Текст книги "Perfection"

Автор книги: R. L. Mathewson

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Chapter 27

"Look, I can leave if you want," Jason said, moving to stand up as he grabbed the remaining bag of food, but Trevor barely heard him as paced the living room never taking his eyes off the stairs where Zoe raced up only minutes before after she destroyed his entire world.

"Can you fucking believe her?" he demanded, but he didn't give Jason a chance to respond or if he did, Trevor didn't hear him.

He couldn't believe she'd just done that. "After everything I did for her?" he said, shaking his head in disgust. While he'd been ready to move forward with her she'd been looking to get out. Well, fuck her, because he didn't need her.

This wasn't going to last anyway. He'd have ended things in another fifty or sixty years with her. He'd never wanted anything permanent with her so this really didn't bother him. This was fine. This was more than fine, he thought as he drove his fist through the wall.

"Whoa! Calm the hell down!" Jason said, getting to his feet.

"You calm the hell down!" Trevor snapped, feeling ready to blow. "This is my fucking house!" he yelled, hoping she heard him. Never in his life had he been this angry.

"I don't fucking need her," he said, resuming his pacing as he shook off the pain in his hand. "I gave her a fucking place to live, a part-time job, I helped her find a job and I took care of her and she didn't do a goddamn thing for me," he said, getting more riled up as he paced the room. "Not one fucking thing!" he yelled, half hoping she'd hear him and come running back down the stairs so he could yell at her and make her see that she'd made a mistake.

"Maybe we should take this to your apartment," Jason suggested with a helpless shrug.

Trevor shook his head. "I'm not leaving! You hear me? If you want me to leave then you get your ass down here and tell me to my face to leave, because I'm telling you right now, it's not over until I say it is!" he yelled.

"Okay, time to go," Jason sighed as he grabbed Trevor and started pulling him towards the door.

"Get your fucking hands off me!" he snapped, shoving his cousin away. "I'm not leaving until she talks to me."

"Well, she's not going to talk to you if you keep yelling like some lunatic!" Jason snapped. "Calm the fuck down before you really mess this up. Right now she's just pissed and you can probably save this fucked up relationship, but if you keep acting like this and yelling she's going to call the cops and have your ass hauled out of here."

"My relationship is not fucked up," Trevor bit out harshly, but in a more restrained tone. The last thing he needed was to get sent to jail and give Zoe a chance to leave.

This wasn't over.

Not by a long shot.

She was his and she damn well knew it and she would remain his until he decided that he was done with her.

"There's nothing wrong with our relationship," he bit out distractedly as he paced the room, never taking his eyes away from the stairs.

"Oh, you don't think so? How about the fact that for the last two months the two of you have been trying to hide your relationship?" Jason asked, grabbing his attention in a big way.

"How did you-"

Jason rolled his eyes. "Puhlease, with the way that you were watching her, smiling whenever she was around or scaring every guy off that looked her way it was hard to miss."

Trevor shot the man a glare.

Jason simply shrugged. "Of course there were also the matching hickeys the two of you wore about a month back that kind of gave you away."

He didn't remember that, mostly because they'd gotten carried away several times.

"I was actually hoping that you wouldn't fuck this up. Zoe's good for you," Jason said, sitting back down and allowing the dogs to settle on his lap.

Trevor had to snort at that. "She's not good for me. She doesn't even come close to what I'm looking for," he pointed out.

"No, she's a thousand times better," Jason said quietly.

"How the hell can you say that?" he demanded, throwing another wistful look towards the stairs.

"Because you love her," Jason simply said, picking up a carton of beef and broccoli and offered some to the dogs.

Trevor opened his mouth to tell his cousin he was full of shit, but he couldn't.

On paper Zoe didn't meet any of his standards for a wife. She didn't come from a big family, but that didn't really matter to him anymore because he knew his family adored her. His uncle wouldn't have yelled at her if he didn't. She didn't have a lot of money, but that was okay because he did and he'd happily support her. He actually loved spoiling her and found himself looking for ways to please her.

Other than Haley she didn't have a lot of close friends that she confided in, but that was also okay because she could always confide in him and bitch about anything she wanted and he'd happily listen. She also wasn't the type of woman who made men drool, besides him, and got the attention of every guy in the room, but that was okay because none of them should be fucking looking at her anyway.

