Текст книги "Forever Black"
Автор книги: Sandi Lynn
сообщить о нарушении
Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 15 страниц)
Chapter 29
I took a cab to the bank where my father used to do all his banking. I stepped inside and walked over to the teller handing her the folded piece of paper I took from my purse. She walked me over to the safety deposit boxes, pulled the number that was indicated on the paper and led me to a small room.
“Let me know when you’re finished,” she smiled. I stared at the box and the letter as the memory of my father’s death haunted me.
Dear Ellery,
If you’re reading this letter that means one thing that I’ve gone to be with your mother. I’m sorry for being such a lousy father to you. I tried to do what’s right by you, but the death of your mother was too much for me to handle and drinking was the only way to kill the pain, at least for me. No matter how bad it got you always stood by me and took care of me when I should have been the one taking care of you. You had to grow up so fast and I’m sorry for that. I feel like I stole your childhood from under you. You should have been playing with your friends and having fun, instead you were home taking care of your alcoholic father because he wasn’t strong enough to help himself. I do know one thing Ellery; I know that you grew into a strong young lady. I know you’ve endured a lot of heartache through the years and then having to fight cancer was unfair, but you did it baby and I’m so proud of you. If I don’t or didn’t get the chance to tell you that, I am now. I am so proud of my little girl. Your mother gave me the attached instructions before she died and asked me to hold it until you were eighteen. It’s the number of a safety deposit box your mother had kept for you. I’ve been adding to it every year since your mother passed. When you are ready, go and open the box and remember how much you are loved. Love always, Dad.
My Aunt Diane gave me the letter a couple of days after my dad died. She told me he gave it to her for safe keeping and if anything should happen to him before my eighteenth birthday she was to give it to me. I held onto the letter all these years because I was never ready to open that box.
I carefully slipped my fingers around the edge of the top and lifted it slowly till it stopped. I looked down into the box with the black felt lining and pulled out a wad of cash that was sitting on top in a white envelope. I set it down on the table and pulled out a silver heart locket with an inscription on the back, “Happy 18th Birthday, Love Mom. I covered my mouth as the tears poured from my eyes. I opened the locket and there was a picture of my mother one side and me as a child on the other. I wiped my eyes as I pulled out a video cassette tape that was labeled, “To my darling daughter.” Lying at the bottom of the box was a stack of bonds with my name on them. I took a deep breath and composed myself before closing the lid on the box and leaving the room.
My phone chimed. I reached in my pocket and pulled it out; there was another text from Connor.
“Where are you Ellery?”
I looked at his words, my heart aching and I didn’t want him to worry, so I replied.
“Connor, I had to leave, my being at your place was hurting you as bad as it was hurting me. The only thing I can tell you is I’m ok and please don’t worry about me. I have a few things I need to do and I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
I grabbed my things and handed the teller the safe deposit box and the bonds. As I was waiting for her to return, a text from Connor came through.
“What do you mean you don’t know when you’ll be back? Where the fuck are you going? You have treatments to finish; you better get the fuck back here NOW!”
I lightly laughed because even over text he was yelling at me, but I loved him and I was doing this for him, for us. A few moments later another text came through.
“I will find you Ellery Lane even if I have to travel to the ends of the earth; make no mistake I will find you.”
I smiled and quickly replied, “I know you will my stalker.” I shut my phone off and took the money the teller handed me from my bonds. Combined with the cash in the envelope and with the money from the sale of my paintings, I had a little over $100,000.
I called a cab and had the driver drive me to the airport. I stepped up to the ticket counter and booked a one way flight to California. The flight didn’t leave for a couple of hours so I sat down and turned on my phone. I dialed Peyton’s number and she answered on the first ring.
“Ellery, where are you? I’ve been so worried, we’ve all been worried.”
“Peyton, stop and calm down, I need you to listen to me, you are the only one I’m telling this to so whatever you do, don’t you dare let Connor or Henry know, please.”
She hesitated, “Ok, anything.”
I took a deep breath, “I’m flying out to California for a while and I need you to throw Connor off my trail. I need you to talk to him every day and find out what he’s learned. I need to buy some time before he finds me.”
“Do you want him to find you?” She whispered.
“Yeah, I do want him to find me because if he does then I know we were meant to be together and everything I’m doing would be for something.”
“He’s pissed Ellery; he was throwing things and swearing. You should have heard the things he was saying.”
