Текст книги "Love Me Back"

Автор книги: Michelle Lynn

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 21 страниц)

My mom shows up drunk wearing a black tight short dress and heels with some man on her arm.  The man is in jeans and a black button down shirt with tattoos up and down his arms.  His greasy hair is slicked back and they both reek of cigarettes and alcohol.  My tears finally form when she walks in.  Unfortunately they aren’t tears of sorrow but tears of rage.

I grab her arm pulling her to the private family room around side of the room my dad is laying in his casket.  “What the hell are you doing?”  I seethe through my teeth.

“Madeline, don’t make a scene.”  She says swaying to the side.

“Me?  Make a scene.  You show up hammered to dad’s funeral.”

“I’m not drunk Madeline.  Excuse me if I needed to have a few drinks before coming.  Have some sympathy, this is hard for me.”

“Are you serious?  Sympathy for you?  Jack and I are burying our father today.  You should be there for US, to console US.”  I can tell my voice is getting louder.  Jack and Gabe have found their way in while her date hovers over the doorway.

“Madeline, you are being so dramatic.”  She waves her hand while falling into the wall.

“Dramatic?  You brought a date.  You are dressed like a slut because you probably fucked that piece of shit before coming in here.  You make me sick.”  I yell.  Gabe is trying to pull me away out of the room but I pull my arm out of his hands.  “What kind of mother are you?”

“Maddy, just stop.”  Jack is between the two of us putting his hands in front of me signaling we should do this another time.

“Yes Madeline, this isn’t the time.”  Her voice cool as a cucumber.

“Jack, how can you let her get away with this?”  I ask.

“Listen, we are here to bury dad so let’s give him the peace.  The people out there loved him and they deserve to grief the same as we do.  We can discuss these things later.”  He calmly says.  Jack is always the mediator between us.

“I could give a shit about talking later.  This is unforgivable.  I am done with you.”  I stomp out of the room with Gabe in tow leaving Jack to deal with my mother.

I push past her boyfriend right outside the funeral home. I sit on the bench wishing I had a cigarette.  I have always been a stress smoker and this is beyond normal level of stress.

Gabe doesn’t follow me outside, he knows when to push me and when to give me space.  I am surprised when someone joins me on the bench outside.

“I’m sorry Maddy.”  Mrs. Basso puts her hand on my knee.

“Well, not like everyone doesn’t know how screwed up my mom is but this…” I throw my hand towards the door.

“Everyone deals in their own way.”

“Mrs. Basso, with all due respect, look at what she has done.”  I place my head in my hands.

“Don’t worry about her, don’t worry about what she is wearing or who she brought.  You worry about yourself today.  This is going to be one of the hardest days of your life.”  She wraps her arm around me bringing me closer to her.

“Thank you Mrs. Basso.”  I lean closer to her letting her treat me as though I am her daughter.

“Anytime Maddy.  Go in there and grieve for your loss.  Tonight you come stay with us, as long as you need, ok?”

“Ok.”  We stand up walking back in.

I stay away from my mom for the rest of the day and when she screams when my dad’s casket is lowered to the ground I try to focus on me and the realization my dad is gone.  The man, who loved me, cared for me and worried about me.  The one parent I had who lived his life for my happiness is no longer on this earth.

I take Mrs. Basso’s advice and stay at their house for the next week until Gabe goes back to Florida.  I try to encourage him to leave sooner but he insists it is more important for him to be here with me.  Jack and Lindsey take time off from their jobs to clear out my dad’s house in Michigan.  I feel bad for not helping but they say it is fine, I need to concentrate on my last year of school but I think deep down they know I can’t handle it.

Saying good-bye to Gabe is harder than I expect.  It has been the best and worst two weeks of my life.  He never kissed me or touched me inappropriately.  We slept in the same bed every night but he only held me close to his chest while stoking my hair.  We would go on walks and have family dinners with his parents.    When we get to the airport and I walk him into the terminal, I feel the tears starting to fall down my cheeks.

“Don’t cry, I will call you when I land.”  He says bringing me into an embrace.

“I’ll miss you.  I can’t thank you enough Gabe.”  I say.

“I am only a phone call away.”

“I would have never gotten through this without you.”

“You are stronger than you think, but I was happy to be here for you.”

“Good luck with the house thing.  Tell Grady and Ryan I said hi.”  I pull away.

“I will.  Have a great senior year.  Think about coming down after you graduate.”  I see the anguish in his eyes, he doesn’t want to push me.

