Текст книги "Three Broken Promises"

Автор книги: Monica Murphy

Соавторы: Monica Murphy
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Chapter 18

Colin

“No more talking,” I tell her, my hands at her waist, my fingers slipping beneath her tank so I can touch her bare, warm skin. “All I do is fuck it up when we talk.” I remember what Fable told me, how every time Drew opens his mouth when they argue he somehow makes it worse. It appears I’m just like him.

The faintest smile curves her lips and she slowly shakes her head. “You’re so right.” She pauses, worry mixed with desire filling her gaze. “We seem to do our best together when there’s no talking at all, don’t you think?”

“Well, you seem to like it when I talk to you a little bit.” I settle my mouth on hers, keeping it simple, knowing I won’t last like this for long. “Like when I whisper all those dirty words in your ear.” I kiss her hungrily, earning a soft moan from her when I delve my tongue deep inside her mouth. She tastes like toothpaste, fresh and minty and with a hint of her own, unique flavor. A flavor I could drown in, live on for the rest of my life.

“We can’t solve our problems with sex,” she tells me when I break away from her to smother her neck with wet kisses. “They’re still going to be waiting for us later. They always will.”

“Then we’ll deal with them later. I’ve been dying to lose myself inside you since last night,” I murmur against her throat, nibbling it. I love the feel of her skin against my lips, the scent of her, the slightly tangy taste.

She shivers, her hands at my shoulders, trying to push me. Thinking she’s trying to put a stop to what we’re doing, I reluctantly back away, only to watch in disbelief as she strips her tank top off, revealing the pretty pink bra she’s wearing.

“You want to lose yourself inside me, then let’s do it,” she says eagerly, her voice trembling as she reaches behind her and unhooks her bra. “I’m leaving soon, Colin. I don’t want to waste any more time.”

My mouth goes dry when she tosses the bra aside, then pushes her yoga pants and underwear off in one smooth movement. She’s naked, my favorite thing in the whole freaking world, and without a thought I push her to the bed, quickly kicking off my flannel pants before I’m pushing myself inside her without any warning. No foreplay, nothing beyond the hungry kisses we shared just now.

I’m that desperate to be inside her.

She must be just as desperate. She’s wet and hot, opening completely to me, and I move within her easily, rocking against her. Deep. Deeper. Losing myself in her just like I said I wanted to, closing my eyes and letting pure, delicious sensation take over.

“Fuck, you feel so damn good. Tight and hot,” I whisper in her ear, holding her close. A little whispery moan falls from her lips at my words. “I wanna stay right here, deep inside your body and never leave.”

“That’s going to be—awkward when we eventually have to go to work,” she murmurs, her voice hitching with my every thrust. Christ, I love that. Hearing her soft gasps, her sweet moans, those delicious little whimpers I swallow with my mouth. I want to fuck her into oblivion. Hell, I want to be fucked into oblivion, too. No thinking, no talking, no past, no future, nothing but the here and now.

With Jen.

“We’ll never work again. We’ll never leave this bed,” I tell her, my voice earnest, my thoughts earnest too. I would rather stay here with her forever.

Forever.

“Jenny.” I whisper her name against her lips, then kiss her deeply, overwhelmed by my thoughts, by the foreign emotion coursing through my veins, making my chest hurt. I care more for her than any other person in my life, even Danny, even my parents, though that’s not difficult.

The realization is frightening. Powerful. Liberating.

Jesus. I can’t do this now. I can’t feel something for her now, when she’s dead set on leaving me and nothing seems to stop her. We’ve been fooling each other this entire time. Pretending to be indifferent, acting like we don’t matter to each other beyond friendship. The second she moved in, the chemistry between us started to grow. Until it became too overwhelming and we couldn’t ignore it any longer. We’ve become even closer.

I’m falling for her. Completely.

Pushing all thought from my brain, I let my hands wander all over her body as I start to move fast. Faster. Until we’re wrapped tight around each other, both of us crying out as our orgasms take us completely over and we lose ourselves in each other, just like we said we wanted.

But now I realize I want even more.