She also couldn't cook worth a damn, she sang off key, was a bit of a neat freak, bossy, demanding and perfect. He didn't need her to tell him that she loved him, because he knew by the way she looked at him and treated him that she loved him and he'd been a fucking idiot over the past two months. Instead of keeping the best thing in his life a secret he should have been dragging her out and enjoying being with her instead of punishing them both for his stupidity.

"What the fuck did I just do?" he whispered, wondering how he'd fucked this up and so fast. He'd treated her like shit and assumed she'd appreciate any attention he gave her. His father had been right all those years ago.

He was a fucking idiot.

"Besides put a hole in the wall and sending the woman you love crying hysterically out of the room?" Jason asked in an annoyingly calm tone. "You fucked up, but don't worry you'll do that a lot."

"Gee, thanks," Trevor said dryly.

"Not a problem," Jason said cheerfully as he started searching through the empty bags and containers. "Damn, it's all empty," Jason grumbled. "Could you go up there and grovel now so that we can get our asses back to my mother's house? I'm starving."

"Yeah, cause it's all about you," Trevor said wryly, turning to head up the stairs.

"It really is though," Jason readily agreed.

"I really don't know how Haley puts up with you."

Jason sighed heavily as he patted his own chest, "Adores. Me."

"Uh huh," Trevor agreed absently as he tried to figure out the best way to grovel to a woman. He'd never done it before. Usually within the first thirty seconds of a fight with a woman he'd simply walk away, but there was no walking away from Zoe.

She was everything to him.

"I'd bring one of the puppies with you to butter her up," Jason said, standing with Max in his arms. "Here, take this one."

Trevor took the puppy and started up the stairs only to pause halfway up. "Where are you going?"

"To give you some privacy," Jason said, heading towards the hallway door. "And to rummage through your kitchen to find something to eat before I pass out. You people aren't taking very good care of me," he bitched as he left with Toby hot on his heels. By now the dog knew the signs of a Bradford on the prowl for food and was making damn sure that he was there to take care of any crumbs left behind.

Petting Max, he slowly climbed up the stairs, wondering what the best way to go about groveling. Begging? On his knees? Promises to buy her the world? Because he'd do all that and more. He loved her and wanted to take care of her and show her how good it could be between them.

He paused at her closed door, wondering if he should knock or state his case behind the protection of the closed door where his balls would remain safe. After a slight pause and a silent apology to his balls in advance, he opened the door, more than ready to take his punishment like a man and frowned when he didn't encounter any flying books or yelling.

"Go find mommy," he said, putting the tiny pup down.

As he followed the puppy as it ran full speed towards the bathroom he wondered if maybe he should hit the pound and get another dog for her since she really loved dogs and he loved the look on her face when was getting puppy kisses. Maybe he should......

All thoughts of what he should do raced from his head as he spotted Zoe crumpled on the floor, lying near a small pool of blood. His heart dropped in his chest as he raced to her side, somehow remembering to be gentle with Max as he picked the dog up and moved him to the side. With a shaky hand he reached out and checked her pulse, praying and promising everything he had if she was okay.

She had to be okay.

He sighed with relief when he felt her pulse. "Baby? Zoe? Sweetheart," he said, resisting the urge to shake her, but barely. From what he could see she'd fallen and he didn't want to hurt her anymore.

"It's okay, Zoe," he said, wishing he'd been a fucking man and come after her and begged her to give him a chance when she ran out of the room instead of acting like an asshole. This was all his fault, he realized as he went to grab his phone out of his pocket only to remember that he took it out of his pocket and placed it on his aunt's kitchen table so that he wouldn't get it wet while he was doing dishes.

He needed to get her help, but he didn't want to leave her, he couldn't. For the second time since Zoe became a part of his life he was happy that he hadn't had the walls insulated.

"Jason!"

*******

"Sir, you need to calm down," the triage nurse said, probably for the hundredth time that hour.

"I'll calm down when you let me in there to see her," Trevor said, trying to pull out of his uncle and Jason's grasp as they tried to drag him away from the front desk.

"If you'd just have a seat, I'm sure someone will be with you in a moment," she said in that annoyingly calm tone that made him want to tear the place apart with his hands.

