Текст книги "Surviving Skarr"

Автор книги: Ruby Dixon

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“I do not. I have never had the opportunity.”

My eyes go wide. “You’ve never kissed? Never ever?”

“Never.” His back goes up. “But it looks simple enough. I just don’t see how it’s pleasurable.”

“Pffft. That’s because you’re a silly peacock.”

“I don’t know what that is.” His mouth twitches with amusement. “And you are very drunk.”

“Very,” I agree, but I’m having the best time. I don’t even mind being on the beach here with him. I don’t mind that my chest is thrumming and purring desperately, or that I’m thinking all kinds of naughty things right now. I’m just enjoying the moment—the drunken, drunken moment. “So you want me to show you how to kiss?”

“Only if you want to. Only if you are suitably impressed with me as your mate. If I must work harder to win you, I understand. I should be worthy.”

He sure is talking a lot for a man that wants to kiss. I squint my eyes at him, considering, and then decide to go for it. Sitting up, I fling myself at him and wrap my arms around his neck and plant my mouth on his.

Skarr makes a choked sound of surprise, his hands going to my sides.

I bite at his lower lip, and his mouth is softer than I expected. His lips are really nice, plush and giving against mine, and it turns out that kissing him feels pretty amazing after all. I brush my mouth against his and moan, because it feels so good. My fingers twine in his silky hair, and when he groans low in his throat, I feel powerful and sexy. I stroke my tongue between his lips, teasing him, and I can feel him gasp in astonishment.

Boy, he really doesn’t know how to kiss. The realization that I’m the one that gets to show him is pretty satisfying. No one gets to kiss Skarr but me. No one gets to nibble on this pouty mouth but me, or tangle their hands into his pretty prince hair. He’s mine to play with.

And so I keep playing with him. I pour everything I’ve got into the kiss, every bit of feminine wile and excitement, and when he pulls away, gasping, I nip his lower lip again, sucking on it with a slow, deliberate release.

“That is…you are…”

“Pretty awesome,” I agree, panting. “Let’s kiss some more.”

I lean in, but Skarr tilts his head to the side. “Wait.”

That makes me pause. “Wait for what?”

“I must know.” He eyes me. “Are you kissing me because you are drunk or because you wish to teach me?”

I roll my eyes, playing with his hair a bit more. “Duh, because I’m drunk.”

His expression changes to one that is completely crestfallen. “Then I do not want it. I want you to want me.”

“You don’t want to play?” I pout at him, running my hand down his chest. “What if I touch your chest?”

“Oh, I want to play,” he says, his voice strained even as he pushes my hand away. “But you are inebriated. It is not the same.”

“What if I put my hand on your thigh?” I purr enticingly, and do just that.

He groans, closing his eyes. “I will still push you away.”

And he does.

Well now, he’s just being ridiculous and I’m still having fun. “What if I rub your cock…”

And I plant my hand between his thighs.

It’s strange, because at first, there’s nothing. It’s smooth like a Ken doll. But then, a split-second after I register this, something shoots out, like it’s emerging from his body. Oh. He must be a grower.

Then, a second bulge shoots out.

My drunken, flirty mind sobers instantly. Two bulges?

Two is not normal. I jerk away, giving him a wide-eyed look. Skarr just watches me, his eyes heavy-lidded and hungry.

I’m no longer playing, though. My brain has flipped to panic mode. He’s an alien.

Two bulges.

I scramble to my feet and run for the hills.

Chapter Eighteen

VIVI

When I open my eyes the next morning, I have a throbbing headache and a vague memory of the night before. I’m dimly aware that after leaving Skarr’s side, I raced back to camp, threw up near someone, and then crawled into a tent and slept against someone’s feet.

It’s shamefully embarrassing. I sit up, and I’m covered in sand, still wearing last night’s clothing. I really must have been sloshed. I put a hand to my forehead and wipe away more sand, and then grimace as more memories flood back.

Who did I puke on? It might have been Kyth. Then, I think I cried and belly-crawled to the tent. I look around, and I’m relieved that I’m not curled up with strangers but instead nestled against several of the other “clone” women I was rescued with. At least they’re familiar. I wipe at my mouth, the sour taste of fruit lingering at the back of my throat, and get to my feet. A rain of sand follows my movements, and I grimace.

I emerge from the tent to the sight of a lot of strangers. Everyone’s gathered around the fire again—well, not everyone, but quite a few people are—and someone’s handing out steaming bowls of warm breakfast. Everyone’s looking at me with a mixture of amusement and pity and I really want to just crawl away and hide and never come out again. Mortifying. Absolutely mortifying.

