Текст книги "Ravages"

Автор книги: R.A. Padmos

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

smiled at and who had smiled at him when he signed autographs on shirts and pieces of paper. The

photos tell him nothing new. But when Daniël talks about this with Matthew and Gael, relief and

bloody revenge in their voices, he closes his eyes and pretends not to hear.

Life, such as it is, moves along. He’s able to eat a light meal without assistance. He no longer

falls asleep several times a day, exhausted after being simply awake for more than two hours, although

he still needs a long nap in the afternoon. He can hold a cup, though not if it’s full with a hot drink.

He’s able to move his legs somewhat while sitting in bed, but he has no idea if they’ll ever take his

weight again. He believes he remembers pretty much all the words he knew before, but he isn’t

certain, because they come more slowly than he was accustomed to and sometimes, in the middle of a

sentence, he wonders if he might have lost a few of them after all.

He’s taken out of the room, fully conscious this time, for a scan. He’s had those before, no big

deal. No need for knocking him out. He holds out for an eternity before he starts to shake and whimper

his distress. And he doesn’t even know what he’s afraid of.

“It will be kinder to give you a mild sedative, so you can sleep through it all. Three minutes

was exceptionally brave of you but we need you to lie still for almost an hour,” the doctor says.

Later, Doctor Nisha tells him his bones are healed, though several of them have suffered from

the compromise needed to keep him alive and perfectly set bones were not the main priority. But

bones are not the most complex element of a human body.

“The internal organs work as well as we might expect or even hope. That’s a huge plus

considering the facts. We had feared for your kidneys but you are one lucky man in this aspect, Mr

Gavan. And not just in this.”

Steve nods. “Daniël told me.”

“Your body has used up much of its muscles in the effort to heal itself. A special diet and

therapy will help you to build up strength. Just like your brain will have to work hard to compensate

for the damage caused by … well, we all know what happened and the weeks you were in coma. Your

body had to fight on so many fronts at the same time; one could say it had to make some tough

choices. It will take months, perhaps even years, before anyone will be able to draw the final

conclusions. But there’s no reason to assume you won’t get better than you are now.

“If you’ll ever walk again? I don’t know. Nobody knows. With injuries of this extent, there is

no way of predicting the future in such detail. But we’re going to try our best to give you at least a

chance to stand on your own two feet again.”

When the doctor has left again, Daniël sits closely to Steve and takes his lover’s hands in his

own. His smile is radiant; his kisses are warm and eager. “You’re doing so well. It takes a brave man

to point out their photos and give information, so the judge has more than enough reasons to put them

away for years and years. It was on the news, too. Mrs Goldman said a few words to the press. Told

them she and Mr Goldman are of one mind with the manager about how he deals with what’s

happening with the club right now. That she’s very proud that KTFC is at ninth position at the

moment. But knowing the gaffer, it’s not going to end there. You don’t remember her visiting us, do

you?”

“I might, without knowing.”

“It’s okay. You know her dad used to play for the Kinbridge Town youth team before the

family immigrated to the US, back in the early fifties? That’s why she loves football and this club in

particular.”

Steve smiles. “I read it in … can’t remember, when they bought the club. They brought Degaré

with them. Seems they were friends from way back. I was one of their first new acquisitions.”

“Stupid of me … anyway … fans have been sending so many emails and get well cards and

little presents and requests for information that the club had to hire two part-time secretaries to deal

with it. There were thousands of reactions from players and fans from other clubs as well. And it’s not

just England, or even Europe. But of course I’ve also thanked everyone on my blog, and more than

once, too. They will be so happy to read about your progress. By the way, has Matthew told you they

already made a banner for us? Right from the first match after the press conference. And it’s there

every single home game.”

Daniël sighs. “I’m just talking and talking. I wish I could make it all go away. All the pain and

the destruction and the fear. Just make it go away. But it’s not like on TV, now is it? All problems

solved in less than an hour.”

He’s so full of life, his Daniël. Not even months of being surrounded by hospital walls, unable

to fully stretch his wings, has changed that. A bit paler perhaps, his freckles less defined, definitely

thinner, but still with that special light shining in his eyes.

“And the boys are going to be so happy to hear about the scan. They already know about the

arrests. If they had any say in this, there wouldn’t be a trial. I think it’s the first time I’ve heard

Gabrysz say anything really nasty. But they’ll tell you themselves, with their next visit.”