"That's what you said an hour ago!" Trevor snapped. "I want to see my girlfriend or at the very least have someone tell me how she is!" he snapped, fighting to get out of the restraint so that he could storm through the double gray doors and find Zoe.

For three of the longest hours of his life he'd been forced to stay in the emergency room's waiting area while doctors did god only knows what to Zoe. When his family wasn't reassuring him that she'd be okay or offering to get him something to eat they were taking turns trying to restrain him.

Never in his life had he appreciated his family more than today. When word got out that Zoe was hurt, every single one of them came running, except for Haley who'd been forced to stay away because no one wanted to take the chance of the babies catching a bug in the waiting room. He hadn't been pacing the waiting room ten minutes when the first flood of Bradfords came storming through the doors demanding to know how Zoe was. They didn't all know her, most of them hadn't met her, but she was important to him so that made her important to them. Plus it probably didn't hurt that she'd tipped them all off about the buffet last weekend.

"Let's go have a seat before she calls the nice security officers on you again," Jared said as he half-dragged/half-shoved Trevor back to the waiting room where a fresh group of Bradford males looked ready to take him to the ground if he moved so much as an inch out of the room again.

For a moment he actually considered going for the doors again just so they'd beat the shit out of him and give him a bed inside so he could go look for Zoe. Then he realized he wouldn't do much good for Zoe if they knocked him out or the nurse had him restrained to a bed since he was acting a bit insane at the moment.

"We should have lied about her family," Jason said, rubbing his hands down his face in frustration. "I should have told them I was her brother so I could find out what the hell was going on."

"I tried telling them that Zoe was my daughter, but the ice princess manning the desk wasn't having it," Jared said, looking like he'd aged ten years in the past three hours.

"I honestly don't know how she's managed," Jason said.

"Managed what?" Trevor said, glaring at a rather rotund man who stepped in his line of sight. The man noticeably started when he spotted Trevor and thankfully moved the hell out of his way so he could keep his eyes on the door.

"Being alone," Jason said softly. "I can't imagine how she did it all these years, having no one and nothing."

"She's not alone," Trevor bit out. "She has me."

"Until you fuck up again that is," Jason mused, looking thoughtful.

"I'm not going to fuck up again," he said between clench teeth.

His uncles, all six of them, sighed long and heavy. "Yes, you will," they pretty much said in unison so he decided to turn his glare on them, but only for a moment. He needed to keep his eye on the door so he could grab the next person who walked out wearing a hospital ID.

"You're a Bradford," Jared said with a careless shrug. "We always fuck up."

"That's not exactly helpful," Trevor said, quickly losing all those warm fuzzy feelings he'd had about his family five minutes ago.

"But it's the truth. We all fuck up when it comes to our women and you will too. The key is to make her love you more than you piss her off," Jason added. "It's a very delicate balance."

He shifted in his chair to scowl at his cousin. "How exactly is that helpful?"

Sighing heavily, Jason threw his arm over Trevor's shoulders and gave him a hard squeeze. "Don't worry. Once she gets over her crush on me, I'm sure she'll forgive you."

"You do realize that Zoe thinks you're insane, right?" Trevor asked distractedly as he threw another look at the double doors.

"But the point is that she does think about me," Jason said and Trevor appreciated the man's efforts to distract him from his worry. It was sweet really.

"Shit," Jason gasped, dropping his arm from around Trevor's shoulders to grab his side. "Bastard," he said, sucking in a breath.

Trevor stood up and gave his cousin a solid clap on the back. "Thanks for trying to cheer me up."

"Not a problem," Jason said, coughing, which only made Trevor feel kind of bad for elbowing the man in the ribs, but he quickly got over it when he saw the double doors open and a nurse and doctor roll a barely with it Zoe out in a wheelchair.

The doctor, a tall man who looked to be in his early forties, spoke with the triage nurse who threw him a dirty look and gestured their way. Trevor didn't wait for the doctor to approach. He rushed over to Zoe, barely pausing to shove a few of his cousins out of his way.

Seconds later he was dropping to his knees in front of the wheelchair, forcing the nurse to stop. His stomach clenched into a knot when he spotted the white gauze taped to her temple. He reached out to smooth the gauze over and offer her some comfort.