“We’ll see.”  I roll my eyes, he has been trying to convince me to move to Florida after graduation but I told him Florida isn’t really the place for aspiring Interior Designers.

“Bye Gabe.”  I give him one last hug.

“Bye Madgirl” he puts a hand on each side of my face placing his lips on my forehead to kiss me good-bye.  His lips linger and when he pulls away I see doubt run through his body.  He is reluctant to leave me.  Abruptly turning around he walks to the security area but turns around one last time and winks to me before being swarmed up in the crowd of people.

Chapter 18 – Present Day

The elevator doors open to Trent standing in the hallway still half naked.  I pick myself up from being sprawled across the elevator floor walking past him.

“So, what happened?”  His voice cocky.

“What do you think?  He left.”  I say not turning around.

“Figured much.  Maddy, you have to stop fighting this.  We are meant to be together, always have been.”  He has caught up to me now walking along side me.

“Trent.  Not now.”  Tears are still streaming down my face.

“Let him go.”

“I can’t,” I whisper.  I don’t know if Trent heard me or not but when I open the door all the glass and alcohol is spewed on the floor.  I step over the mess walking back to the bedroom.

I dress back in my clothes from yesterday taking my pajamas with me; shoving them in my oversized purse.  Feeling around for my phone to figure out how I am going to get home from here.  The last person I will ask is Trent.

“Stop it Mad, I will take you home.”  He stands in the doorway then enters walking into his closet.  He comes back out wearing a t-shirt and shorts.

“You don’t have to, I can call someone or catch a train that will get me closer to Belcrest.”  I start walking out but he grabs my arm pulling me back.

“Jesus Maddy, what do I have to do?”  He asks.

“You don’t have to do anything.”  I spout.

“I said I was sorry, I’ve changed.  Why is that not enough for you?”

“God Trent.  You just don’t get it.  You have been everything to me for half my life.  The love you gave me was so big and great but the other half of my life…” I can’t stop the tears anymore so I let them fall.  I can’t change who they are for even if I try.

“What Maddy?”  He speaks so soft I barely hear him.

“You destroyed me.  I don’t want to pick myself up from you again.  One of these times I won’t survive it.”

“I’m sorry.  I know I have been a jack ass to you but I swear if you give me a second, third or whatever chance this is I will prove it to you.”  He sits me on the bed and gets down on his knees in front of me holding my hands.

“Trent, that’s not the only reason.”  I silently say.

“Gabe?”  He confirms pulling his hands away from me.

“When you were destroying me he was picking me up.  You both hold a place in my heart and I don’t want to lead either one of you on but…” here comes my rambling.

“What do you want from me Mad?  Anything just name it.”  He picks up his head placing his hands on each of my hips.

“Nothing.  Trent…you are who you are.  I either have to accept it or not.”  I put my hands on his face, the sweet face that gave me my first kiss and my first sexual experience and most of all my first love.  Now all grown up with blonde stubble on his cheeks I can’t break his heart not like he did mine.

“Please don’t choose him.”  He shakes his head back and forth.

“Trent” I sigh.

“Give it time, think about it Maddy.  You have always been the one for me.  You take care of me, believe in me and love me no matter who I am.  You know how great it is to know you don’t love me because of my money or that I am a soccer player for the Soccer National League.”

“There are girls that don’t care about that, you just don’t hang out with them.”

“No girl compares to you.  I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you.”

“I can’t make this decision now Trent, please don’t make me.”  I beg him.

“No but I can’t wait forever Maddy.  It kills me when you are with him.  The way he looks at you.”  He stands up taking my hand.

“How does he look at me?”  I bite my lower lip unsure of my question.

Trent looks back at me and then flicks his eyes forward again.  “Help me clean this mess up.”  Not answering my question.

A few hours later Trent drops me off at my mom’s house.

“Finally girl.  I have been calling you all night.”  Ian runs towards me embracing me.

“What’s all that?”  I ask looking over his shoulder to the scattered pictures across my living room floor.

“Your mom and I are trying to find a picture of your dad.”  He walks back over to the coffee table.

“Why?”  I ask placing my purse on the new bench in the foyer and following him.

“Jack and Lindsey want to display a picture with a lit candle at the church and reception in honor of him.”  My mom answers caring two glasses of ice tea.  She is wearing another new Capri and button down shirt outfit and her hair is perfectly styled in the bob.  Where was this woman when I was growing up?

