Текст книги "Absolution Road"

Автор книги: Rachel Blaufeld

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Lane shook his head. “I’m not listening to this, Jake. We’ve been through this, hashed it all out. I went to therapy; you’re in therapy. Shirley is beyond the statute of limitations, and you were a little kid who did nothing wrong. There’s no blood on your hands. It’s all on her conscience, and she has to live with that.”

“Go!” I demanded as I turned my back on him. “I need a little more time out here, and then I’ll come inside and behave.”

Just as Lane was about to argue with me, Bess called through the open back door. “Here’s Brooks. Maddy is up, and he needs to run around and lift his leg.”

Her soft voice carried through the air as the dog bounded toward us, and from the looks of it, Bess may as well have announced she was naked and ready for round two. My brother perked up and headed for the house without another word.

“Hey, big guy.” I ran my hand along the shiny black Lab’s flank before giving him a little noogie on the head. With his tail wagging, he ran off toward a tree and did exactly what his mistress wanted him to do, lifted his leg like a good boy.

Did I want to be someone’s good guy? Lose myself in someone’s sweet voice? Sneak in a little afternoon delight while our baby napped?

Am I actually worth it?

Watching Brooks bound around the yard, looking for another spot to mark, I wasn’t so sure, but I did come up with yet another insane idea, Plan C. Lucky for me, I was in the rural back roads of Pennsylvania where I could set it all in motion.

With that in mind, I trudged back up to the house and spent the rest of the day cooing over my brother’s baby girl, counting the minutes until morning.

Aly

Saturday was downright miserable since I went to visit my mom like I did every weekend. It broke my heart to see her so frail and gray, her hands twisted with arthritis. Although I knew those years of scrubbing floors couldn’t have given her arthritis, all that hard work surely didn’t help.

The worst part was that she had no clue who I was until about five minutes before I had to leave. Just as my mother’s memory kicked in and her face lit up at the sight of me, I needed to rush off to meet Barry for a cup of coffee so we could go over case notes. Which, of course, made me feel like the worst daughter in the world, knowing she thought I’d just gotten there and left, when I’d really been there for hours.

The group behind me jostled me a little as I shifted my bag strap on my shoulder while I waited for the bus. When my phone rang, I startled, then patted each of my pockets in search of the source of the intrusion.

A glance at the screen confirmed that the caller was exactly who I didn’t want to hear from, but I answered anyway.

At my whispered hello, Drew said, “Hey, Aly? How are you?”

What the heck was with this guy? We had a nice time, but that was it. Never mind that he didn’t make my pulse race and my heart beat at full speed like Jake.

“I’m well,” I said, trying to be polite. “Just getting ready to do some work.” If I sounded harried, I thought, maybe we could cut this conversation short.

“You public-service people bring work home on the weekends too?”

“Looks like we do bring it home with us. I guess working on the weekends isn’t all bad if it keeps you out of trouble.”

Shit. Why did I have to go there and call attention to my boring lifestyle? Pissed at myself, I stomped my foot and shoved my hair behind my ear.

“So, you want to grab some dinner?” he asked.

Clearly, he wasn’t taking the hint. “Oh, Drew. Thanks for asking, but I can’t.”

“You mean you don’t want to.”

His question was aggressive, coming out more as a statement, and put me on the defensive. I was starting to see why he was so successful in the courtroom. The man definitely wasn’t short on tenacity.

“It’s just a hectic time for me,” I started, then realized it was time to be blunt. “And I can’t really get involved with you right now. That’s it.”

All of a sudden, I was Little Miss Bold. Where did that come from?

Because I like a guy who spent Christmas in jail, and I would rather be with him. When he’s not bossing me around, anyway.

“That’s too bad, Al. It’s just dinner. Are you sure?”

“Mm-hmm,” I mumbled as I lodged the phone between my neck and shoulder, eager to hang up and confused about my own traitorous thoughts. “It’s not you. It’s bad timing, that’s all.”

“Can I try again another time?”

Tenacious. Ugh.

