Текст книги "How to Fall"

Автор книги: Rebecca Brooks

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“So I’m a chocolate chunky bit?” She frowned.

“Exactly.”

She grabbed his passport out of his hand.

“Hey, I didn’t say this goes both ways!” he cried, but she had already found his picture, too.

She burst out laughing so loudly that the whole row in front of them turned around to see what was going on.

“You have no hair!” she exclaimed.

“Let me see that,” Chris demanded. She was sitting directly in front of Julia and the passport was passed over before Blake could stop them.

“Come on, not fair.”

“Blake, you didn’t tell us you had a buzz cut,” Chris said, passing the photo to Jamie beside her.

“I cut it off right before leaving. Thankfully it’s grown back.”

“Somehow we all missed that stage,” Chris said, snatching the picture from Jamie and passing it up to Lukas. “How’d you keep the cameras off of you then?”

Blake cringed. “Solitary confinement,” he shot back. Of course Chris and Jamie had known who he was—they lived in Melbourne, not under a rock. Blake had been nervous when he first heard Aussie accents coming into the hostel, and then pleasantly relieved to find out that they were happy to treat him like a normal person and not like the current celebrity gossip course, laid out on a platter for everyone to feast. Obviously they knew about Kelley and Liam, too, but they’d been good about keeping things discreet. It was pretty clear, knowing what the tabloids had said, that he was there to get away.

He willed them to hold on to some of that discretion now. The last thing he needed was for Julia to be curious about why there’d be cameras around and start fishing for more. He tried to change the subject—look at the roadside vendors lined up on the side of the street!—but it was no use. Julia shifted in the cramped space to face him.

“You’re actually famous in Australia?” she said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Blake’s stomach clenched. Chris and Jamie had no idea how much he wanted Julia to see him as a regular person and not pursue—or avoid—him because of who he was back home. Nor could they guess how desperately he was trying to hide his humiliation at the hands of his ex. It was just his luck that the two of them burst out laughing as the van inched forward in the line.

“Famous?” Jamie said, shaking his head. “Everyone who owns a television knows who he is.”

Julia’s eyes widened. “And you’re just hanging out in Brazil at some hostel with the rest of us?”

Blake’s mind was racing, trying to find a way out. But the only way to play this was to stay cool. “What can I say?” he said with a shrug. “I’m just a regular bloke.”

“Who decided to shave his head and come to South America.”

“I started in Central, but yeah.”

“Because…?” Julia started, and Blake caught Chris and Jamie exchanging glances he hoped Julia didn’t see.

“Because why not?” Blake said carefully, and at last a border official stepped up to the side of the van to stamp their passports, saving him from further embarrassment.

But it wasn’t over, because Chris turned around to face them. “Seriously, all you foreigners should get your hands on a copy of The Everlastings. No one is doing drama in Oz like this guy.”

“He told me it was boring,” Julia said, talking about Blake like he wasn’t even there.

Chris shook her head. “He’s being modest. You should know not to take anything he says too seriously.”

“I’ll remember that,” Julia said, and Blake looked at her in alarm.

“Tell me there’s more coming,” Jamie said. “You’re going back for the next season, aren’t you? You can’t leave Anderson to untangle the storyline with Celia and Reese—it’s just not possible.”

Anderson was the writer under Blake, the guy he’d hired when they were signed for a third season and things got too crazy for Blake to handle by himself. Now they were between shootings, and he was supposed to be drumming up scripts for the next two seasons they’d signed for and going through all the scenarios the writers under him were working on.

But instead he was here, in the back of a cramped van, edging past the border into Argentina and then bouncing through the countryside, full of eggs and toast and coffee and juice and the warm touch of a smart, funny, beautiful American by his side.

It was agony to sit there listening to talk about the show and all he’d left behind. But there were worse places to be.

And worse ways to be reminded of Kelley and Liam and the mess he still had to sort out with them on and off the screen. In retrospect, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to cast his girlfriend as Celia and his best friend as Reese and make a slow and steady attraction build between them over each episode. By this point, the characters were so enmeshed in the storyline that he couldn’t cut one or both of them out. Much as he wanted to.

