Текст книги "Incandescent "
Автор книги: River Savage
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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 17 страниц)
“Sy, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Kadence races over to where they stand. I follow behind, knowing shit is about to go down.
“Stay out of it, Kadence. This is between Holly and me.” Sy’s eyes drill into Holly, not releasing his grip.
“Like hell, Sy, let her go,” she snaps back, moving in to break the connection he has on her friend.
My arms come around her waist, pulling her to me.
“Nix, let me go. Tell Sy to let her go.” She fights my hold.
“Cool it, woman. Let them work it out.” I pull her back a step
“Nix, she’s frightened.”
“She’s fine. She's just playin’ hard to get,” I explain close to her ear. Her fight slows as she watches their exchange. Sy pulls Holly into him; his head lowers to speak something in her ear. Her eyes narrow, but you can see something moving behind them before they soften. Understanding and acceptance wash over her as her rigid body softens in his embrace.
Kadence relaxes her body as she notices what I see. Taking her hand, I walk her back to our now empty table, giving Holly and Sy some time. Most of the guests continue back as they were, or make their way outside.
“What was that about?”
“That was Sy puttin’ his foot down. The woman has been pushin’ his buttons for the last three months. Seems like Sy has had enough.”
“I don’t blame him, with the way she looks tonight,” Kadence smiles. Looking over at the new Holly, I have to agree. Her dress is just as revealing as Kadence’s. “She looks amazing,” she continues. “I can’t believe she cut all her hair off. She looks hot.”
“Not as hot as you,” I say, watching her. She rolls her eyes, but I can see the light behind them. “Except when we get home, this dress will be ripped off. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your little game earlier.” I lean into her. “That little stunt cost you a spankin’, and fair warnin’, it’s not gonna be gentle. My balls are feelin’ neglected, and if I have to sit here and watch you creatin’ hard-on’s in your wake, I’m gonna get my payback.”
“Oh, please, Jesse had to pick up the cake. I didn’t play you. Besides, you love it. You love them knowing that I’m yours,” she tells me, looking out at everyone around us. She’s right, but I’m not going to tell her that.
“I love you, and I can sure as fuck tell you I do not like seein’ other men rake their eyes over you.” I hold her gaze. Done with waiting, done with holding it back, I lay it out for her in the middle of my club. I can see the struggle play out over her face. The fight her head is having with her heart. It’s been the same way from the start of the relationship, her body wanting one thing, her head telling her another. The woman is a pain in my ass, and as much as I love that she pushes me to work harder and to be better, right about now, it’s starting to piss me off. Wanting to get through to her, I do what I’ve always done to get a response. I challenge her.
“You still falling in lust, Kadence? Or are you willing to admit you already fell?
Chapter Thirty-One
Kadence
“...are you willing to admit you already fell?”
I roll the question around my head, trying to stall. Of course, I love the man, who wouldn’t? However, saying the words have been harder than I first thought. I’ve guarded my heart for such a long time I didn’t want to give it away again so freely, but Nix being Nix, not only stole it, he possesses it. I don’t know what my reservations are; there have been plenty of opportunities to tell him how I felt over the last few weeks. Every night while he's held me and helped me heal, I've wanted to blurt it out. However, every time I’ve felt the words begin to roll off my tongue, I held back, feeling awkward and out of my element. I know he’s wanted to say it, holding on to thinking I don’t want to hear it, but that’s not the case. It's not that I don’t want to feel loved. I do. I crave his love as much as I crave him, so what’s holding me back?
Nothing, my head declares, my heart agreeing. My feelings for Nix are more than love. He's more than words. It’s a fierce and consuming power that demands everything I have to give. I’ve fought him and he’s won. I've played him and he’s won. I’ve surrendered to him, shed my shields, bared my soul, and he took it, owned me. Completely peeled me open, left me stripped, and not once did he leave me alone. I love this man devastatingly, irrevocably, incandescently and absolutely more than I’ve ever loved anyone.
The three words on the tip of my tongue spill out, holding back no reservations.
