Текст книги "Fall From India Place"

Автор книги: Samantha Young

Соавторы: Samantha Young
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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

CHAPTER 6

The next week flew in with work and volunteering, the gym and my book club. By the time Saturday rolled around I was looking forward to taking some time off, spending the night with Cole surrounded by people we didn’t know, cracking jokes and making up life stories for the strangers we’d be sharing a reception hall with.

When I got into the cab he’d hired to drive us to the reception just outside the city center, my eyes roved over Cole in approval. He’d gone conservative for me this evening, wearing a three-piece suit that covered most of his tattoos. He gave a nod to his own personal taste with the chain that dangled from the front of his waistband, looping down and up to the back of it.

“You look great,” I said with a grin.

“You look stunning,” he murmured, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

I was wearing a black dress, molded to my figure, and bright blue pumps with platform heels. “Was Stephanie okay about you escorting me tonight?”

Cole quirked an eyebrow at the mention of his girlfriend, appearing annoyed. “Nope.”

I winced. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. She’s been acting crazy jealous lately. Not just about you, but girls at uni, even clients at the studio. I don’t think it’s going to work out.”

“Cole, I’m really sorry.” I cuddled into his side as the cab drove out of town. “Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we were attracted to each other?”

“So much easier,” he agreed. “But alas, you are immune to my charms.”

“As you are to mine.” I sighed dramatically.

Cole chuckled and put his arm around me. “One day you’ll meet someone you can stand to commit to, and I’ll meet someone who isn’t batshit crazy.”

“Oh, you dreamer you.”

The wedding reception was in full swing when we got there. Someone I didn’t know directed me to the table where all the wedding presents were and I put my gift there before tagging Cole by the hand and leading him into the main hall. Tables and chairs had been pushed to the edges of the room and the lights had been dimmed. Guests danced on the floor to the DJ’s playlist, while others mingled at the tables and at the bar at the far end of the room. I spotted the bride easily and we made our way over to her.

“Oh, my gosh!” Nish cried out happily upon seeing me. “You look amazing.”

I laughed. “I say that to you. And you do. You look beautiful.” I gestured to Cole. “This is Cole.”

“The famous Cole.” Nish hugged him, sharing her joy. Cole patted her back awkwardly and politely tried to disengage. “Oh, my word.” She grinned into his face. “You are even more gorgeous in real life.” She frowned at me. “What is wrong with you? Just friends. Pfft. Anyhoo” – she flung herself around – “Andrew!”

A good-looking bloke in a kilt turned at her yell and grinned, swaggering over to us.

Nish grabbed his arm and yanked him close. “Hannah, this is my husband, Andrew.”

After the introductions, we left the happy couple to their mingling and Cole and I made our way over to the bar. I passed the table with my colleagues and waved at them.

“Do you want to go over?” Cole asked, following my gaze.

“Nah. Let’s just hang out. Mock people. Mock love,” I joked.

“I’m starting with you, Miss Cynical.”

I rolled my eyes as he ordered our drinks. As soon as we had them I moved us over to an almost empty table. I’d forgotten how awkward it could be to be in a room with a bunch of strangers who knew one another but didn’t know you. “We’ll leave soon,” I promised.

Cole shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me. Nish seems nice.”

“She’s a kook.” I shook my head, watching her drag Barbara onto the dance floor. I sank a little lower in my seat, hoping she wouldn’t demand the same of me.

We sat there a while, just laughing and joking and catching up on each other’s lives. Some time had passed when I began to feel a burn on the left side of my face. Skin tingling, I turned my head to look across the room. My eyes moved over the guests, not recognizing anyone. Don’t know him, don’t know her, don’t know her, don’t know him, Marco, don’t know hi —

My eyes dragged back, my heart suddenly in my throat as my gaze connected with Marco’s.

I felt as if someone had just swung a bat at my chest.

I couldn’t breathe.

It was Marco.

He was older, more filled out, if that was even possible, but I’d know that face anywhere. It was hard to mistake.

“Hannah?” Cole’s concerned voice tugged at me and I glanced back at him in shock.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m f-fine,” I stammered, slowly rising to my feet. “I’m just… I need to nip to the ladies’. I’ll be right back.” I shot out the side door near our table into the cool air of the hallway. I inhaled deeply in an effort to get some of that air inside me.

I studied the hallway a little stupidly, looking for signs for the ladies’.

Finding one, I followed the arrow, my brain on overload with questions.

“Hannah.”

His deep, gravel-rough, accented voice drew me to an abrupt halt.