Chris, though, was shooting daggers at her boyfriend. Jamie looked like he wanted to eat his shoe for letting slip his curiosity about Celia and her love interest, Reese. It wasn’t Jamie’s fault, though. Blake was going to have to learn how to deal with Kelley and Liam professionally, at least while she and her new boyfriend were both on the show. If he could get used to talking about the characters, then maybe he’d finally be able to face going back.

“Don’t worry,” he reassured Jamie—both about the plotline and about the slip he’d made in bringing up Kelley and Liam’s characters. “I’ve still got some tricks up my sleeve.”

Jamie hit the back of the seat in eagerness as the van pulled up to the entrance. “I knew it! We’ll definitely be home for the premier.”

“We will?” Chris turned to face him, but whatever they were disagreeing about now was lost in the murmur of their voice and the diesel cough of the van lurching ahead.

I wonder if I will, Blake thought, counting up how long he could spend traveling before his real life beckoned him back.

Julia had been silent throughout the exchange about the show, looking out the window even though Blake knew she was taking in the whole thing.

“Right, you’re just a regular guy who breaks his schedule to go to a tourist site he’s already seen,” she whispered as everyone shuffled out of the van, counting up bills for the driver.

He tried not to flush. He could plan and plan forever, mapping a route, typing a schedule, sketching his future like he was diagramming a scene, everyone blocked in the right place, each action a link in a clear and obvious chain of cause and effect.

But then life happened, and so did people with their messy surprises. It used to feel like each new surprise was a dagger to the heart. Until there was brush on his shoulder, long hair lifting in the breeze, and now none of his plans seemed clear.

“Sure,” he said with a grin. “Why not?”

“So you really wanted to come back to the falls today?” She was looking at him skeptically, like she was trying to read him but not sure what she’d found.

He grabbed her hand. “Come on,” he said, helping her out of the van. “Aren’t there some times you have to say yes?”

Chapter Six

Julia could hear the falls long before she could see them. A roaring, pulsing hiss that swelled like the ocean but without the pause between waves. It was so loud it seemed alive, an animal threading its way out of the jungle to devour them whole. There was nothing for them to do but walk into its grasp, mesmerized by the power it held.

They started off in a dense green forest, deafened by the cicadas chirping in the thick, humid air. The path followed along a snaking river, and they could hear the noise swelling up ahead but still had no sense of what was to come. The current below was swift but beside them the water ran flat and calm. The landscape held onto its secrets until the last possible moment, when suddenly the path opened up and the river dropped away.

Coming upon the break in the stream, it looked like a vortex had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, a hole in the water where everything that once seemed certain plummeted away. They were on top of the world, looking down on the waterfall as it dropped over the edge.

Julia stepped back, feeling the rush to her head.

“Whoa there,” Blake exhaled, steadying her with his palm on her back. “I didn’t think to ask—are you afraid of heights?”

Julia shook her head. “I never thought so. I just—” She looked up at him, searching for the words, but all she could say was, “Wow.”

“I know,” he agreed, and it was nice to know there was no need to try to put into words what both of them were thinking.

“Doesn’t it make you want to jump?” she blurted out suddenly.

“What?” Blake turned to her in alarm.

“Not like that,” she clarified. “It’s just… If you could fall and fall forever, and never land.” If you could feel the thrill of release, the water and wind, the never-ending weightlessness as every last responsibility disappeared.

She would never do it, of course. She wasn’t a daredevil—she barely even rode her bike fast. But to stand there with her feet firmly on land and think about the possibilities made her mind spin.

“All that freedom,” Blake said almost to himself as he looked out over the falls, and Julia knew that somewhere inside him, he understood what she meant. “It certainly is tempting.”

She couldn’t help it. She slipped her hand in his and squeezed his fingers tight. If she’d ever said that to Danny, he would have freaked, thinking she was being morbid or depressed or any of the “bad” states they were forever keeping an eye out for in Liz.

But Blake was different. He could travel and dream and imagine other things. Julia wasn’t a writer—she dealt with the elegance of numbers and the way they flowed according to a series of rules, not unlike each drop of water on its path toward the sea. But there was a poetry to the numbers that she could get lost in, when she was able to let herself go. She imagined Blake felt the same about words.