By the time we escaped my room and started getting ready for work, hours had gone by. My father disappeared, leaving me a vague text that he was out scouting the area, whatever the hell that meant. Jen and I had fallen asleep, the two of us exhausted after everything that happened last night, our fight earlier today, and my dad showing up.

It’s been an emotional roller coaster the last twenty-four hours. One we’re both still trying to recuperate from.

Nothing is said in regard to our earlier fight and I’m thankful she doesn’t bring it up. She finally called the bank and canceled her card, and they’ll issue her a new one when she goes into the branch tomorrow. Fortunately, the jackass who stole her purse hadn’t used her card.

She’s lucky. It could have been so much worse. He could have cleaned out her account. Or taken his rage out on her when he had her lying there on the ground. Just thinking about what could have happened sends me into a quiet, seething rage.

So it’s best I don’t think about it at all.

I let her work her shift because she argues with me that she’s perfectly fine to go in and besides, she doesn’t want to be alone with her thoughts. Not quite sure what she means by that, I give in because when it comes to Jen, I always want to give in. I can’t help myself.

We’re halfway through the night and I’m going over paperwork for the new location when I realize I never did talk to her about the job idea that came to me yesterday. The one that would keep her near me. Now it has even more appeal since I’ve realized I want more. Despite my lingering guilt, I want her in my life. I want a relationship with her.

And I think she still wants that from me too, if I can convince her that I mean what I say.

Eager to see her, I go search Jen out in the restaurant, finding her working in the bar, and I call her over. She approaches me with a questioning expression. I let my gaze rake over her as I’m prone to do, taking in her bandaged knees with a smile. The sight of them reminds me of Jenny the nine-year-old, always falling and scraping up her legs and arms. Always trying to keep up with Danny and me.

“Is everything okay?” she asks, her delicate brows furrowed.

“I want to talk to you,” I answer, grabbing her by the crook of her arm and glancing about the room. No one’s paying us any mind. “Can you come into my office for a few minutes?”

“Um, it’s slow, so sure.” She shrugs, letting me lead her out of the bar and down the hall toward my office. “If this is your discreet way of getting me alone again, then that was sort of obvious.”

“No one was watching us, I checked.” Chuckling, I shake my head. “And I really do want to talk to you. Come on.”

Leading her into my office, I wave my hand toward a chair, indicating for her to sit. I leave the door open on purpose, knowing it will both prevent me from jumping her and keep my curious employees from thinking I’m banging Jen on top of my desk.

I would really love to bang her on my desk, but not right now.

“What’s up?” she asks the moment I sit. She looks agitated, nervous, her knee bouncing up and down in quick, rhythmic succession.

“I have a proposition for you.” I lean my forearms on top of my desk and study her, thinking for about the millionth time how damn beautiful she is. “And I’m hoping you’ll say yes.”

She lifts her brows. “What sort of proposition are you talking about?”

“Well, you know how I’m opening the Redding location, right?” It’s only about ninety minutes north of here, a city of about one hundred thousand residents who love their chain restaurants. I know The District will do great there.

“Right.”

“I need someone to help me run it. And I’d like that person to be you.” I pause, letting my words sink in.

Jen stares at me, her mouth dropping open, her eyes going wide. “You’re serious.”

“Absolutely. This keeps you nearby. Actually brings you closer to your parents, though I’m not sure if you care about that part or not.”

She’s quiet for a moment, her head bent, as if absorbing what I’ve asked her. Blowing out a harsh breath, she glances up, her gaze meeting mine. “Colin, I really appreciate the offer, but . . .”

“Don’t say no,” I interrupt, my heart racing at the realization that she’s going to turn me down. I know she is. I can feel it in my bones. “I know you refused my earlier offer of helping out in the office here and I get it. You want to get away from me.”

She doesn’t confirm or deny my statement, which hurts. And makes me feel like a pussy. Instead of dwelling on my feelings, I forge on.

“You’re perfect for the position—you just need a little training, and I can do that. You’ve worked in the restaurant industry for years and you like to take charge. You’re efficient, organized, and everyone looks up to you here as a sort of peacekeeper. You manage the floor without me even asking you to and you do it so naturally.”

