Текст книги "Rock Hard"

Автор книги: Olivia Cunning

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Текущая страница: 20 (всего у книги 24 страниц)

Chapter 42

Jessica stood outside the concert venue, wondering why she’d driven over three hours to see a man who didn’t want her. She still wanted him. She couldn’t explain why.

Jake, one of Sinners’ roadies, raced past the barrier and climbed into the truck that held the band’s equipment. He emerged seconds later with a length of cord. He glanced up and caught sight of Jessica. His eyes widened with surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Do you want to come inside?”

She nodded.

Jake drew her around the barrier, talked their way through security, and left her in the corridor that led to the stage. She could hear Sed singing onstage in the stadium. The shouts of the crowd and the band’s music were just background noise. God, she loved him. Missed him. She had to see him. Even if he didn’t want to see her. She’d stay out of sight and just watch him. It would be enough.

She crept behind the stage and squatted next to the drum kit. Eric stumbled over a beat. She glanced up to find Eric staring down at her in confusion. She pressed a finger to her lips. She just wanted to see Sed. She didn’t even want him to know she was there.

Eric shrugged slightly and continued to pound his drums and cymbals with his typical enthusiastic flair.

Jessica couldn’t take her eyes off Sed as he paced the front of the stage, singing, screaming, growling, raising his hands in the air to encourage the crowd.

Why can’t I let him go? He doesn’t want me.

She wiped her suddenly leaky eyes on her shoulder and sniffed her nose. What could she have done differently? She wasn’t prepared to live without him in her life. She’d thought things were going so well between them and then like flipping a switch, he’d declared their relationship over. Why? Why would he do that? Had he lied about loving her? To hurt her, maybe? Like she’d planned to hurt him originally. Had the whole thing been a game to him? He was a much better player than she was.

Brian moved to the front of the stage and climbed on the ego riser to play his solo. Sed moved to the back of the stage to grab a drink of water. He chugged half a bottle and set it down near the drum kit. His eyes fell on Jessica. They widened. He froze. When Brian’s solo ended and Sed was supposed to continue singing, he didn’t move. Jace shoved him and he snapped out of his trance. Sed turned and entered the song mid-chorus. The crowd had been singing the lyrics anyway. They didn’t seem to mind his lapse.

When the song ended, he handed his mic to Trey and launched himself over the drum kit platform to Jessica’s hiding place. She stumbled backwards over a collection of cords, but Sed grabbed her by her upper arms before she could flee.

“What are you doing here?”

She couldn’t answer his question, because she didn’t know. She shook her head, tears streaming down both cheeks.

“I don’t want to see you,” he bellowed. “Don’t you get it? Go away!”

She shook her head harder, tears flying from her cheeks. “No, I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all! What changed, Sed? What… I don’t understand… Please, Sed. Please.”

“You’re gonna beg, Jess? Beg like one of my groupie whores? Go ahead. Beg. Beg me to take you back. It won’t change anything.”

“I love you.” She couldn’t see his expression because his face was blurred behind her tears. “I love you.”

“You and fifty thousand other women.”

He released her and she sat down hard on the stage. She drew her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around her shins, buried her face against her knees, and sobbed.

Sed’s voice came through the speaker a moment later. “What do you say, Fresno? Are you ready to climb the gates of Hell?”

Chapter 43

Sed had been unprepared to see Jessica that soon after their breakup. He felt guilty for being so hard on her, but he didn’t think she’d leave otherwise. He refused to be her excuse for giving up on law school and her dreams. Things would never be right between them if that happened. But after the cruel things he’d just said, things would probably never be right between them again anyway.

God, he couldn’t breathe.

Which made it exceedingly difficult to sing.

But not as hard as it was to keep his attention from the back of the stage where he’d left the only woman he’d ever loved sobbing on the floor.

Somehow, he got through “Gates of Hell” and “Good-bye Is Not Forever.” He allowed himself a quick glance behind the drum kit. Jessica was gone. A gaping hole filled the place where his heart had been a few days ago. This was what was best for her. He had to believe that, because it sure as hell wasn’t what was best for him.

When the band went on break, leaving Master Sinclair to dazzle the crowd with his solos, Sed grabbed a licorice rope and stared at the floor, chewing slowly and trying not to think much. He could not allow himself to hunt for Jessica, apologize, grovel for acting like an ass. He had to stick to his guns.

“Where’s Eric?” Jace asked.