“He’s angry and he’ll get over it, just try to be a friend to him. I have to go, love you friend.” I hung up and threw my phone in the trash.
Chapter 30
I stepped onto the pavement of Los Angeles, California a nervous wreck. I couldn’t believe I was here, alone in a strange city. The air was much warmer than New York and it felt like the sun shined brighter. I put on my sunglasses and hailed a cab. I handed the driver a piece of scrap paper from the airport in Michigan and told him to take me to that address. He pulled up to the building and as he drove away; I stood there examining my surroundings. I walked around the side of the rental office where I met Mason, the manager of the apartment building.
“Hi, I’m Mason Grant, I manage these wonderful apartments and you must be Ellery?”
I extended my hand to greet his, “Yes, I am.”
“Fabulous,” he said as he turned and grabbed a key off the board.
We walked over to the next building and he took me up to the third floor apartment. He inserted the key and opened the door. I walked in and looked around. It was fully furnished and clean and that’s all I needed. Before I agreed to rent it, I needed to talk to Mason first. I asked him to sit at the table. He looked at me awkwardly as he sat down.
“Let me guess, you’re running from the law?”
“No, it’s not like that,” I laughed. “I can’t leave a paper trail because it will make it easier for someone to find me.”
He leaned in closer, “Oh now you have me intrigued, continue.”
I continued with the story about why I was here and all about Connor. I went as far as to show him my tattoos. He grabbed my wrists and stared at them. Then he looked at me with a tear in his eye, “You had me at hi.” I laughed and he reached over and hugged me. We came to the agreement that I would not sign a lease and that I would pay cash every month for as long as I needed to stay, but I had to promise one thing; I had to come to his place for dinner and meet his partner Landon. I agreed and hugged him as he handed me the keys to my new apartment.
I looked around. It was bigger than my box back in New York. The thing that excited me most was the fireplace in the living room. The kitchen was much more spacious with its white cabinets and black granite countertops. This place had everything I needed right down to the BUN coffee maker. I walked to the bedroom and set my bag on the bed. The first thing I had to do was go get a new cell phone.
I walked down the street to the shopping center and slipped inside the wireless store. I glanced at the wall that said “PREPAID PHONES.” I picked the phone, paid and headed to the little grocery store at the end of the strip. I picked up some essentials and carried my bags back to the apartment. I was exhausted by time I got back. I put my food away, sat on my couch and texted Peyton.
“DO NOT store my name in your phone and delete these texts after you read them.”
“Are you some secret agent now?”
“Very funny, what’s going on?”
“All is quiet on the home front so far; Connor did ask me to let him know if I hear from you. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Yes, I have to go, remember delete.”
I unpacked my bag and put everything away in the dresser and closet. The one thing I was missing that I needed was an easel and paints. I walked downstairs to Mason’s apartment and knocked on the door.
“Hello fabulous,” he answered exuberantly, “Come in.” I walked into his beautifully decorated apartment that was bigger than mine.
“Do you know where there’s an art store close by?”
He looked at me and cocked his head, “An art store? As in completed paintings or artsy supply stuff?”
I laughed, “Artsy supply stuff.”
He turned his head and yelled, “Landon, come meet our new tenant that lives upstairs.”
Landon, who looked like he just stepped out of the pages of a GQ magazine, strutted across the floor with his hand held out.
“Nice to meet you Ellery,” he smiled as he kissed my hand.
“Miss fabulous wants to go to the artsy supply store, so I say let’s take her.”
“Oh no, that’s ok, if you’ll just tell me where it is I can go myself.”
Mason and Landon laughed, “Don’t be silly, we’ll take you, someone has to show you around L.A.”
I got into the back seat of their 2009 Volvo as the boys drove me to the art store. I knew exactly what I needed so I wasn’t in there very long. I picked up an easel, paints, canvases and brushes.
“I’m so excited to see what you’re going to paint,” Landon said as he carried my easel up the stairs for me. There was a perfect spot in the corner between two windows where it fit perfectly. I was exhausted, and it was already 12am California time, and I was still on New York time. I needed sleep bad; I had an early appointment in the morning that I couldn’t miss. I slid into my new queen size bed and was surprised at how fast I drifted to sleep.