Her eyes widen with surprise. Did she not realize I notice everything about her? How strong she is, what a tremendous asset she is to my business? I not only care about this woman, I admire the hell out of her.

“I need you, Jen. I need you to help me run that location and it has nothing to do with our personal relationship. I swear it.”

She’s slowly shaking her head, disbelief written all over her pretty face. “I have zero experience running an entire restaurant. You know this. The idea . . . scares the crap out of me.”

I wave my hand. “Whatever you need to know, I can teach you. You learn quickly. You’re meticulous and you care. I know you won’t screw me over or let the place fail. You’re loyal to a fault, and that’s hard to find in an employee.”

“I—I don’t know how to manage people, Colin.” She’s in denial. It’s her best skill in the place. “It would be such a huge responsibility . . . and I feel like you’re offering it to me only so you can keep me close.” Her gaze goes hard, as if she just figured me all out and doesn’t like what she sees. “And Redding is even farther north—and farther away from Sacramento.”

“It’s close to here,” I point out.

“Close to you,” she corrects. “That’s it, right? You’re trying to keep me close to you? Why?”

This is my chance. I can tell her how I feel about her. I realized after she was attacked last night how much I care for her. How much I don’t want her to leave. This is the moment when I can completely change my life forever.

Nerves jump in my gut like little fish jumping in the middle of an otherwise calm lake and I open my mouth, ready to launch into the speech I’ve been preparing since late last night. “Jen, I need to tell you—”

A rapid knock sounds on my open office door and I glance up to see my goddamn dad standing in the doorway. “Hey,” I say irritably, pissed that he’s interrupted us.

“Hey, son, got a minute to talk?” He strides into the room as if he owns it, flashing a brief smile in Jen’s direction. “You understand, don’t you, honey?”

“Sure. Of course.” She stands, tugging on the hem of her dress self-consciously, her surprised, slightly irritated gaze going to mine briefly before looking away.

“We’ll talk about this later,” I tell her as she starts toward the door, but she doesn’t look back once. Her shoulders are stiff, her back ramrod straight. She looks . . . mad.

I wonder what the hell I could have done to offend her. I make her an amazing offer and she’s pissed? I don’t get it.

My dad rushes to the door the second Jen exits the room and shuts it, turning the lock with a loud click. He turns to look at me, his hands on his hips. “What the hell are you doing?”

I’m taken aback by the hostile tone of his voice. “What do you mean?”

“Offering that little floozy waitress of yours a manager position? Are you crazy? How old is she? Nineteen?”

“She’s twenty-two, not that it’s any of your business. And you gave me a fucking restaurant when I was only nineteen,” I point out. He’d done so out of guilt, and maybe I was doing the same, but damn it, I know Jen is capable. I wish she could see how amazing she is.

“That was different. You’re my son.” He settles into the very chair Jen just vacated, crossing his leg over his opposite knee. “This is just some little girl you’re messing around with. She doesn’t know the first thing about running a restaurant.”

“Don’t call her that,” I bite out. “She means something to me. I know you don’t understand that sort of thing what with your lack of a heart and all, but I care about her.”

“What do you mean, my lack of a heart? Oh, I get it.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “I’m sure your mom goes on and on about what a heartless bastard I am, right?”

I ignore what he says. This isn’t about my parents. I don’t want to talk about my mom. “How the hell do you know anything about Jen anyway? You’ve never spent any time with her, let alone worked with her.”

“I know because I’ve done a little research.” The smirk on his face is aggravating as fuck. Smug and knowing, all at once. “I found out your Jennifer Cade has a little secret.”

Dread settles over me, my gut sinking. “What are you talking about?”

“You were wrong, son. She wasn’t just a stripper at that shitty little club. A real popular one, too, not that I’m surprised.” He smiles, looking again like the very shark that he is. “She’s also a dirty little whore.”