Julia was conscious of not wanting to broadcast some kind of “togetherness” when they weren’t a couple at all, but the beauty and surprise had made her reach for him without thinking. She felt a buzzing inside her that had nothing to do with the current rushing past or the thrill of gravity when he squeezed her hand and didn’t let go.

She could have spent hours standing in that one spot, but there was so much more to see and the rest of the group was moving ahead. They kept walking as the vortex opened into a mouth and the mouth yawned into a canyon.

Below was nothing but blinding, obliterating spray, a thick blanket of white streaked with an enormous rainbow arcing across the falls. It hovered in the mist as the water surged over the edge of the canyon and battered the rocks below. Blake wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her in front of him as a group of Japanese tourists shuffled past.

“Devil’s Throat,” he said in her ear, nibbling her own throat playfully. He was close but still had to shout to be heard over the deafening roar.

“What a view.” She was completely captivated by the sight.

“I’ll say,” he sighed, but he wasn’t looking at the falls. He’d taken the chance to rest his chin on her shoulder, trying to sneak a peek down her dress. She wriggled playfully out of his grasp and he laughed, catching up to where she was walking down the path to get close to the edge.

“You’ve already been here,” she said, and suddenly she felt disappointed that she was the only one of them experiencing something so incredible for the first time. She’d thought the same thing last night, that this was all old news to him. It wasn’t special for him anymore. She was embarrassed about what she’d said about falling. Now he’d think she was twisted or weird.

But he surprised her by shaking his head. “I don’t think this is the kind of place you could ever get tired of.” And looking out at the view, it was true. She didn’t think it was possible to take it all in, no matter how many times you came. “Besides,” he added, “I was here on a morning when the rest of them slept in. The company is better this time.”

She couldn’t help smiling as she slid her hand in his again. Maybe there was something to the view, or to her—or both—that was worth a second look. Maybe she could let the day happen without worrying about where it went.

The whole stretch of the river had two hundred and seventy-five separate waterfalls, and she could see the smaller cascades cutting through the endless green. When she closed her eyes and felt the spray in the air as it hung in the muggy December heat, heard the drum beat of the falls pounding relentlessly in her ears, she tried to imagine the landscape without any people around, just water rushing through time. When she looked down at all the falls from their perch at the top of the tallest, widest part, the water seemed timeless, almost solid. A whole mass constantly churning.

But if she squinted and focused and let her eyes shift, she could almost make out the individual drops in flight. She’d follow one as it hurtled down until she could no longer see it anymore, and then start back up at the top. There was green moss growing on the shiny rock edges, constantly battered by the water. Its whole purpose was to take a beating, to lend color to the impressive sight.

“Doesn’t it make you feel small?” Blake asked, breaking the silence as they gazed at the surf.

Julia nodded, smiling to herself. It was exactly what she’d been thinking, too. Small and insignificant, but also desperately, wondrously alive.

It was hard to remember that they were still in the world. Streams of tourists buzzed around them, the rise and fall of voices and snap of cameras and phones adding its own cacophony to the sound of the surge. Blake lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

“Should we catch up to them?” Julia asked. Blake looked ahead to where Chris and Jamie were taking pictures against a railing overlooking the edge of the falls. Jamie waved for them to come over and Blake sighed.

“I guess so,” he said, and they weaved their way through the crowds until they rejoined everyone else, busy taking photographs and marveling at the sights. Lukas, laden with camera bags, kept switching lenses as he tried to capture the perfect shot.

“So you guys want to walk around?” Jamie was asking as they walked up.

“I want to get on that river,” Chris said.

“Your wish is my command,” Lukas declared as he produced a brochure from his back pocket.

Chris squealed in astonishment as she flipped through. “Boat tours! Come on, Jamie, let’s do this.” She passed the brochure to him.

“Are you sure you want to—”

“They give you ponchos and you go right up under the fall,” Lukas interrupted.

“Awesome,” Chris exhaled, her eyes shining with excitement. “You want to do it?”

“I’m game if you are,” Lukas said with a grin. “I have to keep my equipment dry, but can you imagine the shots?”

“So it’s settled!” Chris said.

Blake looked over at Julia, and she shrugged. A boat tour sounded fine to her, and she was happy doing whatever everyone else wanted to do.