“I love you, Nix.”
“You love me?” he asks, shocked I just admitted to him what he already knew. Love is not words. Love is feeling and love is doing. He just needed the words. Nix’s knowing smirk pushes me to answer what he’s known all along. I nod, affirming what he needs.
“Words, babe, I need the words.”
“Yes, Nix, I. Love. You.” I roll my eyes at another thing he has bossed out of me.
“Woman, don’t sass me right before I’m about to ask you to be my wife.”
The words don’t register, or the fact that he stands from his chair, takes my hand and pulls me up. He kisses me deeply and passionately before going down on one knee in front of me, in front of everyone. The small box he pulls out of his back pocket frightens me; the platinum diamond ring sparkling in front of me renders me speechless.
He wouldn’t?
Nothing registers.
Nothing breaks through
Until he speaks.
“I feel like I need to stitch those words into my heart with a needle and thread, Kadence,” he exhales, his emerald eyes anchoring me to my spot. “Kadence, you set me on fire, woman. You walked into my life all attitude and spunk and I thought I had to have you just once. Then you kneed me in the balls and I fell. I fell hard.” Everyone around us laughs at hearing how he came to fall for me, but my eyes stay firmly on him. “I’ve been everythin’ I want to be in this life, but one thing... your husband. Marry me.”
The music around us has stopped. Looking around, I notice our friends and family have gathered looking on, waiting for my reply. It’s like I’m stuck on pause, watching a show. My heart is beating out of rhythm as I take in his proposal.
“I only just told you I loved you, Nix. Don’t you think this is moving too fast?” I try to ask quietly.
“Babe.”
“What? It’s true!”
“Jesus Christ,” he curses under his breath.
Shit, now I feel bad.
He looks up at me still down on one knee. “You love me. Why wait? I’m not givin’ you a chance to change your mind.”
My body is screaming at me to accept, my mind telling my mouth to speak the word ‘yes,' but I don’t know how to process, with everyone waiting.
“Come on, Kadence. Don’t leave me hangin’ here. The only time I’ve ever gotten down on my knee and you’re makin’ me beg? Do I need to fuck you into a yes again?”
There it is, his cocky attitude, his Nix-way of getting anything he wants, by pushing me. He doesn’t even care he just used fuck in his marriage proposal in front of both our parents. I’m mortified, but only a little.
“Yes. Yes, I will marry you,” I laugh, smacking him when he stands from his kneeling position. He takes my mouth in a desperate kiss, his hands cupping my face. Pulling back, he whispers soft kisses over my face, telling me how desperately he loves me. Reaching for my hand, he places the most amazing ring I’ve ever seen down my finger. I admire the platinum gold, cushion cut, halo diamond ring, before he abruptly pulls me behind him as our family and friends cheer on.
“Where are we going?” I ask panicked, trying to hold him back from our descent out of the club.
“To get married,” he responds as if he just told me we’re going to the bar.
“What? Nix, wait,” I yell, confused. Flash backs of our first date come to mind, making me giggle.
“No waitin’. That shit took longer than I thought. I need that piece of paper sayin’ you're my wife, now!”
“Nix!”
“What?” He stops pulling me along,
“I love you, Nix, but this is crazy.”
“Nothin’ crazy about it.”
“Nix, we are not getting married tonight!”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because, because...” I can’t seem to find the words why this would be a bad idea. Maybe this is crazy and it would be amazing, but I want to be able to celebrate with my family and our friends
“You want to,” he accuses. “You want nothin’ more than for me to take you to Vegas right now and claim you as my wife.” I can’t help but agree. I do, but I also want the whole thing, the dress, my mom and dad. I want what I deserve, what we both deserve.
“I do, Nix, but as much as the madness of all that thrills me, I want my mom and dad there, and Z. I need Z there. I want to do it right.” I watch as understanding falls over him, accepting my need for my family to be there.
“I am crazy for you. Do you feel that?” His hand engulfs mine, moving it over his heart.
