripping away the next. Not the most comfortable feeling in the world, plus it keeps the wound from clotting. Thankfully, I’m able to scrounge up one of those snazzy gray uniforms that everyone seems to wear around here and a pair of boots somewhat close to my size.
There’s more to my change in wardrobe than temporary comfort, but not something that I’m willing to share with the guys yet. Jace will not approve and I’m not entirely sure what Jastren will say.
Once we stumble our way through a maze of back hallways and outside, I can see the edge of the forest from where I stand. So close. Everything in me just wants to jog into the trees, leave all this behind and go hide somewhere familiar and safe, but I can’t leave without Lir.
And that’s what is going to make for a very uncomfortable conversation with Jace right now.
“That outbuilding over there looks like it might be a good stopping place.” I point to a small shed right inside the shimmering barrier that surrounds the city.
“Stopping place?” Jace leans forward from beside Jastren. “Why would we be stopping?”
Deep breath. “I’m going back for him.”
“For…”
“For Lir.”
I expect Jace’s protest, but not Jastren’s. “Steliro Vestra is not to be trusted. I do not know what your experience has been with him, but he is Vitrad’s.”
“Yeah, Vitrad’s nephew. Why shouldn’t I trust him? I thought you said he was a target too.”
“He is, but should he have survived that bombing, I am positive Vitrad will find another use for him. He—”
“Wait a second here,” Jace breaks in. “This Lir guy is one of the Vestras and he’s related to the Vitrad guy? The one that started all this? The one that wants to kill us all? Hell no, Jax. You aren’t going anywhere. It’s bad enough you broke him out of lock up. You don’t owe that guy anything.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Damn right I don’t. We’re together. We’re alive and mostly whole. Why would you want to risk yourself on a rescue mission for some alien that probably doesn’t even need to be rescued?”
I stop walking and curl my fingers into my palms, digging in to prevent my temper from exploding. “You don’t even know him.”
“Yeah, but he does.” He jerks his thumb at Jastren. “And even he thinks it’s a bad idea.”
“And you trust him, just like that? What happened to your whole aliens are the devil spiel?”
They’ve pulled a few feet ahead of me and Jace finally stops to face me. “Verifying the family connection is pretty simple stuff. I checked him out as soon as he came over to help.”
Pretty simple stuff? Maybe for him. Is it worse that Jace kept things from me or that he’s so dismissive about my feelings and abilities? If he hadn’t kept me in the dark for so long, none of this would be necessary. I clench my teeth and try to rein in my growing irritation.
“Fine then. Go hang out with Gramps. I’ll be back.” I spin around and take off running. Jace calls out my name and the wound in my side screams, but I ignore both. I refuse to let them see me falter. Before I round the corner of the first building I call back over my shoulder, “Why don’t you get in touch with Flint while I’m gone, you know arrange a ride or something. Should be pretty simple stuff for you, right?”
I don’t wait for an answer.
* * * * * * *
The streets are deserted. Great news for me, but also a little disconcerting. Where is everyone? They’re under attack, or at least they’re supposed to think they are, so where are they?
My steps have slowed to a jog and each empty block I traverse just increases my desire to turn around. Each time my chest expands, my indecision increases. What am I thinking? I’m putting myself and my brother in more unnecessary danger for a guy I’m not entirely sure about. I’m basing everything on Rym’s assertion that Lir didn’t know, that Lir was a victim of Vitrad’s manipulations, but what if he was lying? And even if he told me the truth, what was Lir doing out in the clearing that day? Jastren, Jace and Vitrad planted the seeds of doubt and now the questions slink into my brain, taking root in my suspicion and confusion.
I round a corner and I’ve just made the decision to turn back when I nearly run into a blue-haired E’rikon standing at the edge of a large crowd that’s gathered in front of a smoking pile of rubble. Stopping just in time, I avoid a collision and back up until I’m huddled in a recessed doorway, hopefully far enough away that I won’t be seen. Not that anyone appears to be looking at anything other than the oversized hologram ahead showing the elevated platform that holds three bedraggled E’rikon, a perfectly poised Trel beside another gorgeous E’rikon teen, a coldly smiling Vitrad and an ash-covered Lir.
