Текст книги "Being a Jett Girl"
Автор книги: Meghan Quinn
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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 20 страниц)
Chapter Nine
“Break In”
Lo
Another presentation was in the books, making me forget how many I had under my belt now. I did know that Pepper was right when she said the original presentations were the best because I had never felt sexier than when I was wearing my Jett Girl kit that Jett designed specifically for me. We had a couple of odd presentations coming up that we have been practicing for so it was nice to just give a normal one, to dance to normal music and play out some hot choreography.
Miss Mary and I came to a mutual understanding this afternoon after butting heads all morning. Basically what it came down to was that she would stop threatening me with her ruler if I would put a sugar-coated filter over my mouth. You would think I had the harder task given the track record of nonsense that flew out from my lips but I saw Miss Mary glance back at her ruler in yearning and twitch in need.
I had a couple more lessons lined up with Miss Mary but what I learned so far was Jett socializes with a bunch of uppity frog warts and my nights accompanying him were going to be full of fake smiles and cheesy comments. Frankly, I didn’t care because if it meant spending more time with Jett, then I would do pretty much anything. I enjoyed our time more than anything in the Bourbon Room but one of my favorite moments ever was when we were on the Steamboat Natchez, watching the river ripple and being encased by his firm embrace as we watched the big red paddle push us forward. That day was the best date I had ever been on and it was burned in my memory. I only wished he would ask me out again.
I knew that day was hard on him, we both opened up and shared with each other, me more than him, but still, it was the first glimpse I ever saw of the man inside the stoic shell and more than anything, I wanted to get to know that man better because what I did know, I liked a lot and could not stop thinking about.
“Good job tonight, ladies,” Kace said as he walked backstage.
All the girls were sitting in chairs, taking their regular shots of the night and discussing the creeps they saw in the room during our presentation. We weren’t allowed to talk about them but in our little circle we shared because it was just too good not to.
“Did you see the guy with the neck pube?” Francy asked as she grabbed Tootse’s hand and pulled her on her lap. Tootse didn’t put up a fight as she succumbed to Francy’s demand and placed her head on Francy’s shoulder.
“Neck pube?” I asked, trying to recall such a thing on one of the men.
“Yeah, seat six had a giant hair popping out of his neck that practically waved at us as we danced. The damn thing was so distracting.”
“How could you see from that far away?” I asked.
“Lo, the damn thing was as thick as a Red Vine and was blacker than burnt shit.”
“How black is burnt shit?” Babs asked as she took off her mask.
“Black,” Francy replied, very sure of herself.
“I didn’t see it but now I wish I did. I was really wondering about the color of burnt shit,” I replied with a smile.
“Smart ass,” Francy muttered as Tootse gave her a peck on the cheek.
“I’m sure the neck pube was real gross, honey. Yucky!” Tootse added, while scrunching up her nose. “I just don’t see why it’s so hard for men to stay trimmed. I mean, we keep things clean, would it be so hard for them to trim their neck pubes?”
“Fucking neck pubes,” I added to Tootse’s rant.
“I’m just grateful I’m a lesbian. Men are nasty,” Francy said.
“Not all men,” Kace gruffed out as he sat back in his chair with his arms across his chest.
I had to agree with that statement. Not all men was right, especially any of the men that were associated with the Lafayette Club. They were all fine specimens that God graced New Orleans with.
“How was Miss Mary?” Pepper asked as she poured herself another shot. “I remember my first etiquette class with her. I thought she was going to slit my pussy open with the raw edge of that damn ruler of hers. That bitch is terrifying.”
I laughed from Pepper’s shiver.
“I’m pretty sure she had a crush on me,” Tootse said. “All she did was stare at my boobs.”
“I don’t blame her,” Francy added as she poked Tootse’s breast with her index finger.
“Stop that,” Tootse shoed her away. “We don’t want to get Lo all hot and bothered again.”
“Shut up,” I said while everyone laughed.
“I know lesbian things,” Francy joked, quoting me from one of my very intoxicated nights.
“Melons for sale!” Tootse added.
