Текст книги "Absolution Road"

Автор книги: Rachel Blaufeld

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Jake

I was late. Wearing the same rumpled clothes I’d worn yesterday, I threw the truck in DRIVE and hit the road. In all my years of mindless fucking, I’d never slept in, missed a workout or bailed on my routine. I felt strange. Not like myself.

With Camper, we never spent the night together. She’d wanted to, but I wouldn’t allow it. Before her, there’d been Courtney. I’d been semi-serious with her, taking Christmas ski trips and having sleepovers, but I never fucking missed my morning gym time.

I’d woken up in the bed with Aly, the sleigh bed or whatever the fuck they’d called it. The one I’d bought for the rental, bought for her, denying it every step of the freaking way. The spot next to me had been warm and soft as I’d reached my arm around. I’d been sated and content, my mind neither running nor tense, and my cock hard as a fucking sledgehammer.

My heart was beating like I was pumping iron as I turned onto the main drag toward the gym. What the fuck?

Aly had been lying there quietly when I turned to face her, and her eyes met mine. I’d brought my hand to meet her cheek and she’d whispered, “Good morning.”

Aly. With her big smile and soft expression as she looked at me, Aly’s green eyes had said what I feared most in life. I like you. Want more from you.

People shouldn’t like me or want more from me because I wasn’t whole. I couldn’t give more. Tainted and impure, I was nothing but a shell of a man, good looking on the outside, but that was it.

That was when it hit me. My hand banged the dash as I turned into my parking lot. That was why I didn’t feel like me.

I felt whole.

But I wasn’t whole. I had a past. A bad one.

Aly saw through that. But why?

She saw me as good, and wasn’t that what I wanted? To protect her?

Apparently some of her goodness was rubbing off on me, but it shouldn’t stick. It couldn’t. Not on someone like me.

When I swung open the front door to Fizzle, Chloe gave me a concerned look from the front desk.

“Everything okay, Jake?” she asked, pushing her chest out toward me. Somewhere along the way, she’d gotten the wrong idea about her and me.

“Yeah, why?” I stopped and leaned my elbows on the counter, averting my gaze.

“You missed your workout. And you weren’t here when I opened up.” She made a silly pouty face that a few months ago, I would have considered sticking my cock into just to make it go away.

“Changing it up, Chlo. A guy can change it up.” No way I was going to put my anxiety, fear, or fucking feelings on display where I worked. “Anything happening?” I asked.

“No. I got all the guest passes ready for the baseball guys like you wanted and put them on your desk in the back.”

She sat up high on her stool, her blond hair twisted in a braid and her tits spilling out of a Fizzle tank. It didn’t do much for me anymore. It was like the standard uniform for a gym worker. These days, I jerked off to tight black slacks and blouses, unbuttoned and revealing cleavage.

“Cool! Thanks. I’m going to hit the weights and then head straight to my office.”

After I changed into workout gear, I went straight for the free weights section of my gym and racked weighted plates onto a bar. Then I bench-pressed until I couldn’t feel my pecs anymore.

The gym was still quiet, mostly college girls on the treadmills and a few grad students pretending to be tough on the elliptical. The early-morning hours, lunch, and evenings were our busiest times, but I suspected when word got out the professional ball players were dropping by mid-morning at both our locations, traffic would increase.

With the tension mostly bled from my body, I showered and went to work. I threw on a pair of track pants and a Fizzle T-shirt I kept in my locker, then strode back to my office. I made calls, checked invoices, and ordered some more equipment for the new gym. The bank had granted me a sizable line of credit due to my current success, not to mention my clean financial record thanks to Lane bailing me out a few times.

Lane was in for a third on the new place. Actually, Bess was. He’d put it in her name so she would have some equity.

Mid-morning, Chloe popped her head in and reported that a few members of the baseball team and their trainers were here and ready to work out. She couldn’t hide how smitten she was with the men. I gave them a quick tour and set them up in the free-weight station with a new brand of weighted balls I was carrying.