It was him. It really was him. He was here somehow.

Slowly, I turned around to face the guy I had pined over for so many years, my eyes greedily drinking in the sight of him, even though I tried to resist. He wore suit trousers and a shirt that stretched nicely across his broad chest. He’d always been athletically built, but he’d put on bulk, his biceps clearly much larger than they used to be. His face had filled out a little too, but was no less angular, his cut jawline and sharp cheekbones such a contrast to his exotic eyes and sensual lips. He was utterly striking.

I wanted to hate him.

“What are you doing here?” I asked sharply.

When he didn’t answer me, I studied him more closely and only then realized how stunned he was to see me. Finally he cleared his throat and took a step toward me. I took a step back. Something like annoyance flashed in his eyes as he noted my retreat. “Andrew is a colleague. We work construction together. Real estate mostly.”

It occurred to me that meant he’d probably worked for Braden. Good thing I’d told neither Braden nor Adam of Marco’s existence. Marco D’Alessandro wasn’t really a common name in these parts.

“I meant in Scotland,” I said flatly. “Last time I checked you’d gone back to Chicago.”

Marco nodded and my heart pumped harder as the surrealism of the moment dissipated. He was really in front of me. Really there. Touching distance. “For a while. But I came back.”

My stomach flipped unpleasantly as a question came to mind and quickly spilled from between my lips. “When? When did you come back?”

He shifted uneasily. “A year after I left.”

This revelation winded me.

Five words and the betrayal he’d dealt me quadrupled in size. “You’ve been back for four years?” I asked incredulously, unable to keep the anger out of my voice. “You never thought to call?”

He took another step toward me. I took another back. Marco rubbed his hand over his head in that way he did when he didn’t know what to say. His gaze bored into mine, almost pleading with me. “Back then you were better off without me, Hannah. After what I did…”

Disgusted, I suddenly stopped retreating and took a few steps toward him. “Better off? You bet your arse, I am.” Unable to take one more second in his presence, I moved to stride past him, only to be surprised by the warm curl of his hand around my bare arm. He halted me and I stared up at him in shock, ignoring the intriguing spice of his cologne and the fact that he was the only man who had ever made me feel feminine and fragile.

I used to like that feeling.

Not so much anymore. I tugged my arm, but Marco pulled me toward him.

“Let me go,” I bit out.

“Hannah, at least talk to me.” He bent his head toward me and I felt that traitorous flutter of butterflies as I looked into his eyes. “It’s so fucking good to see you,” he whispered, his expression soft on me.

I shook myself out from under the spell he was trying to cast over me. “Pity I can’t say the same. Now let me go.”

“Hannah —”

“Is there a problem here?” Cole’s voice made me sag with relief. I looked over my shoulder to see him glowering at Marco. He was younger and he wasn’t nearly as built as Marco, but Cole’s tall, athletic body was coiled with hard muscle. Not to mention that he studied judo and kickboxing. Definitely nothing to sneeze at.

Marco reluctantly let me go. “No.”

I didn’t spare him another glance. I couldn’t. Instead I marched away from him, putting my hand on Cole’s chest in thanks. He threw Marco one last warning look before sliding his arm around my waist to lead me away.

“You okay?” he asked softly.

I nodded. Lie, lie, lie!

“He looked familiar.”

“I knew him in high school. I had a crush on him.”

“I think I rem —” Cole sucked in a breath, hardness settling over his features. “Is he the guy?”

“No,” I lied convincingly. “He just rejected me, that’s all. I’m not in the mood to be reminded of that tonight.”

“Do you want to leave now?”

I drew in a deep breath, knowing I couldn’t sit in that reception hall with Marco. “Yeah.”

Cole got me out of there, reluctantly dropping me off at my flat. I could tell he sensed there was more to my story and didn’t want to leave me alone, but I needed to be alone.

I kicked off the heels that were pinching my toes and sat down in my sitting room in the dark.

I couldn’t believe Marco had been living in Edinburgh all this time. All this time…

The pain I’d shoved deep down inside me all those years ago came back with a vengeance. Tears burned in my eyes and in my throat as I remembered that night.

The night it all changed…

Walking into the flat I knew I shouldn’t be here. It was cloudy with smoke and the thick scent of marijuana. There wasn’t much furniture, and what was there was dingy and old. Not that I could see much of any of it, since the flat was packed wall to wall with people.

It was the start of our final year at school and Sadie wanted this year to be the best. How that translated into crashing some loser’s party on India Place, I didn’t know. As I followed her through the crowds, I slapped at hands that touched my hips and patted my arse. Great.