“Yeah, I feel it,” I say, laughing. “I felt it when you asked me to marry you just because I told you that I loved you,” I joke, knowing just how crazy he is.
“I’ve had that ring in my pocket for the last nine weeks, the day you came home from the hospital."
“You lie.”
“Never.”
“Why? Why would you do that?” I ask confused.
“‘Cause, Kadence, the moment I realized I couldn’t live without you, I also realized I never wanted anyone to have that feelin’, knowin’ how much Kadence Turner made their lives pure. I bought the ring, so the moment you finally realized you loved me, I could make you mine, on the spot. You have been the one for me since the moment you opened that mouth and gave me attitude, and I’m not ever lettin’ that go.”
“I love you too, Nix. I love you more than I thought I could love somebody.” The words fall easily off my tongue.
“Kadence, nobody will ever love you the way I do.”
He’s right. No one has and no one will. I believe it with all my heart, and all my soul.
“Come, let's go see our parents. I'm sure your dad might feel the need to have a few words with me.” He pulls me back to our family and friends
“Did you ask for permission?” I ask, hoping that he did. I know my dad would have like that.
“Babe.”
“Don’t babe me.”
“Babe,” he repeats.
“What kind of babe is that anyway? Like ‘Babe, I’m Nix Knight. I don’t have to ask for anybody’s permission, or ‘Babe, of course I did,’” I ask, more annoyed that any babe works.
“Neither, it was a ‘Babe, give me your sexy, smartass lips, kiss your fiancé and let our parents congratulate us.’”
I don’t argue. It won't get me anywhere, so I do as I’m told, like a good girl; ‘cause there is a time and place to be a bad girl, and the day you get engaged is not one of those days.
***
“Hold on to the headboard and don’t let go.”
“Nix,” I begin before his hand comes down on my ass again.
“Don’t argue either, or this ends now.” I crawl up the bed and hold onto the headboard.
“I’ve been waitin’ nine weeks to sink myself back in here,” he purrs as he runs his finger through my wetness. “I’m not gonna be gentle,” he promises, and the thought alone has me shaking.
It’s a few hours after my party. After Nix proposed to me, we stayed late celebrating with our family and friends. My mom and dad couldn’t be happier. The boys were excited that they get a bachelor party, and Z, he can’t wait to officially call himself my stepson. Holly was happy but I could tell she was uncomfortable being in back at the clubhouse with Sy not letting her out of his sight.
“Kadence, are you listenin’ to me?” Nix growls from behind me. I know his face is between my legs as I can feel his hot, breath on my most sensitive flesh.
“Yes, Nix, I’m listening.”
“What did I say then?”
“That it’s not going to be gentle.”
“After that?” he continues to hum directly into my pussy.
“Umm.”
“So you weren’t listenin’?” he pushes, still teasing me.
“Well, it’s hard to concentrate when I’m on all fours and your face is only inches from my pussy.” My ass gets another slap in response, this time harder.
“Pay attention,” he scolds while rubbing my ass to soothe the sting. I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips as his fingers glide through my wetness. His hand comes down again, harder, more forceful. My grip on the headboard tightens. I feel like I could explode just knowing his cock is so close.
“Tonight, I’m gonna redden this ass until it’s glowin’ and you are not to let go, not for anything. Do you understand me?” I nod, my breath caught as his tongue swipes at my center.
“Words,” he growls, his lips now touching. “Give me words, Kadence.”
“Goddamn it, Nix. Just spank me, fuck me, or lick me out. I don’t care. Just do something,” I snap, my patience wearing thin.
“What’s the matter, Kadence? It’s all fun and games when you tease me, but not when I do the same?” His palm comes down fast this time. I yell, the sound vibrating around the room. Nix’s tongue comes out lashing hard at my clit. I sink back against his face, trying to get more friction. The struggle is real, the buildup so amazing. My hips move in time as his tongue brings me to the crest.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Nix!” I scream out as the orgasm takes me, my insides explode.