Chapter 19

Jen

My head is spinning. Colin wants me to manage his new location? Is he crazy? Is this some sort of handout position? Of course it is. I’m not capable of doing what he wants me to do and he knows it. I have no experience managing a restaurant, running a business, handling all of the office-type day-to-day things. Just thinking about juggling all of that responsibility makes me break out into a sweat.

It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, but I’m thinking it’s more of an “I must take care of you because you’re my responsibility” offer. As usual. Does he really believe in me that much? He claims he does. Or is he making the offer because he wants to keep me around and take care of me?

God, the man makes me feel so confused! As if I can do nothing on my own. It all has to come to me as a handout. And when I do try and do something on my own, I almost always fail.

Almost? Try always, you dumbass.

Or I end up dragging myself through the gutter to make a few bucks just to live.

“You okay?” Fable appears before me, her brows scrunched in concern. “You look a little sell-shocked.”

“Colin just offered me a job,” I blurt out.

She laughs. “Um, I hate to point this out, but don’t you already work for him? Oh wait, let me guess. He asked you to be his personal sex slave. I bet that pays well,” she adds with an exaggerated waggle of her brows.

I swat her arm, both irritated and amused at her comment. “Shut up, I’m serious.”

“Fine, fine. What sort of job did he offer you?”

“He wants me to manage the new location.”

Her smile fades. “You mean the restaurant he’s opening in Redding?”

I nod. “The very one.”

“Um . . . I thought he already had someone lined up.”

“So did I, but maybe not? I don’t know. But he just offered me the job, not two minutes ago.”

“What did you say?” Fable asks.

“I didn’t get a chance to answer. He wouldn’t let me, and then his dad walked in just as he was about to say something and interrupted us. The jerk,” I spit out.

“His dad is here? Really? Wow.” She grimaces. “You don’t like him, huh?”

“Not at all.” I shudder. The man gives me a bad vibe.

“So what are you going to say to Colin?”

“No, of course. I’m not equipped to handle a job like that. Too much pressure.” I shrug, feeling let down and not really knowing why. I wish I were good enough to accept the job. I’d jump all over it. But I’m not confident I could do right by him, running the new location on my own. “Besides, it’s just a handout. I’d be his puppet and he’d be pulling all the strings.”

“God, Jen, he’s making you an amazing job offer and you still look at it as charity. Don’t you think he wants you to have the position because he believes in you? It would be a huge risk otherwise.” She tilts her head. “You are pretty good at wrangling us around here. Everyone listens to you. You tend to take command when Colin’s not around.”

She’s right, I do. But it’s just because I feel comfortable here. Colin’s never discouraged me from taking control, either. I appreciate that about him.

But leaving me all on my own, taking care of a restaurant and staff as if I know what I’m doing? The idea alone terrifies me.

“I don’t know what to think. We weren’t able to talk much before his dad barged in and basically told me to leave,” I finally answer.

“He sounds like a great guy,” Fable says, her normally sweet voice full of sarcasm.

“He’s a winner. Thank God, Colin’s not like him.” Never, in all the years I’ve known Colin, has he given me a bad vibe.

His father, on the other hand, had a terrible reputation back in Shingletown. Not that he actually lived there or anything. He’d met Colin’s mom on a whim, at some sort of wild concert weekend, or so the story went. I overheard Colin telling Danny the tale once long, long ago and I tried my best to memorize every little detail.

They had a brief affair, Colin’s mom became pregnant with him, and she called Conrad Wilder up out of the blue and told him he was gonna be a father. He had a girlfriend at the time who kicked him out of the house they shared, he came to Shingletown, moved in with and married Colin’s mom, and they were supposed to live happily ever after.

But they didn’t. They lived in a crappy too-small shack, neither of them had a job or the ambition to do anything beyond drink (him) and cause arguments (her), which led to Conrad Wilder bailing on his family right before Colin’s first birthday. Even weirder, they’re still married.

No wonder Colin has such a messed-up view on relationships. Look at the example his parents gave him.