Back in my office, I pulled out my phone and sent a text.

ME : How did it work with the bus?

I returned a few e-mails, mostly to vendors, while I waited for a reply.

ALY : Good. Came on time and took me right where I needed to go.

ME : Still wish you would’ve let me drive you.

Christ, what the hell was going on with me? I had no control over my fingers and their typing.

ALY : I wanted to see how to get the bus from there. Anyway, taking a half day. Going to run the steps and grocery shop. Thank you for everything.

ME : When are you stair running?

ALY : Why?

ME : I want to check out your legs.

Because I’m a sick, twisted man who wants you, I thought, but can’t keep you.

ALY : Huh-uh. Not working out with you.

ME : How about dinner?

ALY : I’ll cook.

ME : At my place.

ALY : Which one?

ME : Mine. Where I live. The rental is yours.

ALY : Okay.

ME : Okay? Just like that? No arguing?

ALY : Okay. Can I bring Mav?

ME : Pick you both up at 6:30.

ALY : Okay.

I needed to check on my baseball players, but first I made one more important call. To my shrink. I was going to need to see her soon. Like yesterday.

I felt like I was standing there in my body, but it wasn’t me inside anymore . . . or some shit like that.

It was still light out when I pulled up in front of my rental and jumped out to get Aly and the puppy. They were waiting on the front stoop, Aly’s legs in painted-on jeans, and Mav’s tail wagging.

Pushing back any doubts, I approached the pair. “Hey!”

“Hey!”

“Are you settled? Feeling okay?” I surveyed the neighborhood and spotted a dark blue Ford Explorer down the street. Aly didn’t notice it, but it must be my guy.

“I’m good. We need to discuss rent.” She unfolded her long legs and stood up from the steps, her hair falling to one side of her face.

Leaning close, I kissed her closed mouth gently. Then I grabbed the leash and pushed her up against the brick wall and kissed her not so gently, fucking her mouth with my tongue.

Once we were both out of breath, I said, “Come on, let’s go before I fuck you up against this wall for the whole neighborhood to see.”

Her eyes grew wide and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

“Let’s roll, Aly-cat.” I grabbed her hand and guided her to the sidewalk.

We hustled into the truck and after we’d been on the road a few minutes, she asked, “So, what is this?”

I glanced at her, but her eyes remained transfixed on the road in front of us. “What? Dinner?”

She turned toward me. “Jake, listen, I know I’m not experienced like you. But I am independent. I’ve been in charge of my fate since day one, and I also may not be well traveled or indulged, but I need to ask. What is this? Us. A one-night thing? A one-month deal? You testing the waters in a different place?”

I kept my eyes in front of me as I said, “A good place. Not testing, but seeing. Seeing what can be or could be. I don’t know, Al, but when I saw you in the jail, I was inspired.”

“By my legs?” A smile turned up in the corner of her red lips.

“Yes.” I faced her and winked. “I wanted you in the worst way, but then the idea of you stayed with me. We kept running into each other, and I don’t know. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel one hundred percent bad.”

“Jake,” she said, her voice full of warning.

“Aly, I’m bad.” I gripped the steering wheel fiercely. “What I did. Even if I was young and didn’t know, I should’ve done something about Shirley sometime in all these years.”

“You didn’t know, couldn’t know what to do. Like my mom. How could she have known my dad’s accident wasn’t an accident?”

I turned to cross the bridge over to the North Side as dusk fell, coloring the sky purple and dark blue. “That’s different. You two didn’t know. I’m not a decent person, but I’m trying. Lane is making a life, and I want to also. I just don’t know what that life looks like.”

“And us?”

“I don’t know what that looks like either, but with me, you’ll be safe.”

My mind churned. Physically, she’d be safe; I’d protect her against anything or anyone. As for her heart, I wasn’t so sure about how safe that was. But I liked how I was feeling too much to consider the other options.