Sed glanced up. Usually, Eric would be drenching himself in water and changing from his sweat-saturated shirt into a dry one, but he was conspicuously absent. Sed rounded the back of the drum kit and found Eric trying to coax Jessica out from between two empty equipment cases. How had she managed to cram herself into such a tiny space? Sed hesitated. He couldn’t stand to see her like that, especially knowing he was responsible. Why had she come back? She obviously wasn’t thinking clearly. He’d given her a perfect out.

Fuck.

Sed nudged Eric aside and extended a hand toward Jessica. “Come on out of there.”

“Get away from me, you asshole!” she shouted. “I fucking hate you.”

So they were back to this. He’d thought it would make it easier, but no. “It’s okay to hate me, just do it somewhere safer.”

“Why do you care?”

He reached into the space and grabbed her ankle, trying to tug her out of her hiding spot.

“Don’t touch me.” She kicked at him. The stack of cases wobbled. He released her leg and stepped back.

“All right, I’ll leave you alone. Come out for Eric, though. He’ll be worried about you under there.”

“Yep.” Eric peeled his sopping wet T-shirt off over his head. “And if you don’t, I’ll throw my sweaty shirt in there with you.”

Sed stalked off around the drum kit and once out of sight, paused to watch Jessica squirm from between the equipment cases. When he was sure she was safe, he headed back to the stage. He clapped Brian on the shoulder and encouraged the crowded to cheer their guitar hero’s amazing compositions. He then extended a hand toward Trey, who’d joined Brian in the middle of his last solo and sounded better than ever. A second round of cheering for Trey now.

Sed paused halfway through the next song to get another drink of water. His throat felt raw, his vocal cords strained. He hadn’t consumed enough glycerol during their break, but it shouldn’t have made this much of a difference. On his next carried note, he broke off in the middle with a ragged cough. Maybe he was coming down with a cold. He finished the song, keeping his volume down to alleviate the burning sensation in his throat, and left Trey in charge of the crowd while he headed offstage to chew more red licorice.

Travis, one of their long-time roadies, patted him on the arm. “You okay, Sed?”

He nodded. “Sore throat.” He glanced around, not meaning to look for Jessica, but unable to help himself.

“Do you want me to get you some numbing spray?”

“Yeah, that would help. I’ll be back after ‘Twisted.’” He returned to the stage to find Trey and Jace fighting over a pair of panties that some chick had thrown onstage.

“Did I miss something?” Sed asked.

“Those are for me,” Jace insisted.

“Aw, Trey, let the kid have his panties,” Sed teased.

Trey tossed them over Jace’s head to Brian, who caught them in one hand and dangled them from a finger.

“Ah, fine, whatever,” Jace grumbled and headed to the back of the stage to hang out by the drum kit.

Brian rolled his eyes. “I guess Jace doesn’t want your phone number, sweetie,” he said to the girl who’d tossed them onstage. “Try a bra next time. They fly farther.”

Sed chuckled, but even that hurt. He cleared his throat. “Who out there is feeling a little twisted tonight?”

The crowd cheered in response, knowing it meant Sinners was about to treat them to their most energetic anthem, “Twisted.” Eric thudded his bass drum with the introductory beats of the song. Sed roared through the first measure. When he screamed the first note, something thick and hot poured down the back of his throat. He choked on the liquid, covering his mouth with one hand.

When he drew his hand away, it was covered in blood.

Blood?

He stared at his fingers in disbelief. They blurred out of focus.

The stage rose up to meet him as he blacked out.

Chapter 44

Jessica stood outside Sinners’ dressing room, leaning against the wall. She’d finally calmed down enough to stop crying, but she wasn’t leaving until she saw Sed. She wanted to tell him what an asshole he was and that she never wanted to see him again. Yeah. That’s exactly why she wanted to see him. So she could tell him off.

The music blaring from the stadium stopped. Strange. They’d just started the next song. A moment later, a roadie sprinted down the corridor, talking frantically into a cell phone. Jessica’s heart rate kicked up a notch when the wail of an ambulance stopped just outside the back doors. Paramedics flew by with a gurney.

A fan? A roadie? Had something happened to Trey? He’d seemed fine the last time she saw him. Concerned, she headed after the paramedics. When she reached the edge of the stage, she froze. Trey had blood all over his hands, but it wasn’t his.

“Sed!”

She launched herself across the stage. Brian caught her around the waist, but she fought him until he released her. She landed on her knees next to Sed. Blood. Blood everywhere. And it was coming from Sed’s mouth.

“Do we intubate?” one of the paramedics asked another.

“God, I don’t know. Where’s all the blood coming from? He’s going to drown in it.”

They rolled Sed onto his side, and a pool of blood spread across the stage from his mouth.