“Sure. I gotta go now, Drew. Talk soon?”

“Of course.”

After disconnecting the call, I moved my strained neck from side to side and looked down the street for my bus. Of course it started to pour down rain while I stood there, and despite putting up the little umbrella I always carried in my messenger bag, I still managed to get completely soaked.

I wiped the excess moisture off my sleeves when I finally sat down on the bus. Leaning my head on the window, I watched the city blur by, unable to stop myself from thinking of the other night with Jake, and how mad I’d been when I rushed out of the hotel.

Who did he think he was, trying to control where I lived? He didn’t know the first thing about my circumstances. Did he think this was going to get him laid? It most certainly wasn’t.

I couldn’t afford to be distracted right now, not with this important case on my desk. I’d met with Cameron again the other day and he was still being evasive, but not as much so. Maybe it was being overly optimistic, but I had to believe I was close to cracking him open.

I’d tried leveling with him. “If you want me to defend you, I have to know what you know, what you’re hiding. So let’s start over.”

Cameron had paced the small room, his hands bound, shaking his head. “Just know I didn’t do anything. If I could post bail, I could show you.”

“That doesn’t help. You can go on some mission if you get out of here, but that’s only going to land you in more trouble. Plus, it’s not your job; it’s mine. Tell me what I need to know to help you,” I pleaded.

Without another word, he’d ended the meeting, banging on the door for the guard.

Still, I had hope that I was nearing the truth with Cameron, and Jake Wrigley was nothing more than a big, huge, amazingly hot distraction.

Except . . . I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Certainly not when I was awake, and even when I was asleep, my dreams were fair game.

I’d spent the last two nights dreaming of the rugged man sliding inside me, holding his weight up on one forearm while his other hand traced mysterious patterns up and down my rib cage and over the side of my breast. He was buried deep within me, his body pressing against every inch of me, whispering sweet promises in my ear as he stroked me where I didn’t know I ever wanted to be touched. Each time, just as he delved deeper and mumbled, “Everything is going to change,” I’d woken on the verge of coming undone.

After having coffee with Barry that night, I went home and went to bed. Just before I fell asleep, I willed myself not to think of Jake Wrigley and his bossy ways.

It didn’t work. When my eyes popped open at six o’clock the next morning—on a Sunday, no less—I jumped out of bed furious with myself. I was so sexually frustrated and charged up, but there was no way I’d take care of the itch the usual way. Vibrator be damned—it was hardly a sufficient replacement.

So I spent most of the morning clomping around my apartment in a horrid mood, working out my frustrations by doing chores. At noon, my hair was up in a messy bun and I was still in my pajama pants and ragged sweatshirt, trying to decide what I should tackle next. I’d already taken out my frustration on the bathroom tile until it sparkled and shone like something out of a bathroom cleaner commercial, and I was currently working on the area rug with the vacuum cleaner.

There I was, standing there running the vacuum mindlessly over the same damn spot, drawing the same lines over and over again, when there was a loud knock on the door. It didn’t register it was someone for me and not the neighbor telling me to stop making noise until after a few more bangs, followed by a loud, “Aly!” from the other side.

I switched off the vacuum and stood still for a moment, unable to believe my ears until he roared again. “Aly! Open the fucking door! The walls are paper thin and I can hear you vacuuming!”

That was when I padded to the door and opened it a crack to find Jake standing on the other side with a tiny chocolate-colored fur ball in his hands.

“Jake? What are you doing here?”

He pushed the door all the way open and strutted right into my apartment without a word. “Shut the door, Aly. It’s bad enough these walls are crap. The neighbors are going to hear enough.”

I couldn’t answer; I simply stared at him openmouthed. The only sounds in the room were little whimpers coming from the puppy.

Jake frowned at me, then shrugged. “Okay, I’ll do it.” He crossed the room again and pushed the door closed with a muddy boot, flipping the lock while still cradling the pup.