“I see Dave!” Sadie shouted over her shoulder to me. Dave was the reason she’d dragged me to the party with her. He was a few years older and she had a crush on him. “I’ll be right back.”

Before I could say anything she’d disappeared and I was left standing in the doorway of the living room. I felt the vibrations from the music speaker thrum unpleasantly in my chest. Where were the neighbor complaints? The police?

I was shoved somewhat forcefully into the room as more people streamed in, and while I tried to squeeze back into the crowds on the outskirts, my eyes caught sight of three lines of white powder on the glass coffee table.

I stared wide-eyed as a girl I didn’t know snorted a line.

Fuck, I needed to get out of there.

I turned to flee, only to slam up against someone’s chest.

My eyes rose to meet unfamiliar dark ones. The guy’s eyes swept over me, glittering with sexual intent, and just like that I found myself pinned between the wall and him.

“I’ve never seen you before,” he said loudly into my ear, his mouth touching it.

I ducked my head, shivering in revulsion at the feel of his lips on my skin. “I’m just leaving,” I yelled, attempting to duck under his arm.

He stopped me and I closed my eyes, trying not to panic. We were in a room filled with people. It wasn’t like he could do anything. Still, I cursed myself for borrowing Sadie’s figure-hugging blue dress – this was not the kind of attention I’d wanted when I’d chosen to wear it.

“Aw, stay a bit.” He grinned, pressing in closer. “Get tae know me.”

“I don’t want to know you. I want to leave. Move.”

“That’s no very nice.” He bit his lip in a way I assumed he thought women found sexy. He assumed wrong. “You look nice. Play nice.”

I glared at him. “Get. Off. Me.”

Before he could reply, a large fist gripped his shirt and he was suddenly pushed away. He tripped over a girl’s foot and crashed to the floor. My eyes went from him to the large guy beside me and a wave of relief and giddiness moved through me.

Marco scowled down at the stranger. The stranger got up without a word, his expression fearful, and disappeared into the room beyond.

Marco quickly turned on me, and my thanks and “hello” caught in my throat as he wrapped his hand around my arm and none too gently shoved me in front of him out the doorway and down the hall.

I could feel the anger emanating from him.

Confused, I stayed silent, watching him take a key out of his jeans and unlock the door at the end of the hall. He shoved me inside and followed me. He closed the door behind us and I heard the lock turn. The music was a muffled throbbing pulse beyond it.

My eyes wandered over the small space. There was a bed, a worn-out desk with an old laptop on it, and a chest of drawers.

“What are you doing here?” Marco asked gruffly, his eyebrows drawn together in annoyance as his gaze roamed over me.

Equally annoyed by his attitude, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Hello to you, too.”

I hadn’t seen Marco in weeks. After the whole Scott date fiasco, with the help of Jo and Liv I managed to ambush Marco in D’Alessandro’s again and got him to agree to hang out with me. We did, but the tension between us had intensified somehow, and he began to make excuses not to see me.

I missed him all the time.

Hiding my hurt, I looked around the room. “Do you live here?”

“Like you didn’t know that.”

Stung, I gave a bitter snort of laughter. “Contrary to what you might think, I know when I’m not wanted. I didn’t know you lived here. How could I? I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

I watched his eyes soften. “Sorry. That was a shit thing to say.”

“Why do you live here?” I couldn’t keep the distaste out of my expression.

Marco grimaced and sank down onto the edge of his bed. “I had to get my own place, but I don’t exactly have a lot of money. My friend knows the guy who owns this place. The rent is cheap. My roommate, however, isn’t worth it.” He gestured to the door and everything that was going on beyond it. “I’ll be moving out as soon as possible.” His eyes narrowed on me. “Doesn’t answer the question of why the hell you of all people are at a place like this?”

“Me of all people? I’m at a party, Marco. I’ve been known to do that sometimes.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Not this kind of party. Hannah, you need to go. You can’t be here.”

“I came with Sadie.”

“Of course you did.” Marco wasn’t a big fan of Sadie. “We’ll find her and go.”

“Or…” I took a step toward him and noted his eyes lowered, moving over my legs before he could stop them. “We could stay. Hang out. We haven’t done that in a while.”

His jaw clenched. “Hannah, just leave.”

I had weeks of being pissed off to fuel my anger. “Fine! You stay here and I’ll go back to the party.”

“Don’t you dare.” He stood up abruptly.