Lir’s face is carefully blank but even at this distance I can feel the sorrow rolling off of him. Shoulders pulled back and ramrod straight, only the tension in his jaw gives any hint of the anguish simmering under his features.
The platform is blocks away and a sea of bodies rest between me and it. Even if I made it up there, how would I get to Lir? This was a stupid idea. It’s not like Lir couldn’t find his own way out of the city and to me– if he wanted to– and I’m just asking to be caught by standing here. I risked everything to get Jace back and being here is just putting me in unnecessary danger. I’m turning to go when Vitrad’s voice booms out over the crowd, freezing me in place.
“We have lost too many today. This is all that remains of our great Council,” he gestures toward the three, “My dear daughter narrowly escaped with her life and that of her friend,” Lir moves jerkily to put one arm around the friend’s shoulders, pulling her closely against him, “My son is still unaccounted for, and my nephew has lost his parents, my sister, our steadfast leaders…” Vitrad bows his head and shakes it sadly for a moment before raising his eyes slowly and sending a glare directly at the crowd. His next words are edged with a fervor that could easily be mistaken for anger, but that I recognize as triumph. “This will not stand.”
“Now is the time to act,” he continues, “We cannot stand idly aside anymore and we must adapt to these new and tragic circumstances. Steliro has declined to step into his father’s place and has instead chosen to stand behind me as I unite our Council and our military into one unit for the betterment of our race…”
The rest of Vitrad’s words fade into the background and all I can do is stare at Lir’s face in horror. Standing behind him, supporting him, the man who locked me up, who locked him up, who… wants to kill us all? My hand flies up to cover my mouth and contain the wail that threatens to break free. The cold sense of betrayal seeps into my limbs, infiltrating my body until I almost shiver from it.
I take three slow robotic steps back, shaking my head and fighting against tears. This isn’t happening. This can’t be right. My denial rings false even to me. Jastren was right. Lir is Vitrad’s, his gofer, his follower, his lackey. And I am a fool.
I steel my nerves and feed the spark of anger brewing in my stomach until it’s a raging inferno pushing away any more denials and overshadowing the icy betrayal twisting through me. My narrowed eyes go back to the holo, focusing on his face, willing him to look at me, to face me. And he does.
A barely perceptible widening of the eyes, the clenching of his teeth and one hand curling into a white knuckled fist are the only outward signs of emotion from him. But it’s the other emotions, the ones he can’t– or won’t– show flowing through the link and nearly knocking me over. Anguish. Indecision. Regret. The eyes that meet mine are swirling green pain shot through with golden lightening. He opens his mouth, but quickly closes it again, pressing his lips together as if to hold the words inside. His eyes close and two words make their way into my head. I’m sorry.
It doesn’t hurt when the bond snaps, when Lir breaks it, but I feel it all the same. A loss, like something I didn’t even notice before is missing. Quick and painless, but it leaves me reeling backwards with my arms wrapped tightly around my stomach to anchor me, to hold myself together in the face of this new fracture in my already broken world.
“Jax, it’s not—” A hand lands on my back and sits for only a second before I whip away and whirl around to find Rym behind me. “Look—”
He has nothing that I want to hear. A mixture of loss and rage, that molten lava kind that’s been simmering since they tortured me, bubbles up and…out. It overflows and heads straight at the golden haired alien in front of me in a concentrated stream, smashing into him and bringing him to his knees with his hands pressed to his head and a silent scream on his face. There’s no wound, not a single mark on him but it’s no less a weapon than a knife and infinitely worse. A cold, cruel part of me smiles at his pain, but then a single thought pulls me back and sends me sprinting away as Rym crumples to the ground unconscious with green blood leaking from his nose.
Is that what I looked like when they put the kiun on me?