Turning back to me, he said, “Listen, I’m sorry I pushed the issue of you moving. What I’m not sorry for is meeting you. By some cruel twist of fate, I was meant to meet you, to meet a woman who’s way too good for me, but who needs me to take care of her. So if you don’t want to move, I bought you a dog. He may be little now, but he’ll be great protection for you.” Then he grinned at me, a huge grin that clearly said he was quite proud of himself.

“A dog? Jake, I work long hours, take the bus . . . I can’t take care of a dog.”

I grabbed the back of my couch, needing to prop myself up since my knees suddenly felt like they might fold under me. A strange combination of nerves, excitement, and fear shot through me, coursing through my blood and making me dizzy.

There was a dog in my apartment. Being held by Jake, the man I’d been having crazy sex dreams about for the last few nights. He’d stormed into my life, larger than life and full of himself, so certain that I needed him. And maybe I did.

Everything was changing and it was all so overwhelming. He stood there staring at me, expecting some sort of reaction, but I was such an emotional mess, I found myself speechless.

Finally Jake shrugged. “We’ll figure it out. I can stop by and let Maverick out when I’m traveling between gyms, but he’s here to stay.” He set the puppy down on the floor and the little bugger made a beeline for my bare feet, licking and sniffing every inch, his tail wagging.

“Maverick?”

“Aly, meet Maverick, your very own personal bodyguard.”

When another wide grin spread across Jake’s face and his eyes lit up, I felt myself relenting. How could I not?

“Maverick? Hardly seems like a bodyguard to me.” I bent down to pet the little fluff ball, and he immediately rolled over on his back.

“Not yet, but he’s a Lab. He’ll grow fast and will bond with you. He’ll be so fucking attached to you, no one will be able to get near you. Right, Maverick? He’s a tough dude, you better believe it.” Jake crouched on the floor next to me, wrapped his arm around me, and breathed the next part in my ear. “Except for me.”

His words were warm on my skin, igniting a path straight from my ear to the area between my thighs. I shifted a little, uncomfortable at the tingle that started there. It reminded me of my dreams, and the pent-up desire they’d triggered.

“It’s too much,” I said. “I don’t even know the first thing about taking care of a dog.” I kept my gaze on the floor, running my hand in figure eights on the furry belly in front of me, fearful of looking into Jake’s eyes. One glance, and I was afraid I’d sell my soul for this man.

In my whole life, no one had ever gone all-out for me, not like Jake. No one had ever tried to take care of me before, and I wasn’t that kind of girl, someone who needed a man to take care of her. I was a strong, independent woman who put herself through law school. The whole time Jake spoke, I kept reminding myself of this—I didn’t let outsiders in.

“Aly-cat, it’s not too hard. I already got food for him, and a crate in the truck. We’ll take him to the vet to make sure he’s up on his shots, and you’ll take him on walks. And don’t worry about the expense, I got that covered.”

His words sent my thoughts into overdrive, pinging from one issue to the next.

Aly-cat?

I got that covered.

I’m a strong, independent woman falling for the bad guy.

“How do you know all this? That he’ll bond with me and will take care of me? Or even what food to feed him?”

My knees were protesting from being crouched down so long, so I slid down to the floor even closer to Maverick. Unable to stop myself, I bent lower and I took a deep whiff of the tiny pup. He smelled heavenly. I was so in love already—with the dog, that is.

Jake reached out to tug gently on the pup’s ear. “I spent the weekend with my brother, Lane, and his wife, Bess. She has the best dog, Brooks Bailey. A long time ago, she went through a dark time and she rescued Brooks from the pound. Now those two are thick as thieves, and you should see the way that dog watches every move she makes . . . well, when he’s not watching their baby. He sleeps underneath the crib now. So, I know.” He lay down on the floor opposite me with Maverick, my new guard dog, between us.

“He is super sweet,” I admitted, taking another whiff. “But it’s too much. We just met, had one date, and now you’re buying me a dog and calling me Aly-cat. It’s all too much for me. This doesn’t happen in my world.”

He brought his hand on top of mine, our entwined palms now resting on Mav’s chest, absorbing his rapid heartbeat together.

Yes, I already had a nickname for the dog—Mav.

