Текст книги "Rip"

Автор книги: Rachel Van Dyken

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

“Ah but your poking always makes me feel better, doc.” She winked.

And I again fought the urge to puke all over his perfect floors.

“All the girls do.” He winked right back.

Was I the only one not winking? Not flirting?

He licked his lips, stabbing her arm with the needle and slowly injecting whatever the hell he’d told me to grab. He quickly pulled the needle out once the medicine was gone.

She slumped back, her legs and mouth falling open as if she’d just lost the desire to rein it in. Her eyes rolled up and back, and with a snort or maybe a laugh ,she lay back.

Nikolai placed the vial onto the table, pulled out an IV and inserted it into her wrist, taping it in place.

I was still trying to figure out what he was doing when his head snapped up. “What are you still doing here?”

“I—”

“Leave.” He dismissed me with a wave of his hand.

With one final look at the drugged girl, I put my hand on the door knob and twisted.

He told me never to look back.

But I was too curious not to make that attempt.

And my curiosity was only made worse when I saw the reflection of the scalpel in his hand through the window of the door.

“Maya.” His tone was gruff. “Do your job.”

I didn’t look back but the music, the same violin music that had driven me insane, got louder, as if he needed the noise to block out whatever he was doing.

Not my business, not my problem.

I quickly made my way back into the receptionist area and sat down.

The J screen saver was on the computer. I clicked it on.

Internet!

No way

Almost too easy.

“I wouldn’t,” a chipper female voice said. “Then again, I always liked to push his buttons too.”

I glanced up from the screen and came face to face with the most gorgeous elderly lady I’d ever seen in my entire life.

“Can I, uh, help you?”

“No.” Her smile was warm. “But I think I can help you—you’re my new replacement.”

“Oh.”

“One of thirty he’s had over the last two years.” Her shoulders shook with amusement. “Man can’t keep a woman to save his life.” And then she burst out laughing as if it was the funniest thing in the world. “And you’d think with those looks, that brain, that body.” She fanned herself and peeked down the hall. “Still at it, huh?”

“Um, first of the day. Who did you say you were?”

“A friend.” She smiled and held out her hand. “You can call me Jaclyn, or just Jac for short.”

“Jac.” I repeated shaking her soft hand. The woman had more diamonds decorating her fingers than what seemed possible. Each of them sparkled as if telling their own story of love and riches. “So, I’m the thirtieth intern huh?”

“Is that what he told you?”

“Not exactly.”

“Intern.” She chuckled. “Has a nice ring to it. Has he texted you yet?”

“No, but—”

“He will, he always does. Only had to use the black box once.” She nodded, and her eyes fell. “But that was a long, long time ago.”

“Um—”

“Oh!” She clapped her hands together, making her entire outfit shake. Wait, was she wearing bells or something? I stood and looked over the counter. The woman couldn’t be any taller than five-foot-one. She had red cowboy boots with bells on the tassels and skinny jeans matched with a white sweater. What should have looked stupid looked classy and stylish, like she’d just walked out of Urban Outfitters. Huh. “Why don’t I show you the schedule?”

“Alright, but Nikolai didn’t say—”

“Nikolai?” Her lips pressed together. “That’s allowed then?”

“What is?”

“His first name.”

“Apparently.”

“You must be special.” She smiled brighter. “I’m the only one who calls him by that… then again I’m also the only one who’s ever seen the man behind the mask.”

“So there’s two of them?” I joked.

“Oh, yes.” She nodded seriously. “Never forget how important it is to separate the two. Here he’s a god.”

“As opposed to?”

“Anywhere else…” She placed her hand on mine and squeezed. “He’s just a man. Never forget that, sweetheart.”

With that, she released my hand and waved at her eyes as if she was going to burst into tears at any moment.

“Goodness, my emotions get me these days. Now, let’s look at that schedule, and I’ll try to sort out any questions you may have before that elusive text comes through.”