Parked inside my garage, we got out of the truck and she followed me into my home. All of a sudden, I wondered if she’d stay the night. I desperately wanted her to sleep next to me, to wake up next to her and slip deep inside her as morning broke the sky. I clenched my palm at my side, punishing myself for turning into such a pussy-whipped, lovesick idiot.

At the top of the stairs, I placed my hand on her lower back and guided her toward the kitchen. “Want a drink?”

“Just some water. So, what should we make?”

“We could grill. I have chicken and vegetables. And angel food cake with berries for dessert.”

Her eyes lit up like the dashboard of my Hummer. “Dessert?”

“I promised.”

“Good thing I ran a few extra flights today.”

I meant to get the chicken out of the fridge but cornered her against the counter, my hand roaming down her thigh. “I’m going to have to go out of business because that whole running stairs is apparently way better than working out in a gym.”

She laughed.

“I’m not kidding, those stairs are going to put me out of business.”

My nose grazed the tip of hers as my hand continued its descent down her thigh before climbing back up again. Her quad muscle flexed under my fingers, and a moan escaped my mouth. We stayed like that a beat or two, our breaths in sync, and my hand fell once again—this time not stopping until behind her knee. I lifted her right leg and pulled it around my waist, leaning her ass into the granite counter, and pressed my cock into her heat. Need seeped through her jeans, permeating the kitchen with lust.

I moved my lips to hers and kissed her.

Aly

My tailbone rested on the counter as Jake held me in place, his erection making itself well known against my seated thigh. I tried to lift my pelvis for more pressure, hunting down the release I experienced the other night, but he wouldn’t allow it. Jake’s hand remained firm on my hip, keeping me exactly where he wanted me until he released my lips and was on the move.

On his way down there, down below.

Oh. My. God.

“It’s Jake. Maybe even Jason if you’re good.”

“I said that out loud?”

“Yeah.”

His mouth grazed my belly button as he spoke. His left hand had my shirt lifted slightly and he was causing a forest of goose pimples to grow all over my stomach. He licked his way down to the top of my jeans, and with one flick of his fingers, they were unbuttoned. Sadly, he pulled his tongue away from my skin, but only for the ten seconds it took him to pull off my boots and tug down my jeans. I lifted my hips and shimmied my butt off the counter to help.

This, he allowed. Then he pried my thighs as wide as they would go and brought his face where only one man had ever done so before. At first, it was a light caress, a tender teasing with his tongue. A touch here, a swipe there, looking for the spot, but there wasn’t a particular spot that was more sensitive than any other. I was a goner the second the tip of his tongue grazed the edge of my vagina. Or was it my pussy? How was I supposed to refer to myself down there when Jake was clearly getting down and dirty and making me wild?

Jake tilted me back on the counter and dove in harder. He attacked my core with a skillful vengeance, a sense of purpose I’d never experienced from a man. The back of my head rested on the cabinet, my eyes squeezed shut as I took in every nip, lick, and taste. My pelvis reached and my hips strained for every movement. My lower body certainly didn’t want to miss out on anything related to Jake’s tongue.

“Stop squirming,” he demanded.

“Jake?”

He kept his hands where they were, but looked up at me. My green eyes and his blue ones were like two differently charged magnets. “I don’t have much experience with this,” I admitted.

“Even better. Ready for me to rock your world?”

He didn’t wait for an answer. He dipped back in, his tongue sliding down my fold and up the other. Finally, he made his way to slip his tongue deep inside me and sucked me to the brink of orgasm. His thumb drummed my clit—that damn clit, I barely knew it existed a month ago.

My pussy pulsed with need as I felt his tongue driving in and out of me, my clit swollen, my libido awakened and doing a happy dance. Tiny moans and whimpers and pleas and begs for more continued to spill from me.