“That’s nice.”  I pick up some of the pictures thumbing through them.

“Your mom said she is having a hard time finding the right one.”  Ian said.  “I must say though, your dad was a gorgeous man.”

“Like Jack” my mom and I say at the same time.  We look at each other and she smiles at me but I don’t.  I am not ready for some grandmother daughter relationship she seems to want.

Everyone who knew my dad when he was younger saw the resemblance of Jack turning into him as he got older.  The dark hair and striking green eyes is the first thing people notice but if you truly knew both of them it was their high cheekbones and narrow nose they shared as well.

“Yeah, I see it.  Both complete hotties.”  Ian smiles over to me and I smile back.  “Such a shame.  Which brings me to my next question?”

“Do I even want to ask?”  Picking up some more pictures looking at the family photos.  I can’t believe my mom even kept these.

“Are there any men in this town that play for my team?”  He asks.  “Kenna has been taking me around since you have been busy with the Basso brothers and I haven’t seen one and trust me I know when I see them.”

I roll my eyes in his direction for the Basso brother comment.  “I guess I never noticed.  They are probably hidden in the closet still.”  I shrug.

“I can tell you where to go Ian.  There is this bar about twenty minutes out of Belcrest.  In my high time I went in there and couldn’t figure out why no one was hitting on me and then the bartender told me to look around.”  My mom divulges.  Of course she would know of a bar.

“Let’s go tonight Maddy.”  He is up on his knees clapping his hands in excitement.

“I’m exhausted and I have to take care of some stuff.” I say.

“Maddy, you need a night away from those boys.”  He pleas. “Clear your head.  You love the gay bars because no one bothers you there.”

“We have the Bar-B-Que.”  I whine.  I’m not sure why I don’t want to go.  Ian and I have so much fun going out in New York and he is right I always favor the gay bars because no one comes up behind me when I dance trying to hump me.

“After” he begs.

“Um…”

“You should go Maddy.  These boys have been running you wild the whole week.  Once Friday comes it will be crazy.  Go enjoy yourself.”  My mom pushes.

“Okay.  After the Bar-B-Que.  Let’s invite Kenna too.”  I say.

“We can invite everyone.  Barb, did you want to come?”  He asks her.

She looks from Ian to me and shakes her head no but her eyes looks distraught and upset.

“I’m surprised you kept all these pictures.”  I change the subject.

“Why?”  My mom asks.

“I don’t know.  I just figured after you and dad divorced you wouldn’t want to remember them.”  I shrug my shoulders.

“Ian, would you excuse us a minute?”  My mom asks him.  Poor Ian, I have left him alone this whole week.  He keeps getting shut out due to the family issues.  I owe him tonight.

“Of course Barb.”  He winks at me while getting up and going upstairs to Jack’s room.

“Maddy, I know I wasn’t the best mother especially after your dad and I divorced.  I see the hatred in your eyes.”  She swallows hard hesitantly grabbing my hand with hers.  “But I did love your father and our family together.  When he asked me for the divorce, I knew it was coming, I knew it was my fault.”

“Dad asked you for one?”  I had thought for sure it was the other way around.

“Yes, but he had every reason to.  I was gallivanting around behind his back for years.  I don’t know if it was because we married so young or I was just being self-centered.  I felt like I missed out on something by marrying my high school sweetheart.  Then he had to start going out of town and I was responsible for you and Jack all the time, I assumed he was cheating on me so I decided to start living my life.”  She squeezes my hand.

“After he asked for the divorce and I knew it wasn’t because of another woman coming between us, I lost it and started going out more and drinking more.  Somewhere in all of that I forgot I was a mother and I abandoned you and Jack.  Jack was older so he probably embraced the freedom it allowed him to have but you were so young.  I’m sorry Maddy.”

I shake my head up and down.

“I wish I could say your dad’s funeral was my low point but as we both know it wasn’t.”

I shake my head in agreement.  The fateful night that I assume she is going to bring up and I can’t talk about it.  Especially not in this room.  It might be redecorated but I can still visualize the night clearly.

“The way I acted, bringing that guy, being drunk when you and Jack needed me there for you.   I was so upset when I found out, I stayed drunk the whole week, going out and finding men to replace him.  I guess a part of me always thought your dad and I would get back together.”  She takes her glass taking a sip and I see her hand is shaking as she picks up the cup.

“You were so right to yell at me.   I wish then I would have realized what I had done to you.  The regrets I have consume my thoughts every day.  I know you can’t forgive me and I understand but I want to tell you something.”