“And then what?”

“What dear?”

“After the text?”

“Oh, you bring in the next girl.”

“Are they…” I swallowed. “Prostitutes?”

“Labels really do nothing for me.” She shrugged again and pulled out a chair plopping right next to me. “If you’re really good, tomorrow morning I’ll bring you a latte, what’s your favorite?”

“Anything with caffeine.”

She paused, her eyes getting misty again. “I do hope you last, dear.”

“And the others? They quit?”

Her eyes fell to the keyboard as she pulled a hanky from her purse and blew her nose. “Now, the schedule…”

Stay inside, Police Chief Lopez advises. He believes that the Pier killer is preying on women who are prone to leave work late or who work alone. Stay inside, until the security from your building is able to escort you out—only if you are working late.—The Seattle Tribune

INCREDIBLE… HOW HABITUAL MY ACTIVITIES HAD become. I felt nothing. Even when the blood dripped down her arm, I could only glance at the red pigment and wonder what type it was.

Would it be O Negative?

AB positive?

Would taking that blood bring me any closer to a cure? Or would darkness finally consume me—making it so that my habit, my life choices, ended up killing me like they killed so many that I studied?

Her face was void of emotion.

I imagined she had a few more weeks tops.

And then she would be dead like the rest of them. I had known something was wrong with me long before medical school… long before working on the cadavers or losing my first patient in the OR.

I wiped my hands on the towel and injected flumazenil back into her system. Natalia jerked awake.

“All done?”

“Yes.” I offered a smile. “The sores should disappear within a few hours, do try to be careful out there tonight.”

“Always am.” Her lower lip trembled just enough for me to notice. “Hey um doc?”

“Yes Natalia?”

“How long?”

“Well…” I leaned forward. “That’s entirely up to you. You’ve known that since you started coming to the clinic.”

Her eyes wavered as she chewed on her lower lip. “I still haven’t decided yet, what I want to do.”

“When the time comes, I’ll ask you again, only you can make that choice, Natalia.”

With a quick nod, she hopped off the table and made her way to the door. “The new girl…” Her hand hovered above the door knob. “She’s pretty.”

I sighed. “All the nurses I hire are pretty.”

“Right, but she isn’t a nurse, she isn’t one of us.”

I was quiet for a minute. Leave it to Natalia to figure out that Maya was different. She was beautiful like the rest, just more… pure and innocent in ways Natalia would never understand.

“No.” I didn’t owe her any more of an answer or explanation.

“I hope she stays that way.” Natalia’s voice was hardly a whisper. “I really do.”

“Me too.” I hoped it more than I could possibly describe. It was why I put certain terms in my contract. Why she was off limits. Why I was off limits to her. I was trying to decide her life for her, form an ironclad path for her to walk through so she made it through alive.

So she made it to her next birthday without becoming exactly what her father would want for her.

Because regardless of Maya not remembering.

She was still a liability, one he kept around for leverage on my behalf.

“Have a good evening, Natalia.”

She left.

And the room instantly felt cold.

I wondered how long I could keep it up—before the darkness of my reality consumed me. After all, I wasn’t really living for anything except trying to leave a better mark on the world. A legacy. That’s what I wanted.

And after knowing what ran through my veins?

It was about damn time someone in our family tried for something different.

Blood had always stained our hands.

I’d still die with it on mine—but hopefully it wouldn’t be in vain.

An enemy will agree, but a friend will argue—Russian Proverb

HE TEXTED EXACTLY NINETY MINUTES LATER; his instructions were clear.

N: Bring in the next one, I’ll be finished in five.

I felt my eyebrows furrow in confusion. What next one? Jac had been showing me how to do the scheduling for the past hour and a half, not that any of that made sense. There were names and contact numbers, but no last names, and no private information about their conditions.

Just first names and numbers.

