Текст книги "Perfection"
Автор книги: R. L. Mathewson
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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 19 страниц)
Chapter 31
How in the hell had he fucked up so badly? he wondered as he signaled for the bartender.
It was that damn arrangement.
Of all the fucked up things he'd done in his life that was one he wished he could go back and change that night. He'd probably already been half in love with the stubborn woman when he'd come up with that asinine idea. What in the hell was wrong with him suggesting something like that?
If his mother was still alive she'd bitch slap him into tomorrow for pulling that shit. She'd raised him to respect women even if he didn't particular care for them and his uncles backed up that little lesson with the unspoken promise of an ass whooping if he ever forgot. Before Zoe there was no question that he'd been an asshole, still was, but he'd never treated any of the women in his life the way he treated her, like she was nothing but a convenience to him.
The fucked up part about the whole thing was that the only woman he'd ever truly cared about and loved was the one he treated like she didn't exist while he paraded women around who he couldn't have given a flying fuck about because of the way they looked.
He let out a humorless snort of laughter at that.
Most of the women he'd dated in the past had annoyed the shit out of him and could never manage to keep his attention, but his frumpy little tenant had him practically drooling after her twenty-four-seven. He was so fucking in love with her that he felt sick and empty when she wasn't around and so unbelievably happy when he saw her that he couldn't believe his own stupidity.
This was all his fault. If he could go back and change things he would. Instead of offering sex like he was doing her a favor he should have done what any normal man would do for the woman he couldn't stop thinking about and asked her out, begged if he had to. He loved spending time with her and could easily think of a thousand things he'd like to do with her, but he'd been stupid and selfish.
If only he could go back and change things......
Well, he wouldn't change the pregnancy. It had only been a day since he found out about it, but already he was excited about the future. It didn't matter if his baby had reading problems like him, he'd be there for his kid and support him and of course teach him how to beat the shit out of anyone who made fun of him. Of course Jason's kids would probably be insanely smart and hopefully would be there for Trevor's kid the way Jason had been there for him.
He hoped his child didn't have an obsession with food, but judging by the way Zoe was devouring her burger he figured that wish was useless. Wait a minute........
Hadn't Zoe ordered baked ziti for herself? He sighed heavily as he gestured for the busy bartender once again. Well, it looked like he was going to go hungry for the next six or seven months, which was fine with him. As long Zoe and his baby were happy then he'd learn to deal.
But she certainly didn't look happy, not the way she had when he showed up at their bedroom door with flowers. Then she'd looked so heartbreakingly beautiful with that little shy smile. It didn't hurt that her outfit highlighted all of his favorite curves. He had to stop himself from grabbing her and showing her how much he liked what he saw and remind himself that they had a date.
A date that was not going very well, which again was all his fault. If he hadn't gone out of his way to ignore her and try to keep her at an arm's length he wouldn't be in this mess right now. She didn't believe that he loved her or wanted her, which now that he thought about it was pretty fucking stupid.
How the hell could she not see that he was in love with her?
Had he dated or shown any interest in any woman since they came together? No. He'd been faithful to her even if she hadn't expected it. He'd also spent every free second of his time with her and came up with a million excuses just to be near her. Hell, he even told the woman that he loved her, he thought, getting a little angry over all the bullshit.
"What can I get you?" the bartender asked when he finally came over.
"All set," Trevor said instead of ordering the apple juice Zoe had asked him to get just to make him to leave the table, because she was angry with him and everyone who wouldn't take a fucking hint and leave him alone or because she was a sneaky little food thief, he didn't know, but right now he also didn't care. They had some things to settle and they were damn well going to settle them now.
"Why the hell did you just brush me off like that?" Hank demanded, stepping in his path and blocking him from his goal.
"Because I was busy just like now," he said, moving to step around the man only to find himself blocked again. Why in the hell hadn't he told this douche bag off years ago? He couldn't stand the prick on a good day and today definitely was not a good day.
"I don't understand your problem," Hank said, shoving his fingers through his overly gelled hair. "Every time I offer to do you a favor by introducing you to some really hot women you blow me off. Maybe instead of acting like an asshole you could show me some appreciation by stop busting my balls and coming to meet some of these women," he said, raising his voice with every word so that everyone around them could hear, including Zoe.
He didn't need this asshole making things more difficult and to be honest, and really when was he not honest with himself? he was sick and tired of dealing with him.