“Ok.”  I whisper.

“After that night and I mean the next morning after I knew you were ok at the hospital, I checked into a rehab facility.  I have been clean for two years now.”

“That’s good.”  Did she think this would make me all better?  “Why didn’t you tell me?”  I ask.

“I wanted to prove it to you.  I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you and I’m sorry for everything I did.  I love you and I hope one day you will forgive me but if you can’t I understand.”  She pats her hand on my knee standing up and walking away.

This trip just gets better and better every minute.  I am happy for my mom.  That she is finally getting her life back but I still resent her for what she did and what she didn’t do for me.  It makes me realize it is time, time to go.  I have been ignoring the pull since I got here.  The problem is I can’t ask Gabe to take me and I don’t want to ask my mom because I don’t want her asking any questions.  I decide to go for a run over there.  It is only two miles, I am sure my body hasn’t forgotten how to run in the year I have deserted it.

I dig through my drawers in my room, finding my running shorts and shirt.  Luckily I have a pair of old running shoes in the closet as well.  The shorts and shirt are a little tight considering my body changed over the years but it will do.  This way I can escape without anyone knowing where I am going.

The first two blocks are horrible.  My breath is so uneven I think I am going to have to stop but something kicked in when I hit the corner.  My stride and breath come back to normal.  I knew my body would remember.  When I get to the cemetery entrance I’m not prepared to see Trent’s car there.  I can see him up on the hill kneeling on the ground.  I don’t want to interrupt him so I stay down by his car until he is finished.  I wonder if he comes here often.

I am mesmerized watching him as he talks to the right of the headstone.  He wipes his eyes a few times showing me he is crying.  He didn’t forget, this whole time I thought he had.  Tears are welling up in my eyes when he turns around stopping suddenly at the top of the hill.  He is too far away for me to see but I know the sorrow he feels, I feel it too.

I am playing with my fingers looking at the ground when he walks up to me.

“Hey” his voice shaky.

“Hey” is all I can say back.

“Do you come here a lot?”  He asks.

“My first time since that night.”  I shamefully admit.  “You?”

“Every time I come back to town.”

I look up surprised at his response.

“I know you think I don’t care but I do Maddy.”

“No, that’s not it.”  I shake my head back and forth.

“It’s Ok, I have been a selfish prick most of our life.”  He puts his hand on my arm.  “But this” he motions up the hill.  “It’s something I can never forget.”

“I know.”  I gulp hard trying to get my tears to subside until he leaves.

“Well, I will leave you alone.”  He kisses my cheek and walks over to the driver side.  “By the way, nice running clothes.  I think I remember tearing those off of you a time or two.”  He smirks bringing humor to the uncomfortable situation.

I smile up to him but say nothing more.

I wait until Trent drives away then stand at my last feat.  It took too much strength to come here in the first place, now I have to make it up that hill Trent just came down from.  I slowly walk up looking at the numerous headstones with names I recognize of schoolmates or neighbors.  Everyone in town is or would be buried in the cemetery.

Finally I reach my destination.  Jennings reads over the headstone.  It is my dad’s family headstone.  My grandparents and one uncle are also laid here.   I sit down ready to face him.  The angel statue next to his name reminds me I should have come sooner.

“I wish you were here.  You always gave me the best advice.”  I run my hand across his name.  “I don’t know what to do about Gabe and Trent let alone mom.  What has happened to my life?”

I sit there in silence listening to the birds chirping and leaves swaying in the wind.  The cemetery is off the main roads so there is no noise of cars or people.  I don’t know what I expected to get from this.  I pick at the weeds around the family stone contemplating leaving thinking maybe this was a mistake.

“I miss you…every day.”  I softly say.  “I know I haven’t been here but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about you.”  I touch the angel caressing the ridges with my thumb.

“I hope you will forgive me.  Isn’t it absurd, I am asking for your forgiveness when I can’t forgive mom or Trent?  Is there an act that is unforgivable?”  I shake my head knowing there are but what mom and Trent did are not unforgivable.

“I know you would tell me to forgive them you never were one to hold grudges.  God, why did you have to die on me?”  I put my head in my hands crying.  “My life is a disaster dad.  Gabe found me at Trent’s apartment today and he thinks I slept with him but I didn’t.  Trent wants me to desert Gabe and move right back in with him but I love Gabe, at least I think I do.  Now mom tells me she has been clean for two years and she hasn’t told me until now.  I have been living my life for three years with no one to look over me or guide me.  I am so mad at you for leaving me.”  I pound my fists onto the ground crumpling.