Though some names had little red X’s next to them. Jac said that once the patient had three X’s that I was to delete them from the system. I asked if every patient eventually got three X’s and she changed the subject and started talking about Christmas decorations.

“Told you he’d text.” Jac nodded. “Always does.”

“So…” I showed her my phone. “…where do I get the next girl?”

She paused, her lips pressing together in a smile. “Well aren’t you just adorable.”

“Yeah,” I croaked. I’d never been called adorable in my life. Not by my parents who ignored me or the boyfriends who hated me—once my father got ahold of them.

I’d been called sexy.

Cute.

Pretty—at least a handful of times.

But never adorable. Adorable meant innocence, and I wasn’t innocent, I was tainted.

“The girls will always be waiting outside the door.” She pointed down the hall. “When he texts you to bring in the next girl, you simply open the door, bring her down the hall and leave when he tells you.”

“Okay.” I licked my dry lips and rose from my seat. “I guess I’ll be right back then.”

“Remember,” Jac called after me, “don’t ask questions.”

I wasn’t sure why it was so important for her to remind me of that one little rule, so I shrugged her off and sighed as I made my way down the hall.

The next girl waiting had a pixie haircut and shoved a cigarette between her teeth before looking me up and down and smirking. “You’re new.”

“Yup,” I breathed.

“He screw you yet?” Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

“I’m his employee.”

“They all are.” She rolled her eyes, and shoved past me. “I know the way.”

I followed behind her because what choice did I have? When she stopped at the room and peered in, her face softened.

The door opened.

Nikolai stepped out. “Anastasia.” He grinned. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now¸” She said in a breathy sigh.

I rolled my eyes.

“Something bothering you?” Nikolai snapped.

Crap. He saw me.

“No.” I cleared my throat. “Just tired.”

His eyes narrowed. “That will be all, Maya.”

“Right.” I clenched my fists and walked past them, this time I didn’t look back, I didn’t want to know. Something was very wrong with what he was doing, I just didn’t know what. And it wasn’t like he had some great paper trail for me to follow on his stupid computer. All I had to go by were names, and a contact number.

When I walked back into the main lobby Jac was putting her coat back on and checking her cell phone. “It will get better,” she said without looking up from her phone. “It always does.”

“Right.” I grit my teeth, wondering if I should take the chance and tell her about the contract, ask her if the other girls had to sign them, or even just give a lame “Help” in her direction and see if she would take pity on me and rescue me from his evil clutches.

“I promise.” Jac leaned over the counter, placing her manicured hands on the table. “It seems overwhelming for now, but this is such a great opportunity.”

“Is it?” I parroted.

“Of course!” Her eyes twinkled. “Just think of the job opportunities you’ll receive after you work with Nikolai for a few months.”

“A year,” I corrected.

She froze. “Pardon?”

Had I said something wrong? I tucked a strand of escaped hair behind my ear and shrugged. “My contract says a year.”

Her mouth opened then shut. When she spoke, her voice seemed a little strained. “A year is quite a long time.”

“Tell me about it.” I forced a smile. “Is um, that not normal?”

“Normal.” She shrugged. “What is normal?” Pulling away from the counter she dipped her head in my direction. “I’ll see you tomorrow Maya.”

“Okay.” The door shut behind her blanketing me back into silence as I sat there wondering what in the heck I was going to do.

My text message alert went off.

N : Done.

M : Great.

What else did he want me to say? Congratulations?

N : I’ll need your help cleaning up.

M : Okay…

N : Must I spell it out for you? Maya. Come.

Muttering a curse I pushed the phone away from my hand, stood, and stomped my way down the hall.

I tugged open the door and froze when I saw him tossing away bloody gloves.

“Maya,” Nikolai said without turning around. “Make yourself useful and replace the bedding.”

I stuck my tongue out at his back and went to the bed, pulling the sheets from their place trying not to focus on the splatters of blood I saw on them. Why would there be blood in the first place?

No questions. Right.