My heart pounds along with my feet, each step taking me farther and farther away from the crowd, the holo, Lir, and Rym’s very still body laying on asphalt. Tears drip down my cheeks and put a hazy film over the world in front of me. I don’t even bother to wipe them away, just let them drip off my chin and hit the ground beneath me.
I keep expecting to hear the sound of boots behind me, chasing me, just itching to drag me back into that underground facility and run more experiments. I’m sure my newfound skill would be of interest to Vitrad. Is it something they all can do, the focused mental gutting? No, it can’t be. If it were, they would have used it on me.
Now that I’ve used it, my anger feels like a living thing rattling at the cage of my body and anxious to get out. Its cry is convincing. Let me out. You will find peace with me. Just like before. It would be so easy to go back and just lay waste to their entire population and some enraged, primal part of me practically salivates at the thought. The E’rikon have no clue that they created a monster, one that hates the darkness but also craves the serenity that would come with its embrace.
No! I refuse to be a weapon of destruction. I already know what it feels like to kill and I will not give in to it. I will find another way.
I stop, close my eyes and just breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Each breath brings in a cooling calm that spreads through my body until I’m left sweaty and depleted standing in the middle of the street. But at least I feel like myself again.
In my frantic dash, I’ve managed to stay mostly on track. After a short backtrack and a series of turns, I’m back to the research facility. Not much further and I can spend the rest of my life just being thankful that I managed to get my brother back. He’s really all I need anyway. Just a little further.
I’ve slowed to a walk and the wound in my side is back to making its presence known with every step. My legs wobble and spots form in my vision. Is my nose bleeding? A quick swipe below my left nostril confirms that is the case. What?
Then a solid rock of exhaustion slams into me. The world shifts around me and I crash to my knees on the asphalt, dizzy and shaken. My new weapon has a price that is just now catching up with me. Something titters in the back of my mind…If you’d just given in, it wouldn’t be like this.
Blackness presses in around the edges of my vision, but I push it away and reach for my brother, finding the thread of our connection easily.
Jace? I think I’m going to need some help.
What’s going on? Where are you? Are you okay? The frantic pulse of his words hammers against the pain in my head.
Not far. The research facility. Did you reach Flint?
Yeah, I’m sitting in the back of his truck right now.
And Jastren?
Up front. Says he’s coming with us.
Send someone for me?
Are you okay? What’s going on? Jax?
I release the connection and settle back onto the ground. They’ll figure it out. I’m certainly not walking out of here.
Watching for animals in the clouds, I let my mind drift. There’s so much that needs to be done. Exploring my abilities. Returning to Bridgelake to keep my promise to Emily. Preparing for a war I want no part of in which there’s a piece of me on either side and against people that shouldn’t be my enemy. So very much to do.
My head lolls from side to side and I find myself tracking the flight of a large bird. I whistle, a simple call my father taught me, and reach my hand up. Surprisingly, the bird changes its course to head toward me, flying lower and lower…until a face blocks my view.
For a moment, with the sun behind him, his hair looks golden with bits of green and my traitor heart tries to leap, but my eyes adjust and show me blond hair instead, with bits of leaves scattered through it. Blue eyes, like the sky without clouds peer down at me.
“You’re in deep trouble, aren’t you? Me too actually.” I pat his cheek and giggle. “Did Jace give you the ‘I can’t believe you didn’t listen to me’ glare? Don’t worry I’m sure you boys will kiss and make up.” I laugh, a ragged sound that evolves into a sob and then I’m crying again while Flint gathers me into his arms and picks me up off the ground.
He doesn’t say anything, just plods along the street carrying me with my head resting on his shoulder. Not an unpleasant way to travel, certainly better than walking.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He pauses and tilts his head to the side so he can see my face. “For what? You didn’t do anything wrong Jax.”
“I’ve done a lot of wrong…” My voice trails off and I shake my head softly, tallying up my wrongs. Jace’s pain when I turned away from him. The blood leaking from Rym’s nose. The thunk of a knife into Zach’s neck. Me, battered, bruised and bloody, knife in hand and two slit throats before me. “A lot.”