“Help him!” Jessica insisted.

“Stand back, ma’am.” One of the paramedics examined the inside of Sed’s throat with a tiny flashlight. “His trachea isn’t collapsed, but he’s blown a blood vessel in his throat. Keep him on his side and let’s get him to the hospital. We can’t fix this here.”

They lifted him onto the gurney. No one else moved. The entire stadium stood silent. Several roadies helped the paramedics lower the gurney to the floor and then they were racing toward the ambulance with Jessica on their heels.

She could hear a crowd of people following behind her, but she could only see Sed. Unconscious. Shallow breathing. Pale. Blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. So pale.

Oh God, please let him be okay.

Jessica waited for the paramedics to load Sed into the back of the ambulance and then climbed inside without hesitation.

“Ma’am?”

“I’m his wife,” she lied.

She sat near Sed’s feet and held on to his shin while the paramedics tried to get the bleeding to stop the entire long ride to the hospital.

At the hospital, Jessica was the only one there to impress upon the emergency room doctor the importance of treating Sed’s throat carefully.

“He sings professionally. Please keep that in mind when you work on his throat.”

“Do you want him to sing or live?”

“I want him to live, obviously. I’m trying to think about what he would want.”

While they worked on him, Jessica stood just outside the curtain wringing her hands. How had this happened? Her thoughts kept returning to that night at the strip club when Sed’s throat had been injured by that bouncer. Surely, that injury would have healed by now, but maybe all the screaming he did onstage had prevented full recovery.

A nurse ushered Jessica to the waiting area. The place was packed with familiar faces.

Trey grabbed her by both arms. “Is he going to be all right?”

“I think so. They got the bleeding stopped, but I’m not sure they were careful with his vocal cords.”

What would Sed do if he couldn’t sing? Singing was his life.

They waited for word from the doctor for over an hour. When he finally came to report Sed’s status, he approached Jessica.

“Your husband lost a lot of blood, but he’s going to be just fine. As soon as he wakes up, you can go see him.”

“How’s his throat?” Trey asked. “Will he be able to sing again?”

“There will be a long healing process and there might be some scar tissue. We won’t know for sure until the swelling goes down. Right now he has a tube down his windpipe to keep his airway open.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Eric said. “This is Sed we’re talking about here. He won’t let anything stand in his way or put up with any bullshit. Not even from his own body.”

Sed was moved to a room upstairs and the crowd of band members and roadies headed to a waiting room on that floor.

“Can I sit with him while he sleeps?” Jessica asked the nurse.

“It’s past visiting hours. You should all come back in the morning.”

“He is going to freak out when he wakes up and doesn’t know where he is.”

“I know you’re worried about him, honey, but rules are rules.”

“When do visiting hours begin?”

“Eight a.m.”

Unacceptable. She couldn’t go seven hours without seeing him. Without touching him.

“What room is he in?”

The nurse eyed her warily.

“So I know where to go in the morning.”

The nurse consulted her computer. “Room 2117. Now head on home and get some rest. I’m sure he’ll be really happy to see you in the morning.”

Jessica smiled wearily and nodded. She told the guys waiting at the end of the hall what the nurse had told her.

“I fuckin’ hate hospitals anyway,” Trey said. “How long are they going to keep him in here?”

“At least until they can take the tube out of his throat.”

“He has a tube in his throat?” Brian whispered, paling under his stage makeup.

“I’m going to sneak into his room and stay with him while he sleeps,” Jessica told them. “Will one of you distract the nurse for me?”

“Is she hot?” Trey asked.

“I don’t know,” Jessica said, exasperated.

“That would be a no,” Trey said. “But I’ll do it for Sed, because he needs you, Jess, no matter what stupid shit he told you.”

Jessica smiled in appreciation. She wasn’t sure if Trey was correct, but she wasn’t going to let Sed get away that easily.

And now that he’d be unable to talk, he’d have to listen to her for once.

Trey went to schmooze the nurse. He could charm the pants off a rattlesnake, and probably had more than once. While the nurse’s head was ducked, Jessica crept through the partially open door of Sed’s hospital room.

The only light came from the private bathroom. When her eyes adjusted, she quietly pulled a chair up beside his bed and sat next to him. She couldn’t believe such a big, commanding guy could look so frail. She took his hand, the one without an IV, and touched it to her cheek.

“I’m here, Sed. Everything’s going to be okay.”

He didn’t respond. Not even with a twitch, but that was okay. They were together. That’s all that mattered to her.