“It’s not too much,” he said, his voice softer than I’d heard it before. “I don’t believe in all that love-at-first-sight bull or kismet nonsense, but I’ve been in therapy long enough to know some things are meant to be. And I was meant for you, Aly, for however long you’ll let me stay. So, let me in.”

He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead, its heat practically singing my fair skin before he continued. “Plus, I adopted him from the shelter where Bess found Brooks. We’re doing a good deed, you and me, giving this guy a home. Up there in the country, dogs have litters all the time, and usually they’re dropped off at the rescue place. Not all of them can be adopted, so some of them have to be put down. It seemed like a good thing to make sure that this little guy didn’t go that way.”

At that info I looked up at Jake, making full eye contact for the first time since he showed up at the door, and dutifully nodded.

Jake didn’t waste any more time on words or glances. He just leaned in again, this time kissing me on the lips, a soft, tender, closed-mouth kiss. It was obvious he hadn’t shaved in a few days because he had the beginnings of a scruffy beard, and I lost myself in the dual sensations of the sweetness of his lips and the coarseness of the little hairs rubbing my chin.

My eyes drifted shut and all I could feel was Jake. His mouth on mine, taking his time exploring my lips, all while three hearts beat in tandem, creating their own symphony. He ran his tongue along my lower lip, seeking permission to enter, and I opened for him. For the first time in my life, I felt lucky, certain that I was the girl everyone envied because Jake Wrigley was kissing me.

This thing between us—whatever it was—was odd, and definitely moving fast. Jake and I just met; I hardly knew anything about him, and he barely knew anything about me and my poor upbringing. My dad’s memory was always with me, and my mom’s dementia and the weight of my school loans loomed over me, but a beautiful, sensitive man was kissing me as if I were the most special girl in the world.

Yes, I was the lucky one.

He tasted minty and salty—all man—and I wanted more. I gave my own tongue permission to seek his, exploring his mouth the way he’d just explored mine. Jake slipped his hand around my back and pulled me closer, dropping his thumb and stroking the side of my breast through my sweatshirt. I felt myself get wet below, a pool of desire dripping into my pajama bottoms from one innocent twitch of his thumb. A small whimper escaped me, and he brought his hand underneath my sweatshirt, slowly sliding up to my breast.

Just as I was arching my back, asking for more, I heard the puppy yip and the moment was over.

Pulling away from me, his eyelids still at half-mast, Jake whispered, “I think Mav has to take a piss. He’s already stealing your attention away from me, and I’m jealous.”

He grabbed my hand in his and pulled us up together with one tug, then ran a soft kiss along my jawline before scooping Maverick into his arms and clipping the leash on him.

And that was how we left on our first dog walk—hand in hand, with the cutest puppy ever tucked into the most gorgeous man’s arm.

Jake

Well, the damn dog went and ruined my moment, but I had to give it to the little guy—he got me in the door.

I’d spent the night before chatting with Bess, watching her coo over Maddy while Lane worked next door in his study, and a deep pit of loneliness had lodged in my throat. So I mentioned to Bess the idea about getting Aly a puppy.

She’d stood up with the baby in her arms and spun around. “What a great idea!” she’d declared with certainty. “You know, Lane wormed his way into my heart with all those silly gifts. Not the jewelry, but don’t tell him that,” she said with a wink. The giant yellow diamond on her hand cast sparkles all over the room, but she’d said that the little gifts meant the most, so I went with it.

So this morning after Lane had headed for the airport, Bess left Maddy with James, and she and I went to pick up Maverick.

Fast forward a few hours, and I’d kissed the girl I wanted and was now strolling outside her shitty apartment with her and Maverick, who was scampering ahead of us on the burgundy leash Bess had picked for him.

Life was pretty damn good.

“Here, why don’t you take him,” I said.

Aly grabbed the leash with reckless abandon and allowed the dog as much time as he wanted sniffing every single blade of grass. Finally, he squatted and peed—on the sidewalk of all places.

“Give him some praise,” I told her. “Name what going to the bathroom is, like good potty.”