“Want breakfast?” a woman says, holding a bowl out to me.

Even though I’m hungry, I shake my head and shyly retreat a few steps. Taking the food means talking, and I just want to hide with my shame.

I kissed Skarr last night. Like really, really kissed. Like porn-levels kissed.

And it was fun.

And I groped him.

And he might have two dicks, but that might also be the alcohol talking.

“Oh no you don’t,” the woman says, smiling. She marches over to my side and puts an arm around my shoulders. “I know you’re shy, but you need food. And we don’t bite! Come sit for a bit and I promise we’ll leave you alone. You’re safe with us.”

She steers me back toward the fire, and I want to protest, but my stomach rumbles again, loud enough to be overheard. So much for that. I slump and let her guide me toward the group, though I feel wildly uncomfortable.

“My name is Callie,” she says, her voice cheerful. “My mate is M’tok. If you see the one with the big tall horns that looks like he’s about to start some shit? That’s him.” She says it with a touch of pride in her voice. “And my baby boy is M’cal but M’tok is watching him so I can take my turn making breakfast. You want some? I made it sweet, because I like it sweet.”

I thump into the seat she more or less drags me toward and give the others nearby an awkward smile. Callie—who has dark hair and a beautifully embroidered leather tunic covered with flowers—serves up a bowl, slaps a carved spoon into it, and then hands it to me. She gazes at me expectantly.

Right. I take a small mouthful. The texture is a little odd, a bit like a paste with a few larger chunks of what feel like seeds, but it’s sweet and reminds me of oatmeal, or maybe even grits. I nod, managing a smile. “’S good.”

“I know, right? Sweeter is better.” She gives an older black woman near the fire a smug look. “I tell them if they don’t like the way I make it, ellos no tienen que comerlo.”

“That isn’t the point of making the community breakfast,” the older woman says with a friendly roll of her eyes.

“It is when I make it.” Callie pulls out a bone cup and dips it into a second bag, then pauses. “You might not be ready for tea. You want water instead?”

I blink. Why wouldn’t I be ready for tea?

The older woman sees my expression and smiles. “The best caffeine kick here is from shrimp shells. We steep them and pick the shells out. We call it shrimp tea, but it takes some people some getting used to.”

My hungover stomach rebels at the thought of picking dead shrimp out of my drink. My nostrils flare, and the mouthful of paste in my mouth suddenly feels like glue.

“Uh oh, back up,” Callie says. “She’s gonna blow. No tea for you.”

“Breathe in slowly through your nose,” the older woman says, coaching me. “Deep breaths, and look up at the sky. You’re not gonna puke. I’m Gail, by the way.”

I take several deep breaths even as my mouth fills with saliva, but I manage not to vomit. When I can breathe easily again, I give Gail and Callie an awkward smile. “I’m Vivi…but I don’t really remember my real name.”

Gail just nods. “Well, we’ll call you Vivi unless you wanna change it. You can go by whatever you like. Just know that you’re among friends.”

There’s a warmth to Gail’s presence that relaxes me, and I manage to take another bite of food as I watch the women. Callie seems nice, too, though she could be my age and it seems strange to think of her as a mother. Then again, the khui wants me to make babies with Skarr, so I suppose it’s not that strange.

I think about last night and how I touched him and inwardly cringe at my actions. It’s going to be really hard to convince him I don’t want resonance now, after I grabbed his dick…dicks. Maybe I was so drunk I imagined two. I don’t know if I find the thought of a double-dicked lizardman exciting or terrifying.

Both, I decide. It’s both.

I finish my food quickly and Callie holds a hand out to take the bowl from me. “Thank you.”

She waves a hand at my words. “Think nothing of it. The tribe works together. We make breakfast at the main fire each morning and anyone is welcome to come eat. Some people like to make their own meals, but for those that don’t cook or are going hunting, we rotate chores so someone is always up very early and making breakfast. There’s usually a dinner on the communal fire, too.”

I bite my lip. “I don’t think I know how to cook.”

“You can learn,” she says with a shrug. “Or if not, you hunt. Or you work hides. Or something. Everyone figures out what they’re good at and contributes in some way.”

It sounds really nice but also a little terrifying. “What if we don’t contribute enough? What if someone feels like we’re not pulling our weight?”