"Baby, I'm so sorry-ow!" He pulled his hand back, trying to shake off the slight sting. "What the hell was that for?" he snapped, making her wince and grab her head and making him feel like an asshole. Of course her head hurt.

"Don't," she sucked in a breath, "touch."

"I won't. I'm sorry, sweetheart," he whispered softly, too afraid to raise his voice and cause her any pain or discomfort. "Let's get you home where I can take care of you. Okay?"

Of course the stubborn woman shook her damn head, well, tried to at least. "Go away, Trevor," she said, noticeably wincing.

"Shh, baby, try to relax. You don't have to say anything. I'll take you home and take care of you."

"I.....don't want......you," she said, sucking in a breath. "Go...away."

Instead of getting mad, which under normal circumstances he probably would have done, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to the back of one of the hands that was holding her head tightly. If he didn't know that she had a head injury and was obviously out of it, he might have taken that personally, but he knew she loved him.

How could she not? He was so damn giving after all, he thought as he ducked out of the way before her blind swing could connect with his jaw. He ignored his family's obvious amusement and decided he'd use her, hopefully, temporary little disabled state and show her just how giving he really was.

Chapter 28

"It's over," Zoe said, again.

"Uh huh," Trevor said, not really paying attention to her as the stubborn man carefully placed a tray on her lap. "My aunt dropped some food off last night, but you were asleep and my uncles and cousins were here to help out and everyone got hungry," he said with a shrug.

"So they dropped off more food, but unfortunately you slept all day and I got hungry and you made me nervous because you slept so damn much," he said accusingly like she'd fallen asleep the second Jason placed her on Trevor's lap in the back seat of Jared's car and hadn't woken up until about twenty minutes ago on purpose.

At first she'd been a little confused to find herself in Trevor's bed, but the dull pain in her head and the memory of what happened in the emergency room helped her wake up pretty damn quickly. Although she had absolutely no idea in hell what she was going to do, she knew she wanted to figure things out privately in her own apartment where she could freak out and this was definitely a moment to freak out.

What the hell was she going to do now? she wondered, worrying her bottom lip. She was in a nonexistent relationship, well, was. That was over so she'd probably have to move out soon and that would take up a chunk of the money she'd saved. Thank god she hadn't gone through with her vacation plans because then she'd really be screwed, even more that is.

At least she had a good paying job and health insurance for a little while longer, but once the babies came she couldn't really expect Jared to hold her job for her, especially since she'd probably be out of commission for quite some time.

Twins.

When she messed up, she really messed up. Instead of just getting knocked up she really got knocked up. She was either going to end up living in her car, which was barely running these days or be stuck on welfare and that was a dead end she refused to go. She wasn't going to end up like her mother and her kids were not going to end up in foster care because she had no choice.

No matter what she would not be losing her babies, she decided as she pressed a hand to her stomach, whishing she could feel some kind of proof that they were really there. It would be nice to feel some kind of connection to her babies so she could draw strength from them to do what she needed to do. She'd tell Trevor about them, but she wasn't expecting much from him as far as she was concerned.

Oh, she knew he'd take care of the babies and they'd never want for anything, but she wasn't so sure she'd survive being forced to see him every time he came to see the babies and she knew damn well the man wouldn't be able to stay away from his children. She would never stop him, but when he started to date again or god help her, decided to get married it would kill her.

There were a lot of things she knew she could force herself to survive, but seeing Trevor with another woman wasn't going to be one of them. It would be too difficult knowing that she'd never be good enough to be the woman that Trevor wanted. She'd always be the plain woman that he'd slummed with and got pregnant.

"But I did find a can of chicken noodle soup in the kitchen so we're in luck," Trevor said, oblivious to her pathetic musings as he lifted the cover off the tray.

Zoe opened her mouth to tell him that she wasn't hungry and that she was leaving when the aroma of chicken broth hit her hard. Gagging, she covered her mouth with both hands as she struggled to get away from the tray.

Thankfully Trevor had the good sense to grab the tray and rush it out of the room so that she could run to the bathroom. She stumbled towards the bathroom, praying she wouldn't have a repeat of the other day and quickly made it to the bathroom where she dry heaved for a minute before her stomach finally gave up.