I was on the precipice, on the verge of something even more unknown than the night before, when Jake pulled away his tongue and blew a warm breath on my clit before stroking it with his even warmer tongue. My orgasm ripped through me, my muscles tensing, blood surging through my veins, and my head swam with visions of Jake’s tongue tasting me.

Sweat lined the back of my neck underneath my hair, my hands shook from the climax channeling through every one of my limbs, and Jake didn’t let up. He lapped up every last shiver as his tongue eased up on its pace, slowing and cooling me.

“Wish I could eat you every night for dinner.” He winked as he stood up, adjusting his pants.

In response, I opened my eyes and reached for the top of his jeans.

“Huh-uh, ladies only tonight. Now we eat. Get dressed.”

“No, that’s not fair.”

“Remember? I’m in control. I’m in charge, and I say it’s dinnertime. Tonight’s all about you, Aly-cat.”

On shaky legs, I stood and reluctantly slipped back into my pants so we could make chicken and grilled vegetables together. We saved the angel food cake for later, but we never ate it.

I got a chance to return Jake the favor from earlier, and it was much sweeter.

Tuesday I woke up in Jake’s bed. Alone. Next to me on the pillow was a note. It was a ripped page from a 2010 calendar, and Jake’s very messy handwriting was scrawled across the lines in red marker.

Hey, Aly-cat! Good morning. I left to work out. Took Mav to the gym with me. Don’t be mad. Make yourself at home. I left my iPad on the counter with the bus schedule pulled up. I know how you insist on taking it. I’ll swing by YOUR place and drop Mav later.

—JW

THANKS for a great night.

What the heck did that mean? Thanks for a great night? He took my dog to work? Our dog? I ran my hand over my face, rubbing my eyes, certainly smearing yesterday’s mascara everywhere. What time was it?

I rolled over in bed and found the clock. It wasn’t even six thirty in the morning. What time did this guy work out? Luscious memories of his body hovering over me, his biceps flexing, sweat running down his chest as he made love to—or slept with—me ran through my mind. Okay, so I had a one-night stand, or maybe a few-nights stand. Was there such a thing?

Get over yourself, Aly. People do it all the time. It’s the twenty-first century, and women can have sex whenever and with whoever they want.

I tossed my legs out of bed and stumbled on sore limbs to the bathroom. There was a folded towel on the counter, and I took that as an invitation to shower. Afterward, I put back my jeans back on from the day before—without underwear—and smoothed the creases out of my white blouse.

As I hunted through my purse for earrings and a necklace, I hit the jackpot. Thanks to being reliant on the bus, my bag had eventually turned into a home on the go. After all, I couldn’t just jump in my car and run back home if I’d forgotten something. I snatched out my makeup bag and discovered a pair of clean underwear hidden beneath it. Quickly, I shed the jeans, donned the panties, and pulled the jeans back on. Much better.

When I hit the kitchen, I wasn’t looking my professional best but it would do for a day in the office. Luckily, I didn’t have to be in court all week. I scanned the bus schedule for the North Side and realized I was doing well on time.

I stopped at the small coffee shop near Jake’s place and grabbed a muffin and a black coffee, and made it to the bus stop just as my bus was pulling up. After scoring a good seat by myself, I tucked my bag under my feet and rested my shoulder against the window as I watched the North Shore breeze by as we headed to town.

Anxiety tightened my belly as I thought back to our conversation last night. I’d asked Jake what we were and he didn’t know, but it didn’t seem like he felt we were a one-and-done thing. So, what were we?

I yanked the cord for the bus to stop a few stops before the county building, needing the walk and the fresh air to regain my lawyerly confidence. There was no way I could ever show weakness in my job. The prosecutors would eat me alive, and my clients would run for the hills.

Wait! Isn’t that exactly what my current client has done?

As soon as I arrived at my office, I trekked to Barry’s and walked in without knocking.

“Maybe it’s my fault,” I blurted without a hello. “You know I never wanted to be a part of this team. Maybe Cameron sensed that? And I should’ve listened when he demanded he didn’t do it.”