“You’ll know,” Gail says. Her expression turns sympathetic. “But really, we haven’t had that problem before. Not everyone’s a hunter, but everyone helps out. There’s no checklist of chores you have to complete to get fed, though. Just do your best. We all know it’s hard, especially at first.”

“It’s a lot,” I confess in a small voice, the reality of my situation threatening to overwhelm again.

Gail moves over a seat to sit next to me, placing a comforting hand on my arm. “We know. But that’s why you have everyone else to lean on. We’ve been through the same thing.”

“Are you a clone, too?”

She grimaces. “Okay, most of the same thing. But I was snatched from Earth, just like you. I was held captive by aliens for a few years before I ended up here. The point is, no one comes here well-versed in everything they need to survive. We all have to learn this place.”

Callie nods, gesturing at herself with the wooden spoon. “You got questions? You come ask me. I’ll give it to you straight. About resonance, about babies, about whatever.”

“I already resonated,” I add in a timid voice.

“Oh, it was you?” Her brows go up. “To the lizard guy? I heard he was kinda…a lot.”

A mortified giggle escapes me. “That’s a good way of putting it.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, my mate was an absolute shit to me when we first resonated and I wanted to choke him.” She puts her hands in the air as if to shake an invisible throat. “But we figured each other out and we’re happy. So don’t give up hope. The khui usually knows what it’s doing. And you’ll probably make pretty babies. He has nice hair.”

He does have nice hair, I have to agree. But I don’t want to point out that I’m not sure about the babies part. That I’m holding in my pocket what Flor told me—that the healer can turn things off if we need to. I got the impression that it’s the nuclear option, so to speak, but it’s an option at least.

“She doesn’t want to think about resonance right now,” Gail says defensively. “If she did, she’d be with him instead of sleeping with the other ladies. Give her time to figure things out.”

Callie looks like she wants to say more. She frowns in our direction and then shrugs and turns back to stirring the food. “Some of the other ladies should be waking up soon.”

It is rather quiet. I sip my water, glancing over at Gail. She has a basket near her old seat that looks like it’s full of sewing. Another woman approaches, this one freckled with red hair, and she’s leading a few young boys and has a younger child in her arms. No men, though. In fact, as I look around at the scattered huts, I see a few with smoke coming from their tops, and a person or two standing out by the shore, but I don’t see the other gladiators that arrived with us.

I don’t see Skarr anywhere. I rub my chest, because the constant resonance thrum that’s been present since that fateful day is silent. It’s…odd and vaguely unpleasant, like my khui is punishing me for not doing the deed with him yet. “Where is …um, everyone?”

“Everyone, or just Skarr?” Callie asks.

“Hush,” Gail scolds her as my face burns. “She came out here for a meal, not an interrogation. And as for the others, I don’t know. Some of the women are sleeping in. Some have babies and husbands and get started later than others. It’s still pretty early, but you can see a few people are fishing over by the shore.” She points at the forms in the distance. “Everyone’s got things to do, even though there was a party last night.”

“A few of the men headed out super early,” Callie volunteers. “Hunting.” Her attention turns to the freckled woman. “Morning, Harlow. You want bowls for everyone?”

“Yes, please.” Harlow situates the children, and Callie grabs bowls and fills them.

Is that where Skarr went? Hunting? I know he loves to show off, but for some reason, I thought he’d make sure I was okay first. Why do I care? I ask myself that, and the only reason I can come up with is that he’s been protective of me. He handed me his leather cloak when it was obvious he needed it, all so I could cover up my injured hand.

We will not tell anyone, he’d reassured me. We are a team.

Maybe that’s why I feel vaguely bothered by his absence this morning. He talked about “team” until we arrived and now he’s gone and I’m here awkwardly trying to converse with two strangers.

“If you’re asking about Skarr,” Gail says in a low voice at my side. “He disappeared with Ashtar early this morning.”

I nod. I’m not sure what else to do. I appreciate the information, but it doesn’t solve anything for me. Why did Skarr run off? What’s he doing?

Why’d he leave my side when he knows how nervous I am about being here in the village? Is he mad I grabbed his dick—dicks?—and ran off?

“Oh, here’s Penny,” Callie announces as she dishes out food for the redhead and the children with her. “Have you two met?”

“Hi,” Penny says, sitting on the other side of me with a smile. Her arms are full with a little girl with delicate, pale blue skin, fat cheeks, and dark hair twisted into two knots atop her head. The child’s horns are tiny nubs and she sucks her thumb, even after Penny pulls her fist out of her mouth.

