Текст книги "Finding Master Right"

Автор книги: Sparrow Beckett

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

His smile faded. “You think this is just a job to me? I can’t possibly see how, considering you’re not paying me.”

“It’s a job. The currency is just . . . different.”

“I’m not doing this for sex.” He leaned back, frowning. “You make me sound like an asshole.”

“Sorry.” She dropped her head. “I guess I just don’t understand why you’re doing it.”

“It started off because I was bored, and maybe lonely. But now I care about you, Kate.” He stared at her earnestly, as though he was hoping for a response.

Her cheeks flushed. He cared about her? Why did that make butterflies take off in her belly?

“I want to make sure you find someone safe to go to from here.” He shrugged and cracked a pained smile. “It’s the protective Dom thing. Even if you’re not mine, you’re still vulnerable. Too many submissives get hurt looking for a Dom. I don’t want that to be you.”

A smile touched her lips. “Thank you.” His sentiment was sweet. She almost didn’t want to go on with her plan. Having someone care about her so much that they would protect her even when they weren’t together was novel. But there was more than that for her. A real regret was growing, but making this work was a pipe dream. He deserved better—someone who could meet his needs and not have to fake it. Someone who wouldn’t resent his kink, but would enjoy it.

“So you’ll meet some of my friends? You’ll try your best to be a good girl?” he asked. “Remember, you’ll never win a Dom over with behavior like you had with my last introduction.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’ll be good. I told you I learned a lot.”

“Excellent. I’ll make some calls and see if I can set something up for this weekend.”

She nodded, then bit her lip. The truth of what she’d just agreed to came crashing down. “Banner . . .”

“Yes?”

“This is just to . . . meet them, right? Nothing crazy?”

He leaned forward. “That’s entirely up to you.”

Then it was a big fat no.

“But if we put on a . . . display, it’ll show them what kind of sub you are and whether your kinks line up.”

She gulped. “A display?”

“Just to show you off. It doesn’t have to be much. I’ll show them some of the things you’ve learned. Protocol, how to kneel, that sort of thing.”

She felt her eyes go wide. “Like I’m in a dog show?”

His beautiful lips curved. “Like you’re a prize to be won.”

A treasure . . . a prize . . . Always with the flattery. Okay, so maybe they’d make a match faster if his friends could see what kinds of things she was into. Maybe she wouldn’t have to kiss as many frogs. Still, the idea of being shown off like an animal made her feel kind of weird. But she trusted Banner. He hadn’t objectified her yet, so maybe he had a way of getting through this without it coming to that.

“Think about it,” he said. “It’s your call what we do and how far we go. I’m just trying to make it the most worthwhile for you.”

She nodded numbly. She had time to decide. Maybe she’d talk it over with Janine. It’d been her idea for the Halloween matchmaking party and that had been where she’d found Banner. She might get that kind of luck again, only with someone who didn’t want a robot for a partner.

“Come a little early, and we’ll discuss it,” he told her. “I’ll make sure you’re comfortable with whatever we do.”

She did believe that. “Okay.” With a small smile, she rose from the table. “I have to go let Pixie out. She’s probably crossing her legs by now.”

Banner stood up. “I’ll let you know the possible dates for the party. Will I see you before then?”

“Uhh.” Good question. Probably best to keep her distance before his panty-melting suits tempted her again. “I have a busy week. I’ll text you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Sure you will.”

Frowning, she peeked up at him. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not what you want, but I’m trying my best to keep us both happy. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know.” He took a big step so they were toe to toe, with him staring down at her. His eyes softened as he searched hers for a moment.

When he towered over her like that, she felt so small and vulnerable. Even now, she wished he’d wrap his arms around her. She gave her head a shake.

Down, girl.

Banner caught her attention with his finger under her chin. “You need to worry about you now. I’ll be fine.”

A smile played at her lips. “Hey, Doms have feelings too.”

His answering grin looked fake, which worried her. He’d never seemed sad before, but now it looked as though he was hiding pain. “Some Doms are able to shut theirs off.”

Compartmentalize. Her exes had been able to do that. She used to say, “Men are like waffles; women are like spaghetti.” Men tended to keep each problem in its own neat square, whereas women’s would get all tangled up together.