I opened my eyes and had to remember I wasn’t in New York anymore. I still couldn’t believe I was California. I took a shower and put on a cute little beige sundress and flip-flops. I pulled my hair to a side braid and headed out the door. One of the main reasons I took the apartment was because it was within walking distance of the place I would be visiting frequently.
When I reached my destination, I stood in front of the infamous Cedars Sinai Grace Hospital. I met with Dr. Danielle Murphy who was the head of the new cancer clinical study involving cancer treatment injections and immunotherapy.
“Nice to meet you Ellery,” Dr. Murphy said as she motioned for me to sit down. “So, you were first diagnosed with Leukemia at 16?” She asked as she looked at me. I nodded.
“You had 24 chemotherapy treatments and went into remission and now at 23 years old the leukemia came back.”
“Yes,” I said as I looked down at my hands.
“First of all, let me tell you that I’m sorry you did and are going through that again, but I was very pleased when I got your email because I think you are a perfect candidate for our clinical trial.” I sat there listening to her with enthusiasm in her voice.
“You’ve had one chemo treatment and that was almost 2 weeks ago correct?” I shook my head. She closed my file and threw it on the desk.
“Ellery, look at me. You are in the trial and this is how it’s going to work. I am going to send you home with some immunotherapy pills; it’s a cocktail, like chemo, but with less side effects and you are to take them every day you are in this trial. Then you will come here once a month for 3 injections over the span of 3 months. Once you receive your last injection, we will do all the necessary testing to see if you’re cancer free. If the cancer is still there, but you are getting better, then we will continue treatment for another 3 months. I see here in your medical file that you had stem cells removed before you received treatment when you were 16.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, “I had forgotten about that.”
She crossed her arms and ankles and leaned back on the desk. “Well, it’s a good thing you had it done because my recommendation is that you undergo a stem cell transplant once you’re better, to prevent this disease from coming back later in life. Now sit tight while I get your pills and then you’re free to go,” she said as she patted me on the shoulder.
I pulled out my phone and texted Peyton. “What’s the low down on Mr. B?
“Mr. B isn’t talking. He says he hasn’t heard from you, but he’d let me know if he did. Elle, he’s weird, he’s acting normal. I’m so sorry.”
There was one piece of my heart that started to heal when he took care of me after my chemo treatment. Now that piece shattered into even more pieces than before. Tears started to sting my eyes as Dr. Murphy came back and handed me a bag full of pills.
“Here you go Ellery, you are to take these pills first thing in the morning before you eat, and I am scheduling your first round of injections 2 weeks from today.”
I managed a half-smile as I thanked her and walked out the door. The minute the warm California air hit my skin, the tears started to flow. I barely made it home before my legs started to shake. I made it up to my apartment and fell to the floor, sobbing into my hands. A loud knock startled me.
“Elle, its Mason, open up, I hear you crying.”
I turned around, still on the floor, and reached up and opened the door. Mason looked down and met me on the floor.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as he hugged me. My shoulders moved up and down as I tried to talk.
“I’m pretty sure Connor gave up on me.”
“Sweetie, you don’t know that for sure,” he pulled me closer. He sat with me on the floor while I cried. “Maybe he just is giving the two of you some space.”
“I don’t know. Peyton said he’s acting normal. How the fuck can he act normal when I’m a total mess?”
“Guys are different Elle; they don’t wear their heart on their sleeves like women do. Give him some time; I’m sure he’s just as upset but not letting Peyton know it.” I shook my head and got up from the floor.
“Thanks Mason, I appreciate it.” He hugged me tight and left to go back to his apartment.
I spent the rest of the day painting a vision I had in my mind of a Cape Cod style house that sat surrounded by grass. I envisioned a short stone wall that went around the property, and an archway that led to steps going down to a small private beach with a boat and a lighthouse. I was going to paint two versions, one day and one night. I had nothing but time on my hands and painting was my escape from this reality, into another with peace and tranquility.
Chapter 31
I took my 15 pills every morning and every night my body shook for an hour straight. So far, that was the only side effect I had and after what chemo did to me, that was a piece of cake. I occupied the last couple of weeks by absorbing myself into my artwork and spending time with Mason and Landon. They quickly became my best friends in California. Even though I tried to keep myself busy, I thought about Connor every day and night. Peyton kept me updated and nothing had changed; he wasn’t doing anything to find me.