His steps start up again, steady and even. “Nonsense. Anything you think you’ve done wrong can’t possibly overshadow what you’ve done for Jace today.”
I don’t respond and we walk in silence. When the barrier is in view, I feel a tug at my mind. Not Jace, someone else, tugging gently on a broken green string.
No words come through and even the emotions are faint, but it’s just enough that I know Lir is trying to get my attention. I squeeze my eyes shut, close the connection and bury my face in Flint’s chest. “Walk faster,” I say.
Once we cross the barrier, I don’t have to try so hard to shut out the intruder.
Flint places me in the back of the truck and I scoot up until I’m beside the cab. My brother looks at me with a combination of relief and exasperation and pulls me into a hug then lays down with his head in my lap. I absently stroke his hair and stare into the distance, letting the warmth of our connection blot out everything else…for now.
The rumble of the truck starting jostles me. I watch the receding city until it’s out of sight, the entire time Lir flutters around in my head, his attempts at contact getting weaker and weaker until they cease completely. Something squeezes my hand and I look down to find Jace’s eyes studying me.
“It’s going to be okay,” he says.
But I know it’s not. I don’t know if anything is ever going to be okay again.
EPILOGUE
One Week Later…
“Try again,” says Jastren.
Closing my eyes with a huff, I try to focus on linking with him. Still no luck. Though my connection with Jace is as strong as ever, no matter what I do I can’t connect with Jastren. Or anyone else for that matter. I’ve even attempted to follow Jace’s connection to Flint with no success.
“Concentrate on hearing my broadcast and—”
“Visualize the words and follow them through the link.” I grit my teeth. “I know how to do it. I just can’t. Repeating yourself isn’t helping, Gramps.” In fact, I wish he’d just shut up about the whole thing, but apparently he’s not going to give it a rest.
“Jasmine…”
I roll my eyes. “It’s Jax. Just because there’s some alien tradition about names, doesn’t mean I’m changing mine.” I shoot up and head toward the door. “This is a waste of time. I’m going to get some air.”
Jace’s voice calls out from one of the back bedrooms. “Why don’t you split some more wood while you’re out there? It’s getting chilly in here.”
“You’re not helpless. Hobble on over and do it yourself,” I yell back.
There’s a thump and I hear the sound of Jace’s crutches carrying him across the floor until he pokes his head out of the doorway. “Ha ha, Sis. You want me to break the other leg?”
“It would save me the trouble of breaking it for you,” says Flint from the living room. “You don’t make for a very agreeable patient…”
“Aw come on, you’re supposed to be on my side.” Jace makes his way across the room and plops down on the couch beside Flint. Leaning backward over Flint’s lap with his face up, he bats his eyelashes and sticks his lower lip out. “You know you love me.”
Flint stares into his eyes for a moment with a soft smile. “I guess so,” he says with an exaggerated sigh.
Jace grins and winks. “I knew it.” He leans up and presses a kiss to Flint’s cheek.
Flint blushes and rolls his eyes. “But if you ever do something so stupid as to get yourself abducted by aliens again, I’m gonna have to rethink that.”
“You could always just send my sister in after me again.” Jace straightens and sits back into the couch.
And here it comes… They’ve been needling at each other since we got here.
“What did you expect me to do? Sit there? Do nothing?” Flint tosses his hands in the air. “It’s not like I forced her to go. I tried to stop her. She would have gone anyway. Isn’t that right, Jax?”
I put my hands up and take a step back. “I’m not in this guys. This is between you two.”
Jace narrows his eyes and jerks his thumb at Flint. “He was supposed to protect you. Not let you wander off with some damn erk,” a glance at Jastren, “sorry Grandfather.”
“Well how was I to know who he was? It’s not like I had any long conversations with the…guy.” Flint turns until he’s facing my brother. “You shouldn’t have—”
“Just stop it!” My yell brings both of their faces to me. “You’re both safe. You’re together. Why can’t you just be grateful for that? I’m just so sick…Why don’t you… Ugh!” I throw my hands up and stomp out of the cabin. The crisp air clears my head and I head over to the woodpile. Splitting firewood actually sounds like a good way to blow off some steam.