"My problem is that you can't take a fucking hint. I have no interest in being your wingman. Unlike you, I don't need help to get laid. Now get the fuck out of my way. I have something a hell of a lot more important to do than stand here and deal with your bullshit," he said, shouldering his way past the man as he headed towards Zoe, who looked a little nervous.
Good.
He wanted her nervous because that meant she was no longer sure that he was playing around. By the time he was through with her she was going to know exactly how much he loved and adored her. Hell, by the end of the night he fully expected an apology for ever doubting him, accompanied of course with one of her delicious sandwiches otherwise the apology didn't count. Then he would-
"Maybe if you weren't so busy sniffing around some fat ugly bitch you wouldn't need my help," Hank announced smugly as he gave Trevor's shoulder a good shove.
The first punch had been automatic and so quick that he hadn't really had much time to think about it. By the fifth punch he wasn't thinking about anything else but killing the bastard.
"Don't you ever call her that again," he snapped, following the bastard to the floor with a wild punch as he shrugged off several guys trying to pull him off the sobbing man.
"Stop!" Zoe cried as she latched onto his arm just as he pulled it back to let it go flying again. "Please stop!"
Somehow he managed to stop, but just barely. Panting heavily, he stood up and took Zoe's trembling hand into his. After one last glare at the man cowering on the floor he pulled Zoe behind him, dropping enough money to cover their tab on their table and headed for the door. He wasn't too surprised when he found Jeff, the manager, waiting for him.
"You're banned," the man informed him as if he really gave a damn.
With a curt nod he continued out the door, dragging Zoe with him. He wanted to go back in there and beat the shit out of the man until he passed out and then do it again when the son of a bitch came to.
"Trevor? Please slow down," Zoe said, sounding out of breath.
Instead of slowing down he scooped her up in his arms and headed towards his truck at the same clipped pace. There was no way he could slow down right now because if he did he really wasn't sure what he would do at the moment and actually scared him.
**********
"Give me the keys, Zoe," Trevor said in a deceptively calm voice, but she wasn't buying it.
She'd honestly never seen anyone look so livid before in her life and with her big mouth she'd pissed off a lot of people. If she hadn't seen him in action not five minutes ago she would think she was overreacting, but she had seen him and there was no way she was letting him get behind the wheel of a truck while he was acting like this.
"No," she said, shaking her head firmly as she backed up tightly against the passenger door in the truck's cab. "I'll drive," she offered, hoping that he'd take her up on her offer so that they could go home and calm down.
"I'm fine, Zoe. Give me my keys," he bit out as he reached over to snag the keys away from her, but before he could grab them she moved her hand behind her back to get them out of his reach.
"Let me drive so that you can calm down," she said, looking around the almost pitch black parking lot and wishing there was someone around to talk some sense into him.
"I don't need to calm down, Zoe, I just need my goddamn keys so I can bring you home," he said, moving closer to her and she was half thinking about opening her door and making a run for it so she could call Jason or Jared and have them come deal with him, because honestly she was not in the mood to deal with this tonight.
"I-" she opened her mouth to let him know that once they got home he was either going to give her the key to her apartment or she was going to break the door down when he cut her off.
"And when we get home, Zoe, I swear I'm going to spank your ass for all the bullshit you put me through tonight," he said, startling her.
"What the hell did I do? If anyone here has any right to be mad here it's me," she snapped.
"No, sweetheart, I believe that would be me," he said, moving until he was close enough to reach behind her and gently yank the keys away from her without hurting her.
Knowing it was useless to argue anymore, especially since he did seem more in control right now, except for that little muscle throbbing just above his jaw and the tight grip that he had on the steering wheel, she pulled her seatbelt on.
"Why exactly do you think you're entitled to be pissed at me?" she asked, twisting in her seat to glare at him and silently daring him to say something that would get his shin kicked, hard.
Had he been ignored all night? Had he had a two-hundred and fifty pound man almost sit on top of him? Was he forced to sit there while man after man came and hit on her? Had he-
"Because I told you that I'm in love with you, Zoe, and you gave me the brush off," he said, shocking her more than she would have ever thought possible. "Do you have any idea how many women I've said that to?" he asked, not bothering to look at her as he navigated the back roads home.
"I don't know," she answered quietly.