“Aly, don’t be ridiculous. Sit down.” Barry pointed to the chair.

I plopped down and rested my head in my hands. “Barry, you remember the guy who beat up Cameron? The one I let out of jail?”

Barry leaned back in his chair, frowning. “Cameron wasn’t going to press charges. You had no choice.”

I looked away, unable to meet his gaze. “I know, but he and I have become involved.”

“What?” His eyes widened.

“Yes.”

“That’s so unlike you, Aly.”

“Yes, I know, but I can’t second-guess my decision right now. He must’ve seen us together because who ever sent me a text mentioned the dog. Someone’s watching me.”

“Who? Cameron?” Barry leaned forward.

“Maybe? It seems like the only logical choice.”

Just then, my phone buzzed with a text.

UNKNOWN NUMBER : I didn’t do it. I’m an ass but it wasn’t me, so fix this.

My hand shook as I read the message for a second time and passed my phone to Barry.

His expression hardened as he scanned the text, then he returned the phone to me. “We’ve got to find him. Text him back and tell him to turn himself in and tell us his story in person. While you’re doing that, I’ll contact the police and have them ping his phone to see if we can get a location.”

My heart raced as the ramification of all the lines I’d crossed became clear. I’d willfully broken the rules with my relationship with Jake, and that bad decision was coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.

“It’s going to be okay,” Barry assured me. “I’m on this. We’re going to bring him back in and hear—really hear—what he has to say about all the pictures in his apartment. If he didn’t do the crimes, only hung the pics of them on his walls like some sort of sick tribute, someone close to him did. And maybe he knows who that is.”

In a daze, I shook my head and stood, then walked back to my office. In the dark comfort of my tiny workspace, I messaged the unidentified caller back, hoping it was Cameron, and then left for police headquarters to file a report.

My phone buzzed almost right away, and a shiver ran down my spine. Was it him? I realized I wasn’t thinking of Cameron, and an even colder shudder rocked through me as I pulled out my phone.

How could I get so man-crazy when my career was in shambles and my life was threatened? Was I nuts?

JAKE : Did you make it to work okay? Is it okay for Mav and I to pick you up in town?

I didn’t answer, just shoved my phone back in my bag and went about my business.

Jake

Aly didn’t respond to my text. Was she mad at me? Maybe I shouldn’t have left this morning before she woke up, but I needed to work out. It was part of my survival routine. Without it, I felt too exposed and raw; I was a ticking time bomb without the release.

Fuck! I slammed my hand into my desk. I’d never done this relationship thing before, and now I knew why. Because it sucked. Sucked big hairy balls.

My phone rang and I snatched it off the desk, hoping it was Aly. No such luck.

“Hey,” I said after swiping my finger over the screen.

“What’s happening in the North Hills?” Lane asked.

“All good. On track now and set to open in the fall. I’m looking at an October grand opening.”

“Good. Glad Jax is working out. What’s new with you?”

“The big dogs from the baseball team are working out at my place. After two sessions, they love it. Want to put in some of my equipment recs in the stadium and find them some shit to travel with.”

“Good, that’s all good. And the girl?”

I sighed. “I’m pretty sure I messed it up. How ’bout Bess? By the way, why the fuck do you keep fading in and out?” I stood and paced, kicking at the foot of my desk in frustration.

“I’m in France with shit service. Bess is good; she stayed back home. May from the hotel is helping her with Maddy. James went back to Florida for a few weeks, thank fuck. God, I love the little gay Napoleon, but he needs to know he doesn’t run my house.”

“He does, Lane. Bess lives and breathes for him.”

“Yeah, I fucking know. I got all these frou-frou decorations everywhere. Now, how the hell did you screw up with this girl?”

I sat back down and propped my feet up on my desk, holding the phone between my neck and ear. I’d just started to tell him what happened when a very unwelcome visitor burst into my office.