The loneliness I felt was beyond anything I ever experienced before. When we were apart in New York, I had the comfort of knowing he was in the same city and that we would eventually run into each other; but he’s not here in California and the loneliness factor is ten times worse. I checked my email every day hoping he would send me one, but he didn’t and I didn’t because it was obvious he was over me. I would pull his picture up online and put my wrist over my heart. Sometimes just seeing a picture of him eased the pain, but most of the time it made it worse.
In two days I get my first set of injections. I was nervous not knowing what effects it will have on me, so I decided to take the morning and run to the store. I needed to stock up on some things in case I couldn’t leave the apartment. I put on my khaki shorts, a black tank top and a pair of black strappy sandals I picked up on sale when I first moved here. I stopped by Mason and Landon’s apartment to ask if they needed me to pick up anything; they graciously said no but appreciated the thought. I walked down the street and around the corner to Trader Joes and picked up some things to stock my refrigerator. I took in the warmth of the California sun as I headed back to the apartment.
I reached down in my bag and pulled out the Twix bar I desperately craved. I looked up as I almost reached the building and came to a standstill when I saw him leaning against the side of a black convertible Porsche. He looked at me and smiled.
“You’re a hard woman to find Miss Lane.”
It felt like life was breathed into me again as my heart started racing. I let my bags fall to the ground and ran to him as fast as I could. He was no longer leaning against the car when I jumped up and wrapped my legs and arms around him. He caught me by wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight.
“Oh baby, I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered in my ear.
“I missed you and I’m sorry.”
“Shh…no apologies, the only thing that matters is that I found you and your safe.”
I lifted my head up, cupped his face in my hands and kissed him passionately. Our tongues met with excitement and exhilaration as our long-lost kiss left us breathless. Tears started running down my face as he put me down and softly wiped my cheeks with his thumb.
“Let me look at you?” he said as he spun me around. He grabbed me and held me tight. “You look just as beautiful as when you left.”
Mason and Landon emerged from their apartment clapping. I turned my head and smiled, “Guys this is…”
Mason held up his hand, “We already met this gorgeous man Elle.” I looked at them and then at Connor.
“What? How?”
“Your hot sexy boy toy came to the rental office and wanted to know if you were renting an apartment here and we said YES! We told him you ran to the store but you’d be right back.”
Connor kissed the top of my head, “You have some great friends here.”
I hugged him again as Mason and Landon walked over and picked up the bags I dropped on the cement. Connor put his arm around me as we walked up to the building.
“See, no private entrance,” I smiled.
“You’re learning,” he lightly laughed.
I took him up to my apartment. Mason and Landon stepped inside, put the bags on the counter and quickly left as Landon gave me a wink. Connor turned and ran his finger along my jaw line and over my lips.
“You have a lot of explaining to do, but first I’m going to make love to you.”
I gasped as my body quivered. He lightly brushed his lips against mine as his tongue trailed down my neck. “You taste so good, it’s been too long Ellery; I need you. I need to be inside you.”
His words sounded desperate as was my body begging him to take me. He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom, his lips never leaving mine. He set me down in front of the bed and lifted my shirt over my head, tossing it to the side. His hands ran up and down my sides and over my hips as he let out a light moan. He unhooked my bra as it fell to the floor. His hands were cupping my breasts and fingering my nipples as his tongue explored my navel. He found his way up to my breasts, lightly biting my nipple while removing my shorts. My body was on fire and the ache I felt for him was an ache much stronger than before. He didn’t even need to touch me; my body was in a constant state of ache whenever he was near me.
I brought his face to mine and kissed him letting him know how much I needed and wanted him. He groaned as my hands took off his shirt and my nails lightly dug into his back. He broke from me as he kicked off his shoes and took down his pants. I stared at his masculine body as the fire in my body raged. He put his arms around me as he gently laid me on the bed hovering over me and staring into my eyes.
“You make me feel alive, like no one ever has.”
I ran my hands through his perfectly tousled hair and brought him in for a kiss. His hands traveled from my breasts down to the edge of my panties. He pressed his erection into me as I arched my back begging for more. He slid his hand down to the front of my panties and moaned, “Ellery, you’re so wet.”
“This is what you do to me Connor, feel every bit of it.”
He slid his fingers inside me and gently worked them around as his thumb circled around me, arousing me more than I already was. The ache was getting unbearable.
“I want you to come now Ellery, while my fingers are inside of you, pleasuring you.” His words sent me into oblivion as I screamed out from the amazing orgasm this man gave me. “That’s my girl,” he smiled.