She’s adorable.

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Penny says to me, beaming. “I love that we’re getting more people! New blood is always welcome, you know? And more hands to help out around camp.”

“That’s Vivi,” Callie says, spooning more of the strange porridge out. “She’s the one that resonated.”

Inwardly, I cringe at Callie’s words. Is that what I’m going to be known as? The gal that resonated to Skarr?

Penny’s eyes go wide. “Oh, I’ve heard good things about you! That you’re already a whiz with fire and you pick things up quickly. If you want a mentor, I’m going to call dibs.”

“Hey,” Callie protests “What if I want dibs?”

“Dibs are whoever calls it first and I just did,” Penny tells her with a laugh. She pulls her daughter’s thumb out of her mouth again, and then winces. “Oh, my stomach is crap this morning. I think I need to go get my tea.”

And then she hands me her daughter, as if I’m not a stranger.

Penny puts the bowl of gruel into her daughter’s hands. “Miss Vivi’s going to help you eat, Brenna. You be good and Mommy will be right back.” She wrinkles her nose. “Two jifs. Gonna barf and get my tea and I’ll be back in a flash.”

Oh. I stare after her in surprise.

“Pregnant,” Gail explains.

Ah. I hold Brenna in my arms and while it doesn’t feel familiar—my memories don’t flood with babies, which might be a good thing—it’s also not unpleasant. She smells sweet and giggles at Gail as she eats a spoonful and Gail makes faces at her.

“I miss when my boy was that little,” Gail says wistfully. “Z’hren’s getting so big now. He went hunting with his papa this morning. I’ll introduce you to them later.”

Brenna solemnly dips her spoon into her food and tries to offer it to Gail.

“Thank you,” Gail says, and pretends to eat, which makes Brenna giggle.

Surreptitiously, I lean in and sniff Brenna’s baby pigtails. They’re soft and curly and dark and remind me of Skarr’s hair. I don’t know why I’m thinking of him, or why I’m still hurt that he left without saying goodbye. It’s not like I’ve agreed to be his mate. If we have sex, there will be babies.

Babies like Brenna, with cute fat cheeks and sweet-smelling pigtails.

Oh no. I wonder if the khui makes me baby-crazy, too. I’m alarmed at the thought and I want to ask, but I also don’t want it getting around camp. The last thing I want is for Skarr to find out that I’m asking about babies or how resonance makes you feel.

If there’s anything that needs asking about, it’s the plural-dick situation, and I don’t know how to ease into that conversation. Do all aliens have two dicks? Is Skarr an anomaly?

Where does that second dick go? I mean, there’s an obvious hole but…

Flustered at the thought, I automatically eat the spoon of food Brenna shoves at me, much to the child’s delight.

Chapter Nineteen

SKARR

I set off early in the morning with Ashtar, and he brings along the human Jason. I am not thrilled about the addition to our party, but he says Jason wishes to learn how to build a hut as well. I understand this. We are the smart ones, looking to impress females with our skills. Let the others sleep in while we gain the advantage.

I will need every advantage I can get in order to impress my Vivi.

So Ashtar shifts to a dragon and takes us several coves away, where we can pick through the tumble of rocks and look for large ones that will make up the base of the hut. When Ashtar is in his “battle form” he can haul extremely heavy things, and he will fly them back for us. We only have to pick out what we need and try to fit it together.

I walk the beach, looking for the best, the most perfect rocks, and I think about Vivi.

Last night has been playing through my mind, over and over again. How beautiful she was when she laughed, how her eyes sparkled in the moonlight. The drink loosened her inhibitions, making her relax and forget her worries. And she kissed me.

Kissing. I can definitely see the appeal of it, now that I have experienced it. Vivi knew what she was doing. She flung herself at me and planted her mouth on mine and then coaxed her tongue into my mouth, taking control. It was incredible, and realizing that she was kissing me only because she was drunk ruined the moment for me. I do not want her kisses when she is out of her mind with drink. I want her kisses because she wants me.

Then I tried to stop her, and everything went wrong.

Vivi gave me frisky touches, and it took everything I had to push them away. She reached for my cock and rubbed, and I immediately extruded both upper and lower cock, like an untouched boy.

Immediately, she ran.

It was humiliating.