“Curious, aren’t you?” His smooth voice penetrated my thoughts. “I can practically hear your mind working. Careful or you’ll hurt yourself with all your… theories.”

“Theories?” I shrugged and tossed the sheets into the nearby hamper that said laundry. “Why would I have any theories? You’re a world renowned doctor, you see patients at night, patients who look like prostitutes, and you have absolutely no paper trail on your computer. Now, what do you think I’m going to do with that?”

“I’m not sure…” His hand moved to my shoulder, and he spun me around to face him. “What are you going to do with that information?”

“Go to the police,” I blurted.

His amused smile made me want to stab him. “And say what? I’m being paid half a million a month to do a job I signed up for? Oh, and by the way, my father’s Alexander Petrov, perhaps you have his file on hand?”

“You’re a bastard,” I hissed.

“And you’re…” He angled a speculative look on me. “Interesting.”

“Whatever you’re doing, it can’t be legal.”

“Ah, so the daughter of a Russian mafia boss has…. morals?” His eyes were mocking as he whispered in a gruff voice, “Such a pity.”

“Did you need anything else?”

“Tonight?” He licked his lips. “Yes, I believe I do.”

He moved too fast for me to prepare myself. One minute he was towering over me, the next he was pushing me against the wall, his mouth inches from mine.

“I own you.”

“So you’ve said,” I could barely squeeze the words out, my throat was so dry and tight.

“I can do whatever I want with you… and nobody would hear you scream, Maya, nobody would even care. It would be prudent of you, to remember who holds your precious life in their hands. What I do here is none of your damn business. Do the job I pay you an abhorrent amount of money for, and when this is all finished, I’ll write you a glowing recommendation.”

“Will that be before or after you force me to sleep with you like the rest of the girls you had work for you?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

His eyes flashed, “If I wanted you, you’d know.”

That was it. That one sentence crippled me. Made me feel not only small but rejected in such a vile way I wanted to cry.

“Oh, and Maya?” His head tilted. “Just in case you can’t read between the lines there is nothing about you… that I want.”

Tears stung my eyes as I looked down at the white floor. My throat felt thick. He was an ass! Why did I care what he thought? The loneliness of my situation was choking.

“Will that be all, Nikolai?” I met his eyes again.

“Yes.” He stepped back. “Now, turn off the lights and meet me at the front.”

I scurried out of the room, wiping the stray tears away, and snatched my belongings from the table.

He followed me two minutes later.

Once the door was locked, his hand was on my back, guiding me to the “safe” Audi, and before I knew it we were driving in silence back to the office building, back to my condo, back to my horrible existence where I didn’t really exist, nor live for myself but for a complete psycho stranger with a god complex.

So strange, to pass by people laughing and walking home from work, to notice the little things like lights flickering in front of buildings, people holding hands, the stupid Starbucks guy handing out free samples. All of those things were symbols of freedom—something I didn’t have and wouldn’t have for an entire year.

What had I done wrong? In all of my years of living, I had to have done something horrible to my father to gain this type of punishment.

Maybe that was it.

I’d simply existed. And that had been enough.

I had no more tears left. Only despair as he pulled the car into the garage and turned off the engine.

I assumed he’d accompany me to my room.

He did.

The ride in the elevator was like absolute torture. I stood on one end, he stood on the other. The music was happily chirping in my ears, and I wished the damn thing would just plummet to the earth and let me die.

When we finally reached my condo, I expected him to leave. But he didn’t, instead, he opened the door, led me in, and went to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of wine.

What was his angle?

And why wouldn’t he just leave me in peace?

“I assume you met Jac?” He didn’t make eye contact, didn’t acknowledge my existence, simply pulled out two glasses and began pouring.

“She’s sweet…. beautiful.”

He stopped mid pour, his hand shaking a bit before he set the wine bottle down and braced himself against the counter. “She’s irreplaceable.”