“Or what?” I taunted him. “Are you going to throw me out? Just like you’re throwing me out of your life?”

“You don’t belong here!” he yelled, taking me aback.

I flinched but stood my ground. “If you’re here, I’m here!”

Marco seemed stumped by that.

He hung his head, staring at the floor.

“I miss talking to you,” I whispered sadly.

His eyes flicked to me and he couldn’t hide the remorse and tenderness in them. I almost closed mine in relief.

“How have you been?” he asked gruffly.

I shrugged. “Fine, I guess. School is good. I got an unconditional offer from Edinburgh University.”

Marco smiled a little. “That’s awesome. I’m proud of you.”

I smiled back, feeling warmth course through me at his praise. I took another step toward him. “How’s work?”

“It’s fine. I still work shifts at the restaurant.”

I’d told him months ago how surprised I was to discover he was working for his uncle. I asked him why he’d hid it from me. He said it was a shit situation and not worth talking about.

“You’ve haven’t broken away from them?”

He shook his head. “They adopted me so I could live in the UK. I owe them for getting me out of a bad situation in Chicago. I owe my aunt. She’s been good to me.”

“But you’re not living there anymore?”

He looked up at me, his expression solemn. “I worry what I might end up doing if I stayed there. I had to leave.”

“Marco,” I breathed, aching for him and wishing I could just wrap my arms around him.

“I don’t want your sympathy. I never have,” he snapped.

“Oh, get over yourself, you big baby. I’m allowed to be upset for you. It comes with the territory of caring about you.”

He grunted. “Just say it how you feel it, Hannah.”

As our eyes clashed the air felt suddenly electric between us. “Are you sure you mean that?”

He knew where I was leading. He shook his head. “Don’t.”

“Why?” I asked softly, trying to fight my frustration and failing. “You know I care about you, and you know… you know I want to be with you. You can’t keep avoiding that.” I sucked in a breath. “Why did you react the way you did to seeing me with Scott? Why did you say what you said to me in Douglas Gardens all those months ago? In fact, why have you looked out for me all these years if you didn’t feel the same way back?”

He squeezed his eyes shut tight, pinching the bridge of his nose. With a groan, he hung his head.

I almost laughed. “That’s not an answer.”

“Hannah” – he sighed, still not meeting my eyes – “I looked out for you because you’re a good girl and I didn’t want scum like Jenks touching you. I said what I said in the gardens that night because I meant it. Because you’re important to me. You’re my friend and I don’t have a lot of those. As for Scott…” He shook his head. “Fuck knows.”

I moved toward him, my pulse throbbing in my neck. “I think you know.”

His eyes blazed. “It’s not what you think.”

I closed the distance between us, my body brushing his as I tilted my head back to look into his face. He didn’t step back. I took that as a good sign. “It’s exactly what I think.”

The muscle in his jaw ticked and something powerful and perhaps dangerous emanated from him. “You need to leave.”

“Don’t.”

“Hannah, leave now.”

“Marco —”

“Hannah, leave!” he growled, his body heat burning me.

I flinched, rejection and anger molten within me. “You are such a coward!”

“You are such a pain in my ass!” he yelled back.

“Fine! I’ll go out there and be a pain in someone else’s arse!” My breathing felt out of control. I felt out of control. “I don’t need this. There are guys out there who actually want to kiss and touch me.” I swung around on that grand, arrogant statement, intent on storming out of the room.

Instead Marco’s viselike grip tightened around my upper arm and I was suddenly hauled back, my body crashing flush against his. I didn’t even have a second to compute what was happening before his hard mouth was on mine.

I melted instantly into his kiss, relieved and lustful, my hands relaxing on his strong chest, my body leaning into his while my lips parted to let him devour me. The kiss was rough, desperate, and turned me on in a way I’d had no idea a kiss could. I loved the rich taste of him, the erotic feel of his tongue against mine, and the fact that I wasn’t just feeling his mouth on mine; I was feeling his strength all around me. His arms were steel bands holding me tight, his hands clenched the fabric at the back of my dress. I slid my hands up around his neck as his kiss slowed but deepened, and I thrilled at the feel of my breasts pressing against his muscled chest. I could smell him, taste him, feel his hot skin. He was everywhere, everything. It was sensational.

I didn’t know how long we stood there kissing. It felt like forever. My mouth was swollen, and my body was screaming for more. In a bid for more I ran my hands down his chest, around his waist and then under his shirt, groaning into his mouth at the sensation of his smooth, hot skin beneath my touch.

Abruptly, I was pushed away.