Banner was wealthy, successful, had friends and family—what kind of problems haunted him? That was exactly how he looked right now. Haunted.

She opened her mouth to ask him, but he cut her off.

“Go,” he said and turned her around with his hands on her shoulders. “Your dog is waiting.” He gave her a small push toward the door.

So, he was putting up walls? If she was in a different position, she’d dig deeper and try to uncover the truth there. But he’d made it clear that he wasn’t her responsibility. They’d stay friends while some other girl figured him out.

As she left the coffee shop, she pictured him with another girl. She gritted her teeth. Then her imagination had them at the same party and acting like Janine and Chris. Something twisted in her stomach.

In too deep.

The need to get him out of her system clinched her decision for the Dom Fest. She’d let Banner show her off and pass her over to one of his friends. Then she’d really, truly be done with him.

Chapter 10

“Seriously, Banner. I think you should go home for the day.” Belle held a file out to him, but he couldn’t remember how long she’d been standing there.

“I think I can manage to sign a few documents,” he grumbled. When he opened the folder, he stared at the papers it contained, but they all seemed to be written in gibberish.

“What’s this?”

Belle pulled the file away from him. “This is the business proposal from Arthur Blackwell, remember? You probably shouldn’t be signing anything like this right now.” She laid it aside. “It can wait until Monday.”

Banner grunted and checked his phone messages. Nothing. Well, there were some messages from guys interested in meeting Kate, but nothing from her. What had he expected?

“Checking your phone won’t make her text you.” Belle smiled sympathetically.

“I know.”

She settled in the chair across from him. “Do you think maybe you’re feeling this way because she’s the first woman in a long time that hasn’t fallen all over herself trying to get your attention?”

With a laugh, he sat back. “You don’t do that.”

“You wouldn’t wear a collar for me any more than I’d wear one for you. It would get ugly fast.” Belle laughed quietly. “That’s one of the reasons why you hired me, remember? No temptations at work.”

“I hired you because you’re smart and efficient, and you’re good with people.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“And because I knew our business relationship would never become complicated by a personal relationship.”

“Our friendship might complicate things though. Like the fact that I have no qualms about telling you that you’ve been wandering around here for weeks acting like a starving dog waiting to be fed.” She arched a brow at him, and it wasn’t hard to imagine her making the same face at her sub. Domme faces didn’t work on him, though. He was immune.

“Things are almost sorted out with her, then everything will go back to normal.” He looked at his guest list again: six men, one of whom already had a sub and was looking for another woman to add to their relationship.

Hell, he’d never even asked Kate if that would appeal to her. The thick line he’d drawn through Ambrose’s name bothered him. It was too late to cancel the party now, but with Ambrose leaving on urgent business, his best hope for Kate was gone.

“I’ll believe that when I see it. I’m going to get lunch. I’m bringing some back for you. I will force-feed you if necessary.” She shook her head. “And people say that men aren’t emotional. You just wear it differently.” Belle frowned at him, then walked out of his office.

Emotional? He considered Kate, visualized her in his head, and let go of the business end of planning a party at his house.

Okay. Then he pictured being at a party and watching her submit to someone else. His stomach soured. Pushing the thought aside, he stood and started tidying the piles of paper on his desk, not sure if he was screwing up the order he’d purposely left them in. Not caring. He had to do something. Maybe Belle was right and he needed to go home.

As he walked past the admin’s desk, he asked Tanja to hold down the fort. She’d been with them long enough to manage fifteen minutes on her own. Maybe they’d actually keep this one. In the elevator he texted Belle.

Don’t bother getting lunch for me. I’m going home.

Her response came back right away. Eat food. Don’t turn into crazy stalker guy.

Yes, Ma’am.

Although he’d meant to go home, his car ended up at his mother’s house instead. With Ambrose and Konstantin both out of town, and Kate avoiding him, he felt as if he were adrift with nothing to anchor him to sanity. Expecting Rook to entertain him for a few hours, he was stunned when Meadow told him he’d gone to hang out with Dylan. His mom was asleep, and Meadow was busy organizing the storage room and didn’t want his help.

He toyed with the idea of going back to work, but he’d just distract people who were being productive.

For a while he drove, then wandered around a park on the outskirts of town, trying not to think of anything but the way the tree line met the sky, the quiet elegance of leaves, the cacophony of the city poking up in the distance.