“I won’t come back.” Steve didn’t expect the words leaving his mouth, nor the matter-of-fact

tone of his voice.

“I know.” Daniël doesn’t try to soften his reaction, doesn’t show him the many wonderful

things he’ll still be able to do once the healing process is as complete as possible. Steve already knows

football is of limited importance during the best of times; no need for Daniël to tell him that. He

won’t miss it, not even on days when missing it will hurt like hell.

“When they were kicking the life out of me in that park, there was this precise moment I knew

I would never play football again. I knew it for a fact. I didn’t care. Funny, perhaps less than half an

hour before I had been thinking about how I could find another club, if Kinbridge Town was going to

put me up for sale, and still be with you. And all of a sudden, it didn’t matter any more. It only matters

that the gaffer was there for you when I couldn’t be, that Matthew and Gael and all the others never

skip a day to make sure you’re never totally alone, that so many fans tell you they still want you in

their club. But during that one moment in Queen Elizabeth park, I said goodbye to what I believed was

more than just a job to me.”

“Do you also remember when you said goodbye to me?”

“At the very end, when everything else was gone.” Steve brings Daniël’s hands close to his

face and kisses the long, slender fingers. “Thank you for the press conference.”

“If I had done it sooner, you wouldn’t have walked in that park at that moment.”

“Those men who left me for dead could have walked away instead of attacking me. They could

have made hate chants about me for the next match and started an online campaign with other fans to

pressure the owners and the manager to get rid of me. It’s not something that gets talked about a lot,

but it wouldn’t be the first time it happened. The men running away because they knew the sort of

bastards that were approaching could have warned me or even turned around, and together we would

have had a fighting chance. But hey, then they would have run the risk of having to tell their wives and

families and colleagues and friends about what they were really doing during ‘overtime’ or ‘the night

out with the lads.’ They’ll have to deal with their consciences in their own way. You heard the

policewoman telling us there had been exactly one anonymous phone call from that group. Two days

later. That I was found more or less by accident, because there had been a bar fight at a nightclub, not

even a ten minute walk away, and a couple of policemen were on their way to assist their colleagues.”

So many slow words. So much silence between the words. So much patience from Daniël.

“I know it was their choice to attack you until they were pretty much certain you were dead, of

the others to run away from you and leave you at the mercy of those bastards.”Daniël sighs.

“Sometimes I wish I was guilty of something, at least then I could try to pay for my shortcomings.

This is so … I just wish I knew…”

“Without you, there was no chance I would have made it. When I was so far gone I didn’t know

how to find my way back, I still remembered I had to return to you.”

For a few moments they sit in silence, their fingers enlaced. Then hospital reality takes over

and Steve is once more reminded that eating a small plate of mashed potatoes and white fish is a task

that takes all of the skills he recently mastered. His coordination is still shaky at best and by the time

he’s halfway through even this moderate amount of food, he’s exhausted. He’s thankful when Daniël

holds the beaker with the protein shake so he just has to sip it through a thick straw.

*

When Arnaud Degaré visits that night, together with Gael and Francesco, Steve uses the time

Daniël needs to get some coffee for the visitors to ask him for a favour.

The manager smiles his agreement. “Of course I’ll be happy to see Daniël during the next

training. The boys will be thrilled. And I can see for myself that he certainly could use a bit of real

exercise instead of a walk around the hospital and doing stretches between the beds. I’ll make sure

there won’t be any press to bother him.”

But when Daniël hears about the plans for him, he simply shakes his head. “I’m not leaving

you alone. Not for hours on end.”

“You need it. Please, Danny, just try it? Fresh air, running and kicking the ball …”

Being among healthy people …

“No.” Daniël doesn’t give in that easily.

“If I stay with Steve, would that be all right?” Gael offers spontaneously. “You agree, gaffer?”

“Now you see, sweetheart, you’re out-numbered.” Steve pulls on Daniël’s shirt sleeve to get

him closer and whispers in his ear, “I bet you’ll smell all nice when you get back after training.”

“Hey guys, get a room,” Francesco blurts out. He grins from ear to ear, hiding his blush behind

a curtain of deep black hair.

“You’re just jealous,” Daniël teases and he gives Steve a short, sweet kiss.