“Families are strange. I totally get that. When I first met Drew’s dad, he creeped me out. Now I realize he was just miserable and in a terrible marriage. He’s really not that bad.” Fable offers me a reassuring smile. “Maybe Colin’s dad is stressed out or overworked. Who knows? I’m gonna say this, though. Ask Colin more questions about this potential job he’s offering you. Don’t just out-and-out refuse him.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m leaving for Sacramento in little over a week, Fable. I lined up a roommate and everything,” I protest, wincing when I see the crestfallen expression on Fable’s face.

“You found a roommate?” she asks, her voice soft.

“Yeah. We confirmed everything today, as a matter of fact. She seems really nice. I sent her a deposit, so . . .” I hate going on about it. The disappointment is clear in Fable’s eyes.

“That’s awesome. I’m really happy for you.” Fable’s jaw goes firm, like she’s trying to pretend she’s fine. I’ve seen her give the look before. “But I’m dead serious. Talk to him. See what he’s offering.”

“Like a handout?” I say, trying to joke but secretly meaning it. All of his handouts have strings. Ones I didn’t use to mind, since they always involve Colin watching over me. He rarely likes to let me out of his sight.

But I’m really starting to resent his constant need to take care of me. I want more from him.

“Will you stop saying that? It’s like you don’t think you’re worthy of the praise or something. It’s really irritating,” Fable says, her gaze going over my shoulder. She stands straighter as her eyes go wide. “Uh-oh, here he comes. And he looks pissed.”

“Who?” I start to turn but she hisses at me, making me stop.

“Don’t look! It’s Colin. Oh my God, he’s headed over here. I wonder if his dad made him mad,” Fable finishes just as Colin approaches.

“Chatting on my time, ladies?” He sends a pointed look at Fable, who for once in her life keeps her lips clamped shut. It’s a miracle. “I suggest you get back to work.”

Not saying a word, she turns tail and takes off, leaving me alone with a man who is very, very pissed off.

And I think it’s all directed at me.

“I just spoke to my father,” he starts, his voice tight, his eyes narrowed. “He had some interesting information.”

“About what?” I ask warily.

“About you.” He pauses, waiting for my surprise to settle in. “And what you did when you worked at Gold Diggers.”

My knees threaten to buckle, and not in a good way. “Wh—what are you talking about?” I know exactly what he’s talking about. I’ve kept this secret from him for months. Almost a year. I never wanted him to know the truth.

Colin steps closer, glancing around as if to ensure we’re alone. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Panic flares and my brain scrambles. I didn’t want him to find out, especially like this. I want to deny it. I want to pretend this isn’t happening, but I can’t. So I decide to be completely honest.

Even if the truth might cost me everything.

“You already know I was a stripper there,” I admit, my voice small. “I danced, but only for a little while. A few months.” Regret crashes through me, but I push it aside. I can’t say anything more.

“You’re lying to me, Jen. Why would you lie to me? I thought I was your friend.” He’s starting to yell and I shush him, not wanting to draw any attention.

“We shouldn’t talk about it out here.” I grab hold of his arm to try and drag him back to his office but he jerks out of my grip, his expression full of disgust and horror.

All of it aimed directly at me.

“You’ve had plenty of opportunity to tell me the truth. I need to hear you say it.” He spits out the last word. “I could’ve helped you. You know this. God, Jenny, why did you let them touch you?”

Dread consumes me and my head spins. How does he know? He’s not saying what he knows but I can tell. He looks positively horrified, and I hate it. Hate that this is a part of my past and he’s learned about it from someone else. I should have told him. I should have been honest with him from the start. “I refuse to have this conversation out here where anyone could be listening.” I reach for him but he steps back, clearly not wanting to be touched. By me. That hurts. “Let’s go to your office. Please.”

“No,” he says vehemently. “Say it, Jen. Tell me what you let them do to you.”

Sighing, I throw my head back, staring at the ceiling for a long minute before I finally look at him. “It was only for a couple of months. I was desperate. I started working there as a cocktail waitress like I told you, but the girls who danced would rake in so much money, I became jealous over what they made. Every single one of them encouraged me to dance and after awhile, I finally decided why the hell not? So one night I drank a few shots for liquid courage, got up onstage, and proceeded to make an ass of myself the very first time I danced.”