“Nothin’ better than making you scream with my mouth. You taste delicious.” He kisses my ass, the wetness of his lips left behind after each peck.
“Can I let go of the headboard?” I ask, not even attempting to release it. The asshole will punish me more.
“No. I’m nowhere near done with you.” I roll my eyes. If he thinks this is punishment, I’ll make sure I tease him more often.
“Now that you’re gonna be my wife, Kadence, we have a few things we need to sort out.”
“Like?”
“Like if you ever put my cock in your mouth, you better hope you finish what you start. Do you understand me?
“Yes, Dad.”
“Kadence,” he warns again.
“What are you going to do, Nix? Spank me?” I smile. Fuck I love teasing this man. Strong fingers come to my hips digging in as he enters me in one forceful movement.
“Fuck,’ I scream as the intrusion I wasn’t prepared for fills me.
“Jesus,” he grasps as he draws out and slowly enters me again, this time slowly. “Tell me again,” Nix demands as he leans forward, his front close to my back.
“I love your cock, Nix.” I hold back the laugh as he growls behind me.
“No.” He thrusts forward.
“I love you spanking me?” I try again, holding in the moan.
“Kadence.” His fingers come to my hair, fisting and pulling it back.
“I love you,” I pant and his movements become frenzied.
“Again.”
“I love you, you bossy annoying asshole. Now shut up and fuck me hard,” I demand, over talking about it. I need Nix and his cock.
“I swear, woman, I love you enough to know I‘m not spanking you hard enough.” He swats my ass again as he continues pounding into me.
And he’s right. It wasn’t hard enough; another spanking wouldn’t hurt anyone, would it?
***
“Addison is leaving town,” he says as we lay in bed recovering from our first time of being together in nine weeks.
“What. Why?” I ask, instantly on alert.
“Don’t know why. Didn’t ask. But know by the end of the month, she’s out.”
“Shit,” I sigh, knowing that Z will be heartbroken.
“It’s okay. He doesn’t need her,” he assures me, reading my thoughts.
“He does, Nix. He needs his mother,” I argue, even if their relationship is strained.
“He has you and that’s all he needs.” He gathers me further into him, knowing I’m about to turn to face him. He keeps me tucked in, nowhere to move.
“Don’t even bother arguing. He loves you. You are all he needs.” His breath is at my ear.
“I don’t know how to be a mom, Nix.”
“Well, start knowin’ it. We are havin’ kids as soon as I can get you knocked up.”
“Ummm, no, Nix.”
“Umm, yes, Kadence.”
“Oh, my gosh, you are a pain in my ass,” I huff out, annoyed that I can’t argue with him.
“No, Kadence, the pain is from my hand comin’ down on it earlier.” He laughs at his stupid joke.
“Agh,” I continue to pout. The damn man makes me crazy.
His hand comes to my stomach, his fingers lightly grazing the skin. “Can’t wait to see this belly, so beautiful, so big.” He rolls me back on to my back. “Nothing would make me happier to know that we created a child together, Kadence. I want that. I want that for Z. Don’t deny that for us,” he whispers, and this time I cave. Why does he have to be so sweet?
“I’ll have to make an appointment with the specialist; the scarring might be an issue,” I tell him. I don’t know how much of an issue, but the skin might not be able to stretch. His finger comes down and traces the scar, his face morphing into anger.
“I hate they did this. That he did this.” He moves down my body to kiss the ugliness. I hate when he does this, but there is no stopping him. “Gunner’s dead,” he continues, ignoring my discomfort at him kissing me there. “Nothing will make up for what they did and I can’t ever take that back, but know that they won’t ever hurt you again,” he promises. And I know he’s telling me the truth.
“I know, Nix, and I don’t hold that anger anymore.” I look down at him. “It’s over. Zane is dead. Gunner is dead. T and his boys helped save me, and you still have the truce.” I tell him everything he already knows. “Let’s be happy,” I say, for once at peace with my life.
“I am happy, and I’ll never stop making sure you’re happy, baby,” he tells me, and I know he will. He’s Nix Knight: the man does what he says he’s going to do.