“I’ll… try.” It was all I had. “To do my best.”

“They all try.” He sneered. “How about you succeed where they failed?”

“How about you tell me more about your high expectations so I don’t fail!” I yelled back.

His face broke out into a smile. “Ah, there you are.”

“What?” I threw my hands up in exasperation. “I’ve been here the whole time.”

“You need spirit to last… Women… when they lose their spirit, they lose everything.”

“You don’t make sense,” I grumbled and grabbed the glass of wine he held out to me.

Being that close to him again made me want to both strangle him and pull him even closer. He smelled so good, and even though his countenance was cold, his body heat was practically leaping at me.

Nikolai shrugged. “I don’t have to make sense… to you.”

“Answers to no one.” I lifted my glass into the air. “Got it.”

“Don’t lose the fight, Maya, even when the war seems daunting… simply keep fighting, let the fight mold you, don’t let it break you. Too many people give up in the face of defeat. I need someone willing to push through that.”

“I have…” I swallowed and looked away. “For my entire life.”

“I know,” he whispered. “Which is why I need you.”

It was the first time I’d heard those words from his lips. I almost dropped my glass onto the floor. Had he just said he needed me? After all the arrogance, all the bullying, taunting, bossing me around?

He took a sip of wine and smiled that blinding smile that had my heart fluttering way too fast. “Don’t look so shocked.”

“I am,” I said pointedly. “Shocked you need anything.”

He shrugged.

Apparently the conversation was closed.

“Eat something,” he urged, setting his wine glass down on the granite table. “My offices, tomorrow morning, eight o’clock, remember it’s the thirty-second floor.”

“Right.”

“Wear black.”

I gritted my teeth. “Not like you gave me lots of choices in that closet anyways.”

His smile was back full force. “You get choices when you prove I can trust you with them.”

“You don’t think I’m trustworthy?”

“Your father wasn’t.”

“I’m not my father.”

He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “Prove it.”

And that was the end of the conversation.

He walked to the door and slammed it behind him, leaving me more confused than before, which was pretty damn confused, all things considered. I decided it wasn’t worth the headache—he wasn’t worth the headache. I had exactly three hundred and sixty-four more days of hell then I could go back to normal… back to a time when I didn’t know Nikolai Blazik.

Back to a time when I actually knew myself.

The Pier Killer is believed to be looking during the day, attacking at dusk.—The Seattle Tribune

THE WOMAN HAD NO IDEA WHAT she was doing. It would be so easy to break her—again.

I needed her strong.

And I gave her rules in order to keep things within my control. The worst part was that she saw me as the monster when really in this scenario? I was as close to a white knight as she was going to get.

The elevator dipped with a groan then opened on the floor just below Maya’s. When the doors slid apart, the scent of bleach burned my nostrils. It was a familiar smell, one that held memories, heartache, shame—so many emotions that I found myself wanting to hold my breath and close my eyes—but it hadn’t worked all those times before, it certainly wouldn’t work now.

The walk to my door felt lonely.

And being lonely wasn’t a feeling I was accustomed to. I’d always had my work, I’d had my goals, one of which was most likely damning me to hell at this very moment, but I’d like to think she was one I’d accomplished beautifully.

I’d saved her.

She just wasn’t aware that her prison—was her freedom.

I opened the door leading into my penthouse apartment and walked numbly into the kitchen.

A glass of already poured Canadian whiskey was sitting in a glass on the table with the newspaper next to it.

I had to hand it to her—Jac never missed an evening, even if she was out doing what she did best—she always took care of me.

I never wanted for anything where she was concerned.

Yet a part of me wondered if she used that as a way to keep herself firmly attached to my life—where there was no room for any other female¸ regardless of how harmless she might be.

“What exactly… are you doing, Nikolai?”

Jac’s voice dripped with disapproval.

“Drinking,” I answered in a clipped tone. “And you?”

“The same.” She chuckled. “Join me.”