But Blake leaned over and whispered in her ear, his voice drowned out by the roar of the falls, “If you’d rather…”

She knew exactly what he was saying. His arm was around her in a gesture that seemed not only affectionate but possessive, and she moved closer to feel the heat of his body against her bare skin. She didn’t have to say anything—just a blush she couldn’t control, and then the slightest nod.

When Blake looked in her eyes, it was like they didn’t need to speak to know what the other was thinking. If she was going to get one more day before her fantasy ended, why shouldn’t she take advantage of all that she could?

“The boat ride is great,” Blake said to everyone. “You guys should definitely do it. I’ve already been on one, though, so I think Julia and I will go for a hike. But if you haven’t done it, you should. Getting up under the falls is terrific.”

“Terrifically terrifying?” Jamie asked with a queasy grin.

“You’ll be fine!” Blake clapped him on the back. “Chris will protect you.”

“Unless I push you overboard.” She stuck out her tongue.

“Not if I get to you first.”

Chris laughed. Jamie was such a nice guy that nothing he said could sound mean. They had the kind of relationship where they joked about everything, Julia realized. She wondered if that ever made it hard to know when one of them was being serious.

“You’re sure you don’t want to come, Julia?” Chris asked, eyeing both of them like she was perfectly capable of taking the hint but simply chose not to.

“I get horribly seasick,” Julia said quickly, the lie popping effortlessly out. She loved boats and had plenty of experience sailing on Lake Michigan. But time alone with Blake sounded much more appealing. Somehow she was certain that no matter where they were along the endless stretch of cascades, the view would still be spectacular. Not to mention the time together.

She didn’t care today if everyone else at the hostel knew what was going on between them—she was never going to see them again. And wasn’t that the whole point? She was a completely different person out here, assured that none of her actions would follow her back to her real life.

“I guess that’s not a good idea then,” Chris said reluctantly, as though sad for Julia that she’d be missing out. Julia smiled like it was a real shame but reassured everyone that she was fine with staying on land. For a second she was afraid that Jamie would elect to join them and their whole escape plan would be ruined, but at the end of the day he wasn’t going to take off without Chris.

It took a little bit of acting from both her and Blake to convince everyone that it was fine to leave them behind. By the time they were heading off on their own, they were buckled over laughing at the performance that had gotten them away.

“You really get seasick?” he asked, concerned.

Julia laughed and shook her head. “Could you think of anything else that would have convinced Chris not to drag me on that boat?”

“Quick thinking,” he said. “Poor Jamie should have thought of that first. You’re sure you don’t want to go?”

Julia might have surprised herself by not waiting for him to make the first move, but she already knew that this Julia, the one who bought tickets to Brazil and traveled by herself and climbed out of bed to fuck gorgeous Australians in a pool was hardly shy about getting her way. She pressed him back against the railing and kissed him as the water from the thundering falls coated them in mist.

“Pretty sure,” she said, pulling away. But his hands clasped her arms tightly, holding her close, preventing her from stepping back. His kiss was rough and fierce and made her feel like she was hurtling over the edge of the cliff, nothing but spray and water and the sweet, terrifying fall.

For a moment, lost in his touch, she knew how it felt to not worry about the crash.

But there were too many people around. Kids ran screaming as parents snapped pictures and groups pressed in heated throngs against the railings over the falls.

“Come on, let’s get away from here,” Blake said in her ear. “Some place quiet. I want you alone.”

Julia felt a shudder rise up her body and pulse between her legs. How could one little word do this to her? Alone certainly sounded different when it was just her on a plane, on a bus, heading for the unknown. Alone with Blake was turning out to be an entirely different story.

He took her hand and led her away from the masses at the top of the falls, following a trail that snaked away from the impressive Garganta do Diablo, the Devil’s Throat, and pushed toward the hundreds of smaller waterfalls tumbling over the cliffs.

As soon as they were away from the center the crowds started to thin. The path began winding downhill, cutting under the cliffs to the water below. The shade from the trees offered relief from the beating sun, and they stopped to enjoy the newfound quiet. Julia took a drink from Blake’s water bottle and after she handed it back to him she could only watch, transfixed, as he tilted his head back and drank, Adam’s apple moving with each glug. The stubble on his chin was blond and light brown, and she wanted to feel it against her cheek, her breasts. The thought rose from somewhere unbidden: the scratch of it against her thigh.