Francesco pouts. And once again, Steve wonders why Dan has chosen him over the

heartbreakingly beautiful Spanish-Italian boy, even though Francesco has been dating his girlfriend

for over a year now. But, he guesses, such are the strange and mysterious ways of love.

*

As expected, Gael proves to be pleasant company. He’s not above a bit of innocent gossip

about the club when Steve asks him how things are going in general, but when the conversation stops

he simply sits next to be the bed, takes out his book and reads. Now and again, he looks at the other

man, smiles, then returns to reading again. Handing Steve a glass of water when he asks for it. Asking

questions about his hand and arm exercises.

Would he do for Matthew what Daniël did for him? Leaving everything and everyone behind to

sit quietly next to a hospital bed for weeks on end, with just a sliver of hope to hold on to?Of course,

he will never ask this question. There’s no need; it doesn’t take that much of his imagination to know

that both Gael and Matthew have not only thought about it, but most likely have even spoken about it.

What would I do …? What would you do …?

Hidden under that, there’s the real question. What if it had been you?

Gael reads, sometimes looks up and smiles. Says a few words and reads again.

The doctor said months, years. And even then it’s not certain if all the endlessly complicated

connections between instruction and execution will ever work as seemingly effortlessly as they used

to. Once again, he can’t help but notice how young Daniël is, how full of life and promises for the

future. He is born to do things, to move, to compete, to have fun. He has a body that is clearly made to

be used to its full potential. Not meant to adapt to a slowed down existence far too many years before

old age. He’s a man, with needs that shouldn’t be put on hold just because they’re not convenient at

the moment, and won’t be for an unforeseeable time in the future. There is nothing but love and

devotion in his lover’s eyes. His touches are gentle, his kisses speak of patience. But he’s still only

human.

When Daniël returns from training, he glows with health and joy. He smells of grass and fresh

air. Steve wants to drink it in, close to tears because of the beauty of it all. His kiss is definitely that of

a lover, full of longing and lust. His hands, unobtrusive as they might be on Steve’s arms, tell the

same story as his lips. He’s full of brand new stories and stupid jokes to tell. Such a change from the

too quiet, too pale boy who has given up so much to be with him.

“Oh Steve, it was so great to dribble the ball, do a five-a-side, run until I was out of breath, hit

the back of the net, even though I saw that Kurt was distracting Gabrysz on purpose. Thank you so

much for asking the gaffer.” He looks at Gael, who’s still waiting at the door to say his goodbyes and

who seems mostly amused by the can’t-stop-moving boy. “Thanks for being here.”

Then he turns to Steve again, to cradle his face between his hands.

“I loved it so much being on that pitch.”

Steve feels soft lips on his forehead.

“The first contact with a ball in months.”

The lips travel, kiss by kiss, to his right cheek.

“I’m so going to feel my muscles tomorrow.”

More kisses until the other cheek has been reached, with a short stop at his chin.

“Being tackled and feeling the grass under me.”

The softest of kisses on his lips.

“And still I’d leave it all behind to be with you. Rather be with you than winning every single

trophy available in Europe.”

More kisses.

“It lost so much of its meaning without you. I loved the exercise, trying out to see if my skills

are still any good, having a laugh with the guys, but I guess in a way I said goodbye.”

Steve has to ask to be sure. “You’re thinking about leaving football? Or has anyone said

anything to you? There’s still a place for you, isn’t there?”

“No idea. Don’t care. I can play football without being paid for it. Or run just because I love it.

I’ll see what happens when you’re home again.” He seems to think Steve still looks too worried. “And

no one suggested anything about me leaving the club or leaving the game. They missed you, too, and I

could see they meant it. They don’t want me gone but it’s not up to them. Not all of it.”

“It’s your career, dear boy, and so much more than that.” Steve kisses Daniël on the cheek

because he hopes he can still taste a bit of the world outside. “You have ten or more years on this level

ahead of you. I think you still don’t realise how incredibly talented you actually are. I’ve been

wondering how much longer Kinbridge Town can hold on to you, before one of the big clubs snatches

you away. That’s not something you carelessly shove aside.”

“I’m not worried about it.” Daniël smiles at Steve. “I love football but I really love you.”

Steve knows what he has to say next, but it takes him more than a day to actually say it.

Chapter 13

“Daniël?”

The boy looks up from his laptop.