I knew where she would be. Sitting at the piano, drink in hand, eyes blurry with emotion.

Grabbing my glass, I made my way over to her and sat quietly, my fingers grazing the ivory keys just briefly before reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze. “Hard evening?”

The hand I wasn’t holding lifted the glass to her lips—it shook violently. “When are they not hard?”

“True.”

“I’m not sure about her.”

And there it was.

“You don’t have to be sure about her. What she does for me has nothing to do with you and the family.”

“You like her.” Jac licked her ruby red lips and set her drink down. “That makes her different.”

“I’m protecting her. There’s a difference.”

“And when protecting turns into something more?” She tilted her head and gave a slight smirk, the way the moonlight reflected across her features cast a pale glow, aging her, reminding me yet again how frail she really was. “What then?”

“Then I set her free.”

Jac leaned her head back and laughed, and the sound chilled me to the bone. “When have you ever been good at setting your favorite things free? Remember that bird when you were small? You named him Fred and refused to let him out of his cage, even when we told you it was safe to let him fly around the house.”

I shook my head at the memory. I’d been so fearful he’d fly away that my fear eventually killed him—or so I believed. He’d never fully matured and died at a young age because of it.

“She isn’t a bird,” I finally whispered. “She’s a person.”

“Oh.” Jac patted my hand. “So now you actually see people as real people, not your own person version of Operation?”

Something was off with Jac tonight. I narrowed my eyes. “That’s enough.”

Her smile fell, replaced by what looked like anger, before she shrugged and stood. “We’re both tired, and the night still isn’t finished for me I’m afraid.”

“Perhaps it should be.” I never told Jac what to do, it wasn’t my place, but I knew her lifestyle wore on her—the secret of it wore on us both.

“I have a legacy to continue,” she said in a distant voice. “Perhaps you should start thinking about how you’ll continue yours… once I’m gone.”

“You’re not dying.” I rolled my eyes and kissed her hand.

“Not yet.” She pulled her hand back and reached for her jacket. “But I will be gone and soon. What will you do then, Nikolai?”

The question had my heart ramming against my chest. I didn’t know. I still hadn’t made my choice. I still wasn’t sure how I could fulfill my family’s legacy while still keeping my own  sanity intact. It seemed I was the sole heir that saw a difference between right and wrong, which was really sick when I thought about it. If I was the moral compass, what hope did my family really have to begin with? I shuddered inwardly.

“The choice will happen.” Jac gave a knowing nod. “And sooner than you think. Maybe a distraction is good.” She pointed toward the ceiling. “But something tells me she’s hands-off, am I right?”

“They always are.” I hired nursing students for three months tops, paid them, swore them to secrecy, and let them go. Maya wasn’t a nursing student, and I hadn’t hired her for the reasons I’d hired all the others. It was simply convenient that I could kill two birds with one stone.

“But she’s different, because you wish it wasn’t the case.”

“Goodnight, Jac.” I ignored her barb even though it still managed to sneak in between my ribs, hitting its mark quite well.

Dismissed, she gave a quick nod and walked toward the door. “Careful Nikolai, I’ve never lost you to something as silly as emotion before—and your colors, they’re showing.”

“I bleed like everyone else.”

Jac held open the door and called back. “More’s the pity.”

Once silence once again reigned in my apartment, I moved to my couch and looked around my apartment.

It was decorated in deep purples and blacks. I had a fascination with dark colors, maybe because it was the only thing that brought me comfort, knowing that the outside was just as dark as my insides.

It was the only peace I seemed to find.

White reminded me of what I didn’t have.

Purity, innocence, and a bright-eyed Russian princess who’d stop at nothing to tempt me beyond my abilities.

Her room was white for a reason.

It was a reminder.

Thou shall not touch.

Because if I did—she wouldn’t live past the first caress.

I refused to tempt fate twice.

And this time.

It would be my fault.