“I was mad at first too.”  The deep voice speaks behind me.  I didn’t hear him come up.  “I would sit here and scream at him for leaving us but eventually it stopped.  It wasn’t his fault Maddy, he didn’t want to leave us.”  He rests his hand on my shoulder.

“Oh Jack, I miss him so much.”  I try to wipe the tears but I can’t catch them fast enough.

“I know Maddy, I know.  I do too.”  He kneels down wrapping his arms around me tight.  “Talk to me.  I know I haven’t been the most welcoming to talk about your love life but listening to you now makes me feel like a shitty brother.”

“You don’t want to hear it Jack.  This week is about you and Lindsey.  My problems shouldn’t be your concern.”  I say into his chest my breathing still unsteady.

“I want to help you.  Come on let’s go get something to eat.”  He stands up asking for my hand.  My fingers rub across the letters and the angel one more time before I take Jack’s hand.

“Bye, I promise I will be back.”  I pull my hand back closing my eyes.

“Hey dad, I’ll come back later.  Got to take care of our girl.”  Jack speaks casually.  He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I realize he is in his running gear too.  Looking down the hill I don’t see his car.  I guess I am getting my exercise in today.

“I picked it up after dad.  Wanted to make sure my heart stayed in good shape.”  He says noticing my curious expression at his attire.

“Funny, me too.”  I admit.

“Hey do you know anything about that angel?  One day it just appeared there.”  He asks.  I bite my lip unsure if I should tell him.

“Huh” I look back at the cement angel that sat on the right of my dad’s headstone.  I don’t exactly lie I just don’t divulge all the information.  Maybe I can tell him one day but not yet.

We walk over to the diner in town.  We are lucky this town is so small, easy to access on foot.  The diner is decorated in fifty style with teal, black and red sprawled throughout with the long counter wrapping all around the kitchen area lined with stools.  Booths are placed around the windows.  It is midafternoon so it is bare with the exception of some older gentleman at the counter.

Jack picks a table in the back that I assume is for privacy.  In this town everyone wants to know everyone’s business.  The young waitress comes over, maybe a high school student and we order fries and milkshakes.  I know I am taking my chances getting into that dress on Saturday if I keep my diet like I have.

“So, I promise I won’t judge.”  Jack says laying his forearms on the table.  “I know a little of the love triangle, Doug has filled me in a little throughout the years.”  He admits and I see the anguish in his eyes that he never asked me before.

“Are you sure Jack?  I could always talk to Lindsey or someone else.  Is this going to make you feel uncomfortable?”  I ask.

“Maddy, I’m fine.  We are adults now.  I am your brother.  I want to help you.  Not to mention, I know the Basso brothers the best after their mom and dad.”

Jack has a point there.  “Ok, tell me if you want me to stop at some point.”

He makes a face at me so I continue.  “Well, I always thought I was meant to be with Trent….” I start to tell my brother the story of my life he isn’t familiar with.

An hour later, our milkshake and fries have been consumed, Jack looks emotionally exhausted and I finally take a much needed rest from talking.

“When I say this I want you to know I love Trent and Gabe like my own brothers.  Knowing them both I have a preference of who I want my little sister to be with if I only have them to choose from.  But this isn’t my decision and to tell you the truth I think you know who you want to be with but you are just afraid of the answer.”  He motions for the waitress.  So much for brotherly advice, he heard my story now he is ready to leave.

The little blonde comes over giving my brother a once over.  Seriously, he is like fifteen years older than her.

“Can we get two more shakes and some water?”  He asks.  I look up at him in surprise.

“No, I will have a diet soda.”  Jack looks up at me.  “I have to fit into that dress on Saturday.”  I smile.

“Oh yeah, me too.”  I cock my eyebrow at him.  “You know what I mean.”  He waves me off looking at the waitress.  “I’ll have a diet soda as well.”

She nods her head smacking her gum leaving to fill the order.

“How could you possible think I know who I want to be with?  Did you not hear how complicated this situation is?”  I ask in disbelief.

“I can hear it when you told the story.  Your mannerism and voice changed when you were talking about one of them more than the other.  There were words here or there where I could tell which one you love more.”

“That’s just it Jack, I don’t think I love one more than the other.”