"Only you, Zoe. I've never said it to another woman, never had to and do you know how it made me feel when you dismissed me the way you did?" he demanded. "Or how it felt to be rejected after I told you that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you?"
He didn't give her a chance to speak and that was probably for the best since he'd left her speechless.
"I love you, Zoe, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I swear if you tell me some bullshit like it's only because of the baby I will pull this truck over and give you the spanking you have coming," he said, making her eyes tear up, not because she actually thought he'd hurt her, he wouldn't, but because he made her feel loved.
No one ever took care of her before the way he did, or looked after her or just made her smile. The few times she'd had a boyfriend none of them ever defended her the way he did. Most of them simply ignored it or dumped her.
As difficult as it had been the first time she trusted Trevor, she realized she was going to have to do it again and risk her heart, because she knew there would never be another man that made her feel the way he did or loved her as much as she hoped he loved her.
"At this point I don't know what the hell to say or do to show you how much you mean to me. I tell you I love you and you play it off. I tell you I want to buy you a house where we can raise our family and you ignore it. I know tonight was not the best first date, but you know what?" he asked, pulling onto their street. "I don't care if no one knew we were together for the last couple of months and I could care even less if they have a problem with it."
He pulled into their driveway and threw the truck in park and killed the engine, but he didn't make a move to leave. "I don't care what I have to do, Zoe. I'm not letting you go. I've fucked up big time and I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do to change the past. I won't sit here and lie to you and tell you that I'll never screw up again because we both know that I will, but I will never hurt you on purpose, Zoe. You have to know that."
Trevor sighed heavily as he rubbed his hands down his face. "I'm not going to push you tonight, Zoe, but you need to understand that I'm not letting you go. Not now, not ever. I'll let you return to your apartment if that's really what you want, but you should know that if you move out I'll just buy the building or the one next to it and if you quit your job and go somewhere else I'll just follow you there, too," he said calmly, which was a little freaky, she had to admit.
"Oh my god, are you talking about stalking me?" she asked, trying not to smile. It was really sweet in a Bradford kind of way.
"Yes, but if it comes before a judge we'll just call it a little misunderstanding," he said with a shrug.
"And you really think the judge will buy that?" she asked, reaching for her door because she was exhausted and even though she was trusting him not to break her heart, she still needed a little more time to adjust to this and figure a few things out.
"Probably, they bought it the last few times so I have no doubt they'll buy it this time."
She was about to ask what he was talking about, but then decided it that it was probably for the best that she didn't know.
Chapter 32
"What the hell is wrong with me?" Trevor asked no one in particular in the dark living room, but Toby felt the need to answer him by licking his toes, again.
With a small sigh he pulled his foot back only to have Max take that as his cue to renew his earlier attack. He winced as he gently pulled his foot away from the playful pup and sat up, dropping his head back and wondering why he'd let Zoe push him away again.
Well, at least she wasn't sleeping in her own apartment tonight. That was progress, he thought as the two pups worked as one to pull his blanket away from him. To make them happy he made a half-hearted attempt to pull the blanket back, but after a minute he let them win. Of course if he hadn't snuck into her apartment four hours ago and shut off her heat she'd probably still be there "thinking".
For a solid week he'd forced himself to give her space so that she could "think." Although he was allowed to check up on her, bring her food, help take care of the dogs and take her to the doctor's to get her stitches out they hadn't talked much. Their conversations were short and sweet and did nothing to ease the nagging feeling in his gut that she was going to leave him.
If his uncle hadn't suspended his ass for a week from work for the incident at the bar he would have asked for the time off to help take care of Zoe. His uncle gave her a paid week's vacation so that she could catch up on some rest. Granted, he could have really done without the lecture, well, more like yelling when his uncle dropped by to tell him he was suspended.
Of course his uncle hadn't known the reason behind the fight and he hadn't told him because he didn't want to embarrass Zoe again. He allowed his uncle to rant about not acting like an idiot, especially when he had a baby on the way and that he was lucky that there were plenty of witnesses willing to state that they saw Hank put his hands on him first. After his uncle ripped him a new one, Jared went next door and from what he could hear, fussed over Zoe for the next hour.