Everyone laughed, even Kace let out a little snicker.
“Ha, ha, you guys are so fucking hilarious. Taking advantage of the intoxicated is a crime, you know.”
“No it’s not.” Babs laughed. “And you wanted all of that, the girls just followed through.”
“They enticed me,” I said defending myself.
“Yeah and you went with it because you were bi-curious,” Pepper said, still laughing, maybe she was slightly drunk.
“Can you blame me? I mean, is it so bad to want to see how the other half lives?”
“We are living the high life, babe,” Francy said while kissing Tootse’s shoulder again. “Not having to deal with a horny man poking you in the middle of the night, begging you to just spread your legs a little so he can get a little pussy action is something I never have to deal with.”
“Yeah, you just wake up with a vibrator shoved between your legs,” Babs teased.
“And what a hell of a way to wake up.”
Kace’s phone beeped, interrupting their little conversation. I didn’t move, but waited for my cue to head up to the Bourbon Room. I needed to see Jett after the day I had with Miss Mary. I needed to relax and spend some time with the man who’s been clouding my mind.
When Kace looked down at his phone and then at Babs, my heart sank to the floor.
“Babs, you’re up,” he said, avoiding eye contact with me.
I watched as she nodded, gathered her mask and took off for the back staircase. Putting on a smile, I took another shot, wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and yawned. I needed to get out of this little pow wow because my emotions were about to get the best of me and if I didn’t get out of the back room quickly I would soon become a blubbering idiot in front of everyone.
“Hell, I’m tired,” I said as I stood up and grabbed my mask. As I looked around, I saw everyone’s pity and the way they looked right through my tired act. I ignored them, said a quick good night and headed upstairs.
I wanted to believe the fact that Babs was just going up there to talk to Jett but in the back of my mind, I still had the sinking feeling that I was sharing the man with everyone else. I’m not stupid, I knew the rules that were laid out for me when I signed my contract but I would be lying if I said the truth didn’t hurt because the fact that Jett could still call on another girl hurt like a motherfucker.
Once I got to my room, I stripped down and started a bath for myself. I just needed to relax and rid myself of the negative thoughts that were running through my mind.
I scolded my skin with the heated water and bubbles as I sank in deep and rested my head on a folded up towel. I tried to let go of all the thoughts running through my head as I sank deep into the tub and let the water relax me.
I must have drifted off to sleep because next thing I knew, I was freezing cold, most of my bubbles were gone and the towel I was resting my head on was now soaking up the water in the tub. Switching over to the shower, I rinsed off and then dried my body. I quickly put on lotion and headed to my bed where I slipped under the covers, letting the decadent fabric caress my skin.
It was a long day and given the practice line up and lessons with Miss Mary I had scheduled, it was going to be another long day tomorrow.
***
I was in a dream land where ponies talked and rainbows were for eating when I was startled from my slumber by a dip in my bed. Going instantly into defense mode, I raised my arms in a karate fight position and shouted, “One more move and your throat will be knife-handed.”
My hair fell in front of my face as I tried to look around so I could catch a glimpse of the intruder. I was fucking ready to slice someone.
A warm hand reached out and pushed my hair behind my ear, which made me jolt back for a second but then I saw the dark shadow of Jett Colby sitting on my bed and I relaxed. Even in the moonlight, he looked more handsome than ever. I didn’t think it was fair for a man to look so good but he did, even in his casual clothes.
“Jett, what are you doing scaring the piss out of me?”
He cocked his head to the side and said, “Did you really think you could take someone out with those little hands of yours?”
“I’m tough!” I said while sticking my chin out.
A small smile spread across his face, very small, as he said, “You’re gorgeous.”
Well, melt my pussy right in half because he was a smooth talker.
“Thank you but what are you doing here?”
He shrugged his shoulders as he looked me in the eyes. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked while pulling up my covers so Jett’s heated gaze would tear away from my nearly exposed breasts.
Jett reached up and grabbed my chin with his thumb and forefinger then lightly stroked my bottom lip.