At home, he went to his loft and laid aside the canvas he’d been working on. He pulled out a fresh one. Too many ugly feelings needed to get out, and he didn’t know what to do with them all. He meant to paint his loneliness and rejection, the feeling that no one would ever want to know him as he knew himself.

Stroke by stroke, he painted her face instead. Lovely, even though he knew she didn’t want him. Her eyes stared, as deep and luminous as they were when she was his.

***

“Remember to keep your eyes down unless someone asks you to look at them.”

“Yes, Sir.” All in white. The sacrificial lamb. The dress he’d chosen for her was slightly shorter than he’d anticipated. It definitely drew the eye to her sinful legs, which tore him up inside, but it would have to do. He wasn’t supposed to be keeping her covered up for himself. How many times did he have to keep telling himself that? No bra, no underwear, minimal makeup. He wanted them to know what they were getting with her. His hands were clumsy as he slipped the white leather collar around her neck, fumbling as he buckled it.

Mine, at least for tonight.

“I wish you’d let me wear shoes. I feel weird like this when everyone else will be fully dressed.”

“Sir,” he grumbled.

She looked at him in confusion.

“You have to call me Sir while people are here. It’ll add to your appeal if you remember to use some protocol.” He fussed with her hair for a minute, and she rolled her eyes impatiently.

“Well, we’re not out there yet. Even though you’re a Master, I don’t have to call you Master in public, do I?”

The word. She was hell bent on killing him with her pretty mouth.

“No.” It had come out rougher than he’d meant it to, but he couldn’t have her calling him that. Kicking all of the other Doms out of the house almost as soon as they sat down would be rude.

He uncoiled the chain on the side table and clipped the leash onto her collar. Behind her, the bed mocked him. Bringing her into the dungeon to get ready had probably been a horrible plan, but he’d thought it would get her into the right headspace. Instead, it had gotten him into the wrong one.

Showing her off. Giving her away. That was the point of the evening, not using her and reminding her who she belonged to, because that would be immoral, and he was trying to be an honorable man. Even so, once the leash was on she stayed far too close, too intimately near, for someone who supposedly had no attraction to him. If she wanted to put some space between them, there was plenty of slack in the leash.

She watched his face, her eyes attentive and soft, ready for Banner to lead her anywhere. The leash handle was wrapped around his hand, but which one of them was truly the captive?

“Everyone is here but Ambrose and Konstantin, but we knew they couldn’t make it,” he said, trying to build a wall with his words. “I wish Ambrose was here. He was my first choice for you.” If it couldn’t be me.

Kate stepped closer, the tips of her breasts brushing his ribs. “We’ll see. Maybe you could introduce me to him if none of these guys are right.” She blinked up at him, trusting.

Why couldn’t it be him instead of someone else?

She didn’t want him, that’s why. The intensity he needed in a D/s relationship didn’t appeal to her when she was calm and rational. Changing her mind in subspace didn’t count. But if she didn’t want him, why was she looking at him as though she wanted him to kiss her?

It was her instinctual reaction to him. Even if her hormones approved of him, her logic was telling her to steer clear.

With regret, he backed up a step and turned away. “We should get up there. They’re waiting for you.”

“Wait!”

He turned back, and she threw her arms around his neck, then dragged his mouth down to hers. Her kiss was long and sweet, and although he meant to be nonresponsive, he couldn’t help but kiss her back. His chest ached when he gently pushed her away.

“I–I just wanted to say good-bye, and thanks for everything.”

There was nothing left to say. He turned and walked from her, only remembering they were attached when the handle of the leash tugged his hand.

He led her down the hall into a roomful of men in suits. They’d been standing around, talking and sipping at drinks, but they fell silent when Banner and Kate entered the room. The air seemed to buzz with their keen interest, and for a moment Banner struggled with the urge to drag her back to the dungeon.

Why do this to himself? Why not just leave her to her own devices to look for a Dom?

He cared too much who she ended up with. If the guy didn’t deserve her, it would make him crazy. He needed more control over her than that, even if it was all he was going to get.

Banner made introductions. Will, Everard, Josh, Nick, and Jakob all looked her over with interest. Matt and Oksana had bowed out at the last minute, but Kate hadn’t been sure about exploring relationships with other women anyway. Maybe that had been curiosity on his part.