“Can we talk?”

The smiling face becomes cautious. The dear soul feels a storm is brewing. Steve knows he

must be strong now. No use in stalling the inevitable. Facing the truth and dealing with it isn’t cruel.

Absolutely painful, perhaps even harsh, but also in a way, the kindest thing he could possibly do.

Daniël sets his laptop aside and takes Steve’s hands in his own. “Something’s bothering you?

Something the doctor said? Are you worried you’re not going to get better?”

He has to say the words. They need to be said. Not just in his head, but out loud so his beloved

can hear them and, in a way, he can hear them himself. He needs the reality of the sound of his own

voice.

“I love you. You know that, don’t you?” He feels the truth of these words in the marrow of his

bones, in the very core of his heart, but it’s not how he planned this talk.

Daniël leans forward to kiss him. “Silly man, as if I would ever doubt that.”

Steve smiles, despite the panic forming in his head and limbs. He almost hopes the police

come in to ask about the most gruesome details, again. Or that the doctors have to do some timeconsuming

and somewhat painful tests.

He’s honest enough with himself to admit he doesn’t want this. He’d be perfectly happy

holding Daniël’s hands and sharing a few kisses and talking about nothing in particular. But that

would be selfish, and Daniël deserves more than that. He deserves to hear the words lingering in

Steve’s mind. “Please, you will let me finish what I have to say, even if you don’t like it at first, or if

it perhaps confuses you?”

Daniël frowns. “One of the doctors told you something that scared you? Has it something to do

with your recovery? When I was at the Graces, training? I knew I shouldn’t have gone.”

“Listen, please?”

Daniël nods, finally agreeing to Steve’s request.

“I understand the doctor perfectly well. It will take months to get me as healthy and mobile as

possible. I’m brain damaged and I’ll never again be the man I was. My days as a footballer are over; a

bit early, but at my age, that’s something I can live with.” Steve pauses, thankful that Daniël doesn’t

protest at the first opportunity. The grip of his fingers around Steve’s hand is telling enough,

though.“You still have a chance. You’re young, healthy. Perhaps a bit out of practice, but a few weeks

of training should take care of that. If Kinbridge Town can’t keep you, I’m sure there are still clubs

who’ll be more than eager to contract you, once the storm quiets down a bit.”

Daniël starts to laugh. “That’s it? You’re still worried about my career? You know I was set to

go to university before Kinbridge offered me a contract. I can still do that.”

“Look at me, Danny, really look at me. You have your whole life ahead of you. I’m not saying

that it won’t hurt me, or hurt you, but the pain will heal in time. You will give so many people the joy

of your talent. You will find love. Don’t throw it all away.”

The laughter dies. Daniël shakes his head in furious denial; his eyes wide and dark in a ghostly

pale face. He’s still clutching Steve’s hands.

“You gave me a reason to live when all that beckoned me was death. You were with me at my

darkest hour. You didn’t abandon me when the monsters were tearing me apart. Now let me give you

your life back. Please, Daniël, this is the only gift of any value I have to give to you. There is so little

left of me.” His voice is reduced to a whisper, he’s close to begging. “I’ll give a press conference to

declare that this is my idea, that it is me asking you to leave. That you were and are a loyal friend, but

it’s time to ...”

Abruptly, Daniël stands up, not accepting another word. For a second, he stands tall and with a

rage able to stop Death in its tracks. Then the expression of his face changes and his legs give out.

The sadness of the boy is unbearable to watch. He huddles on the floor against the bed where

he’s been sleeping every night for the last few months. His face hidden against his knees, his

shoulders shaking violently with the sobs that seem to crush him like a tidal wave.

Instinctively, Steve stretches his hand out as far as he’s able to, but he can’t reach his

distressed lover. He sees how his gift, the sacrifice of letting Daniël go in order to make sure his

beloved can lead a normal life, turns out to be the very source of such deep sorrow. These are not the

tears of a regretted but unavoidable goodbye. Daniël isn’t trying to hold back what has to be accepted

in the end. He isn’t mourning for all that has been lost, what has been taken from him and can never be

given back in full.