I remember the embarrassing moment like it was yesterday. The men that catcalled me and the others who openly laughed. My dancing skills had been subpar at best and I’d been a little drunk and sloppy on my feet. But after awhile, I’d gotten into it and danced with wild abandon.

Glancing at Colin, I see he’s glaring at me, expecting me to say more. I don’t want to say more.

But I do.

“The money that the men threw at me when I danced felt empowering. I—I became addicted to the tips. I needed that money. I was all alone. Soon I was dancing six nights a week, working as much as I could. Making as much money as I could. After I’d built up some confidence, I started to offer lap dances.” I look away from Colin, unable to stand to see his reaction. He must hate me so much. “My tips exploded. I saved and saved, ready to put a deposit down on an apartment of my own so I could get away from my awful roommate when one of her creepy boyfriends snuck into my room when I was at work. He searched through my stuff and found the secret stash of cash I kept in a crappy old shoe box under the bed.”

“He stole your money.” Colin’s voice is flat and I refuse to look at him.

“He took it all. My roommate was pissed when I accused her boyfriend of stealing from me. She kicked me out. I was devastated.”

Desperate. Scared.

“Why didn’t you call your parents? They would’ve taken you back in.”

“They hardly noticed I was gone!” I look at him now, see that he flinched when I yelled my answer. “I left because I didn’t seem to matter to them anymore. No one cared. Going home would’ve been a step backward.”

“So you lived in your car instead.” The sarcasm in his voice is thick.

“What was I going to do? I felt like I had nowhere else to go. I was embarrassed, Colin. At the very end of my rope. I did things that I’m not proud of. Not proud of at all.” Things I never even told Fable and she’s my closest friend. She’s the only one who would probably get it.

Colin rescued me within two weeks of the theft, something I’d never told him about either. I don’t like talking about my Gold Digger days.

Clearly, neither does Colin.

“Why didn’t you tell me all this? I mean, I knew what you were . . . doing, but I sure as hell didn’t know everything.” He steps away from me and rubs the back of his neck, looking confused. Hurt. Disappointed.

Completely devastated by my confession.

God. He thinks I’m disgusting for what I’ve done. And he doesn’t even know the half of it. “Why is it any of your business, what I’ve done with my life?” I know why it’s his business—I want him to know. He’s one of my closest friends.

And now I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him.

“I’m your friend, Jen. If friends can’t be honest with each other . . .” His voice trails off, the implication clear.

I’m nothing but a liar and a slut. How dare he jump to conclusions? How dare he judge me? Yeah, I’m not proud of the things I did, but I had no choice. I was alone. I couldn’t go back home; my parents were too wrapped up in their own problems to want to deal with mine. They’d ignored me for years and once they lost my brother, it was as if I didn’t exist.

My brother. The only one in my family who really noticed me. The only one who seemed to care as we got older. Now he was dead. I had no one.

Just myself.

“Friends don’t treat each other like they’re trash. At least, not the ones I know,” I say, turning away from him and walking out of the room. I don’t stop as I head toward the employee room and go to the short row of lockers. I open mine up, grab the old purse I’d started using again after the robbery, and slam the metal door, heading back out into the restaurant. I storm past Colin, my head held high, my gaze anywhere but on him.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he barks after me.

I turn to him, my nose tilted into the air. “I’m leaving.”

“You leave right now and you’re fired,” he threatens.

Oh my God. He means it—I can see the grim determination written all over his face. “So fire me, then.” I drop my gaze, refusing to look at him. If I do, I might break down and cry.

“Jenny.” He whispers my name and I chance a glance at him. “Talk to me.” I see the vulnerability in his eyes, the confusion and the sadness. Maybe some of it is tinged with disgust; I don’t know. I can’t really tell. All I know is that he’s judging me and making me feel even worse about my mistakes than I already do. It’s better for me to cut my losses and run. Just like I originally planned.

“Don’t make me do this,” he continues, his deep voice rumbling with agony. “Don’t make me fire you.”

“Are you serious right now? Go ahead.” I flick my chin at him. “Fire me. It’ll give me the excuse to get the hell out of this place even sooner.”