“You know what, Lane? I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” Not waiting for a response, I slammed my phone facedown on the desk and stood, thoroughly pissed off. “Camper? What the hell do you want?”

“Jake.” She doubled over in front of my desk, red-faced and gasping as tears slid down her cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” This was totally unlike her. Camper might be a lot of things, but she wasn’t a crier. I came around the desk and ran my hand down her back in smooth strokes. “Camper, why the hell are you crying?”

I gathered her in my arms, hoping like hell this wasn’t a ploy to get me back in bed. More drama from her was the last thing I needed.

Camper clung to me, her cries coming out in raspy gasps, but she didn’t respond.

“Camper?” I shook her. “Snap out of it. Talk to me!”

Finally she looked up at me, hiccupping her words through her tears. “I came out of my apartment this morning and there was this chick waiting by my car. Tall, skinny, blond, and blue-eyed with some weird accent. She kept muttering something about how I slept with her man.”

“Did you call the police?”

She shook her head. “No, she had this huge knife and was waving it all over the place. She kept saying in broken English, ‘You tainted him, diseased him.’ I don’t even know what she was talking about. Then she took the knife and stabbed all my tires and used it to scratch all over my car door. I couldn’t run or do anything because she had this young guy, maybe only eighteen, holding me back.”

“What the hell? Who’ve you got yourself mixed up with, Camp?”

She collapsed in my arms, and I leaned on the desk to brace the both of us. “No one. I’ve been sitting at home, upset about losing you.”

I rolled my eyes while I automatically patted her back. Jesus Fucking Christ. Why couldn’t I just fuck complete strangers? Now I had this crybaby ex-lover/ex-employee stuck to me like goddamn glue, and my heart and head were all twisted up over Aly.

“Sit down,” I told her, leading her to a chair. “Tell me this again. What exactly happened?” The whole thing sounded so insane, I had to hear it a second time.

Camper reiterated the same story and burst into another round of tears.

Of course, my phone was buzzing every minute while I sat and consoled Camper, and there wasn’t a fucking thing I could do about it. I was probably missing Aly’s text or call, but it was clear this was serious.

Together, we called the authorities and Camper repeated her story for the third time, the stupid suburban detective scribbling down all the details and promising to call as soon as they found anything out.

Finally, the police decided to escort Camper back to her apartment so they could have a look at the crime scene, and I was free to check my phone.

I had one text from her. One stupid text.

ALY : Something came up today at work and it’s going to mean an all-nighter here at the office. Can you keep Maverick until tomorrow?

Shit! She was mad!

I texted her back, scrambling for a way to fix it.

JAKE : Of course. But how about I run some dinner to you? I can bring dessert too.

It wasn’t until after I made it back to Fizzle’s city location that I heard from her again.

ALY : Thank you but not necessary. We’re going to call out for pizzas. Why don’t I cook tomorrow as a way to say thanks? You can bring Mav then. Six thirty?

Well, maybe she wasn’t as mad as I believed. I kicked the drawer to my desk closed, causing the entire piece of furniture to move, the pens and shit on top scattering everywhere.

What the hell did I know about all of this? Nothing, but I still texted back that I’d be there. Then, being the ass I truly was, I sweet-talked Chloe into watching Maverick while I did an extra-long workout.

At a quarter to seven the next night, fifteen minutes late, I threw my Hummer into PARK in front of the rental unit. The one I bought for a female do-gooder lawyer with green crystals for eyes, red hair, and legs for days. A woman who had no business being with the likes of me, yet she’d spread her legs for me, moaned my name, and came on my face.

I’m going to hell.

I stood on my—her—porch after ringing the bell, the dog jumping around my feet as I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. I wasn’t standing there waiting for just a fuck. A woman was about to cook me dinner, after shutting me out for a day. I was nervous as hell.