Panting, Marco stared back at me as if he’d never seen me before. Shock seemed to immobilize him for a second and I was too busy trembling with unfulfilled lust to string a sentence together.

I watched as he stumbled back against his bed and sank onto the mattress. He hung his head again while he tried to catch his breath.

Knowing that he was berating himself for some stupid reason I had yet to work out, it occurred to me that if I didn’t escalate things between us now I wouldn’t get this moment back with him. So I took small steps toward him.

I stopped, my legs almost touching his knees. My hand reached for him before I could stop myself and I stroked my fingers over his close-cropped dark hair. He lowered his hands at my touch, tilting his head back to look up at me. There was a warning in his eyes, his expression taut with restraint and perhaps a little anger.

I ignored his warning. “I’ll make you a promise,” I said. “I’ll keep being your friend and I’ll never mention this again… if you can look me in the eyes after what just happened and tell me you don’t want me.”

“Hannah.” His voice was thick as his eyes began to burn again.

My breathing grew shallow. “We’ve always been honest with each other, right?”

He gave a slight shake of his head. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I can’t… I can’t tell you I don’t want you.” His eyes studied my face before moving slowly down my body, and everywhere his gaze touched I came alive.

I’d never done much more than kiss a boy, not because I wasn’t ready to explore sex, but because I didn’t want to explore sex with anyone but Marco. I’d heard Ellie, Joss, Jo, and Liv’s crappy losing-their-virginity stories and I’d promised myself that the moment I let someone truly inside me, I’d make sure that someone was someone I loved.

And I loved Marco.

I’d been in love with him since the day he rescued me when I was fourteen years old.

Excited, thrilled, I forced bravery upon myself and reached for the hem of my dress. I pulled it up slowly, revealing my body to him bit by bit until it was up over my head. I shook my hair out and dropped the dress on his floor.

I stood there in front of him in nothing but cute turquoise underwear and a pair of heels. I’d never felt more vulnerable in my whole life.

And then he touched me. His fingers skimmed my belly and I felt a bolt of desire hit me between the legs as he caressed my skin. Suddenly he gripped my hips in both his large hands and I tottered toward him on my heels.

Our eyes met and the expression on his face made me feel more beautiful and desired than I’d ever known I could feel.

“Look at you,” he whispered hoarsely, almost reverently. “Look at you.”

“Marco…” I reached out, cupping his face in my hand.

His eyes closed at my touch, his expression so tender I wanted to melt all over again. I sighed as he pulled me closer to press sweet kisses against my stomach. His kisses went lower, following the waistband of my underwear, and I shivered at the touch of his fingertips coasting along my lower back.

I braced my hands on his shoulders to steady myself.

Seconds later I felt a tug on my bra and it parted, falling down my arms. Heat suffused me. No one had seen me naked before.

One look into Marco’s eyes, though, and all embarrassment fled.

Marco groaned, his eyes ravishing me, and I found myself guided toward him until I had to put my knees on the bed on either side of him to straddle him. Lowering my bottom to his lap, I felt his large erection through his jeans and a rush of overwhelming sexual awareness crashed over me. My breasts swelled, my nipples tightened, and Marco took it as an invitation.

His mouth wrapped around my nipple and the feeling… the tingles, the sudden urgency that made me rock my hips against his… I wanted more. I wanted so much more…

I whimpered his name as I burned.

Marco pulled back, his heavy-lidded gaze on my face, his strong arms holding me tight. “I shouldn’t be doing this.”

I took his face in my hands and looked deep in his eyes. “Would you rather some other guy was?”

And that was when I saw it. The dark flicker of anger, of possessiveness that had made him kiss me in the first place. Triumphant, I pressed my lips to his, moaning in pleasure as he kissed me back. Hard. Our tongues touched, sending sparks of growing arousal through me. The kiss turned searching – months, years even, of longing in it. We broke apart briefly so I could yank his T-shirt over his head, my hands roaming and memorizing every hard contour of his beautiful torso.

Suddenly I was flipped, my back on the bed, and Marco pulled away.

I stared up at him, panting, praying he wasn’t going to stop this.

My prayers were answered.

He towered over me, a fantasy come to life. His beautiful caramel-toned skin, the powerful shoulders, the abs that made my mouth water. I felt a flush of heat at the sight of the sexy definition in his hips and the way his hard-on strained against the zipper on his jeans.

There was an intensity in his blue-green eyes that made me shiver all over.