He signaled for Kate to kneel on the coffee table, which was the twin to the one in his dungeon. She did, looking as though she’d rather run away again. The men all sat on the couches around her, and she stared fixedly at his pant leg.

He could have used a beer. And Ambrose around to make fun of him.

“So, gentlemen, as I said earlier, Kate here is interested in finding the right Dom for her. She had a bad experience with a friend trying to set her up last time, so I thought I should introduce her to some men that were worth her time.”

Something touched his leg. Kate had slid her hand sideways across the coffee table and her fingers had sought him out. For support? He touched the top of her head, and she leaned into him.

“I e-mailed all of you a list of what I think she needs and what she’s into.” He stroked her hair and drew a steadying breath.

“The two of you seem pretty connected,” Everard said. “Are you sure you’re ready to give her away?”

It was like a punch in the gut, but he had to do this now before he lost his nerve.

“Our relationship is just a training one. She wanted to learn more about submission, so I taught her what I could. She’s not bonded to me or anything. She’s just nervous right now.” He patted her head and deliberately moved his hand away from her.

“Kate, what are you looking for in a Dom?” Will smiled pleasantly at her, but she remembered not to look up.

“You can look at me,” he added when she opened her mouth to answer to the coffee table.

“Someone kind, who I’m compatible with. In my daily life I’m not a submissive woman, so being twenty-four-seven isn’t going to work.” Why did she suddenly sound so sad? “I like it in the bedroom, but not as a constant way of life.”

Nick smiled. “I’m sure if you were twenty-four-seven material, Banner wouldn’t have invited us over.”

“How does she respond to pain and discipline?” Josh’s gaze was too intense for Banner’s comfort. He wasn’t known for being rough with his subs, but Banner didn’t like him for her now.

“Kate responds well to small amounts.” He’d have to be careful here. Some Doms hated dealing with challenging subs. “She’s a very good girl if given the right incentive, but she can get a little bratty. It’s part of her personality, though, so I don’t think that should be crushed. However, that would be between her and her Dom.”

They were all nodding, but the gleam in Josh’s eye worried him. Kate didn’t need a hard-core sadist Dom. That wouldn’t be a good match, unless she was more into pain than he thought.

A discussion about discipline ensued, and he felt the tension gradually ease out of Kate’s body.

Later, the caterer signaled that dinner was ready, then left the premises. When they arrived in the dining room, Banner put a cushion beside each chair.

“While we eat, Kate will take turns kneeling next to each of you so that you can get to know her better. You can choose to have her sit on your lap, but while she wears my collar, I know you’ll respect my wishes that she not be touched in a sexual manner.”

They served themselves, and Banner unclipped the leash and sent Kate to visit Nick, who sat directly to his right.

Jakob, on Banner’s left, passed him the steak. “She’s beautiful. Did she have any kink experience before you?”

“No, she was vanilla before me. She wasn’t sure she’d be interested in submission, but it runs deep. I think with time and trust she’ll be less cautious about handing over control.”

Jakob turned his attention to eating and watching Kate. At first, seeing her talk to Nick bothered Banner, until he realized that although they were being polite, there didn’t seem to be a spark there for either of them.

When she returned to Banner, he directed her to kneel at his side. He cut some meat and fed her by hand while she looked up at him. She slipped farther into subspace and with the third bite of food, instead of taking the morsel impersonally, she sucked the juice from his thumb. His cock jerked, hating to be left out.

He leaned down and put his mouth to her ear. “Bad girl. You do that again, and I’ll punish you when our guests leave.”

“Yes, Sir. Sorry.”

Like hell she was.

Her eyes narrowed with interest, and he wondered if spanking her now, in front of all of them, would freak her out too much.

“Go to Will, then to Everard, Josh, and Jakob, in the order of the table. Come back to me to eat your dinner in between.”

She nodded and rose. The grace and sway of Kate’s hips while she walked to Will kept Banner’s gaze glued to her ass. His mouth watered, and it had nothing to do with the steak. The two talked for a while, but there didn’t seem to be much of a connection there either.

Kate returned to him, looking slightly bored. He fed her a few cubed potatoes, and with the second bite she brazenly swirled her tongue around his index finger, with none of the others the wiser.