“I have a lot going on,” he said, not answering my question. I just nodded in response because I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. “If I don’t invite you up to the Bourbon Room, I don’t want you to think that I’m not thinking about you or that I don’t care about you. I just…” he ran his hand over his face as he paused. I was seeing a side of Jett I only saw once and it was when he asked me to stay with him in the Lafayette Club, and right now, he had the same desired and desperate look on his face. Something must have been going on that I really didn’t know about because he looked distressed.
I placed my hand on his cheek and said, “I understand.”
“Do you?” he asked as the moon reflected off the side of his face. Dark circles were highlighted under his eyes as he looked at me and that was when I realized that Jett was not just the man that protected me, watched over me and took care of me but there was a whole other side of him that I was soon going to find out about, a side that made him the man he was today.
“I like to think so,” I responded, not really sure where any of this was going.
He looked down at his hands while he said, “Friday you are going to be exposed to a group of people who take what they want, when they want it and have zero regard for anyone around them. They are fake and have the ability to tear apart the most innocent of hearts.” He looked up at me when he said “innocent” indicating he was talking about me.
“I’m far from innocent,” I responded out of instinct.
“You’re innocent in this world, despite your past, you’re so fucking innocent.” Jett shook his head again. He looked like he was in immense pain from having to bring me to his party. I didn’t get it.
“Okay, I guess I don’t understand. Why is this so difficult for you?”
“Because,” he shot off real quick while running his hands through his hair. His chest heaved as he looked up at me and spoke in a calmer tone. “Because I’m exposing you, Goldie. These people are part of a secret society where business is conducted under the table and million-dollar deals are solidified by a hand shake. This isn’t a fucking walk in the park kind of event. I have to be on point for every fucking second I’m there and if for one minute I drop my façade, not only will I lose credibility but I will be eaten alive.”
“And you’re worried that I will distract you?”
“No, I’m worried that I will be too busy trying to protect you.”
This whole conversation just seemed so dramatic. It was a stupid social. It wasn’t like we were going to a mafia party where the bloods and the crypts were the party honorees. I was pretty sure I could handle some prissy ass debutantes and over compensating men.
I leaned back on the bed, letting the blanket slip dangerously low, like nipples-are-about-to-have-a-party low and pressed my hands behind my head. “Pretty sure I can handle myself, Jett. Thanks for the concern though.”
His eyes were no longer looking at me, no, they were eye-fucking my tits as my chest heaved from his glare. I watched as his hand ran up my body, past my stomach and to the edge of my blankets. Just when I thought he was actually going to cover me up, he ripped the blankets off, exposing my naked body.
Without missing a beat, he yanked my ankles down so I was lying flat on the bed and he was straddling my body. He looked me right in the eyes and said, “Say it.”
I could not deny this man anything so I licked my lips and said, “I’m here to submit to you.”
His lips were on mine, faster than I could blink. He placed both his hands on either side of my head and hovered right above me, not applying too much pressure but just enough to drive me fucking ape shit crazy.
The fabric on his clothes rubbed against my bare skin, sending tingles of excitement through my veins. I knew what was under those clothes and I wanted them…badly.
His lips still continued to move across mine as he lowered down to his elbows and started to caress my face with his thumbs. Slowly, he pulled away and looked into my fucking soul.
“I can’t have anything happening to you, little one.”
“Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise.”
“You don’t belong in that world, with those people.”
Ouch, that stung a little. I tried to chalk it up to the fact that he meant they were manipulative asshats but there was a little voice in the back of my mind that kept repeating Jett’s words over and over in my head, I had no class. I tried to convince myself that his conversation with me was true, that he wanted to protect me and it wasn’t him trying to come up with a different reason as to why he didn’t want me at his parties.
Instead of responding, I just nodded, even though my heart was feeling a little salty. My body was begging for Jett’s touch so I pushed back the pain in my heart and got lost in the feel of Jett’s breath against my neck and the way his strong body did make me feel protected.
“Come with me,” Jett said as he started to get up.