His uncle was kind enough to stop by to see him on his way out to tell him that he'd kick his ass the next time he got into a bar fight. Then again his uncle had stopped by the next day with a six pack and a grunted apology for threatening to kick his ass. As it turns out his uncle overheard the real reason behind the fight when he walked to the coffee truck and heard Hank retell the tale with a few added choice words about Zoe. If his uncle hadn't fired the man on the spot, he was pretty sure he would have landed his ass in jail that night after he hunted the bastard down and beat his ass into a coma.
As much as he'd love to go pay that asshole another visit he had bigger issues to deal with, like the stubborn woman currently sleeping in his bed. If he couldn't fix this and get her to talk to him soon he was afraid that he would lose her for good and he wouldn't be able to handle that.
Which is of course is why he decided to take matters into his own hands.
First he'd shut off her hot water, hoping she'd come to him to fix it since she was a little bath addict. Had she? Nope. There'd been no knock on his door or yelling his name through the wall. So, he'd been forced to up his game.
He kidnapped the dogs.
When she went down for her mid-morning nap he snuck into her apartment, lured the dogs out with a pair of his boxers and as soon as his boys latched on, he dragged the growling pups as they did their damndest to rip his underwear apart. For four hours he waited for her to come looking for the boys and just when he was sure that he had her where he wanted her, the damn dogs demanded a walk, wrecking all his plans. After their ten minute walk through the slush he wasn't too surprised to find Zoe waiting in the hallway for the boys. That failure caused him to go a little further.
He kidnapped her.
Okay, so kidnapping might be an exaggeration, but he'd made damn sure that she wasn't going anywhere until she talked to him. Not only had he stolen the spark plugs out of her car, but he also placed her car on cement blocks and stolen her tires, just in case she had a set of spark plugs lying around the house somewhere. When that plan obviously failed he snuck into her apartment and shut her heat down.
Now that had definitely worked because not even an hour later she came knocking on his door, wrapped up in a blanket, shivering. Of course being the good landlord that he is he went and had a look and wouldn't you know it? The heater was broken. He came back and explained it to her as he generously offered his own bedroom.
After a slight hesitation she accepted his generous offer with a small smile and he patted himself on the back for another fine job. That is until she shut the bedroom door in his face and proceeded to take a long hot bath without him and he'd been forced to sleep on the couch with the two traitors.
"Why can't I catch a break?" he grumbled.
"Trevor?" she said, sounding unsure. "Are you awake?"
"Yeah, are you okay? Is it the baby?" he asked, getting to his feet to make sure she was okay.
"No, everything's fine. I was wondering if we could talk," she said hesitantly.
"Yeah, of course we can," he said, sitting down and gesturing for her to join him and prepared himself for a long night of arguing and pleading. He'd do anything to make her see how important she was to him.
Anything.
So when she sat down, straddling his lap he was admittedly a little surprised, pleased, but surprised. He gently gripped her hips while she adjusted herself on his lap.
"Is everything okay?" he asked quietly.
Her shrug wasn't exactly helpful.
Sighing, he leaned back and waited patiently while she drew shapes over his bare chest and stomach. After a few minutes she looked up as she chewed her bottom lip.
"What is it?" he whispered.
"I can't cook," she blurted out.
Fighting back a smile he said, "I, um, sort of figured that out, baby. If it really upsets you I'm sure we can find a cooking class that you can enroll in."
"I guess," she said, going back to tracing shapes on his skin.
"Is something else bothering you?"
"I also don't like sports," she admitted with a tiny shrug.
"Then we won't sign you up for football," he teased, earning a cute little glare.
"I'm also not pretty and I–ow! What the hell was that for?" she demanded and he was tempted to slap her ass again.
"You're beautiful, Zoe, and you damn well know it," he bit out.
"I'm plain, Trevor," she said simply.
"No, you're mine and that's all that matters," he said, leaning forward to steal a quick kiss. "And if anyone says anything different I'll beat the shit out of them."
She sighed heavily as she shifted on his lap and he did his damndest to ignore it. It had been a week since he touched her. Seven nights and days filled with ice cold showers. It wasn't exactly his favorite pastime, but she needed time and he was going to make sure he gave it to her.....as long as they were beneath the same roof that is. The minute she tried to leave all bets were off.
"Is something else bothering you?" he asked, running possibilities through his head when she gave him another shrug. A thought occurred to him, one that actually frightened him a little and made him realize that he had something to tell her, something she probably wasn't going to want to hear, but had a right to know.
"Zoe, I have to tell you something," he said, his hands tightening around her hips to stop her from running away from him.