He caught her shameless appraisal and grinned. “Happy?” he asked, planting a kiss on her nose.

“This is better,” she admitted, her hands resting on his chest. “Did you come down here before?”

“No, but doesn’t it seem like there are all these trails that keep going?” Blake looked to where the path turned and disappeared.

“Let’s find out.” Julia bound ahead of him, delighted to have uncovered something he hadn’t experienced before. When she turned off the paved, main path and crept into a smaller dirt opening, she finally slowed down. “What do you think is down here?” she asked as she peeked through the overgrown foliage.

“Looks like another path, but not one that’s really used. Most people probably stick to the paved route.”

“If they even come here. Do you see anyone else around?”

Blake flashed her a grin that could only be described as naughty. “Not a soul,” he breathed, running a finger across her bare collarbone and hooking it around the strap to her dress.

She stood there, brazenly letting him caress her in the middle of the empty path. “Then I guess we should go exploring,” she said pointedly, well aware of how different she sounded from the girl who’d been in the cab with him last night. He tugged on the front of her dress to snag the view that had eluded him before. Her cleavage rose and fell with her breath. Yes, it definitely seemed like he wanted to explore.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” He raised an eyebrow, and Julia turned and started down the dirt path, pushing the overgrown brush out of the way with her hands.

The paved route wound farther down to the river but the path stayed level. It hugged the edge of the cliff tightly, turning sharply in as the sun sent dappled streaks of light over the leaves. All of a sudden it came to an end, tangled in vines.

“That was disappointing,” Julia said as she slowed to a stop. She’d been hoping for something exciting—another winding path, an unexplored part of the falls, something unique to discover. “I guess there’s a reason some paths are more used than others.” She turned to head back to the main, paved route down.

But Blake was busy pulling apart the vines, trying to peer through. “What do you think is through there?”

“Trees?”

“No wait, come here.”

“You think the path continues?”

Julia peered through the opening he’d made. Blake stood behind her and pressed his body against hers. She could feel the muscles of his chest and stomach pressed against her back, his breath warm in the shadowy air rich with the smell of dirt and green and clear running water all around. She used her hands to open the vines more.

“Watch out for the rocks,” she pointed, and carefully stepped through.

He was right—the path did continue, and although it was by no means cleared or well used, it wasn’t impossible to walk along. She thought he was going to kiss her—to take her right then and there—but instead he grabbed her wrist and pulled her along, saying he wanted to see what was ahead.

She knew what he was looking for. After they’d passed through the opening they’d made, the sound of water had grown. And now it was unmistakable: the steady rush that said they were heading for one of the falls. Since hundreds of smaller waterfalls cascaded over these cliffs, it wasn’t surprising that at some point a path cutting along the cliff would lead directly toward one.

It was around the next bend that the narrow path opened and Julia stopped dead in her tracks. The path probably used to be for tourists, but it had since been closed down and fallen into disrepair. With so many tourists visiting the falls, it was impossible to keep up a winding network of trails that got this close to the water. The trail ended in a flat, round opening where the ground was tamped down and mostly still cleared, bits of green struggling through the soil in nothing but shade.

Along one side of the path was the cliff wall, slick and damp and dark. The other side was open to the river below, but it wasn’t really open at all. It was covered with a thick, undulating curtain, a constant stream of water cascading down. They were behind the waterfall, watching it from the inside. Compared to the water rushing through the Devil’s Throat, it was nothing, only six or eight feet wide. But still it rushed over them, surrounding them in the pulse of its incessant drive.

“This is beautiful,” Julia exclaimed, her voice echoing against the cliff wall. It was almost like being in a cave, but with the light still hitting them through the sheet of water. A dilapidated wooden railing ran around part of the edge of the opening, the wood soggy and rotting with much of it long crumbled down. Green vines with broad, leafy fans snaked up over the edge, taking over the enclosure year by year.

“I can’t believe we found this,” Blake said.

“Do you think anyone is coming?” She peered back down the path.

“Not a chance. People go to the Devil’s Throat, and then walk around the upper paths or take a boat ride like everyone else. I don’t think they’re coming down here.”