After using the bathroom and brushing her teeth, because she felt pretty gross, she decided it was time to go home.

"I'm sorry, baby. I should have given you your pill before you tried to eat," Trevor said, walking into the bathroom, carrying a glass in one hand and a small pile of pills in the other.

He handed the pills over to her. "The small one is your nausea pill. The doctor said that should take care of it, but if it doesn't your doctor can give you a stronger prescription when you see him on Monday."

She didn't need to ask him what the other pills were for since she remembered the doctor telling her that he was sending her home with some low dose pain killers that were safe for the babies and prenatal vitamins. Needing a moment, she took the pills and swallowed them.

"Thank you," she said, feeling a little nervous as she handed him the glass.

The silence that followed was a bit awkward and telling. Worrying her bottom lip, she looked up and met his eyes. "You know, don't you?"

"That you're carrying my love child?" he asked, smiling softly. "Yes."

"Oh," she said, wishing they didn't have to have this conversation right now, but there really was no point in putting it off. "Then you know that this doesn't change anything, don't you?"

"I know," he said, shrugging it off like it was no big deal and gently ushering her to the side of the decent size bathroom.

Weren't guys usually more upset about this kind of thing? she wondered as she watched him start the shower.

"You're not upset?" she asked, wondering if maybe she'd imagined the whole thing. The idea upset her. She may not have known about the babies for very long, but she wanted them. It would be nice to finally have someone to belong to.

"Upset?" he asked, throwing her a frown over his shoulder. "Why would I be upset?"

"Because we're having a baby," she said slowly, wondering if maybe he'd suffered a head injury while she'd been out. It was possible. There was a lot of ice on the ground after all. Maybe while he was walking outside with the dogs he-

"I'm hoping for a girl," he announced the same way he'd ask her for extra snacks in his lunch.

"A girl?" she asked, not because she didn't love the idea of having a little baby girl to buy pretty pink things for, but because she was actually getting a little nervous here. Never in a million years would she have imagined the man who didn't want a real relationship with her to be happy having a child with her, a child that would bind them for life.

"Yeah, I kind of like the idea of having a little girl to spoil," he admitted with a careless shrug. "I'll even let you name her," he offered magnanimously. "But if it's a boy I'm naming it," he said, shooting her a look of warning. It was the same one he shot her when she wanted to name Max, Percival so that she could call him Percy.

"Gee, that's really generous of you," she said dryly.

"I know," he said breezily, making her roll her eyes. The man was nothing if not arrogant. She watched as he yanked off his tee-shirt and tossed it in the hamper and thought that a shower was a pretty good idea, especially since she'd worn the same shirt for two days.

She looked down at her shirt and frowned. "Um, what happened to my Red Sox tee shirt?" she asked as she looked down at Trevor's favorite Yankees tee-shirt.

"Oh, we burned that."

"You burned my shirt?" she practically shrieked. She'd loved that shirt. It was really cute with its bubbled lettering and cartoony baseball.

"Uh huh, we even took a vote."

"You voted to burn my shirt?"

"Yup."

"Seriously?" she asked, wondering if he was kidding.

"It was a real family bonding moment. There were tears and hugs and everything."

"But I loved that shirt. It was cute," she said, knowing she was pouting, but she really couldn't help it.

"That one's cuter," he said, pointing at the shirt she was wearing.

"Not really." And it wasn't. There were no bubbly letters or cartoonish-like drawings on this shirt. It had a big Y over an equally big N. How exactly was that cute?

"Well, we'll get the baby a few Yankees onesies and I'm sure you'll at least find those cute," he said, yanking his pants off.

"Actually I was planning on getting the this cute little pink Red Sox uniform I saw-"

He practically growled, "You wouldn't."

"I would."

He narrowed his eyes on her and she knew that if she ever tried he'd spank her ass, which meant she'd have to dress the baby up in cute Red Sox gear when he wasn't around and of course she would probably do it just to piss him off when he started dating.

"Look," she said, gesturing to the door, "I'm going to go now. I need to go home and figure some things out."

"Like what?" he asked, chucking his boxers and making it kind of difficult to focus.

"Umm, things?" she asked, admittedly distracted.