In all his good intentions, Steve had failed to see the truth for what it is: he’s trying to spare

himself, not the man he claims to love. What worth has a sacrifice that hasn’t been asked for? Why

does he consider the brooding in his own head, about being too much of a burden for the younger man,

of more value than the look in his lover’s eyes? No one, no matter how strong and motivated and

healthy, can stay in this environment for so many weeks on end, and still be the person he was. The

few moments outside during the day, if he can avoid the press and the fans, are not enough to let

Daniël keep a healthy colour. The lack of regular exercise results in a decline of muscle definition,

like his body retreats to the boyish lankiness of its youth. Tiredness creeps in. A certain sadness. And

yet, every single time he looks into Daniël’s eyes, he sees light and warmth and the sheer pleasure that

comes from being with someone whose company gives him nothing but joy. Of being exactly where

he wants to be. Many look at him with compassion, admiration, quite a few with genuine friendship,

but Daniël is the only one who sees him through the eyes of a lover.

Perhaps it was for that very reason he told the boy to go. For he no longer can fool himself into

believing it’s all because of Daniël’s needs. How much can love endure before it slowly caves in under

the pressure? Before its fire is no longer even a smouldering ember? Before the light dies and bitter

duty takes its place?

The boy sobs his heart out because he sees his love, given from a transparent heart and without

asking more in return than Steve is able to give, thrown back at him for reasons that are altruistic at

most on the outside. Honest love is being met with paternalism disguised as concern.

Being confronted with the stark reality of the limits of his body, with little hope of becoming

fully independent again in all aspects as is normally expected from a grown man, he can’t imagine

Daniël seeing that same body and accepting it for what it is. They are in an extremely physical

profession. Injuries or even simply being past 30, 35, will be enough to be forced to look somewhere

else. Another club, lower in the hierarchy. Another job altogether. The time between being a promise

for the future and being past absolute prime isn’t much more than a handful of years for most. And

what happened to him surpassed everything that still could count as ‘he’s getting a bit older’ or ‘he

went never really back to his old form after that broken ankle.’ So how can Daniël look at the ruins of

the healthy, able bodied man to whom he said “See you in two days” and still want it above everyone

and everything else?

“I’m not even able to hold you.” By whatever undeserved mercies, the words that leave his

mouth this time are the right ones. The desperation revealed by that handful of simple words is as

honest as the truth of them.

Daniël looks up and rubs his eyes. His face is blotched, with snot running from his nose. He

gets on his feet again, takes a towel still lying on the bed from a few hours ago when he had washed

his hair, and uses it to clean his face provisionally. Then he grabs a couple of pillows and turns to

Steve.

He kicks off his shoes. “But I’m able to hold you.”

With infinite care, he helps Steve to turn on his side, arranging the pillows so they support his

back, and gets on the bed. He uses one arm to support his lover’s head and neck, while the other

embraces him. Their bodies are touching from head to feet.

“I missed holding you in my arms so much,” Daniël whispers. “You’re comfortable?”

Steve nestles himself against Daniël’s slightly taller body. “Is nice, this.” He feels himself

calm down, like he finally, after a long journey, has arrived at the place where he belongs. His muscles

relax; his breathing becomes more free and easy. Daniël’s heartbeat is like a song that he can’t get

enough of. The steady rising of his lover’s chest, the slight weight of his arm, the subtle pressure of

his lips against Steve’s forehead make it possible for him to say: “I wasn’t thinking. I was thinking too

much. Can you forgive me?”

“Say that I’m very lucky, and there’s still a club willing to pay me a good salary to play for

them. Perhaps Kinbridge Town, perhaps another one. Doesn’t matter. Assume I’ll be active as

professional football player for another ten, fifteen years. That makes me not even forty. Who knows,

maybe I’ll die when I’m past eighty. You tell me that I should give up half a century of being with the

man I love, for most likely hardly more than ten years of getting paid for a hobby I happen to be fairly

good at? I’m still young, but I already know that’s not how I want to look back on my life.

“Any player, who would make the next game more important than his brutally attacked wife

when she needs him the most, would be spit out by the fans and the media. Why should I treat our love

with any less care than would be expected of me if you had been a woman? If that’s what it takes to be

a high level professional player, if that’s what clubs, sponsors and fans expect of me, simply because

you and I are both men, then I have no business being a footballer.” Daniël pauses for a moment. He

glides his hand over Steve’s side and back as if to tell himself this is really happening.