I don’t even know what I did wrong. Were my cocks not large enough to please her and she realized I was failing her? Was it that I extruded right into her grasp even after I turned her away? I wish I knew the answer. While she has no memories of her name or where she comes from, I have no memories when it comes to touching females. I assume I am good at it, but doubt eats away at my confidence and leaves my mood sour.

I find a large slab of rock in a vaguely triangular shape and wave both Jason and Ashtar over. They examine the rocks and Jason makes a pleased sound as he hops down to another rocky outcrop right below. “We might have enough for both floors right here. Now we just need to piece them together like a jigsaw.”

“Jig-saw?” I ask. “What is this?”

“A puzzle,” Jason continues, still gazing down at the rock. “Though I suppose we could mortar any cracks with smaller stones and some sort of cement mixture. Did I tell you guys my dad was a builder? I remember a few things he taught me, and I think we can work with this.”

Ashtar turns to his battle form and pries the first large hunk of rock from the side of the beach while Jason and I stand nearby, watching it rain down sand and bits of shell.

I eye the human male. He is smaller than I am. Much smaller. His shoulders are not as broad, and he is only a bit taller than Vivi, who is among the tallest of the human females. Perhaps I am too well-equipped? Could that be it? Are my cocks too large to please her? “Jason, are human cocks puny?”

Jason sputters.

Ashtar immediately turns to human again, discarding the large slab of rock and letting it land with a heavy THUD on the beach. His face is wreathed in an amused grin. “Sorry, I’ve got to hear this. What’s this now?”

The male drakoni is naked, as he does not wear clothing when he shifts between forms. I have seen him naked before, but now that I am thinking about cock sizes, I study his closely. The size looks to be equitable to mine, and Ashtar is also larger than Jason. So I gesture at him. “You are large enough. I know I am large enough. I am curious if Jason’s cock is tiny. If all human males are under-equipped.”

“What the fuck, bro.” Jason puts his hands on his hips. “Are you asking me to pull my dick out and compare with you?”

I shrug and start to undo my belt. “I would not mind that.”

Jason puts his hands up. “No, no no no. I am not whipping it out just because you’re curious. I want to know what brought this on.”

This seems a fair enough question. “I was getting somewhere with my mate last night. She touched me and ran. I wonder if it was my size that intimidated her. That perhaps she is used to small human cocks instead of mine.”

“Ugh. You are full of yourself. Are you sure she didn’t run because you were talking?”

“I am certain. She does not mind my talking.” Well, much.

Jason rolls his eyes. “Then she’s the only one. You won’t shut up about how awesome you are and it gets on everyone’s nerves.”

It does? “Why would I be shy about my strength and cunning? It should be reassuring. The tribe will know I am a good, competent hunter. Not just competent, but the best.”

Ashtar says nothing, his hand pressed to his mouth. It looks like he is trying to hide a laugh or a grimace.

“If you’re so incredibly awesome, wouldn’t we already know this?” Jason demands. “Why shout it?”

“Because—”

“Children, children,” Ashtar finally speaks up, stepping forward toward us. “You sound like my boys right now. We’re all friends here.”

“I am merely trying to understand if it is the size of my cocks that is the problem,” I point out.

Jason blinks. “I’m sorry, did you say cocks?”

“I did.”

“I think we found out the issue.” Jason smirks. “You really have two cocks?”

“Of course. I am a ssethri splice.” I fail to see where this is strange.

Jason points at Ashtar then at himself. “He doesn’t have two cocks. I don’t have two cocks.”

“He is drakoni. You are human.” I shake my head again. “As I said, I am ssethri.”

“But your mate is human,” Ashtar reminds me. “And she knows nothing of other races of people in this galaxy. Not like we do.”

Is this so? Is that why Vivi panicked? Because I had one more cock than she expected? It is not the size of it or my reaction to her? “I cannot make one of my cocks vanish. When they extrude, they both extrude at once.”

“Extrude?” Jason’s brows furrow.

Ashtar uncurls a finger in an almost bouncy motion, demonstrating.

“Oh shit, extrude.” Jason’s eyes widen. “Well, now I want to see this shit after all. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

So now he wants to see my cock? Bah. “I am not going to extrude for you. Only for my female.” I pause, considering. “So you think it was the number of cocks that made her panic?”

“A thousand percent,” Jason agrees.

I do not know what to do about that. I cannot change how I am built. It is a depressing thought, that Vivi might not like my body because of how it was created.

“Shall we get back to work?” Ashtar asks. “Pick out the pieces for the hut’s flooring and let’s get going before it gets too late in the day.”