“It’s a shame to miss this.” She couldn’t get over the light dancing over her forearms, the glitter and pulse of the waterfall delicate and deadly at the same time. All that power from nothing but water accumulating into sheer force barreling down.

She could feel his eyes on her as she explored the area, running her fingers along the dirt wall of the cliff, the dark shiny rocks of the edge. Everything was rich and moist and vibrant to her touch. At the fence she felt the pieces of wet wood disintegrate in her hand from the spray that kissed her face more urgently the closer she got.

She extended her hand, as close as she dared to come to the edge. Maybe Blake was right and she was afraid of heights. All she knew was that she couldn’t trust herself if temptation got too close.

The tips of her fingers grazed the sheet of water and she gasped. The cold slap was almost enough to force her hand down. Dangerous. Exhilarating. Water splashed her dress, coating her hair in a fine mist that cooled down the heat building within her whenever she caught Blake’s hungry eyes.

She felt, rather than heard, his body sidling up behind her. He put his hand under the waterfall and ran his wet fingers across her mouth, kissing the spray that clung to her lashes and beaded on her lips. She collapsed against him, collapsed into him, like nothing was holding her up and nothing could keep her away. Her nipples strained through the thin material of her wet sundress, and she could feel his eyes taking in every curve she knew the clinging material hardly concealed.

When he pressed himself to her, she could feel how hard he was, pushing against the fly of his cargo shorts. She thought about how he had rubbed himself against her bathing suit in the pool and was amazed at how the slightest graze against her thigh threw her into such a frenzy. Melted her. Made her his.

“So here we are,” he whispered in her ear, running a hand through her hair, down her back, brushing her ass under her dress that now felt so flimsy, like nothing on her skin.

“Mmm, so we are.” She put her hands in his pockets and pulled his hips against hers to better feel that tantalizing bulge.

“We’re under a waterfall. There’s no one around. Our comrades won’t be off the river for another hour at least. Whatever do you think we should do?”

“I guess I can think of a few things,” she said sweetly, tracing lazy circles with her finger down his chest.

He grabbed her tighter. “Such as?”

She undid the button at the top of his shorts, not breaking eye contact with him. Watching him pant for her touch.

“Such as anything you had in mind.”

But he wouldn’t let her off that easily. “Tell me what you want,” he breathed as he ran a thumb over her breasts, making her nipples stand up and take notice.

It was hard to know what to say to a request like that. The whole idea of saying what she wanted was totally foreign to Julia. It took so much to get herself to say something, like she was still afraid that even now, when they were both so obviously aroused, he might laugh or say she’d misunderstood or he wasn’t interested and wished he’d taken that bus to Buenos Aires instead.

But of course that was ridiculous. She took a deep breath and made the words come out. “I want you,” she admitted, shy to be put on the spot even though they’d already done it all before.

“You want me what?” he asked, feigning ignorance.

She rolled her eyes.

“Say it,” he urged her. Soft and somehow sweet, despite what he was asking.

She chewed on the corner of her lip, trying to think of something good. She remembered what he’d said about how she shouldn’t do that because it drew his attention to her mouth and then she knew what to say. “I want you to kiss me.”

He brushed his lips softly against her cheek.

She shook her head. “On the mouth.”

The touch of his lips to hers was light as a feather, a tickle and nothing more.

“Harder,” she whispered, the word catching in her throat.

“What?” He cupped a hand to his ear. “The waterfall, I can’t quite hear you.”

“Harder,” she begged louder, and it was such a strange thing to give commands at the same time that she was completely at his mercy.

She got her wish, though. He grabbed her around the waist and crushed his lips to hers. Immediately Julia opened her mouth, seeking his tongue before he had a chance to pull away. The kiss was so much sweeter, so much hotter, so much more enticing because of how she’d had to build to it.

She had always been well behaved, always done what she was told. She never rebelled against her parents or experimented in college or got in any kind of trouble. Liz had done enough for both of them, and it sort of lost its appeal. Julia was the one who picked up the pieces, not the one who fell apart.

She’d had one serious, significant relationship with the man who was her best friend’s brother. They just kind of fell in together, more because they were both there with Liz during her hardest times than because they had any true spark. He’d been kind and sweet and safe.