Epilogue
Nix
I roll up on my bike feeling a nervous energy stir through me.
“You ready for this?” Beau asks beside me. The fucker looks ridiculous in his nut-hugging slacks, wearing his cut and riding his bike.
“How the fuck we end up here?” I ask, laughing as the rest of the boys pull up next to us. The whole crew’s wearing suits, their cuts replacing the jacket.
“You’re the fucker who fell in love, asshole,” Sy grumbles beside me.
“Yeah, well, the suit wasn’t my fuckin’ idea,” I tell them, but they just shake their head knowing I’d do anything for her.
“You right, boss man?” Jesse asks, watching me quietly.
“Yep. Wanted this fucking months ago,” I tell them, knowing it’s true. I didn’t care how I got here or how long it took me, I wanted this day.
“You might have wanted this day, but you look like you’re about to puke,” Beau laughs beside me.
He’s right. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. I’m Nix Knight. I don’t get nervous. But fuck. I am. Today is one of the most important days of my life. Today, I make Kadence my wife.
Kadence
“Keep still or I won’t be able to get it right.” Holly swats my hand away, while still holding the curling iron close to my scalp.
“Don’t burn me, Holly,” I complain.
“I won’t if you stop moving,” she argues back.
“I can’t help it. I'm nervous. I feel like I could spend the day on the toilet.” Her insane laughter fills the room, and the sound heals a little of the pain I hold for her in losing her child. It’s been four months since that night, and even though the same funny, crazy Holly is standing in front of me, doing my hair for my wedding day, I feel like she’s still missing a little piece. I’ve searched and searched for that small piece, but no matter how far I travel, how deep I dig, I can’t find it. I’ve come to realize it’s not something I can give her. It’s something she can only find herself. It’s just coming to terms with that.
A knock at the door has me jumping in my chair.
“Keep it together, Kadence.” Holly laughs at how nervous I am. My dad walks in looking handsome in his suit. He wasn’t impressed when mom and I picked it out for him, but I could see behind his eyes that he would be secretly proud to wear it for his daughter's wedding day.
“You’re late,” he croaks, quickly turning away from me.
“Are you crying, Mr. Turner?” Holly calls out.
I smile at her jab, but I feel slightly sorry for my dad. I've never seen him cry. “Are you okay, Dad?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just got something in my eye,” he explains as Holly snorts behind me.
“We are almost ready, Daddy,” I tell him, using the name I know that he loves to hear.
“Done,” Holly declares, moving away from me. I stand from the chair and walk to look into the full-length mirror. Shit. I draw in a breath. The floor-length ivory gown sits snug against my body, a small band of crystals cinching my waist in. The sweetheart neckline is covered in a sheen of beaded lace, cut off in a capped sleeve. My dark hair is woven up into a low updo, leaving soft curls falling around my face. The ivory-netted headpiece that Holly just secured in covers half my face, the crisscross pattern sitting two inches over my left eye.
“I love it, Holly.” I turn to look at her and catch the last look of pain cross her face. “Are you okay?” I ask, walking to her.
“I’m okay, Kadence.” She wipes the lone tear away. “You look breathtaking.” She pulls me in for a short hug and then steps back smiling at me. I know she’s happy for me.
“I love you, Holly.”
“I love you, too. Okay, let me just grab your bouquet and mine, and let's get this shindig started.” She leaves through the connecting door, giving Dad and me some privacy.
“Are you okay, Daddy?” I look over at him, still trying to keep his tears at bay.
“Fuck no! My baby girl’s getting married, and by God, you’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.” He walks up to me, engulfing me in his strong embrace.
“Dad, don’t make me cry. I'll mess up my makeup."
“Don’t even care. You’ll still be beautiful.” I fight the urge to tell him he’s just like Nix. I'm sure he’s already aware of that. “Jesus, Kadence, you’re breakin' my heart here. I feel like I’m losing a piece of me.” A sneaky tear escapes, but this time I don’t even care.