Being back at Peter’s cabin is hard. Being back here with the two bickering lovebirds and my disappointed in me grandfather is torture. Of all the people here, Peter’s the only one who doesn’t want anything from me. He doesn’t ask me a bunch of questions. He isn’t worried about the link. And he doesn’t push me when I just want to be left alone. Peter’s more than happy to chatter away at me and doesn’t care much whether I respond or not and I’ve found that I actually enjoy his company, more than anyone else here. Even still, I’ve never felt more alone.
I’m happy for my brother, I really am. And Flint too. Jastren…I guess he’s family and he’s been kind of helpful, at least for Jace who can actually link with him. I just wish…
I squeeze my eyes shut to block out the thought and the burn of tears. Nothing. I wish for nothing.
So far we’ve learned from Jastren that some of our abilities are normal for the E’rikon– the telepathy, the emotional connection; some are very rare– the sharing of energy; and there is one that is solely our own– the manipulation of other’s emotions. While the dhama will allow E’rikon to feel others’ emotions, they can’t ‘push’ emotions at each other like Jace and, apparently, I can.
Good news, that means Lir never manipulated my emotions…Bad news, I almost wish he had. I may have picked up on his emotions and they may have had some sort of calming effect on me, especially once the bond was formed, but he couldn’t have made me fall in love with him, couldn’t have forced the bond to use it against me. So, he didn’t lie about that…just nearly everything else according to Jastren. The thought that I managed to fall for Lir on my own eats at me. I never should have trusted him. How could I have been so blind?
It doesn’t matter. He means nothing to me now.
No one knows about what I did to Rym, well, except Rym that is. If he survived. I don’t know that it’s the weapon Vitrad had in mind or if there’s some other horrifying ability even farther down in the blackness from which I’ve now drawn twice. Either way, Jace and Jastren seem a little too excited to find a way to weaponize us and I’m not entirely sure that’s a good idea.
I came back from the blackness the first time with the help of my brother. Empathy brought me back the second time– just barely. What’s left that could bring me back a third time? For that matter, what’s to stop my brother from falling into that dark hatred himself if he were to unlock the ability?
I will never tell them.
Now that I know about the emotional control Jace has over me, I’m able to block it out. He wasn’t too thrilled about that, but I told him I had to learn to control my own emotions. I can’t afford to be dependent on someone else for my own sanity. Besides, I’ve had a little practice now and each day it gets a little easier.
It’s been a slow process though. When we first got back to Peter’s cabin, Daniel was still here. He stepped a bit too close to me and I attacked. I nearly killed him before Flint managed to pull me off of him. Daniel and the other two soldiers left soon after that, heading to Bridgelake to report in to Dane. I suppose we’ll eventually make it back there too, but with Jace’s leg broken and winter approaching, we probably won’t be able to leave until spring.
Or until Vitrad wises up and starts looking for us.
After I’ve got a nice stack of firewood split, I drop the maul and sit on the ground with my back against the woodshed. It’s early for it, but in the past couple days, the temperature has dropped rapidly and with the sky as white as it is, I wouldn’t be surprised if it snowed soon, just what I need. It’d be another excuse for Jastren to keep me cooped up in the cabin trying to get the link to work.
I run a hand over my face and sigh. Might as well get a long walk in while I still can. As I reach the edge of the woods, Peter pokes his head out the front door.
“Just the person I was looking for. I see you’re headed off on a walk. Would you mind horribly if I came along with you? I’ve just been in the house much too long and some air would be good for this old man. I’d invite the others, but I can’t imagine Jace could get around on those crutches out here very well. And young Flint just won’t leave his side. Reminds me a bit of your young man—” Peter actually manages to stop one of his own rambles. He swallows and gives me a weak smile. “So, do you mind some company?”
“It’s fine,” I say.