Chapter 45

Sed felt like he’d been run over by a train. He peeled his eyes open, but everything was blurry, so he closed them again. He tried to remember what had happened. He remembered being onstage, the pain in his throat, and choking on blood, but nothing after that.

He lifted his hand and winced as something tugged at a vein in the back of his hand. He tried his other hand, but someone was clinging to it. His throat felt strange. He couldn’t even swallow properly and he couldn’t close his mouth.

Panicked, his heart thudded in his chest like a jack hammer. He jerked his hand away from his unknown visitor’s and reached for his throat. Someone stopped his progress.

Jessica whispered, “Sed, it’s Jessica. You’re in the hospital. Can you hear me?”

He tried to form words, but nothing came out. Not a solitary sound.

“Don’t panic. There’s a tube in your throat to keep your airway open. As soon as the swelling goes down, they’ll take it out. How are you feeling?”

He rolled his eyes toward her and she smiled at him, her fingers stroking his hair. He tried to convey his level of displeasure with a look, but she seemed oblivious. What was she doing here? She was supposed to be in school.

“You’re getting your color back already,” she said. “I couldn’t believe how much you bled. They had to give you a transfusion.”

He freed his hand from hers and lifted it to his neck, wanting her to tell him about the injury. He hoped she knew Sed sign language, because he had a lot of questions.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” she promised. “You blew a vessel inside your throat. It’s not near your vocal cords or anything, but you’ve got to let it heal. That means no singing and no talking for at least a week.”

He mouthed the word “What?” to the best of his ability.

“It won’t be so bad. I’ll take care of you.”

He gave her a stern look and pointed to the door.

“I’m not leaving, Sed. And you can’t tell me what do, because you can’t talk.” She offered him a self-satisfied grin. “I’m dropping out of school to take care of you.”

He shook his head vigorously, but had to stop because it sent waves of pain down his throat.

“We need to talk. Well, I need to talk and you need to listen.”

“Jess…” he tried to say, but her name came out as a huff of air.

“I’m never going to pass Dr. Ellington’s class. Let me tell you why.” As she told him how her professor had nonchalantly revealed their video to her classmates, Sed’s fist clenched tighter and tighter. Why did people always treat her so unfairly? Didn’t they see how wonderful she was? He couldn’t stand the thought of her giving up her dreams because someone else thought she should. He wrapped an arm around her and urged her head down on his shoulder so he could rub her back and stroke her hair with his free hand.

“So I guess it didn’t matter that I got a chance to earn my scholarship back.”

Sed couldn’t believe how calm she was about the situation. Shouldn’t she be fighting that Dr. Ellington bitch tooth and nail? He supposed a person could only take so much abuse and humiliation, but Jessica wasn’t the type to take injustice lying down. That was one of the things he loved so much about her.

A nurse entered the room. “Good to see you’re awake, Mr. Lionheart,” she said. “Are you comfortable? One blink for yes, two for no.”

Was he comfortable? He had a fucking tube down his throat. Did she really need an answer to that question? He blinked once though.

“Later, we’re going to take that tube out and see if you can swallow, but you have to promise me that you won’t try to talk. You have a lot of damage in there and if you don’t completely rest your voice, there’s a chance you could lose it permanently. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

He blinked once, but knew it would be damn near impossible not to talk. Especially when Jessica was making one of the stupidest decisions of her life.

Jessica leaned back and looked down into his eyes. “You’re not going to chase me away again,” she said. “I don’t care how much of an asshole you pretend to be. I know better.”

He rolled his eyes at her and she smiled.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t speak,” Jessica said to the nurse. “Even if I have to keep his mouth shut with duct tape.”

The nurse grinned. “Good, because I get the feeling that this one doesn’t follow instructions.”

Sed tried to protest, but realized it was no use.

“The doctor will stop by soon to explain your condition better.”

Sed gave her a weary thumbs up. When she stepped out of the room, Jessica climbed to sit on the edge of the bed with him.

“I’ve got our entire situation figured out,” she said. “This is how things are going to be between us.”

Oh really? He was interested to know how she’d figured out an impossible situation.

“First, we’re dating exclusively. No more games on either end. Are you in agreement? One blink for yes. I’m not taking no for an answer.”

He tried grinning around the piece of plastic between his teeth, but it hurt his mouth, so he blinked. Once. A beautiful smile lit her face.

“Great. I’m moving into your condo while I finish school…”

One blink.

“…but I’m paying rent.”

Two blinks.

“You are not allowed to argue with me, Sedric. I’m calling all the shots here. Also, I’m dropping out of law school.”

But she’d just said she was finishing school.