With him still hovering over me and his tongue circling my nipple, I reached down and grabbed his erection, gently stroking it and feeling the wetness as I lightly moved my thumb over the tip. He groaned, “Oh god Ellery.”
His lips moved to mine as I pushed him off me and got on top. He smiled and bit his bottom lip. I wanted to take control of him; I wanted to pleasure him as much as he did me. I straddled him as I took him inside me, gently moving up and down. His hands traveled over my breasts as he took my nipples between his fingers.
“You are so beautiful, especially when I see you like this,” he groaned.
I was swelling as I moved back and forth preparing for my next release. My hands were planted firmly on his chest as his were planted on my hips, moving me up and down.
“Look at me Ellery; I need to see you come.”
I looked directly in his eyes as our breathing was heavy and I moved up and down, back and forth, faster and faster. His moans grew louder as his eyes never left mine.
“Don’t come yet baby, I want us to come together,” he panted.
He flexed his hips under me so he was deeper inside, I didn’t think it was possible but he was. He moved up and down with me as our bodies became one.
“Scream for me baby, I want to hear what I do to you.”
That sent me over the top as I couldn’t hold back anymore and neither could he; one final thrust as we both came together never taking our eyes off one another.
I collapsed onto his chest and buried my head into his neck. I laid there as he rubbed his hands up and down my back and I lightly kissed his neck, taking in his incredible scent. Our heart rates slowed as did our breathing. He rolled me off of him and onto my side as he faced me, pushing my hair back behind my ear not saying a word. He didn’t need to say anything; I knew exactly what he was feeling just by his stare and his touch. I never wanted to leave this position; I wanted to stay like this forever.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said. I took his hand and brought it up to my mouth.
“I was thinking about how happy I am you found me.” He smiled in the way that made me ache for him.
“I told you I would find you, remember I’m a stalker.” I laughed and ran my fingers up and down his arm.
“You can stalk me any day Mr. Black.”
He sat up and pulled me closer so my head was resting on his chest.
“How did you find me?” I asked.
He kissed me on the top of my head, “I’ll tell you everything and you’ll tell me everything while we go grab something to eat, I’m starving.”
I lifted my head and frowned at him, “You mean we have to leave this bed?”
“Yes darling, but trust me, we’ll be back in it soon enough.”
I reached up and kissed him on the lips and we got out of bed. We redressed ourselves and headed to the main room of the apartment.
“This apartment is really nice, better than the one in New York.” I hit him on the arm as I walked past.
“Hey, I like my little box in New York.”
He smiled and walked to the kitchen. He stopped as he stared at the 15 bottles of pills all lined up in a row on the counter. He picked up one of the bottles and starting reading the label.
“Care to explain what these are?” He asked as he gave me a pained look. I took his hands and led him over to the couch.
“I’m in a trial study, that’s why I came out here.” He started to interrupt as I put my finger over his mouth, “Let me finish.”
He smiled as he took my finger in his mouth and sucked on it. I giggled and removed it as I continued, “I have to take these pills every day. Once a month I go to the hospital and get a set of 3 injections, it’s called some type of Immunotherapy. I have to do this for a period of 3 months. Once I complete the 3 months, the doctor will test my blood to see if the cancer is gone; if not then I will continue for another 3 months. I don’t even know if it’s going to work,” I said as I looked down.
He lifted my chin so I was looking at him, “It will work; It has to work.”
“It’s only a trial Connor; it’s the first time it’s being done on humans so right now I don’t know what to think.”
“You’re strong Elle, you’re the strongest and most stubborn person I have ever met in my life and if anybody can pull through this it’s you, but you have to stop running away from me.” I took his hand that was stroking my cheek.
“I know; I’m just so scared.”
He grabbed my hands and turned them over as he looked at my tattoos and lightly kissed each on. “Don’t be scared, I’m here and I’m going to help you through this. Even if this trial doesn’t work, it doesn’t matter because I will fly you around the world and find you the treatment that will work because,” he took in a deep breath, “I love you Ellery Lane and I will protect you.”
Tears streamed down my face as I heard the words that he never spoke to anyone before. I hugged him as tight as I could and whispered into his ear, “I love you to.” His fingers wrapped around the bottom of my shirt as he gently lifted it off me. My heart started racing as he leaned me back on the couch and we made love.