“You’re not, Dad. You’ll still be my dad. You will always have a special place in my life,” I promise.
“Good, just make sure you tell that to your husband when he tries to take all your time,” he sniffs back his emotion.
“Daddy, I promise. I will always have time for you.” He leans down and kisses my cheek, squeezing my hand. I never thought of it like that. Here I am freaking out about giving my life to another, while my parents feel like they're losing a part of theirs.
“Oh, God, I leave you for two minutes, Mr. Turner, and you made her cry?” Holly comes back carrying my bouquet made up of purple roses. “Come here. We’re already late.” She fusses about, fixing the damage my dad did in two sentences. God, I’m not going to last with Nix’s vows.
“Okay, let's do this,” she says after finishing up the touches.
My dad takes my hand and leads me out the door to the chapel. The chapel was Nix’s idea, to marry in the same one as his parents did. I loved the idea so much; I agreed instantly, a special part of them both with us on our day.
I love his dad. Since meeting in the hospital, he’s been coming back into town every other weekend and staying with us. Nix and Z love it, but I know Red loves it more. The boys have even had a few weekends out at the lake house. I know when Nix lost his mom things were tough between the two of them, but looking at them now, you would never know. You can tell how much Nix loves having his dad in town and has even hinted at wanting him to move back, to be closer to Z. I can’t blame him. Now that I have moved in with Nix and Z, my parents have been coming over more often. I’d love to say it’s because they miss me so much, but it’s all to do with Z. They’ve fallen in love with him just as much as I have. Their grandson, they tell everyone. Z loves them just as much as they do him, even choosing to go stay with them while Nix and I are away on our honeymoon.
“I just want you to know, Kadence, your mom and I couldn't be more proud of you,” my dad whispers, close to my ear. “Be happy. You deserve it.” He kisses my cheek.
“I am,” the truth rolls off my tongue. I have never been happier in my life.
We step over the threshold of the aisle, and I watch Holly, in her pale lavender floor-length dress, walk down the aisle. Sy’s eyes follow her as she walks slowly to the front. I don’t know how much longer she’s going to hide her feelings for him. We all see it, but for some reason they both live in their own delusional world, thinking we don’t. I worry about them when he finds out the truth, but until then I have to just be there for her.
The soft music ends when Holly reaches her spot, the sounds of an acoustic guitar now coming to life, filling the small chapel. Our family and friends come to their feet, but I only have eyes for Nix.
Standing in a white dress shirt, black pants and his cuts, he holds the hand of Z, both smiling over at me. It didn’t take much to convince him to wear a suit. He agreed, but the cuts stayed. Jesse, Brooks, Sy, and Beau also followed his lead, wearing matching attire. There isn’t much the boys wouldn’t do for me. I know they only do it for Nix—keeping me happy keeps him happy—but I like to think they love me enough to grant me one small wish, even if they do try to push me for a reaction. Having them standing there on our special day, on their best behavior, was my only wish.
After the bachelor and bachelorette party, I wouldn’t put it past them to try something. Canceling the male stripper Holly ordered for me, and replacing him with a female was the start of a very eventful night. Waking up to the messages that Nix was in jail the next day was the last thing I wanted to hear hung-over. Nix was more pissed at his shaved eyebrows and shaved balls than him ending up in jail. I was beyond mad, telling them all if they pulled any funny business at the wedding, there would be hell to pay. Nix made them promise no shit during the ceremony, but I know the party is a free-for-all. I'll be cleaning up the clubhouse for days. My new role as old lady is already a daunting task, but one I’ll take on with an open mind.
I quickly glance up, my eyes locking onto Nix’s. He’s watching me, taking every inch of me in. All my nerves and worries are gone by just one look. No words spoken, no smile given, the only encouragement I need is staring back at me with his emerald green eyes. I draw in an exhilarating breath; these men are my life, my family and my world.
I take my first step to them, knowing I’m walking toward my ultimate happiness, unwavering love and the most beautiful thing of all, my amazing family.