“Really?” she asked. When I nodded, she leaned forward and told the pup in a gentle voice, “Good boy! Go potty, baby. Go potty.”

I was immediately jealous. My cock hardened at the sounds floating from her mouth, combined with the sight of her hair still in a messy bun and her ass in the yoga pants she’d thrown on. Down, boy, I told my dick.

“What?” she asked me, and I smirked at the realization that I must have spoken out loud.

Tossing my arm around her, I said, “Aly-cat, I’m sure this isn’t the right place or time, but you got me worked up, if you know what I mean.”

She stopped walking and stared up at me, doubt putting a little crease between her brows.

I winked. “What can I say? You look good all messy like that, walking our dog.”

“Our dog? We’ve been on one date, and now we share a pet?”

“Yep.”

I didn’t let her say anything more before I wound my hand around her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. Like a good puppy, Maverick plopped down at our feet as I took her mouth while we stood in the middle of her grimy neighborhood. She wouldn’t be living in this shithole of a neighborhood for much longer if I had anything to do with it.

Aly pulled away first and took my hand as if it was the most natural thing to do—like we did it every Sunday morning—and continued to stroll for a while. Then she invited me back to her place for brunch. We made a stop at my Hummer and carried the dog supplies upstairs, and she pampered me with small talk and eggs and bacon before I reluctantly got the hell out.

I told her I needed to check on the gym, but what I really needed was a cold shower.

My phone buzzed at eleven o’clock on Monday with a text. I was in the middle of walking the construction site at the new gym when a picture of Maverick lit up my screen and the words “Aly-cat” ran across the bottom.

“Excuse me for one sec,” I told Jax, my new foreman. Standing off to the side, I slid open the screen.

ALY : Took the bus to Oakland to let Mav out and eat lunch at home. I’m going to work from here for a few hours, so you’re off duty. :)

I texted back one of those mad faces. Then I found my man card and texted back actual words.

ME : Okay, good! You need to bond. In the middle of meeting. Talk later?

ALY : Sure.

Almost immediately, a cluster of nerves swept through my tightened muscles. I was busy with work and slightly relieved I didn’t need to go let the dog out. But all of a sudden, I wanted to see Aly. Touch her. Smell her. And I realized that those nerves I thought were sweeping through me were actually disappointment.

Was this normal when two people liked each other? And for that matter, did she actually like me? She was home bonding with the dog I bought for her, which meant something. Right?

Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I shoved my phone back in my pocket. “Okay, Jax, let’s move on.”

We wound our way through the rest of the floor, inspecting the locker rooms that were almost finished. As we were checking out the aerobics studio, an idea came to me.

“Hey, Jax, one last thing. I bought this duplex over on the east side of the city. I want to clean it up, touch it up a little, and rent the units. You think you have a guy or two to spare on the weekend, someone who wants to make time-and-a-half? I want to get it done.”

Jax leaned against the wall that would eventually be the back of the weight room, his feet kicked out in front of him. “I got a few guys who like to earn a little extra beer money. You got the keys? I can go take a look tonight and make a list of what I think needs to be done quick and dirty.”

I fished through my pocket and tossed him the key ring before reaching to shake his hand. “Thanks, man. I’ll text you the address.”

Then I was back out the door and headed to the Oakland location, my first baby. I’d worked out early this morning in the burbs, putting a new trainer through his paces, but I felt like a quick workout. My gut had hardened with an unknown pang, some type of longing I’d never known, and I wanted to sweat that shit out.

I barreled my way through several sets of pull-ups alternated with bench presses before I worked my legs hard. Wall squats with dumbbells and weighted leg extensions left my thighs trembling. I opted for my private shower in the back of my office since the lunch rush was hitting the gym and crowding the locker rooms.

Leaning up against the tiles in my private shower, I rested my forehead on them and let my hand stroke myself. Yes, it was fucking disgusting that I was doing this in the middle of the work day, but I was locked away in the back of my office so I shrugged off any guilt. My workout had barely scratched the surface of my tension, and I needed to let some of it bleed out of my system. I was strung out, both sexually and emotionally, and didn’t know how the fuck else to ease it. I just knew I was a wreck and had to go see my therapist this afternoon.