The abrupt change in his demeanor startled me. He went from kind and caring, wanting to make sure that I was going to be okay to dominating Jett, the Jett who wanted to fuck me every which way till Monday and at that moment, for the first time since I’ve been at the Lafayette Club, I didn’t want to go to the Bourbon Room. I didn’t want to play, I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel the man that just left the conversation, I wanted to feel the protective and sensitive Jett, not the playtime Jett.
He tried to pull me off the bed but I just sat up and hugged my knees. The look of concern that flashed across his face was endearing. Once again, the split personalities of the man looking down at me could be so confusing.
“Is everything okay?”
“I don’t want to go up there tonight.”
His jaw twitched as he thought about what I said. I could see him waiver between his dominant self, his natural sexual being and trying to be a nice guy. I knew how the game was played, when I submitted I didn’t really get an option of anything unless I gave him the safe word but I wasn’t ready to cry alligator yet, I wanted to see if he would adjust to my needs.
“This is not up for negotiation, Lo,” he responded, using my Jett Girl name. He was going with the dominant man which was disappointing especiallyafter everything that we discussed tonight; I wasn’t giving in, not tonight.
I sat up, put on my big girl pants and said, “Alligator.”
The room fell silent as utter defeat crossed his features. He turned his back away from me and ran his hands through his hair. A knot formed in the pit of my stomach as I contemplated what I just did, what I just said to him. The tension in the room grew thick as I tried to think of what to say, what to do, how to ease the tension I just so easily put between us by using just one little word.
I didn’t want to disappoint Jett at all, but I also wasn’t feeling like playing around. I needed human comfort, I needed to know that even though I wasn’t the most dignified lady on the block that I was still his first choice, that I was good enough for him.
He turned toward the bathroom and held on to the doorframe as his head hung low. What the fuck did I do? Did I insult him?
I grabbed the robe that was at the end of my bed, wrapped it around my shoulders and cinched the belt at my waist. I tiptoed across the plush carpet and stood behind Jett. My hand reached out to him but then I pulled back because I had no clue what to do or say. With one simple word did I just ruin everything I built up between myself and this delicious man?
With courage, I lifted my hand back up and gently touched his back. He stiffened under my touch and then turned around. When he looked down at me, the moon shined on his face so I was able to see that for once, he showed an emotion and it was an emotion I didn’t want to see because the pained look on his face just absolutely devastated me.
He pulled my hand to make me come closer and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing his strong body against mine. He lifted one hand to my face and cupped it as he said, “Please, little one, please tell me what I did wrong.”
So he wasn’t angry with me…he was sorry, concerned. Would I ever be able to read him properly?
I thought about my needs but how did I explain to a man who was practically emotionally unavailable that I needed to be held, to be touched in a way that only a lover could, that I wanted him but I didn’t want the Bourbon Room, the one thing that was non-negotiable. It’s not like I didn’t always want the Bourbon Room, I just needed Jett, the man Jett, not the dominant Jett.
Taking a deep breath, I responded. “It’s nothing you did, it’s just something I need.”
“What do you need?” he asked as he searched my eyes.
“I need you, Jett.”
Slight confusion crossed his face as he thought about what I said. The minute his body language stiffened, I knew he understood what I meant and my heart started tumbling down.
He stepped away from me and said, “You know I can’t give you that, Lo.”
I hated it when he called me Lo, it seemed so formal. I liked it at first but now I hated it because I knew that when we were intimate, when he was pleased with me he called me Goldie or little one but Lo, that was reserved for everyone in the Lafayette Club, it was reserved for when Jett closed me off and it irritated me.
Growing frustrated from my need, from my feelings, I took off my robe, tossed it to the side and got into my bed. I turned on my side like a very mature person—not—and pulled the covers over my body.
Over my shoulder, I called out, “Make sure to shut the door on your way out.”
“Lo—”
“Don’t,” I said as I tried to hold back all the emotions that were bubbling over. I wasn’t good at handling my emotions and right now it was showing. “I get it, all right? I know you don’t do attachments but sometimes a girl just needs to be held, not brought up to the Bourbon Room where she will be twisted, tied up, spread out and fucked raw.”