"Do they involve the baby?" he asked casually.

"Yes."

"Okay," he nodded slowly. "We can discuss the baby in here," he said, pulling back the shower curtain and gesturing for her to enter.

"Or we could just wait until later," she said, taking a step towards the door.

"Either you strip out of that shirt and get your ass in here, Zoe, or I'm going to toss you in there. Your choice," he said firmly, probably thinking that she'd just do whatever he wanted, but he really should have known better.

"We'll talk later," she said, turning her back on him and heading for the door only to find Trevor blocking her way. For a big man he moved pretty quickly, she thought, backing up as he stalked towards her.

"Okay, fine. We'll talk now," she said quickly, knowing there really was no choice in the matter, but trying to appear like she had a say.

"After you," he said, gesturing once again towards the shower.

With a small sigh she pulled her shirt and panties off and tossed them on the hamper and stepped into the shower. "We're just talking, Trevor. Nothing more and I'm only going along with this because I need a shower and I don't want to wait an hour for the water to heat up again."

"Whatever you say," he murmured in agreement as he stepped in behind her.

She stepped beneath the shower spray, already cringing at the prospect of her stitches stinging. When they didn't, sting that is, she felt herself relax and enjoy the hot water. She felt the tension leave her body and almost sagged with relief. The only thing better would be a bath, but she wanted to get clean more than she wanted to relax.

"Step back," Trevor murmured as he gently gripped her shoulders and pulled her back until she was leaning against his chest and halfway out of the water. "Close your eyes."

She was about to argue, but decided to save her energy. They had a lot to discuss and probably argue and she wasn't about to start over something so petty. Besides, the man had some very talented fingers and she'd always loved the way he took care of her.

When he started massaging shampoo into her hair she'd barely been able to bite back a moan of pleasure, but she hadn't been able to stop herself from sagging back against him. Without a word he put his arm around her to support her while he continued to massage shampoo into her hair. When she felt the hand on her stomach gently caress where their babies were she nearly cried at the sweet gesture.

Five minutes later she felt refreshed and more than ready to face what needed to be done. She just wished she knew where to start.

"We probably should talk," she said, hoping he'd start them off so that she had some idea of what he was thinking. Other than apparently being happy about the baby, well, he didn't know they were having twins and she should probably tell him at some point, but for right now she needed to have some idea of where he stood.

"Okay," he said, reaching past her to shut the quickly cooling water off. "What do you want to talk about?"

She should have known it wasn't going to be easy, she thought as she stepped out of the tub and wrapped a large fluffy towel around herself. As much as she would love to put this off and go drown her sorrows in a pint of ice cream, and yeah she could do that and not feel guilty about it now, she needed to get things settled between them so that there were no misunderstandings. She also wanted to be able to say that they were friends since the thought of not being able to tolerate each other wasn't exactly helping her stomach.

"Okay," she said, deciding that this conversation was probably best held in the bedroom where she could get space. She walked into his room and did her best to stay away from the bed while she wrapped her arms tightly around her body for comfort, "This is probably where I should tell you that I'll be moving out."

"What else?" he asked, barely looking at her as he dried off and pulled on a pair of boxers and jeans.

"The arrangement is over," she said, a little hurt that he hadn't at least argued about her leaving. Not that it would have made a difference, but it would have been nice to know that he at least liked having her around.

"I know. I came to the same conclusion the other day," he said with an indifferent shrug.

"Oh," she said, feeling like an idiot. Of course it was no big deal for him. This had never been more than an arrangement for him and now it was over and true to his word he was walking away without a care. Granted neither one of them had predicted that they'd be ending this with a pregnancy, but it was over nonetheless.

It was fine. More than fine. She'd known coming into this thing that there wouldn't be a future. She could handle that. It was more than fine with her, she thought as she contemplated storming over to him and kicking him in the shin for breaking her heart.

"Then I guess there's not much else to discuss right now," she said, deciding she'd tell him about the twins later. Right now she wanted to go feel sorry for herself in the privacy of her own home.

"I'll just be going then," she said, gesturing towards the door.

"Okay."

"Well, thanks," she said lamely, "for taking care of me and everything."

"Not a problem," he said, giving her his back as he pulled a shirt on.