“Yes you do Maddy.  Listen, you couldn’t pick a worse triangle, I mean brothers are bad but the Basso’s are so close.  Their brotherly bond is so thick and tight which makes me understand how much they both must love you.  No ordinary girl would come between those two, Gabe wouldn’t betray his brother like that for some girl he didn’t love or see a future with.  If Trent didn’t love the girl as much as his brother he wouldn’t fight to overcome him.  I also know that their love is so deep for each other once you make your decision, your honest no going back decision, the other will step down.  Don’t get me wrong it will be hard at first and it might take time for the brothers to heal but they will come back together in time.”

I shake my head in agreement.

“Maddy, the time has come.  You have to make this decision and soon.  If you don’t I am afraid you will lose them both.  From what you say they are both close to their breaking points, Gabe might already be there.”

“I know, I know.”  I agree.

“You had to wait for my wedding.  Lindsey warned me about this but I thought she was crazy.”  He shakes his head in amusement but I see the stress along with it.

“I will wait until Sunday.”  I say thinking this will make the situation tolerable.

“Oh no you won’t.  I am not going to have some big blow up at my wedding, which is going to happen if you keep stringing them along.  You make that decision tonight Maddy.  You either pick one of them or yourself.  Whatever you decide it has to be it.  You need to do it for not only yourself for them.”  He seems angry and upset.

“I’m sorry.”  I put my head down playing with my straw.

“I don’t mean to be cruel.  I am just trying to tell you how it is.  I love you Maddy and I hope you pick the person in your heart because you deserve the happiness that you never got.  You deserve to have someone there for you and cherish you.  Someone who thinks the world of you and will stand by your side when you need them the most and someone you want to stand by when they need you.”  He looks like he might cry.

“You’re going to make an excellent husband Jack.  Lindsey’s lucky.”  I say putting my hand over his on the table.

“I keep telling her that but she doesn’t believe me.”  He laughs.  Then I realize he is my father.  Somewhere in our screwed up childhood Jack developed my dad’s fatherly qualities and he has perfected them.

“Can I ask you something?”  I stop laughing noting to him this is back to serious.

“Go ahead.”  He nods his head to me.

“How can you forgive Mom?”  I know what he is going to say so I don’t know if I am asking just to hear it or hoping he will say something else.

“It took a while.  When she first went to rehab I didn’t believe it would work.  I was ready to write her off especially after Dad’s funeral.  She came to me about six months after rehab and asked me to attend some family counseling classes with her.  I went, Linds did too and with time I guess I forgave her.”

“How come she never asked me?”  I ask feeling a pain of jealously that she didn’t deem me important to go to family counseling.  Am I not a part of this family?

“She knew she had a lot more to make up to you.  She wanted to prove herself to you.  To be honest Mad, it’s not like you were welcoming to her calling or visiting.  I mean you haven’t been home since…”

“Yeah” I bite the inside of my cheek.  I guess I haven’t given her room to make an effort.  She did try to call me and even asked Trent if she could come out to visit us in New York but I refused.

“What she’s done.”  I shake my head.  “I just don’t know if I can forgive her.”

“It might take time but Maddy, she’s our mom.  As much as it sucks what she put us through, she is trying to make amends, trying to be the mom we need now.”  Jack is always the forgiving one.  I guess that missed my gene pool.  “Give it time.  Try to allow her in your life and see where it goes.”

I shake my head afraid if I speak I will cry and Jack has taken more than enough time on me today.

“Are we good?”  He asks.

“Yeah, thank you Jack.”  I look at his matching emerald eyes thankful to have him in my life.

“Good.”  He motions to the waitress for the bill.  “Maddy, please call me when you have a problem.  I want to be the brother you deserve as well.”

“Same goes here.”  I say and we get up and hug.  Somehow my body is at peace in this moment.  I can’t explain it but my body feels like my own again.

“Now, I have a Bar-B-Que I have to get going.”  He looks down at his watch and takes out his phone.  “I’ll see you there, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”  I say.

He gives me a kiss on the cheek and starts jogging towards his house.  How is he able to run after fries and milkshake?  I turn in the opposite direction walking towards my mom’s house.  I am thankful for Jack and he is right, I should accept my mom’s apology and I need to choose.  Is Jack right, is there one I love more?  I don’t feel like there is well, maybe. Ugh…I don’t know.  Then I hear the one voice that hates me more than I hate myself over this mess.

“Madeline.”  She says in disgust.

“Hello Mrs. Basso.”  I respond.  Could my day get any worse?