Visions of red hair flowing around my cock took over my imagination. In my mind, Aly dipped her mouth and took me deep, running her tongue along my tip, lapping up the drops of pre-come from the seam. She hummed and moaned while I was seated inside her mouth, the sound reverberating on my shaft, ratcheting me higher.

My hand worked overtime, pulling on my dick, tugging roughly up and down while my brain pictured Aly on her knees in front of me. I imagined pulling her hair back at the nape of her neck and fucking her rosy red lips, and I pumped faster. The calluses on my hand were a weak replacement for what should be Aly’s tender mouth.

I went rougher, thought for a moment about tying her to my bed when she was done sucking me off, and dreamed of her looking up at me. Her eyes sought mine, telling a magic story, begging me to do exactly what I wanted—to tie her up and bury myself in her ginger pussy.

I came on a long exhale, shooting jizz all over the tile as I silently mouthed, Fuck, Aly-cat, that was incredible.

And just like that, I was hard again. My shower fantasy and jerk-off session had done little to squelch my desire. I turned the water all the way cold and stood under the spray, allowing it to cool me down. I couldn’t miss my appointment with my shrink. Not today.

I slumped onto the god-awful sofa at the shrink’s joint and stuck my feet up on the coffee table.

“How have you been?” Dr. Wells asked.

“I’m so messed up, even I can’t believe it.”

“Why do you say that?”

I looked down at my running shoes propped up on the mahogany table, their bright blue a stark contrast to the rich brown. “See these shoes?”

“Yes,” she said, frowning a little in confusion.

“See how bright and amazing the blue is, vibrant and full of life?”

Doc nodded.

“Now take a look at the table. It’s dark and morose. There’s no life in that ugly brown. It looks like shit, feels like crap, and deserves nothing more. That’s me. And I’m falling for a girl who’s like my shoes. Which is so messed up, Doc.”

I rubbed my thumb along the callous on my palm, closing my eyes and willing myself not to fall apart.

“We’re back to the same place, Jake. You feeling as if you don’t deserve anything good in your life.”

“I don’t, but I’m going to take it this time because I can’t resist this woman. That’s why I’m even more of a mess.” I sighed.

Dr. Wells took a deep breath. “Jake, I think it’s time we invite your brother to a session. I’m afraid you’re not going to ever see yourself as the innocent little boy you were, and I feel as if a little discussion between the three of us would help.”

“Yeah, if that ass agreed to go after Shirley and force her to move far away . . . like Alaska where she would freeze to death.”

My shrink leaned forward in her favorite chair, the straight-backed pink upholstered one that fit her so well. “I don’t believe for a second that you wish ill on anyone, so don’t say that again. Let’s deal with what we can control, like how you think and your growing interest in this woman.”

“Alyson. Aly.” I felt a smile break out on my face, a genuine full-on wide grin.

As though I was looking in the mirror, Dr. Wells broke out in a matching one.

“She’s perfect,” I told the doc. “So beautiful, I want to devour her. Physically, emotionally, all of her, every last inch. She needs to be handled gently, but I’m all rough and dominant with her. I tried to get her to move, and that didn’t go so well, so I bought her a guard dog. I’m fucking everything up, and she just kind of rolls with it. I want to stay away, not be excited when I think about her, but I can’t.”

“Uh-huh,” she murmured as she scribbled notes.

“Here’s the thing. She knows about jail and the other time, but she doesn’t know this.” I waved my hand in front of me, illustrating the enormity of the reason why I was sitting in this room.

“Tell her, Jake. If she’s as wonderful as you say, she’ll care for you no matter what.”

I shook my head; Dr. Wells was wrong. Aly would run if she knew what I did.

And that was when the craziest plan yet entered my head. I decided to tell Aly the truth so she would run far way from me. Before it was too late.

But first, I just wanted one little taste of her.