There was no response. I was almost positive he left until I heard the clunk of shoes on the floor and a wave of cold air hit my skin as the blanket was lifted.
Jett’s hard body pressed against my back and his arms wrapped around my naked torso. Was this really happening? Was I really being held by him? Was he really nestling his head into my hair?
“I don’t…do this,” he whispered into my ear, sending chills all over my damn body. All the tension and frustration that was taking over my body seconds ago evaporated the minute Jett slid in behind me and held on tight. A small smile spread across my face and I could feel my body melt into his.
“Well you’re fucking fantastic at it because I’m pretty sure my little clitty poo is drowning.”
“Don’t fucking call it that,” he breathed into my ear. I was pretty sure I heard him laugh but I could be mistaken.
His hand inched up between my breasts, not in a sexual way but more in a comforting gesture. He pulled me in tighter and spoke directly in my ear.
“Remember when you came up to the Bourbon Room for the first time?”
“Yes.” I wished Miss Mary could have heard me answer properly; one day of training was wearing off on me already.
“Remember how I told you I would never do anything you didn’t want?” I just nodded, now feeling out of breath from the way his voice caressed my skin. “Well, it’s true. I never want to do anything to displease you, to make you uncomfortable or to make you say your safe word. I’m sorry that I can’t be that man that you need. I’ve been…” He paused and my heart ripped out for him. “God, Goldie, you make me say things I would never dream of saying to another person but the moment you said your safe word, I thought my chest was going to explode. I hate that I did that to you. I’m sorry.”
Well, now I felt like an ass. It wasn’t like he was pinching my nipples to the point of them falling off, I just didn’t want to go upstairs with him. Fuck me.
“I’m sorry, Jett. I just didn’t—”
“Don’t,” he interrupted me and pulled me in even closer. “When you first came here, Kace told me you were different, that you needed more than a physical connection, that you needed an emotional one and I knew that going into this. I just chose to ignore that because I’m a selfish prick but I can see that he was right, you do need that aspect of being with someone. I don’t do emotions. I’m a fucked-up bastard who has a problem with showing his emotions for many reasons that I won’t get into so it’s hard for me to give you what you need. I don’t know if I ever will be able to...” his voice trailed.
We both lay on my bed in silence as we thought about what was transpiring between us. I could feel him pulling away from me, not physically, no, he had a death grip on my torso but mentally, he was checking out and it was scaring the shit out of me.
“I don’t need it all the time, Jett. I just had some bad thoughts in my head and going to the Bourbon Room just wasn’t what I needed. I’m sorry.”
Why was I apologizing? I heard myself gripping on to any loose end that Jett would throw me and I hated the way my voice sounded, like a desperate woman trying to hang on. But wasn’t that what I was? I wanted Jett so fucking bad. There was this undeniable force that brought me to him and even though he says he’s an emotionless bastard, I still feel his pain. I didn’t want to lose anything we had and right now, it felt like he was minutes from cutting me loose by the way his silence continued. Panic set in.
“Talk to me,” I almost demanded. “Tell me what you need, Jett.”
He took a second to gather himself before he said, “You, Goldie. I just need you.”
My gut twisted. He was so vulnerable, I didn’t know what to say. When I tried turning around to face him, he wouldn’t let me so instead, I just let him hold me like I wanted but if I were honest, it almost felt like he needed more than anything to hold me at that moment, rather than me needing him.
Instead of talking, we stayed silent and lay in my bed. As Jett wrapped his body around me, my heart tore in two. I wanted this man, more than anything but was he really willing to give me everything? Was he able to give me not just his body but his mind, his soul as well? I wasn’t too sure and that realization made my stomach churn from the thought of not being able to keep Jett in my life.
Sleep eluded me as my brain worked overtime and when I woke up the next morning, Jett was nowhere to be found but there was a note on my table. Written in green marker, was a note from Jett.
I will be out of town for a while. Listen to Kace. – J
What the fuck?