“I’ve decided it’s not what I want to do. I still want to help people, that’s why I was going to become a lawyer, but I think I want to become,” she flushed, “a nurse. Don’t laugh.”

He couldn’t have laughed if he tried. And he wouldn’t have tried anyway. She’d make a wonderful nurse. She was gentle and caring, yet tough enough to be perfect for the job. But none of that mattered. Suddenly giving up on her lifelong dreams had nothing to do with a change in interest and everything to do with the people at that school who had power over her. And when Sed was back on his feet, he would be exerting his power over them, even if it meant Jessica would never forgive him.

“I am going to file an official grievance against the dean and Dr. Ellington. I don’t want anyone to think they chased me away and I gave up.”

Sed squeezed her hand. But she was giving up. Didn’t she realize that? And he couldn’t stand to see her this way. Defeated. He knew what he should do. Support her in her decision. Stand back and let her do what she thought she needed to do. Even though he was incapacitated in a hospital bed, it wasn’t in him to just take these things lying down. And normally it wasn’t in her, either. What was she so afraid of?

“I do think I’ll go to class tomorrow though. I really need to tell that bitch off. Publicly.”

There’s my girl. He welcomed that spark of fight in her.

“Even if I report them, I doubt anything will happen to either one,” she murmured. She glanced up at him. “Dean Taylor was right. I don’t have any credibility.”

Sed scowled. When had the dick told her that?

“Do you think it’s worth it? Should I even bother filing a grievance?”

Sed blinked emphatically. Or at least he hoped it look emphatic and didn’t look like he had bleach in his eyes.

“You’re right. I’ll go. I’ll never feel right about it if I don’t at least try to set things right.”

He smiled and blinked in agreement.

“I kind of like you this way,” Jessica said. “All placid and compliant.”

Don’t get used to it.

“I should leave you alone so you can rest.”

He blinked twice. Under no circumstance did he want her out of his sight. Now that they were officially a couple, he planned to take full advantage of her company.

Jessica scooted closer to him on the bed and stroked his stubble-rough cheek with the back of her hand. She leaned over and brushed her lips against his temple. His jaw.

“I can’t wait to take you home and pamper you. In every imaginable way.”

He was definitely up for some pampering and was already imagining every way.

Someone cleared their throat and Sed looked up to a gray-haired man in a white coat. His doctor, he presumed.

Jessica turned her head to glance at the doctor and then smiled down at Sed. “We’ll talk more later. Or rather, I will.”

Sed decided he liked it when she talked. He’d try to make an effort to listen more often. She kissed the tip of his nose and then moved away from the bed.

The doctor stepped closer to the bed. “I’m Dr. Jarvis—ear, nose, and throat specialist. I’ll just cut to the chase here. Mr. Lionheart, you can’t keep punishing your throat. All that growling and screaming has frayed your vocal cords and damaged the lining of your throat so badly that you tore an artery. An artery, Mr. Lionheart. I’ve never seen an injury like it. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’d been swallowing swords for a living. I’m putting you on a voice restriction order for a week. No talking, no singing, and definitely no screaming. After that week, you need to see a specialist again and hope there’s significant improvement. If you don’t give yourself time to heal, you might never sing again. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Sed couldn’t breathe. He hadn’t realized how serious his condition was. He choked on the tube as panic squeezed his throat.

“Do you understand?” Dr. Jarvis repeated.

Gasping for air, Sed blinked once.

“We’ll take that tube out now and see what we have to work with.”

A nurse stepped up on the other side of the bed. She placed a hand on Sed’s forehead to ease his head back. “Relax, Mr. Lionheart. This won’t be pleasant, but it will be over quick.”

He tried to relax, but it wasn’t easy. As the tube was pulled free, it felt as if his throat was being turned wrong side out. And then it was gone. His throat felt tight and sore, but at least he could bend his neck. His first instinct was to try his voice, but the doctor already had a tongue depressor on his tongue.

“Open.”

The nurse scribbled notes while the doctor described what he could see. Didn’t sound good.

“I want him scoped this afternoon,” Dr. Jarvis said. “We need to take a better look at those cords.”

“Yes, doctor,” the nurse said.

The doctor met Sed’s eyes. “It looks better than I expected. Can you swallow?”

Sed swallowed, but it brought tears to his eyes.

“Take it easy. No talking. And soft foods only.”

Sed nodded. The doctor took the chart from the nurse, scribbled some additional notes, and then left the room.

Jessica moved to stand beside him and kissed his forehead. “He said it looked better than expected. That’s good news, right?”

He closed his eyes and nodded slightly. How could Sinners record their album next week if their lead vocalist couldn’t sing?