With a low growl, he gave her the Dom eye. Kate smirked, even knowing he’d threatened her earlier.

When Kate got to Everard, he pushed his chair back and settled Kate on his knee. She watched the man shyly through lowered lashes but laughed at his jokes and was gradually drawn into conversation.

Jealousy ate at Banner, and he wished he’d never thought of inviting the man. The two glanced down the table at Banner at one point, and he wished he could hear what they were whispering about.

She returned, but refused food. “Sir, I need to . . . use . . . to go to . . .

Banner got to his feet and clipped the leash onto her collar. They left the room together and went upstairs to the private section of the house.

“I don’t need help in the bathroom.” Kate smothered a laugh, sounding intoxicated even though she hadn’t drank.

“No?” He pulled her to face him.

“No, Sir.” She blinked up at him, waiting.

“How are you feeling?”

She shrugged and bit her lip. “I’m not sure. I can see how a couple of them might be interesting, but one creeps me out.”

“Okay. We’ll discuss it later. Go use the bathroom, and I’ll wait here.” He unclipped her leash, and she stared at him before walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind her.

So she liked a couple of them. That should make him happy, right?

She was back again before he had time to process his feelings. Again, she was standing too close.

“Did you touch yourself while you were in there, bad girl?” He smiled to let her know he was joking.

“No, that I might have asked for help with.” A wink accompanied that statement, and she tried to walk past him.

Banner grabbed her arm and pushed her back against the wall, pinning her there with a forearm across her chest. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” He clipped the leash back on and her eyelids drooped. “Someone likes the leash.”

She stood there meekly, not trying to get away, not looking impatient to get back to the party, studying his face through gentle eyes, breathing through parted lips.

God, she made him a lot crazy. A little crazy didn’t cover it.

“I should lift that pretty dress of yours and see how wet you are. Is getting handed around a room full of big, suit-wearing men turning you on, my dirty little slut?”

Her eyes widened. “I–I . . .”

“Maybe I should bring you back down there naked and let them all play with you.”

She whimpered and turned her head aside, presenting her throat.

Pressing against her, he parted her legs with his thigh and lifted it until her pussy was crushed against him. Her heat leached through his pants.

“Would you like that?”

She shook her head but pressed against his thigh. “No, please, Banner. Don’t.”

“What did you just call me?”

Kate arched up until their lips were almost touching. Her quiet whine filled the silence.

“What did you call me?” He growled, and she shuddered.

“Master, please don’t strip me and hand me around to—”

He cut off her plea with his mouth, kissing her the way he’d been aching to all evening. She kissed him back, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, then sliding her hands along the bareness of his chest.

Would it be so wrong to have her right there, when there was a roomful of men vying for her attention downstairs? Probably. Did he care?

He slid his hand up her skirt. She was wet and so ready for him. His cock strained against his zipper. There was no objection when he pressed a finger up inside of her hot pussy and circled his thumb around her clit. She moaned desperately into his mouth.

He finger fucked her a few times then withdrew. When she started to complain, he pushed his damp finger into her mouth.

“Suck.”

She made a sound of protest, but like a good girl, she did it anyway.

“That was your punishment for distracting me while we have guests.”

Kate used her mouth on his finger as though she were giving it a blow job, but stopped when he glared.

“Be careful, Kate. You’re under my roof. Do you remember what I told you?” He regretfully pulled his finger from between her lips, then brushed her dress down and checked her hair.

“That if I set foot in your house, I’m agreeing to let you do whatever you like to me?” Her slow smile was a blatant invitation.

“You’re making it very hard for me to stop touching you.”

“You’re making it very hard for me not to want you to.”

“Stop sucking my fingers when I feed you, or I’ll bend you over the dining room table and fuck you in front of everyone.”

“Mmmm . . . Yes, Sir.”

Yes what, exactly? Was she agreeing to behave or agreeing to being fucked in front of everyone?

“And don’t call me Master. You know it makes me crazy.”

“I’m sorry, Sir. Sometimes I can’t help it.”

They studied each other for a moment.

“This can’t work.”

“No, it can’t.”

“I’m fucking you as soon as they leave.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He led her downstairs, wondering how to politely get rid of their guests.