He planned to keep her right where she was until she calmed down, even as he prepared himself for the same look of disgust he saw on his father's face or the look of pity on his mother's when they were told. No matter what he wouldn't allow her to leave until he explained things to her. He didn't want her to worry about their baby, but he also thought she should hear it from him before one of his meddling relatives let it slip.
"Trevor, what's wrong?" she asked, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair, pushing it off his forehead and reminding him that he needed another haircut. Then again he might keep it the length it was just so she could run her fingers through it. He loved the way she touched him even when she was only offering comfort.
Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to meet her eyes. "I have to tell you something because it might affect the baby one day, but I don't want to freak you out."
"Okay," she said slowly, eying him warily, "but you do realize that there's no way I can't freak out after you start off like that? Now you've got me thinking you have some freaky disease or something."
"No, it's nothing that bad," he promised. "It's just that......" He hated telling her this, hated anyone knowing for that matter. "I'm dyslexic," he admitted softly, forcing himself to hold her gaze.
When her brows arched up in surprise he knew this was going to be bad. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut and-
"And?" she asked.
"That's it," he said, frowning when her expression didn't morph into disgust or pity.
She rolled her eyes. "I already knew that," she said, scoffing as she went back to tracing shapes on his chest.
"You knew? How the hell did you know?" he demanded, wondering which bastard in his family had ratted his ass out.
"It wasn't too hard to figure out, Trevor," she murmured, looking totally enthralled with what she was doing.
"What the hell does that mean?" He'd been careful, very careful. He'd never read anything in front of her, never wrote anything more than his name or a word or two in her presence. There was no way she could have found out without one of his interfering relatives clueing her in. "Who the hell told you?"
Zoe rolled her eyes even as she leaned over to press a quick kiss on his lips, which made him slightly happy, but not enough to forget that he needed to kill one of his relatives.
"You never read anything around me. You think you tricked me into reading for you. Then there was the time we ran out of condoms and you flipped out because you thought there was supposed to be 42 condoms in the box of 24."
"Would it have killed them to put a few extra condoms in the box so that you could have seen to my needs?" he asked, remembering that damn night and trying not to wince. Okay, so maybe he gave himself away...just a little.
"The point is," she said, pressing another sweet kiss against his mouth. "Is that I'm not going to worry about it when there are more frightening things to think about."
"Like what?" he asked, biting back a groan when she continued to kiss a path along his jaw.
"How we're going to afford to feed another Bradford. We both might have to take second jobs," she said, tracing her tongue down his neck.
He dropped his head back, allowing her more access as her words sank in. "We? Does this mean you're going to marry me?" he asked even though he already decided she was marrying him no matter what. Informing her that they were getting married was just a courtesy since he couldn't think of one single Bradford that had ever proposed.
His Uncle Jared had simply told his Aunt Megan to meet him at the courthouse for lunch and when she showed up he had the Justice of the Peace ready to go and all the exits blocked. His cousin Jason simply told Haley they were getting married and just in case she tried to change her mind or make a run for it he'd married her two days later. His uncles and cousins had done pretty much the same thing and as far as he knew that's what all the men in his family had done for generations, so really she should at least appreciate the fact that he'd at least told her beforehand.
She really should be thanking him for his consideration.
"I'm thinking about it," she said against his neck and the only reason he wasn't pulling her over his lap and spanking her was because he could tell she was just teasing him, well, she damn well better be just teasing him.
"You are," he said, trying to sound smug when she was actually making him a little nervous.
"Uh huh, we can discuss this afterwards with a few other things," she said as she kissed and licked his neck as her greedy little hands slid over his chest and stomach.
"After what?" he asked, groaning long and heaving when her little fingers teased his nipples.
"After you fulfill your end of our arrangement," she said, slightly moaning and driving him out of his goddamn mind.
"Our arrangement is over," Trevor bit out, shifting his legs apart to make room in his now too tight boxer briefs.
"It's not over until we come up with a new arrangement and I have a few ideas about that, but we'll talk about that afterwards," she said, between kissing his neck and running her sneaky little hand between them to caress one of the most painful erections he'd ever had in his life.
"Huh?" he somehow managed to ask as he pushed her hair off her neck so he could return the favor for driving him out of his mind.
"After you fuck me of course," she said, making him smile with appreciation.
God, how he loved his demanding little tenant.