Eating with Camper was easy; we worked together. What I was about to do now was completely different, no comparison at all. I’d just squeezed my eyes shut, trying to shove out any thoughts of Camper, when Aly answered the door. I definitely wasn’t going to tell her about Camper showing up at my office the day before.

“Jake? You okay?” She stood there wearing tight jeans and some loose white shirt, blouse, or whatever you call it, along with those knee-high boots that drove me wild.

I blinked. “Yeah, yeah. Fine. It’s been a long two days and you’re . . . I don’t know. Seeing you has seemed to wipe it all away,” I stammered. Scary part was, I meant it.

“Well, thanks. Come in.” She picked Maverick up and gave him ten too many kisses before setting him down.

“What about me?” I asked, kicking the door shut with my foot and turning the lock. The click separated us from the rest of the world, which was the best news I’d had in twenty-four hours.

“Saving the best for last,” she said in a whisper, as if she’d embarrassed herself with her forthrightness. On tiptoes, she wrapped her arm around my waist and asked, “May I?”

I didn’t answer. My mouth took hers in a hard kiss. Biting her lower lip when I was done with her, I said, “That was punishment for yesterday. Making me wait.”

I’m definitely going to hell. I shrugged off my jacket and tossed it on the banister.

“I couldn’t avoid that,” she said as she walked toward the kitchen with both Maverick and after her. “We had some stuff come up at work.”

“Oh yeah?” I raised an eyebrow. “Something with your break-in?” Unsure of where to go or what to do, I stood uncomfortably in the middle of the kitchen, itching to take Aly upstairs.

“Sort of. I really can’t say. So, can I get you a beer? Water?”

Why couldn’t she tell me? I wanted to tell her everything, explain what happened with Camper, but was unsure if it was appropriate.

“Water’s good. You having wine? I’ll open it.”

“Sure. That would be great.”

She scooted behind me, her tits brushing against my back as she made her way to the fridge. I grabbed her by the wrist and leaned her against the fridge as I kissed her. It was like muscle memory. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until I did it.

The icemaker hummed behind Aly, the vibration a steady beat in the background as my tongue assaulted her mouth. “Put your hands on my back, under my shirt,” I demanded into her mouth. “I want to feel your nails scratch me.”

She hesitated a beat before I felt the soft pads of her fingers lift my shirt and her nails scratch up toward my shoulders. My tongue dove deeper into her hot mouth. The kiss was messy, hurried, and desperate on my part. Desperate for the woman, eager for her virtue to wash over me and erase my sins—but nothing could really do that.

“Jake,” she whispered, pulling back. “Dinner’s going to burn.”

“Hmm?”

“Dinner?”

“Fuck it,” I said, sweeping her off her feet. I lifted my knee to hit the OFF button on the oven before I carried her out of the kitchen.

As soon as we hit the bedroom, I started talking, spewing my feelings and shit. “I didn’t like not seeing you yesterday. I know you were upset I wasn’t there when you woke up.” Still talking, I yanked her shirt off and grabbed a handful of her tit. “But I got to work out. It keeps me sane, and you seemed comfortable.”

I bent down and wrapped my mouth around her pretty pink nipple and sucked hard. She grabbed my hair in the back, pulling it and drawing its length through her fingers. I’d been thinking of shaving it again, until now.

“I want you to trust me, Aly-cat. I want to be tough for you, but I can’t do that if my head isn’t right. Do you get that?”

My hand worked her other tit, kneading it, flicking her tight, hard nipple as I plundered her mouth. Her creamy skin was pinking up everywhere I touched, and my cock kept getting harder.

Her lips broke from mine. “I get it, Jake. I do. I wasn’t mad.” She moved her hand out from my hair to my cheek, her soft palm grazing my stubble. “I wasn’t mad. You don’t always have to think you did something wrong. I had work stuff going on. That’s all.”

My cheek prickled under her touch and my heart tumbled with emotion. Yes, my bad-ass black heart tumbled.