Leaves crunch under our feet as we make our way through the trees. Peter’s quiet, whether it’s because he feels guilty for slipping up earlier or he has picked up on the fact that I need the silence of the forest right now, I don’t know. Either way, I’m thankful for it.
Twenty minutes later we reach a small clearing and stop to rest against a tree. The pause gives him an opening to start speaking.
“I think it is time we talked, my dear. I may not have had a congregation in a very long time, but I still know the look of someone who has lost their way and perhaps could use an ear to listen.” He pauses and takes a deep breath in through his nose. “There is nothing you can say that will make me think any less of you. I am not here to judge you.”
Jastren just wants my link to work. Jace is only worried about saying ‘I told you so.’ Flint is too wrapped up in my brother to really care one way or the other. Not one of them has even bothered to ask me how I’m feeling, how I’m handling everything and, even though I don’t really want to talk about it, not a single one of them has asked about Lir. But wanting to and needing to are very different things. I’ve kept it all locked carefully inside, a concrete rock holding back my pain, my guilt and my loss. The simple splash of kindness and concern in Peter’s eyes smashes that rock.
My eyes burn and a tear makes its way down my cheek. A sob catches in my throat, almost choking me, before escaping from my mouth in a low wail.
Peter’s shoulder is a soggy mess and my eyes are red and puffy before I finally get done telling him everything. And I mean everything, even what I did to Rym. When I finally pull back and wipe my eyes with the edge of my shirt, he smiles softy and places his hands on my shoulders.
“You don’t need to feel guilty for mourning your loss. Even though you believe Lir betrayed you, that does not negate your own feelings for him. Don’t think that having those feelings makes you any less.” He gives my shoulders a light squeeze. “And as for what happened to the other young man, do not hold onto guilt for that either. From the way you’ve described it, you may have given into the darkness at first, but you pushed it away. The first step to making peace with it is forgiving yourself.” He clears his throat and lowers his voice. “And what happened to you before, with the men at your cabin. That was not your fault. Do not let it break you.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Peter pulls me into a tight hug. I don’t flinch. I don’t count my breaths. And my pulse stays steady. It wasn’t just Lir’s influence then. I really am learning to overcome my fear on my own.
After a quick goodbye, I stay by the tree while Peter disappears back toward the cabin.
Eyes to the sky, I rub my mother’s pendant between my fingers and watch the storm clouds roll in. A low screech to my right pulls my attention to the underbrush. It’s a Harris hawk and one of his feet is tangled in the vines. By the whitish streaking on his chest and on the underside of his wings, I can tell he’s a young one, likely less than a year old.
Drawing closer, I whisper to him. “Hey pretty bird. Let me help you.”
He does that jerky, rotating head tilt characteristic of birds and studies me as I approach. Surprisingly he doesn’t react when I reach my hand out toward his foot and slowly disentangle him. I lean back until I’m squatting almost right next to him. He still doesn’t move.
“Well, go on then. You’re free.”
He just stands there, moving his head from side to side, never taking his deep brown eyes from my face. He hops forward and angles his wings out a bit, enough for me to see that one of them is damaged. Poor thing probably banged it against the ground or something trying to get free of the vines.
I eye the clouds above. I can’t just leave him here. If he can’t fly, he won’t be able to seek shelter from the storm. Removing my jacket, I wrap it around my arm and hold it out to him. I let out a shrill two beat whistle and he hops onto my extended arm. It’s strange that he’d take to me so easily, but maybe he belongs to someone and he’s just lost. He’s had to have had training of some sort.
I rise carefully until I’m standing with my arm bent out in front of me. The hawk shifts from foot to foot, but continues to stare at me. I reach out with my other hand and stroke the top of his head with one finger. He doesn’t pull away.
I smile and run my finger over his feathers again. Looks like I’ve made a new friend.
And with what’s coming, the interspecies war that’s brewing, the promises I have to keep, the secrets that I have to hide…and a fractured heart that has to mend… I’ll need all the friends I can get.