Then he continues, his words a fast flow he can’t seem to stop any more than the tears ten

minutes earlier. “You did nothing worse than what was taught to us: to be second class people with

second class relationships. Oh, it’s perfectly normal nowadays, society has become all modern and

open; it’s just not me or any other footballer. If we’re really clever, we make some cryptic remarks

during interviews and hope a few get the message, because hiding your true nature hurts so fucking

much. And if they confront us, we can always say it was a joke. I did the same thing before that night.

Of course we kept silent, of course we were discreet. It’s all private, isn’t it? They don’t tell us the

intimate details of their sex lives, so why should I kiss you goodbye at the airport when we have

international duty?

“You tried to send me away out of love, because you thought it was for the best. But at least

you could have asked me about my biggest fear. Or were you afraid I wouldn’t tell you the truth out of

pity?”

“Will you walk out of the door when it is time for you to go?” Steve has to ask.

“Unless you start having an affair with that cute male nurse who gave you your sponge bath

yesterday, why should I? I’m not here because I think it’s my duty. If I had been your best friend, I

would have visited you once, perhaps twice a week, but I would not have bribed the hospital to let me

stay. I’m in love with you, Steve. You know, in love, as in sexually attracted, wanting to be

romantically involved? Set up a home with you? Share my life with you? Grow old with you?”

Daniël’s kiss leaves nothing to the imagination about what he wants to express. And Steve

leans happily into that kiss, perhaps not fully understanding why this beautiful, inside and out, young

man wants him this much, but for once accepting it without question.

“The programme to get you more mobile starts tomorrow. I’m so looking forward to that,”

Daniël says. “Getting you out of this room.”

“I guess we could both use a bit of air and exercise,” Steve acknowledges, although for the

moment he’s perfectly happy where he is.

Daniël’s hand roams Steve’s body as far as he can reach.

“Changed a lot, didn’t it?”

Daniël nods, while continuing his exploration over, and then, so very shyly, under Steve’s

pyjama top. The hand feels warm and safe.

“Thank god you’re wiser than I am,” Steve sighs. “I can’t bear to think about if you had done

what I told you and walked out of ....” Then, mid-sentence: “Set up a home with me? Grow old with

me? Are you trying to ...?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I guess I am.”

Some decisions are too important to waste time and thought over. “Yes. I’ll marry you.”

“Good. Since I’m not planning to go anywhere ever again without you, we might just as well

make it official.” And Daniël kisses him, while taking him even more tightly in his arms.

“Uh, boys, you could perhaps wait till the actual wedding night? You know, the night after the

wedding?”

They look up, startled.

Matthew grins, Gael right behind him with the same silly smile.

“I’m just sampling the goods,” Daniël jokes. But he still gets out of the bed, making sure Steve

is returned to the most comfortable position. Then he turns to the other two men and says, “Did we tell

you already this hot piece of man isn’t only freshly engaged to the luckiest guy in the world, he’s also

going to start rehabilitation therapy?”

Steve hears the three of them talk and talk and talk. Too exhausted from the storm of emotions,

he isn’t able to contribute much, so he simply lets himself be wrapped in the warmth of their presence

and gentle words.

His hand safely in Daniël’s.

Chapter 14

Within three days, all the guys (including the reserves) have been paying a visit to ask, “Is the

skipper pulling our legs, the two of you engaged to be married and all?”

To be honest, Steve needs a bit of time to get used to the idea. One moment he’s desperately

trying to set Daniël free and the next he’s almost casually saying yes to a between-the-lines marriage

proposal. But what if it was all a misunderstanding? Perhaps Daniël was just trying to reassure Steve

he still loved him after what had happened? Was he being too nice, too decent, to admit he didn’t

actually mean to say he wanted to formalise their bond? Did he not want to embarrass Steve in front of

Matthew and Gael when they entered the room and heard what they heard?

But as soon as the other two are gone Daniël gets his mobile out. “Mum and dad just have to

hear this. They will be over the moon for us.”

It’s too fast, but he understands Dan’s need to share the big news with his family before they

read it in the paper, and so he nods and smiles and thinks it’s okay, really. If the man he loves always

talks with such warmth and affection about his parents, then they can’t be anything else but be good

people.

And it is okay. He hears a lot of Dutch words, with his own name as a familiar sound laced

between them. With his free hand, Daniël fiddles with the sleeve of Steve’s pyjama top. Then,