He reached for my foot, gently pulling my shoe off. And then the other one. His eyes followed the length of my legs as he stroked my calf. “I’ve thought about this,” he admitted quietly. “A million times more than I ever should have.”

Before I could respond, he put a hand on the mattress by my knee and leaned over me, his other hand hooking into my underwear. His eyes asked the question and I nodded, lifting my hips to help him.

He tugged my underwear down my legs and then took a minute to gaze at me.

I felt my cheeks flush under his hot gaze.

“Marco…?”

He pressed a kiss to my ankle and then nudged my legs apart. My lower belly fluttered wildly, but I moved my legs, anticipation making me slick.

His breath fanned warmly over my skin as he crawled between my legs. He lifted one over his shoulder and kissed the inside of my thigh. Then he kissed me there.

I arched my back, groaning at the sensation of his mouth on my sex, his tongue circling my clit for a time before moving south and licking inside me. I pushed up against him for more, my cries of pleasure drowned out by the party outside the little bubble of private heaven we’d created in his room.

Marco tormented me with his tongue, his own growl of pleasure vibrating through me in the most delicious way.

I felt it build, my body stiffening as the tension grew and grew and grew… and then shattered.

My first orgasm.

Delight and a weird sense of liberation flowed through my limbs as they melted in relaxation against Marco’s mattress. I opened my eyes on a soft smile to watch Marco divest himself of his jeans.

I froze at the sight of his erection.

It was huge.

How would that…?

“Ssh.” He hushed me reassuringly, urgently, as he caressed my hip. He kissed me as his body came down over mine and I wrapped my arms around his back, pulling him closer.

Nothing had ever felt more perfect than feeling his hard body against my soft one. I wanted to be inside him and I wanted him inside of me. In every way two people could be.

He touched me, two fingers sliding into me.

His breath hitched. “So ready. So tight.” He groaned and buried his head against my neck, kissing me there.

I jerked my hips up toward his, suddenly feeling very impatient. “Marco, please.”

He lifted his head and our eyes met.

There it was. That tether. That connection.

He moved, hips gliding against mine and I felt the hot throb of him nudge between my legs. I clutched his hips with my thighs, bracing myself. He surged forward, pushing into my tight, resisting body.

I tried to catch my breath at the overwhelming feeling of fullness.

Marco gritted his teeth, grasping me by the back of the thigh. It changed his angle and he pushed harder.

I cried out at the burn of pain, my whole body tensing.

“Hannah,” Marco panted, his concern breaking through my shock.

My eyes opened. He watched me, something like guilt on his face.

That buried the pain.

“Don’t stop,” I begged, not wanting him to ever regret this.

He shook his head. “You’re so tight.”

“Keep going.” I pulled his head down to kiss him, the kiss desperate and deep.

This hot, rumbling sound growled from the back of his throat as he began to move his hips against mine.

There was some residual pain, but the discomfort eased as all my awareness focused on the thrusts of his throbbing cock inside me. His grip on my thigh tightened, his lust-filled eyes on mine the whole time as he began to move faster, pumping in and out of me, creating the tension again.

“I can’t wait,” he panted, shaking his head. “I’m sorry…” He gritted his teeth again, the muscles in his neck straining as his hips stilled against mine seconds before he shuddered his release inside me.

Marco collapsed against me, his face buried in my neck, and as I stroked his back I felt the wonder of that moment cascade over me, leaving me absolutely content.

I smiled, tears pricking my eyes. “I love you,” I whispered.

The muscles in his back tensed.

Wariness moved through my chest, ugly and dark, and I waited, holding my breath.

He pushed up off of me, staring at me incredulously. “What the…” He scrambled off me as though I’d burned him. “We didn’t. What…” He hurried to dress.

“Marco?” I sat up, my lips trembling with vulnerability.

His eyes moved over me, and whatever he saw made him squeeze his own shut in despair. Despair!

My tears fell.

“We shouldn’t have.”

“Marco.”

“I shouldn’t have.” He yanked his T-shirt on and quickly stuffed his feet into his trainers. He looked back at me as he turned the lock on the door. “I’m sorry, Hannah. God, I’m sorry.”

And then he left me there.

Crying, I stumbled around the room through blurred vision, pulling on my clothes before someone came in. Dressed, I stared back at the bed, my eyes zeroing in on the spot of blood on the blanket.

Despair? Despair in this moment was mine, not his.

I never saw him again. Not until a few hours ago at a random wedding. My first love. My first time.

My first heartbreak.

The tears shimmered in my eyes, but I didn’t let them loose. I’d shed all those tears years ago.